Am I ill?(20 Posts)
I don't know where to start.
Ok. I feel physically and emotionally exhausted. I feel like I can't see the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I am not enjoying my mat leave at all but I feel guilty considering going back to work.
DD is 6 months next week. She has silent reflux. She goes down to sleep at night really well but either wakes frequently screaming or screams in her sleep and we have to wake her to stop the screaming. She is in pain from the reflux. She won't nap during the day unless moving - pram, sling, car seat, birth ball. She wants to be held all the time for comfort. If she has a bad attack she screams continuously - a normal day 3/4 hours, a bad day 7/8 hours, the worst day 10 and half hours. I do everything to the sound of screaming - shower, food, toilet, etc.
It's been like this for months. It isn't getting better yet. It may be 12-18 months. I go to a group every day but I usually end up coming home crying as the other mums are so shocked. I must've walked and driven miles so the screaming would stop and she would sleep.
I have a supportive DH and family help out too. I have a cleaner. Many friends, though, have had enough. The only solution now being touted is CC.
Am I depressed?
Oh you poor thing. This sounds horrific and you have my utmost sympathy. I've not had a baby with reflux but several of my friends have and it can be awful. Is your daughter under the care of a paediatrician? If so, when was she last seen and what treatment is she getting? If you do have a paediatrician then I'd suggest asking for another appointment.If she's not, then I think you need to push for a paediatric referral from your GP ASAP as clearly this can't go on. I don't know an awful lot about reflux itself but I'm sure you'll get loads of replies from people far more qualified than me. I think that anyone who is exhausted, sleep deprived and has an unwell screaming baby, is going to feel desperately low. I wish I could offer more advice. Best of luck! One thing though, have you tried elevating the end of her cot on a couple of large books to about 30 degrees? This may help a little. Here are some virtual flowers for you as I think you deserve them
What a terrible time you're having - what a shame. My DS's severe reflux has driven me to the edge of my coping skills at times. I used to feel like I was losing it, so I can really sympathise. It really wears you down.
Firstly, it sounds like the reflux is not being adequately managed. I would insist on a referral to a paediatric consultant gastroenterologist. It often takes a few tries at different combinations of medicine - my DS has been on Gaviscon (only helps mild cases), Omeprazole & Domperidone. Medication needs to be increased as weight increases.
Also a low allergy/milk free diet & formula should be considered too.
I would think that getting your child's reflux under control will help you tremendously.
My DS finally outgrew it at 3.5 years, he still has the odd episode now when unwell.
It's really hard going.
I hope you can get some help soon.
Thank you for the flowers! At least these ones don't wilt when you forget to water them
We are waiting...and waiting...for the paediatric appt. My HV is pushing them for an appt as soon as possible. HV has been fab. She either pops in or phones every week to see how we are. The GPs have been hit and miss. In 8 days in February, I saw 6 GPs to beg for help.
The cot is tilted. We have tried everything suggested for reflux. DH had similar problems as a baby, as did MIL. She thinks it's karma for him being such a challenge. That's fine but what about me? I was an angelic baby
The GP has arranged for me to have a psychological assessment on Monday. She thinks I have post natal anxiety. I've never heard of it.
Ps don't even consider controlled crying in a reflux baby (days she who did & spent nights cleaning pools of vomit). Your daughter's issue isn't that she can't self-settle, it's that she's in pain from reflux.
I did try pick up / put down & had much more success with that.
Cheese, she is on Ranitidine for the reflux. The HV weighs her frequently so the GP can check the dose. It's currently 0.9ml x3 daily. I know that's not the max dose for her weight. And, it's hard to quantify how much she actually ingests. She hates the syringe and tries to spit out the meds.
We have tried SMA Staydown for Reflux formula but it made her so constipated we had to add 2x 2.5ml Lactulose. She did stop vomiting on it. We are now back on Aptamil but the vomiting has returned.
We are trying solids but she just isn't interested. I wonder if she thinks the spoon is a syringe? I've just loaded it and left it on her tray. She has had some as it has been vomited up.
I have issues with CC anyway I wouldn't do it despite the pressure from friends.
I'm getting the impression they think I am imagining this. It can't be that bad. It's making me a wee bit paranoid Not so good.
No! You have a sick baby!
You must get your baby's condition managed more adequately - I am so cross on your behalf.
As the poster above has said you can start on infant gaviscon or Carobel. These both act as milk thickeners and keep the milk in the stomach preventing my acid washing back up.
My DD is on ranitidine and domperidone. Ranitidine is an inhibitor which prevents stomach acid being produced. Domperidone pushes the food through the gut faster. You can also get omeprazole as the poster above said. My DD also has a cow's milk protein intolerance.
We ended up in hospital with her at 4 weeks old from just one day of he constant screaming. Thankfully our GP and then subsequent consultants took the whole thing very seriously. Serious long term damage can be done if it's not treated.
Go back to the GP and demand a referral. Your mental health is not what they need to treat.
I really hope that you can get some resolution to this - you sound like you have done a simply amazing job so far. You deserve some better support
Oh! And I was going to say what cheese has already said. CC is the worst possible thing for a reflux baby as crying washes the acid up into the throat.
You sound like you're doing well managing to get out every day with a screamer. My DD1 had colic and screaming used to start at 4.00pm and last until around 9.00p.m. then some more screaming in the night for good measure. It is just shit and so hard to cope with. I would almost be screaming back at her.
Have you started weaning yet? It can help some pukers when they start eating solids.
I remember going to baby groups and looking at all the other peaceful babies and feeling naffed off. And one of the other mums saying to me "don't you just love being a mum" and me thinking, er, no, this is crap.
Hope you get some sense out of the docs and that things settle down for you soon.
star she should be on a much higher dose of ranitidine. My DD is 12Ib and is on 1ml x 3 daily. Why so low?
It does sound as though you are being fobbed off. You are not making it up or imagining it. Like I said we had one day and the GP sent us straight to hospital because she was crying so hard.
Our dietician explained to me recently that reflux babies can be hard to wean due to poor associations with food.
Reflux babies can be notoriously disinterested in food. I think they associate it with pain & discomfort. Set your expectations low!
Could you phone the Paediatrician's secretary & ask to be put on the cancellation list? Secretaries can often help, if you explain & ask nicely.
Or perhaps your GP would be willing to phone the consultant & ask for advice pending an appointment? My GP did that until DS could be seen. Gp's often don't have enough experience to do complex reflux medication management.
The maximum dose of medication did help DS - lesser doses were ineffective. He eventually ended up on Omeprazole 20mg (an adult dose) & Domperidone x 4 daily. We had also experimented with various formula types.
I used to try & get the syringes in from the side, rather than face-on - he seemed to find it less threatening I think. We used to mix Omeprazole granules into fruit purée or yoghurts.
I only managed to get it up to 0.9ml x3 this month - that is double what it was before. I have videoed her on my phone and the GP just nodded - yes, that is silent reflux.
HV promised we would hear this week from paediatrics. Roll on tomorrow.
We had some luck singing with the syringes. She loves music so that made her smile all the way through the dose My aunt came up with it.
Singing is genius! We have ended up mixing my DD's meds with a tiny bit of milk and giving her it by bottle. She is a master at holding things in her mouth for ages then letting it slowly dribble out.
I found a chart somewhere online which gave the dosage per kilo for ranitidine. If you were feeling brave you could try upping it yourself if you don't get any joy with the medics. I have done this temporarily as I find the inoculations really make by baby's reflux flare badly but the doc isn't convinced. A upped it a small amount over a few days ten gradually decreased it back to the original dose. Just enough to work out what keeps her symptom free
Got the paediatric appt through today.
3rd of April. FFS!
Grrr! Get in touch with the clinic / secretary and say you really really need an earlier appointment. Tell them it's really urgent and that you're at your wits end. I know that doctors secretaries and receptionists often have dragon-like reputations but in my experience if you're nice to them and tell them how desperate things are then they can be wonderful. If you get no joy then I'd go back to your GP and ask them for an urgent referral. Maybe even take someone with you who can act as a 'third party' to confirm just how bad things are. Best of luck!
I phoned. If there is a cancellation she will phone me.
Fingers crossed for you star
Well done Star. I really hope you get an appointment ASAP. Keeping my fingers crossed. Another thought: you sound like a lovely hands on Mum and you say you have a lot of support: would it be possible to arrange it so that you can have a 'day off' here and there? I really think it would do you a lot of good just to have that time to clear your head so you could come back to the situation a little refreshed
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