Hi, I am 21 weeks with my second child and i am struggling with very low moods and bouts of crying and a feeling of dread for when this baby arrives..I am annoyed with myself that I didn't take more time to think about my second with all the hard time I suffered with my first, she is now 4.5 I had a terrible labour and PND I have only just started to feel normal in the last year and a half - only took antidepressants with her for 3 months. I am currently having counseling but don't feel this is helping my anxiety or fears of the second. I feel like I am going crazy - every keeps saying I will be fine but they don't know this and I don't feel I can feel fine after this low period...I am at my wits end with worry. Any advice?? Thanks
Big hugs to you. I've walked in your shoes and its not a good place. The 2nd time round might not be as bad. Have you got a different birth plan? Tell you midwife and doc how you feel they will understand and set a plan in place. Good luck
Me, completely and totally four years ago. Same kind of hideous first birth, undiagnosed PND for three years, took me six years to prepare for a second birth. Then immediately got AND as soon as I was pregnant the second time.
What helped me was a fantastic counsellor but she only saw me every three weeks or so, soi would feel brilliant for a day then shit again. I was seeing a consultant for a thyroid condition and in the end I begged him for a c-section and he agreed because the AND and fear was so consuming. That helped towards the end.
I feel SO sorry for you, genuinely, because I know how you feel. All. Can say is I am sitting here with a gorgeous child upstairs because I (somehow) managed to get through that nine months.
I think the fear of the birth thing caused my anxiety, would you consider a c-section? It was so the right decision for me, I wish so much that I had thought about asking for it sooner. Please please PM me if you like, I can vividly remember being completely despairing about being pregnant, and no one bloody understood!! People would ask me how I was feeling and if I was excited about the baby and I used to say 'No, am dreading it, I don't want another baby, I has being pregnant' awful to say now but that's how I felt!!!!!
I was given anti-depressants in 2nd pregnancy for anxiety and depression. It helped loads. I was weaned off towards the end of pregnancy but the doctor gave me a supply to take if after the birth so if I needed to I could take them again. Also due to a traumatic birth with DS I asked for an elective c-section. This really helped me with DDs birth. Your midwives are there to help hun, ask them
Thank you so much ladies for your positive responses and advice will certainly be requesting a c-section hopefully they will not try talk me out of it! Its good to know people get through it on the other side.
I hope you are starting to feel a bit calmer. This is my first post, but I wanted to share my experience with you because I thought I was the only person in the world going through this! I had 2 good pregnancies and then with my 3rd I just became uncontrollable from 36 weeks. I felt like it was out of the blue, but looking back I can see that I never "embraced" the pregnancy and certainly had negative thoughts about the whole thing even though it was totally planned. At 36 weeks I developed panic attacks and anxiety - mainly at night time - so I was averaging about 3 hours sleep a night in 30 minute bursts. I would drop off to sleep and then wake up suddenly in a huge panic and have to pace around the house. IT then started that I couldn't sit still even in the day time - I couldn't even play with my kids or watch TV (The doctor called it akathesia (sp?)) At 37 weeks I didn't know what I was talking about - I can't even remember what was happening - but I told DH I was goign to kill myself. Fortunately he rushed me to the doctor there and then and I had an emergency c-section. I was terrible for a few weeks after delivery (in fact they had to restrain me straight after the op because I was trying to get up and pace about) and am SO SAD that I don't remember those precious first moments.
However, with some good and proper medication and support I can say that I am 80% back to my "normal" self. (baby is now 8 months old)
I want to assure you that these feelings of despair WILL pass. I NEVER believed I would have any quality of life back - I was convinced the doctors were going to throw me in an institution and leave me there.
Please PM me if you feel it would help. I think if I had planned my c-section then I would have been a lot calmer about things. I'd also like ot hear from any other mums with similar symptoms x