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Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

(1001 Posts)

Shiny new thread, ladies smile

I'd love to stay and chat (by myself grin) but I have cooking and baking to do. For some reason I always feel the urge to bake on Wednesdays. Something to do with GBBO perhaps?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 10:02:49

Just had it out with him...got the auto "why are you looking at my messages?" To which I replied "why should there be an issue with me looking? We're supposed to be completely open with each other. " He swears it's all completely innocent and that most of the time he ignores her. He knows full well I'm not impressed though. So, the next few weeks will either be 'best behaviour' time or a rough patch...place your bets now!

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:39

Place marking!

Wilting in a very hot meeting room, doesn't help with the sickness.

Have put a link on the old thread I think <smug face>

Fasterkillpussycat Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:55

Fingers crossed for best behaviour.

Good thread title - I need the reminder!

The fact is, Jolls, he knows it bothers you yet continues to have contact with her. Your feelings are more important than hers so he should cut contact without having to be issued with an ultimatum. Can you tell him this without sounding like you're laying down the law? Good luck.

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 10:24:57

Thanks for the new thread lyra!!

Sorry to hear he's being annoying joll, it's a toughie cause of your situation with your ex, id perhaps just explain that if he acts suspicious it's natural to think something's a bit off especially after he's been a bit silly recently and you're pregnant !

My ex lives in Australia thank god but still manages to wind dp up by having existed even though I haven't spoken to him since we broke up years ago now!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 10:32:55

Jol OH still gets texts from his ex from 9 years ago. He has a password on his phone but if I've ever needed to use his phone I have a sneaky wee check (I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself)and he doesn't delete the whole thread just messages he doesn't want me to see so I know he's been texting her. He says he hates her and she ruined his life.. why the txts and secrecy? I've given him ultimatums and he always turns it on me and makes me feel like I'm being paraniod and insecure and I'm not sure if I am... AARGHHHH.

JustCallMeBaldrick Wed 02-Oct-13 10:32:58

Helloooo shiny new thread :-)

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 10:35:46

KEGALS! Yes a constant reminder in the name of the thread - I like it.

Jolls Men eh? I think you are saying the right things if that provides an comfort. He needs to know that this is potentially a big problem. It is the hiding it that would bother me most.

I have my 16 midwife check up today, really hope I get to hear the heart beat. Very excited and anxious, and for those of you who asked (ages ago) I still don’t have my notes. I will be having words today, well DH will! In other news 2 days til holiday. So I imagine you ‘natterboxes’ will be on thread 15 or 16 by the time I get back!

Lol, Grey. I also hate my DP's exes for having the cheek to exist grin But I recognise that that's completely unreasonable and keep it in check.

I'm currently procrastinating instead of getting on with things hmm

In other news, I've ditched the new house plan because the money available wouldn't buy somewhere big enough. Our current plan is to buy a restaurant and run it ourselves, which is probably completely crazy given that there's a baby on the way. It also means we'll have to rent for a while as there won't be any money left to buy a house but that won't kill us. I've rented many times before and I can do it again.

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 10:37:55

Thanks ladies...I've decided what my standard line to him will be if this causes issues. Let's see what you all think <cough cough>:

If you've got nothing to hide STOP FUCKING HIDING IT!

Thoughts?

Fasterkillpussycat Wed 02-Oct-13 10:43:34

Oh good god, working from home today with cat sleeping next to me - no warning at all she just jumped out of her skin. Proper all four paws in the air, meowing and scrabbling around. Must have been a bad dream but I nearly had a bloody heart attack. She is back sleeping now, which is nice for her. I am still having palpitations.

Jolleigh - totally agree. If someone is not straight about something, I assume there is something to hide. Easier all round to be honest and open.

Here you are! Morning all!

What you baking Lyra?

Good luck today Mi!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 11:03:13

Thanks for the thread Lyra. What are you baking?

Joll hope you and your fella get things sorted.

I feel like I'm dying. It's only a bloody cold but I'm feeling dry sorry for myself! I've sorted out all the kids craft stuff though and tidied up that corner so I feel a bit better and less cluttered. Although as I was carrying the rubbish out to the bin the bag split so I had to scrabble about in the rain picking up broken crayons and scraps of paper.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 11:13:03

Hi everybody!

I was 2 hours late to work to work today. I am utterly shit. And my boss doesn't even seem to care. Which only encourages me. I need telling off.

Something just occurred to me about these natal hypnotherapy CDs: I don't have a CD player.

Something else I was thinking about regarding going into hospital/MLU to give birth is that DH will have to go home afterwards and I will be left with a newborn to care for on my own overnight right after I've given birth! This is freaking me out. If ever I'm going to need him, it'll be then.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:17:12

Joll perfect line smile. It's definitely the honesty that would bother me over anything.

Lyra what are you baking? And what kind of restaurant will you open? Exciting!

Mimi good luck today. I felt more emotional hearing the heartbeat than I did at my scans, it's lovely smile.

Faster my dog has dreams like that, freaky isn't it?! Nearly as bad as when he stares at the corner of the room and barks like there's someone there. Shudder.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 11:24:33

Lyra I'm also baking, which I haven't done in ages, probably be a total car crash seen as I don't believe in scales or measuring and I can't taste he cake mix. Why does being pregnant take the joy out of everything ?! Smells ok and I hope its nice, I've never made a carrot cake with homegrown carrots!
MI good luck at mw I cried when I heard our bubs' hb! It's amazing!
MummyP there's nothing worse! Bloody bin bags!

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:26:36

Fox that's a really good point, I've not even thought about post-birth. Someone tell me what happens please!

x0gawjus0x Wed 02-Oct-13 11:28:09

Hiya ive had a headache since yesterday and paracetamol isnt getting rid of it I even feel dizzy and i was sick this morning first time in about 5 weeks could it be cos of the amoxicillin what should i do? Its not from constipation cos ive been at last!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 11:31:04

It appears the other half intends to be on best behaviour. He's asked if we can reinstate a date night at weekends and is talking about spending all our spare cash this month on maternity clothes for me and baby things. Creep (unfair I know but I'm still seething).

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 11:34:11

Foxy Could you play it in your laptop?

Being left in a hospital overnight with a new baby and DP having to go home without us is one of the main reasons why I am having a home birth.

I'd rather be in my own bed with DP on hand to make bacon rolls and pour the champagne!

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 11:37:50

Comms Most of the time you get kept in overnight, and Dad's are sent home. I don't know if it's different in England, but in Scotland you are put on a ward with about 6 other new mums. My friend had a baby a few months ago and had quite a traumatic birth. Her DP really didn't want to leave them and go home but he wasn't allowed on the ward so he went and slept in the Chapel!

I am really easily affected by other people's emotions. If I am on a ward with a mum who is upset or crying it will make me so depressed!

CalltheMadwife Wed 02-Oct-13 11:52:22

It will differ at other places but if you deliver on the obstetric unit then you are transferred to the postnatal ward where unfortunately there is no provision for partners to stay overnight, think 4 beds and cots in one room and barely enough room to walk around the bed. So if you have your baby after 9pm and before 9am then your partner cannot come on the ward, but you normally have a couple of hours after baby is born in the delivery room. On the MLU there is provision for partners to stay, however if they need the rooms for labouring mums then you get transferred, you also have the option wherever you deliver to have a 2-6 hour discharge depending on type of delivery and both yours and baby's health, if any observations or ongoing treatment is needed. Of course with this option of it is your first baby and you need support from us mws you will miss out on this.

Hope this helps for those who wanted to know, same as Hotcross said this is another reason why I'm staying at home smile

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 12:03:35

At my hospital you can pay (!!) for an amenity room that is en suite and has a double ed so DH can say. There are two like this and cost £120. I will definitely be hopin that this is free when I give birth as it seems ideal.

Good in ya Jols, and glad he is making a good effort.

Keep us informed on the baking ladies. I would love so cake but am stuck in the office all day... Boo!

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 12:21:41

I've had pressure feeling on my cervix for the past two days - anyone else?!

Ugh. I am very upset. Some nasal slag from Equifax (a credit check company) has just called telling me that she cannot find me at any of the addresses I provided. Can we go through them again? 'What was your previous address?' 'Rehab' 'And the one before that?' 'A domestic violence refuge' '..and the one before that? Were you on the electoral register there?' 'I doubt it, I was living in a tent' (here she snorted. Yes..snorted) 'Do you have an address for that?' 'Are you taking the piss?' 'No' 'A field. next to a river. Lancashire. How's that?' (a snigger) Me: 'Are you laughing?' 'No, no, I've got a wee cough', 'Good, because I am not paying £75 admin charge for some pen-pushing cunt to laugh at my life circumstances.' I then hung up. I called Equifax and went fucking mortal at some supervisor who gave my arse a very thorough licking (think Lyra). I am not a thin-skinned woman, but that conversation has hit me hard. I don't know why. I don't expect anyone to fully understand what it is like to live even a short while as a homeless person but I don't expect anything less than respect when they learn of my past circumstances.

I am going to have to go out now to find someone to terrorise...

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 12:31:44

Hmm...sounds like something I need to ask the midwife about how it works in this area. I wouldn't like to be separated from DH so soon after having the baby, but that does seem to be how it's done.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 12:34:37

Ahh, X post. Sorry you had to put up with that twatty woman Pram. I lived in a tent once too for about 9 months! Although not under entirely the same circumstances...

IceNoSlice Wed 02-Oct-13 12:34:51

Today I am mostly angry angry angry angry angry angryangry angry angry

That is all.

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:35:00

pram go to Gregg's, be rude to the assistant and stuff your face with baked goods. You'll feel miles better then!

comms you can go home within 6 hours if everything was straightforward. Last time dd was born at 8am, I chose to stay for a rest (hah) and went to the ward at about 10, dh went home at 11, came back in the evening and then collected me the next morning. I don't know what I will do this time but I do quite enjoy some alone time with the baby after it's born.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 12:35:50

Oh Pram, I'm sorry that such people exist and are allowed customer facing roles. Would a banana milkshake doughnut help?

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 12:48:39

Pram what a vile woman. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Go get yourself a Greggs love.

Ice why lovely? Or are you just feeling the rage? Hope you feel better soon either way!

Thanks to everyone for the hospital info. I don't feel that horrified at the thought of staying overnight without DP but then I've never been in that situation.

What a cow, Pram. Don't let her get you down. Anyone who matters knows you're an amazing woman.

Baking has consisted some very amateurish apple turnovers and a loaf of bread to go with the tomato and pepper soup I'm making for dinner.

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 12:58:54

I cannot stand rudeness of any form from those who are in customer facing roles. Sorry you had to deal with this pram, but at least you know your life is not so shit you have to be like that woman.

I like to shit up the rude women at supermarkets who barely acknowledge my existence and talk through me at the woman across tills by asking if I can just see their name badge or asking their name. Amazingly attentive afterwards.

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 13:07:13

So few people can offer good customer service these days it's quite shocking hmm Sorry you had to deal with a twat Pram

In other news, the tiredness has struck again. I have a shit load to do for work today, then interview prep for tomorrow but all I wanna do is go for a snooze. sad

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 13:08:15

What a total cunt. You should find out where she lives pram!
Carrot cake was a success, feeling full of cake and sleepy, although fancy baking something else now smile
ice I think pregnancy rage is the in thing at the moment hope you chill out and feel better soon!

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 13:30:46

Whinge alert:

Feel utterly utterly crap. Nausea, mouth tasting of death, and needing to fall asleep at my desk are the tips of the Iceberg. 2.5 hours at work and then 2hrs of teaching still to go. Not sure i can cope. All I want to do is curl up in bed... When does the 2nd trimester energy surge happen then?!

Oh Pram what an utter bitch. I cannot abide rudeness angry

Comms at the MW led unit here, if you and baby are ok you are discharged after 4 hours. I'm really hoping for that!

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 13:33:46

How do you guys know all this stuff about your local hospitals? Have you asked or just found out online? Because I can't find out anything useful about our local ones online.

I found out online Fox

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:50:04

Pram I love that almost all of the advice you just got was Greggs related grin grin grin What a twat though, I'd be asking for the £75 reimbursing as compensation for her being a moron!

Re hypno CD's I transferred mine onto my iPod so I could listen with headphones and DH didn't have to listen to it.

When I had DS they aimed for 6 hour turnaround but if you had to stay in or chose to, then partners couldn't stay past 8pm. Annoying in one way, but at the same time I wouldn't have wanted random people there through the night - at least if a baby woke up there wasn't then a conversation between 2 parents or anything to make sleep even less likely! It was bad enough getting up for a wee and worrying about bleeding everywhere during the day, I couldn't have dealt with it all the night too. Agree though that this for me is one of the reasons for wanting home birth this time!

I think I have become upset because it has hit me that this information - this history of my life - will become known to my child as s/he is growing up. What will they think of their mum having been a homeless alcoholic? A stripper? A prostitute? Never having achieved anything whatsoever with her life? It's hit me like a ton of bricks how shocking this stuff is to those who do not know me or love me. To an outsider I appear to be nothing but a complete loser. I don't want my daughter or son to see me in that way sadsad

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 14:00:35

Maybe that would be nice! I think it's 6 at the hospital here.

Becca you poor thing. Hopefully the next few hours go fast and you can get home to bed.

I've been so calm this whole pregnancy but today I'm having lots of 'omg there's going to be a baby here in 23ish weeks!!' moments. I think it's mainly because I'm shattered and feel like my head's being split in two.

Imeg Wed 02-Oct-13 14:09:55

I'm sure that your son or daughter will look at anything in your past through the context of your life now and will be proud of you for how hard you've worked to overcome your difficulties and build a stable life for your child. And they will be lucky to have a parent with so much life experience to advise them. You've got plenty of time to consider how to introduce the subject positively before they hear any comments from anyone else.

In terms of achievement, it is a great achievement to get through rehab successfully and stay clean afterwards, and to maintain a home after being homeless.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:21

Pramella Now listen here young lady. You are going to be a great mother. (The fact that you are already worried about what your baby will think of you is a good indicator of this.) Therefore, your child will love you. You are his mum, afterall. As a child, he won't be able to imagine a life before he existed anyway. As an adult, he will have had years to work out that there is more to you than the things you list.

And as for 'never having achieved anything' Your life's not over yet! And arguably, bringing a new life into the world is the best achievement there is. (That's what I'm telling myself anyway, because if not I've not achieved anything either!)

Imeg Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:32

My midwife seems very sensible about the baby's needs not being likely to affect the actual birth and so has put me down for the midwife unit. I'm a little concerned though that the baby will be whisked away once it arrives for lots of assessment, which I feel would not be urgently required and could wait a week or so - doubt they would be considering any surgery before then anyway. Will have to talk to her about it, and make sure there's something clear in the notes so that the staff on duty at the time don't overreact because it's a condition they haven't heard of. Clearly if there's anything that needs doing which will be better for the baby to be done straight away that's fine but if it's not urgent then I'd rather it waited for a bit.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:46

Kegals all!

Just been to the gp who was about 22 and totes clueless. I had horrible stabby crampy pains keep me awake last night and wanted some advice Also I thought it was time I came clean about my stress and antenatal depression get a couple days off work. Things came to a head yesterday at work after a particularly difficult discussion with colleagues over a case presentation. It left me feeling selfcritical and uncontrollable crying AGAIN (in my car). I've had enough and needed to speak to someone. Despite her uselessness she did refer me to antenatal clinic where met the nicest Dr and mw (*call the midwife* I salute your profession). Good news is heart puffins heart beat and she's fine. They r testing my urine and bloods. And just as importantly lovely obstetrician consultant listened and advised.

Tearful, ragey ladies this is common at this time!

However it's been throughout pregnancy for me and he agrees it's depression and suggested low dose amitriptyline . Prambo I know u came off sSri but any experience of this? They're gonna monitor me I'm gonna rest (have a carrot cake & a copy of closer ds at nursery ) and start anti depressants. I've also had to tellmy bboss but that is a total relief.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:25:10

Pram please take this the right way but get out of the pity pool!!! Look at how much my DS loved you after meeting you for just an hour, you are going to be an awesome mum!!! ALL kids will be embarrassed by their parents - at least you have got a hell of a life story for them to hear about, and can offer first hand advice when they have problems growing up. Alternatively, you don't have to tell them if you don't want to; I went through a complete groupie phase (partying with rock bands backstage etc) that my DS will never know about however my mum slipped up a few years ago and I now know that my dad used to streak at concerts and football matches but you are defined by who you are not what you have done.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 14:30:18

Just wanted to add two more things.

Thanks for being a supportive bunch . I don't really know u but you have all been v kind when 've been whingeing and made me pmsl (literally!!) a lot lately too smile .

Secondly for Prambo . Ignore the officious bitch. Don't let this affect you. Sure you have a colourful past but you have also achieved so much between fishing and rehab and your ability to work in that school which takes a lot. You are very witty, incisive and honest, nurturing to others and strong. Your child won't care about your cv but it is these qualities that make you you. I have a chequered past too . I was a bit of wwild child/ slut when I was younger and I am deeplyashamed. I also shoplifted and took every drug out there. I dated an opium dealer then wasted my twenties with a stoner. I don't think any of this will be shared with my child EVER and he will judge me on my own merits. In the future who knows. Hugs.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:32:59

I, on the other hand, am perfectly angelic with nothing whatsoever to hide. <bats eyelashes>

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 14:33:53

I think you are a real inspiration pram and as imeg has said, you will control how your child learns and understand the information about your life. I can imagine thy all of our children will give us hell at some point. But ultimately you are their mum and they will live you for who you are now and the wonderful mum that we all know that you are going to be.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 14:37:25

Thanks comms just desperate to get into bed. I think it will be a 7.30 bedtime tonight!!

Cassiopeia01 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:43:14

Pram - I just want to echo everyone else's comments and say you will be a great mum. And can I just say that your post actually made me cry? Which wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't sat at Gare du Nord waiting for my train home with 3 colleagues who already think I'm mental and have now had it confirmed!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:51:27

pram you are not a loser! You've been through so much and also achieved so much. You will be a wonderful mum and you are such a strong woman!

Imeg will you need to see a paed consultant? Maybe you will be able to discuss options for after the birth with them.

Pram I can only echo what the others have already said. I think you're an amazingly brave and inspirational lady, and Prambino is very lucky to have you as a mother. And don't forget, he or she will love you unconditionally. No strings attached. And that will be all that matters in the world. Chin up lovely x

Pram, your baby will adore you. Don't be in any doubt about that. As has been said before they don't need to know every detail of your past and if they hear things, by then they'll be at an age to understand when you explain to them.

Comms, most likely a Turkish restaurant as that's DP's area of expertise. We have our eyes on one that's currently an Italian and it's just off the main shopping street in an affluent area of London so hopefully teeming with rich people with plenty of spare cash for meals out.
Might go and look at it from the outside this evening.

I've had a ruined-food disaster. My tomato soup was looking great till I added cream and it curdled. Now it looks like puke. DP reckons he can rescue it but I don't much fancy eating it now sad My apple turnovers were good though. Me and DS1 (home early from school) ate two each.

Apprentice, sorry you're having such a hard time. I can offer only hand-holding.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:58:44

Right! It's time for the Tesco shop people. Give me a meal plan!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 15:01:13

Stop being soft Pram! A little one doesn't care about your past...they care about the now. They only get judgy when they're hitting their tweens and by then they've had plenty of time to form their own opinions of their mummy based on your experiences together.

My parents were into all sorts before I came along...I didn't care when I was little (I only cared they wouldn't buy me the new care bears teddy and crap like that) and I don't care now (the last thing I'd want is to think my parents had had a boring life before my brother was born).

Breathe with me and repeat 'I will be fine'

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:02:22

fox this is what we are having roughly.
Tonight: pork belly strips, roasties and runner beans
Tomorrow: sausages, mash and peas
Friday: chicken casserole and veg
Saturday: cottage pie and veg
Sunday: roast chicken dinner
Monday: pizzas and salad

Then after that I don't know. We have an abundance of potatoes to use up, hence the potato heavy theme!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:07:18

So I've baked a carrot cake, chocolate cupcakes, lemon shortbread, almond crinkle biscuits and some sausage rolls. Meanwhile the cat puked on the couch, the dog killed a chicken and a bomb must've exploded in the kitchen, I'm not even properly dressed and OH will be home in less than an hour.

Meh.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:12:20

MummyP if you can't use all of the potatoes let them sprout and plant them in spring anyone can grow a few tatties, and it'll save you money smile

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:12:49

Thanks Mummypig. I've never used pork belly, do tell me about it.

I've never made a cottage pie either, but I think I would like it.

Cassiopeia01 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:13:38

Blimey Kara. Move over nigella!!! grin

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:18:15

Fox I did spaghetti bolognese last night, leftovers are forming tonight's tea by having beans, kidney beans, chilli powder and rice added, then done in wraps and baked in the oven with a ton of cheese on top (sort of like burritos but not quite), roasted veg risotto tomorrow night, Friday is probably take away night, then Sat DH is at some sort of rugby thing so me and DS will probably have jacket potatoes smile

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:23:07

Oh yes, Burritos are a firm favourite here. So is spaghetti bolognaise. I make a well good bolognaise. Hmm, but probably can't have 2 mince beef dishes in a week, so might have to choose.

I would happily eat jacket potatoes for dinner too. Not sure about DH though. Unless it involves meat, carbs and two veg he's not convinced it is a real dinner.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:26:39

Maybe do chicken instead of mince in the burritos? Get one of those fajita seasoning packets for about 30p, fry up chicken, onion, veg, mix in some passata and rice? I tend to make huge portions of things so I don't have to cook from scratch the next day lazy or I freeze half to use as a homemade ready meal!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:29:12

Check you lot out with your meal plans and wholesome dishes. I'm having frozen chicken nuggets and chips grin

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 15:29:43

<drools at the food chat>

I need A TGI's. More specifically, jack daniels chicken strips. Last time we were at TGI's DP got food poisoning. But he's going to have to suck it up because I've decided this is a bona fide craving. grin

Thank you, girls, I'm sorry for being a puff. Until this fuckwit made a mockery of my circumstances I hadn't really worried about my child's reaction to my life if and when this shit came out (there is public information out there about me if s/he were curious enough). If I have been anxious it has been with regards to how and when to tell him/her that s/he has a donor mum. I will try to stay rational and live in the now. Good advice, that..

Apprentice, I'm glad you have been listened to by the GP. How do you feel about ametrypteline? I am on Seroxat because without it I would, by now, be in a mental institution. I am an advocate of drugs in all circumstances where quality of life is going down the toilet. You are struggling and there is fuck all wrong with that. Life is hard and sometimes feels intolerable.Take the meds and don't look back. Allow yourself to feel weird or 'otherworldly' for a couple of weeks while your brain adjusts. Always, always remember that your mental health is everything; not work; not money; not your partner or husband; not bills or childcare. These things will only fall into place and function properly if you are well. You must learn to value yourself above and beyond how you are perceived by your work colleagues and bosses and friends. I hope that makes sense x

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 15:31:17

And haud yer wheesht Pram. Everybody has a past. You don't need to tell your future child about it if you don't want to, and if anybody else does you can break their legs. thanks

Cassiopeia01 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:31:51

I want a Big Mac and chips with a vanilla milkshake.... But I will not be having one. Boo!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:34:46

I'd stay away from amitrypitilne at all costs but that a personal experience!

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:36:14

Without a meal plan kara I would be in the supermarket every day (or rather DH would) and that is even worse than having to do it once a week, which is frankly too much for me.

I am so shattered I think I might spew.

Kara, that's an impressive lot of baking. Fox, cottage pie is really easy. I can give you my "recipe" if you like but it won't contain any specific weights or measurements.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:47:58

Yes please Lyra!

I just spewed. I can really read when it's coming on, it seems.

Morning sickness is weird. As soon as I've vommed, I'm right back to thinking about/eating food.

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 15:56:18

Can I winge. I am feeling angry and teary at the same time. Back from the 16 week midwife check and she refused to check the heartbeat ‘not standard clinical practice’ apparently. Really disappointed sad I was looking forward to it so much.

Ok, fry up a diced onion and some mince (I use a standard supermarket pack which I think is about 500g give or take). Add a mug of beef bisto gravy (yes, this is cheating) enough so the mince is glistening but not swimming in it, salt and pepper and a couple of handfuls of frozen peas or some other veg if you have no peas. Leave to simmer.
Boil and mash some potatoes (about four large ones should do it), add butter, cream and a pinch of salt.
Put mince mixture in oven dish, top with mash, sprinkle on some grated cheese and put in the oven for half an hour or so till the top is golden and the mince mixture is starting to bubble up the sides. Serve with veg.
This "recipe" probably isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be done but it works for us, is fairly easy and my boys adore it.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 16:00:52

mi that's shite, you would have thought she could of had a little check seen as you asked, it only takes a few minutes. What a boot.
Fox I didn't mean that offensively just I can't imagine my self ever doing a meal plan I never even manage to remember a shopping list when I go t shops!

Mimili, that's mean. It wouldn't have killed her to let you have a little listen.

This is why I'm glad I have my Doppler. I can listen when I want. I probably only use it once every four or five days now but I know it's there if I want it. Could you get one?

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 16:01:14

Prambo wise words appreciated.
Kara can you elaborate further? it's been a big deal to ask for help and i know also a big deal to find the right anti depressant in pregnancy so would appreciate your thoughts and anyone else'swink

impressive baking/cooking everyone!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 16:04:36

Weird seeing other people's recipes Lyra! Especially when there are such subtle differences!

How do you do it, Jolls? I think cottage pie is one of those where everybody has their own recipe.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 16:14:28

Lyra I do it basically the same way as you, but tend to throw in some lentils to bulk it out a bit, and put more veggies in rather than serving veg on the side smile

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 16:22:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BakingEating Wed 02-Oct-13 16:22:46

Finding all this talk of baking very confusing... smile

Lyra there's a Turkish restaurant round the corner from my work and it is AMAZING. It's actually part of a chain of restaurants here called "bona'me". If you're looking for ideas Germany is probably the home of European Turkish restaurants so it might be worth researching.

Hungry now. Think tomato and mozzarella with pasta for dinner this evening. Dribble.

x0gawjus0x Wed 02-Oct-13 16:25:49

How strange lyra just seen your post and ive got mine in the oven as i read it haha

Feeling quite regular movements really low in my stomach above me foof i love it :D eee!! 18+2 xoxxoxo

There's millions of Turkish restaurants here too, Baking. Every town seems to have one. DP has been a chef for 20 years so he has definite ideas for the menu. It won't be kebab and chips, that's for sure.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 16:40:21

Kara don't u dare feel idioticsmile Thanks for sharing. Did you od on them or just take the packet as prescribed? wasn't clear! I'm only looking for a small dose to give me a lift and help me sleep also.

Sorry to hear the treatments u got didn't help..sometimes with counselling it is about timing and may not ve been a good time for u. Glad that dog therapy helped. Having a baby can also change your life so positively ime.

cottage pie...I'm on it.smile

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 16:42:07

I went to a Turkish resturant in central London the other day and it was pants! If you can do it well it will be delish though, and definately more space for good ones!!

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 16:43:31

They will definitely help you sleep apprentice DP was prescribed them a while back for nerve pain in his face. Before I got pregnant if I ever wanted a really good nights sleep I'd take half of one (25mg) and it put me in the deepest, loveliest sleep ever! grin

Apprentice I've taken them for pain as well, though it didnt help me in that aspect. Does make you sleepy though!! And very, very thirsty if I remember correctly!! I'm so eased you're getting some help, it must be such a weight off x

I miss baking so so much!! I cannot wait to be bake to my Mary Berry self wink

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 16:55:43

thanks maybe & hottie for ur advice. I confess round the ODD co codomol in the past when I've had difficulty sleeping and would love the feeling of sleeping for more than two hours wink

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 16:57:57

Apprentice I'm sorry I can't talk about it, I'm glad your getting help tho smile

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 17:03:27

Lyra - I have mushrooms in mine too and put in raw sliced carrots at the same time as the stock (which normally has a splash of red wine added). As well as a tablespoon of tomato paste for richness. And I seem to use more onion with a clove of garlic. And I only put frozen peas in once I've taken the meat mix off the heat entirely. And sometimes I get herby lol. With a bit of lea n perrins grin And we serve with beans and pickled red cabbage.

Come to think of it, I just don't do things very simply.

Cottage Pie butties work just as well as normal pie butties though wink

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 17:07:18

fox dh went to the co op early on Sunday for bacon and came back with bargain pork belly strips for £1.50 and chicken breasts for £1.50. So I'm just going to roast the pork belly strips, they won't take long, maybe 20-30 minutes with a little oil, salt and pepper.

Cottage pie is really easy. I think everyone's recipe is slightly different though. Fry onion, carrot and mince until mince is browned. Crumble in a beef stock cube, add a little water, peas and I put in a tin of beans which is probably really weird but my mum always did it and it tastes good! Top with mash and cheese and in the oven for 30-45 minutes.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 17:07:57

Kara no worries smile

My cottage pie includes celery, carrots, onions, garlic, bacon, tomato puree and a bit of flour (before the stock goes in and to bind the veg, bacon and puree together). My mash includes cheese and nutmeg. Spectacularly sublime.

Why was your post deleted, Kara? It's fucking Censorship Central round here at the moment hmm

Mimil, what a sour-faced slag. I'm sorry you're disappointed sad

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 17:14:00

Are we all on the cottage pie then tonight?I've got the spuds simmering....

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 17:22:48

Has the Martian Mole struck again?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 17:23:11

Yep, mee too for the flour...nice thick gravy grin

I'm actually getting a takeaway curry tonight...DP is attempting to cheer me up.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 17:30:06

I asked for it to be removed pram

Pram your recipe is the same as mine!

All this censorship is getting a bit daft isn't it. Hope you're ok Kara

Sorry, cross post Kara smile

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 17:40:20

No cottage pie in Broughty Ferry tonight I made OH pork meatballs with gravy and garlic&herb crusted tatties. He has strange tastes! I'm in bed already so no supper for me tonight.

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 17:43:00

Thanks Guys - just such a shame that practices vary so much from area to area and hospital trust to hospital trust. Such a simple thing which I thought would be lovely for bonding and just another thing to assure me all is ok. And denied because it is not standard practice.

All this talk about food is making me hungry! And i'm still at work... and then an hour home in London traffic. Grr. Tonight is supposed to be date night but I need to pack for holiday which isnt going to be simple as I appear to have a rather large belly! shock

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 17:51:19

Have a fab holiday mimi! Where are you going?

Kara feel better soon.

No cottage pie for us tonight. That's later on this week. I'm looking forward to it though! The kids are tucking into their dinner and I'm jealous but I'm waiting for dh to come home. He is picking up his car from his dads garage where it had an mot, so he had to get the train today and the one he was meant to come home from work on was cancelled so he won't be back til the kids are in bed.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 17:53:41

One more hour of tutoring then bed... One more hour of tutoring then bed...

As you were Martians, just withering to myself, trying to get through the next hour!

ScumbagMarbieAndTravellerKen, do you use the BBC Good Food recipe then? It has red wine in it, too, but I omit that.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 18:05:09

We're going to pizza express and bowling with some of DP's friends. I just want to eat cottage pie in bed. sad

I do indeed PramInACaravan. That and my ridiculously large collection of books!

CalltheMadwife Wed 02-Oct-13 18:16:26

We're having chicken fanjitas when OH gets home, I've not prepped them yet though, still in bed and need to have a shower to de-stink and steam this cold out of me.

The mw didn't listen to the FH at my 17 week appointment either mimi not to worry though as there is no reason to listen in, sorry to sound all practical but if they couldn't find it what would you do? I know I'd freak out, unless you're concerned and had pain/bleeding try to trust in your body and pregnancy being a natural occurrence, women have done this for centuries way before scans and dopplers. I have access to dopplers all day at work but have not listened in, no reason to at this early stage smile

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 18:43:32

Thanks for the cottage pie recipes ladies. I'll make one soon.

No way could I cook anything after work though. Too knackered. DH has made cheese toasties, gone to Asda and will be doing eggs on his return. I want soft boiled but he won't believe me that it's OK if they are lion stamped!

Wish there was a Turkish restaurant in Kendal. We've got nothing beyond the usual Italian/Indian/Chinese.

I forgot Worcester sauce!

A proper cottage pie takes 2¼ hours from prep to finish, so I'm not surprised you can't face it when you get home from work, Foxy. Save it for a Sunday afternoon.

MaybeIt'sBecauseI'mAnIlliterateWorkshyTwat, the majority of my dishes are sourced from t'BBC Good Food website.

Where is Rosyran? sad

IceNoSlice Wed 02-Oct-13 18:56:21

What a day. Oscillating between irrational rage and verge of tears. Nothing particularly happened (thank goodness) but I feel like I've been through the wringer. It's all because of overdoing it: work, family and no sleep.

I want cottage pie. But it's fusilli Bol from the freezer for us, in front of bake off on iplayer then bed.

Pram and Apprentice I had stuff to say but the others beat me to it. flowers for you both.

Lyra, thanks for being so lovely before (and everyone else who lied so beautifully about me being a good person) smile

I honestly love you lot.

Ice, we love you on 'ere, so let your stupid hormones do their thing. Enjoy guffawing at Mel on GBBO when she makes her 'ginger dick' comment. You'll be tee-heeing, I promise. Thanks for the flowers; pissy dog daisies are my absolute favourite.

April13 Wed 02-Oct-13 19:00:51

Been a while again lol! So busy at work, but am keeping up to date on Facebook! This thread has made me hungry, so ive made macaroni cheese with fried streaky bacon and spring onion through it topped off with tomato abd cheese browned under the grill grin

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 19:01:40

pramzilla I personally think your an ersehole.

lumpylumps Wed 02-Oct-13 19:15:26

My auntie lives in broughty ferry Kara

Pram, it's all been said but you should be proud of your past, it's made you who you are and has the best ending!!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 19:35:20

Ice you deserve an early night and a good sleep. I hope things are brighter in the morning!

Dh returned home with bags full of treats. His mum had taken him to the co op and gone round going "do you want some of these?" And chucking it all in. She's a bloody star she is. We have chocolate, juice, beer for dh, cheese, crisps, cereal bars. Basically stuff I never buy because we don't have the extra money. What a great MiL I have.

JustCallMeBaldrick Wed 02-Oct-13 19:58:08

We were going to have cottage pie too, only the kids decided they 'don't like it', so we had mince, mash and veg instead grin

April, your tea sounds like the dog's ballsack. Yummy!

Ice, I meant Sue not Mel!

Kara, you cheeky minge.

Balldrick, that cracked me up, did that! Kids..

All hail MummyPig's MIL!

PainAuxRaisins Wed 02-Oct-13 20:40:35

Bloody hell - 5 pages into the new thread already??? Have skim read to the best of my ability re. annoying exes, hypnobirthing, thread censorship and 2nd trimester mood-swings etc. Can empathise with a few of those. Work is still mental hence lack of posts plus got 1st hot flush today in middle of office (madwife - is that normal?? I though that was something you got in the menopause??)

BadlyWrittenPoem Wed 02-Oct-13 20:48:46

Just managed to accidentally post this on the old thread so reposting...

I can't believe we're six pages into a new thread since yesterday!

grey I just had the hypnobirthing book/CD and I also downloaded a random hypnobirthing MP3 onto my ipod which I listened to (or mainly fell asleep to) quite a bit. The CD and the MP3 I had did both sound pretty silly (I used headphones because otherwise DH wouldn't have been able to resist making silly remarks and making me laugh at it) but if you just go with it/ignore any bits you don't want to try then it's great.

I want to know what Pram said.

gawjus there are loads of constipation meds that are safe to take in pregnancy - if you ask your Dr or pharmacist they should be able to give you something. I'm on lactulose and eating dried apricots and drinking prune juice because constipation is a side effect of the medication I am on for sickness aside from the fact that it is more likely in pregnancy anyway. DO make sure you are drinking plenty as dehydration can make it worse.

Cass, hope your trip to Paris wasn't too tiring.

At my hospital you stay in the room you gave birth in unless it's busy in which case you're transferred to the post natal ward but visiting hours are still the same. I think it's something like 10am-8pm although DH stayed later than that when DD1 was born because we were supposed to be being discharged and then weren't. (DD hadn't fed and the MW went on about how we wouldn't have any help with feeding problems if we went home although in actual fact we didn't have problems until after we were home anyway.) Being able to all stay together is another factor in my choice of a homebirth. It's also much nicer using your own bathroon than the hosptial one.

Pram I am cross on your behalf at the rude people at Equifax!

"I think I have become upset because it has hit me that this information - this history of my life - will become known to my child as s/he is growing up. What will they think of their mum having been a homeless alcoholic? A stripper? A prostitute? Never having achieved anything whatsoever with her life? It's hit me like a ton of bricks how shocking this stuff is to those who do not know me or love me. To an outsider I appear to be nothing but a complete loser. I don't want my daughter or son to see me in that way"
Pram, I've known you online for about two weeks and I do not think you are a complete loser. Everyone has things in their past they are not proud of (and anyone who says they haven't is probably lying) and you have managed to turn your life around which in my opinion is a huge acheivement. You will be your child's mum and he or she will love you and will not see you as a complete loser.

apprentice, antenatal depression is common in hyperemesis sufferers so I've come across quite a few people who have been put on amitryptilene - I'm guessing it must be the anti-depressant of choice for pregnancy as it's the one I've always hear mentioned.

I've spent most of today in bed after having gone to out of hours GP last night about a very painful boil which makes sitting rather difficult. blush I'm now on antibiotics (which have made me feel really sick just when I was almost feeling normal) and paracetamol and codeine. I was told that if it's not improving by tomorrow morning I have to go see my GP as it may need to be removed so have had a hot water bottle on it half the day in the hopes that that will help speed up the healing process.

But on the plus side, since DH was home due to me being ill he went and picked up a copy of my slapped cheek results and I was definitely already immune. smile

April13 Wed 02-Oct-13 21:01:03

pram it was grin however, with the amount I've eaten in the last week I think I'm going to give birth to a food baby!

Never commented earlier, but f*^k equifax! Everyone else is right, we all have pasts etc, makes you who you are today.

Not read about hyponobirthing, but have started reading about epidurals, diamorphine and general anesthetic......

liberuna Wed 02-Oct-13 21:24:36

pram ditto on bwp said, you is brilliant and your experiences (good or bad) have made you who you are today. One way to look at it is, who is going to have the best advice in to the world to give to little Prambino?

On phone so forgive lack of names - thanks to those with boils abscesses, and pains and going through depression . Lots of rest, keep hydrated, take appropriate drugs and of course keep talking to the rest of us.

Exes - yuk I hate them all. i have same probs with OH ex keeps calling about random crap. OH trying to be nice, would meet up for 'catch-up' drinks but plan them for when I was busy with work or other friends. angry I told him that it felt like sneaking behind my back and that if he wanted to see her (not that often) he should do it whenever.
Bad news is that they are still friends because they only broke up because she didn't want kids. Good news is that because we are now on baby front we are hearing less and less from her. (small victories)

I think it was kara Big Round of Applause for the baking feast wow!
All your food talk had me starving so made cod and a cheese sauce served with pasta and peas yum yum yum

BWP, you almost made me cry and I'm rock-hard, me, not Thank you for your words. When I say I feel like a loser it is largely in financial and career terms. I had to abort my degree only months before graduation as I had become too ill with my addiction to continue. Tutors and students alike were very concerned at my state and knew I was very ill and in-and-out of hospital from Christmas onwards. After three years of hard work, and being on the verge of a first class degree, I had to drop out. I know I make light of my unemployed status on this thread - and believe me when I say I made a conscious choice post-rehab to opt out of the rat race - but when I read of all your successes in career and education and family I often whimper at my own failures.

Don't get me wrong, it is what it is and I am grateful to have such a lack of stress or competitiveness in my life that careers so often bring. But I grieve the freedom and pleasure that money brings and I fear my child will think less of me for having not graduated and fulfilled my potential. Please don't all go nuts; I know that's absurd but that's how I feel. I will never return to education again. I never want to have to study again. There are too many horrendous memories of what happened in (and out of) lecture halls. I feel horribly thwarted academically but am not prepared to do anything about it. I fear I would end up back on the drink through sheer force of high expectations of myself. I don't want my lack of ambition to rub off on my child but I fear I will not have a leg to stand on if s/he were to drop out.

I am sorry this post is so long, these are things I bury on a daily basis; the fear of being unfulfilled and never having money or a mortgage again, never being intellectually challenged or proud of my work ethic. I joke a lot on threads about being on benefits but I pray this baby brings me the ultimate fulfilment, otherwise I'm fucked.

Please don't all feel the need to respond to my last post. It really was just a running dialogue that plays over-and-over in my head and needed to be put down on paper, so to speak. Please, no need for input. I know you all understand thanks

liberuna Wed 02-Oct-13 21:29:44

By the way - for those not on facebook we are arranging a London Meet up

A Friday in November at Waterloo station - nothing's confirmed yet so if you would like to join and/or dates, location etc are not compatible please let me know smile

and for the grammar police is that apostrophe correct?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 21:54:27

Your apostrophe is well placed liberuna wink

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 21:57:06

You have a good point though -

There is also a North West Meet Up for those of you not on Facebook...get in touch if you're interested. Details all yet undetermined but likely to be somewhere in Manchester City Centre

SuperMuddle Wed 02-Oct-13 21:57:51

Well fuck me sideways, six pages into thread eleven already??

pram, although my circumstances are very different from yours, I understand about feeling you have not achieved what you 'should' have done. I can't add any more than others have already said, but I have massive admiration for you and what you have achieved.

lib, in my capacity as an unbearable grammar freak, I can confirm that your apostrophe was indeed correct, as "nothing's" is a contraction of "nothing is". I will now stop being unbearable at least for now

Recently got back from yoga. I feel ace, and thoroughly recommend it to anyone who is interested.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 21:58:32

Lib yes to the apostrophe smile

OwlinaTree Wed 02-Oct-13 22:11:13

pram that phone lady was a cow. Ignore her. Don't worry about what your child will think. You are his mum and he will love you for you. You have achieved a lot. Many people can't come back from addictions - you have.

Was it Lyra who said she was going to open a restaurant with her DH? I would love to do that with my DH , probably a cafe tho, as I don't want to work evenings.

BakingEating Wed 02-Oct-13 22:12:44

pram you shouldn't feel like that, but I understand where you're coming from because we all feel these pressures to a greater or lesser extent. Looking at it another way, I've done well academically and have a job that frankly I feel like I don't deserve. But I'd sacrifice so, so much of that for just a scrap of social confidence, the ability to know what to say and to be able to remember that how I interact with people does actually have an effect on them. Believe me, this brings it's own parenting worries, lots and lots and lots of parenting worries.

BakingEating Wed 02-Oct-13 22:17:52

Oh plus, for the first few months, baby will just think of you as "big milky orbs", after that we're all just winging it. All of us, all the time.

PainAuxRaisins Wed 02-Oct-13 22:51:13

Oh pram - I can relate. I've always wondered what kind of job I'd be in if I hadn't screwed up my A-levels and before getting pregnant with DD1 I despaired at my routine office job. But now so glad I didn't have a high powered 'career' as I would have found it so hard to give up. When DD came along it put everything in perspective - to quote you, it really was the ultimate fulfilment (so much so I'm now onto baby 3!). I'm sure it will be the same for you. Put the past behind you where it belongs - you have a really exciting new chapter starting very soon and you're going to love it xxx

Crikey, my heart actually soared when I read your posts, Pain and Baking. Pain, I have always, always suspected that motherhood would be my panacea; the answer to all the shitty turmoil and pointlessness which has gone before. I know it's going to be hard and unwieldy, torturous and heartbreaking too, but who cares? I'm going to be a mum! smile

Baking, being a gregarious and effervescent sort of twat it always startles me to learn that not everyone is like me (and thank fuck for that small mercy). What I mean is, I look upon some of you as sort of demi-gods in that you clearly have ace careers and earn wads of dough and work really, really hard for it, which allows you to have big cars, french doors and fairy lights. It doesn't occur to me that you may feel thwarted or unfulfilled in all sorts of ways that I could never imagine. This sounds wrong but thank you for that, I mean it.

Pram, I won't go on and on but that baby of yours will more than make up for the lack of a career, I'm sure. And it's a hard-fought-for baby so a major achievement to boot. I do completely understand how conflicted you feel though. Just do your best with what you have. Nobody can ask more of you than that, not even yourself. Wish I could give you a rl hug.

Owl, yes it's me with the crazy restaurant plan. It's just that this is probably the only time in my life that I'll have an opportunity like this, with XP buying out my share of our house, so I could go the safe route and use the money to buy another house or take a big risk and give me and DP the chance to work for ourselves, which we've both always wanted. It could all go belly up and leave us broke but if I don't take the chance I'll never know.
We went to see one tonight, disguised as regular customers so we could see what the place was really like without the sales pitch. It's really tiny and on three floors of a little Georgian building and it's got wonky stairs and other quaint stuff. And it was really busy ion a Wednesday night which bodes well. And it's in a great position, just off the high street and moments away from the green. I waaaant iiiittt!! grin

Madwife, I know there's no medical reason to listen to the FH right now but it's nice to listen in every now and then. There's something magical about hearing your tiny baby's heart galloping away.

I'm so bloody knackered after a day of cooking, cleaning and dashing about sorting stuff out. And I only got three hours' sleep last night so I'm ready to drop but will probably read in bed for a while first.

I also am somewhat lacking in confidence most of the time so I'd also trade some of what I have materially for some of your gregariousness (is that a word?), Pram. It's something that can't be learned in a school or bought so it's a precious thing.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 07:11:32

DP just woke me up to tell me to turn my alarm off (for 7:30) as he's going to take me to work and will wake me up (at 8). I'm obviously now wide awake. Think he was trying to be nice??

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 07:11:39

At 7am on days I have to work, I am a barely human zombie. Today is my day off, so why the frickin' smeg am I wide awake now???

Anyway, good morning all grin

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 07:12:53

Haha comms, cross- posted! Bless your DP, I think he was...

Beccadugs Thu 03-Oct-13 07:28:49

I've definitely got a cold. Would it be wrong to call in sick? I can't as I have stuff to do today, but a girl can dream...

x0gawjus0x Thu 03-Oct-13 07:40:13

Shreddies for breakfast although im half tempted to reheat some of last nights cottage pie lol!

I bought my first baby outfit today a pink thumper onesie its so cute im in love roll on the next 20 weeks...

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 07:45:26

Interview day confused

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Oct-13 07:46:16

I woke up at 3am with a stitch like pain in my side and it's still there. Halfway up my tummy on the left hand side. Worse when sitting or lying and when breathing in. I haven't got time for this shit today!

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 08:08:21

Good luck Jolls smile

Good luck, Jolls. Bleddy hate interviews, me.

No, you're not dreaming, I actually am up at 8.15. Can you tell I'm signing on? hmm

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 08:15:38

Ladies, there's a groupon deal today for a Kurvi Match Pram and Pushchair. Down to £165 from £345. Worth a look for people on a budget.

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 08:18:58

Thanks comms & Pram. I'm not too shabby with interviews to be honest but had hoped to avoid this one altogether...I've technically already done it.

Fair play to the company though...they make sure even those they approach go through the same process as those who've applied off their own back.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 08:25:58

Did you wet the bed Pram wink

Comms, I had forgotten there were two eight o'clocks in the day.

I'm bored.

Are you all on trains or watering office plants or summat?

I like plants.

..but not them working-class spider plants. They're shit.

<picks nose>

<flicks at cat>

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 08:45:09

I'm in the office Pram but not watering plants!

Rockchick1984 Thu 03-Oct-13 08:49:07

I'm still in bed blush

Not got any plans today which is pretty unusual, so don't think I can get out of having to do some housework. I've not planned this very well!!

Jolls, where do you see yourself in five years? <interview head tilt>

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 09:01:37

watching cbeebies under blanket mustering nerve to phoning in sick to boss again shock

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 09:02:22

goo luck joll

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 09:03:00

Good luck jolls!

pram, if you're bored, you can come and clean my house...

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 09:05:15

Good luck JolleighGoodAtInterviews, it's in the bag!

Pram leave the poor cat alone.

Day off with DS day smile. Still a lot of dribble but he slept better and I can see those lower canines so hopefully we're coming out of this bout of teething. Considering going to Mucky Pups at the children's centre. Have a good day all.

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 09:05:57

Good luck joll!!!

Ah that explains why you're awake pram, I thought I was daydreaming wink

We currently have the nice removals men putting all our stuff in storage and I've been cleaning for 2 minutes so I smell like bleach already yuk

Dp is helping them it is quite funny to watch as they're very tough looking polish men and dp, well... isn't.

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:05:58

Good Luck Jolls! Report back ASAP please!

Good luck Jolls smile

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 09:11:38

Well Pram, I see myself in a decision making role within the business in 5 years time and am very keen to progeess my journey through the role we're discussing today. This role will help my plan not only by increasing my own profile, but also exposing me to new areas of the business and therefore expanding my body of knowledge wink

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 09:14:05

Ta ladies. Interview is in about an hour so I'll report back after lunch (it's also pay day so retail therapy is going very be my 'wind down' of choice grin)

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:18:11

Hire that woman immediately!

I'm puking with a throbbing head. I thought a bacon sandwich would be a good idea (hangover style) but it really, really wasn't.

In other news... It's a BOY!

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 09:25:36

congrats Edamame ...I already have a lovely boy and would be chuffed with another.

I've left a message but boss hasn't called back and I'm getting really stressed. I've convinced myself she's angry for taking sick days and for my fuckups at work. someone hold my hand pls. sad

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 09:26:06

Ahhhhhh edamame!!!!!! Welcome to the Martian boys club where there are mud pies and worms a plenty! grin

x0gawjus0x Thu 03-Oct-13 09:36:23

2 boys and 3 girlssss?!? Eee :D x

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:43:46

It's still early Apprentice. She's probably stuck in traffic, drinking coffee or having a meltdown in the office bogs wishing she wasn't such a bitch <totally inappropriate, maybe you like your boss...>

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:47:16

Thanks smile

Hope your move goes smoothly Grey

Rockchick1984 Thu 03-Oct-13 09:48:03

Congrats Edam!!

Apprentice even if she is angry she can't do anything about it except silently be pissed off, so don't worry. I doubt if that's why she's not called you though, she's probably just busy.

faithfulandtruthful Thu 03-Oct-13 09:52:22

Ice Thrilled to hear you had a better night. Hope you're (or rather he) is over the worst.

Edam Congrats on the blue result.

Since I was last on baby has continued to move pretty much constantly and I am starting to wonder if I have a baby insomniac since it moves even whilst I am on the go. It liked going on the bus (I think it was the vibrations). I am also getting some wicked hormone headaches (the kind pain killers don't touch) but I was expecting them as my body just isn't that keen on progesterone, was hoping to make it to 20 weeks before they kicked in so I could think well there's less to go that there has already been but hey oh.

Hope you all have a good day, I am planning a french/apple themed pudding baking session, one Tart Tatin (you cook it upside down in a pan and turn it out at the end) and one Tart aux Pomme (that's apple tart to an English person!).

F&T

BakingEating Thu 03-Oct-13 09:53:29

Hope it's gone well Jolls and congratulations Edamame

It's a bank holiday here so me and dh are planning our last two trips back to London before baby is born. I'm wondering if there's anything I can get baby that will link her/him to the UK. I was wondering what the smells, tastes and (little) toys are that remind you most of your babies or your own childhood. For me, Fairy non-bio washing powder smells of clean children's things, and reddy brek is the taste of breakfast (although I'm sure we'll visit again before we get to that stage). So what (hand luggage sized) would you get?

JustCallMeBaldrick Thu 03-Oct-13 10:24:10

Congratulations on your blue bump edamame

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 10:28:56

Baking that's a lovely idea. Fairy and Reddy Brek definitely! I can't think of anything off the top of my head but I'll get back to you smile

Edam congrats on the boy!

Grey hope the move part one goes well! We haven't even started packing yet!

Ice so glad you've had a better night.

I've pounding headache today. Not sure I'm going to make it to 5pm! sad

RaspberrysAndIcecream Thu 03-Oct-13 10:30:57

New thread - pg 8!!! I think I've caught up!!
Hello!!!!
I'm reading a lot but not really posting at the moment. Not really got much to say?!
I think I felt the baby on Sunday morning but I'm not sure?!! Was laying in bed with dh and he had his hand on my stomach, we were chatting about the baby and I felt these sort of bubbles in my stomach, right underneath his hand. I was only 15 + 1 and this is my first baby so from everything I've read it's to early but I don't know what else it could have been?

Pram - what the hell with the bitch on the phone - you'll be a fab Mum, please don't give that cowbag a second thought.

Good luck with the job interview Jol

You're hired, Jolls, now go and water them plants.

Congratulations, Edam! thanks

Apprentice, please don't worry what others are thinking, even if she is your boss. You are doing the right thing being off work x

Thanks, Rasp smile

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 10:50:17

Pram the only plant in my office is a pathetic looking cactus that no one ever waters. There is a sign in the list encouraging us to bring plants in to make us happier though. hmm

Morning all!

Baking how about rusks?! And karvol ways reminds me of childhood!

Great news Edamame!

Good luck Jolls. You'll ace it!

Comms, I love cacti, me. Go and give it a cuddle grin

It's shitter than shit getting up at 8am! It's such a long day 'til th'usband gets home at 7pm sad

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 11:26:13

The interview went quite well I reckon. I'll know in less than 2 weeks.

Random bit of trivia: I once slapped a cactus.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 11:28:49

Joll well done smile

Pram get yourself back to bed!

MTBMummy Thu 03-Oct-13 11:33:25

HI all - how the hell did you get onto thread 11 already? I go away for 10 days and it appears I'm not the biggest chatterbox grin

So have almost finished moving house, last bits this weekend (yay) but have packed up every thing in the old house, fully decorated the new house, and moved about 70% of stuff across.

Spend 6 days up a ladder painting has made me realise there are bits of me that hurt that I never even knew I had.

Also had my birthday and got nothing from DP or DD (granted DP would have to get a gift for her to give me) I know we're spending a small fortune on a house, and we agreed not to do presents, but I got him a couple of small bits for his birthday a few weeks ago - so I'm grumpy

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 11:40:41

Technically I start work at 8am, although that hasn't happened in about 3 months.

Pram I, too, feel like a bit of a failure on the education/career front. I did graduate, but with a 2:2 (1% off a 2:1!!) because I think I was so desperate to leave and move in with my boyfriend by the end that I sort of mentally checked out by exam time. Not that it matters, I mean what the fuck does one do with a geography degree, anyway?!

So I left uni and started doing exactly the same low level jobs I was doing before I started my degree, and never really got anywhere from there. I never did work out what I want to do when I grow up (and not from lack of trying). My friends either have fancy well paid jobs in London or are still travelling the world.

I've made such a twat of myself in work today. I'm so tired, I'm dead on my feet. I got so tired yesterday I threw up. On the drive in this morning I was feeling a bit sorry for myself & had a little cry, which then happened again when I was sitting in my office, so I had to go to the toilets, but I was in there for ages and came back with a red face & I'm pretty sure everyone noticed. I have no vestige of professionalism left. I didn't have much to start with.

I haven't even got a good reason to be crying I'm just so shattered & tired of feeling ill. It's impossible to get excited or bond with something that's done nothing but make me feel shit and that makes me sad. I've barely spoken 2 words to DH all week and I miss him. In the evening he presents me with food & then I crash out. When I wake up he's already gone & I'm late for work again. Ugh, I'm such a twat. My boss has just giving me my payslip & I'm embarrassed to take it.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 11:43:51

Hi MTB! I'm well impressed you'v decorated you new house! We've been in ours 2 years and still haven't done that! Doubt we ever will, to be honest.

I'm sticking up for your DP here. If you agreed no presents you're not allowed to be grumpy! Me and DH don't do presents and by that I mean we don't do presents smile

Well done on the interview Jolls I hate interviews. I would do anything to avoid one.

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 11:55:14

Happy Birthday MTB! thanks

Can we all share your cake?
cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 12:09:54

Happy birthday MTB! cake

Fox you sound so stressed! Try not to beat yourself up for how you're feeling physically and what you can and can't do. Focus on what's going to make you feel better emotionally and try and take some of the pressure off x

Blockette Thu 03-Oct-13 12:10:21

Hi Everyone,

I've been missing since about thread 3 but I've decided to come back now that I can't pretend it's not real any more.

Jolls well done with the interview, I hope it's good news in 2 weeks
Edam congrats on your blue news, I can't wait to find out ours, but have to wait till the end of the month!
Fox that's how I feel, I've not really gotten into the pregnancy thing which is why I feel a bit odd coming here - Just feel like I've had the flu for about 3 months. - If it makes you feel any better I've been falling asleep at my desk for the past few weeks! Luckily I've woken up before anyone has noticed ;)

- update as I've been in denial for so long - 17 weeks today, due date 13/03/14, no movements yet but this is my first so hopefully it's just too early. The headaches are killing me, I suffered with them before and had max strength tablets form the GP which I can't take any more sad
So tired!!!!!! and cried like crazy at and advert yesterday - DH laughed ...

Blockette Thu 03-Oct-13 12:11:44

(and happy birthday MTB)

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:17:05

fox, I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish. You do have a good reason to cry; pregnancy hormones, sickness and tiredness are damn good reasons, IMO. In the last few weeks I've taken to taking my eye make up and concealer into work with me, because I keep crying it off for no particular reason and having to re-apply! I'm not feeling as excitedly about this baby as I thought I would, as I have so much to sort out in my head before I feel like I'm ready for it, and I'm currently in counselling for long-term issues around depression and anxiety. Subsequently I don't feel like I've really bonded with him/her yet, and it all just feels a bit strange and like its happening to someone else.

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:18:04

*excited, not excitedly. pedantic

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:20:07

Also, Happy Birthday MTB!! Sorry, missed your post blush

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 12:22:29

Welcome back Blockette brew

Happy birthday MTB! cake

Well done Jolls. You can also have cake

Fox you're allowed to cry! I cry at the drop of a hat at the moment!! And at least you've made it into work unlike this pathetic excuse

Welcome back Block!

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 12:30:22

Welcome back block
Things that helped my chronic pregnancy migraines were:
- having a shower because the feeling of the water and the temperature on my head were sensations that were not pain
- ditto brushing my hair, especially by someone else
- not getting stressed - of course that is very easy to say...
- osteopathy and massage which I only did because I was desperate to be able to work and needed to try everything, even though expensive
- lying on the floor in a dark room and clutching my head, wailing 'please make it go away'

So fuck all really.

I'd definitely drink more water if you possibly can, it's the most common cause of headaches. I think my intake was reduced because it tasted weird, I always felt full and was constantly in the loo anyway.

Hope you feel better soon

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 12:38:42

Oh, my colleague has given me a really healthy lunch (cucumber, carrots, tomatoes, grapes and cottage cheese) to make me feel better. It's making me cry a little bit. I've clearly not been eating properly. I feel bad for not looking after the baby. Oh dear, I think hormones have hit me & I've turned into a massive poofter.

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 12:48:03

fox bless you, I know exactly how that feels and it's awful. Try and nurture yourself and let others do so too. Don't be hard on yourself. This is what omg trying to do.

I just spoke to my boss and she was so lovely . I blubbed down the phone to her re how bad things have got and she agreed time off , anti d s and more support at work will help. Just to update everyone. Fox, if u can confide in.a trusted colleague and even your boss it might help

Working is not all its cracked up to be..

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 12:48:34

don't know why that bit was in bold like a bloody health warning!

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 12:50:06

god I wish bloody ds would stop tantrumming and let us both sleep. Grrrrr.

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:50:43

foxif it makes you feel any better, I've just been sat eating Nutella out of the jar, and am seriously contemplating making a large hot chocolate. It's not even because I'm feeling ill (I'm not at the moment), or in need of comfort food. I'm just being greedy and lazy.

Speaking of lazy, can someone please give me a virtual kick up the arse to make me do stuff? I've got four days off work, a mahoosive to do list, mostly of stuff I genuinely want to do but haven't been able to get round to, and what have I achieved this morning? Sodding nothing. I'm an idle wench...

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 13:01:42

Ha! (about the health warning) Thanks apprentice. I've been talking to my colleague (the one who has brought me lunch) and she is being great. She's even typed up a little sheet of ideas for healthy lunches for me. I was useless with food before all of this, and since getting so sick/knackered I've been even worse. Without meaning to sound like a dick, I guess it's because I've always been skinny so I've just eaten whatever I want. Which is probably doing me no favours.

Glad your boss is being good. It makes all the difference. Mine is great too, he's being very understanding and he's a really nice guy generally but it's probably making him a bit uncomfortable all this women's stuff I've got going on smile. He's given me his banana. (No, that is not a euphemism.) I think it is his way of trying to help without having to talk to me lest I burst into tears.

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 13:03:02

SuperMuddle <kick>

Choose one thing. Do it. Then have hot chocolate brew

<kick again> you can do it.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 13:03:33

Just get on and do it Muddle! You'll feel better once you've got some things done. (how's that for motivation?)

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 13:05:13

Fox "He has given me his banana". Love it! Did he sort of casually put it on your desk, mutter something and wander off?

DS just gave me his shoe.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 13:07:10

He left it on my desk while I was in the toilet. But he came back later to check how much I had eaten.

This is sounding ruder by the minute.

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 13:10:01

Ah, Fox grin

Where is prambo when you need her?

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 13:10:39

grin fox

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 13:11:16

Sniggering like a teenage boy at the banana non euphemism!

Ouch!! Thanks ice... <wanders off, rubbing backside and grumbling>

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 13:12:50

ds is finally sleeping. I'm gonna have a power nap for an hour, housework for an hour then maybe I player for an hour recommendation anyone?

(I'm banking on this being a three hour nap anyway..)

NetworkGuy Thu 03-Oct-13 13:17:26

Ooops - stumbled across this after searching for GBBO (Get British Business Online, a 'free web site for businesses' programme).

Anyway, now I'm here, and have seen a few comments about texts etc, it makes me wonder why a simple "change your number" plan hasn't been adopted. If someone has no need to be in contact, several years on, then changing mobile number seems an idea. OK, maybe too simple - guess it depends on how much contact there might still need to be because of DC.

Blockette Thu 03-Oct-13 14:02:33

Thanks for the tips edam I will try them!!

but the big question no one has asked Fox is did you enjoy eating his banana?

NetworkGuy, what the absolute fuck are you talking about?

I got kicked off. Again. hmm

Fox, it's not a banana from your boss you need it's a week off. I think improving your diet will make heaps of difference to your energy levels and mood. Thank you for sharing about your degree and whatnot, I appreciate it.

Welcome back, Blockette

Happy birthday, MTB, I'm happy you're back.

liberuna Thu 03-Oct-13 14:08:13

who they hell are you * Network*

pram from where? MN?

Yes, Liberuna. Some lurky fucker is stalking me and they think I don't know who they are. I wish they would simply Buzz off.

MTBMummy Thu 03-Oct-13 14:39:21

Thanks all for the birthday wishes - shares round virtual slices of cake.

While I'd normally agree no presents mean no presents we've done this on previous birthdays and he's had a right strip about not getting anything. Sighs I'm just tired have taken to waking at 1am and not beig able to fall asleep again.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 14:41:28

The boss just came back to check if I have eaten his banana yet. I have not, but I will do it immediately! And it's very nice thanks grin

Yeah, a week off would be fecking awesome Pram but sadly I was off for the entire month of August with morning sickness and now I feel I owe work big time. I'm planning on a long weekend away with DH at the end of the month for our 10 year anniversary, but I don't dare ask for a day off when I've barely put a day in!

Oh dear on the being banned front. My bet was on it being automatic, as if it weren't you would have been banned again in your new reincarnation, but now I see you have...

BadlyWrittenPoem Thu 03-Oct-13 14:51:37

Pram, I scraped a 2(ii), had a couple of temp jobs that a monkey could've done before doing a PGCE and then couldn't get a job so just did bits of supply work before getting ill because I was pregnant. DH crashed out of the first year of what might have been a good career and spent a while afterwards not doing anything. Now he works as a gardener but because he has an BSc and an MSc, he still gets people telling him he should "use his degree" when in actual fact what he does suits him as a person overall better than any job using his degree would. So you can hardly say that we are great financial or career successes but IMO, as long as you have enough money to live on then it is more important to have the right balance in your life and be doing something that suits you and your family rather than to be some top notch professional on a high wage and it sounds like you thought carefully and made the best choice for your family. For some people maybe having a career is the best choice for them and their family but it isn't the best choice for everyone and it isn't automatically "better" than other options.

And whilst I did have a vague career plan in mind before I had children, I know that I would never have found it as enjoyable and fulfilling as being a mum. Not that it doesn't have it's bad days etc. but overall I find it very rewarding and I feel very thankful that I get to stay at home with my children all day.

F&T I hope your tarte tatin is nice - DH made one yesterday with the children although for some reason I haven't seen it yet.

Fox, I never felt particularly attached to or excited about my two before they were born mainly due to how ill I was (and the second time also because of previous loss) but it totally changed as soon as they were born. I still can't understand how it is possible to love someone so much even when they are too young to reciprocate but it does happen and it is totally amazing.

Well, loads and loads of yucky stuff has come out of my boil so I'm now not having to take painkillers (was on paracetamol and codeine and it still killed) and am feeling very relieved that it's not going to need any surgical intervention. Am going to see GP on Monday though as these antibiotics are making me so ill that DH is having to stay home to look after the children and he can't be staying off work for a whole ten days!

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Oct-13 14:53:34

Fox bless you. You need a well earned break and some good food made for you to keep your energy up.

Joll I may have missed it but did the interview go well?

MTB yay on the new house. Sorry your bday wasn't as good as it should have been.

My side is still really hurting. I can hardly move and it's killing me just to breathe. I'm so tired and my nose is blocked. I've had enough of this pregnancy thing.

BWP, thank you for sharing your story. I do feel blessed to be free of the rat-race and all that nonsense, I just sometimes lose my vision for a moment or two. Thanks for reminding me that the choice not to work is a valid one and not one taken solely by the arseholes on Jeremy Kyle. I love reading your posts smile

By-the-way, I had a boil on the very edge of my arse ring in the weeks I was undergoing IVF. Extraordinarily painful fucker. I didn't want antibiotics interfering with the IVF drugs so I simply tolerated it. However, it disappeared pretty rapidly of its own volition after a couple of feisty squeezes of the little bastard in a red-hot bath. Where do these things come from??

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 15:54:29

Just to add to this, I left York where I had quite a lot above starred/double first grade because to me it was just a waste of time and I didn't feel fulfilled at all, I hate the pressure to go to uni or you're deemed useless, I have met many many graduates who I would never in a million years employ and equally the opposite way around! Swings and roundabouts just got to figure out what's best for you. I'd rather live a simple life working in a nice little cafe or something than join the rat race, some of my friends would find that thought horrifying!

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 15:55:30

Just noticed badly has put it much more eloquently than I could have!

faithfulandtruthful Thu 03-Oct-13 17:02:17

BWP Thanks for the encouragement but sadly have been unwell today so backside has barley elevated from the sofa, except for the squillions of visits to the toilet empty my bladder.

F&T

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 17:12:06

It did indeed go well Mummy, tganks for asking. grin

Though I've had horrendous back pain for most of the day after so fuck the weekly shop

CalltheMadwife Thu 03-Oct-13 17:14:06

To add to the degree/qualification malarkey, I went to Uni at 19yrs old, did an art degree, worked in call centres for 3 years afterwards, then decided to retrain and am now a midwife, if I'd not come back after first Uni to where my parents are I'd of never met my husband and if I'd not retrained as a midwife I'd still be stuck in a job I hated and not have met my best friends who I have now. Don't get me wrong I still have crap days at work but overall, it's great and I'm glad I decided to be a student again and slog hard for 3 years, being skint again, unfortunately means am still recovering from the debt of 2 degrees! Oh and paying for a wedding and now a baby on the way, I don't ever seem to plan things sensibly! But then why put off now what will still be the same in the future!

Sorry having a self pitying day regarding how skint we are at the minute, just wish there was a miracle way out of debt!

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Oct-13 17:15:37

I'm going to bed as soon as ds friend is picked up from their play date. I have no tolerance today. I'm in pain and I'm pissed off. Dh can deal with bath and bed tonight.

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 17:21:01

Are there any rubby gel type things I can get OH to rub into my back that aren't ibuprofen based? I really am in quite a bit of pain sad

I would have thought an ibuprofen gel would be ok as very little, if any, would get into your bloodstream.

BadlyWrittenPoem Thu 03-Oct-13 17:54:29

Thanks for sharing about your boil Pram - I've actually been getting them for months as I just don't seem to be able to get rid of them no matter what I do. Have stopped taking the antibiotics as I started throwing up because of them and I'm not convinced they're actually doing anything and am going to try to see the Dr tomorrow morning complete with the half dozen other boils I have. I do know where mine came from though - I got them from DH who had them for a while but refused to go the the Dr until he'd given them to me. (When he got them he was on some medication which can make you more susceptible to skin infections which we presume is where his came from.)

Fasterkillpussycat Thu 03-Oct-13 18:31:41

Trying to catch up on the train on the way home - dodgy signal not helping...

Fingers crossed regarding the interview Jolleigh. I had an interview lined up early doors in the pregnancy but I wimped out on the basis that I would be about 6/7 months pregnant when I started the job. Not sure I made the right decision but a bit late now. My boss has been really supportive in my current job so that is a bonus.

Prambo - does MN not tell you why they are kicking you off? Hope it can get sorted out soon.

Pregnancy rage erupted at work today. Must learn to take a deep breath and rise above annoying twats rather than emailing and calling in a moment of rage. Turning the other cheek was never my strong point.

Fasterkillpussycat Thu 03-Oct-13 18:33:22

Sorry - happy birthday MTB!

Faster, you will have to join the facebook group if you want to know more <taps nose conspiratorially> It's safe to say I am mumsnet's Most Wanted grin

BWP, boils suck cock. Poor you having several <shudders> It sounds like you're seriously run down.

Moosey and & Madwife, I seriously envy your career choices, degree or not. Moosey, I saw the panoramic view of your apartment on facebook (the one you are leaving) and you have done seriously well for yourself. And only 23! Good for you.

Th'usband came home an hour early and I am delirious with happiness. Chucked my arms around him like he'd been gone for a month. What's all that about?

MummyPig, I am so sorry you feel wretched. Where is the pain and what can be done? thanks

Braised pork chops with shallots again tonight with goose fat roasties and champ.

Lyra, how are you today? I forgot to tell you that restaurant you want sounds proper kitsch. I love irregular-shaped rooms and rickety stairs and intimate spaces. How fab to have your own business envy

Imeg and Saggy, how are you both?

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 19:41:19

Ok so I am 4 weeks out of date but... Catching up on Midwives. It's the one about natural birth, birth centres v delivery suites etc. It's filmed in the hospital where I had DS, the pool I was in (there is only one!), waiting room, delivery suite etc. Very weird.

RaspberrysAndIcecream Thu 03-Oct-13 19:51:32

Ok - how do I join the Facebook group? I'm caving!!! grin

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:34:27

Right , so work is so crazy haven't made it on thread since Monday but been trying to keep on Facebook. Tonight made conscious decision to do thread, not f/b but now I'm going to have to do both with Pram's mystery comments.

Nearly fell off settee laughing at random network guy's intrusion and Pram's response. Who the hell would stumble on our thread accidentally, read all of our random chat, then comment on a conversation about Joll's ex from pages ago.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 20:37:09

Rasp send a message to greymoose, she'll sort you out!

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 20:39:31

raspberrys send me a message with your fb link and ill add you!

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:41:42

Btw loving the new thread title Lyra - every time I moved on a page I automatically squeezed.

Apologies if I am commenting on conversations from pages ago. Pram you sound in a better place now with it all. I did the whole education/career thing and have honestly been planning how to backtrack from current position since DS was born (and this was someone who did 3 interviews for a top job at 37/38 weeks pregnant and never would have believed I would have felt this way). I read your posts about side-stepping the rat race with envy at times as well and think you have your head screwed on. I'm taking a year's mat leave and will probs not return to the same post after that but take a demotion - I really want to rebalance things towards what matters and that is my family.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 20:45:06

Ice I bet that's weird to see it all again! Will you be giving birth there again?

Mummy good on you! Hope you feel better tomorrow x

Madwife I think your job is amazing. Most of the midwives I work with retrained from previous careers. Just focus on all the good you get out of it smile

Fox loved the banana commentary. You sound much brighter than you did earlier.

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:47:41

Welcome back Block.

On healthy eating front I am not doing well. Far too many refined sugars but the exercise bike is def boosting my energy levels.

Feeling baby every day now and occasionally I get a really big kick that makes me gasp - I seem to be well past butterflies. The good thing about being so busy is that the time is flying by to my 20 week scan, so not long until we find out.

Gawjus are you ok? Think you felt very I'll before and haven't been on in a while. Or was it Kara? Have been catching up on too many pages at once.

Right heading over to f/b to find out what's really going on.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 20:47:44

Cool it's really interesting to hear about your career choices after you've had kids as I worry that I won't get the balance right and be able to stop being such a workaholic! Did your feelings change as soon as you'd had ds or was it when you went back after mat leave?

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:48:28

Oh and congrats Edam on team blue!

Ah, Coolhand, the irony. I learned early on (by being a nosy bitch) that you are head of sixth form at your school and I marvelled at how wonderful that must feel in terms of status and personal achievement. I hope you feel massively fulfilled and content when you make changes to your career with this baby. Thanks for sharing.

Imeg Thu 03-Oct-13 21:03:59

On the no presents front, we both think Valentine's day is a bit silly and annoying pressure to be romantic, so we have a £5 limit for presents. (Not that we're normally extravagant). It means we get things we might not normally get each other and have to be a bit creative.

In terms of things to remind of/connect to the UK, how about children's books? The original Railway Collection books (origin of Thomas the Tank) are definitely very British but not really politically incorrect like some older books. Or Beatrix Potter?

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 21:08:04

Oh bollock fuck.

OH is away this weekend. From right after work tomorrow. He has the car. I didn't do the food shop today because my back is fucking murdering me. The dog is almost out of dry food...we have wet food but he gets too hungry if we only feed him that.

No family within 30miles. No friends within 10, and they don't have a car.

I'm going to have to walk a mile to Tesco on Saturday, then back again with arms of shopping, despite my back feeling as though a baseball bat has been taken to it, aren't I??

Fuck nuts.

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 21:12:14

jolleigh, do an online shop. You should be able to get it delivered tomorrow.

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 21:13:16

Do Tesco deliver in your area Jolls? I have not been to the supermarket in months, I cannot be arsed to carry shopping up four flights of stairs.

BadlyWrittenPoem Thu 03-Oct-13 21:13:18

Jolls, I think it would be acceptable to take a taxi.

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 21:15:40

You know what, I didn't even think about online. OH hates online (he thinks people are given the shit stuff) so I stopped when he moved in.

But it genuinly makes sense this time grin

Thank you ladies for pointing this out!

I swallow on Valentine's Day <largesse>

Imeg, when I want th'usband to get creative I point out the spunk stains on my plastered walls and say, 'Get that off, you moron, and don't bring the paint with it'.

lumpylumps Thu 03-Oct-13 22:02:28

pram it's clearly animal cruelty that got you kicked of!!! You can't flick bogies at the cat!!! It's mean!!

OwlinaTree Thu 03-Oct-13 22:02:35

Congrats on a boy Edamame

OwlinaTree Thu 03-Oct-13 22:08:21

Congrats Joll! Fx for you.

fox it will be OK. You will bond soon, much nicer when you can feel it move all the time.

OwlinaTree Thu 03-Oct-13 22:27:37

Feeling pretty grotty today, think I'm coming down with a cold, keep coughing and throat hurts a bit. I'm worrying about the baby, don't feel like anything's happening, haven't really felt anything like movement. Nips are still really painful tho! I know is normal not to feel much yet (17+4) but wish I could to have that reassurance.

Won't be long I suppose, only a couple more weeks till the scan.

liberuna Thu 03-Oct-13 22:53:33

Hi can I ask the ladies who are feeling movements or kicks, where are you feeling it?

Im guessing it's different fir everyone but curious to know where its located.

I know, Pram, I can hardly believe it's a possibility. It's a bit scary but exciting too. The place really is tiny though. Seats 40 max over two floors.

On the careers discussion, I've been a journalist for most of my working life but I kind of lost interest once DS1 came along. I was lucky enough to cut down to two days a week and then to stop altogether for a few years. I've very much valued the time I've been able to spend with my gorgeous boys while they're so young. I'm hoping going self employed will mean I'll be able to be flexible with when and how much I work.

Lib, the kicks are in a different place every time. Babies don't stay in one position for long at this stage. Once they get close to birth there's less moving around so you may feel kicks in the same few places.

I've just felt my first kicks from the outside grin DP will be able to have a feel soon (he's current asleep, naked, on the sofa next to me hmm)

MacD75 Fri 04-Oct-13 00:32:33

Hi ladies, my goodness can you lot chat wink Haven't posted cos I've been busy, nothing exciting going to work then passing out and occasionally trying pathetically to run.

Think I've missed 2 whole threads now! So exciting that some of you have had gender scans, does it make it all seem more real?? Tho since I spent yesterday sitting at my desk with the button of my jeans open you'd think that'd be real enough...maternity jeans from now on I think.

10 more pages by tomorrow wink

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 06:04:08

Re careers, I never wanted one. I wanted to get married and have babies. Unfortunately my master plan was thwarted by my ability to only meet absolute twats who didn't have 2 brain cells to rub together!

I left college with 2 E's at A-level, mainly cos I couldn't be arsed to study once I decided I wasn't going to uni. Then I went into insurance (corporate - so for companies rather than individuals), discovered (a) that insurance is full of very mediocre people so if you have half a brain and a personality you are already in the high talent pool grin and. (b) that I am really competitive. Cutting a 20 yr career short (god that makes me feel old) I now work for a very large company running the insurance dept and earning more money than I ever thought possible. BUT, whilst I love all the things the money buys, I would have traded it all in to have got pregnant 2 yrs ago and not to have developed diabetes. Plus now that I am married to a man with an ex-wife and 3 children who he pays a generous amount of maintenance to (which I don't begrudge but just wish his troll of an ex would at least acknowledge that he has more than done the right thing by her) I have bollocks all spare cash! Pesky kidsgrin

Hmm. That turned into a mini rant. Soz!

On a more current note I am just desperate for a good nights sleep. I am still waking up 4 times a night to go to the loo and have got suitcases under my eyes instead of the normal bags. Please will someone tells me this gets better? Am 14 +3. It must must must get better... confused

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 06:47:07

Woke up at half 5.

In work by half 6.

This is a hell reserved only for people who've done very very naughty things.

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 07:46:37

Did you wet the bed Joll? wink

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 07:48:00

I wish...at least then I'd have woken up warm!

Rockchick1984 Fri 04-Oct-13 08:04:56

I was getting a good kicking in my very full bladder this morning, probably a good thing that DS woke me up hmm

Got a mad busy day today but just really can't motivate myself to get out of bed yet, have to get a train at 9.30 so really need to move at some point!

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 08:07:58

Joll why the heck do you have to be in work so early?

I'm still in a lot of pain. Taking paracetamol but it's not helping really. I think it's a pulled muscle from stupidly moving our heavy dining table to rearrange that end of the living room the other day. I'm not sure what I was thinkin but it needed to be moved immediately! I've also got horrendous trapped wind. I might as well just give up, I'm falling apart!

Blockette Fri 04-Oct-13 09:12:34

ahh MummyPig hope you feel better soon!

I'm convinced my bump is getting smaller, not bigger - DH says it's in my head but I cant stop being worried. I've not had any pain or anything, I'm just getting smaller. And I can't feel anything moving yet, so am convinced something is wrong.

Will I hear a heartbeat if I bring home a stethoscope and listen to my bump? or will that not work? I feel like I have to do something but going to the GP because my bump feels smaller sounds a bit crazy.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 09:23:08

Have a most-if-the-day meeting unfortunately mummy and need to leave before 3 so had to get here early.

Beccadugs Fri 04-Oct-13 09:44:35

Blockette, could it have been bloating/water retention that has now gone down?

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:09:46

Morning all you lovely Martians.

Haven't posted in ages. The threads move so quickly.

Sorry I haven't read back but wanted your advice real quick. Started to feel bump moving a couple of weeks ago. For a week id feel him/her move at least once a day, mainly when I went to bed or early un the morning before I got up. But for three days I've not felt bump move at all. Should I be concerned? Have had period like pains since yesterday, but nothing severe. Don't know if I'm worrying over nothing. Do i leave a message with midwife or ring hosp?? Help.

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 10:12:31

floaty I'm sure baby is absolutely fine, just changed position maybe, but there is never anything wrong with phoning the midwife and asking for advice if you are worried about anything.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 10:15:12

Flo how far along are you now? I'm not an expert, but I think movements aren't something to be worried about until later because baby's so small so you won't feel the majority. Baby might have just changed position. Try not to worry but if it'll make you feel better to speak to your midwife then do!

Block I second Becca's suggestion of bloating/water retention going down.

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:15:13

Thank you Mummypig. Il give them a quick call now xx

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:16:09

I'm 18 weeks commsgirl smile

Blockette Fri 04-Oct-13 10:27:43

Thanks guys I have been a bit blushwindyblush recently so maybe it was trapped air? Feel better now!

Flo I don't have a clue, so would ask the midwife too!

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:31:16

Midwife wasn't concerned. She said when I strained my stomach picking ds up the other day, baby just moved position so can't feel kicks at the mo.

She most prob right. You still just worry though don't you!

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 10:50:59

Block I know what you mean there, I just need to fart!!

flo I'm glad the mw put your mind at rest.

I've achieved stuff! Cleaned out the guinea pigs hutches and prepared a casserole and accompaniments. Still in pain. Definitely ordering a duvet afternoon with the kiddies later on.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 11:18:56

I feel really...spaced today. It's like someone has slipped weed into my food. If I start telling you my gerbils are aliens, there's someone lurking in the shadows or that my husband is only pretending to be with me to take the piss out of me then you'll know for sure!

16 weeks today, and have possibly cracked from exhaustion.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:20:17

Block I think so. Mine changes quite a lot depending on what I've eaten etc.

Flo glad you've been reassured smile.

Mummy sorry you're still feeling rubbish x

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 11:30:02

Oh my god, everyone kick your partners out of bed and get a 12 foot u shaped pillow. Used it for the first time last night it is amazing!!!

Also, good morning!

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 11:36:07

grey that sounds amazing. I can't believe that we are all going to have huge bumps in a few months. It seems unreal but the memories are slowly coming back, like turning over in bed and getting up off the floor will be a struggle.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:40:03

Morning Grey. Sounds amazing.

There is a man who has decided that my desk is the ideal place to pace backwards and forwards behind while he has his very loud phone calls. I don't even know who he is, but today I can tell you exactly what's wrong with his BMW and his entire work plan for 13/14. Feeling the rage!!! angry

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:41:29

If he says 'wherebyyyyy' one more time I'm going to throw my stapler at him.

Ooh, Lyra, a journo! I did wonder 'coz you iz ace at writin', innit. I do wonder if you'll have a little girl this time....would you like one?

Cassie, thank you for sharing, too. So you're a squillionaire, too. But your husband gives loads of cash to his ex. Nightmare. I'm a monster though, and clearly resent husbands doing the right thing by their other children grin

So, seeing as we're all gaining between 1 and 1.5kg per week this trimester I don't hear any of you weeping.....

Comms, have you considered asking him to fuck off?

I'm skiving the charity shop. Again. My tender and throbbing arches can't hack it.

Prambo I'd love to be gaining weight. Not happening yet.

Pillow sounds amazing Grey. I love mine. I find it hard to imagine myself with a big bump!

Comms trip him up.

You sure no one has slipped you something Fox?!

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:56:23

He's gone but I am now absolutely seething. Might have to go get a Greggs.

Pram I told my midwife I hadn't gained anything yet and she said 'I suspect you'll be one of those ladies who puts it all on at the end.' I'll weep then!

I knew you and Marbie wouldn't have gained, Comms, but for the rest of us...it's alarming how this stuff piles on even when you're monitoring calorie intake. My midwife told me the weight gain is often nowt to do with food consumed: it's breast increase, blood volume increase, fat being laid down on hips and back to protect bump etc. My body has not changed other than massive knockers and a big bump but I am a stone heavier than pre-pregnancy.

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 12:05:31

I met up with my little sister for lunch yesterday and she said ''Oh my god, you look pregnant!'' It's the first time anybody has said that so I was very chuffed. Although I did have on a very tight top to try and show off my poor excuse for a bump grin

Yesterday I got an email from a store in London asking me to send them over a quote for supplying them with some of my products. I'm shitting myself. I didn't want to put the wholesale price too high and risk scaring them off, and I didn't want to show my business naivety by pricing it too low. They also asked about my minimum order quantity and I'm nervous about the figure I gave for the same reason.

Tis going to be a tense day of refreshing my emails until I get their response. confused

..that was mainly gained during first trimester. I'm dreading to see how this one pans out..

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 12:07:43

Pram - lbs not kg surely?! Apparently I'm meant to put on 40lbs -

The 1-1.5lbs is only for pre pregnancy underweight I thought, meant to be max 1lb a week if you're normal weight and less if overweight?

Could be wrong though!

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 12:10:44

Oops didn't finish that bit - if I put on 40 lbs I will be less than but not far off 150% of my normal weight... Not happening!

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 12:11:06

Yeah that's right goosey depending on your bmi to start with they recommend you gain a different amount of weight.

I started off overweight so I've to gain between 15-25lbs. I'm still a wee bit lighter than I was at my booking in appointment so I hope I'm going to manage to stay on track.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 12:28:07

I'm trying really hard to eat properly/enough after losing so much in the first trimester so I'd like to see some weight going on really!

Pram I can imagine it's disconcerting! If you're keeping your calories in check and your weight is all going on bump/boobs then try and take comfort in the fact that it's all necessary weight you're gaining.

Goose I think it's around 25lbs if you're 'normal' BMI.

Hot scary but exciting that your business is starting to move. I'm sure you did the right thing. Is your website up and running now?

I was told 1-1.5lbs in the second trimester and I'm a normal weight. But pram you are all boobs and bumps, nothing can be done about that!! It's 'good weight' if you like.

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 12:33:13

Twice yesterday I was mistaken for being "at least 20 weeks". I could have wept.

Weight gain in pregnancy I stand corrected, Moosey, it is 0.8-1lb per week for 'normal-sized' women, less for overweight ladies. The normal-weight people should gain between 25-35lbs during the whole pregnancy. I've already gained 12! sad

I know, Marbie, I know...still awful though seeing the scales go up every single week when I'm eating really healthily.

That link I posted is a load of shit. I'm sure it's 1-1.5lbs we should be gaining in the second trimester, like you say, Marbs.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 12:41:52

I don't think I've ever gained the "right" amount. First time I lost a stone early on and took until 26 weeks to get back up to prepregnancy weight - I think I gained about a stone in the end though not sure as the battery went in the scales a couple of weeks before I gave birth and then about a week after giving birth when DH bought a battery I was back to my prepregnancy weight. Last time I didn't remember to weigh myself close to the end but I was 2 1/2 stones over prepregnancy weight a couple of weeks after giving birth so I'm guessing I must've gained almost 4 which is pretty amazing given my calorie intake was lower during pregnancy than before but I guess lying in bed doing nothing helped. This time I haven't lost any weight and based on current gain I should end up gaining around 2 1/2 stone which I think is about the amount I'm supposed to gain.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 12:46:17

The first few weeks after giving birth you naturally lose quite a bit of your gain anyway as your uterus shrinks down and your blood volume decreases etc. (This is why I waited two weeks after giving birth last time to weigh myself as I'd been losing weight before the pregnancy and didn't want to be discouraged by the larger intial weightloss.)

Your Pregnancy Week By Week says 1.5-2lbs should be gained per week during the second trimester for 'normal-weight' women. I wish they'd make their minds up.

I am reading another thread where one woman is having crying fits because, at six months, her baby "will not sleep in a cot, gain weight or take a bottle". She breastfeeds non-stop and is exhausted. This sort of shit terrifies me and is why I am determined to give Gina Ford a shot. Any opinions on why this woman should have a baby like this?

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:22:08

Some babies are just extra hard. I was an awful baby. I'm the 3rd child, and my folks thought they knew it all but I had other ideas grin

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:24:48

Or maybe there's something wrong with her baby. What the fuck do I know.

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 13:29:21

Morning ladies!

On the weight thing I have been told to aim for not putting on anything, cos I is a chunker. Well. A size 16 but I have got about 3 stone to lose... Given how much I want to eat cake at the moment that will be a struggle.

On a plus point, I was at the pregnancy clinic in the diabetes unit and midwife tried to find the heartbeat and found it. Yey! She was a bit surprised cos am only 14 weeks and as mentioned above, a tad on the rotund side! Was very reassuring but I suspect we got lucky with this one.

Can not remember who said that someone told them they look like they are 20 weeks but I feel your pain. I look about 6 months but am taking solace from the fact that at least I look pregnant and not just fat nowadays so I have decided to embrace it. Fuck'em all is what I say!

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 13:29:41

And I have just realised its the afternoon. I really need to get some sleep...

Pram lovely, the scales should be going up!! I demand you throw them away. Or use them for a more uplifting purpose.

I agree with Fox some babies are just hard. My mum struggled massively to breast feed me. We both lost too much weight. Switched to bottle, hey presto. Also wouldn't sleep in my cot. Put me in a cot bed=angel. My brother on the other hand was an angel from day dot. I don't think you can predict or change it. That's why I am so determined to go with the flow. I'm not going to look at routines or 'how to' books until I've gotten to know my baby. There's no point in developing a complex on how bad a parent I am, when at the end of the day, we are going from a family of two to one of three. One day you just have a whole new person who you have never met before to look after. I think worrying about a routine will be the least of my worries smile

Maybe she's not producing enough milk if she's having to bf all day and the baby won't settle (hunger?). Another reason why it's important to introduce a bottle early so the baby gets used to a teat, then mixed feeding is an option.

I'm too scared to weigh myself at all. I know I've put loads on but I don't want to know how much so I shall continue to stick my head in the sand and pretend I'm still a svelte size 10.

Pram, I was a journo for 17 years. I've been a reporter, newspaper page designer (which I loved), news editor and sub editor. It's where my grammar Nazism stems from. If anyone asks what my profession is I still say journalist but I'm not feeling it anymore. My boys' father is also a journalist so my boys have a double dose of writer genes. They're actually both excellent writers so maybe there is a genetic component to it.

I'm hoping for another boy this time. DP will not be happy if it's a girl and my boys would rather a brother (the idea of anything pink in the house fills them with horror). Two of my friends have three boys each and one had four boys then a girl (their 4th boy died in a road accident aged 5sad) so I'm hoping I'll get another blue one too. We shall see on the 18th when I have my scan.

Another massive post. Sorry peeps.

Thankfully, because I am so fucking stinking rich, I will be having a maternity nurse anyway. Plus a nanny. Plus a wet nurse. And maybe an au pair.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:40:39

Do wet nurses still exist, I wonder? Do you think Kate & Wills have one?

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 13:43:46

If the woman is really BFing non stop and the baby isn't putting on weight at 6 mo I would say something sounds wrong and she should go to HV/doc. Also, without getting into the 'right age for weaning' debate, I weaning DS at around 6 mo and he was def ready for it.

Please don't read too much into threads like that. People only post when there's an issue - so so many people BF and don't have those issues but would hardly start an 'Everything is just lovely' thread, or reply to a woman having those issues with 'Well I'm fine, lalala'. Also, sleep changes throughout and I really think a lot of it is luck. Teething, tummy ache, growth spurts, trapped wind, colds, earache... All screw up sleep.

DS slept through last night for the first night in a fortnight because his new teeth (4 of them this time!) have finally calmed down. But he hasn't been like that since he was tiny and I doubt his teeth would have hurt him less if we'd taken a different parenting technique.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:47:47

Well said Ice

I agree, Ice. MN can give you a skewed idea of what's normal. For example, reading threads in the relationships topic, you could easily come to the conclusion that most women are abused in some way by their partners, which isn't true. Same with threads about baby problems.

So what's for dinner tonight? I'm making seafood soup for the boys, using my ruined tomato soup as a base and adding calamari, mussels and prawns, conveniently prepared and frozen by Mr Asda. Nice and easy.

The thread is one I've been following for a while as it's an 'early pregnancy after IVF' one. I have found it to be invaluable, actually, and am intrigued reading about those who have recently given birth. Several women have responded to this poor lady by saying they intend to do the exact opposite to her when they give birth. She has just responded: 'Yes, nobody take any advice from me regarding actual baby handling. I just can't leave her to cry and it is now ridiculous how much time she spends being carried around and sleeping on me. My plan is to get her weight back on track somehow and then when I know she's not hungry etc. to move her into her own room at seven months and do controlled crying then.'

No. Thank. You.

Another pregnant lady on there says: 'NCT just gave us this sheet of questions where you had to mark along the scale things like 'i will pick my baby up whenever he cries vs I will let me baby cry sometimes', and 'i will feed on demand vs i will have a set routine'.'

Clearly NCT are trying to impress upon the ladies that there are definite ways of creating problems for yourself and how best to avoid a velcro baby.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 14:25:14

I thought it would take ages to get pregnant from too much lurking on the conception boards. It took about 20 minutes in all.

Not sure what's for dinner here, DH is making it as usual!

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 14:32:24

My sister would spend hours putting her son to bed at night. She would sit on the floor of his room next to his cot rubbing his back until he was asleep. I hope I don't end up like that!

Pram I know the advice given here is to feed on demand. That's by both the midwives and the NCT. But, like everything else, that advice will vary depending on where you are and who you're talking to!

Lyra good point. It's also the same with things like MMC. I was terrified as you read so much about it, but in reality it really is very rare. Your soup sounds amazing.

What mumsnet says about movement at 19 wks pregnant:

Movement You may feel your baby moving now but don't worry if you can't - it can depend where your baby is lying. It can be strange but is usually exciting when you feel your baby's first movements. If you place your partner's or a friend's hands on your stomach to share the moment you can guarantee they won't feel it. The movements need to be stronger for those not carrying your baby to feel them.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 14:35:33

Them Indian ladies don't seem to mind having velcro babies. They just strap em on and get to work in the rice paddies! <massive stereotype>

Them Indian ladies have about four generations looking after their babies.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 15:05:25

You're right. I should insist my mother move in next door. And DH's Grandma.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 15:44:22

I have a perfectly orchestrated weekend right here...

Bug shop arrives before 6. After that I don't expect to see a real person until Sunday night.

PJs, good food and box set binging on Breaking Bad...which I only started watching last night so have the full thing start to finish to get through.

Very much looking forward to this grin

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 15:44:44

BIG shop. Stupid fat fingers.

I really need to source a Breaking Bad box set.

Foxy, why do you think I'm moving to be near my mum? smile

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 15:55:40

That sounds good Jol I plan to sleep, sleep, more sleep. When I'm not sleeping I will be lying down watching TV. I wish I had a boxset though. I've requested Homeland from the library but some other selfish bastard has got it out already. Surely I should get some kind of preferential treatment for being knocked up?! smile

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 15:56:34

Netflix people, Netflix grin

Bloody love homeland Fox. Am very excited for Sunday night.

I really need to watch breaking bad. Is it on netflix?

Sounds perfect Jol. What food you got planned?

Whilst I'm pleased my mum is 25 mins away, I'm relieved there is a bit of distance and I'm even more pleased that mil is 6 hours away

And there my dear Joll is the answer to my question wink

Yep, Netflix. Much cheaper than buying a box set.

I don't have a MIL or FIL, and no stinky useless grandparents either. What a win!

I love box sets though, same as I love books, which is why I don't do Kindle or Netflix.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:02:14

Worth checking that it's on the English site though...

We have the PS3 programmed to American and the Streamer set to tge English one because we want the choice of both. I've not tried to watch it through the Streamer yet.

Kara, are you okay?

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:03:38

100% with you for books Pram but there's no avoiding the sheer value for money that Netflix gives you...

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 16:04:02

Aah, but not as cheap as getting the boxset from the library wink

My broadband is too slow for streaming movies. Stuck out in the sticks as I am.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 16:05:30

My parents will be round the corner. MIL is driving distance away but she doesn't drive, lovely.

Maybs so excited for Homeland!

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:07:52

Fox - you've obviously never seen the late fees I used to get from the library wink

Sucks that your broadband isn't great for streaming though.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 16:13:25

That reminded me to check if anything was overdue, and my homeland boxset IS available. They didn't tell me! And it closes at 5 which is when I finish work!

I know Comms! I had a refresher of the last episode thanks to 4OD. Excited, much?!

I too love books Pram. But I've run out of room for them, so the kindle it is sad

Indeed PramboTheDayToYa where is Kara?

BakingEating Fri 04-Oct-13 16:16:59

Chocolate tasting at a posh chocolatiers for me this evening, then the world can fuck off for the rest if the weekend. It'll be just me, dh and the cat until Monday. Bliss.

Meanwhile, I feel l

BakingEating Fri 04-Oct-13 16:18:18

Argh!

... I feel like I did a million sit-ups in my sleep. Tummy muscles really ache. Is this normal at 16 weeks, 2 days?

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:24:00

Sorry NoMaybe I didn't mean to ignore your food question...

Tesco Finest fish pie, creamed spinach, followed by a tub of cookie dough Ben n Jerry's grin

( I have also made the executive decision not to cook wink )

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 16:24:52

How do you do creamed spinach? I have baby leaf spinach in my fridge that will inevitably go off.

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 16:33:48

Why am I always behind? Cottage pie for us tonight (if I can be arsed otherwise it's the chippy)

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:37:59

Literally just wilt it down in a tiny bit of seasoned cream Fox. Easier to eat if you chop it a bit first.

Baking, tell me, how the fuck does one get invited to a posh chocolatiers for a chocolate tasting evening? Hmmmmmm?

Fish for me tonight with brown rice and greens.

I have tried to watch Parks & Recreation on my laptop as advise by Moosey but apparently I don't have the necessary function to watch it. My laptop's only a year old!

Apparently 1 in 100 Britons is homosexual. There are a lot of craven closet-dwellers filling out these questionnaires..

Pantomime Fri 04-Oct-13 16:54:56

Finally having my 12 week scan on Monday.... at 15 weeks and 4 days.

shock

Pantomime Fri 04-Oct-13 16:57:55

I had to ring the hospital and book it myself. I am not best pleased.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:59:22

I'd say it's quite a conservative estimate actually Pram - I'm bi and I've never had a shortage of women to sleep with...

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:19:59

I'm the same with books and box sets pram - for those of you on netflix get spotflux then you can do what joll does!

My mum is going to be around the corner (we're staying with her ATM while house is finished though) - the in laws are 60 miles away and will be nowhere to be found anyway because I have had enough of them quite frankly!

I think what you're looking for is a kibbutz pram wink

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:22:16

Bloody hell pantomime you must be fuming!!!!!!! Did they give you any sort of apology etc?!

Sorry pram (again) missed this - what function are you missing - let me send you some links on Facebook later xxx

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:23:56

On phone hence the block posts - dinner is an Indian take away courtesy of my mama, she is obviously not sick of us just yet.