Apologies for the flippant title- am not trying to make light of anything, just trying to put into as few words as possible the basics of my problem.
I currently have 2 DS's- a 22mo and a 4mo. After birth of 2nd DS I was diagnosed with having PND by the midwives... It was not a diagnosis I was happy with, at the time I felt I was just struggling physically from the birth (very, very anaemic) and emotionaly wiped out by lack of sleep whilst dealing with a small toddler as well. I argued with my husband a lot as he was working full time AND studying for an Open University degree in the evenings, so for the last 4 months I have effectively been single parenting, and it was him who highlighted my 'irrational' behaviour to the midwives and first mentioned PND as an idea. I was given AD's which I took for the first month, but I then stopped taking them (against any medical advice) as I felt "better" and didn't think I needed them. Plus, I am an awful person for just thinking I need to 'pull myself together' and 'just get on with it' and not allow myself any time to consider how I'm really feeling underneath it all.
Anyway, to cut a long story short(er), in the last 3 months I have not been taking AD's I have found that every time I get my period I am totally wiped out with a wave of gloom, I can't be bothered to eat, I am almost permanently in tears (or feeling like I am just holding them back), and I just find dealing with 2 small children and their constant demands is almost too much for me. It lasts for approximately 4 days, and then slowly it fades away and by the following week I've forgotten all about it. But the following month it comes back, a little stronger, a little more debilitating. I've never suffered with any sort of PMT before in all my life, so I am unsure if its just crazy post pregnancy hormones that will settle down once my periods go back to normal in a month or two, or if its a sign of something more serious like PND. Can you even get that sporadically like I am describing??
I am so bloody stubborn I won't listen to my husband when he (very gently and kindly) suggests that's what it might be, and I admit I'm almost scared that if I talk to a dr I will get 'labelled' and be chucked back on AD's against my will like last time, and no 'real' help will be forthcoming anyway so I may as well just grin and bear it cos there are 2 kids demanding my time so I don't have the luxury of wallowing in these feelings. But then on the other hand this nagging voice at the back of my head says this is a bit of an extreme reaction to a period and I should be listening to those who know me best, as if it is PND am I in a fit state of mind to even judge myself??
Am so confused. Has anyone got any experience of this, or can give me a kick up the bum to go say all this to a doctor and just accept the outcome?! Much appreciated.
Hello. Just a really quick one I'm afraid but I didn't want to read and run. I might be way off, but have you had your iron levels checked again since the anaemia? I've read that low iron can cause you to be depressed, so my first suggestion would be to go to Dr and get levels checked. Be as honest as you can with the Dr-I'd tell them you don't feel you want the ads yet so check things like iron and maybe thyroid function first to see if there's another fix. Then though, I have to tell you, I love ads. I took Citalopram after the birth of my little boy and it revolutionised how I felt in only two or three weeks-as you found with your short course. Trouble is, you do need to stay on them long enough for your serotonin to catch back up with itself-they usually recommend at least 6 months-so you may have got straight then un-straight again when you stopped. If its iron levels then you can hopefully sort it out that way. But if not, I would heartily recommend a slightly longer course of the ads-don't waste any more of your already precious time feeling crappy! xx