What a horrible thing to happen. No wonder you feel so bad. But you can't change what happened. So please don't allow yourself to get into a downward spiral thinking about that year you 'lost'. Sounds like your baby was incredibly well cared for by her dad. For all you know that is the biggest gift you could ever have given either of them. Men who bond closely with their DC are far more likely to stay involved in parenting them, and you hear enough stories on here of absent fathers or men who do nothing with the children to know how valuable that is.
Babies need clean clothes, food and cuddles. The real input begins in the toddler years. They are magical: first world, first step, learning to do all sorts of things. Look forward not back and really get stuck into what's happening next. You'll LOVE those years. Children don't remember their first year but my DC still remember some of their toddler times fondly.
You've had a lucky escape, you know what your values are and you have a new idea for a business. Looked at that way - you are doing brilliantly. Better than ever.
I had my baby 18 months ago, i met a old associate when my baby was 6 weeks i would never class her as a friend she had a business idea and wanted me to help. Her business idea was weak i shared an idea of mine with her that her husband really liked and he was very off. He wanted to put £20,000 in to get the business to fly
Long story short before i knew it we had an office staff i was leaving the house at 8am and getting back in at 8pm. I tried like mad to spend time with my baby doing night feeds but exhaustion set in. The business had a investor who wanted to invest £100,000 to take the product national. I got up to go to work and received a text "DON'T COME TO WORK I HAVE CHANGED THE LOCKS AND HAVE SIGNED ALL THE ASSETS OVER TO A LIMITED COMPANY WHERE I AM THE ONLY DIRECTOR" basically i was screwed over.
Over the next few months i felt angry and sad i fell into a deep depression all i wanted to do was spend time with my baby as the strong bond she has with her dad was not there with me. everyday the bond is getting stronger but i feel like i am working at something that usually comes natural. I think i had slight postnatal depression for the start and i may have took the opportunity as a way of not facing it along with improving my families financial situation. The doctor thinks i am suffering postnatal depression as it can occur up to 2 years after birth.
The business being took in reflection was not bad i will and am building another business the part that killed me was the first year of my daughters life was spent building a business for scheming, selfish people. I just wonder if things had been different if i declined her coffee invite when my baby was 6 weeks old...