Why don't I feel overwhelming love for my baby?

(26 Posts)
Girl339 Sat 29-Jun-13 20:20:09

I have a gorgeous little 3 week old baby girl and I look after her as well as I can, make sure she has everything she needs etc. But why don't I feel this overwhelming love and joy all other mothers seem to feel? We had a very traumatic birth leading to her being rushed away to intensive care for a week so I missed those essential bonding days and now I'm terrified I'll never feel the way a mum should.

I'm not coping well, cry all the time and feel really alone as I'm by myself all day every day most of the time. I've ended up shouting at my gorgeous baby a few times and am just really hating being a mum which leaves me feeling so guilty and really sad. I was so looking forward to being a mum and now I'm hating it and feel such a failure.

Does anyone else feel the same? Have I got PND? What have people done to feel better? I don't know what to do.

BangOn Sat 29-Jun-13 23:12:37

This is probably linked to your traumatic labour.

I speak from experience - dd1 v. Traumatic delivery - had pnd. Bonding took years.
Dd2 - wonderful birth - loved her instantly.

Do speak to hcp, see if there are groups, esp for PND you could get to - i found one when dd1 was 8 months old - i think it actually saved me, looking back. Wonderful, nurturing environment, - great therapy, & group of women who were all going through it together. And anti-depressants can work wonders too so don't rule them out if needed.

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