But i feel like i dont want anyone to visit. My mum keeps wanting her friends to come and see the baby but i dont want anyone here. I lost alot of blood in labour and im still recovering. Everyday since i got home its been either someone coming or a midwife appt that Ive had to go to. Its really starting to make me feel overwelmed. Just want people to leave me alone.. my mum says im being antisocial...
It is overwhelming when you have loads of visitors especially after a traumatic birth.
I would talk to your health visitor about it and maybe try a compromise with your Mum (say a visitor every other day for a short time). I'm not saying don't see anyone because I personally found it too miserable if I did nothing and seeing people helped remind me I was sane and still a person.
New babies are exhausting. Sleep deprivation is a killer.
I had this op with both my dc and I completely understand! I reached the point of wanting to scream and cry out as more and more people were just passing and dropping in without notice! The mil being the worst. My circumstances changed recently which ment I was too busy to see them so it was just tough. They've had to get on with it.
I think you need to tell your mum and if she calls you anti social please know your not its her being selfish. You might upset her but she will recover ;) I have been known to lock doors, turn phones off and ignore the world simply to get some time!
Please stand up for yourself, I had a very traumatic birth also and had very low blood for months after, everyone just kept turning up and taking my baby off me for a cuddle, I basically ended up only holding him to breastfeed then as soon as he was finished he was whipped straight off me again. I didn't feel I was getting time to bond with him and with only getting to first hold him at 4 hours old after all the complications I felt I had already missed out. I didn't say anything for a while but when the novelty wore off I felt much better that my son was 'mine' again, it really does get u down!
My DD is now 9 weeks old & I really, really wish I'd told people to give me space from the beginning. I didn't, and instead endured endless visitors & even went out to visit DPs family members after only 2 days out of hospital. DD was only 4 days old & I was suffering with breathlessness & pain after having DD by section. All I wanted was for me, DD & DP to have time to bond. As I'm formula feeding I also found it took longer to establish a bond. DP was very hands-on in the beginning, which at first I appreciated. But one night I lay in bed & realised it had been 18 hours since I had last held & fed my baby (yes! 18 hours!) From that point onwards I think I went a bit nutty & have since been feeling, like you, very antisocial. Tell your mum you need time to recover & bond with baby & will be happy to arrange a visit from her friends for a week or 2 down the line. I found getting people to agree to a day & time (and then telling them you had somewhere to be at x time) a good way of controlling how long visitors stayed. One couple visits us when DD was 1 week old, brought booze & stayed 4 hours til they'd finished it all!! Good luck And congrats!
How much blood did you lose? Don't underestimate the effect this can have. You may need several iron tablets a day at least.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with retreating into yourself while you get to grips with your newborn and get yourself sorted out. I remember feeling grungy with the bleeding and lack of sleep after dd1's easy birth. I wouldn't have wanted to be on show.
And with my subsequent complicated births I got tough and didn't let myself be railroaded.
Having said all that do keep an eye out that rational desires for privacy don't persist too long. If you still want to hide away at 6 weeks then it could be a warning sign.