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November 2014- thread 4- 12 week scans and blooming in the second trimester!

(1000 Posts)
barmybunting Sun 27-Apr-14 12:04:55

Hi everyone, we have run out of posts on our last thread so hopefully we'll all find this one easily enough.

Here is to more positive 12 week scans and enjoying our second trimesters, all feeling more human hopefully!

alex7149 Sun 27-Apr-14 12:09:04

Heya smile

Venus in reply to your message on the other thread I am also short of breath and have been since early on. It's to do with the baby needing you to take in extra oxygen apparently and probably isn't helped by my blocked up nose which started quite early (although what I thought was hay fever looks like a sinus infection today -.- TMI- blew my nose and out came brown snot and blood).

I love wearing bump hugging tops, but still haven't told everyone as want to tell the kids first, so getting grumpy when I have to cover up :P

itsjustthursday Sun 27-Apr-14 12:25:52

Thanks barmy! I genuinely went 'noooo!' when I reached the end and it said the thread wasn't accepting more messages... blush Silly lady...

Tigsy The Pushchairs board is here and the Pushchairs reviews section is here. I agree with Anna, it's easier to search for specific names and get the reviews. However if you have no idea where to start then have a look at the Mumsnet Best in the reviews section (they'll be right at the top), they're the ones people have left the most positive reviews for and it helps to get a feel for what makes most people call a pushchair good! I did that when I was starting out, to try and get my head around things, and it did help. I agree though, the site is massive and overwhelming! I spent my first year reading only AIBU and the information pages grin

Loaf shock Ok I'm not going to Homerton but... it was an option... (eek! I'm identifying myself!) Homerton is very good and my postpartum care will be done by Homerton MWs. Realistically I should probably go there, as it's close to me, but I am too attached to the last hospital I gave birth in, it was too good for me not to go back!

Venus I also get out of breath at this stage. But if it's any reassurance, it might pass. Last time around I had the same - first tri I was out of breath, easily light headed, weaker. Then in 2nd and 3rd tri I was back to some semblance of normality, went hill walking and up and down the stairs and walking for miles everywhere with no problems. So I'm hoping it's the same this time and that at some point within the next few weeks things will start to calm down and I won't feel so old!

WinterLover Sun 27-Apr-14 12:33:03

can't believe we're on thread 4 already! !

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 13:19:33

Well that's it, I am officially in the wheelchair. After pushing it with too much walking Friday and then trying to keep up with DD yesterday I've been in bed since and in a lot of pain. It is not worth pushing it anymore and even round the house (downstairs) I'm in the chair now and if I need to go out anywhere I'm taking the chair, I'm not crippling myself for pride now. I'm going to hire a mobility scooter this week to make it even easier out and about, that's me done now. I don't mind really, would rather be in the chair and still getting about than sitting in not being able to go anywhere.

Weirdly the sore boobs and sickness has come back and I'm hungrier again now after a break for a couple of weeks. I am horribly out of breath all the time - I feel like a 90 year old who smokes 40 a day when it's the one time I'm not bloody smoking dammit! No fair! I was convinced it was a boy but now leaning more towards girl so I haven't a clue. Definitely doing a dating scan in a few weeks!!

Still really annoyed/upset by the postman's comments yesterday. It's had time to fester and sink in and realise all the implications and I am really really cross about it. Can not believe that someone who barely knows me can judge me to be that kind of person like that, and say it to my face! Why do people always have the worst impression of me?? I'm nice, kind, moral, good, intelligent, loyal, loving, I'm not some teenage slapper sponging chav, I'm bloody 37 years old, I'm not going into the ins and outs of my lifestyle but I definitely tick the middle class ok yah boxes. Who the hell does he think he is?? Not even my midwife has the right to ask me personal questions like that and if she did I'd be getting a new midwife - even my close friends, family and colleagues haven't dared ask or been so bloody rude about it. Last time I give him a Christmas bonus!

alex7149 Sun 27-Apr-14 13:28:35

Random I wouldn't worry- people are judgemental of any situation that they don't understand or is outside the realms of normality for them. The fact that you're managing fine as a single mum to dd doesn't seem make them realise that you'll be perfectly fine with a newborn too!
I think their concern is probably that the baby won't have a father- but how do they know that you don't have a secret boyfriend who doesn't live with you, not that you need one, plenty of men abandon children and they turn out ok, apart from abandonment issues- your child won't have that. I'm sure they will get a good male role model from your Dad and other male friends and family.
I try my best to be open minded to any situation in which no one is deliberately hurt, I don't see why other people have to care so much about things which don't affect them at all!

Northernexile Sun 27-Apr-14 13:30:06

Just want to echo what thursday is saying about a return of energy levels in the second and third trimester- I am short of breath and knackered at the moment, but I do remember it getting better. I did a 5 mile hike up a mountain on my due date last time in the hope it would get things moving (it didn't), and I felt great throughout most of the second/third trimester.

I have a feeling this one will also be a girl. Maybe because that's all I know I suppose. Tempted to find out this time, but will probably hold out for a surprise again.

I really feel for you random, SPD sounds a bitch! Hope it eases off for you.

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 13:41:41

See the whole male role model thing - I do not know a single man who I think would be a good role model for a child. Not one man who is how I picture a real man to be - strong, kind, protective, provider, intelligent, loving husband, good father, truly believes in equality, selfless, confident, pulls his weight round the house, doesn't lie, cheat, sponge, get in fights, isn't arrogant, isn't either chauvinistic or a complete wuss and pushover, loves his mum but isn't a mummy's boy... I'm sure those men must exist somewhere but I've not known any, whether it's my Dad, ex husband, grandfather, male friends, none of them are who I would want influencing my child on what it means to be a man. I don't think there is anything a man could teach my son that I couldn't - whether it's shaving, sex or puberty or how to wear a tie, or whether it's how to treat women, get on in business or do car maintenance and DIY. I would give any child, boy or girl, the same upbringing and teach them the same things from needlework to wallpapering and I think it's a mother more than a father who teaches a boy how to be a man by what they accept and expect from the men around them and how they allow themselves to be treated. My dad is around, as are other male friends and family, so this one will have an influence in its life though not from partners, DD hasn't met any boyfriends in the last 4 years though there have been some, but I don't think it really a necessity. I'm not worried about it anyway. smile

itsjustthursday Sun 27-Apr-14 13:50:24

DH thinks it's a girl. I'm leaning that way but mainly because DH thinks it! He thought we were having a boy last time and we did, we didn't find out the sex at the scan so it was a guess all the way through. However I think we're about 95% certain that we'll be finding out this time. It's been on my mind, even though that scan isn't for another 10 weeks, but this time around it feels right. Odd, as I thought I'd always want to leave it until the birth, but it's just different. I feel like I can start telling DS a lot more about a little brother or sister, and start preparing ourselves too, if we know.

We went to a party and the kids were older than him, around 2yo - 3yo, he was the youngest at 16mo. The difference between him and them was so noticeable, he's a sweet intelligent thing and surprises me every day (he has started to bring me his sleeping bag when he's tired, I admit I went crazy gushing proud parent when he started doing that grin), but the other children understand a lot more when you speak to them, and have more defined personalities, as in wanting something and not wanting to share, for instance, whereas DS is still a bit oblivious - he sees something he likes, he goes for it, if you take it away he wanders off elsewhere, and he doesn't get frustrated if he can't get it, just finds something else. He was also the only kid more focused on the food than the fun, kept walking up to the table and grabbing olives and popcorn! So I think that by the time DC2 arrives we'll be dealing with a very different child - perhaps easier to communicate, but also perhaps more stubborn or frustrated confused

We're going to hire a cleaner. I'm not sure when, as I'd love one now really grin but the only reason I want one now is first tri tiredness and nausea means the kitchen is not ideal (not awful, DH is great, but not exactly how I want it) and the bathroom gets dealt with less (again it looks fine, but I really want the bath scrubbed but don't want to do it myself atm). Hopefully within the next few weeks things will settle down a bit and I'll return to normal action with housework and we will run more smoothly, but no way am I going to be doing it with a newborn. Ideally I want someone twice a week, to help stem the madness that I feel certain will descend on our home. I'm thinking maybe from 37 or 38 weeks until DC2 is at least 1mo or 2mo, depending on how it all goes. Also torn as to whether or not I should put DS in for childcare, he'll get 15 hours free from Jan 2015 but seeing as I'll be home anyway I can't decide if I want to send him out confused

Tigsy Sun 27-Apr-14 14:55:14

Phew.... found you all smile

itsjusthursday thanks for the links- will have a look once I'm feeling braver!

pinkgirlythoughts Sun 27-Apr-14 15:38:43

ooh, had a moment of panic when I saw the old thread was full!

Well, after thinking my sickness was easing off a bit in the last week or so, I've thrown up twice today sad last time was about half an hour ago, and I feel utterly crappy. Luckily DS is having a late nap, so I'm snuggled on the sofa with DH watching TV and mumsnetting til I feel more human again!

alex7149 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:06:30

I wish I could get a cleaner but I'd have to clean it all to make it presentable for the cleaner :P

I think it's a girl, so does dp after the scan, he was leaning towards boy before. Bicarbonate of soda test x2 indicates girl, nub theory says girl and so does side of implantation so we'll see smile

Amyrose82 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:18:30

Phew found you! Just marking my place for the moment... smile

Giraffeski Sun 27-Apr-14 16:19:22

Oh dear Random, my DP ticks all your boxes but he's mine!!!!
Stay away! wink

We have our scan on Tuesday, will be 12 weeks exactly. We won't be finding out sex at 20 week as we liked not knowing last time.
DP guessed all the way through that DD was a boy and was totally shocked when she wasn't!

We have told a few more people this week, friends etc. Still not told PIL but will be telling them on Tuesday after the scan I think.
My parents have known since I had the BFP!

Annarose2014 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:39:50

I desperately want to know the sex! Funny thing, I've always known I'd be someone who found out. I am staggered at the fortitude of people who leave it a suprise!

Also it means I only have to decide on one name. We are completely at square 1 with names for both boys and girls - it would be great to only have to think up one!

I have felt from the start "BOY". It alarmed me, as I definately wanted a girl - I have no brothers and went to a girls school so have zero experience of little boys. They frightened me!

But actually its been very helpful having this feeling as its forced me to look about at little boys in town and try to visualise it. I'm noticing for the first time how cool and funny they are. I now think a little boy would be the best thing ever, and now don't care what i have!

(Still think its a boy though....)

Hopeful83 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:42:24

Just marking my place. Have just got back from a hen weekend, managed to hide not drinking (I think, no one commented anyway) by carrying around a glass of wine all night and sneakily pouring small amounts away when no one was looking. Had the Harmony test on Friday, got a 1 in 11,815 chance for Down's syndrome on the NT which at 30 I was happy with. Have to wait 2 weeks for the Harmony results. We're going to find out the gender too. Eek! Not long to wait.

Thursday - thanks for posting the pram links, I am going to spend tonight beginning research I think.

Random - how rude of the postman! You should definitely complain, disgusting!

Some hope for all those people feeling rubbish - I was really tired and nauseous but now the tiredness is much less and the nausea only rare, I am 12+5, so hopefully you'll all start to feel better soon. Just got back from Bluewater though with new clothes in medium (usually a small) as I am really struggling to fit into my work clothes now. I don't look pregnant really, just fat. Hopefully I'll look more pregnant soon.

Petal26 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:44:03

itsjustthursday We will be sending DD to Nursery in January for the first time. She isn't 3 until the second week of the term so we will have to pay until she is eligible for the free hours after Easter.
It will be at the school where I work now so I know the set up and routine and I really think she is going to benefit socially as she is quite shy at the moment. I just hope she doesn't think we are 'sending her out of the house' or replacing her as it will only be 6 weeks after baby arrives (if all is well) so we are talking about going to school all of the time at the moment and will continue to.
I think I will need 2 days a week to grab half an hour here or there to myself as well while DC2 is having a quick nap (I can dream!)
DH has taken DD to the park for half an hour before tea so trying to catch up with Game of Thrones quickly, have been trying all week and it's not really a program I can watch with her around!

Hopeful83 Sun 27-Apr-14 16:44:53

Just realised that last comment sounds bad, obviously I don't look fat as I'm only a medium, but just fatter than I usually am. I meant that the weight gain seems all over rather than a bump. Think it's all the snacking I've done to keep the nausea at bay!

Polkadotscarf Sun 27-Apr-14 17:51:12

I had a cleaner at work ask me, in front of another cleaner, if I was pregnant as she'd heard rumours! I feel really shocked and cross that I was forced to say before I was ready and I know it was because she wanted gossip as she barely says hello usually. I have no reason to believe anything will go wrong now, I am 12 weeks and had a scan last week but still wanted to wait til the official twelve week scan. She wouldn't tell me who had be saying things. Just feel it's so rude to put so done on the spot like that! Grrr!

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 18:13:04

Just spent my £200 John Lewis vouchers I won here and got pretty much everything I need for the baby! I'm pretty sorted now apart from clothes! smile

alex7149 Sun 27-Apr-14 18:17:53

Wow random - organised! Polka that's horrible of her, I wouldn't ask unless it was someone I was close to! It puts you in such an awkward position!

blamber Sun 27-Apr-14 18:32:50

I'm really looking forward to the shortness of breath and the tiredness disappearing! I'm hoping it will and feel better for reading everyone's experiences with this in previous pregnancies. I'm so exhausted and starting a new job tomorrow which involves quite a long commute. I'm dreading it sad.

StudyFullTime Sun 27-Apr-14 18:38:50

I've told everyone now, if it goes wrong then I know I'll have lots of support.

does anyone else have really sensitive teeth? Mine hurt when I eat, I have a dentist appointment soon so will ask then.

I can't believe how quickly this is all going, had blood tests done the other day and they came back clear so just waiting for 12 week scan next Thursday the 8th.

10 weeks 3 days today smile

Annarose2014 Sun 27-Apr-14 19:00:17

blamber I have a 50 minute commute and 13 hour days on my feet so I sympathise. Last night I wasn't home till 10.20. I honestly don't know any more which is pregnancy tiredness and which is hellish-schedule tiredness.

And I'm up on the first floor which is nothing normally but OMG the shortness of breath! Its like climbing Everest! grin And I can't really get the lift cos its a hospital and the porters make snidey sarky remarks if they see you using a hospital lift to go up one flight. And i don't have the energy for those Fuckers. angry

Chivesmum Sun 27-Apr-14 19:15:23

Ooo new thread! I kept clicking refresh on the old one and thought everyone was quiet blush

Feeling rubbish again here - thought the nausea had peaked but apparently not sad quite fed up again with it all.
One week to go to the magic 12 weeks so am I hoping all will be well after that!! Wishful thinking I think!!!

We've taken the side of DS's cot and he didn't get out at all last night smile such a relief - last time we tried was a nightmare so he clearly just wasnt ready

MrsWombat Sun 27-Apr-14 19:32:36


11+4 today.

MummyV18 Sun 27-Apr-14 21:08:52

I'm 12+2 and got my 2nd dating scan on Thursday smile little one was too small to do checks last time.

I'm only just starting with all the bad nausea hmm which I'm gutted at as I thought I'd bypassed that.

We are definitely finding out as I can't wait smile I feel it may be a girl. What is the bicarbonate soda test???

I wish we could have a cleaner. I might have to look into it smile

alex7149 Sun 27-Apr-14 21:17:02

mummy v 8 you pee in a pot and put a couple of table spoons in it, apparently if it fizzes it's a boy If it doesn't then it's a girl.

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 21:19:51

Put some bicarb in a cup, wee on it, if it fizzes it's a boy, if there's no fizz it's a girl. Supposed to be fairly accurate too!

There's also the cabbage test:
Buy a red cabbage. Cut into chunks. The smaller you cut the chunks, the better your results will turn out.
Boil some water on the stove and put in the chunks of cabbage.
Let the water and cabbage boil for about 10 minutes or so. When the ten minutes is up, remove it from the heat. Mix 1 part of your urine to 1 part of the water that the cabbage was boiled in. If it turns pink or red then it's a boy, if it turns purple, it's a girl.

Then the ring on a string - hold a ring on string above your tummy, if it moves straight up & down, boy, in circles, girl.

Theres so many silly tests - Chinese gender prediction calendar, craving sweet vs craving savory, skin good or bad, etc etc. There was a funny video I saw on YouTube about it - I'll see if I can find it.

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 21:21:05
alita7 Sun 27-Apr-14 21:21:46

Sorry everyone, it changed my name without me telling it to by the looks of things- I never changed it to alex7149, which is a username for something else, unless my baby brain put the wrong thing in or something???

Oh dear. Anyway anything by alex7149 was me alita smile

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 21:27:35

lol! I was wondering how alex knew me so well!! grin

Elliekins Sun 27-Apr-14 21:27:50

Just marking my place, I had a BIG panic when I couldn't find you all for about 3 minutes! ��

TeaNCakes Sun 27-Apr-14 21:31:21

This is where you've all got to!

Random, I'm so horrified that anyone would say something like that, let alone your postman! What an ass! SPD sounds dreadful too, hope you are managing to get comfortable.

Before I was pregnant I'd always thought that it wouldn't want to know the gender, but I'm now way more interested than I thought I'd be! My mum is convinced it's a girl, she felt tired in the first trimester when she had my brothers but only felt sick with me, and since I've been almost continuously nauseous for nearly 6 weeks, she thinks I must be carrying a girl. And my MIL has only sons, so she'd love it to be a girl too. I'm not bothered, but realised I'd started thinking it was a girl, and then was really desperate to know either way! Maybe I'll buy a red cabbage tomorrow.... Think I might have some bicarb in the cupboard too....

alita7 Sun 27-Apr-14 21:51:17

haha tea and cakes dp was an only child and mil said she wanted a girl as well so when he was having kids she wanted a grand daughter, she ended up with 3 and what looks like a 4th girl on the way :p

other than wanting to know myself, I just want to avoid all the guesses as quickly as I can, I don't think I could manage going to 40 weeks with everyone telling me they're certain of the gender! I want that nipped in the bud :p

RandomInternetStranger Sun 27-Apr-14 21:58:05

I need to know, I'm a control freak and need to decide on names, clothes, schools, career...! wink

I already have my boy name and said I'd let DD choose the girl name... hmm

weeonion Sun 27-Apr-14 22:08:22

good evening folks! new thread already - hope we dont lose anyone in changing over!

Another week and more scans coming forthis group - cant wait to hear how you all get on
14 weeks today! I got a cancelled appt for CUBS test yesterday and nuchal was 1.8. happy with that. EDD is still 26th Oct but still thinking I am more November. With DD - the EDD moved around a bit as time went on so we shall see!

Managed to get a Harmony booked for next saturday so will have to wait for results of that before can relax I guess. Cant wait to hear how the others Harmony have went.

Like others - the sickness has eased a bit but not the grinding tiredness. DP and I took DD and 9 friends to cinema this afternoon as birthday treat - lovely to get an afternoon nap in the darkness grin and barely made it through their dinner at our local Italian. It was lovely though - have known some of these kids from birth and its fab to see what kinds of wee characters they have become. DP was a total star and allowed my pg brain to have a few minutes respite.

I have felt quickenings over the weekend. The same tickly sensation I had with DD - like small velvet gloves were tracing inside my stomach. I knew it could be earlier with pg 2 but totally caught me off guard especially as have felt so unconnected to this pg. DP got quite emotional when i told him. I know he has been keeping his excitement under wraps to not put pressure on me. smile

I hope we all have a good week and who knows - we could fill this thread with a 1000 by then...

Nessalina Sun 27-Apr-14 22:14:54

Hi all, just checking in smile
12 weeks tomorrow! Have scan on Tuesday and my head is all over the place confused Counting down the minutes...

amylou85 Sun 27-Apr-14 22:15:03

Aw so nice to see you all on a new thread, I saw it approaching 1000 and didn't dare post as didn't want the responsibility of naming a new one!

I was so excited this morning as woke up to my pregnancy app on my lock screen saying 'Hello Amy, you are 9 weeks pregnant today and your little embryo has now become a foetus' It made me smile so much!

Random and Alita I am totally going to try the bicarbonate test!!! I've always wanted to find out, i'm so impatient, also allows me to buy more clothes when I find out!!

Weird symptom today and not sure if it's just an oncoming col or something....has anyone else had aching calves/thighs? Feels like the onset of flu but the the rest of me feels fine (apart from nausea)

amylou85 Sun 27-Apr-14 22:29:03

P.s Random just watched that youtube clip, hilarious!!

ElleOhElle Sun 27-Apr-14 22:45:04

caught up with you chatterboxes grin

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 00:30:42

Oh bum. Just noticed a few new tiger stripes appearing tonight. Best get busy frantically rubbing the Bio Oil in!

Greenstone Mon 28-Apr-14 07:14:45

Whoops found you all! I think I must have been last to post on the other thread but didn't realise. Thanks again to barmy for starting the new one.

Thursday -- A cleaner, you say. I've been thinking very strongly about this too. These last weeks the house hasn't been great at all and DH has been tired from work so doing vv little in terms of everyday/maintenance housework hmm although he's his usual great self when it comes to anything related to DD. DH and I are both naturally untidy people, but mess has really bothered me since becoming a parent and I've done a lot to change my ways (lots done, more to do). He however could still go months without it occurring to him to clean the bathroom and as for hoovering?!

I think that we could afford a cleaner coming once a week fairly easily if we just gave up something else or had a stricter budget for food shopping. It's one of those things that sounds like a great luxury but in reality probably fairly affordable if you just jiggle things around a bit. However I do think that it would end up still being loads of work having to constantly declutter and tidy up before arrival of cleaner? (But maybe that would be a good thing...) Also I have no idea about the whole etiquette around the whole thing. But yes for the newborn days it could well be a sanity saver. I'd say we'll definitely get one in before the new baby comes to help with a big final clean and then for the first few weeks after.

At the moment DD spends 20 hours a week at a childminder while I work, and we'll probably keep this up. She's been going since she was tiny and she wouldn't know what to do with herself if all of a sudden she had to hang around with boring old mum all morning.

After all my moaning had a lovely day yesterday. Cooked a beef stew in the morning, had a nap mid-morning and finally slept off my headache, had a lovely lunch, went for a loooong 2.5 hour walk and did a few bits around town, then a lovely dinner in an Italian restaurant.

OK, DD calling, need to go attend!

amy83firsttimer Mon 28-Apr-14 08:49:27

I had horrible hormonal meltdown last night. Got all worried that I was going to get depressed and burst into floods of tears expecting hugs and comfort from DH. When will I learn that crying just makes him freeze and go silent????!!! Ten years together and it still catches me by surprise every time!
He managed a hug in the end which made me feel better
better. By the way I have no valid reason to worry about PND, think I was just being hormonal. Scary though


amy83firsttimer Mon 28-Apr-14 08:50:14

11+3. X

TwigletFiend Mon 28-Apr-14 08:56:29

Amylou, I had this the other day! Felt like I'd overdone it on the treadmill for a couple of days, really sore muscles all down my quads & my calves. Only lasted 48 hours then just vanished hmm.

11+1 today, scan on Thursday very early. Eek!

utopian99 Mon 28-Apr-14 09:22:17

Don't worry amy I think we're all pretty hormonal and ghastly at the moment. I had a pretty snippy call to the plasterer this morning, and I know half of it was just hormones. and half the ever present joy of dealing with contractors

Only just catching up on the new thread due to manically busy weekend of work. For what it's worth on the pram front we love our Stokke. They're not cheap but are super adjustable, plus can be parent or outward facing, and really high up when the LOs are tiny, which is why we chose it. Now have their high chair and cot too, again because of being so adjustable it means no more furniture buying for years, so the costs balance out over time really.

random quite shocked about how forward your postie was - you don't comment on his life choices! I do hope you don't write men off as a gender though - you sound like you've had an awful time of it but there are plenty of brilliant wonderful men worth kmowing as friends, just as there are great and not so great women too.

Hooray for all the positive scans coming through! And huge hugs to those with bad news. Still waiting till 8th of may for ours, urghggg. DH and I both suspect this will be a girl as I feel so much worse than with ds, but are going to wait to find out as last time everyone seemed quite disappointed we found out prior, so they can have fun guessing this time and I don't mind either way.
Although the first person that says "I bet you hope it's a girl this time" is getting a poke in the eye!

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 09:45:23

utopian I think it's too late for me! I think deciding I've had enough of men and am never going to do any of that again so I'm having a baby on my own is a pretty big middle finger up to the whole male population! grin I don't think there's no such thing as a decent man, I just think I've never met one and I must either be a magnet for nasty men or have a radar homing me in on them, either way I've given up on the whole blessed lot of them. There's not one ex boyfriend I can talk positively of, every single one has either been violent, a cheat, stolen off me, betrayed me in some way or treated me like shit or just been on another sodding planet. I look at my attached friends and again there's not one man I think is good enough - not that I'm demanding perfection but, you know, someone who isn't abusive or a cheat would be nice!! I can only name maybe 2 or 3 men from the last 20 years I think is decent and I don't know them very well to be honest and actually I don't trust my judgement anymore, I've been catastrophically wrong every time. I give up! But I'm happier having accepted that and made the decision to carry on my life plan without a man. It's actually really liberating! grin

Greenstone Mon 28-Apr-14 10:05:34

weeonion just saw that you got some clarity on the nuchal, that's brilliant! Hope it's helped you to relax a bit and I'm sure the Harmony will bring good news. Like you I still don't quite trust my new EDD of 2nd November (I think it should be more like 6th/7th November) but I'll go with it for now. I know it's not a big difference and that an EDD is just that, but DD came a day early and all of my mother's came early or on time...ach, I'm just being a control freak grin

amy83, I always worry a bit about women pregnant with their first who are 100% blissfully excited and full of talk about how perfect it's all going to be. Those who have occasional worries and meltdowns, on the other hand? Completely, completely normal flowers

Annarose2014 Mon 28-Apr-14 10:05:35

13 weeks today!!!!

I keep telling myself to get excited now. DH has started to. Getting beyond 12 weeks was the magic event in his head. But for me its 16 weeks cos of that bitch coworker who (as you prob all are bored hearing about) cursed me really hoped I wouldn't lose it at 16 wks like her.

Even this morning he was all "well thats it now surely!" And I was like ".......Hopefully" and he gave an exasperated face. But only 3 wks to go to my magic number, & am now daring to hope I'll get there.

weeonion has your stomach changed yet? Or is it still just bloatiness? DH was looking at my stomach last night and is convinced its starting to look proper pregnant as its perfectly round at the front but nothing at the sides. He claims "just fat" is a bit blobbier all over.

But I can't see how it could be! Its only the size of a peach! Surely that wouldn't make much difference!

TwigletFiend Mon 28-Apr-14 10:14:06

Annarose, I am with you on that one. If one more family member (they are the only ones who know so far) asks me if I'm 'looking pregnant or is it just fat?' one more time... angry!!

I definitely think it is just fat for me so far, for the record. However, I don't need that pointed out to me at every opportunity!

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 10:53:02

in all honestly random I've never met a totally decent person Including myself! We're all fallible!

got a definite mini bump here smile and still feeling sick so I'm grumpy that 12 weeks didn't miraculously make the sickness go :p

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 10:55:40

I quite revel in my new fatness. I kinda like it and play up on it. I think because I know it's only temporary and for a good reason it's a novelty and a change and amusing. Plus I know a couple of bitches will love the chance to make nasty comments so it kind of takes the wind out of their sales if I walk in proud as punch saying "check out my fat arse isn't it awesome!" before they can bitch about how fat I am. grin

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 10:57:10

Oh god yes I agree alita but I like to think that t the majority of people for all their faults don't hit, cheat and steal which are the failings I am referring to, not just being imperfect.

TwigletFiend Mon 28-Apr-14 11:05:08

If any part of me other than my belly had fattened up, I'd be glad. My legs are widely referred to as 'chicken legs' 'sparrow legs', 'Storky'... I also have tiny boobs. Sadly, these seem to be remaining stubbornly unaffected! At what stage has everyone started showing, if you don't mind me being nosy?

On the plus side, probably gaining weight because the vom-fest is FINALLY slowing down. Thank God!

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 11:28:08

Morning folks! It is a beaut sunny day up here - at long last!

Amy83 - and all others with ups and downs - hope it is better this week. The emotional roller coaster is hard to deal with. The slightest thing can send it off and i think the out-of-proportion unpredictability can be unnerving. DD is now used to me weeping at anything. The new digestives advert with grey kittens saw me in floods last night - and I am not even that keen on cats!

Good luck to all those with scans this week and hope the waiting isnt too hard for those with a while to go yet.

I am definetly feeling movement. I was lying in bed this morning and recognised the feelings. Has anyone else had theirs start yet? I know I may be one of the furtherest along on this thread and this is pg2 so it makes it different but keen to hear from others?

Annarose2014 - I dont have a bump yet but then i am not the flattest and toned. I was more with DD1. I am always really conscious as to what i say about "fat" at the best of times as it can be such a loaded term and I dont know what body issues / confidence others have and dont want to blithely say anything to a pg woman or indeed any women about appearance / weight etc. Have had eating disorders in the past and struggled to come to terms with fluctuating body sizes (i have been a sz 6 and a sz 24). I wonder if the no bump yet is because i kinda havent really connected with being pg as yet and maybe once that happens - I will bloom and blossom??

Greenstone Mon 28-Apr-14 11:38:25

I was wondering how everyone's eating is going now that the nausea is beginning to settle down a bit? I am trying hard to eat well and, inspired by a recent MN thread, have a new mission to give up sugar shock or at least drastically cut down. I had three lovely healthy meals yesterday but then ruined it all by having crisps and chocolate with DH as we watched our show. I said to him last night that we need to STOP buying crisps. We are healthy eaters and keep to a mostly vegetarian diet but we do like our snacks. DH is often training for half marathons and during those times he'll be very good - but he's not training right now, and my downfall is always when HE suggests we get ourselves some snacks for Game of Thrones/Mad Men/The Good Wife whatever it is we're watching. Then I'm like oh well if he wants to indulge then it's OK!

It is not OK! I am already craving sugar this morning and I know there are 3 purple snack bars in the house. I had a virtuous breakfast of scrambled eggs and smoked salmon on toast which was delicious but now I keep thinking about sugar. Must...resist...

Greenstone Mon 28-Apr-14 11:40:21

No movement here yet weeonion (13+2) but a definite poochy little roundedness appearing.

Annarose2014 Mon 28-Apr-14 11:42:13

Well I was reading a thread over on The Bump or one of those American sites about when people got a bump and was v taken aback that 90% of the answers were around 18 weeks!

I thought, oh golly, no WAY will it be that long for me as I've put on a stone since Wk 6! Then I started worrying that I wasn't like everyone else!

But then I relised that its all down to so many things. Some people with hard bellies won't show for ages cos of their musculature, and some who might have a belly to begin with might not show cos the difference at this stage isn't noticeable.

Whereas I am one of those tall people who was always able to stick my belly out to an astonishing size - remember that game as kids where we stuck our tummies out to pretend to be pregnant? I always won at those! But even as an adult when I had a flat(ish) stomach I could play that game and win! Even last year (when imagining being pregnant) I remember sticking my belly out in the mirror and I could look about 5 months gone, no problem.

So I suspect my stomach is just one that was always able to show early, iykwim.

ElleOhElle Mon 28-Apr-14 11:46:16

I think I have felt some movement although 12 weeks would be very early. I felt movement at 15 weeks last time

TwigletFiend Mon 28-Apr-14 11:50:24

AnnaRose, giggling now! grin I was never any good at it as it made me feel sick (should have taken that as a warning sign!) but my sister, even now, can make herself look full-term pregnant with minimal effort. It's mind-boggling.

As for eating, to be honest I have no idea how healthily I'm eating or not. Drinking lots of fruit tea so well hydrated & eating a lot of fruit & salad, on the plus side. On the downside, also sat and ate SEVEN packets of NikNaks in a row yesterday. The thought of a NikNak now makes me cringe. So probably not doing that well on the healthy eating front! blush

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 12:35:34

I was always good at that game! grin And I'm huge now at 13+2. grin

I haven't felt any movements yet, not even little flutters but last time it was at 17 weeks. Hoping it'll be slightly earlier this time as it's number 2. smile

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 13:03:34

I'm not expecting to feel anything for another 4 weeks at least, though I'm desperate to!

I'm still feeling queasy though no where near as bad as before 10 weeks. I'd like to be able to eat healthily again but It seems my food is still very restricted -.- though I'm being adventurous and eating chicken and a few vegetables :O

Elliekins Mon 28-Apr-14 13:38:25

I've 'only' gained about half a stone so far but it looks and feels like a lot more because I still feel really bloated.
By bedtime I look about 5 months pregnant, it's so weird.
It's presumably from eating all day and gravity affecting my complete lack of stomach muscle tone.
I was a size 10 ish and now my size 14 cheap and stretchy Matalan jeggings are getting quite tight already!
My stomach is much flatter in the morning but there's still a definitely pregnant paunchy bump too.

Can't wait to feel the flutterings of baby but really quite fearful of the sharp jabs and kicks to come later on..

We have a cleaner at the moment for 1.5-2 hours a week as we both work long hours and its amazing, so nice to come home to a clean house but sadly that luxury is probably for the chop.
Recent inspection of our finances has shown that they are in a right mess.
I am absolutely freaking out about how on earth we'll pay the (comparative to income) huge mortgage, our credit cards, house bills, vet bills for poorly beloved cat and run two cars on one salary in a few months time.
We both run out of money every month about a week before pay-day as it is and then live off what's in the bloody freezer and he is far worse than me at making sacrifices.
I'm spending what I would have spent on wine, cocktails, ciggies, and general fun nights out on acupuncture, which is far less fun.
He seems to be in denial and I don't quite know what to do. sad
I'm starting a spreadsheet!

How on earth do people manage?!

Random, I have been in so much pain with my back and pains radiating all down my legs that I was in tears loads last week. I saw the acupuncture lady I told you about on Friday morning and she did acupuncture and a special massage and by Saturday and Sunday I was almost completely pain free!
Bit sore and stiff and achey today though so seeing her for a follow-up on Wednesday but she really can work miracles.
I know your case is much more severe than mine but she says that the sooner you treat these things the better and more chance treatment will make a difference.
I find the idea of it sounds like complete bollocks but I can't deny that it really, really does work, even though I can't grasp the concept!

I've been such a mess with my emotions and the aches and pains, I really feel for you suffering as you are already.

Scan TOMORROW, really excited and utterly terrified at the same time, I feel like I have been holding my breath for days and starting to feel anxious as so so many people know already - I know everything will likely be fine, I certainly still feel pretty lousy but the nervous anticipation is getting the better of me, which means I reach for the chocolate digestives ...and bigger trousers blush

Sorry for MASSIVE post.

12w 1d!

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 13:59:23

My saving is cigarettes but then what I'm saving there I'm spending on food per week! Last night dinner was 3 sea bass, enough mash for 2, easily, and enough veg for at least 2. I'm a piggy!! grin

MrsWombat Mon 28-Apr-14 14:10:06

Nearly a week to go until my scan, and will be the magic 12 weeks on Wednesday.

I got the Doppler out today, and have managed to hear baby's heartbeat very clearly. smile Sounds like galloping horses! Sound quality wasn't very good though. Hope that's because baby is tiny and not because I got a cheap Doppler. grin Can't wait to show DP. He was so excited and surprised to hear the heartbeat at our early scan. Will work out a way to record it as well. I'm hoping the doppler will come in handy with DS so he can have a listen and do some bonding too.

My "bump" has definitely settled down, and disappeared a bit, but gets larger as the day goes on? I don't feel as sick as I have done, but the nausea hasn't gone yet. I haven't felt any movement yet but don't expect to for a long time. DP's cousin is expecting twins and is about three weeks ahead of me and seems to think she can feel them move.

Also started listening to my VBAC hypnotherapy CD. Hopefully it will help.

Elliekins - take a look at the moneysaving expert forums. You might pick up some tips on there? Things like switching to interest free payments on your mortgage while you are on maternity leave. For your credit cards, their debt free wannabe forum should be very helpful to you.

MrsWombat Mon 28-Apr-14 14:11:19

Interest only, not interest free. D'oh!

Miskate Mon 28-Apr-14 14:29:18

Elliekins - I could have written your last post word for word - I have the exact same anxieties. We have halved our grocery bill by not buying ahem 3-4 bottles of wine a week plus rolling baccy, but things keep mounting up - car insurance/ DIY etc. We won't be able to buy anything new for the baby, but I'm not bothered about that kind of thing anyway.

I've started a spreadsheet that shows my monthly salary deficit when on mat leave, and how much we need to save prior to me leaving for mat leave in order to cover the deficit. It's over £5k. LOVELY.

I was worried over the weekend as my nausea abated, but it's back full force today, hoorah. I'm not actually being sick, just feel rough.

Also - I had a very toned stomach with a mini sixpack (2pac?) prior to pregnancy and up to about week 6. I now ahve a delightful paunch that i am sure is 90% gas and 10% bebe.

Scan tomorrow morning at 8.30, so hopefully I'll be back on with good news...


Elliekins Mon 28-Apr-14 14:30:59

Thanks Mrs Wombat, that is an incredibly good idea - I'll call the mortgage people today and see if it's possible, as that could make a really big difference.
Trying to do a 0% transfer thing too for my credit card today..

I have all the statements out and an .xls open, but it's still blank and have been looking up cheap accommodation for our holiday instead.
Need to stop being a twat and get on with it, the head in the sand approach clearly isn't going to work for this... or childbirth.

Hope the hypnotherapy works well for you, I'm listening to mine loads and it does relax me, if nothing else.

Really want a Doppler! envy

Elliekins Mon 28-Apr-14 14:41:13

Glad I'm not alone Miskate, I've estimated that we need to find about an extra 4.5k for our living costs for while I'm not working and that only gives me about 5 months Mat leave, I want to stop work a month before ideally...
That means we need to save £700 a month from now on, which is impossible as we are always overdrawn by the 25th!
I'm now shopping at Asda not Waitrose and Sainsbury's and buying Asda basics where I can but still about £680 short of the monthly saving target.
Best sack the cleaner I suppose. ��
I work as a nanny so will hopefully be going back with my baby by February (preying they won't change their mind��) but my hours will be reduced from 58p/wk to 38p/wk so massive pay cut anyway.

My scan is at 12.00pm tomorrow, good luck!

Tigsy Mon 28-Apr-14 15:02:40

Twiglet your post about the nic-narks made me laugh- that could easily be me!
I was very grumpy last night as put on at least 10 pounds and just feel huge (and unfortunately not just in the belly region). I keep reading that most women only put on a couple of pounds in the first tri so keep thinking 'what gave I done!?'
Now nausea had improved quite a bit, going to make a conscious effort to eat better, but not easy as need to get rid of all the Easter chocolate first!

Tigsy Mon 28-Apr-14 15:03:12

Gah..... Nic-naks not nic-narks!!

Elliekins Mon 28-Apr-14 15:24:40

Great news!
Barclaycard have just given me a balance transfer of 0% for 2 years!
Why didn't I do this months ago?...
Next for the mortgage people!
Thanks Mrs Wombat - huge relief already! X

Venus2 Mon 28-Apr-14 15:29:20

Just lost the internet for 24hrs (grrr) and have just caught up.
Twiglet, I live in Surrey.
Thursday and Northern, I'm hoping the breathlessness eases soon like you both said as I didn't like googles answer that it stops when you have the baby.
Random, you have to kiss a lot of frogs...
Hopeful and Weeonion, did you guys book your Harmony tests after the 12 week scans?
Giraffe, Nessalina and Ellie, Good luck at the scans tomorrow. Looking forward to hearing your happy news smile
In regards to guessing the sex, I think that over 90% of the Nov thread think they are having girls. Hmm...

Venus2 Mon 28-Apr-14 15:31:06

If I missed anyone else who is having a scan tomorrow, nothing personal and best of luck to you too

Miskate Mon 28-Apr-14 15:39:17

I think I'm having a boy, but going to wait till the bitter end to find out...
My theory is based purely on the fact that there are a lot of boys in my husband's family and I have become rather hairy. Scientific!

Hello lovely ladies, I think I missed the whole last thread as it's been a hectice few weeks, but I had a free hour this afternoon so thought I'd track you all down.

Great to see the positive scan news! Mine is on Thursday afternoon when I'll be 11+6. Really not as nervous as I was with DD 2 years ago as I have a pretty sizable bump so I'm sure something is growing in there. Breaking the news to friends and family next week isn't going to be much of a shock I think!

I'm another one who doesn't want to know the gender. I'm imagining a boy as having had DD I can imagine another girl quite easily, and I want to try and picture life with one of each. Love the surprise!

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 15:51:24

Hi venus 2 - good to see you. I have always wanted a harmony but have been mucked about a bit with appts. My new appt is now saturday with around 2 weeks after that for results..... seems so long On another thread someone said they had the "nifty" test which apparently very similar but alot cheaper. I cant find anywhere to do it in Scotland but there are places in England / Wales (not sure where you are)

I think i am having a boy - purely because this pg feels so much different to my last so not scientific at all grin. The harmony test will tell us the sex if we want (which we do) so should find out about 17 weeks. I know which sex DP would quietly prefer but we havent really talked about it ... I know DD would LOVE a sister. She is thankfully not a very "girly" girl and it is more the idea of her getting her own mei tai that makes her excited about having a baby around grin. she still doesnt know yet about this pg though i did find a doodle she had done with dp, herself, me and a baby (well i presume that is what it was - it actually looked more like a maggot) inside a big love heart with 'what i wish for' written on it....

Venus2 Mon 28-Apr-14 15:51:58

My DH has an important work do coming up in a few weeks which has been totally stressing me out as none of my wardrobe fits anymore. Solved that problem today, bought a slim all white dress which definitely makes my tummy look pregnant. Love it. Much safer accentuating the bump than hiding it.

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 15:52:04

I thought it was a boy but every thing indicates girl :p we will see!

my doppler will be here soon, hoping I don't freak out if I can't find the heart beat. but I'm hoping that it will stop me worrying so much I need a private scan befoee 20 weeks :p

has anyone had chats about names (I don't want to talk about them just yet, shall we save that til later? ) dp and I aren't doing great tbh, it doesn't help that he refuses to settle on a name until their born which I agree with in principle but I know I will start calling them a name as soon as I find out gender, and will be pretty set on it by birth :p
But Yeh having to agree with someone has reduced my significantly :p

Venus2 Mon 28-Apr-14 16:04:55

Weeonion, I'm going to get the Harmony test as DH wants to. Did you book it whilst at the 12 week scan or independently? If they can check the sex at the Harmony test, what week is it best to do the test? I thought it needed to be 16 weeks to find out the sex.

TwigletFiend Mon 28-Apr-14 16:19:19

Oh gosh, please nobody talk about finances confused.

My OH broke the news to me LAST WEEK that he's put in an offer on a new business premise that comes with a house, so if it goes through we'll be moving my whale-sized butt into new accommodation mere weeks before I'm due to give birth. Not only that, but the house is twice the size of the bungalow we live in now & has ancient heating/boiler systems, so probably going to cost a fortune. Which means all my budgeting is screwed. And I can't redo it because nobody knows what the costs in the house will be. Oh, and we might not be moving there at all so "don't worry about it!".

And yet, he doesn't understand why the red mist descended... hmm

Oh, and definitely calling them Nik Narks from now on. Narky sums up how I'm feeling today pretty well! grin

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 16:21:15

Hi venus - as far as i know there is no time restrictions on the test - you can do it at any stage. It is independent from the NHS - private and ours is costing £650. Gulp. I want it as I am older and classed as much higher risk. There is a bit of a waiting list up here but manged to get one this weekend. I havent heard that the sex can only be told from 16 weeks - I know the sex can be determined much earlier in other forms of blood tests ( i know someone who is a carrier of a genetic disorder and found out v v early what sex she was carrying).

Let me know how you get on and your new dress sounds beaut...

TeaNCakes Mon 28-Apr-14 16:25:37

MrsWombat we must be due dates buddies, I'm 12 weeks on Wednesday but have to wait another week before my scan too. Also, I just lolled on the train at the interest free mortgage, I'd love one of those!!

I look fairly normal in the morning (although my boobs have grown and don't fit in lots of my clothes, argh!) but have a bit of a belly by the evening. I'm sure it's just bloating which I'm prone to anyway, but I keep getting concerned that someone at work is going to notice.

All this talk of nik naks is making me hungry. Again. Only 24 minutes after I stuffed a cereal bar in my cake hole. I'm going to be the size of a whale if I'm not careful!

TeaNCakes Mon 28-Apr-14 16:27:29

Venus think they can only clearly differentiate gender on scan from 16 weeks, but the blood tests can pick it up earlier

TwigletFiend Mon 28-Apr-14 16:28:40

LOL at cake hole! I am also having feeding issues. As in, I'm feeding myself too much, too often & with the wrong things!

And now I quite fancy another packet of Nik Naks. Darn it!

Hopeful83 Mon 28-Apr-14 16:30:49

Venus - I had my harmony test the day after my 12 week NHS scan. I booked the appointment at about 7/8 weeks though. I think there's a wait for appointments but I guess it depends how flexible you can be about dates and times. I needed after school and there was only one time left on the day I requested. I had it after so I could cancel it if I got bad news on my nhs scan. I would definitely recommend it (not got my harmony results yet as I have to wait 2 weeks but I got the NT results at the same appointment). They can't tell gender from scans before 16 weeks but the harmony uses your blood test to get a gender (not sure how!). It's 99% accurate apparently. I'll be hoping what I'm told at my 20 week scan matches my Harmony results. I had mine at the fetal medicine centre

Hopeful83 Mon 28-Apr-14 16:33:13

P.S. It cost £500 shock

Venus2 Mon 28-Apr-14 16:49:19

Weeonion, yes I knew it wasn't cheap but we want to be sure. I think they should tell us the sex at that cost. Maybe 16 weeks is just when most people have a sex testing scan. I don't know. I'm a beginner with all this. Is this your first?

Venus2 Mon 28-Apr-14 16:56:14

Hopeful and TeaNCakes thanks for confirming that I'm not imagining the 16 weeks info. I better get booking the Harmony test in asap if it's that busy. Luckily I don't have a job to juggle around so I can take whatever is on offer.

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 17:05:46

venus - this is my 2nd DC but first harmony test smile

I know they will tell me the sex from harmony - when i called to reconfirm appt I checked.

This aint a cheap pg - between private scans, harmony tests, doula and birthing pool - we are talking near a grand and half. thats a whack of my mat savings gone...

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 17:27:29

wow people are spending tonnes so far my pregnancy has cost £15 in fertility lube, £30- 40 in clothes, £10 in scan pics, around £15 in vitamins and I think that's it and I thought that was lots :p

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 17:28:10

oh and £20 on a doppler!

Annarose2014 Mon 28-Apr-14 18:22:38

I've spent 20 on a doppler and I think about 17.99 on those bump bands in New Look.

I didn't even fork out for pregnancy tests - just nicked some from my ward in the hospital! grin

No Harmony for me - we need to buy carpets!

utopian99 Mon 28-Apr-14 18:40:03

alita we sorted names for all three of our prospective children hmm while ds was in the oven. Now needless to say both of us are going through the names again and there are more in the mix! I love our ds's names and we picked his first name years before his conception but sadly it's now one of the most common in the last few years which irritates me mightily.

Financially we're okay having been through the adjustments first time around Ironically my ex-employers 'interesting' attitude to pregnant staff rather offset any issues with mat pay, ha and have so far spent about £60 on this pregnancy. Am definitely forking out for acupuncture again though, so that's a few hundred. Also thinking of putting down for a private room if we can at the hospital, dh being dispatched 4 hours afterwards last time while they kept me overnight was Not Cool.

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 19:33:34

I know we are spending alot at this stage, more than I budgeted for but as I am so worried and not really feeling pg (nor indeed imagining having a baby at this stage, I want all the reassurance I can get.

Haven't spent anything on mat clothes and hoping everything I had from last time will do. As for baby stuff - hoping we get most of our stuff back and can borrow / get the rest 2nd hand.

Sleepyhoglet Mon 28-Apr-14 19:43:21

Hi there. I'm due November 24th I think. Booking in this week and hope to get a scan confirmed then. Won't feel properly pregnant till then or until I get a decent bump. Just look permanently like had too much dinner at the mo!

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 19:47:26

I've spent about £500 plus £200 in vouchers but I've got everything I need now except baby clothes which I'll leave till I know the sex and how big this one is likely to be. I've got the travel system, changing bag, cloth nappies, bath & accessories, side cot, monitor, bouncer, playmat, bottles, breast pump, maternity clothes, doppler and maternity pillow. That's me done now. My parents can pitch in clothes as pressies but that's me totally done till munchkin is about 5 or 6 months. grin

Tigsy Mon 28-Apr-14 20:11:21

Hi Sleepy. Congratulations and welcome smile

blamber Mon 28-Apr-14 20:14:49

I hope I'm not ruining anyone's fun, but the bicarbonate soda and red cabbage test only measures how acid your urine is, which depends on what you've eaten/drunk! I did try and do the position of the placenta test while I had a scan, but couldn't figure out where it would be (there was just a yolk sac) and if the scan was a mirror image or not. We should do a google spreadsheet of everyone's guesses though and then see if we were right!

I haven't spent any money yet, but was going to order some wool to knit a baby cardi soon. Never knitted more than simple stuff like socks, but if I can manage it, it should look really cute!

I haven't gained any weight and am not showing yet, only when I suck my belly in I can see it's a bit rounder and firmer than it was. I have to commute 75 minutes each way now on public transport and am looking forward to having a bump as I can then claim a seat... and I will!

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 20:19:36

I wish I could go back and test the bicarbonate of soda before I was pregnant. but each time it doesn't fizz but will try again and see :p

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 20:22:50

Getting annoyed with the phone app as I keep having to do two posts as I forget the 2nd or 3rd thing I was going to say and have to read back -.-

I have a nan who knits a lot, I've still got to pluck up the courage to tell her I'm pregnant, not finished my nursing course and I'm not married... sigh but I'm sure she'll get stuck in with knitting straight away regardless of her feelings. will have to tell her (and everyone else who may buy things) I hate baby pink or blue though unless the item is lovely or mixed with other colours too.

amylou85 Mon 28-Apr-14 20:29:15

Blimmin ec! Harmony test is soooooo expensive! No way I'll be able to spend that kind of money. My midwife said they would be checking at the 12 week scan using the distance of the gap at the back of the neck or something...but I know that is just the chances rather than a certain answer, i'm guessing the harmony test gives a definite?

I want to know the sex so badly but I am just going to have to wait another few weeks. Had my 12 week scan appointment letter through today tho for may 14th (altho I think I will only be 11+3 then.....should I rebook it for week after?)

Had larger dinner tonight and ballooned right out, my DP found it amazing how I could swell up so much after a bit of steak!

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 20:33:19

Oh and got my muslins too, treated myself to the cool rainbow coloured ridiculously expensive ones for being so good with everything else. grin That's me done now! But with getting very immobile very quickly I wanted to make sure I was sorted early so I don't have to do anything later on. smile

RandomInternetStranger Mon 28-Apr-14 20:36:04

Amylou the nuchal test combined with bloods gives you a pretty accurate reading. I'm 37 and the bloods & nuchal took my risk from the standard 1 in 244 to 1 in almost 5000. How old are you? I wouldn't bother with the Harmony unless there's a family history and you're 45+ and the combined nuchal and bloods came back less than 1 in 50 to be honest.

blamber Mon 28-Apr-14 20:42:42

alita yeah I'm not knitting in baby blue or pink, it will be a nice neutral colour. It's great when nans can knit, they are so fast! It takes them an hour to do a cardi, whereas I figured I best start now if I want it finished before it's born! Only risk is that you may get something old-fashioned looking!

amy harmony test is so expensive, it's makes most sense to do it when you think you're high risk because of age for instance or when the NHS says you have a high risk. It's to prevent having the test where they take some cells from inside the womb. I think that test is as reliable as harmony, but there is a small chance of miscarriage. The harmony test is 99.9% or something reliable. There's another test which I can't remember the name of that's as reliable but a bit cheaper. Still a lot of money though, but worth it if you want to know for sure.

alita7 Mon 28-Apr-14 21:12:16

Blamber my nans quite good at finding different patterns to choose from, she'd probably take me to pick wool or let me choose colours! Red would be good smile

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 21:25:04

Amy - there is the nifty test which is cheaper than the harmony.
Of course, its all down to the individual and their own risk level, own need for peace of mind and also whether or not you actually want screening / diagnostic. The harmony is as reliable as CVS / amniocentisis but there is no risk of miscarriage as it is based on scans and blood tests. They extract fetal DNA from from your blood.

I am 42, no family history of chromosomal conditions and am still awaiting my nuchal tests. I want this for my family to make the best decision for our own circumstances. As I said before, it is all entirely up to individuals and what suits them best.

amylou85 Mon 28-Apr-14 21:32:04

Ah okey dokes, I'm 28 so I think I shall be fine without! Phewph wouldn't have been able to afford that!

selsigfach Mon 28-Apr-14 22:01:53

Hello all! I ducked out for a bit as I was obsessing and MN wasn't helping! 11+1 (nearly 2! Told you I was obsessing) and have my scan on Friday. After vomiting loads the last couple of weeks, I'm starting to feel a bit more positive that there is something alive in there. We're slowly getting there, ladies! Wishing you all well for your scans.

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 22:26:15

Welcome sleepyhoglet!

nogeybose Mon 28-Apr-14 22:34:05

Very relieved that all went well at the 12wk scan today. The only thing is they reckon I'm 13wks, not 12wks, which means my EDD is now 2/11/14. Still just about squeezing into this November thread ...

Scan was great, I took my 6yo out of school so she could come along and all I could hear was her giggling all the way through the appt. The baby kindly performed for the crowd by giving us a wave.

I've come to a decision about the home birth/bad rep hospital dilemma. If all goes ok and I'm lucky enough to get a choice, I'm choosing home birth.

weeonion Mon 28-Apr-14 22:53:39

Hi nogeybose - glad it all went well today and that yr DD was treated to a performance!

nogeybose Mon 28-Apr-14 23:05:16

Thanks weeonion.

Annarose2014 Mon 28-Apr-14 23:16:52

SIL has just got off the phone - she's giving us a pram!!!!!

Don't know what it is, don't care! So excited! Thats 200/300 quid saved!

(^desperately prays it fits into the boot of a Micra...^)

RandomInternetStranger Tue 29-Apr-14 01:20:05

Ooh think I just felt little flutters!! Went to bed and snuggled down and it felt like a tiny kitten playing with a teeny ball of wool in my tummy just like I remember! grin That's early if it was real! grin

AveryJessup Tue 29-Apr-14 01:50:22

Our group has really grown in the last few weeks - onto thread 4 and 5 pages in already! We are a chatty bunch...

Just checking in as I'm 12 weeks today. Scan is on Wednesday and I can't wait. Regardless of the outcome, I'll be glad to just know whatever I need to know. I am irrationally nervous though. Even though I know there is a 98% chance it'll all be fine, based on the 8 week scan, it's still nerve-wracking!

So far, I look about as pregnant as I did at 12 weeks with DS but am actually wearing maternity trousers this time. I got a nice snug-fitting pair in GAP that sit well already and dug two of my old pairs of maternity trousers out of the back of the closet from last time. It's easier this time as I don't have to buy especially whereas last time I remember not wanting to invest in maternity clothes until I really had to so I struggled along with this wonky bump band thing that never worked properly.

Roll on the second trimester for all of us and an end to this nausea / tiredness / puking for those of us who are puking!

Mumonabroom Tue 29-Apr-14 03:05:29

I got worried everyone had left and then I realised there was a new thread! D'oh!

Fingers crossed for all with scans coming up. Mine next Thursday the 8th. As it's my 3rd, I keep convincing myself I felt a flutter here and there. At only 11+2, I think it might be a bit early. Definitely showing more in the evening. Last two PG I just knew I was having boys, this time, no real feeling either way. DH is one of 3 boys though..

Sadly he can't make the scan this time, but I feel as it's my 3rd, I don't really mind. Not sure I want to take anyone else though, despite my MIL and Mum's offers. I guess if bad news I'd rather hear it by myself as I know I'd be busy consoling them instead..

Btw nic-naks, I now feel I need them in my life. I think a visit to the corner shop after the nursery run coming on. grin

Elliekins Tue 29-Apr-14 07:19:27

4 hours, 42 mins and 30 seconds until my SCAN!

MrsWombat Tue 29-Apr-14 07:27:50

We will be doing the Harmony Test only if the nuchal scan and bloods come back as high risk. The nuchal scan with DS (we didn't get the bloods 6 years ago) came back as high risk so we were offered a CVS at Kings. Which was really interesting, with the extra scans and taking part in clinical trials, and we'd do it again if there was no other options, but it has a 1% risk of miscarriage so I think another blood test would be better. It helps that we are close to London so easy to get to the clinics that do this.

<Waves> to due date buddy TeaNCake.

WinterLover Tue 29-Apr-14 07:58:06

im officially in maternity clothes and my god it feels good!!

Found someone selling maternity jeans on Facebook. 5 pairs for £15. When I got there she'd thrown in a mountain of tops and a dress grin ended up with a hin bag full for £15 and it all fits!! so so so happy.

13w today yippee

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 08:03:19

Just over 4 hrs now elliekins - hope it is a great experience for you. X

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 08:04:08

congrats nogey!

ooh ellie good luck!

I'm having a chat with my uni lecturer today, I told her in an email (so if she needed to get any info she could instead of just asking to see her) and she said we could have a chat after the session today.

Greenstone Tue 29-Apr-14 08:25:23

Congrats nogey and best of luck Elliekins.smile

Greenstone Tue 29-Apr-14 08:26:46

Nogey we're due date buddies now, I had the same experience!

Mathssssteacher123 Tue 29-Apr-14 09:02:09

Good luck to all those having scans today hope you have a nice day. I'm having mine on Thursday and I can't wait I had an early one when I had appendicitis but was completely out of it from anaesthetic that all I remember was everything was fine. I'm due to go back to work tomorrow. Ds is still so poorly the pneumonia has really taken it out of him. Anyone got any tips for getting him to eat something before all of this he had such a good appetite now he will barely eat a thing. I've offered him anything (treats as well as dinner as I just want him to eat something). Going to worry so much when I'm back at work.

TwigletFiend Tue 29-Apr-14 09:26:30

I also have scan Thursday, about half and half for nerves and excitement at the moment. I've been dead tired the last few days, no matter how much I try and sleep. Getting out of bed is an actual, physical struggle. My DP knows this. But last night, he came in from his 'gentleman's evening' at about 1.30 and decided to wake me up to tell me "how much I love you".

I replied with a fist to the face.

And now I feel bad because he's actually got a bruise under his eye where I socked him.

I was 12 weeks yesterday and felt like shit so was irrationally annoyed that it wasn't a magic gateway to feeling better! I have been feeling progressively better though. Fingers crossed for gradual improvement.

books thanks for your comment on the other thread - I didn't use the hot tub in the end because we were out in the day and then the others were hot tubbing later at night when I just wanted to sleep!

RandomInternetStranger Tue 29-Apr-14 11:02:38

maths is he drinking? Could you try thick smoothies, shakes or soups? I had pneumonia a few years back and it is an absolute killer, it was about 6 months before I was properly back to normal and a good few weeks I wasn't eating properly. I was just in bed taking every drug I could with brandy to try and knock me the hell out!! I didn't care anymore and just wanted to be unconscious. My mum offered to come and look after me and I was so poorly I said no because I just wanted to be left alone to die!! grin Got better though (obviously!) and when I did I made up for not eating for a while! grin It really is a miserable virus though, don't be too worried if he can't get much down, as long as he's still drinking, he'll get there.

Greenstone Tue 29-Apr-14 11:10:33

Maths, you poor things, you've had a rough few weeks haven't you. Your poor little DS, I am sure he will come back to himself eventually but like Random says it is a nasty virus and will take time. Would he eat something like peanut butter and banana spread on toast (that happens to be what I'm eating right now) and cut into appealing triangles or something? While he's watching tv? It is tasty but might help to fatten him up.

mismylinford Tue 29-Apr-14 11:18:54

Was secluded to have my scan on Friday. But after bleeding it was rearranged and i had the scan on Sunday. An what a relief the little one is healthy and happy. I had a heamatoma though which is why im bleeding. Wonderful to know everything is ok. 13 weeks and due 3rd November.

TwigletFiend Tue 29-Apr-14 11:25:38

Oh dear Maths, poor little man! Maybe try making a little 'event' out of the food? Call it a bed picnic or have a little tea party in his bed to try & encourage him to eat?

Annarose2014 Tue 29-Apr-14 13:02:34

Jesus Twiglet!!! shock

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 13:12:43

Aw maths I hope he feels better. Have you asked your local health visiting team, his nursery or your gp?

twig let I was livid last night when dp woke me up coming to bed, he kept waking me up too, little did I know that this was due to me star fishing and then rubbing my stubbly legs on his hehe

RandomInternetStranger Tue 29-Apr-14 13:16:44

I actually had a rant on Facebook about how tired I am but how people keep ringing me at silly o'clock and waking me up and I just want to cry I'm so exhausted so from now on email, WhatsApp, Facebook or text me but don't ring!!

Miskate Tue 29-Apr-14 13:35:28

12 week scan went brilliantly. Everything is fine. I am a numpty for worrying myself over a horoscope.
I am 13 weeks apparently, so new due date is 4th of November. I drank half a bottle of lucozade before the scan, and had a mad dash around the hospital trying to find the ward. This led to the baby goose going absolutely mad inside me, flailing about and in my husband's words "faceplanting my sidewall".

TwigletFiend Tue 29-Apr-14 13:40:32

Glad it's not just me, though I do feel bad now. To be fair, I was half asleep & he kind of lurched/fell on top of me & squooshed me into the mattress. If he hadn't had his face on my shoulder I probably wouldn't have caught him such a good one. And I was also fairly deeply asleep until he flopped on me, which was quite alarming! Stoopid man.

Random, definitely a good idea. Once I'm in bed I want to sleep, and I set my alarm to tell me when I need to get up thanks, don't need anyone else's input!

HRMumness Tue 29-Apr-14 15:02:48

I was getting a bit obsessed too and I've been trying to spend my time reading/doing more productive things rather than endless internetting lately. Not that it works, still knackered all the time.

I'm 12 weeks almost and have my scan on Friday. Have told most people now as I think it is quite obvious as I already have a decent bump and well, if something is wrong then I'd probably share that as well.

If I ask DD where the baby is, she points to my stomach now and tries to lift my top up and says "I see". I'm trying to talk to her about the baby regularly so she gets used to the idea.

Venus2 Tue 29-Apr-14 15:06:54

Haha Twiglet, your post made me laugh. Hope DP can see the funny side too.
Just back from a week in Spain to find my letter waiting for me. Scan this Thursday. Yay! Excited now but will be so nervous on the day. Guaranteed to be tears but hopefully of the happy variety. Twiglet and Maths I will be thinking of you both on Thurs.

Elliekins Tue 29-Apr-14 15:59:17

Hooray! All well with my scan too, baby was asleep faced own to begin with and then was sucking its thumb, which looked exactly like it was smoking a cigarette!
NT measurement was 1.5 which I assume is a good number and I can sigh a momentary sigh of relief before I find something else to panic about.
Hooray for your scan too Miskate, that's great news.
Lots more happy scans to come ladies.
My due date is now the 7th November. smile 12w-4 today!

27.5 weeks to go, that's very not long.
....Worrying again already...blush

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 16:00:04

mismylingford and miskate - great to hear you had good scans too! smile

I got my letter from nhs from nuchal scan and bloods to say i was low risk but no stats to go with it. reassuring and have rang them to give me the stats.

I have always been a late to bedder but now wanting to head there from about 9pm. We dont answer phone anyhow from that time ( a hangover from when dd was wee and those who knew us well, knew not to ring after 7pm as we woudl be focused on getting her settled etc. ) I dont bring my phone to bed anyhow so dont get disturbed and DP fields all calls anyhow when i am knackered. Hate talking on the phone anyhow - related to job which means i spend a fair whack of day sorting out grim support calls and scenarios so tend to be quite "business- like" on personal calls. Its become a family joke that i do catch ups and then end call.... smile

Its a beaut sunny day up here which reminds me i must start getting sun block out - last tinme i was pg with DD i wasnt so diligent and ended up with "interesting" tanned patches which have never completely faded..

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 16:00:56

aah elliekins - i was wondering how you got on! great news smile

TwigletFiend Tue 29-Apr-14 16:15:39

Great news on scans today! I'm slowly tipping towards 60% nerves 40% excitement now, so God knows how much of a wreck I'll be by the time it gets to Thursday morning.

We seem to have quite an active bunch of beans in this latest run of scans. Hope mine is the same! Congrats all smile

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 16:20:34

Hi folks - I hope it is ok that i have started a new thread that is just a list of all our stats / due dates.

I know some of these have changed as the 12 week / dating scans have happened and also we have newcomers to the thread. If you could check it out, copy and repost into a message there with your additions, updates and changes etc.


mismylinford Tue 29-Apr-14 16:23:59

So nice to here we are a bunch of worriers. I was fine with my first but this rascal has my nerves shot over very bad sickness bleeding fainting etc. Just have to believe everything will be ok. Keep calm and learn how to crochet in my case. Determined to make some clothes... Well at least a hat!

TwigletFiend Tue 29-Apr-14 16:47:23

Oh gosh mismylinford, let me know how it goes? I'm appalling at that kind of crafty thing but really like the idea of making something for the baby myself. If it's not too hard, I might give it a shot!

ElleOhElle Tue 29-Apr-14 17:07:03

out of curiosity what sizes are your babies measuring at 12 week scan. mine was 8.4cm??

felt so rubbish today.

great news for all the scans x

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 17:17:50

congrats ellie smile I didn't look at the babies measurement I was looking at the dates it brought up silly me.

I am so tired, I can't do anything anymore :p I went to uni this morning, had a chat with my tutor, wandered round the shops for an hour and got home about 2. I then curled up in bed and slept but now my body feels all heavy.

blamber Tue 29-Apr-14 18:04:35

How cool is that, at 12 weeks the baby is still so tiny, what was it Elle 8.4 cms at your scan, but they look like proper babies and they are already moving about so much. I can't wait for my scan.

Chivesmum Tue 29-Apr-14 18:26:27

Is the bit about blooming in the title a promise?!? Still feeling rough as heck here - horrible taste in my mouth and still off most foods. Please let it all go soon!!

One week till my scan smile

Glad all the other scans have gone well xx

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 18:35:27

so I'm majorly craving prawns with sea food sauce. dp is refusing to go to the coop 2 seconds away as he doesn't trust the prawns so he's going all the way to tescos about 20 mins away -.- hungry. I guess at least he's not lax about these things.

I'm fed up of feeling off food all day and even if I eat plenty I will suddenly be starving around 11pm. Hmph.

WinterLover Tue 29-Apr-14 18:54:01

alita I love your DH! Mine has buggered off with the car and I REALLY want a ham and pineapple pizza sad DS on way to bed and nearest shop is half hour walk away grrr

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 18:57:56

haha winter I love him now half an hour ago he was flicking me :p he wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for all the dinner :p

barmybunting Tue 29-Apr-14 19:09:12

Alita, sounds like your DH is looking after you smile.

Avery, I didn't think mat clothes would fit at this stage, the fact you've found some that will has made me decide I am off to find some mat jeans next week after my scan, all being well. Thanks!

Love the idea of making clothes for baby smile. My Mom has started to crochet a blanket and I'm gathering up fabric to make a quilt for our little one. I made one for our wedding instead of a guest book, and guests signed it/wrote messages on it. It now hangs in our wall and I absolutely love it, so I am planning to try to make a small one for baby which we can use as a rug to play on/quilt for a bed once they are older. I'm struggling with colours though as we don't want to find out the sex. We've wanted (I that is, DH has no choice here wink) to decorate a nursery with African animals/the bus (giraffes, elephants, lions etc) for years so I think I might try to find a mix of fabric like that to make the quilt.

Scan is a week tomorrow.

barmybunting Tue 29-Apr-14 19:14:09

Chivesmum, I wish the blooming was a promise! I was hopeful it might come true if I wrote it smile. Sorry to hear you are still feeling so rough. I am with you there, still throwing up every night, most often from the commute home from work when I walk in the door as driving really beings on the nausea. Oh how lovely pregnancy is wink.

I can't remember who, but someone mentioned a commute of 75 mins each way on public transport every day. How the hell are you coping with that? I drive an hour each way mon-fri and that is very much part of the reason I am going on mat leave in mid Sept because I can't bare it any longer than that. I admire you coping with that every day!

Chivesmum Tue 29-Apr-14 19:30:48

Thank you - I've not bee sick for a few days but its worse as I'd feel better if I could be!

I have so much respect for you ladies working - I'm a SAHM and that's hard enough! I did work last time and remember a few bus journeys were I only just made a public loo to throw up in!!!!

It is all worth it I know - just wish it wasnt so hard at the moment

bunnykitten Tue 29-Apr-14 19:45:48

Hi, sorry for the long absence, I've been freaking out about this whole baby thing! I have my scan tomorrow morning (will be 12+1) which I think will help a lot, I've mostly been worrying about it all being in my head. I've put on no weight, but am clearly bigger, so am hoping I don't turn up to the scan to find it's just a really bad case of trapped wind!!!

DH has been brilliant though, he's put up with a lot of whining from me!

I have a 75 min commute, although my baby on board badge helps a lot. I just have to remember to take it off before I get to work as I haven't told them yet...

Miskate Tue 29-Apr-14 19:55:02

I didn't even think to ask about the unchallenged measurement. Maybe it's different in wales, but they just booked me for a blood test in 3 weeks, which will be for downs. I'm 28 so not sure if that makes a difference to the way they order things.

67.77 mm measurement, bang on 13 weeks. I found the measurement on the scan that was attached to the back page of my yellow folder? Only just discovered a cache of photos back there!

SO happy there has been lots of good news today. I swear I will never read a horoscope again. Idiot.

Miskate Tue 29-Apr-14 20:03:26

Unchallenged = nuchal

Petal26 Tue 29-Apr-14 20:08:34

Still feeling quite rough here too :-( Taken it easy the last 2 days at home but got 3 really busy days at school starting tomorrow, hopefully I'll be too busy to feel sorry for myself!
I tried crocheting a blanket last time I was pregnant and everyone (MIL and mum etc) took the mick saying it was too heavy and more like a rug so I didn't finish it and haven't tried since!
Scan 1 week today! 11+4 today

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 20:33:11

I have some ideas for jazzing up plain girls clothes, sewing on bows and ribbons etc but no ideas for boys clothes so if I get the time I'll sort of make some if it's a girl.

Urgh tomorrow I have to do some tidying/ cleaning sad luckily dps mum is taking dsd to school as he has college so I don't have to get up (yesss!)

RandomInternetStranger Tue 29-Apr-14 21:14:31

God I am in awe of those of you who are going to make clothes! No chance I would attempt that, it would be disastrous! I made a scarf once which turned out alright until I washed it on a cool wash and it ended up being a Barbie scarf so I think I'll leave all of this to the more creative and capable among us! grin And I don't really like wool anyway, I find it too itchy. I did make my own nappy liners last time and looking at the ones I have now I may need to make some more, but that involves nothing more than cutting fleece into shape and that's my limit! grin

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 21:21:21

I dip dyed a load of baby vests and babygros last time in the last month waiting for DD to arrive - had quite a production line going with buckets of various colours (I had been inspired after getting free tickets to a hyper commercialised baby show where they were about �20 each which I thought was ludicrous!). I also made some taggy blankets for DD and our antenatal pal's babies which went down a treat.

Wont have the same time with this nugget but cant wait to see what you all come up with! smile

RandomInternetStranger Tue 29-Apr-14 21:25:22

Ah I dyed my muslins because after a few months they looked horrible with various stains on them! This time I've treated myself to rainbow coloured ones. smile

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 21:27:47

wow - have you noticed there is a January 2015 antenatal thread ....... .....which must mean we are moving towards our future postnatal one smile

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 21:33:54

ohhh what good ideas, I think I might do some tyedying :p

I'm getting a bit impatient now, I want to be able to feel ninja move, be really obviously pregnant and know the sex!!!

OMG Random rainbow coloured muslins? WHERE DO I FIND THEM?! grin

DP and I seem to be taking it in turns to freak out about this. I think partly it's because it's not so much normalised in same sex couples so we haven't had years of nudging and when are you going to, and it's clearly such a surprise to the people we've told. There is an element of "oh dear, what have I done, I am in no way equipped to cope with a baby" which I'm sure is normal for a first baby but is also making me feel guilty, because right now everything is making me feel guilty {looks round at untidy room}

On the plus side I am back on the healthy eating and trying to eat low-GI foods does seem to improve the mood swings. I think my blood sugar has been so all over the place with the nausea that it's difficult to know what's real emotion and what's just the evil bit of my subconscious having a laugh.

Annarose2014 Tue 29-Apr-14 21:55:49

Tiedying is a great idea!

I writing this from bed. Its still bright out! I don't even care.

I got up at 6, out the door by 6.45, 1 hour commute, 13 hour shift entirely on feet in hospital, out by 8.30pm, home by 9.30pm, in the bed about 60 seconds later.

I have NO IDEA how I'm going to keep this up but I've no choice. My poor body feels about 40 years older than I am!

I've already started cheekily sitting down on people's beds whilst taking their blood pressure. Infection Control be damned! grin

StripeyFox Tue 29-Apr-14 22:00:55

I'd noticed the January thread and it made me realise how far we've all come along!

I've got my booking appointment tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. Although I'm not looking forward to being weighed- I have been constantly hungry recently, I'm slightly concerned. It doesn' help matters that I've been revising for exams these last few weeks too and spending more time than usual in the house. I'm working away for most of May so will be pleased to be distracted by that for a bit!

All of your creative ideas have got my creative juices flowing - the list of things I plan to do/create/organise pre-baby will be so long by the time I go on maternity leave!

Fab to hear about all the active babies at scans. I must head over and add myself to the stats list, I've not done it yet!

Loaf99 Tue 29-Apr-14 22:04:08

Hello imbrian hello emiranda! We are all edd 26 November! Where are you based?

mismylinford Tue 29-Apr-14 22:06:08

Twiglet , I've never done crochet or knitting. But i decided i wanted something to do to keep my mind busy while of work so i for a kit off ebay and watch tutorials on YouTube. Just practise ill get there Haha x

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:06:13

Posygossilshoes - maybe we should allocate a colour to different people and we each dye a batch of muslins and send round so we end up with a rainbow set each - a muslin dyeing collective??? :-)

I remember a total PINK explosion in our house after DD was born which I do not want this time. Neither do I want pastel blue if its a boy. I think rainbow stripes / spots is the way ahead for either gender tbh.

2 of our same sex partnered friends of ours had kids recently. Our friendship circle were over the moon for them but they dealt with some surprising attitudes amongst people who really should have known better. There was a same sex couple at my scan on Saturday who were so excited but equally freaked by the process. I think of info aimed at parents to be / patents is sadly v heteronormative. Hopefully that will change with time.

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:10:52

Hey stripey - good luck tomorrow!! What time you in at - I have to go in at 1.30pm so might see you there??

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 22:15:39

onion I too hate baby pink and baby blue, baby will have a colourful wardrobe! Not quite sure how to tell potential gift givers that I don't want those colours without being rude :p
I kinda like the passing muslins around for dying idea :p

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:17:46
alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 22:20:01

posy I'm trying not to sound ignorant but how are you planning things to be in your house? is one of you stereotypically more mum or more dad? are you both being called mum? is your partner planning on carrying one in the future if you decide you want more?
sorry if that's a bit personal just interested smile

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 22:22:22

put rainbow muslins into ebay, there's some great ones!

TeaNCakes Tue 29-Apr-14 22:24:56

I love the idea of a muslin dying collective! I'm normally quite crafty but haven't picked up a needle (sewing or knitting) since our bfp. I think I must be feeling slightly better as I've been looking out knitting, crochet and quilting patterns tonight, although a long way from actually making anything I feel like its a positive step! I'm loving the idea of rainbow coloured things, have seen some lovely rainbow quilts.

Lovely to hear more good scan news and good luck to those with scans the next few days!

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:24:57

annarose - i had a round commuting journey of 4 hours with DD. I was lucky enough to be able to sleep for alot of it and had my hypno-birthing CD on loop to make use of the time. i do sympathise with all those facing it.

how many days a week will you be doing it?

StripeyFox Tue 29-Apr-14 22:25:28

Thanks weeonion! My appointment is at 2.45pm, I will have a blue bag with white spots with me- say hi if you see me, it would be lovely to meet you.

Loving the idea of brightly coloured muslins and feel the same about avoiding pink/blue colouring. I've started looking out for which shops stock lovely bright clothes for girls and boys. Found Tiny Vikings this week and have fallen in love with some if their fabrics!

Annarose - I also work long shifts and am wondering how I'll cope as the pregnancy progresses.

weeonion thanks for the link!

Also the info aimed at parents to be is TOTALLY out of Peter & Jane books to the point where it surely excludes pretty much everyone, the straight couples I know don't live like that (or maybe that's just my weird friends…) But the adverts on the hospital TV were all

* man of approx 35- 45, white, clean shaven, obviously middle class
* woman of approx 25 - 35, white, slim (or slim with bump), obviously middle class
* no single parents
* no non-white people
* no unmarried people (they all had wedding rings!)
* DEFINITELY nobody who can't afford the products they're promoting
* daddy puts the car seat in and constructs the high chair, while mummy looks radiant and / or eats salad...

I was watching the same ads for 90 minutes. They got quite hypnotic.

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:29:24

ok - getting carried away with rainbow collective idea! it could extend beyond muslins - baby gros, baby vests, socks... the list is endless and we could end up with complete rainbow sets of lots of things.....

Our november babies could be a colourful rainbow collective. grin

posy I'm trying not to sound ignorant but how are you planning things to be in your house? is one of you stereotypically more mum or more dad? are you both being called mum? is your partner planning on carrying one in the future if you decide you want more? sorry if that's a bit personal just interested smile

Not at all Alita, it's my only favourite topic of conversation at the moment smile

Neither of us are stereotypically one or the other, we don't do the butch / femme thing. We'll both be "Mum" and if our child is anything like others I've met he or she will work out their own names to distinguish us in the future (mummy & mamma / mummy & mum / mummy posy & mummy partners-name for example).

DP doesn't want to carry, she's never had any desire to be pregnant and goes pale at the prospect of labour grin, also she's slightly older than me so if we have more it will be me who carries again, as it makes sense if we're paying for the insemination to go with the one with more chance of conceiving which is the younger one. And we know I can do it now!

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:33:36

stripey - gah! i may be gone by them but watch out for a red head with long hair and a green and black polka dot satchel!

we will hopefully meet at some stage tho' as we are homebirthers in the same city smile. On my last MN antenatal thread - a few of us managed to meet a few times - the tramway, Mono, 13th note so fingers crossed for this too...

StripeyFox Tue 29-Apr-14 22:40:01

Haha, love your incredibly accurate description posy. Unfortunately I think that attitudes regarding stereotypes are particularly prevalent in maternity care.

Where I work many if my colleagues are terrible for promoting gender stereotypes, it drives me mad. Particularly in relation to talking about men being useless, not understanding emotions, not cleaning etc. I've either found the only man who isn't like this, or he's secretly a woman!

StripeyFox Tue 29-Apr-14 22:48:08

I'll look out for you, just in case we happen to cross over tomorrow. But if not, then certainly another time. I'm actually really excited about beginning to meet other mums/mums to be. It'll maybe make things begin to seem more real!

Sorry everyone, this board is moving so quickly some of my messages may not have been clear exactly what that are replying to tonight.

Annarose2014 Tue 29-Apr-14 22:50:54

weeonion I do three 13 hr shifts a week. That could be nights or weekends too, it's never the same two weeks in a row and that kills me as you can't get into a routine or plan more than two weeks ahead cos the roster is never done further away than that.

After baby is born I'm signing with an agency. At least then I'll be in control of what days I work.

I wish I could fall asleep but I drive! The drive home is particularly hellish, as its right into the setting sun. Exhausted me + fiery ball in my eyes = very cranky pregnant woman!

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 22:55:00

annarose - my sympathies are with you. DP is a nurse so i am used to his shifts being all over the place but that is a tough call. i had the luxury of getting coach / train so again - no practical suggestions to help wih that. A couple of others here are doing long commutes so maybe they have found / are finding ways to cope.

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 23:01:52

that is interesting posy (not in a condescending way!) or rather uninteresting in that it sounds totally normal :p
See I would have pushed for the opportunity to see dp carry a child, would do him good when he's telling me to stop moaning :p I envy you having that potential hehe

my dp is extremely stereotypical man... untidy, hates housework, easily distracted, loves tools and making/ fixing stuff, panics if I require him to do 2 things at once, struggles with empathy... :p but he is also lovely in lots of ways and is super cute behind the man smile

if I wanted to reply to anyone else I've forgotten again!

does anyone have yellow filled nipples yet? I asked about a month ago but people didn't really. I've had bits of yellow since my mmc but have lots more crusty Ness now. I picked most of it out and there's red gappy nipples with dampness in the gaps. familiar?

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 23:03:46

Anna shifts sucks! so glad my placement finished and next one is when ill be around 20 weeks. You have my sympathy!

weeonion Tue 29-Apr-14 23:06:50

Ailta - my nipples are going through all kinds of wondorous changes wink but not quite as crusty as yours seem. Did you bf last time as i am putting mine down to that? I sometimes get a sensation almost like "let down" which is weird and at times my boobs feel hard / engorged....
yet more delights!

Alita you can always get him a "sympathy bump" suit like in this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIj24f811CM I'm sure that would go down well :-P

No yellow nipples and can't say I'm too keen on the sound of that but (TMI alert) I seem to be producing enough CM to flood a small island.

RandomInternetStranger Tue 29-Apr-14 23:11:12

posy I have been regularly having the same rant! Single mothers are a taboo or are depicted as Vicki Pollards. There are huge numbers of older women using donors and skipping the relationship bit either because like me they choose not to have relationships anymore or like my friend they have never met anyone and are running out of time. The only depiction of a single mother was I think in the Emma's diary from 8 years ago which may well have changed by now (I hope!) but I've not read it again which had a white married middle class couple who sailed through pregnancy with no problems, and a young teenage single mother who had every problem going and a terrible birth. Hmmmm the message there wasn't clear at all. hmm

I am loving the rainbow collective!! I'd be up for that! Buy a set from Primark of whatever plain white items, pick a colour and send one to everyone. That would be awesome! We should definitely do it!!! grin Seriously!

Do we have a Facebook group? Would anyone want one? It's become my daily ritual now to check Facebook then check this thread, then Facebook again. grin grin

alita7 Tue 29-Apr-14 23:20:00

onion this is dc1 , last one was a mmc but had leaky boobs after and could squeeze milk out until I'd been on the pill a while then when I came off it to ttc I could squeeze a tiny bit of cloudy stuff (colostrum?) out every so often). so my boobs seem to be super functional, touch wood.

posy I think he needs it, along with emetics!

Random I'd be interested in a fb group in a few weeks - a month , don't want anything on fb until I've told extended family in case the privacy settings aren't right or something. I'm sure lots of those who haven't had scans yet may want to wait too?

Yep I'd rather wait for FB until I've told everyone too. My 12 week scan is Friday so hoping to tell people over the weekend, assuming all is well...

Elliekins Tue 29-Apr-14 23:53:02

Posy, I was raised in an 'unconventional for the early '80's' family - my mum and her partner, my 'other' mum, my dad being a gay colleague-from-work-cum-(excuse the pun)-sperm-donor!
This was pre-petri dish conception, he had a pot, they had a turkey baster pipette.blush
Sadly because of their own hang-ups and societal pressures about their set-up, plus negative responses from some of those around them at the time, including my grandmother, they ceased to have a relationship (in the true sense of the word) after I was born and they left London.
To be honest, my other mum wasn't truly gay anyway (more happily asexual) so to my mother's disappointment they continued to live together and raise me jointly, but just as friends.
It seems so bonkers and tragic in hindsight, everyone locally assumed they were a couple anyway so also pointless, but there was a real sense of what was 'socially acceptable' at the time to them and its really sad.
It's still daft that although things have moved on massively,the concept of 'family' is still so ridiculously stereotyped and nuclear.
I was oblivious that they had once a couple for many years (very unobservant in hindsight) but I knew my 'family' was different and I couldn't have cared less.
Never really known my dad, not at all fussed about that either.
I'm pleased to report that they still live companionably together after 33 years, well, in fact 38 years in total.
But it makes me really sad that they felt they could not proudly be together properly when I was younger and now it is all too late for them.
I love to hear of same sex couples doing it properly; my 'other' mum would have absolutely loved to have been called Mummy X by me and she certainly has earned the title over the many years of raising me, but it just wasn't an option for them.hmm
Still, they'll both be equal Grandmas to mine. smile

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 00:03:08

Turkey baster babies rock. wink

utopian99 Wed 30-Apr-14 02:56:00

Sorry to hear about your parents societal struggle, ellie, but your point about equal grandmas made me happy. We have friends who are lesbians (dh's ex girlfriend and his best female friend from teens - not as soap opera as it sounds) who have faced real issues from the parents of one of them regarding their relationship for years but decided finally to say "stuff you all" and get married anyway, and suddenly THAT makes her very Catholic parents fine!

They're thinking of children too soonish and have elected that dh's ex will be the one to carry as she'd get better maternity leave etc and again the other isn't keen on the pregnancy bit as much. I confess I am secretly a bit jealous of the option to choose; ds is lovely, but I HATE being pg and it's effects on my body with a passion. If there were any way of avoiding it I would im a shot. Thankfully dh is hugely sympathetic and admits he's dodged a bullet there... smile

utopian99 Wed 30-Apr-14 06:21:21

Also stripey I know what you mean about gender stereotypes - it drives me mad how it seems that to say women are hormonal and unstable (for example) is sexist and chauvinistic, but to say all men are emotionally stunted and only good for diy is somehow considered either fine/a laugh, or worse an acceptable truth! I know plenty of people who don't fit in with the stereotypes, dh included..

barmybunting Wed 30-Apr-14 06:56:49

Has anyone been told they aren't immune to rubella (German measles) after blood tests at booking in appointment? I've had five letters about it for some reason, seems a bit overboard to me! I wasn't vaccinated against it as a child as I wasn't born/raised in the UK but now they say I should have it post pregnancy. Does anyone know if it's actually necessary?

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 07:13:00

Morning all. Good luck to all today's scanees - looking forward to hearing all the updates later!

I'm another who would prefer to hold off on a FB group. I think it was mentioned in an earlier thread? I haven't told anyone yet and dont want it to "get" out as yet. Also - I find it tough to keep up with everyone here, never mind having to retain info from 2 places!!! We know everyone here is on MN but not all want to nor have a FB profile? Being selfish - I quite like keeping my FB "life" and my MN one separate??

Utopia - I agree about stereotypes. I think they are all damaging and limiting. Our family, whilst heterosexual, doesn't fit in with alot of them. DP is a nurse and the amount of people who assume his srxual orientation based on just that fact is shocking!
I am v glad that DD has been brought up knowing that women love women, men love men and all kinds of combinations from she was born and has a pretty "rainbow" collection of family friends so she doesn't really ser anything as the 'norm'. She was at her 1st Pride march when she 8 weeks old and has been to them every year since then.
I think it takes a village of all kinds of people to raise a happy healthy balanced child - the more in the mix the better.

Have a good day all.

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 07:15:14

Hi barmy! I dont know about that tbh but hopefully someone will be along soon who does!

TeaNCakes Wed 30-Apr-14 07:21:25

Barmy five letters certainly seems overboard! The reason they test in pregnancy is that if you contract rubella in pregnancy (particularly the early part) it can cause the baby the be disabled (mostly vision, hearing and cognitive impairment) or miscarriage. You can't have the vaccine in pregnancy because it's a live vaccine and in the pregnancy state of slight immunocompromise there is a risk you could contract the disease. They give it after pregnancy to try to make sure you are protected in any future pregnancies.

Hope that helps?

Amyrose82 Wed 30-Apr-14 07:47:00

Morning all! Eek it's scan day! Only two-and-a-half hours to go til we get to see our little bean again - am wavering between excited and terrified (no surprises there!)

Good luck to everyone else with scans this week and glad to see all the good scan news coming through on this thread grin

I'm loving the idea of a rainbow muslin collective too - bold and bright beats baby blue or pink any day so count me in!

A FB group might be nice a bit later on but only if everyone's on board (don't want people being left out on the thread) and if it's a private invite-only type group just for us, that way it won't pop up in friends' news feeds or anything. I'm in a similar type brides group and that works well!

Some really interesting points being raised about families and stereotypes/attitudes too - in this day and age the 'nuclear' family isn't really the norm at all and as long as the family is loving and secure it really shouldn't matter what the setup is!

Random - I'm STILL in shock about your postie's attitude! Un-fricking-believable!

Greenstone Wed 30-Apr-14 07:59:52

Loving the rainbow theme of this thread and I'm so jumping on the rainbow muslin bandwagon. My old muslins are so grey and cut to pieces.

Barmy, I was told this too last pregnancy and it completely skipped my mind until after I'd gotten pregnant again. I'm sure I will get my wrist slapped when I EVENTUALLY get bloods taken at 16 weeks hmm.

When I was pregnant with dd I was so adamant that I didn't want loads of pink crap in the house. Then when she was born everyone rushed out and bought her pink clothes anyway. I didn't care as much by then, I was so touched by the amount of people who thought of us and she was such a pukey baby that I was just grateful to have multiple changes of clothing to hand, never mind what colour they were! We also inherited a lot of clothes from relatives who were a fan of pink. I just relaxed about it. I do quite like baby blue - especially on girls actually, the colour is amazing on dd so she has a few nice bits in blue.

My friends have a little boy with the best clothes ever. Hardly any blue and he looks so cute and cool, wears a lot of green which I also love - also,he has those really cute baby boy tights.

Alita, sounds like you'll have no issue with your milk coming in if you're planning to breastfeed! Mine didn't come in til 5 days after birth (vaginal birth) so it was a bit nerve wracking, all ok in the end though.

amylou85 Wed 30-Apr-14 08:02:05

Good luck amyrose! I have a sneaky ten week one I Saturday but a long way to go til the 12 weeker!

The only un stereotypical thing with me and my partner is we're not married, seems all my friends think marriage should come first, but it's 2014, we roll how we roll!

I find it so interesting to hear everyone's different set ups, so nice that so many interesting people connect through a thread, good old mumsnet! Is anyone else in Barnsley/Sheffield? I'm right on the border!

Greenstone Wed 30-Apr-14 08:05:07

I'm not on FB so wouldn't be able to join a group, but don't mind if the rest of you do so long as you pop back now and then while I'm wittering on into the void! grin

Greenstone Wed 30-Apr-14 08:09:01

We only got married last year when dd was 15months, amylou. I was surprised how many people were a bit...not judgy, but taken aback that we were having a baby first. Dh was raised quite unconventionally for times (won't say too much or it'll out me/him) but hilariously the result is that he is quite straightlaced now! Minus any chauvinistic attitudes thank fuck.

Mathssssteacher123 Wed 30-Apr-14 08:09:10

Thanks for everyone on the tips to get ds to eat- managed to get him to have a bit of custard and some smoothie thanks random for the tip can't believe I hadn't thought of that. Really not looking forward to work this morning but know it's the right thing to come back early for my students who have exams next week.
barmy I'm not immune to rubella either which was picked up on last pregnancy after ds was born I tried to arrange a jab but drs surgery were very incompetent so still not immune now! We just have to stay away from people who have it (luckily it is rare). My midwife annoyed me a little but about it as I am also resus negative she said oh you have everything wrong with you you're not going to be easy (not my fault). Is anyone under consultant care? I just had my appointment letter through to see the consultant so hope he/she is nice as had quite a few problems in pregnancy with dvt and an ongoing medical problem.
Loving the rainbow baby items idea!
Anyone with scans today hope they go well and all good news!

Miskate Wed 30-Apr-14 09:15:31

Hope all the scans go well today! one lovely thing about the scan that i didn't expect is that they're very quick to show you the baby straightaway. They don't faff about.

We were running late to the scan (traffic + husband needed to go to the loo 200 times before leaving, I'm already very prepared for toddlers clearly) so I was jogging through the hospital in stilettos at quite some speed. When we got to the scan room I took my shoes off before getting on the bed and somehow had cut my feet to ribbons without noticing, so I left a pool of blood in my shoes and on the floor. I looked like some sort of crack head.

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 09:34:40

Good luck anyone with scans!

oh dear miskate! hope your feet heal ok, surprised you were late , when I had mine I got there 5 minutes early and was waiting over an hour.

I really want to breastfeed due to health benefits, bonding, tummy exercise and the fact that formula is expensive :p but I have extremely sensitive nipples, I hate them being touched I literally squirm, is this going to be a problem?

Tigsy Wed 30-Apr-14 09:41:42

Scan day aaarrrrgggh scared!!! Just over an hour to go- the whole things still feels very surreal.

I'd be happy with a fb group as it's nice to put proper names/pictures to people you feel you are getting to know. Will stay on here and use both though so that noone is excluded. Providing scan is ok, am happy to set a private group up if you like, then people can join if and when they see fit? What do you think?

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 09:43:06

I'm consultant led not that I've heard who this consultant is or when I'm seeing them yet! Nor have I had my physio referral through yet! Feeling quite meh about my mw still. She really does seem to be doing the minimum and not bothering with anything extra. I'm not hugely worried having had these same problems previously and knowing how to deal with them but if this was my first this "care" would be seriously lacking and I'd be screwed! I mean with the spd she's just like "Oh well, nothing anyone can do, tough luck" when I know there IS stuff you can do, there are ways to ease it at home, ways to get equipment you need, certain therapies which help, she's not spoken to me about safe or dangerous painkillers, no referral yet, nothing! I had 4 mcs before 11 weeks in the past and she didn't get me an early scan. She made a big hooha about me being high risk and having extra appointments and keeping a close eye on me and nothing, nowt, niente, nada, neicht. hmm

TwigletFiend Wed 30-Apr-14 09:45:29

Alita, I have no experience bf as this is DC1 for me, but I would have thought there is enough stuff out there today to give you the best chance possible of successfully breastfeeding - stock up on Lansinoh & nipple shields in your hospital bag?! Find a mw with lots of experience & patience too, so she can help you find the best & most comfortable position for you & baby to help minimise any ouchy moments. I would guess that after a while, the nerves 'get used' to the sensation & stop being so sensitive?

I would definitely be on board with the muslin collective! My DP (ironically given the current conversation!) actually owns & runs a DIY store which sells clothing dye in all sorts of funky colours. There's a really lovely emeraldy colour I've got my eye on & an amazing peacock blue.

Hope your feet heal quickly Miskate & you get the chance to stay off them as much as possible.

Good luck for today's scannee ladies!

StudyFullTime Wed 30-Apr-14 09:49:33

alita I breastfed my ds for 6 months and my nipples slowly got desensitised, as long as you work on getting a good latch then you should be fine. Be firm with your midwives and tell them you want to breastfeed and they should help you with your latch.

Lasninoh was an absolute godsend and I slathered it on after every feed.

bunnykitten Wed 30-Apr-14 09:50:29

The scan went really well, I'm a muppet for worrying so much! It's all a bit of a blur, but they redated me as 13+2 instead of 12+1, so I feel I have saved myself a week of pregnancy grief but now have one less week to prepare! Nucal was 1.8 so happy with that.

This has all suddenly got so real!

Good luck to those having scans! X

WinterLover Wed 30-Apr-14 10:02:59

I'm consultant led care. my first appointment with them is at 21 weeks!

Annarose2014 Wed 30-Apr-14 10:03:16

greenstone I suspect we'll be given a lot of clothes that are agressively pink or blue.

But like that I'll be so grateful anyway!

And I've seen a lot online of Sarah Jessica Parkers twins, and she dresses them EXACTLY like I'd dress a girl - all multicoloured. In other words, even if they're wearing a pink dress, then they have rainbow tights on, and green shoes, and a mad cardi on. Its adorable.

So mix and match will be my motto I think.

Of course my friends warn me that after a couple of years the kids can get very bolshie about their clothes and start to demand "princess" clothes - all stereotypical pink and glitter. They pick it up from ads on telly, and other little kids, and toys in shops. And its either put your foot down and have a row at 8am, or give in and let them wear however much pink they want.

TeaNCakes Wed 30-Apr-14 10:04:27

I'm not quite ready for a FB group yet, and had planned not to put anything about my pregnancy on there until after the baby is (fingers crossed) born happy and healthy. Might consider a secret group a bit later on but not ready for that yet, but quite happy for others to go ahead.

Good luck for scans! Miskate - hope your feet recover!

I'm also hoping to breast feed, but worried it's going to be hard. Will have to look up lots of local breast feeding support groups in preparation!

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 10:08:32

Try not to worry too much about bf'ing. The thought of it made me feel queasy last time, I really didn't want to do it, ex-husband said I WILL do it or else hmm (he was a real gem) and I got myself in such a state over it. I tried it after she was born and it just worked! So I said for as long as it just works I'll do it. I fed for 10 months. However my boobs are fake which means that I can't feel anything internally (yay!) and although I was plagued with thrush and mastitis for the entire time & DD with oral thrush I didn't feel a thing. The GP actually tried to dismiss me and usher me out of the office saying I'd be hammering his door down screaming in agony if I had thrush and mastitis till I insisted he check them. At one point I was pumping strawberry milkshake instead of milk. If I could have felt any of it I'd have stopped immediately but I was very lucky and externally I was fine, no pain, no cracked bleeding nipples, all fine. And I only leaked a tiny bit once whilst shopping in Gap so I could buy a new t-shirt there and then luckily! grin It was all fine. I'd say plan to give it a try, be prepared with a small couple of cartons of ready made formula just in case and bottles which you'll need anyway for water and expressed milk, but don't put pressure on yourself or any expectataions, just play it by ear. If it works well and you and baby are happy, fantastic! If it hurts or you don't like it or its not working then switch. Even if you breastfeed it's ok to top up with the odd bottle of formula if you need to now and then, if you're all dried up, exhausted and baby is still hungry, don't beat yourself up and just do what works for you. There's no point killing yourself over it - happy mum = happy baby.

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 10:09:16

Anna if this is a girl and she wants to be princessy that's fine and I really love pretty dresses :D but I will educate her about princesses in different cultures and how they can wear any colour.
After all I will buy the clothes I can afford so she can choose from what is there :p

Greenstone Wed 30-Apr-14 10:12:49

Happy scan news Miskate and bunny! It's true, it's amazing how quickly the image pops up, it's just right there bobbing around. I enjoyed it so much more this second time, with dd my bladder was way too full for me to concentrate on anything and it was positively uncomfortable. Good lucky to Tigsy and Amyrose, pop back and let us know how you got on.

alita, it can be painful yes for the first few weeks, but provided you get the right support, it gets better with each day and certainly with each week that passes. You can put Lansinoh on before a feed as well as after and that can help a lot.

books and Nessalina, hope you're both doing OK, haven't heard from you in a while smile Also I do hope that if anyone's lurking and too nervous to join that you feel you can pop by at any stage! I was far too nervous about everything to join any antenatal threads with my first pregnancy so just lurked obsessively. This time around I just thought oh to hell with it, what will be will be and now I'm on here all the bloody time confused

Greenstone Wed 30-Apr-14 10:13:13

Spannertime - hope you're doing better too flowers

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 10:21:18

annarose - we are lucky in that DD is not "girly" and made a decision herself to avoid pink from about 3 as she was aware of all the arguements amongst little girls at nursery about who got the pink cups / plates / spoons etc. She is the one who says "but all colours are for everyone" and her fav colours are turquoise blue and purple smile She loves dressing up but has a full range of outfits to be whatever she chooses to be. have to say tho' that she doesnt watch television with adverts and we actively counter gender stereotypes. I ended up dying alot of the pink clothes she was given as a baby to purple and blues.
some friends are having real difficulties with their wee girls feeling they have to only wear pink, wear dresses and have all girly items / clothing. I think it is really sad and so limiting.
Twiglet - love the sound of those dyes you can get your hands on. does he do online ordering?? grin The dylon ones are a bit restricted in shades / options..

bunnykitten - glad it went well for you smile

I breastfed DD up to the age of 2. That was not my initial plan but that's how it ended up. We did have alot of problems in early months and i know that some women find it easy, whilst others dont. I found it incredibly emotive when i hadnt expected that and was lucky enough to be able to access excellent support from specialist unit to get us through those early days. If you get your Bumps to breastfeeding DVD - check it out and you will see our story included ... DD loved to watch it recently and she remembers feeding very well. She used to bf her dolls - so cute!

Get your hands on as much info as you can, go to any BF classes if offered and think how you will get support whilst pg. I found the support on here fantastic - if i posted at 4am looking for help - there always seemed to be someone about to reassure and guide me. I will be eternally grateful to those Mnetters.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 10:31:00

I used coconut oil for pretty much everything and the few times I did need to put anything on my nips I used that, didn't like the idea of using chemicals then DD sucking those chemicals off. I have a huge tub of the stuff in my bathroom and I use it for oil pulling, make up remover, body moisturiser, eye and lip balms, hair styling, baby balm, everything. It's my automatic go to stuff - nappy rash, cradle cap, dry patches, everything! grin

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 10:34:17

As for girly with DD I tried to keep her pretty gender neutral and she was always in jeans and some sort of punky rocky t-shirt. I did not want to ever encourage the princess thing and actively avoided it. She had as many trucks and builders dress up stuff as she did fairies and we read books about trains and firemen and astronauts and dinosaurs more than princesses but I think it's in the genetics because as soon as she hit 3 it was all pink pink pink princesses fairies and glitter. grin

TwigletFiend Wed 30-Apr-14 10:46:14

weeonion, unfortunately not at the moment, but the range he stocks is called iDye - pretty similar to Dylon use-wise as think they are all machine dye ones, but they have lovely colours. I like 'Emerald' & 'Royal blue' smile

MrsWombat Wed 30-Apr-14 11:05:37

The best advice I was given (that I remembered vividly after the birth) about breastfeeding was from a colleague who was a midwife. She said it would hurt like buggery grin for two weeks then it would start to get better, so keep at it for two weeks then see how it goes.

Well it did hurt! I had an emergency c section which I think caused lots of problems because of positioning, and feeling exhausted etc. Being in hospital for 4 days after the EMCS made things worse, in retrospect as there was no help. Things were better when I was home and had MIL and midwives to help. I ended up with mastitis as well. The HV said to top up with formula because DS wasn't gaining weight, which I ignored as the midwives said he was fine. The midwives eventually referred me to the lead health visitor for breastfeeding who came once a week to help with positioning. But around 6 weeks it just clicked and stopped hurting and we continued till 18 months. I am worried about the same thing happening again but there is a lot more support available this time around, and I hope to be able to catch problems like mastitis quicker.

My own advice for breastfeeding it that it take 6-8 weeks for everything to settle down. Be mentally and physically prepared to have a baby permanently feeding from you for those first 6 weeks, and any sleep/non feeding time is a bonus. Get your latch checked by a professional, daily if possible. (There is a BF support group on somewhere near me every weekday these days) Co-sleep and use a sling. Eat and drink lots. Read up on growth spurts and when they happen as baby will want to be fed even more during those times. Post on mumsnet when help is needed at 1am. Lansinoh nipple cream.

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 11:07:17

not too worried about the pain of feeding as I am about how squeamish I am about my nipples, same with my belly button and blood tests.

got my doppler in the post smile I gave it a go even though I should have waited for dp to get home (not til like 5...) and found the heart beat easy! at one point I could hear her super fast hb and my much slower one at the same time. I also heard the placent i think ,a slower swoosh?

MrsStardust14 Wed 30-Apr-14 11:09:10

Hi girls, can I join you please. 10 weeks 2 days today! Due Nov 24th with baby number one! We have our 12 weeks can on May 12th so very excited for that, I've already had two scans, one at 6 weeks and one at 8 weeks but it was basically a blob at that point so looking forward to actually seeing a baby that's hopefully moving around on the 12th,

Anyway, question for you, where are you planning on getting all your baby stuff from, is it just the usual culprits like john lewis, mothercare, mamas and papas or do you know of unique places that do quite funky stuff?

MrsStardust14 Wed 30-Apr-14 11:10:59

Also anyone planning on going to the Babyshow in Birmingham in May? Dh and I have promised ourselves we won't buy anything but I'm sure we will come back with a heap of stuff!

TwigletFiend Wed 30-Apr-14 12:02:39

Hello MrsStardust! -waves- Congratulations!

I haven't even thought about buying baby things yet. We're probably going to have 90% second hand stuff as on a bit of a tight budget, but planning to buy car seat, crib mattress & bedding new, probably from Mothercare.

Not a peep out of the nausea so far today (other than a massive, revolting gag when I made the mistake of gargling with some mouthwash first thing) but now can't seem to stop eating. Think my appetite is trying to make up for lost time! confused

mismylinford Wed 30-Apr-14 12:10:00

Twig my nausea has more or less waved goodbye after very sever hypermisis. However with the heamtomia i have has given way to extreme tiredness.
I agreed with second hand stuff. We have all the stuff from our first who is know 4. We had all neutral things for her so crib buggy car seats are all ok if we have a boy.
Second hand clothes are useful too. We tired to stay away from mama and papas lovely.lovely place but sortnof price range and for how short a time things a worn/ used.
Great tip is gum tree found some.great things that have hardly been used... Usually been used at a grandparents house. And look for adverts in 'posh' areas. Bargains!

mismylinford Wed 30-Apr-14 12:16:10

mrsstardust if you like originals their are some lovely shops on etsy.co.uk found some lovely things on Facebook shops. Signs etc. Keep sakes. Blankets.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 12:17:45

I've got pretty much everything I need now either second hand, off Gumtree or eBay, or with my John Lewis vouchers I won a few weeks ago. All I need to get now is clothes and a changing mat and I'm going to leave the majority of clothes to gifts as you can guarantee you'll get every aunt and long lost friend of the family buying baby grows and hats. I'll get things like a good snowsuit and footmuff and maybe a small bundle off eBay but that's probably it. I'm also going to hit the car boots over the summer for anything else I need.

amy83firsttimer Wed 30-Apr-14 14:02:33

I have scan on Tuesday. Not worried about it as had a private one at 9+4. Off to groezrock festival on a coach in 12 hours (yes we leave in the middle of the night). Excited about that too but in a way wish I could switch off being pregnant for a few days so I could be irresponsible! In general I'm just excited! Think sober festival will have it's up sides too as in remembering everything and saving a fortune. Might also possibly be last young person I do before we have an actual young person to look after!

caravela Wed 30-Apr-14 14:25:33

I had my scan today. Was really nervous, and half expecting the sonographer to go "there's no baby in here - are you sure you didn't make the whole thing up", but everything was fine, and we saw hands and feet which was exciting. I'm still finding it hard to believe that it's all going on inside me. She had a bit of difficulty doing the nuchal measurement at first but eventually managed to get a reading of 1.8mm which I guess is fairly good? I also must have overdone the drinking water beforehand thing because she started out saying "you've done well with your bladder", and then about halfway through decided that my bladder was actually too full and so sent me out to go to the toilet and then come back!

TwigletFiend Wed 30-Apr-14 14:56:05

Caravela, that was me at my first scan (8+4 then, was using contraceptives at time of conception so weren't sure when it had happened!). I waddled into the room with my knees together because I needed to pee so badly & she scanned me & said, "Oh gosh, you ARE full aren't you?" No, I just walk like this all the time... hmm I nearly wet myself when she chucked the gel on - and I do mean chucked, she didn't even look at where she was aiming!

Congratulations on your good scan news smile

Chivesmum Wed 30-Apr-14 15:22:23

Wow you guys can't talk!!!! smile

I'm dreading drinking the water for my scan next week as its so hard to get anything liquid down! On my first scan las time I drank a litre before we left home like a good girl and they kept me waiting 45 mins!!!!!! I was in a bit of a state when they got to me! After that I busy drank water whilst waiting and it seemed to be enough.

Glad the scans have gone well smile

Can't remember all I've read and am rubbish with names but

- def give crochet a go. Once you pick it up its really easy - I taught myself with YouTube last year and for Christmas made nearly 20 hats as presents - puppy, dinosaur and owl ones! And I'm no way an expert!

- dying muslins is such a good idea - will be doing that!!

- as for bf - I'm an emotional wreck about that already! Last time I was so v pro bf and read all the books and believed all the stuff about only bf and having any bottles would confuse baby and ended up totally exhausted, with thrush (which the doctors failed to treat correctly) and in tears the whole time dreading the next feed. I ended up going cold turkey which was awful - for me - DS was such a milk monster (and still is!!) he couldn't have cared less where his milk came from!!! So I'm almost scared to try again but then feel bad if I don't even give it a go. I think I will def be combi feeding from the word go and if it doesn't work out I won't be beating myself up about it.

Had anyone else got a horrible taste in their mouths? I swear that is making the nausea worse and it's showing no signs of going. I'm desperate for a refreshing drink but nothing hits the spot. Hurry up second trimester - I have high hopes!!!!!

mismylinford Wed 30-Apr-14 15:32:57

I tired bf with my first but i wasn't producing enough apparently im too small both height and weight though i would say im average. I will try again with this one only if it is for a few days again. Not looking forward to the after birth breast swelling though or the salt baths! They should tell school kids all of this that will stop teen pregnancy!

Annarose2014 Wed 30-Apr-14 15:52:15

I am going to try bfing but am worried as I have a disabled family member I take care of outside of work hours. Not sure how I'm going to be able to do that and bf, particularly in the early weeks, but I figure I'll just have to work it out. I reckon I'll have about a weeks respite after the birth and then I'll be back to hoisting and hauling into wheelchairs, whilst baby screams for food in the pram beside me. But hey, no situation is perfect.

A great comfort to me is remembering that back in the day, women didn't have maternity leave at all and would just have to get on with their usual work. Ditto for women with other small children. You just have to juggle, don't you?

Oooh by the way! Got an email this morning for 25% off ASOS till Friday morning! (You may need a student number, not sure)

I wasn't going to buy maternity stuff this early but 25% off only happens once a year! Abovementioned family member is having a nap right now, so I'm going to spend the next hour making a big shopping list!

Has anyone bookmarked any great things on ASOS they like? Share them! Being FORCED to shop - is there any better feeling??! grin

TwigletFiend Wed 30-Apr-14 16:00:23

I didn't bookmark it, but there's a lovely black and white floral print maternity dress on there that I adore - very summer evening-y. Gah, need to finish work now so I can window shop (screen shop?).

Annarose2014 Wed 30-Apr-14 16:40:20

Have spent the past ten minutes debating with myself if I will actually wear leather maternity leggings! grin

caravela Wed 30-Apr-14 16:57:46

DH was talking about going shopping for maternity clothes, but I still fit in my normal clothes, so I think it's a bit early. Don't want to spend too much on things I'll only be wearing for a few months, but equally would like to have some nice things that will make me feel a bit less of a lump. I was actually really surprised because the sonographer weighed me at the scan, and I've only put on about a kilo since I got pregnant - I thought it would be way more because I feel quite big and bloated, and was feeling quite self-conscious about it the last week or so.

I also got given that Bounty pack at the scan. What a lot of guff. It got on my wrong side from the start because at the back of the envelope it comes in it says "Baby brain? Why not keep your maternity notes in here". Which made me want to throw it on the floor and shout "Don't treat me like I'm mentally incompetent just because I'm pregnant." And then the inside was full of helpful "FAQs" such as "Is it okay if I take illegal drugs while I'm pregnant?" and absurd pictures of mothers of newborns who are so chic that their carrier bags for their designer shopping match the colour of their baby's pram cover.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 17:05:01

Annarose I may have bought leather maternity leggings

Greenstone Wed 30-Apr-14 17:19:16

Heh I am also semi-interested in leather maternity leggings smile

I want to buy a few new bits this time around, but I don't know if I necessarily want maternity-specific clothes just yet. My sister gave me a great haul of maternity tops and I have a couple of pairs of jeans, plus my waistband extender kit which means I can wear normal jeans/shorts for longer. Last time around I felt I was in and out to Primark the whole time buying bits and pieces because I kept feeling like I had nothing to wear and my bump was fairly low key.

So my new plan is to get sorted with maybe 4 max 5 tops/sweaters and just pare my wardrobe right down. I'm willing to spend a tiny bit more because it will still end up cheaper than the accumulative spending on shite that took place last time! But it's so hard to find stuff - I only want longline tops but there's feck all in the shop and what I do find is sold out or not in my size or something. Me&Em do a lot of stretch jersey stuff so I'm holding out for one of their tops.

Random, am totally fascinated by your account of feeding with implants and feeling no pain despite the horrors of thrush/mastitis. Must have been a very strange experience.

mislinford did somebody tell you that the reason you hadn't enough milk was because you were too small?! That doesn't sound right, I am 5'2 and size 6-8 pre-pregnancy and although my milk took a while to come in once it was in there was lots of it. Fennel tea is good for milk-making too. I'm with you on the not looking forward to the engorgement period though, it's astonishing the stuff that nobody tells you, if only the teens knew...

Annarose that's very tough for you, are you sure you'll need to get back into really hands-on caring straight away? Is there anyone who could give you a hand? Even another family member who could come around and clean and cook for you and stuff? It's true that back in the day women didn't have much maternity leave but I think there were generally more people around to help out with babies, the takes a village to raise a child mentality and all that. Whether you end up breastfeeding or not, do consider a stretchy wrap sling. If you have to be buzzing around doing stuff, it will absolutely save your sanity.

Annarose2014 Wed 30-Apr-14 17:37:44

Greenstone my hoped-for weeks respite will be because of another family member! But I can't impose upon them for longer - its very full on. I don't mind it, as I've been doing it for half my life, its just I never had a demanding baby before!

I am thinking about a sling, but then I suspect that carrying a sling in front of me whilst operating a full hospital-sized mechanical hoist would not be very safe! I'll work it out - I know I sound a bit blasé but there's no point stressing about stuff I can't change. Actually its a priviledge as I adore the person - I'm already seeking out some baby cushion thing that will enable them to "hold" baby safely. They'll be so happy!!!

I think I'm gonna get those leather leggings, fuck it! Imagine how cool they'll look with a basic grey t-shirt! No effort required!

Chivesmum Wed 30-Apr-14 17:39:11

Caravela - and that's why second time round I've not bothered to look at my bounty pack!! Only got free tea bags this time too!! Last time was a small can of caffiene free coke!

barmybunting Wed 30-Apr-14 17:48:20

Thanks for the info on rubella everyone. I am not going to worry about it then, I was just very surprised to get so many letters about it! A bit over the top I think.

Happy to go ahead with a Facebook group, but I won't join until after 12 week scan. Interestingly, a friend of mine who is a doctor (had her first DC in March) texted me to ask when my 13 week scan was. Not the first time she's referred to it as 13 week scan either, but everyone knows it at 12 week scan so I was confused by a doctor using a different date! Odd!

Also planning to breastfeed here if possible, but will see how it goes really. I am hoping that being relaxed will help make life easier about things like that as I normally stress which won 't help the baby much!

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 17:52:54

I too was unimpressed with my bounty pack, it seems like an excuse for an advertising campaign, not impressed that he Nhs give these things out!

Ahhh I have to wait 2 days to tell the kids and I'm desperate, I have ever so almost told dsd today but I couldn't go further than I think they'll be a baby soon as I can't tell her without her sisters it's not fair. Really glad I can let them listen on the doppler as well :D

Polkadotscarf Wed 30-Apr-14 17:58:34

My scan is tomorrow! So excited! I am 12+4 and the sickness has got worse, feeling cheated!

Amyrose82 Wed 30-Apr-14 17:58:53

Ok I NEED those leather leggings in my life!!envy

Scan this morning was fab, all looks well and measuring at 11+6 so I've lost a day but she did say baby was curled up a bit! Now edd is Nov 13th! Nuchal was 1.1 so unless anything dodgy shows up in my bloods that should be fine too so very happy grin

Congrats on the happy news for the rest of today's scanees - feels like a happy thread today!

Just had a mega nap so feeling pretty peachy - going to check out ASOS and maybe treat myself...

pinkgirlythoughts Wed 30-Apr-14 18:02:06

I'll be breastfeeding again with this baby. I think it really helps to be prepared for at least a couple of weeks of agony at every feed, and probably longer- all this gumph the midwives and HVs tell you before baby is born about "if it hurts you're doing it wrong, there should be no pain, yadda yadda yadda" was utter shite in my case, I was crying in toe-curling agony at most feeds until DS was at least 8 weeks old! If I hadn't had the support of my mum, MIL, auntie etc, who had all successfully breastfed babies themselves, I would have been certain I was doing it wrong and probably given up. As it was, I did feed him until 14 months, so all the struggling at the beginning was worth it in the end smile

WinterLover Wed 30-Apr-14 18:20:39

I'd be happy with a FB group too. im still in and friends with the group from 3 and half years ago when pregnant with DS grin

pinkgirlythoughts Wed 30-Apr-14 18:25:06

Winter, what month was your DS born in? I only ask 'cos I'm FB friends with my MN group from 3 and a half years ago too smile

WinterLover Wed 30-Apr-14 18:45:29

Its an August 2011 group

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 18:58:19

I did have a pair of calf skin maternity jeans last time and loved them but no where needing mat clothes yet...

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 18:58:44

Coke?? In a pregnancy pack?? Good lord. hmm I quite liked the freebie testers of various creams & beauty products and the tea bags, dishwasher tablets, washing powder etc (I picked up all the available bounty packs in one go) but what I took issue with was that I'm a bit of a hippy when it comes to babies, and, yes I may be a smoking, drinking, tattood, botoxed, fake boobed, self tanned, fake nailed, hair dyed, coke glugging, kebab scoffing chemical queen when I'm not pg but when I have little ones I am a breastfeeding, cosleeping, baby wearing, organic feeding, natural product using hippy and I don't use baby wipes, Johnsons anything, cradle cap remedies, nappy rash creams, soaps, lotions or anything that isn't 100% natural and I hate that they hand out products which are loaded with utter shit, frankly, in a bid to get more mothers to plaster it on to a newborn. Water on a flannel is fine for nappy changes, plain water in a bath is fine, coconut oil is fine as a wash, moisturiser, remedy for nappy rash and cradle cap (or olive oil) and natural disinfectants like lemon, vinegar & tea tree are fine for wiping most things the baby comes in contact with. I hate Milton on baby bottles when plain steam is just as effective, I hate Vaseline at every nappy change, I hate Johnsons and I hate chemical nipple creams the baby then has a good suck on. My issue with these freebies are none of them are the natural, chemical and toxin free versions. There was a sample of some stretch mark cream and it was awful stuff! You could smell the alcohol and chemicals a mile off and they want you to rub that on your tummy right by the baby. Plus it is never going to be effective with that much alcohol in it, it will dry your skin out even more! Oil is far better. The tea bags they gave out were the PGTips decaffeinated ones which are chemically defacceinated & loaded with residual shit rather than the Clipper ones which are CO2 decaffeinated and no chemical residues. The dishwasher tablets are the Finish chemical ones instead of the Ecover natural ones so presumably they want to encourage washing baby bottles in that crap, and the washing powders are again the harsh carcinogenic chemical ones loaded with pointless optical brighteners instead of the Ecover natural ones and again presumably they want to encourage mothers to wash a newborns sheets in optical brighteners. Pisses me off. Rant over, just my nazi hippy mum side is coming out with all that crap in there.

pinkgirlythoughts Wed 30-Apr-14 19:27:39

Aw, mine was May 2011. We just missed each other!

Chivesmum Wed 30-Apr-14 19:31:52

Random - you're a crunchy mumma!!!! I totally agree with what you say - I don't practice it all totally but the Johnson's' stuff I was given as a present was never used!! I used cotton wool and water for ages then moved on to reusable wipes and nappies and I clean my face every day with sunflower oil wink but I do find myself slipping into using 'conventional' products when I'm tired and everything goes tits up!! But I am trying!! smile

bunnykitten Wed 30-Apr-14 19:33:33

Caravela I had exactly the same worries as you about the scan, worrying my bump was just trapped wind!

Is there a dummies guide to babies type of book that anyone would recommend? Or maybe there's a section on MN that I haven't found? I'm the first among my friends to have a baby and haven't got a clue about anything, like I don't know what muslin cloths are for or what the difference is between a cot and a Moses basket! I'm so embarrassed! Where do I learn this stuff?!?!

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 19:35:13

random I can't afford to go all hippy/ natural but I'm making compromises where I can smile I will look into coconut oil for nipples especislly as i hate the idea of them sucking a load of chemicals. i agree olive oil is best for cradle cap! I'm intending to try to avoid too many chemicals anyway . I've got coco butter for stretch marks which I've started applying already just in case :p

I may have to upload a bump pic, it's looking huge tonight after dinner, the bottom bit is always the same size but the top bloats after meals.
For the first time in my life I'm loving tight clothing!!!

Venus2 Wed 30-Apr-14 19:47:02

Bunny I am in the same boat as you and I get confused at times. I been googling stuff that has been mentioned on the thread by 2nd and 3rd timers.

Annarose2014 Wed 30-Apr-14 19:56:11

bunny I first saw muslins last year when my friend had a baby and I was very confused.

To be honest I still am! Can't you just use bibs for wiping babies mouths?

I only know how to put on a nappy from putting XL nappies on adults!

I did my Midwifery placement and even helped birth a few babies but have no idea what to do with them after they leave hospital!

Venus2 Wed 30-Apr-14 19:59:00

Bunny I second your question. Does anyone know of a good book for us beginners to read?

Venus2 Wed 30-Apr-14 20:01:41

12 hours and 40 mins till my first scan. Please be good news. Please be good new. Please be good news...

The Bounty packs are crap, well they were when I had DD two years ago, I assume nothing much has changed.

I don't know if this has been discussed already, but first timers should be aware that you may well be visited by a Bounty rep on the ward after giving birth. MN have a campaign to stop this here but who knows how long it might take to get this to stop. The rep will want to take all your details, take photographs of your newborn and then charge you a lot for them, and may well tell you the only way you can get the child benefit form is from the pack they give you (utter shite as it's easy to find online). Don't be afraid to tell them (however politely you choose) where to go if you don't want them with you!

I don't know of any good books for first timers, but please just ask us who've done it before! I might not know all the answers, but someone here will, and it's part of going through this all together as a group.

Venus 17 and a half hours until my scan!

Chivesmum Wed 30-Apr-14 20:08:49

I got the best advice from other mums on a baby forum I was on. The thing is things are so subjective cos all babies are different and what worked for one might not work for another so it is trial and error in some ways but ask us who've been there before and we can tell you what worked and what didn't work for us smile

Muslins are amazing! Bibs get wet very quickly with dribble - or some of us didn't always use them ahem but muslins soak up dribble, sick, milk, wee and poo if necessary - you will find them very useful!!

Chivesmum Wed 30-Apr-14 20:11:09

Oh and when DH left me in the hospital after I had DS I went to the MW in tears saying I didn't know what to do with him.....and he was sound asleep!!!!! It all clicks into place after a while I promise

Can we all have a big grrr at my DH who has said and I quote 'you wanted to be pg so stop moaning about it' I am not happy! I know I keep whinging but ifeel awful still and it's so wearing. Would like to see him try it!!!

I'll tackle the muslin question. DD was breastfed so we never used bibs with her until she started on solids at 6 months. Muslin cloths are brilliant for little spillages when baby is feeding, or afterwards when you burp them and they might bring some of their milk back up. I think I lived with one over my shoulder for the first two months to catch anything that might have ended up down my back otherwise! We had at least two in each room, and I'm sure I used one as an emergency change mat once too!

I still use some now she's 17 months, good for just having around to wipe things up easily.

bunnykitten Wed 30-Apr-14 20:23:15

Thanks everyone, and glad its not just me!

So muslin cloths are very absorbent things that we can use on anything that needs mopping up. That makes sense. How many muslin cloths would we need?

Chivesmum - That's shocking and definitely deserves a big grrr!

blamber Wed 30-Apr-14 20:25:43

So much to read!

I love the idea of the coloured muslins!

Anna, 13 hours is very tough! Weeonion, 4 hours commute? I feel like I shouldn't complain, but 3 hours commute and 8 hours work is just too much for me atm. It's also my first full-time job after being a student. So all I do is work, eat, shower and go to bed. And read mumsnet smile. Well, I'm off to bed now hmm

Venus2 Wed 30-Apr-14 20:25:51

I'm glad you guys bring up stuff I haven't heard of. Otherwise I may not have heard of Muslins etc till after DC is born. Will just have to ask questions when confused as there is bound to be someone else thinking the same thing as me. Glad I joined MN smile

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 20:27:28

bunny a moses basket is an oval wicker basket, sometimes with a hood, usually on a stand, which the baby sleeps in for the first few months and is small and portable to have in the parent's room to make night feeds easier. A crib is a more solid wooden usually rectangular version, often on a stand and can be rocked or swings. Small enough to go in the parent's room but not as portable. A cot is a small bed with the side bars. Often the mattresses can be raised to save Mum's back while the baby is little then can be lowered so baby can't climb out when they are older. You can drop the side down to make bending over & getting to baby and the mattress easier. You can also get cot top changing mats which have a solid base and sit on top of the cot to make a handy changing table and make night changes slightly easier. Useless once baby is bigger as it just becomes a climbing frame! A cotbed is a bigger bed, almost a standard single bed size with sides originally but can be totally taken apart and dropped down to make a bed later. Then there are side cots/cribs or cosleepers. These can be made the same height as your bed and attach to the side of your bed making an extension so the baby is within arms reach and on your level so you can easily comfort and reach baby in the night, don't have to get up to breastfeed but "safer" according to ridiculous western ideals than traditional cosleeping which has baby in the parent's big bed with them.

As for books it depends what kind of mother you are! Gina Ford (who is the devil as far as I'm concerned) has a very strict and definite routine to the extent it's like "Mother must wake at 5.50am and be showered and dressed by 6.00am, baby must wake at 6am and be washed, clean nappy and dressed by 6.10am. Baby must have exactly 4oz of milk from left breast, starting at 6.12am and finishing at 6.27am. Mother must then express 4oz from right breast yadda yadda" and has strict sets of rules about how the house MUST be set up and what equipment you need etc. SO not my style but works for some and useful if you have to get into a strict routine if you're working or have other little ones etc. She uses harsher techniques like controlled crying. That's one extreme end of the scale and at the other end you have the continuum concept which is more my thing - no routines, no clocks, no rules, all very chilled and laid back and all totally about the baby which is great if you don't have to work and if that lack of routine and inability to plan anything works for you - I do more this style but it means DD didn't sleep through till she was 3 as you don't make them get into a routine or sleep though, you leave them to decide to do this on their own and I never got anywhere before noon, we coslept till she was 2.5 and ended up in the same bed most nights till she was 6, but she slept till 8.30, none of this 6am nonsense! It encourages baby to be part of the adult family and thinks that the baby learns things like knife safety by being worn whilst mum chops veg and at 18 months old they can use a proper sharp chopping knife to cut veg on their own... the opposite extreme to Gina Ford! Personally I think it is useful to read these books and get a feel for the different ideas and techniques but don't take any of them too seriously but I don't think it really helps an awful lot before hand, I think it's easier and less pressure to learn on the job so to speak and if you get too many firm beliefs beforehand you could set yourself up to "fail" when your particular baby doesn't do what the book says it should! For now I would continue to look around online for free and see where you might land. A lot of people like the Baby Whisperer but I didn't find it any use for us, to be honest. It was a much gentler version of Gina Ford and still used routines and certain techniques but not so strict and such a nazi about it! The celeb books like Jules Oliver (which was the latest one when I had DD, as was Mel's book, from Mel & Sue fame) and the bombardment of latest celeb mum books were more narratives of their lives rather than anything actually helpful. They were alright if you're interested in those celebs but not really a manual on baby care.

The books I found most helpful to be honest were a few on activities and ideas of what to do with baby from birth to 5, and suggested cheap, free, homemad activities to do each day like how to turn a loo roll into a rattle or kaleidascope or today's game is a sitting up game which helps strengthen their backs and tummy's and prepare them for sitting whilst being fun, or how to make window rainbows out of kitchen roll sheets and food dye etc. Those were good, I had 3 or 4 of them. Also my local NCT do a Tots About Town book which lists every local park, playgroup, changing room, restaurant, class, support group and reviews how good they are and whether to avoid them on Thursday afternoons or turn up half an hour early or you won't get in etc. That was a godsend!

bunnykitten Wed 30-Apr-14 20:27:41

Ooh, and I had read about the Bounty reps on the ward, but thank you for reminding me Misslaughalot

I got my first Bounty pack today at the scan, it was full of adverts and a few caffeine-free tea bags. Although there was a little booklet giving a week-by-week summary of what to expect which might be helpful.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 20:31:13

Muslins are overpriced squares of super absorbant cotton and are invaluable. You can use them as a bib, or to wipe up spills and puke, you can use them as a modesty cover when feeding in public, a favourite comforter for the baby, an emergency nappy for the nightmare day you get caught out and about with no nappies or shops nearby and they just loaded the last one, to throw over your shoulder when your boob just leaked in public and you have no change of clothes with you or as I once discovered a mini baby sarong for the summer day she managed a fountain poo all over her dress. grin

bunnykitten Wed 30-Apr-14 20:36:11

Wow, thanks for all of that information Random!

I think I'll leave the inevitable question about exactly what a fountain poo is for another day!!! shock

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 20:36:23

Muslins also dry super quickly which is a huge help as you need them in constant supply! Bibs are thicker and take far longer. I use DD's old muslins as cleaning cloths around the house now. grin

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 20:41:39

Lol! Poo will become a major topic of conversation for the first 6 months. They come in a range of colours from bottle green to creme caramel beige to brown, I saw my neice do a pure white one once - not sure how she managed that, and a range of consistencies from half melted jelly to porrige to solid. A fountain poo happened fairly frequently at around 5-8 weeks with DD and was usually kind of angel delight consistency but when she was sitting in her car seat or bouncer or carrier and was wearing looser clothing it would shoot straight up the back and be like a fountain, or a glorious peacock tail, a particular joy when she was in a carrier facing outwards with her back against my chest - that was a good day.

Northernexile Wed 30-Apr-14 20:55:56

Muslins are fab! We had 5 plain white muslins for DD, and now at 2.2 she insists on taking a couple of them to bed every night. She never had a dummy or any other comforter, but loves muslins. Might have to get the funky multi-coloured ones in for DC2, as DD will not want to share!

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 20:56:50

I agree with random - you can read loads and still not be prepared. You have to learn by doing and find your own way. I read Gina ford while pg (recommnded by SIL) and just wept as I couldn't imagine living a life like that. Dont get too bogged down by having to know everything and most importantly be kind and hood to yourself. Its all a sharp learning curve and still is tbh with DD now at 7. No-one person knows what's best and it all feel very confusing. Trends change in terms of what is thought to be best and you have to find what suits you, your family and your baby best.

Whilst this is DC2, I am fully prepared to be unprepared. We all can learn so much from each other and for me - its kindness, support and understanding that matter most. Some of us may have very strong views and be quite strident but we all should do what we think is best tbh and not be judged for those decisions. Its a bloody tough job being a mum and we will all make mistakes. I can only cringe when I look back. I remember ringing my mum crying on the 1st night we got home from,hospital asking "what am I allowed to do?". One of the best days ever was when my mum said to me that she thought I was a good mum and doing so well. That mattered alot in moments of darkness and doubt.

That's the kind of voice we should be for each other...

Northernexile Wed 30-Apr-14 20:57:29

Ha! Fountain poo! I remember it well. I also used to remember being convinced that the yellow poo actually smelt quite pleasant <weirdo>

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 21:01:07

miss laugh a lot that sounds awful!!!! I will impolitely tell any reps to fuck off, what right do they have to muscle on your birth and take pics of your baby!!!! I can add baby to dsds child benefit claim or get my own form if I want to thank you very much!

And just remember, whatever books have been written, they were about another baby. Nobody has ever written a book about your baby, you will do that as you go along. I'm sure this baby will be different to DD and I'll be asking for advice too!

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 21:06:57

Definitely Misslaughsalot! DD was such a placid, easy baby so we're all convinced this one willbe the devilincarnate! grin I'm quite nervous if it's a boy - I have no idea how to change a boy nappy or wash a winkie!! grin

Annarose2014 Wed 30-Apr-14 21:38:34

"A glorious peacock tail"


Hopeful83 Wed 30-Apr-14 21:41:59

Ladies I am so upset. I have started spotting brown blood again. I had thought that this was all done after having bleeding from weeks 6-8. It had all stopped and then my scan last week was ok, and my Nuchal test was ok, and I had finally started to plan and get excited and tell people and now this. Before the scan I hadn't got excited or told people or planned anything because of the bleeding and had been preparing for the worst news at the 12 week scan but after the scan I have let myself believe that it's real. Rationally I know it's more likely all ok than not but I can't stop crying. Should I call my midwife tomorrow? Or EPU again? Or GP?

Hopeful I'd give your MW a call, just to get checked out.

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 21:55:57

I think if it was ok before it probably is now hopeful smile but I understand how it knocks your confidence! I'd get some advice from your midwife.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 21:59:13

I had some bleeding with DD later on, like after the 12 week mark, and I remember pushing myself too hard and feeling something 'give' and later on I had spotting. She was fine though. The riskof mc at this stage is really, really low. Personally I would give the hospital a call and go down to the EPU just to get it checked but I would imagine it's nothing to worry about. Things are stretching and changing at such a rate that it's bound to cause a bit of damage sometimes.

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 22:04:08

Aw Hopeful. That is tough. Can you rest up and give the MW a call for info and reasssurance. Is there a EPU you can call / ask to attend?

Have you anything planned for tomorrow? Cancel it and have an easy day?

Hopeful83 Wed 30-Apr-14 22:07:32

Thanks everyone. I have wondered if it's related to sex as we have not had sex for about 2 weeks but did on Tuesday night (sorry if tmi). I think I'll definitely give the midwife and/or EPU a call tomorrow. I'm teaching all day so it's hard to make calls but I should be able to at lunch. Thanks for the support. DH is being useless so I've ended up locking myself in the bathroom to cry and then throwing up because I got so upset. I'm so grateful for this thread to offload so thank you all

weeonion Wed 30-Apr-14 22:12:39

Hopeful - is there no way you could get a sick off tomorrow? I know you are teaching all day but maybe a day of rest would help and also allow you to make calls for reassurance. Can you get off to bed early and try to get some sleep?

Thisisimpossible Wed 30-Apr-14 22:15:23

Hahaa Random your fountain poo post had me laughing so hard I was crying grin Genius!

alita7 Wed 30-Apr-14 22:16:40

Aw hopeful this pregnancy thing is so fraught with worry it's not fair... If your baby is fine it should be obvious, if not then it should be clear... nature is mean!

amylou85 Wed 30-Apr-14 22:24:51

Random I bloody love your comments they make me laugh so much!

So glad I have joined this, Had no idea about muslin cloths or fountain poos or how much breast feeding is going to kill or anything! All new to me! So Venus and bunny we shall have to work it out from these expert mummies!

Hopeful I would still ring up, when I went to EPU with spotting they said if ANYTHING happens that I was worreid about just give them a call, better safe....!!

RandomInternetStranger Wed 30-Apr-14 22:45:29

I second amy's post - my mw said if anything at all happens no matter how minor I'm to go straight to the hospital or call the EPU. She said any falls, car accidents, bleeding, fainting, or anything at all worrying and not to worry that I'm being silly or making a fuss.

Mumonabroom Wed 30-Apr-14 23:53:06

Hopeful I agree with Random, it's worth giving EPU or MW a call. I'm sure it'll be fine but for your own peace of mind. Let us know how you get on.

Random I'm also under consultant care, because I've had 2 c sections, I'll be going for a 3rd. I got a letter today to say my appointment with said consultant is October 6th confused I guess it's to set date etc but I'd have liked to have seen them before. My first was nearly 3 weeks early and with my EDD being 16th November, I'm not liking the time scales... Will ask the MW at 16 weeks.

Scan is a week away, like the last 2 times I'm convinced there won't be anything there, although I either have gas or I'm feeling some flutters. Seems far too early, DH keeps saying it must be twins grin

Good luck to all with scans and appointments. I'd be up for a fb group, with secret settings. I'm on one from my 2nd and it's fantastic. We even have the odd meet up and such a supportive group when things are great and when things are tough.

AveryJessup Thu 01-May-14 01:13:19

Had my 12-week scan today and all is well - yay! grin. So glad that first hurdle is over now and we can look ahead positively.

They did say that the baby is now measuring 13 weeks 1 day so that would put my due date at November 5th, I think? Glad it's earlier but also strange as I thought I got pregnant later than that. It's all early days though so I'm sure the due date will shift around quite a bit still. Good to think I'm a little ahead of where I thought though, if it's accurate!

Aaaaand.... we decided to get the information on gender. The sonographer said that based on her best guess we are probably having a girl grin. So happy! We have DS already so that a little girl would be lovely.

Congrats to all of us who had good scans. Isn't it such a relief to have that hurdle out of the way?

AveryJessup Thu 01-May-14 01:22:30

Yes, I agree with PPs Hopeful. You should give your midwife a call anyway. It's probably nothing to worry about as you're past the high-risk stage but it's always good to have reassurance!

I had bad stomach cramps a week ago and was insanely worried about it so I called my doctor. It was all fine in the end, just a stomach bug, and obviously today's scan was all clear but it was just good to talk to someone at the time.

Miskate Thu 01-May-14 06:19:51

^ this is very helpful, thank you.

Miskate Thu 01-May-14 06:20:55

Oops, things move on quick! This is helpful as well, but I was referring to randomise advice!

Polkadotscarf Thu 01-May-14 06:38:56

hopeful I seem to be a bleeder too! I have been to and from EPU and last visit was just before twelve weeks. My actual twelve week scan is today at nearly thirteen weeks!
Docs say that for some women it's normal but to get checked each time for reassurance...hope all ok this AM.

Elliekins Thu 01-May-14 07:28:36

Thinking of you Hopeful, am sure that all will be well.

Avery, was your scan private? I can't believe that the sonographer gave you a guess! That's so wonderful. smile

I begged our sonographer to hazard a guess and she said that it wasn't apparent at all before 16 weeks as it wasn't determined, which I know now is nonsense and she said there was no such thing as nub theory either. She told me that I'd been reading too much!l Bloody cheek!
I am so desperate to know and now thinking of a private scan, I can't wait for 2 more months!
Anyone else been given a gender indication at the 12 week scan?

Giraffeski Thu 01-May-14 08:06:36

I had my scan on Tuesday and all looked fine, Nuchal measurement of 1.5 which would seem ok too. Bloody woman taking my blood wasn't very good though, my whole arm is bruised!

Giraffeski Thu 01-May-14 08:11:34

Oh and Due date moved three days forward to 8th nov!

RandomInternetStranger DC2 due 1st Nov
ToonLass due 1st Nov
Canweseethebunnies DC2 due early Nov
BatCave DC3 due 2nd Nov
Hopeful83 DC1 due 2nd Nov
Annarose2014 due 2nd Nov
booksshoescats DC2 due 3rd Nov
CraziesTogether DC1 due 3rd Nov
RhiBee29 DC1 due 3rd Nov
Babybump0411 DC1 Due 3rd Nov
WinterLover DC2 due 4th Nov
annatha DC1 due 4th Nov
caravela due 5th Nov
Donkey36 DC3 due 5th Nov
weeonion DC2 due 6th Nov
alita7 DC1 due 6th Nov
Littleyewtree DC2 due 7th Nov
Greenstone DC2 due 7th Nov
flipflopsonfifthavenue DC2 due 7th Nov
AussieGoingHomeSoon DC3 due 7th Nov
SazHoopz DC2 due 7th Nov
Snook99 due 7th Nov
ElleOhElle DC2 due 7th Nov
Giraffeski DC3 due 8th Nov
AveryJessup DC2 due 8th Nov
MabelMay DC3 due 8th Nov
edwardcullensotherwoman DC3 due 8th Nov
Emzzy26x due 8th Nov
nogeybose DC2 due 8th Nov
Polkadotscarf due 9th Nov
RecklessLadybird DC1 due 9th Nov
MumaBex DC3 9th Nov
Nessalina DC1 due 10th Nov
ladydolly due 10th Nov
PosyFossilsShoes due 10th Nov
LittleRedDinosaur DC2 due 10th Nov
MrsY87 DC1 due 10th Nov
BJZebra DC2 due 11th Nov
MrsCuppa DC1 due 11th Nov
nickiswiss due 11th Nov
Mathssssteacher123 DC2 due 11th Nov
HRMumness DC2 due 12th Nov
LadyMillion DC1 due 12th Nov
Amyrose82 DC1 due 12th Nov
bunnykitten DC1 due 12th Nov
MrsWombat DC2 due 12th Nov
Pandamom DC1 due 12th Nov
FurryScoob DC1 due 13th Nov
Tigsy DC1 due 13th Nov
Lauraparsons233 due 13th Nov
WutheringTights DC2 due 13th Nov
Grayby due 13th Nov
movingmovingmoving DC2 due 14th Nov
Petal26 DC2 due 14th Nov
Misslaughalot DC2 due 14th Nov
jellybeanjemima DC1 due 14th Nov
amy83firsttimer DC1 due 14th Nov
Laura1410 DC2 due mid Nov
happyjessie due mid Nov
BeetleBeetle due mid Nov
Kairos DC3 due second half of Nov
Baxter2014 DC1 due 15th Nov
33goingon64 DC2 due 15th Nov
SeaSaltMill DC1 due 15th Nov
theduchesse DC2 due 15th Nov
Wineandchoccy DC1 due 15th Nov
Barmybunting DC1 due 16th Nov
selsigfach DC1 due 16th Nov
Getyourflipflopson DC3 due 16th Nov
pinkgirlythoughts DC2 due 17th Nov
StudyFullTime DC2 due 17th Nov
Snooky17 DC4 due 17th Nov
EmiliaS DC1 due 17th Nov
daisydalrymple DC3 due 18th Nov
DilysMoon DC3 due 18th Nov
stowsettler DC2 due 19th Nov
Whenwillwe3meet again DC1 due 19th Nov
utopian99 DC2 due 20th Nov
Bubba84 due 20th Nov
robynarmstrong92 DC1 due 21st Nov
Glossolalia due 21st Nov
GoooRooo DC2 21st Nov
twiglet2 21st Nov
HoracePondle DC2 due 22nd Nov
ChirpChirp DC2 due 22nd
NorthernExile DC2 due 23rd Nov
likeaboss DC1 due 23rd Nov
keeponkeepinon DC3 due 24th Nov
Blamber DC1 due 24th Nov
Moffit DC2 due 24th Nov
amylou82 DC1 due 25th Nov
maeanne DC2 due 26th Nov
ImBrian DC5 due 26th Nov
Loaf99 DC1 due 26th Nov
Sleepingstarsmommy DC1 due 27th Nov
Marzipan81 DC1 27th Nov
DanielSan DC2 due 28th Nov
WhatWouldCaitlinDo due end Nov
CarmineRose1978 due end Nov
TheWildOnes DC3 due end Nov

Elliekins Thu 01-May-14 09:12:19

Hi Giraffe, great news about your scan too, hooray!

Wee onion cleverly started a special thread just for updated due dates here;

I think the one you've got there is a bit older because I'm not on it at all! sad

Scan tomorrow!

The low GI thing seems to be working on the mood swings. I had a hideous day at work yesterday and was able to just zen my way through it.

weeonion Thu 01-May-14 09:38:39

anyone seen stripeytoes anywhere - she had a scan yesterday at my local mat hospital. Stripey hope it went ok for you!

Hopeful - let us know how you get on??

alita7 Thu 01-May-14 09:50:32

glad the scans went well smile

I hope stripey is too busy celebrating!

My sonographer said she hadn't heard of the nub theory -.- So no gender guesses from her. I saw a girly nub though and she showed me the bottom which had two lines, has anyone else seen the babies bottom what did you see?

caravela Thu 01-May-14 11:27:05

Told my boss today (in an ideal world would have probably left it till the blood results from the scan come back, but he had emailed me about some new responsibilities I might be taking on which he wanted me to confirm I was happy with in time for a meeting next week, and I thought it was unfair to say "oh yeah, that's all fine", and then turn around a week later and go "actually, no, you need to redo all that organisation now"). Anyway, he was lovely about it and very supportive and positive, so I feel really happy now.

Elliekins Thu 01-May-14 11:38:11

I can see a small horizontal line on my scan but it don't think it's a nub, I don't know... If it is then its more girl like than boy but not even sure it is in the right place!
Is it possible to post a picture on here?

Chivesmum Thu 01-May-14 11:43:34

Can I have a big moan?

I'm so so fed up with feeling sick 24/7. It's really getting me down and I'm crying all the time. I feel very lonely cos I've bored everyone with my whinging and I'm trying so hard to be positive and excited but am so worn down with this horrible feeling. My life usually revolves around food - cooking or baking or planning meals or shopping for food or even reading cook books in bed and that's all gone cos I just can't bear anything - I hold my nose when I open the fridge cos it makes me feel ill. I'm losing hope that I won't feel like this the whole way through ;(

Sorry just needed to get that out

mismylinford Thu 01-May-14 11:44:42

hopeful i hope things go well brown colour is good sign things are ok as its old blood and having 'relations' might just dislodged it. Hope things go well.
caravela its nice to hear a story of a nice boss. Mine is such a dragon she found out early as i had bleeding at work an had to go home and she demanded a good reason for me to go. Since then I've been on an off sick with hypermisis and now heamatoma on Monday she asked me to resign. I just brushed it off.

In other next thought sickness was a gonna.... Oh no back today with projectile vengeance. Yay..

alita7 Thu 01-May-14 12:18:13

chives I really sympathise! I don't properly sick anymore but queasy enough to put me off most meals which is driving me mad and is totally inconvenient. my dp is fed up of my moaning too! But you can moan all you like here!

Chivesmum Thu 01-May-14 12:51:45

Thanks - having a very teary day today ;( maybe the scan next week will help - hard when people don't know and I feel I'm avoiding everyone

Elliekins Thu 01-May-14 12:52:27

Oh chives, that sounds horrendous. I
I felt sick for weeks and it was so miserable but nothing like what you're going - please feel free to moan away.
I have no idea if the nausea would have faded regardless but (I'm really not on the payroll for acupuncturists nationwide) I saw my acupuncturist twice when I was feeling horrendous, it improved dramatically after one treatment and completely after the second.
It might have gone any way but weeks 6-9 were really bad for me and since I've been fine, only tiny bit nauseous when hungry since week 9.
I know it's expensive but I shamefully calculated that in the last 14 weeks I have saved a lot of money on the (approx) 35 bottles of wine I would have otherwise drunk!
That figure was quite a shock, about £280 worth of wine, and that's a rather conservative estimate! blush

MummyV18 Thu 01-May-14 12:58:01

I can't believe it when bosses are arsey about pregnancy illness especially women. But having said that I don't think women who haven't had kids understand, I know I didn't lol

I've got my scan today smile so get to see baby again smile

TeaNCakes Thu 01-May-14 12:58:56

Chives sending a hug, and hoping you start to feel better. If it's really getting you down it might be worth going to see your GP and considering some meds if you're not already on them?

Hopeful hugs for you too, hope you've managed to speak to someone and are getting some reassurance.

mismylinford your boss sounds delightful. Sorry to hear she's being so unreasonable sad

caravela Thu 01-May-14 13:22:31

mismylinford your boss sounds like a right cow. Totally unreasonable, a really stupid way to manage an employee, and surely she is on very dodgy legal ground asking you to resign because of pregnancy-related absence. (I'm not an expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure she's out of line.)

I have to say, while I sometimes grumble about my work, I can't fault their attitude to anything family-related: I think they really do get it at an organisational level rather than just paying lip service to it. And the result is, there are loads of women in the workplace, and people on average stay with the organisation for ages, and go above and beyond, because they feel loyal after being treated well. If only all employers would realise that being nice to pregnant women/new mums is about investing in good staff for the long term, rather than treating it like a massive inconvenience.

mismylinford Thu 01-May-14 13:42:51

I would sort of understand my boss being ... Well nasty if she didn't have children, but she has 2! So you would have thought shed understand. All i get told is... My 'condition' isn't good for the business so i should resign. Not a chance while im pregnant and off sick she can't touch me.

caravela Thu 01-May-14 13:52:20

Maybe she had really easy pregnancies with no symptoms or complications, and doesn't have the empathy to realise that it doesn't go that way for a lot of women. I think sometimes other women can be nastier and more judgemental than men, because at least men might realise that they don't have personal experience, whereas women can sometimes make assumptions about "X worked for me, so that's the way it has to be for all women, and if you're not like me you're just not trying hard enough".

Tigsy Thu 01-May-14 14:19:18

Sorry didn't get a chance to pop back on here yesterday and super hectic and stressed with job interviews etc. Scan yesterday showed all was fine. Dates have been moved forward so 13 weeks today and now due 6th Nov. would someone be able to update my date on the linked thread? Ipad won't let me do it confused

Chives hope the sickness eases off soon- I can imagine it is really miserable.

Linford I can't believe what a cowbag your boss is! Especially as you say, she has already got kids. Good on you for being able to brush it off though- must he hard.

utopian99 Thu 01-May-14 14:31:42

Linford I hugely sympathise, but also, just in case - document this as thoroughly as possible, and get as much in writing as you can. You think people are more enlightened in this day and age, but it does still happen (one of my ex bosses had 4 dc) and it's much easier winning a case the more evidence you have. At the very least you already have a case for constructive dismissal. I'm not telling you what to do though, just to cover all bases!

Chivesmum Thu 01-May-14 14:32:58

Thanks for the sympathy - nice to be able to have a moan. Now if someone could come and cook dinner that would be ace as I CBa and I have no idea what to make! wink. Have taken a anti sickness med and think it has helped so maybe I need to keep taking them.....

Those that are not having understanding from people - read the AIBU thread about inverted martyrs - made me feel a lot better!!!

alita7 Thu 01-May-14 14:57:45

Linford she probably had an easy time and is of the opinion that she managed x so everyone else can too.

chives I also hate people not knowing, some people do, some don't yet and dp has told me I haven't exactly been subtle.... well he can try hiding all those symptoms. He'd then moan when I didn't want to see anyone!

alita7 Thu 01-May-14 15:55:10

Anyone with dopplers or getting one be wary sometimes they hide :p I could only find her today after lots of searching and pressing a bit hard, I could hear the placenta fine but she was right at the back so I had to press hard to hear it and I kept loosing it.

Venus2 Thu 01-May-14 16:14:23

Went for my first scan today and entertained the sonographer with how full my bladder was. Way too full! Luckily she let me relieve myself. Anyway, the news was all positive. S/he is the right size, has a head, 2 arms, 2 legs and a healthy heartbeat. Phew! So relieved and excited. Now I can finally enjoy being pregnant and tell people.

blamber Thu 01-May-14 17:04:51

Reading the stories here I wonder what my boss will be like when I tell her. I'm on a temporary contract and only jut found out that I'm replacing someone who is on maternity leave. Oops! And apparently I'm due to work on this big project starting November. Oops! So I'm quite nervous about telling her and will put it off for a while... I only started this week. Help!

utopian99 Thu 01-May-14 17:30:56

Don't panic unless you need to! Most employers are good, or if not good at least understand employment law. The vast majority of people of know have had no problems at all, it's just a few old dinosaurs out there really..

Hopeful83 Thu 01-May-14 17:39:02

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the messages. I was having a bad moment last night. Thankfully the bleeding has stopped and I have spoken to the midwife who was very reassuring. She said unless it's red, heavy or has clots not to worry. I'm just going to have to try to calm down. Have considered buying a doppler for reassurance but worried that might panic me more if I can't find it, like you said Alita.

Congratulations to all those with good scan news smile

Chives - I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope the sickness tablets work soon.

Lindford - what a nightmare your boss is. I'm sure her actions and comments are highly illegal!

Thanks again everyone

StripeyFox Thu 01-May-14 18:03:36

Fantastic news for all the scans!

Hopeful- sorry you've been having a difficult time, I know how horribly stressful it is having bleeding. I was a total wreck when i was bleeding, and not knowing what was going on with my baby. That is good your midwife has reassured you, I hope you have a scan not too far away to reassure you even further. It really is a rollercoaster isn't it.

Sorry for doing a disappearing act weeonion - I have been really tired this week and pretty much rolling into bed when I get home. My flat desperately needs a clean but I have so much work to do that is definitely being deprioritised just now!

I had my booking yesterday which went really well, and have my 12 week scan next week (I feel quite far behind everyone else here as I'll be due towards the end of November). It feels good to finally be booked in to the system after what seems like an endless first trimester! I said I would like to be referred to the home birth team, and after a bit of a kerfuffle trying to work out how to do the referral, it was all sorted out (in fact weeonion, they mentioned another referral they had made a few weeks ago, saying the HBT got in touch really quickly so I assume that was you!).

WheresMrMonkey Thu 01-May-14 18:08:53

So good to see the scan pics!!! Big congrats

alita7 Thu 01-May-14 18:33:29

I'm so tired. I've had a busy day, don't know how you working girls do it?! was hard when I was working but I'm tireder now than I was before... If I was working now. . :p

RandomInternetStranger Thu 01-May-14 19:17:05

I'm finding the unsympathetic attitude of others quite astounding. OK so this is a little extreme being in a wheelchair if I'm walking any further than one quick run into one small shop so early into it, but it's the way it is, it's not unheard of and I know a few 2nd, 3rd 4th timers this has happened to. I get the looks like I'm putting it on but frankly they can shove it and if I see them do it I'll oh so accidently run over their foot with my chair - oops. wink It's the school & mums who are the worst, I very rarely see them, actively avoid them and have gone so far as to really obviously cross the road when I've seen one coming, SO can't be arsed with that lot, but it's DD's birthday party next weekend and then various school events coming up this term and when I wheel in I'll send the rumour mill turning yet again. Ah let them talk. They always do anyway - all small minds & empty lives with nothing better to do, glad to add some interest to their petty little days. (Can you tell I really don't like DD's school???)

utopian99 Thu 01-May-14 19:30:38

Just a bit! wink Is she friends with the children there or are they affected by the manner of the parents too? Will she be able to move elsewhere in a few years? It's something I have been wondering about with DS' school, although the decision is a way off - it's not just the quality of the school and teaching to think about but how DS would fit in with other children... Minefield!

Petal26 Thu 01-May-14 19:32:14

Laughing at the wine estimate elliekins, more money to spend on baby :-)!

Lovely pic venus :-)

School this morning then training this afternoon, managed to run into Mothercare and buy two pairs of maternity work trousers. Hope there is something in there at the scan next week, I'm sure it can't all be crisps!
I had a hair bobble holding my trousers together yesterday with a bump band over the top, not a good look! My stomach muscles must just be weak after last time.
I have felt better the last two days, the busier I am the less sick I feel, it can't all be psychological surely?! It's just the first hour or two after I wake up where I feel sicky.

TwigletFiend Thu 01-May-14 19:59:30

Evening all! Glad all scans went well, can add the news that ours was also all good, four limbs, head, heartbeat all present & correct. EDD was bang on too, so still on track for 17th November. So relieved! grin

I am gradually starting to feel less sick. Though the thought of a fountain poo made me laugh so hard I gagged a bit hmm.

RandomInternetStranger Thu 01-May-14 20:00:04

utopian DD loves it (unfortunately) and is quite popular, and I never ever discriminate against the other kids, if DD wants them to come to play or wants to go to them to play then absolutely I allow it, even with the kids I don't particularly like, never mind how I feel about the parents. At her birthday next week I've invited everyone she has wanted, and 2 of the mothers I wish a slow painful lonely death on if I'm honest, but I'm not going to upset DD or affect her friendships and birthday regardless of how I feel about the mothers. But they are the most two faced, nastiest, most judgemental, cowardly, vile lot I've ever known, and I went to an all girl school and worked in the fashion industry, trust me, I've met a few bitches and I know a bitch when I see one! wink This little one will not be going to the same school, no way. I have blatantly said to a few of them when they have tried to talk to me not to, that I will only communicate with them in writing and only to do with DD and playdates or parties. (Very long story short but the school accused me of something I didn't do and these mothers KNEW I didn't do it, the police were involved, courts, my ex husband, social services, all sorts, and these mothers were with me, they were strong eye witnesses and they refused to stand up for me, wouldn't defend me or say what they saw and what happened, they were too scared that the school or my ex or police or ss would start on them if they looked to be on my side. I'll never forgive them and they can all rot in hell after that. The stress of it put me in hospital at one point and saw my weight plummet from 10.5 stone to less than 7 and seriously affected DD. They're an evil bunch they really are and always seem confused when they say hello & I respond with don't tlak to me.)

WinterLover Thu 01-May-14 20:25:22

Any good ideas for announcing pregnancy to wider friends (via Facebook and email) all close friends and family know. Once DSD has seen the scan pic we're telling the world so to speak.

RandomInternetStranger Thu 01-May-14 20:31:27

I changed my cover photo to this (my year of birth, DD's and this one's) and left it to see how long it would take everyone to guess. Not long was the answer! grin

Petal26 Thu 01-May-14 20:35:32

Has anyone who was taking only Folic acid supplements stopped dead on 12 weeks or carried on until the dates were confirmed by the scan? Am 12 weeks (by my calculations tomorrow)

alita7 Thu 01-May-14 20:36:20

random what awful people! I hope you do wheel over their feet!

The parent's at dsds school are very cliquey and never talk to me excspt a reluctant hi if i say it first even if dsd is talking to their child. maybe it's because I'm young... One of them was very keen to talk when she first came to us, and I thought she was very welcoming but she hasn't bothered since asking questions about what happened so clearly she's just a gossip!

I'm dreading telling extended family, it's going to put a massive downer on it for me if they react badly which my grandparents will (still doing my nursing course and my mmc was a teen pregnancy so me being pregnant is a sore subject), I've also got 7 sets of aunts and uncle's to tell.

Polkadotscarf Thu 01-May-14 21:13:12

Happy scan news here and due date five days earlier than I thought! Will change it on the other thread!

weeonion Thu 01-May-14 21:17:30

evening all.

great to hear about the latest scans and so glad all is well hopeful. sweet to see the pics as well.

Stripeytoes - yeah!! forgot it was your booking and scan is next week. Glad it went well. I did watch out for you yesterday but forgot to wear my spotty satchel and had my hair in a ponytail so you may not have recognised me. I was leaving at 2.30 so you may have been in reception or round in base 2 or 3 by then?
it made me smile that they may have mentionned me to you whilst realising we chat on this thread and others! As they make so few referrals to the HBT - it was indeed probably me!

I am dreading telling work. There are only 2 of us in the whole organisation - a v small v specialist team so me on mat leave is going to be catastrphic for my colleague. We also dont have reserves to pay for my mat leave and someone to do my job whilst i am off - we are contracted by Govt who obviously dont fund such luxuries as someone else to do my job whilst i am on sick leave or mat leave. I know my colleague will be happy for me but also know that the reality will make it v v v tough for her. sad

Petal - the mw told me it was ok to continue taking folic acid after 12 weeks.