Firstly, i really do not think i have pnd and am generally coping well with my 1mo dd despite being very sleep deprived. I have a very supportive partner, family, friends etc. I have my emotional moments and can feel myself giving my partner a hard time sometimes as someone to take it out on. I feel angry at him as i feel like he comes home from work and gets to fuss over dd then give her back to me at nightime when its time to go to bed. (He really is great and supportive just works a lot of hours).
But the main issue is i keep having awful uncontrollable thoughts, for example, if i am carrying my baby and see a knife i have a vision of hurting her with it, and this morning when i saw a plastic bag i had the same about suffocating her. Its horrible, i would never do these things, never, and im not worried that i would. When i was pregnant i had these thoughts about my bump, but thought they would go awaybut they havent.
My dd is 1 week old and I've been having these thoughts. Took me 3 days to work up the guts to tell dh that I'd thought about pushing her in front of a car while crossing the road. Still feel guilty typing it. But I have had some of these thoughts pre-baby too. Whenever I'm on a motorway I have the urge to open the car door. Dh reckons he sometimes wants to swerve off the road. So you're certainly not alone.
I had a crazy paranoia about childsnatchers with my firstborn and would spend hours in my sleep looking for him in the bed in a panic when I had put him back in his Moses basket. I think it's all part of motherly protectiveness. We see potential dangers and we envisage them. Try and look after yourself more. Ignore the housework. x
Could be a temporary case of OCD! Got OCD and get those kind of very intrusive thoughts at times. Give them no attention at all, and they should go away with some time. Basically its because it's the last thing you'd ever want to do, and so your brain makes you freak out by making you think about it, as a way to show you some anxiety that you've got. Try to do something else when the thoughts come, and give them no power