Rage......am I alone?

(6 Posts)
macromama Sat 08-Dec-12 11:34:14

Hi, I have a 1 year old girl and my periods have just resumed. I feel like some days I am going crazy. I go through phases of insomnia and if I dont get enough sleep I almost lose control and feel like my head will explode. I have to scream and kick something to let it out. I feel so angry at everyone and just have to lock myself in a room and explode. I want to cry but I rarely can. I just need to scream. I throw stuff and smash things. It's awful but I have to let it out. I would NEVER hurt my baby or do this to her. I go somewhere where she can't see but I know she is picking up on this. Do I have postnatal depression? Some days I feel really fine. But some days I can't think straight, make any decisions, do anything complicated. I feel like I can't cope with the simplest of tasks. I've had sleep deprivation since the start. To hear from others feeling like this would really help. Is this a normal reaction to motherhood? My partner is supportive but I don't have any family nearby. We are on our own.

fourbears Sat 08-Dec-12 11:45:11

I had PND and the biggest feature of mine was anger. I didn't cry. Just explode at everyone (not the baby) verbally and then go out for a drive to calm down. Mine was made worse by not having enough sleep. It's not what most people think of as PND but anger and irritation are on the list of symptoms, so yes, you may have PND, or you might just need nights and nights of good unbroken sleep. I'd go and see your GP. Take care of yourself x

macromama Sat 08-Dec-12 11:52:03

Thank you for your reply. I'm so scared of seeing my GP about any mental health issues. The less they know the better now I've had my baby. THat's how I feel!

macromama Sat 08-Dec-12 11:54:12

PS how did you cure yours?

fourbears Sat 08-Dec-12 12:51:22

Please don't be worried about seeing your GP. There is no way they would get SS involved (I assume that's what you mean, sorry if I'm wrong) for a case of straightforward PND. They wouldn't have nearly enough staff for a start. PND is very common, just not spoken about that much. Your GP will put your mind at rest I'm sure.

I took anti-depressants. The dose had to be upped a couple of times but they made a world of difference to me. I also found a childminder for DD at 13months because I needed the break and also she needed to get out and about and mix with other children, as another effect of the depression was me shutting myself away. My DH also took over nighttime for a while so I could get some sleep.

The GP or Health Visitor can do a questionnaire and will talk to you to diagnose. There are lots of options for anti-ds depending on your symptoms. They are not addictive. I came of mine easily when the time was right. There are also talking therapies which you can with or without tablets. There's lots of help out there.

Shelium Sat 08-Dec-12 12:55:28

Are you on the pill? After the birth of my first child I suffered MASSIVELY with the pill, and changed fairly regularly to try and find one that suited me.

Rage/Anger, especially towards my daughter (obviously i hid it) and partner (not always hidden!) was a feature of some pills i was on. Acne was another, as was fatigue and inability to absorb various vitamins and minerals.

I never found a pill to suit, after 4 years of trying, and am now pg smile

I expected pregnancy hormones to be as bad as some of the pills I was on, but thankfully I'm fairly stable and unspotty.

I am not dismissing that you could have PND, but bear in mind there could be other causes for your feelings.

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