PND with first and now AND with second???

[pixxiebell]

Hi, I am 21 weeks with my second child and i am struggling with very low moods and bouts of crying and a feeling of dread for when this baby arrives..I am annoyed with myself that I didn't take more time to think about my second with all the hard time I suffered with my first, she is now 4.5 I had a terrible labour and PND I have only just started to feel normal in the last year and a half - only took antidepressants with her for 3 months. I am currently having counseling but don't feel this is helping my anxiety or fears of the second. I feel like I am going crazy - every keeps saying I will be fine but they don't know this and I don't feel I can feel fine after this low period...I am at my wits end with worry. Any advice??
Thanks

[addictedtolatte]

Big hugs to you. I've walked in your shoes and its not a good place. The 2nd time round might not be as bad. Have you got a different birth plan? Tell you midwife and doc how you feel they will understand and set a plan in place. Good luck

[CheckpointCharlie]

Me, completely and totally four years ago. Same kind of hideous first birth, undiagnosed PND for three years, took me six years to prepare for a second birth. Then immediately got AND as soon as I was pregnant the second time.

What helped me was a fantastic counsellor but she only saw me every three weeks or so, soi would feel brilliant for a day then shit again.
I was seeing a consultant for a thyroid condition and in the end I begged him for a c-section and he agreed because the AND and fear was so consuming. That helped towards the end.

I feel SO sorry for you, genuinely, because I know how you feel. All. Can say is I am sitting here with a gorgeous child upstairs because I (somehow) managed to get through that nine months.

I think the fear of the birth thing caused my anxiety, would you consider a c-section? It was so the right decision for me, I wish so much that I had thought about asking for it sooner.
Please please PM me if you like, I can vividly remember being completely despairing about being pregnant, and no one bloody understood!! People would ask me how I was feeling and if I was excited about the baby and I used to say 'No, am dreading it, I don't want another baby, I has being pregnant' awful to say now but that's how I felt!!!!!


((((((((HUG)))))))))

[MalibuStac]

I was given anti-depressants in 2nd pregnancy for anxiety and depression. It helped loads. I was weaned off towards the end of pregnancy but the doctor gave me a supply to take if after the birth so if I needed to I could take them again. Also due to a traumatic birth with DS I asked for an elective c-section. This really helped me with DDs birth. Your midwives are there to help hun, ask them

[pixxiebell]

Thank you so much ladies for your positive responses and advice will certainly be requesting a c-section hopefully they will not try talk me out of it! Its good to know people get through it on the other side.

x

[sgbaby]

hi pixxiebell

I hope you are starting to feel a bit calmer. This is my first post, but I wanted to share my experience with you because I thought I was the only person in the world going through this! I had 2 good pregnancies and then with my 3rd I just became uncontrollable from 36 weeks. I felt like it was out of the blue, but looking back I can see that I never "embraced" the pregnancy and certainly had negative thoughts about the whole thing even though it was totally planned.
At 36 weeks I developed panic attacks and anxiety - mainly at night time - so I was averaging about 3 hours sleep a night in 30 minute bursts. I would drop off to sleep and then wake up suddenly in a huge panic and have to pace around the house. IT then started that I couldn't sit still even in the day time - I couldn't even play with my kids or watch TV (The doctor called it akathesia (sp?)) At 37 weeks I didn't know what I was talking about - I can't even remember what was happening - but I told DH I was goign to kill myself. Fortunately he rushed me to the doctor there and then and I had an emergency c-section. I was terrible for a few weeks after delivery (in fact they had to restrain me straight after the op because I was trying to get up and pace about) and am SO SAD that I don't remember those precious first moments.

However, with some good and proper medication and support I can say that I am 80% back to my "normal" self. (baby is now 8 months old)

I want to assure you that these feelings of despair WILL pass. I NEVER believed I would have any quality of life back - I was convinced the doctors were going to throw me in an institution and leave me there.

Please PM me if you feel it would help. I think if I had planned my c-section then I would have been a lot calmer about things. I'd also like ot hear from any other mums with similar symptoms x

thinking of you x

[Winetime1981]

How are you OP?