Struggling

(6 Posts)
constantlyjittery Thu 13-Sep-12 18:35:15

I have the most gorgeous baby - she is six months, smiley and animated and just amazing. But I feel like I can't enjoy my time with her because I am so stressed about other things - money (husband in debt and paying it back so always skint by second week or month, me self employed and having to do bits of work to get by but chasing payments constantly and always worrying). I am breastfeeding and she's not sleeping through the night yet. I haven't had more than a four hour stretch of sleep in the last six months. I am knackered. And I just keep breaking down and crying when I should be looking after my baby. I love being a mum and I love her so much but I cannot seem to relax and enjoy myself because I'm always fretting. Worrying that we won't have enough money to provide for her and scared that I am somehow doing it wrong. I keep making stupid mistakes - she fell off the bed this morning because I turned my back for two seconds. She's fine but I feel terrible about it. I basically feel like I can't do this -be a decent mum, I mean. I don't think I am depressed but wasn't sure which other topic to put this in. I suppose I would just like to hear if anyone feels like this and whether it gets better!

BigRedCheeks Thu 13-Sep-12 19:00:02

You are a wonderful mum!! The very fact that your baby is so happy is all because of you. Don't worry about the bed thing, accidents happen and you really are not the only one. Hormones wreak havoc for us mums in the first year, you are coping and you will be ok. Babies only need their family, not stuff. Education and all that malarky doesn't need paying for until much later. Sleep is a bit tricky but can your DH not help you catch up at the weekend? I am also bfing and baby almost 6 months, sleepmis precious i think about it constantly! It will start to get easier I promise you. thanks for making your baby so happy

constantlyjittery Thu 13-Sep-12 19:16:31

Thank you - that's just made me cry! In a good way. Definitely hormones.....

BigRedCheeks Thu 13-Sep-12 22:34:40

Bless you, you are not alone!! My baby is my third and I still doubt myself, the only real difference this time is I have learnt to just stop and enjoy the moments because it goes too quickly. Keep doing what you are doing, you will make it all work out.

aflycup Fri 14-Sep-12 07:31:18

7 week old dd, bfing, dd came early and had traumatic birth and 11 days in hospital for infection. DH struggling that I am not who I was ie I'd rather sleep than be intimate. Feel sad that I can't physically care for DH as much as I'd like to. Don't feel like I've bonded incredibly well with DD, feel this is down to bad start we had - wasn't allowed to hold her for 2 days and she was transferred to a different hospital 24 hours after birth and I wasn't allowed to go (emsc). Very limited family/friends support as isolated physically. DH new job starts next month but need to sell and buy house on top of that. Would really like to talk to someone who can understand all this, be sympathetic and actually care! Any suggestions for who/where I could go to for help? I am coping and DD is absolutely fine but not sure I can carry all the emotional baggage for the next few months without my head getting more messed up.

constantlyjittery Fri 14-Sep-12 11:24:19

aflycup...You poor thing...it sounds like you have far too much on your plate. Could you speak to your hv at all? Can't offer much help as I'm also finding things tough. But can you delay your house move? We were planning on moving but it was gonna push me over the edge so I asked DH to delay.

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