I know this is an old thread but THANK YOU everyone. I have a history of mild depression, and got pretty weepy around weeks 8-12, and then felt bad about crying. Then just as I was getting to second trimester I got a horrendous cold and felt tired and weepy all over again - as you say, just when everyone starts saying "oh, you'll be blooming!". I just said to people, "Blooming awful, actually" which shut them up! DON'T feel like you're a wimp, and DO be honest about how you feel. My DH is very good at monitoring my moods and picking up on my depression, which obviously helps, but most importantly he supported me in being honest about how I feel, as being tired makes me worse and of course I'm always tired at the minute! I'm now 19 weeks and doing better, but I'm being really careful and if I need help we will be asking for it right away. Thank you all for making me feel less like I'm alone in feeling like this.
I think the tablets might not be all that strong but settle my mind too. Do u have Much of a support network where you are? Where are you in the country If you don't mind me asking? I so agree about the sanitary towel advert I Couldn't have put it better. You should defo see your GP, and MAKE them Help. I still feel awful but I know someone gets it now x
Thanks LittlePoot and Pickles77 - it really does make me feel better to read your posts. I think you're right about feeling like a failure or under pressure to 'enjoy' your pregnancy, especially in the second trimester. I absolutely know it'll be worth it when the little razzoo arrives, but feeling depressed is just the pits. I've taken antidepressants so many times in the more distant past but not had to for the last 5 years and it's so demoralising getting those old feelings of worthlessness and pointlessness back when I thought I'd finally kicked them. And the feeling like I'm failing to make the most of my last ever months as a non-mother is a big source of guilt. If the general message was 'being pregnant's horrible but it's ace when you've got a baby', maybe I'd feel a bit more forgiving of myself now, but especially during the 2nd trimester the impression you get is that it's going to be like one of those sanitary towel ads where you're rollerblading in the sunshine, laughing your head off with your friends and having a great time enjoying your fabulous blooming body. Still, it genuinely does make me feel better to know I can post on here and hear about other people's problems. Hope you gave the doctor hell Pickles and I'm sure not being able to hold it together will only have strengthened your message to the doc that you need some help. And I didn't know there were safe antidepressants - that is definitely worth investigating. Thanks lovely ladies. xx
Ok you two-I didn't get AND but did get a pretty nasty bout of PND so have some idea where you're coming from. But I can hear something from both of you which resonates with me and that is that you both seem to feel you should be enjoying this and you're in danger of feeling extra guilty because you're not. Blooming? That's a myth! Well if you post this on a pregnancy forum maybe people might tell you they bloom. But frankly, all I felt in the second trimester was a bit less tired for a while. Please don't let thoughts of what you SHOULD be feeling or SHOULD be doing add to how bad you feel right now. All you really should be doing is working out the best way to get through this difficult period because the one thing I can guarantee is that it will get better. Maybe while you're pregnant, maybe after the birth, maybe a few weeks or months into new motherhood. But it will. The only good thing about pregnancy related depression is that it does always get better and is much more responsive to treatment than the non pregnancy kind. Rosie-speak to another Dr if you need to, because there are some ads ok to take in pregnancy. And through breast feeding if you go that way. But please don't feel bad for feeling bad. You don't deserve this, you didn't ask for this and it really is an illness. If you had bronchitis, you would go get it treated and wouldn't feel like you ought to be out enjoying exercising your lungs. This is the same. But your head is ill. I Wish there was something more I could do to help because I remember how just plain awful I felt with PND. But I really am better now and really do love the little person I got out of it! You will too eventually so just hang on in there. xxxx
Rosie you feel how I feel, I have bad circumstances too which aren't helping. Im going to see my GP later as things are on a major slide. MW made me feel like a bit of a burden so I'll be demanding in the docs although I don't think I'll hold it together. I want to enjoy my pregnancy as much as I can as it's my first and I need help to do that. I really think there should be more help available to support women's health during pregnancy, the only help I really use is mumsnet, so valuable. I don't know if your like me but I'm a very put a brave face on it person and mumsnet means I can take down my barriers and be honest. Pickles <hugs> xx
I feel pretty miserable - cry most days, don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Feel so tired and useless. I'm only 17 weeks pregnant and this is supposed to be the blooming phase which is a joke. I have a long history of depression and think this is probably antenatal depression. Went to the doc a couple of weeks ago and there was pretty much nothing she could do. You can't take antidepressants and there's no funding for therapy. Midwives are useless. I do feel better when I can talk to someone about how I feel - but most people don't want to hear about not enjoying pregnancy. People with kids just say, oh it's so worth it, people with none think why did you get pregnant then? Anyway, sorry for this relentlessly miserable post - what I would find helpful is to be able to talk to other women who feel the same way and to know I'm not alone - there seems to be vey little on the internet about antenatal depression. I assume I just have to sit it out and that it's hormonal. It's really tough though, so you have my sympathy. Rosie
Can someone with experience of AND give Me the symptoms? I'm not sure if I'm just generally depressed or have AND. I'm very up and down and have no support network really to speak to about it. Just Mumsnet I'm going to attempt to speak to my midwife about it when I finally get hold of her!