Does this sound like Ante natal depression?

(3 Posts)
firstpost Sat 22-Jun-13 12:38:03

DH away with army until November. This is a "miracle" baby, DS1 born after years of infertility and 3 rounds of IVF. Baby due in early July so nearly there now.

Some worrying signs:-

No excitement at all, just a sense of how difficult its going to be with two children. Sometimes panic, sometimes just a bleak feeling.

No joy at all in the baby preparations. Just flat.

Found myself thinking silly thoughts, giving the baby away to an infertile couple who deserve him more, leaving the baby in the hospital and disappearing. Not plans AT ALL but strange thoughts I don't remember having with DS1.

A disconnect with the baby, no pleasure in kicks etc, no "ohh I cant wait for my snuggly newborn" type feelings at all.

Spend hours wishing the baby could be born in November when DH will be home. So pointless, but I do this a lot.

The problem is my situation, if DH was to suddenly finish his tour early and be home for the baby I think I would feel completely differently. So is this just a perfectly normal reaction to the circumstances around DS2's birth?

Final question, does Ante natal depression (if completely untreated) sometimes resolve itself when the new baby arrives?

hufflebottom Sat 22-Jun-13 12:47:19

go have a chat with ya doc or midwife. i felt a bit like this but had dp at home, but had a chat with midwife and met up with other mums to be and we all had each other to support one another.

i can't begin to imagine what it's like i've never had the other half away, but i wish you and your dh all the best and that he's home safely.

It sounds very like ante-natal depression. I was just the same when pregnant with my second child and we were in difficult circumstances too (although nowhere near yours). Have you mentioned it to your midwife? It's nothing to be ashamed of and she might be able to point you towards some extra help. Do you have family or friends who can help out?

As for resolving itself, I still felt fairly flat for a couple of weeks after DS was born. I was fond of him but taking care of him was very mechanical. Then one day I read about a baby the same age who had died and suddenly I couldn't imagine life without him and felt a huge surge of love. We've been fine ever since (despite my second bout of PND).

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