DD is 9 weeks old and, if I'm being honest, I'm not coping. I also have 2.5 year old DS. I've been seeing peri-natal psych team from early in this pregnancy as I was struggling with AND, & had PND after DS was born.
For the last few weeks I've been lying when my CPN came, persuaded myself & her that I was ok. Today, I just couldn't do it. Spent a good hour in tears when she came. She thinks I should agree to be admitted to the mother-and-baby unit. I just don't know what to think or do. I seem to be incapable of properly thinking about anything at the mo. All I know is I can't stand the thought of being away from DS. We're fairly rural, and my in-laws even moreso, assuming they'd look after him, so they're about 1.5 hours away from the hospital, we're about an hour.
I just can't be away from him. As awful as it sounds (& I'm crying while typing this), I would be fine with leaving DD, she's too young to know any better, but DS has been v clingy.
I guess I'm just looking for opinions, advice or experience really. I just can't think straight.
You have not failed. You can't help your feeling, that's true.. but that's okay. I also feel sure you have made the right decision to help yourself and your family. I hope your stay is a short one that is as pleasant as it can be. Will be thinking of you x
Oh you poor love, it sounds like you're having one hell of a time. All the things you are thinking - about being a crap mum, failing your kids etc., are a symptom of your depression: they are not the truth.
I bet you wouldn't feel guilty if you had something 'physical' like a heart problem and needed to be hospitalised for that. There's still so much stigma attached to MH issues, and so much of it is internalised by us
I really hope you're doing OK in the M and B unit - I nearly went to one but was talked out of it by CPN and CMH team. Three months later, I was feeling so much better. There's light at the end of the tunnel, it might just take a while until you see it. Keep posting on here if you can. It saved my sanity during my really bleak period.