Too much too soon :(

[pumpkinsweetie]

Had my baby a week ago, and finding myself very tearful each day and simple things can set me off.

I have 5 dc including my baby between the ages of 3-10.
My 5yo has behavioural problems and problems learning and communicating. Her behaviour has got considerably worse since baby was here and i'm starting to get anxious upon doing simple tasks such as appointments and getting the children to school.

Luckily my dh works nights so he can be there for me if needed but i can't see how its fair to wake him up every school run but i need him to help me as my 5yo is hard to get from A-B if things don't go well ie her tantruming on floor whilst i have baby in pram along with a 3yo in tow.

I feel in despair and that if i keep relying on my dh so much our relationship will suffer. My older children are also becoming upset as my time is completely taken.

Never thought it would be this hard, i never remember feeling like this when in had dc4. I just feel i cannot cope on my own and i'm anxious even before leaving the house about probable problems. My dh had to go straight back to work 3 days after baby was born, just feel thrown in at the deep end

I just want to spend time at home bonding with baby but appointments with mw and 5yo dc speech app which are far away (i dont drive) and the school run are just too much so early on.

I just want to rest but feel i'm not able too, feel so blue and helpless and struggling to see how i can cope with 5 children and do it alone without constantly having to ask of dhs help.

[Trooperslane]

Sounds like you're slap bang in the middle of the baby blues

Can your DH not take some paternity leave? It's hard enough having one, never mind 5 and one who needs extra attention. Could your older dcs help?

[pumpkinsweetie]

He can't unfortunetly, we need the money, he only started this job around a month ago so he hasn't even been paid for the 3 days he had off. I can't complain as i'm happy he got this job, it's just such a pita i haven't been able to have my dh with me in the early weeks.

I'm very, very lucky he does nights, it's just nights can be the most daunting ie newbaby & my other dc all bartering for attention when they should be in bed.

My eldest (10yo) has been a great help with putting dvds on or fetching drink for 5yo etc but then i realise i shouldn't be putting it on her as she needs her rest too.

Dh says he is happy to help me, but with me getting little or next to no sleep it cannot be good for him to also be losing sleep then having to go to work every evening.
It's lucky he did help me today as 5yo was hard work into getting to school and cryed all the way there and when we got to school it took a while to get her to go in and yesterday same happened sending 3yo to nursery but i was alone and couldn't stop the tears.

I feel racked with guilt & feel like i cannot stretch myself between the wants & needs from all 5 dc & dh.

I don't know whether it's the baby blues, i hope it is. I have told the mw, she thinks that is all it is and maybe my milk drying up (not bf) is what has caused it as my hormones are reverting back to their pre pregnant state.

I love my baby and so excited she is here, just need to get that faith in myself that eventuallly i can leave the house without fear of any of my dc having a major tantrum or in 5yos case a meltdown.
Think the sleep depravation is also making me paranoid but last night i managed 5hrs as baby slept beautifully for 2 1/2 hrs at a time twice, but before this i have had 2hrs sleep a day maximum.

[Katiejon]

So hard with little sleep, I've been there!
Homestart supply volunteers to help with children.
5 children is incredibly hard work and you may well need extra help.