Need advice on how to help my friend

(8 Posts)
Poppylovescheese Sat 15-Feb-14 22:07:01

Hi ladies
Hope you don't mind me posting here but my friend has been admitted to a mother and baby unit with severe PND. She text me to tell me and I have visited her once but she is very reluctant to have visitors or support. Her baby is 6 weeks old and she has had a very hard time. She has cystic fibrosis and had the baby by caesarean. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can be there for her both while she is in the unit and when she gets out. I have a ds of my own but have never experienced depression and really want to help her both practically and emotionally and at the same time am mindful of not interfering. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Poppylovescheese Sun 16-Feb-14 17:32:31

Anyone sad

DumDum32 Sun 16-Feb-14 17:36:48

No advice really just that be there as an ear to listen. Sometimes just talking can help. When she gets home maybe offer to watch the baby whilst she might catch up on sleep etc. small things will speak volume. I wish ur friend a speedy recovery smile

Shallishanti Sun 16-Feb-14 17:38:36

she may seem reluctant to have support but it maybe just that she can't respond. I would keep sending her texts occassionaly and maybe a card? Does she have a DP?any family? they too will need support, when PND is bad enough to need admission to M&B unit it can be very scary.
She will need help when she comes out too, maybe practical, maybe just being there to listen. Maybe going for walks together with prams- exercise and fresh air are very healing but someone with depression may find it hard to make the initial effort.
I'd also suggest reading up on PND.

Poppylovescheese Sun 16-Feb-14 20:08:33

Thanks. Yes she has a dh and I think he is quite supportive but obviously very worried. Her family are quite far away and as far as I know not that close to her. I get exactly what you mean Shallishanti as she actually said to me she just feels like she can't communicate. I have offered to go for walks with her and also to watch the baby but so far she has been reluctant. I will do some more reading on PND and thanks for all the comments/advice/suggestions: they are all appreciated as I really do just want to do anything I can to support her. I know she is very worried about how long she will be in the unit and also unsure as to how it will help; I would like to reassure her but have no experience myself.

Shallishanti Mon 17-Feb-14 15:06:56

She is getting treatment, that's the main thing
Useful information here
http://www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/index.html

Shesparkles Mon 17-Feb-14 15:15:28

Please keep in touch with her, even if you get nothing back. She must be in a bad way to have been admitted. Even if you send her texts or a card with the most mundane stuff from your day, it will mean a huge amount to her as she recovers, just knowing that you're still there. Even if you say "I'm sorry I don't know what to say but I'm here" can make a huge difference.

The person I thought was one of my best friends walked away from me with PND and that hit me almost as hard as the PND itself. When you lose confidence in the way that you do with PND it doesn't take many people behaving like that to reinforce negative thoughts about yourself

Poppylovescheese Mon 17-Feb-14 16:45:28

Thanks, I have been texting every couple of days just to say I am thinking of her and also will send some flowers. Thanks for the link and all the advice; I am taking it all on board and i do appreciate it.

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