PND-Embarassed, labelled, WEAK

(4 Posts)
Iamlosingit Mon 22-Jul-13 21:33:31

Hi , I think I have had PND for 8 mths now and think its getting worse. I love my 3 kids, and have bonded no problems with my DD. My eldest (3yrs old) does my head in with the attitude and tantrums and I feel like I am failing as a mum and must be doing something wrong for him to be like this. I also have it in my head to leave my husband, who is an amazing father and kind handsome man, but as he has seem to forgot I am a person other than just a mum, I think I would be better off without him. As I type this, I cry, because I am sure I am not thinking right and things arent really as bad as they seem to me at the minute. Has anyone tried something else that has worked other than going to the doctors to be labelled as a depressive, and given drugs . I dont want it on my notes, I feel like a failure, I feel weak that I cant control this. I am normally a strong minded successful career person.But this being a full time mum who is resentful of her husbands career and crys at the drop of a hat, is just killing me. I am rambling now... sorry

Karen4007 Mon 22-Jul-13 23:10:15

OMG. I could have written this a few months ago! I did go to my doc and did not want drugs, but they were very supportive and gave me loads of literature to read. It really helped.

I was ready to leave my husband,but I feel fine about him now. I felt great after going to the doc as she made me feel NORMAL! I told her I did not want the HV involved and she respected that.

Please see your doc. Refuse drugs. Maybe even a councillor, though U have to wait a while for the appointment.

It is educated, career minded women that feel most like this because they have to give up job etc. I am sure I will get abuse for writing that but it was in the stats that I received!

I feel great now. Still have hard days especially with 2.5 year old tantrums. I used to happily manage 125 teenagers in my job and 1 toddler is quite frankly harder!

I cried lots, shouted at Dd1 all the time and then cried ad I felt guilty. No drugs and I honestly feel better.

I also read, 'Calmer, Easier, Happier parenting' expecting it to be a load of hippie drival but I have employed some of the techniques.

I also think the desire to leave our men is driven by hormones. In the 'wild' we would not want a man around at the moment as it would mean a possible pregnancy again. I think it is natures way of leaving a gap between our kiddies.

Chin up, please let me know how U get on xx

SpecialJK Wed 07-Aug-13 11:38:46

Hi there. Did you decide to go to the GP in the end? I had PND, started about 3 months after DS's birth. I too didn't want to take AD's, but they are a great help to a lot of people, it can just get you back on an even keel for a while.

I managed to find a great support group where I live, who also had a creche so I got 2 hours baby-free chatting with other women who also were experiencing PND. It really helped to speak to other people who felt the same, and I've made a really good friend from it.

I was really lucky that was available, but have you tried calling someone like House of Light or Pandas foundation? both other phone support and it might be good to talk to someone about how you're feeling.

HoopHopes Mon 12-Aug-13 13:53:18

Hi is it possible for you to return to work and not be a full time mum as whilst you stay at home with 3 young children then circumstances are unlikely to change? If it is the drudgery of housework and childcare that is causing this it may not be even depression but exhaustion of household tasks and lack of stimulation etc? Just a thought.

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