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Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

(1001 Posts)

Shiny new thread, ladies smile

I'd love to stay and chat (by myself grin) but I have cooking and baking to do. For some reason I always feel the urge to bake on Wednesdays. Something to do with GBBO perhaps?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 10:02:49

Just had it out with him...got the auto "why are you looking at my messages?" To which I replied "why should there be an issue with me looking? We're supposed to be completely open with each other. " He swears it's all completely innocent and that most of the time he ignores her. He knows full well I'm not impressed though. So, the next few weeks will either be 'best behaviour' time or a rough patch...place your bets now!

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:39

Place marking!

Wilting in a very hot meeting room, doesn't help with the sickness.

Have put a link on the old thread I think <smug face>

Fasterkillpussycat Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:55

Fingers crossed for best behaviour.

Good thread title - I need the reminder!

The fact is, Jolls, he knows it bothers you yet continues to have contact with her. Your feelings are more important than hers so he should cut contact without having to be issued with an ultimatum. Can you tell him this without sounding like you're laying down the law? Good luck.

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 10:24:57

Thanks for the new thread lyra!!

Sorry to hear he's being annoying joll, it's a toughie cause of your situation with your ex, id perhaps just explain that if he acts suspicious it's natural to think something's a bit off especially after he's been a bit silly recently and you're pregnant !

My ex lives in Australia thank god but still manages to wind dp up by having existed even though I haven't spoken to him since we broke up years ago now!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 10:32:55

Jol OH still gets texts from his ex from 9 years ago. He has a password on his phone but if I've ever needed to use his phone I have a sneaky wee check (I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself)and he doesn't delete the whole thread just messages he doesn't want me to see so I know he's been texting her. He says he hates her and she ruined his life.. why the txts and secrecy? I've given him ultimatums and he always turns it on me and makes me feel like I'm being paraniod and insecure and I'm not sure if I am... AARGHHHH.

JustCallMeBaldrick Wed 02-Oct-13 10:32:58

Helloooo shiny new thread :-)

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 10:35:46

KEGALS! Yes a constant reminder in the name of the thread - I like it.

Jolls Men eh? I think you are saying the right things if that provides an comfort. He needs to know that this is potentially a big problem. It is the hiding it that would bother me most.

I have my 16 midwife check up today, really hope I get to hear the heart beat. Very excited and anxious, and for those of you who asked (ages ago) I still don’t have my notes. I will be having words today, well DH will! In other news 2 days til holiday. So I imagine you ‘natterboxes’ will be on thread 15 or 16 by the time I get back!

Lol, Grey. I also hate my DP's exes for having the cheek to exist grin But I recognise that that's completely unreasonable and keep it in check.

I'm currently procrastinating instead of getting on with things hmm

In other news, I've ditched the new house plan because the money available wouldn't buy somewhere big enough. Our current plan is to buy a restaurant and run it ourselves, which is probably completely crazy given that there's a baby on the way. It also means we'll have to rent for a while as there won't be any money left to buy a house but that won't kill us. I've rented many times before and I can do it again.

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 10:37:55

Thanks ladies...I've decided what my standard line to him will be if this causes issues. Let's see what you all think <cough cough>:

If you've got nothing to hide STOP FUCKING HIDING IT!

Thoughts?

Fasterkillpussycat Wed 02-Oct-13 10:43:34

Oh good god, working from home today with cat sleeping next to me - no warning at all she just jumped out of her skin. Proper all four paws in the air, meowing and scrabbling around. Must have been a bad dream but I nearly had a bloody heart attack. She is back sleeping now, which is nice for her. I am still having palpitations.

Jolleigh - totally agree. If someone is not straight about something, I assume there is something to hide. Easier all round to be honest and open.

Here you are! Morning all!

What you baking Lyra?

Good luck today Mi!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 11:03:13

Thanks for the thread Lyra. What are you baking?

Joll hope you and your fella get things sorted.

I feel like I'm dying. It's only a bloody cold but I'm feeling dry sorry for myself! I've sorted out all the kids craft stuff though and tidied up that corner so I feel a bit better and less cluttered. Although as I was carrying the rubbish out to the bin the bag split so I had to scrabble about in the rain picking up broken crayons and scraps of paper.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 11:13:03

Hi everybody!

I was 2 hours late to work to work today. I am utterly shit. And my boss doesn't even seem to care. Which only encourages me. I need telling off.

Something just occurred to me about these natal hypnotherapy CDs: I don't have a CD player.

Something else I was thinking about regarding going into hospital/MLU to give birth is that DH will have to go home afterwards and I will be left with a newborn to care for on my own overnight right after I've given birth! This is freaking me out. If ever I'm going to need him, it'll be then.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:17:12

Joll perfect line smile. It's definitely the honesty that would bother me over anything.

Lyra what are you baking? And what kind of restaurant will you open? Exciting!

Mimi good luck today. I felt more emotional hearing the heartbeat than I did at my scans, it's lovely smile.

Faster my dog has dreams like that, freaky isn't it?! Nearly as bad as when he stares at the corner of the room and barks like there's someone there. Shudder.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 11:24:33

Lyra I'm also baking, which I haven't done in ages, probably be a total car crash seen as I don't believe in scales or measuring and I can't taste he cake mix. Why does being pregnant take the joy out of everything ?! Smells ok and I hope its nice, I've never made a carrot cake with homegrown carrots!
MI good luck at mw I cried when I heard our bubs' hb! It's amazing!
MummyP there's nothing worse! Bloody bin bags!

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:26:36

Fox that's a really good point, I've not even thought about post-birth. Someone tell me what happens please!

x0gawjus0x Wed 02-Oct-13 11:28:09

Hiya ive had a headache since yesterday and paracetamol isnt getting rid of it I even feel dizzy and i was sick this morning first time in about 5 weeks could it be cos of the amoxicillin what should i do? Its not from constipation cos ive been at last!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 11:31:04

It appears the other half intends to be on best behaviour. He's asked if we can reinstate a date night at weekends and is talking about spending all our spare cash this month on maternity clothes for me and baby things. Creep (unfair I know but I'm still seething).

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 11:34:11

Foxy Could you play it in your laptop?

Being left in a hospital overnight with a new baby and DP having to go home without us is one of the main reasons why I am having a home birth.

I'd rather be in my own bed with DP on hand to make bacon rolls and pour the champagne!

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 11:37:50

Comms Most of the time you get kept in overnight, and Dad's are sent home. I don't know if it's different in England, but in Scotland you are put on a ward with about 6 other new mums. My friend had a baby a few months ago and had quite a traumatic birth. Her DP really didn't want to leave them and go home but he wasn't allowed on the ward so he went and slept in the Chapel!

I am really easily affected by other people's emotions. If I am on a ward with a mum who is upset or crying it will make me so depressed!

CalltheMadwife Wed 02-Oct-13 11:52:22

It will differ at other places but if you deliver on the obstetric unit then you are transferred to the postnatal ward where unfortunately there is no provision for partners to stay overnight, think 4 beds and cots in one room and barely enough room to walk around the bed. So if you have your baby after 9pm and before 9am then your partner cannot come on the ward, but you normally have a couple of hours after baby is born in the delivery room. On the MLU there is provision for partners to stay, however if they need the rooms for labouring mums then you get transferred, you also have the option wherever you deliver to have a 2-6 hour discharge depending on type of delivery and both yours and baby's health, if any observations or ongoing treatment is needed. Of course with this option of it is your first baby and you need support from us mws you will miss out on this.

Hope this helps for those who wanted to know, same as Hotcross said this is another reason why I'm staying at home smile

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 12:03:35

At my hospital you can pay (!!) for an amenity room that is en suite and has a double ed so DH can say. There are two like this and cost £120. I will definitely be hopin that this is free when I give birth as it seems ideal.

Good in ya Jols, and glad he is making a good effort.

Keep us informed on the baking ladies. I would love so cake but am stuck in the office all day... Boo!

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 12:21:41

I've had pressure feeling on my cervix for the past two days - anyone else?!

Ugh. I am very upset. Some nasal slag from Equifax (a credit check company) has just called telling me that she cannot find me at any of the addresses I provided. Can we go through them again? 'What was your previous address?' 'Rehab' 'And the one before that?' 'A domestic violence refuge' '..and the one before that? Were you on the electoral register there?' 'I doubt it, I was living in a tent' (here she snorted. Yes..snorted) 'Do you have an address for that?' 'Are you taking the piss?' 'No' 'A field. next to a river. Lancashire. How's that?' (a snigger) Me: 'Are you laughing?' 'No, no, I've got a wee cough', 'Good, because I am not paying £75 admin charge for some pen-pushing cunt to laugh at my life circumstances.' I then hung up. I called Equifax and went fucking mortal at some supervisor who gave my arse a very thorough licking (think Lyra). I am not a thin-skinned woman, but that conversation has hit me hard. I don't know why. I don't expect anyone to fully understand what it is like to live even a short while as a homeless person but I don't expect anything less than respect when they learn of my past circumstances.

I am going to have to go out now to find someone to terrorise...

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 12:31:44

Hmm...sounds like something I need to ask the midwife about how it works in this area. I wouldn't like to be separated from DH so soon after having the baby, but that does seem to be how it's done.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 12:34:37

Ahh, X post. Sorry you had to put up with that twatty woman Pram. I lived in a tent once too for about 9 months! Although not under entirely the same circumstances...

IceNoSlice Wed 02-Oct-13 12:34:51

Today I am mostly angry angry angry angry angry angryangry angry angry

That is all.

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:35:00

pram go to Gregg's, be rude to the assistant and stuff your face with baked goods. You'll feel miles better then!

comms you can go home within 6 hours if everything was straightforward. Last time dd was born at 8am, I chose to stay for a rest (hah) and went to the ward at about 10, dh went home at 11, came back in the evening and then collected me the next morning. I don't know what I will do this time but I do quite enjoy some alone time with the baby after it's born.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 12:35:50

Oh Pram, I'm sorry that such people exist and are allowed customer facing roles. Would a banana milkshake doughnut help?

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 12:48:39

Pram what a vile woman. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Go get yourself a Greggs love.

Ice why lovely? Or are you just feeling the rage? Hope you feel better soon either way!

Thanks to everyone for the hospital info. I don't feel that horrified at the thought of staying overnight without DP but then I've never been in that situation.

What a cow, Pram. Don't let her get you down. Anyone who matters knows you're an amazing woman.

Baking has consisted some very amateurish apple turnovers and a loaf of bread to go with the tomato and pepper soup I'm making for dinner.

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 12:58:54

I cannot stand rudeness of any form from those who are in customer facing roles. Sorry you had to deal with this pram, but at least you know your life is not so shit you have to be like that woman.

I like to shit up the rude women at supermarkets who barely acknowledge my existence and talk through me at the woman across tills by asking if I can just see their name badge or asking their name. Amazingly attentive afterwards.

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 13:07:13

So few people can offer good customer service these days it's quite shocking hmm Sorry you had to deal with a twat Pram

In other news, the tiredness has struck again. I have a shit load to do for work today, then interview prep for tomorrow but all I wanna do is go for a snooze. sad

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 13:08:15

What a total cunt. You should find out where she lives pram!
Carrot cake was a success, feeling full of cake and sleepy, although fancy baking something else now smile
ice I think pregnancy rage is the in thing at the moment hope you chill out and feel better soon!

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 13:30:46

Whinge alert:

Feel utterly utterly crap. Nausea, mouth tasting of death, and needing to fall asleep at my desk are the tips of the Iceberg. 2.5 hours at work and then 2hrs of teaching still to go. Not sure i can cope. All I want to do is curl up in bed... When does the 2nd trimester energy surge happen then?!

Oh Pram what an utter bitch. I cannot abide rudeness angry

Comms at the MW led unit here, if you and baby are ok you are discharged after 4 hours. I'm really hoping for that!

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 13:33:46

How do you guys know all this stuff about your local hospitals? Have you asked or just found out online? Because I can't find out anything useful about our local ones online.

I found out online Fox

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:50:04

Pram I love that almost all of the advice you just got was Greggs related grin grin grin What a twat though, I'd be asking for the £75 reimbursing as compensation for her being a moron!

Re hypno CD's I transferred mine onto my iPod so I could listen with headphones and DH didn't have to listen to it.

When I had DS they aimed for 6 hour turnaround but if you had to stay in or chose to, then partners couldn't stay past 8pm. Annoying in one way, but at the same time I wouldn't have wanted random people there through the night - at least if a baby woke up there wasn't then a conversation between 2 parents or anything to make sleep even less likely! It was bad enough getting up for a wee and worrying about bleeding everywhere during the day, I couldn't have dealt with it all the night too. Agree though that this for me is one of the reasons for wanting home birth this time!

I think I have become upset because it has hit me that this information - this history of my life - will become known to my child as s/he is growing up. What will they think of their mum having been a homeless alcoholic? A stripper? A prostitute? Never having achieved anything whatsoever with her life? It's hit me like a ton of bricks how shocking this stuff is to those who do not know me or love me. To an outsider I appear to be nothing but a complete loser. I don't want my daughter or son to see me in that way sadsad

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 14:00:35

Maybe that would be nice! I think it's 6 at the hospital here.

Becca you poor thing. Hopefully the next few hours go fast and you can get home to bed.

I've been so calm this whole pregnancy but today I'm having lots of 'omg there's going to be a baby here in 23ish weeks!!' moments. I think it's mainly because I'm shattered and feel like my head's being split in two.

Imeg Wed 02-Oct-13 14:09:55

I'm sure that your son or daughter will look at anything in your past through the context of your life now and will be proud of you for how hard you've worked to overcome your difficulties and build a stable life for your child. And they will be lucky to have a parent with so much life experience to advise them. You've got plenty of time to consider how to introduce the subject positively before they hear any comments from anyone else.

In terms of achievement, it is a great achievement to get through rehab successfully and stay clean afterwards, and to maintain a home after being homeless.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:21

Pramella Now listen here young lady. You are going to be a great mother. (The fact that you are already worried about what your baby will think of you is a good indicator of this.) Therefore, your child will love you. You are his mum, afterall. As a child, he won't be able to imagine a life before he existed anyway. As an adult, he will have had years to work out that there is more to you than the things you list.

And as for 'never having achieved anything' Your life's not over yet! And arguably, bringing a new life into the world is the best achievement there is. (That's what I'm telling myself anyway, because if not I've not achieved anything either!)

Imeg Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:32

My midwife seems very sensible about the baby's needs not being likely to affect the actual birth and so has put me down for the midwife unit. I'm a little concerned though that the baby will be whisked away once it arrives for lots of assessment, which I feel would not be urgently required and could wait a week or so - doubt they would be considering any surgery before then anyway. Will have to talk to her about it, and make sure there's something clear in the notes so that the staff on duty at the time don't overreact because it's a condition they haven't heard of. Clearly if there's anything that needs doing which will be better for the baby to be done straight away that's fine but if it's not urgent then I'd rather it waited for a bit.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:46

Kegals all!

Just been to the gp who was about 22 and totes clueless. I had horrible stabby crampy pains keep me awake last night and wanted some advice Also I thought it was time I came clean about my stress and antenatal depression get a couple days off work. Things came to a head yesterday at work after a particularly difficult discussion with colleagues over a case presentation. It left me feeling selfcritical and uncontrollable crying AGAIN (in my car). I've had enough and needed to speak to someone. Despite her uselessness she did refer me to antenatal clinic where met the nicest Dr and mw (*call the midwife* I salute your profession). Good news is heart puffins heart beat and she's fine. They r testing my urine and bloods. And just as importantly lovely obstetrician consultant listened and advised.

Tearful, ragey ladies this is common at this time!

However it's been throughout pregnancy for me and he agrees it's depression and suggested low dose amitriptyline . Prambo I know u came off sSri but any experience of this? They're gonna monitor me I'm gonna rest (have a carrot cake & a copy of closer ds at nursery ) and start anti depressants. I've also had to tellmy bboss but that is a total relief.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:25:10

Pram please take this the right way but get out of the pity pool!!! Look at how much my DS loved you after meeting you for just an hour, you are going to be an awesome mum!!! ALL kids will be embarrassed by their parents - at least you have got a hell of a life story for them to hear about, and can offer first hand advice when they have problems growing up. Alternatively, you don't have to tell them if you don't want to; I went through a complete groupie phase (partying with rock bands backstage etc) that my DS will never know about however my mum slipped up a few years ago and I now know that my dad used to streak at concerts and football matches but you are defined by who you are not what you have done.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 14:30:18

Just wanted to add two more things.

Thanks for being a supportive bunch . I don't really know u but you have all been v kind when 've been whingeing and made me pmsl (literally!!) a lot lately too smile .

Secondly for Prambo . Ignore the officious bitch. Don't let this affect you. Sure you have a colourful past but you have also achieved so much between fishing and rehab and your ability to work in that school which takes a lot. You are very witty, incisive and honest, nurturing to others and strong. Your child won't care about your cv but it is these qualities that make you you. I have a chequered past too . I was a bit of wwild child/ slut when I was younger and I am deeplyashamed. I also shoplifted and took every drug out there. I dated an opium dealer then wasted my twenties with a stoner. I don't think any of this will be shared with my child EVER and he will judge me on my own merits. In the future who knows. Hugs.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:32:59

I, on the other hand, am perfectly angelic with nothing whatsoever to hide. <bats eyelashes>

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 14:33:53

I think you are a real inspiration pram and as imeg has said, you will control how your child learns and understand the information about your life. I can imagine thy all of our children will give us hell at some point. But ultimately you are their mum and they will live you for who you are now and the wonderful mum that we all know that you are going to be.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 14:37:25

Thanks comms just desperate to get into bed. I think it will be a 7.30 bedtime tonight!!

Cassiopeia01 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:43:14

Pram - I just want to echo everyone else's comments and say you will be a great mum. And can I just say that your post actually made me cry? Which wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't sat at Gare du Nord waiting for my train home with 3 colleagues who already think I'm mental and have now had it confirmed!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:51:27

pram you are not a loser! You've been through so much and also achieved so much. You will be a wonderful mum and you are such a strong woman!

Imeg will you need to see a paed consultant? Maybe you will be able to discuss options for after the birth with them.

Pram I can only echo what the others have already said. I think you're an amazingly brave and inspirational lady, and Prambino is very lucky to have you as a mother. And don't forget, he or she will love you unconditionally. No strings attached. And that will be all that matters in the world. Chin up lovely x

Pram, your baby will adore you. Don't be in any doubt about that. As has been said before they don't need to know every detail of your past and if they hear things, by then they'll be at an age to understand when you explain to them.

Comms, most likely a Turkish restaurant as that's DP's area of expertise. We have our eyes on one that's currently an Italian and it's just off the main shopping street in an affluent area of London so hopefully teeming with rich people with plenty of spare cash for meals out.
Might go and look at it from the outside this evening.

I've had a ruined-food disaster. My tomato soup was looking great till I added cream and it curdled. Now it looks like puke. DP reckons he can rescue it but I don't much fancy eating it now sad My apple turnovers were good though. Me and DS1 (home early from school) ate two each.

Apprentice, sorry you're having such a hard time. I can offer only hand-holding.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:58:44

Right! It's time for the Tesco shop people. Give me a meal plan!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 15:01:13

Stop being soft Pram! A little one doesn't care about your past...they care about the now. They only get judgy when they're hitting their tweens and by then they've had plenty of time to form their own opinions of their mummy based on your experiences together.

My parents were into all sorts before I came along...I didn't care when I was little (I only cared they wouldn't buy me the new care bears teddy and crap like that) and I don't care now (the last thing I'd want is to think my parents had had a boring life before my brother was born).

Breathe with me and repeat 'I will be fine'

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:02:22

fox this is what we are having roughly.
Tonight: pork belly strips, roasties and runner beans
Tomorrow: sausages, mash and peas
Friday: chicken casserole and veg
Saturday: cottage pie and veg
Sunday: roast chicken dinner
Monday: pizzas and salad

Then after that I don't know. We have an abundance of potatoes to use up, hence the potato heavy theme!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:07:18

So I've baked a carrot cake, chocolate cupcakes, lemon shortbread, almond crinkle biscuits and some sausage rolls. Meanwhile the cat puked on the couch, the dog killed a chicken and a bomb must've exploded in the kitchen, I'm not even properly dressed and OH will be home in less than an hour.

Meh.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:12:20

MummyP if you can't use all of the potatoes let them sprout and plant them in spring anyone can grow a few tatties, and it'll save you money smile

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:12:49

Thanks Mummypig. I've never used pork belly, do tell me about it.

I've never made a cottage pie either, but I think I would like it.

Cassiopeia01 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:13:38

Blimey Kara. Move over nigella!!! grin

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:18:15

Fox I did spaghetti bolognese last night, leftovers are forming tonight's tea by having beans, kidney beans, chilli powder and rice added, then done in wraps and baked in the oven with a ton of cheese on top (sort of like burritos but not quite), roasted veg risotto tomorrow night, Friday is probably take away night, then Sat DH is at some sort of rugby thing so me and DS will probably have jacket potatoes smile

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:23:07

Oh yes, Burritos are a firm favourite here. So is spaghetti bolognaise. I make a well good bolognaise. Hmm, but probably can't have 2 mince beef dishes in a week, so might have to choose.

I would happily eat jacket potatoes for dinner too. Not sure about DH though. Unless it involves meat, carbs and two veg he's not convinced it is a real dinner.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:26:39

Maybe do chicken instead of mince in the burritos? Get one of those fajita seasoning packets for about 30p, fry up chicken, onion, veg, mix in some passata and rice? I tend to make huge portions of things so I don't have to cook from scratch the next day lazy or I freeze half to use as a homemade ready meal!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:29:12

Check you lot out with your meal plans and wholesome dishes. I'm having frozen chicken nuggets and chips grin

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 15:29:43

<drools at the food chat>

I need A TGI's. More specifically, jack daniels chicken strips. Last time we were at TGI's DP got food poisoning. But he's going to have to suck it up because I've decided this is a bona fide craving. grin

Thank you, girls, I'm sorry for being a puff. Until this fuckwit made a mockery of my circumstances I hadn't really worried about my child's reaction to my life if and when this shit came out (there is public information out there about me if s/he were curious enough). If I have been anxious it has been with regards to how and when to tell him/her that s/he has a donor mum. I will try to stay rational and live in the now. Good advice, that..

Apprentice, I'm glad you have been listened to by the GP. How do you feel about ametrypteline? I am on Seroxat because without it I would, by now, be in a mental institution. I am an advocate of drugs in all circumstances where quality of life is going down the toilet. You are struggling and there is fuck all wrong with that. Life is hard and sometimes feels intolerable.Take the meds and don't look back. Allow yourself to feel weird or 'otherworldly' for a couple of weeks while your brain adjusts. Always, always remember that your mental health is everything; not work; not money; not your partner or husband; not bills or childcare. These things will only fall into place and function properly if you are well. You must learn to value yourself above and beyond how you are perceived by your work colleagues and bosses and friends. I hope that makes sense x

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 15:31:17

And haud yer wheesht Pram. Everybody has a past. You don't need to tell your future child about it if you don't want to, and if anybody else does you can break their legs. thanks

Cassiopeia01 Wed 02-Oct-13 15:31:51

I want a Big Mac and chips with a vanilla milkshake.... But I will not be having one. Boo!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 15:34:46

I'd stay away from amitrypitilne at all costs but that a personal experience!

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:36:14

Without a meal plan kara I would be in the supermarket every day (or rather DH would) and that is even worse than having to do it once a week, which is frankly too much for me.

I am so shattered I think I might spew.

Kara, that's an impressive lot of baking. Fox, cottage pie is really easy. I can give you my "recipe" if you like but it won't contain any specific weights or measurements.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 15:47:58

Yes please Lyra!

I just spewed. I can really read when it's coming on, it seems.

Morning sickness is weird. As soon as I've vommed, I'm right back to thinking about/eating food.

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 15:56:18

Can I winge. I am feeling angry and teary at the same time. Back from the 16 week midwife check and she refused to check the heartbeat ‘not standard clinical practice’ apparently. Really disappointed sad I was looking forward to it so much.

Ok, fry up a diced onion and some mince (I use a standard supermarket pack which I think is about 500g give or take). Add a mug of beef bisto gravy (yes, this is cheating) enough so the mince is glistening but not swimming in it, salt and pepper and a couple of handfuls of frozen peas or some other veg if you have no peas. Leave to simmer.
Boil and mash some potatoes (about four large ones should do it), add butter, cream and a pinch of salt.
Put mince mixture in oven dish, top with mash, sprinkle on some grated cheese and put in the oven for half an hour or so till the top is golden and the mince mixture is starting to bubble up the sides. Serve with veg.
This "recipe" probably isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be done but it works for us, is fairly easy and my boys adore it.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 16:00:52

mi that's shite, you would have thought she could of had a little check seen as you asked, it only takes a few minutes. What a boot.
Fox I didn't mean that offensively just I can't imagine my self ever doing a meal plan I never even manage to remember a shopping list when I go t shops!

Mimili, that's mean. It wouldn't have killed her to let you have a little listen.

This is why I'm glad I have my Doppler. I can listen when I want. I probably only use it once every four or five days now but I know it's there if I want it. Could you get one?

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 16:01:14

Prambo wise words appreciated.
Kara can you elaborate further? it's been a big deal to ask for help and i know also a big deal to find the right anti depressant in pregnancy so would appreciate your thoughts and anyone else'swink

impressive baking/cooking everyone!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 16:04:36

Weird seeing other people's recipes Lyra! Especially when there are such subtle differences!

How do you do it, Jolls? I think cottage pie is one of those where everybody has their own recipe.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 16:14:28

Lyra I do it basically the same way as you, but tend to throw in some lentils to bulk it out a bit, and put more veggies in rather than serving veg on the side smile

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 16:22:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BakingEating Wed 02-Oct-13 16:22:46

Finding all this talk of baking very confusing... smile

Lyra there's a Turkish restaurant round the corner from my work and it is AMAZING. It's actually part of a chain of restaurants here called "bona'me". If you're looking for ideas Germany is probably the home of European Turkish restaurants so it might be worth researching.

Hungry now. Think tomato and mozzarella with pasta for dinner this evening. Dribble.

x0gawjus0x Wed 02-Oct-13 16:25:49

How strange lyra just seen your post and ive got mine in the oven as i read it haha

Feeling quite regular movements really low in my stomach above me foof i love it :D eee!! 18+2 xoxxoxo

There's millions of Turkish restaurants here too, Baking. Every town seems to have one. DP has been a chef for 20 years so he has definite ideas for the menu. It won't be kebab and chips, that's for sure.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 16:40:21

Kara don't u dare feel idioticsmile Thanks for sharing. Did you od on them or just take the packet as prescribed? wasn't clear! I'm only looking for a small dose to give me a lift and help me sleep also.

Sorry to hear the treatments u got didn't help..sometimes with counselling it is about timing and may not ve been a good time for u. Glad that dog therapy helped. Having a baby can also change your life so positively ime.

cottage pie...I'm on it.smile

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 16:42:07

I went to a Turkish resturant in central London the other day and it was pants! If you can do it well it will be delish though, and definately more space for good ones!!

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 16:43:31

They will definitely help you sleep apprentice DP was prescribed them a while back for nerve pain in his face. Before I got pregnant if I ever wanted a really good nights sleep I'd take half of one (25mg) and it put me in the deepest, loveliest sleep ever! grin

Apprentice I've taken them for pain as well, though it didnt help me in that aspect. Does make you sleepy though!! And very, very thirsty if I remember correctly!! I'm so eased you're getting some help, it must be such a weight off x

I miss baking so so much!! I cannot wait to be bake to my Mary Berry self wink

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 16:55:43

thanks maybe & hottie for ur advice. I confess round the ODD co codomol in the past when I've had difficulty sleeping and would love the feeling of sleeping for more than two hours wink

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 16:57:57

Apprentice I'm sorry I can't talk about it, I'm glad your getting help tho smile

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 17:03:27

Lyra - I have mushrooms in mine too and put in raw sliced carrots at the same time as the stock (which normally has a splash of red wine added). As well as a tablespoon of tomato paste for richness. And I seem to use more onion with a clove of garlic. And I only put frozen peas in once I've taken the meat mix off the heat entirely. And sometimes I get herby lol. With a bit of lea n perrins grin And we serve with beans and pickled red cabbage.

Come to think of it, I just don't do things very simply.

Cottage Pie butties work just as well as normal pie butties though wink

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 17:07:18

fox dh went to the co op early on Sunday for bacon and came back with bargain pork belly strips for £1.50 and chicken breasts for £1.50. So I'm just going to roast the pork belly strips, they won't take long, maybe 20-30 minutes with a little oil, salt and pepper.

Cottage pie is really easy. I think everyone's recipe is slightly different though. Fry onion, carrot and mince until mince is browned. Crumble in a beef stock cube, add a little water, peas and I put in a tin of beans which is probably really weird but my mum always did it and it tastes good! Top with mash and cheese and in the oven for 30-45 minutes.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 17:07:57

Kara no worries smile

My cottage pie includes celery, carrots, onions, garlic, bacon, tomato puree and a bit of flour (before the stock goes in and to bind the veg, bacon and puree together). My mash includes cheese and nutmeg. Spectacularly sublime.

Why was your post deleted, Kara? It's fucking Censorship Central round here at the moment hmm

Mimil, what a sour-faced slag. I'm sorry you're disappointed sad

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 17:14:00

Are we all on the cottage pie then tonight?I've got the spuds simmering....

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 17:22:48

Has the Martian Mole struck again?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 17:23:11

Yep, mee too for the flour...nice thick gravy grin

I'm actually getting a takeaway curry tonight...DP is attempting to cheer me up.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 17:30:06

I asked for it to be removed pram

Pram your recipe is the same as mine!

All this censorship is getting a bit daft isn't it. Hope you're ok Kara

Sorry, cross post Kara smile

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 17:40:20

No cottage pie in Broughty Ferry tonight I made OH pork meatballs with gravy and garlic&herb crusted tatties. He has strange tastes! I'm in bed already so no supper for me tonight.

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 17:43:00

Thanks Guys - just such a shame that practices vary so much from area to area and hospital trust to hospital trust. Such a simple thing which I thought would be lovely for bonding and just another thing to assure me all is ok. And denied because it is not standard practice.

All this talk about food is making me hungry! And i'm still at work... and then an hour home in London traffic. Grr. Tonight is supposed to be date night but I need to pack for holiday which isnt going to be simple as I appear to have a rather large belly! shock

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 17:51:19

Have a fab holiday mimi! Where are you going?

Kara feel better soon.

No cottage pie for us tonight. That's later on this week. I'm looking forward to it though! The kids are tucking into their dinner and I'm jealous but I'm waiting for dh to come home. He is picking up his car from his dads garage where it had an mot, so he had to get the train today and the one he was meant to come home from work on was cancelled so he won't be back til the kids are in bed.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 17:53:41

One more hour of tutoring then bed... One more hour of tutoring then bed...

As you were Martians, just withering to myself, trying to get through the next hour!

ScumbagMarbieAndTravellerKen, do you use the BBC Good Food recipe then? It has red wine in it, too, but I omit that.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 18:05:09

We're going to pizza express and bowling with some of DP's friends. I just want to eat cottage pie in bed. sad

I do indeed PramInACaravan. That and my ridiculously large collection of books!

CalltheMadwife Wed 02-Oct-13 18:16:26

We're having chicken fanjitas when OH gets home, I've not prepped them yet though, still in bed and need to have a shower to de-stink and steam this cold out of me.

The mw didn't listen to the FH at my 17 week appointment either mimi not to worry though as there is no reason to listen in, sorry to sound all practical but if they couldn't find it what would you do? I know I'd freak out, unless you're concerned and had pain/bleeding try to trust in your body and pregnancy being a natural occurrence, women have done this for centuries way before scans and dopplers. I have access to dopplers all day at work but have not listened in, no reason to at this early stage smile

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 18:43:32

Thanks for the cottage pie recipes ladies. I'll make one soon.

No way could I cook anything after work though. Too knackered. DH has made cheese toasties, gone to Asda and will be doing eggs on his return. I want soft boiled but he won't believe me that it's OK if they are lion stamped!

Wish there was a Turkish restaurant in Kendal. We've got nothing beyond the usual Italian/Indian/Chinese.

I forgot Worcester sauce!

A proper cottage pie takes 2¼ hours from prep to finish, so I'm not surprised you can't face it when you get home from work, Foxy. Save it for a Sunday afternoon.

MaybeIt'sBecauseI'mAnIlliterateWorkshyTwat, the majority of my dishes are sourced from t'BBC Good Food website.

Where is Rosyran? sad

IceNoSlice Wed 02-Oct-13 18:56:21

What a day. Oscillating between irrational rage and verge of tears. Nothing particularly happened (thank goodness) but I feel like I've been through the wringer. It's all because of overdoing it: work, family and no sleep.

I want cottage pie. But it's fusilli Bol from the freezer for us, in front of bake off on iplayer then bed.

Pram and Apprentice I had stuff to say but the others beat me to it. flowers for you both.

Lyra, thanks for being so lovely before (and everyone else who lied so beautifully about me being a good person) smile

I honestly love you lot.

Ice, we love you on 'ere, so let your stupid hormones do their thing. Enjoy guffawing at Mel on GBBO when she makes her 'ginger dick' comment. You'll be tee-heeing, I promise. Thanks for the flowers; pissy dog daisies are my absolute favourite.

April13 Wed 02-Oct-13 19:00:51

Been a while again lol! So busy at work, but am keeping up to date on Facebook! This thread has made me hungry, so ive made macaroni cheese with fried streaky bacon and spring onion through it topped off with tomato abd cheese browned under the grill grin

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 19:01:40

pramzilla I personally think your an ersehole.

lumpylumps Wed 02-Oct-13 19:15:26

My auntie lives in broughty ferry Kara

Pram, it's all been said but you should be proud of your past, it's made you who you are and has the best ending!!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 19:35:20

Ice you deserve an early night and a good sleep. I hope things are brighter in the morning!

Dh returned home with bags full of treats. His mum had taken him to the co op and gone round going "do you want some of these?" And chucking it all in. She's a bloody star she is. We have chocolate, juice, beer for dh, cheese, crisps, cereal bars. Basically stuff I never buy because we don't have the extra money. What a great MiL I have.

JustCallMeBaldrick Wed 02-Oct-13 19:58:08

We were going to have cottage pie too, only the kids decided they 'don't like it', so we had mince, mash and veg instead grin

April, your tea sounds like the dog's ballsack. Yummy!

Ice, I meant Sue not Mel!

Kara, you cheeky minge.

Balldrick, that cracked me up, did that! Kids..

All hail MummyPig's MIL!

PainAuxRaisins Wed 02-Oct-13 20:40:35

Bloody hell - 5 pages into the new thread already??? Have skim read to the best of my ability re. annoying exes, hypnobirthing, thread censorship and 2nd trimester mood-swings etc. Can empathise with a few of those. Work is still mental hence lack of posts plus got 1st hot flush today in middle of office (madwife - is that normal?? I though that was something you got in the menopause??)

BadlyWrittenPoem Wed 02-Oct-13 20:48:46

Just managed to accidentally post this on the old thread so reposting...

I can't believe we're six pages into a new thread since yesterday!

grey I just had the hypnobirthing book/CD and I also downloaded a random hypnobirthing MP3 onto my ipod which I listened to (or mainly fell asleep to) quite a bit. The CD and the MP3 I had did both sound pretty silly (I used headphones because otherwise DH wouldn't have been able to resist making silly remarks and making me laugh at it) but if you just go with it/ignore any bits you don't want to try then it's great.

I want to know what Pram said.

gawjus there are loads of constipation meds that are safe to take in pregnancy - if you ask your Dr or pharmacist they should be able to give you something. I'm on lactulose and eating dried apricots and drinking prune juice because constipation is a side effect of the medication I am on for sickness aside from the fact that it is more likely in pregnancy anyway. DO make sure you are drinking plenty as dehydration can make it worse.

Cass, hope your trip to Paris wasn't too tiring.

At my hospital you stay in the room you gave birth in unless it's busy in which case you're transferred to the post natal ward but visiting hours are still the same. I think it's something like 10am-8pm although DH stayed later than that when DD1 was born because we were supposed to be being discharged and then weren't. (DD hadn't fed and the MW went on about how we wouldn't have any help with feeding problems if we went home although in actual fact we didn't have problems until after we were home anyway.) Being able to all stay together is another factor in my choice of a homebirth. It's also much nicer using your own bathroon than the hosptial one.

Pram I am cross on your behalf at the rude people at Equifax!

"I think I have become upset because it has hit me that this information - this history of my life - will become known to my child as s/he is growing up. What will they think of their mum having been a homeless alcoholic? A stripper? A prostitute? Never having achieved anything whatsoever with her life? It's hit me like a ton of bricks how shocking this stuff is to those who do not know me or love me. To an outsider I appear to be nothing but a complete loser. I don't want my daughter or son to see me in that way"
Pram, I've known you online for about two weeks and I do not think you are a complete loser. Everyone has things in their past they are not proud of (and anyone who says they haven't is probably lying) and you have managed to turn your life around which in my opinion is a huge acheivement. You will be your child's mum and he or she will love you and will not see you as a complete loser.

apprentice, antenatal depression is common in hyperemesis sufferers so I've come across quite a few people who have been put on amitryptilene - I'm guessing it must be the anti-depressant of choice for pregnancy as it's the one I've always hear mentioned.

I've spent most of today in bed after having gone to out of hours GP last night about a very painful boil which makes sitting rather difficult. blush I'm now on antibiotics (which have made me feel really sick just when I was almost feeling normal) and paracetamol and codeine. I was told that if it's not improving by tomorrow morning I have to go see my GP as it may need to be removed so have had a hot water bottle on it half the day in the hopes that that will help speed up the healing process.

But on the plus side, since DH was home due to me being ill he went and picked up a copy of my slapped cheek results and I was definitely already immune. smile

April13 Wed 02-Oct-13 21:01:03

pram it was grin however, with the amount I've eaten in the last week I think I'm going to give birth to a food baby!

Never commented earlier, but f*^k equifax! Everyone else is right, we all have pasts etc, makes you who you are today.

Not read about hyponobirthing, but have started reading about epidurals, diamorphine and general anesthetic......

liberuna Wed 02-Oct-13 21:24:36

pram ditto on bwp said, you is brilliant and your experiences (good or bad) have made you who you are today. One way to look at it is, who is going to have the best advice in to the world to give to little Prambino?

On phone so forgive lack of names - thanks to those with boils abscesses, and pains and going through depression . Lots of rest, keep hydrated, take appropriate drugs and of course keep talking to the rest of us.

Exes - yuk I hate them all. i have same probs with OH ex keeps calling about random crap. OH trying to be nice, would meet up for 'catch-up' drinks but plan them for when I was busy with work or other friends. angry I told him that it felt like sneaking behind my back and that if he wanted to see her (not that often) he should do it whenever.
Bad news is that they are still friends because they only broke up because she didn't want kids. Good news is that because we are now on baby front we are hearing less and less from her. (small victories)

I think it was kara Big Round of Applause for the baking feast wow!
All your food talk had me starving so made cod and a cheese sauce served with pasta and peas yum yum yum

BWP, you almost made me cry and I'm rock-hard, me, not Thank you for your words. When I say I feel like a loser it is largely in financial and career terms. I had to abort my degree only months before graduation as I had become too ill with my addiction to continue. Tutors and students alike were very concerned at my state and knew I was very ill and in-and-out of hospital from Christmas onwards. After three years of hard work, and being on the verge of a first class degree, I had to drop out. I know I make light of my unemployed status on this thread - and believe me when I say I made a conscious choice post-rehab to opt out of the rat race - but when I read of all your successes in career and education and family I often whimper at my own failures.

Don't get me wrong, it is what it is and I am grateful to have such a lack of stress or competitiveness in my life that careers so often bring. But I grieve the freedom and pleasure that money brings and I fear my child will think less of me for having not graduated and fulfilled my potential. Please don't all go nuts; I know that's absurd but that's how I feel. I will never return to education again. I never want to have to study again. There are too many horrendous memories of what happened in (and out of) lecture halls. I feel horribly thwarted academically but am not prepared to do anything about it. I fear I would end up back on the drink through sheer force of high expectations of myself. I don't want my lack of ambition to rub off on my child but I fear I will not have a leg to stand on if s/he were to drop out.

I am sorry this post is so long, these are things I bury on a daily basis; the fear of being unfulfilled and never having money or a mortgage again, never being intellectually challenged or proud of my work ethic. I joke a lot on threads about being on benefits but I pray this baby brings me the ultimate fulfilment, otherwise I'm fucked.

Please don't all feel the need to respond to my last post. It really was just a running dialogue that plays over-and-over in my head and needed to be put down on paper, so to speak. Please, no need for input. I know you all understand thanks

liberuna Wed 02-Oct-13 21:29:44

By the way - for those not on facebook we are arranging a London Meet up

A Friday in November at Waterloo station - nothing's confirmed yet so if you would like to join and/or dates, location etc are not compatible please let me know smile

and for the grammar police is that apostrophe correct?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 21:54:27

Your apostrophe is well placed liberuna wink

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 21:57:06

You have a good point though -

There is also a North West Meet Up for those of you not on Facebook...get in touch if you're interested. Details all yet undetermined but likely to be somewhere in Manchester City Centre

SuperMuddle Wed 02-Oct-13 21:57:51

Well fuck me sideways, six pages into thread eleven already??

pram, although my circumstances are very different from yours, I understand about feeling you have not achieved what you 'should' have done. I can't add any more than others have already said, but I have massive admiration for you and what you have achieved.

lib, in my capacity as an unbearable grammar freak, I can confirm that your apostrophe was indeed correct, as "nothing's" is a contraction of "nothing is". I will now stop being unbearable at least for now

Recently got back from yoga. I feel ace, and thoroughly recommend it to anyone who is interested.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 21:58:32

Lib yes to the apostrophe smile

OwlinaTree Wed 02-Oct-13 22:11:13

pram that phone lady was a cow. Ignore her. Don't worry about what your child will think. You are his mum and he will love you for you. You have achieved a lot. Many people can't come back from addictions - you have.

Was it Lyra who said she was going to open a restaurant with her DH? I would love to do that with my DH , probably a cafe tho, as I don't want to work evenings.

BakingEating Wed 02-Oct-13 22:12:44

pram you shouldn't feel like that, but I understand where you're coming from because we all feel these pressures to a greater or lesser extent. Looking at it another way, I've done well academically and have a job that frankly I feel like I don't deserve. But I'd sacrifice so, so much of that for just a scrap of social confidence, the ability to know what to say and to be able to remember that how I interact with people does actually have an effect on them. Believe me, this brings it's own parenting worries, lots and lots and lots of parenting worries.

BakingEating Wed 02-Oct-13 22:17:52

Oh plus, for the first few months, baby will just think of you as "big milky orbs", after that we're all just winging it. All of us, all the time.

PainAuxRaisins Wed 02-Oct-13 22:51:13

Oh pram - I can relate. I've always wondered what kind of job I'd be in if I hadn't screwed up my A-levels and before getting pregnant with DD1 I despaired at my routine office job. But now so glad I didn't have a high powered 'career' as I would have found it so hard to give up. When DD came along it put everything in perspective - to quote you, it really was the ultimate fulfilment (so much so I'm now onto baby 3!). I'm sure it will be the same for you. Put the past behind you where it belongs - you have a really exciting new chapter starting very soon and you're going to love it xxx

Crikey, my heart actually soared when I read your posts, Pain and Baking. Pain, I have always, always suspected that motherhood would be my panacea; the answer to all the shitty turmoil and pointlessness which has gone before. I know it's going to be hard and unwieldy, torturous and heartbreaking too, but who cares? I'm going to be a mum! smile

Baking, being a gregarious and effervescent sort of twat it always startles me to learn that not everyone is like me (and thank fuck for that small mercy). What I mean is, I look upon some of you as sort of demi-gods in that you clearly have ace careers and earn wads of dough and work really, really hard for it, which allows you to have big cars, french doors and fairy lights. It doesn't occur to me that you may feel thwarted or unfulfilled in all sorts of ways that I could never imagine. This sounds wrong but thank you for that, I mean it.

Pram, I won't go on and on but that baby of yours will more than make up for the lack of a career, I'm sure. And it's a hard-fought-for baby so a major achievement to boot. I do completely understand how conflicted you feel though. Just do your best with what you have. Nobody can ask more of you than that, not even yourself. Wish I could give you a rl hug.

Owl, yes it's me with the crazy restaurant plan. It's just that this is probably the only time in my life that I'll have an opportunity like this, with XP buying out my share of our house, so I could go the safe route and use the money to buy another house or take a big risk and give me and DP the chance to work for ourselves, which we've both always wanted. It could all go belly up and leave us broke but if I don't take the chance I'll never know.
We went to see one tonight, disguised as regular customers so we could see what the place was really like without the sales pitch. It's really tiny and on three floors of a little Georgian building and it's got wonky stairs and other quaint stuff. And it was really busy ion a Wednesday night which bodes well. And it's in a great position, just off the high street and moments away from the green. I waaaant iiiittt!! grin

Madwife, I know there's no medical reason to listen to the FH right now but it's nice to listen in every now and then. There's something magical about hearing your tiny baby's heart galloping away.

I'm so bloody knackered after a day of cooking, cleaning and dashing about sorting stuff out. And I only got three hours' sleep last night so I'm ready to drop but will probably read in bed for a while first.

I also am somewhat lacking in confidence most of the time so I'd also trade some of what I have materially for some of your gregariousness (is that a word?), Pram. It's something that can't be learned in a school or bought so it's a precious thing.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 07:11:32

DP just woke me up to tell me to turn my alarm off (for 7:30) as he's going to take me to work and will wake me up (at 8). I'm obviously now wide awake. Think he was trying to be nice??

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 07:11:39

At 7am on days I have to work, I am a barely human zombie. Today is my day off, so why the frickin' smeg am I wide awake now???

Anyway, good morning all grin

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 07:12:53

Haha comms, cross- posted! Bless your DP, I think he was...

Beccadugs Thu 03-Oct-13 07:28:49

I've definitely got a cold. Would it be wrong to call in sick? I can't as I have stuff to do today, but a girl can dream...

x0gawjus0x Thu 03-Oct-13 07:40:13

Shreddies for breakfast although im half tempted to reheat some of last nights cottage pie lol!

I bought my first baby outfit today a pink thumper onesie its so cute im in love roll on the next 20 weeks...

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 07:45:26

Interview day confused

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Oct-13 07:46:16

I woke up at 3am with a stitch like pain in my side and it's still there. Halfway up my tummy on the left hand side. Worse when sitting or lying and when breathing in. I haven't got time for this shit today!

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 08:08:21

Good luck Jolls smile

Good luck, Jolls. Bleddy hate interviews, me.

No, you're not dreaming, I actually am up at 8.15. Can you tell I'm signing on? hmm

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 08:15:38

Ladies, there's a groupon deal today for a Kurvi Match Pram and Pushchair. Down to £165 from £345. Worth a look for people on a budget.

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 08:18:58

Thanks comms & Pram. I'm not too shabby with interviews to be honest but had hoped to avoid this one altogether...I've technically already done it.

Fair play to the company though...they make sure even those they approach go through the same process as those who've applied off their own back.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 08:25:58

Did you wet the bed Pram wink

Comms, I had forgotten there were two eight o'clocks in the day.

I'm bored.

Are you all on trains or watering office plants or summat?

I like plants.

..but not them working-class spider plants. They're shit.

<picks nose>

<flicks at cat>

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 08:45:09

I'm in the office Pram but not watering plants!

Rockchick1984 Thu 03-Oct-13 08:49:07

I'm still in bed blush

Not got any plans today which is pretty unusual, so don't think I can get out of having to do some housework. I've not planned this very well!!

Jolls, where do you see yourself in five years? <interview head tilt>

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 09:01:37

watching cbeebies under blanket mustering nerve to phoning in sick to boss again shock

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 09:02:22

goo luck joll

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 09:03:00

Good luck jolls!

pram, if you're bored, you can come and clean my house...

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 09:05:15

Good luck JolleighGoodAtInterviews, it's in the bag!

Pram leave the poor cat alone.

Day off with DS day smile. Still a lot of dribble but he slept better and I can see those lower canines so hopefully we're coming out of this bout of teething. Considering going to Mucky Pups at the children's centre. Have a good day all.

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 09:05:57

Good luck joll!!!

Ah that explains why you're awake pram, I thought I was daydreaming wink

We currently have the nice removals men putting all our stuff in storage and I've been cleaning for 2 minutes so I smell like bleach already yuk

Dp is helping them it is quite funny to watch as they're very tough looking polish men and dp, well... isn't.

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:05:58

Good Luck Jolls! Report back ASAP please!

Good luck Jolls smile

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 09:11:38

Well Pram, I see myself in a decision making role within the business in 5 years time and am very keen to progeess my journey through the role we're discussing today. This role will help my plan not only by increasing my own profile, but also exposing me to new areas of the business and therefore expanding my body of knowledge wink

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 09:14:05

Ta ladies. Interview is in about an hour so I'll report back after lunch (it's also pay day so retail therapy is going very be my 'wind down' of choice grin)

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:18:11

Hire that woman immediately!

I'm puking with a throbbing head. I thought a bacon sandwich would be a good idea (hangover style) but it really, really wasn't.

In other news... It's a BOY!

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 09:25:36

congrats Edamame ...I already have a lovely boy and would be chuffed with another.

I've left a message but boss hasn't called back and I'm getting really stressed. I've convinced myself she's angry for taking sick days and for my fuckups at work. someone hold my hand pls. sad

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 09:26:06

Ahhhhhh edamame!!!!!! Welcome to the Martian boys club where there are mud pies and worms a plenty! grin

x0gawjus0x Thu 03-Oct-13 09:36:23

2 boys and 3 girlssss?!? Eee :D x

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:43:46

It's still early Apprentice. She's probably stuck in traffic, drinking coffee or having a meltdown in the office bogs wishing she wasn't such a bitch <totally inappropriate, maybe you like your boss...>

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 09:47:16

Thanks smile

Hope your move goes smoothly Grey

Rockchick1984 Thu 03-Oct-13 09:48:03

Congrats Edam!!

Apprentice even if she is angry she can't do anything about it except silently be pissed off, so don't worry. I doubt if that's why she's not called you though, she's probably just busy.

faithfulandtruthful Thu 03-Oct-13 09:52:22

Ice Thrilled to hear you had a better night. Hope you're (or rather he) is over the worst.

Edam Congrats on the blue result.

Since I was last on baby has continued to move pretty much constantly and I am starting to wonder if I have a baby insomniac since it moves even whilst I am on the go. It liked going on the bus (I think it was the vibrations). I am also getting some wicked hormone headaches (the kind pain killers don't touch) but I was expecting them as my body just isn't that keen on progesterone, was hoping to make it to 20 weeks before they kicked in so I could think well there's less to go that there has already been but hey oh.

Hope you all have a good day, I am planning a french/apple themed pudding baking session, one Tart Tatin (you cook it upside down in a pan and turn it out at the end) and one Tart aux Pomme (that's apple tart to an English person!).

F&T

BakingEating Thu 03-Oct-13 09:53:29

Hope it's gone well Jolls and congratulations Edamame

It's a bank holiday here so me and dh are planning our last two trips back to London before baby is born. I'm wondering if there's anything I can get baby that will link her/him to the UK. I was wondering what the smells, tastes and (little) toys are that remind you most of your babies or your own childhood. For me, Fairy non-bio washing powder smells of clean children's things, and reddy brek is the taste of breakfast (although I'm sure we'll visit again before we get to that stage). So what (hand luggage sized) would you get?

JustCallMeBaldrick Thu 03-Oct-13 10:24:10

Congratulations on your blue bump edamame

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 10:28:56

Baking that's a lovely idea. Fairy and Reddy Brek definitely! I can't think of anything off the top of my head but I'll get back to you smile

Edam congrats on the boy!

Grey hope the move part one goes well! We haven't even started packing yet!

Ice so glad you've had a better night.

I've pounding headache today. Not sure I'm going to make it to 5pm! sad

RaspberrysAndIcecream Thu 03-Oct-13 10:30:57

New thread - pg 8!!! I think I've caught up!!
Hello!!!!
I'm reading a lot but not really posting at the moment. Not really got much to say?!
I think I felt the baby on Sunday morning but I'm not sure?!! Was laying in bed with dh and he had his hand on my stomach, we were chatting about the baby and I felt these sort of bubbles in my stomach, right underneath his hand. I was only 15 + 1 and this is my first baby so from everything I've read it's to early but I don't know what else it could have been?

Pram - what the hell with the bitch on the phone - you'll be a fab Mum, please don't give that cowbag a second thought.

Good luck with the job interview Jol

You're hired, Jolls, now go and water them plants.

Congratulations, Edam! thanks

Apprentice, please don't worry what others are thinking, even if she is your boss. You are doing the right thing being off work x

Thanks, Rasp smile

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 10:50:17

Pram the only plant in my office is a pathetic looking cactus that no one ever waters. There is a sign in the list encouraging us to bring plants in to make us happier though. hmm

Morning all!

Baking how about rusks?! And karvol ways reminds me of childhood!

Great news Edamame!

Good luck Jolls. You'll ace it!

Comms, I love cacti, me. Go and give it a cuddle grin

It's shitter than shit getting up at 8am! It's such a long day 'til th'usband gets home at 7pm sad

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 11:26:13

The interview went quite well I reckon. I'll know in less than 2 weeks.

Random bit of trivia: I once slapped a cactus.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 11:28:49

Joll well done smile

Pram get yourself back to bed!

MTBMummy Thu 03-Oct-13 11:33:25

HI all - how the hell did you get onto thread 11 already? I go away for 10 days and it appears I'm not the biggest chatterbox grin

So have almost finished moving house, last bits this weekend (yay) but have packed up every thing in the old house, fully decorated the new house, and moved about 70% of stuff across.

Spend 6 days up a ladder painting has made me realise there are bits of me that hurt that I never even knew I had.

Also had my birthday and got nothing from DP or DD (granted DP would have to get a gift for her to give me) I know we're spending a small fortune on a house, and we agreed not to do presents, but I got him a couple of small bits for his birthday a few weeks ago - so I'm grumpy

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 11:40:41

Technically I start work at 8am, although that hasn't happened in about 3 months.

Pram I, too, feel like a bit of a failure on the education/career front. I did graduate, but with a 2:2 (1% off a 2:1!!) because I think I was so desperate to leave and move in with my boyfriend by the end that I sort of mentally checked out by exam time. Not that it matters, I mean what the fuck does one do with a geography degree, anyway?!

So I left uni and started doing exactly the same low level jobs I was doing before I started my degree, and never really got anywhere from there. I never did work out what I want to do when I grow up (and not from lack of trying). My friends either have fancy well paid jobs in London or are still travelling the world.

I've made such a twat of myself in work today. I'm so tired, I'm dead on my feet. I got so tired yesterday I threw up. On the drive in this morning I was feeling a bit sorry for myself & had a little cry, which then happened again when I was sitting in my office, so I had to go to the toilets, but I was in there for ages and came back with a red face & I'm pretty sure everyone noticed. I have no vestige of professionalism left. I didn't have much to start with.

I haven't even got a good reason to be crying I'm just so shattered & tired of feeling ill. It's impossible to get excited or bond with something that's done nothing but make me feel shit and that makes me sad. I've barely spoken 2 words to DH all week and I miss him. In the evening he presents me with food & then I crash out. When I wake up he's already gone & I'm late for work again. Ugh, I'm such a twat. My boss has just giving me my payslip & I'm embarrassed to take it.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 11:43:51

Hi MTB! I'm well impressed you'v decorated you new house! We've been in ours 2 years and still haven't done that! Doubt we ever will, to be honest.

I'm sticking up for your DP here. If you agreed no presents you're not allowed to be grumpy! Me and DH don't do presents and by that I mean we don't do presents smile

Well done on the interview Jolls I hate interviews. I would do anything to avoid one.

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 11:55:14

Happy Birthday MTB! thanks

Can we all share your cake?
cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake cake

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 12:09:54

Happy birthday MTB! cake

Fox you sound so stressed! Try not to beat yourself up for how you're feeling physically and what you can and can't do. Focus on what's going to make you feel better emotionally and try and take some of the pressure off x

Blockette Thu 03-Oct-13 12:10:21

Hi Everyone,

I've been missing since about thread 3 but I've decided to come back now that I can't pretend it's not real any more.

Jolls well done with the interview, I hope it's good news in 2 weeks
Edam congrats on your blue news, I can't wait to find out ours, but have to wait till the end of the month!
Fox that's how I feel, I've not really gotten into the pregnancy thing which is why I feel a bit odd coming here - Just feel like I've had the flu for about 3 months. - If it makes you feel any better I've been falling asleep at my desk for the past few weeks! Luckily I've woken up before anyone has noticed ;)

- update as I've been in denial for so long - 17 weeks today, due date 13/03/14, no movements yet but this is my first so hopefully it's just too early. The headaches are killing me, I suffered with them before and had max strength tablets form the GP which I can't take any more sad
So tired!!!!!! and cried like crazy at and advert yesterday - DH laughed ...

Blockette Thu 03-Oct-13 12:11:44

(and happy birthday MTB)

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:17:05

fox, I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish. You do have a good reason to cry; pregnancy hormones, sickness and tiredness are damn good reasons, IMO. In the last few weeks I've taken to taking my eye make up and concealer into work with me, because I keep crying it off for no particular reason and having to re-apply! I'm not feeling as excitedly about this baby as I thought I would, as I have so much to sort out in my head before I feel like I'm ready for it, and I'm currently in counselling for long-term issues around depression and anxiety. Subsequently I don't feel like I've really bonded with him/her yet, and it all just feels a bit strange and like its happening to someone else.

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:18:04

*excited, not excitedly. pedantic

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:20:07

Also, Happy Birthday MTB!! Sorry, missed your post blush

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 12:22:29

Welcome back Blockette brew

Happy birthday MTB! cake

Well done Jolls. You can also have cake

Fox you're allowed to cry! I cry at the drop of a hat at the moment!! And at least you've made it into work unlike this pathetic excuse

Welcome back Block!

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 12:30:22

Welcome back block
Things that helped my chronic pregnancy migraines were:
- having a shower because the feeling of the water and the temperature on my head were sensations that were not pain
- ditto brushing my hair, especially by someone else
- not getting stressed - of course that is very easy to say...
- osteopathy and massage which I only did because I was desperate to be able to work and needed to try everything, even though expensive
- lying on the floor in a dark room and clutching my head, wailing 'please make it go away'

So fuck all really.

I'd definitely drink more water if you possibly can, it's the most common cause of headaches. I think my intake was reduced because it tasted weird, I always felt full and was constantly in the loo anyway.

Hope you feel better soon

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 12:38:42

Oh, my colleague has given me a really healthy lunch (cucumber, carrots, tomatoes, grapes and cottage cheese) to make me feel better. It's making me cry a little bit. I've clearly not been eating properly. I feel bad for not looking after the baby. Oh dear, I think hormones have hit me & I've turned into a massive poofter.

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 12:48:03

fox bless you, I know exactly how that feels and it's awful. Try and nurture yourself and let others do so too. Don't be hard on yourself. This is what omg trying to do.

I just spoke to my boss and she was so lovely . I blubbed down the phone to her re how bad things have got and she agreed time off , anti d s and more support at work will help. Just to update everyone. Fox, if u can confide in.a trusted colleague and even your boss it might help

Working is not all its cracked up to be..

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 12:48:34

don't know why that bit was in bold like a bloody health warning!

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 12:50:06

god I wish bloody ds would stop tantrumming and let us both sleep. Grrrrr.

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 12:50:43

foxif it makes you feel any better, I've just been sat eating Nutella out of the jar, and am seriously contemplating making a large hot chocolate. It's not even because I'm feeling ill (I'm not at the moment), or in need of comfort food. I'm just being greedy and lazy.

Speaking of lazy, can someone please give me a virtual kick up the arse to make me do stuff? I've got four days off work, a mahoosive to do list, mostly of stuff I genuinely want to do but haven't been able to get round to, and what have I achieved this morning? Sodding nothing. I'm an idle wench...

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 13:01:42

Ha! (about the health warning) Thanks apprentice. I've been talking to my colleague (the one who has brought me lunch) and she is being great. She's even typed up a little sheet of ideas for healthy lunches for me. I was useless with food before all of this, and since getting so sick/knackered I've been even worse. Without meaning to sound like a dick, I guess it's because I've always been skinny so I've just eaten whatever I want. Which is probably doing me no favours.

Glad your boss is being good. It makes all the difference. Mine is great too, he's being very understanding and he's a really nice guy generally but it's probably making him a bit uncomfortable all this women's stuff I've got going on smile. He's given me his banana. (No, that is not a euphemism.) I think it is his way of trying to help without having to talk to me lest I burst into tears.

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 13:03:02

SuperMuddle <kick>

Choose one thing. Do it. Then have hot chocolate brew

<kick again> you can do it.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 13:03:33

Just get on and do it Muddle! You'll feel better once you've got some things done. (how's that for motivation?)

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 13:05:13

Fox "He has given me his banana". Love it! Did he sort of casually put it on your desk, mutter something and wander off?

DS just gave me his shoe.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 13:07:10

He left it on my desk while I was in the toilet. But he came back later to check how much I had eaten.

This is sounding ruder by the minute.

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 13:10:01

Ah, Fox grin

Where is prambo when you need her?

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 13:10:39

grin fox

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 13:11:16

Sniggering like a teenage boy at the banana non euphemism!

Ouch!! Thanks ice... <wanders off, rubbing backside and grumbling>

apprenticemamma Thu 03-Oct-13 13:12:50

ds is finally sleeping. I'm gonna have a power nap for an hour, housework for an hour then maybe I player for an hour recommendation anyone?

(I'm banking on this being a three hour nap anyway..)

NetworkGuy Thu 03-Oct-13 13:17:26

Ooops - stumbled across this after searching for GBBO (Get British Business Online, a 'free web site for businesses' programme).

Anyway, now I'm here, and have seen a few comments about texts etc, it makes me wonder why a simple "change your number" plan hasn't been adopted. If someone has no need to be in contact, several years on, then changing mobile number seems an idea. OK, maybe too simple - guess it depends on how much contact there might still need to be because of DC.

Blockette Thu 03-Oct-13 14:02:33

Thanks for the tips edam I will try them!!

but the big question no one has asked Fox is did you enjoy eating his banana?

NetworkGuy, what the absolute fuck are you talking about?

I got kicked off. Again. hmm

Fox, it's not a banana from your boss you need it's a week off. I think improving your diet will make heaps of difference to your energy levels and mood. Thank you for sharing about your degree and whatnot, I appreciate it.

Welcome back, Blockette

Happy birthday, MTB, I'm happy you're back.

liberuna Thu 03-Oct-13 14:08:13

who they hell are you * Network*

pram from where? MN?

Yes, Liberuna. Some lurky fucker is stalking me and they think I don't know who they are. I wish they would simply Buzz off.

MTBMummy Thu 03-Oct-13 14:39:21

Thanks all for the birthday wishes - shares round virtual slices of cake.

While I'd normally agree no presents mean no presents we've done this on previous birthdays and he's had a right strip about not getting anything. Sighs I'm just tired have taken to waking at 1am and not beig able to fall asleep again.

FoxMulder Thu 03-Oct-13 14:41:28

The boss just came back to check if I have eaten his banana yet. I have not, but I will do it immediately! And it's very nice thanks grin

Yeah, a week off would be fecking awesome Pram but sadly I was off for the entire month of August with morning sickness and now I feel I owe work big time. I'm planning on a long weekend away with DH at the end of the month for our 10 year anniversary, but I don't dare ask for a day off when I've barely put a day in!

Oh dear on the being banned front. My bet was on it being automatic, as if it weren't you would have been banned again in your new reincarnation, but now I see you have...

BadlyWrittenPoem Thu 03-Oct-13 14:51:37

Pram, I scraped a 2(ii), had a couple of temp jobs that a monkey could've done before doing a PGCE and then couldn't get a job so just did bits of supply work before getting ill because I was pregnant. DH crashed out of the first year of what might have been a good career and spent a while afterwards not doing anything. Now he works as a gardener but because he has an BSc and an MSc, he still gets people telling him he should "use his degree" when in actual fact what he does suits him as a person overall better than any job using his degree would. So you can hardly say that we are great financial or career successes but IMO, as long as you have enough money to live on then it is more important to have the right balance in your life and be doing something that suits you and your family rather than to be some top notch professional on a high wage and it sounds like you thought carefully and made the best choice for your family. For some people maybe having a career is the best choice for them and their family but it isn't the best choice for everyone and it isn't automatically "better" than other options.

And whilst I did have a vague career plan in mind before I had children, I know that I would never have found it as enjoyable and fulfilling as being a mum. Not that it doesn't have it's bad days etc. but overall I find it very rewarding and I feel very thankful that I get to stay at home with my children all day.

F&T I hope your tarte tatin is nice - DH made one yesterday with the children although for some reason I haven't seen it yet.

Fox, I never felt particularly attached to or excited about my two before they were born mainly due to how ill I was (and the second time also because of previous loss) but it totally changed as soon as they were born. I still can't understand how it is possible to love someone so much even when they are too young to reciprocate but it does happen and it is totally amazing.

Well, loads and loads of yucky stuff has come out of my boil so I'm now not having to take painkillers (was on paracetamol and codeine and it still killed) and am feeling very relieved that it's not going to need any surgical intervention. Am going to see GP on Monday though as these antibiotics are making me so ill that DH is having to stay home to look after the children and he can't be staying off work for a whole ten days!

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Oct-13 14:53:34

Fox bless you. You need a well earned break and some good food made for you to keep your energy up.

Joll I may have missed it but did the interview go well?

MTB yay on the new house. Sorry your bday wasn't as good as it should have been.

My side is still really hurting. I can hardly move and it's killing me just to breathe. I'm so tired and my nose is blocked. I've had enough of this pregnancy thing.

BWP, thank you for sharing your story. I do feel blessed to be free of the rat-race and all that nonsense, I just sometimes lose my vision for a moment or two. Thanks for reminding me that the choice not to work is a valid one and not one taken solely by the arseholes on Jeremy Kyle. I love reading your posts smile

By-the-way, I had a boil on the very edge of my arse ring in the weeks I was undergoing IVF. Extraordinarily painful fucker. I didn't want antibiotics interfering with the IVF drugs so I simply tolerated it. However, it disappeared pretty rapidly of its own volition after a couple of feisty squeezes of the little bastard in a red-hot bath. Where do these things come from??

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 15:54:29

Just to add to this, I left York where I had quite a lot above starred/double first grade because to me it was just a waste of time and I didn't feel fulfilled at all, I hate the pressure to go to uni or you're deemed useless, I have met many many graduates who I would never in a million years employ and equally the opposite way around! Swings and roundabouts just got to figure out what's best for you. I'd rather live a simple life working in a nice little cafe or something than join the rat race, some of my friends would find that thought horrifying!

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 15:55:30

Just noticed badly has put it much more eloquently than I could have!

faithfulandtruthful Thu 03-Oct-13 17:02:17

BWP Thanks for the encouragement but sadly have been unwell today so backside has barley elevated from the sofa, except for the squillions of visits to the toilet empty my bladder.

F&T

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 17:12:06

It did indeed go well Mummy, tganks for asking. grin

Though I've had horrendous back pain for most of the day after so fuck the weekly shop

CalltheMadwife Thu 03-Oct-13 17:14:06

To add to the degree/qualification malarkey, I went to Uni at 19yrs old, did an art degree, worked in call centres for 3 years afterwards, then decided to retrain and am now a midwife, if I'd not come back after first Uni to where my parents are I'd of never met my husband and if I'd not retrained as a midwife I'd still be stuck in a job I hated and not have met my best friends who I have now. Don't get me wrong I still have crap days at work but overall, it's great and I'm glad I decided to be a student again and slog hard for 3 years, being skint again, unfortunately means am still recovering from the debt of 2 degrees! Oh and paying for a wedding and now a baby on the way, I don't ever seem to plan things sensibly! But then why put off now what will still be the same in the future!

Sorry having a self pitying day regarding how skint we are at the minute, just wish there was a miracle way out of debt!

MummyPig24 Thu 03-Oct-13 17:15:37

I'm going to bed as soon as ds friend is picked up from their play date. I have no tolerance today. I'm in pain and I'm pissed off. Dh can deal with bath and bed tonight.

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 17:21:01

Are there any rubby gel type things I can get OH to rub into my back that aren't ibuprofen based? I really am in quite a bit of pain sad

I would have thought an ibuprofen gel would be ok as very little, if any, would get into your bloodstream.

BadlyWrittenPoem Thu 03-Oct-13 17:54:29

Thanks for sharing about your boil Pram - I've actually been getting them for months as I just don't seem to be able to get rid of them no matter what I do. Have stopped taking the antibiotics as I started throwing up because of them and I'm not convinced they're actually doing anything and am going to try to see the Dr tomorrow morning complete with the half dozen other boils I have. I do know where mine came from though - I got them from DH who had them for a while but refused to go the the Dr until he'd given them to me. (When he got them he was on some medication which can make you more susceptible to skin infections which we presume is where his came from.)

Fasterkillpussycat Thu 03-Oct-13 18:31:41

Trying to catch up on the train on the way home - dodgy signal not helping...

Fingers crossed regarding the interview Jolleigh. I had an interview lined up early doors in the pregnancy but I wimped out on the basis that I would be about 6/7 months pregnant when I started the job. Not sure I made the right decision but a bit late now. My boss has been really supportive in my current job so that is a bonus.

Prambo - does MN not tell you why they are kicking you off? Hope it can get sorted out soon.

Pregnancy rage erupted at work today. Must learn to take a deep breath and rise above annoying twats rather than emailing and calling in a moment of rage. Turning the other cheek was never my strong point.

Fasterkillpussycat Thu 03-Oct-13 18:33:22

Sorry - happy birthday MTB!

Faster, you will have to join the facebook group if you want to know more <taps nose conspiratorially> It's safe to say I am mumsnet's Most Wanted grin

BWP, boils suck cock. Poor you having several <shudders> It sounds like you're seriously run down.

Moosey and & Madwife, I seriously envy your career choices, degree or not. Moosey, I saw the panoramic view of your apartment on facebook (the one you are leaving) and you have done seriously well for yourself. And only 23! Good for you.

Th'usband came home an hour early and I am delirious with happiness. Chucked my arms around him like he'd been gone for a month. What's all that about?

MummyPig, I am so sorry you feel wretched. Where is the pain and what can be done? thanks

Braised pork chops with shallots again tonight with goose fat roasties and champ.

Lyra, how are you today? I forgot to tell you that restaurant you want sounds proper kitsch. I love irregular-shaped rooms and rickety stairs and intimate spaces. How fab to have your own business envy

Imeg and Saggy, how are you both?

IceNoSlice Thu 03-Oct-13 19:41:19

Ok so I am 4 weeks out of date but... Catching up on Midwives. It's the one about natural birth, birth centres v delivery suites etc. It's filmed in the hospital where I had DS, the pool I was in (there is only one!), waiting room, delivery suite etc. Very weird.

RaspberrysAndIcecream Thu 03-Oct-13 19:51:32

Ok - how do I join the Facebook group? I'm caving!!! grin

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:34:27

Right , so work is so crazy haven't made it on thread since Monday but been trying to keep on Facebook. Tonight made conscious decision to do thread, not f/b but now I'm going to have to do both with Pram's mystery comments.

Nearly fell off settee laughing at random network guy's intrusion and Pram's response. Who the hell would stumble on our thread accidentally, read all of our random chat, then comment on a conversation about Joll's ex from pages ago.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 20:37:09

Rasp send a message to greymoose, she'll sort you out!

greymoose Thu 03-Oct-13 20:39:31

raspberrys send me a message with your fb link and ill add you!

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:41:42

Btw loving the new thread title Lyra - every time I moved on a page I automatically squeezed.

Apologies if I am commenting on conversations from pages ago. Pram you sound in a better place now with it all. I did the whole education/career thing and have honestly been planning how to backtrack from current position since DS was born (and this was someone who did 3 interviews for a top job at 37/38 weeks pregnant and never would have believed I would have felt this way). I read your posts about side-stepping the rat race with envy at times as well and think you have your head screwed on. I'm taking a year's mat leave and will probs not return to the same post after that but take a demotion - I really want to rebalance things towards what matters and that is my family.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 20:45:06

Ice I bet that's weird to see it all again! Will you be giving birth there again?

Mummy good on you! Hope you feel better tomorrow x

Madwife I think your job is amazing. Most of the midwives I work with retrained from previous careers. Just focus on all the good you get out of it smile

Fox loved the banana commentary. You sound much brighter than you did earlier.

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:47:41

Welcome back Block.

On healthy eating front I am not doing well. Far too many refined sugars but the exercise bike is def boosting my energy levels.

Feeling baby every day now and occasionally I get a really big kick that makes me gasp - I seem to be well past butterflies. The good thing about being so busy is that the time is flying by to my 20 week scan, so not long until we find out.

Gawjus are you ok? Think you felt very I'll before and haven't been on in a while. Or was it Kara? Have been catching up on too many pages at once.

Right heading over to f/b to find out what's really going on.

commsgirl Thu 03-Oct-13 20:47:44

Cool it's really interesting to hear about your career choices after you've had kids as I worry that I won't get the balance right and be able to stop being such a workaholic! Did your feelings change as soon as you'd had ds or was it when you went back after mat leave?

Coolhand Thu 03-Oct-13 20:48:28

Oh and congrats Edam on team blue!

Ah, Coolhand, the irony. I learned early on (by being a nosy bitch) that you are head of sixth form at your school and I marvelled at how wonderful that must feel in terms of status and personal achievement. I hope you feel massively fulfilled and content when you make changes to your career with this baby. Thanks for sharing.

Imeg Thu 03-Oct-13 21:03:59

On the no presents front, we both think Valentine's day is a bit silly and annoying pressure to be romantic, so we have a £5 limit for presents. (Not that we're normally extravagant). It means we get things we might not normally get each other and have to be a bit creative.

In terms of things to remind of/connect to the UK, how about children's books? The original Railway Collection books (origin of Thomas the Tank) are definitely very British but not really politically incorrect like some older books. Or Beatrix Potter?

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 21:08:04

Oh bollock fuck.

OH is away this weekend. From right after work tomorrow. He has the car. I didn't do the food shop today because my back is fucking murdering me. The dog is almost out of dry food...we have wet food but he gets too hungry if we only feed him that.

No family within 30miles. No friends within 10, and they don't have a car.

I'm going to have to walk a mile to Tesco on Saturday, then back again with arms of shopping, despite my back feeling as though a baseball bat has been taken to it, aren't I??

Fuck nuts.

SuperMuddle Thu 03-Oct-13 21:12:14

jolleigh, do an online shop. You should be able to get it delivered tomorrow.

Edamame Thu 03-Oct-13 21:13:16

Do Tesco deliver in your area Jolls? I have not been to the supermarket in months, I cannot be arsed to carry shopping up four flights of stairs.

BadlyWrittenPoem Thu 03-Oct-13 21:13:18

Jolls, I think it would be acceptable to take a taxi.

Jolleigh Thu 03-Oct-13 21:15:40

You know what, I didn't even think about online. OH hates online (he thinks people are given the shit stuff) so I stopped when he moved in.

But it genuinly makes sense this time grin

Thank you ladies for pointing this out!

I swallow on Valentine's Day <largesse>

Imeg, when I want th'usband to get creative I point out the spunk stains on my plastered walls and say, 'Get that off, you moron, and don't bring the paint with it'.

lumpylumps Thu 03-Oct-13 22:02:28

pram it's clearly animal cruelty that got you kicked of!!! You can't flick bogies at the cat!!! It's mean!!

OwlinaTree Thu 03-Oct-13 22:02:35

Congrats on a boy Edamame

OwlinaTree Thu 03-Oct-13 22:08:21

Congrats Joll! Fx for you.

fox it will be OK. You will bond soon, much nicer when you can feel it move all the time.

OwlinaTree Thu 03-Oct-13 22:27:37

Feeling pretty grotty today, think I'm coming down with a cold, keep coughing and throat hurts a bit. I'm worrying about the baby, don't feel like anything's happening, haven't really felt anything like movement. Nips are still really painful tho! I know is normal not to feel much yet (17+4) but wish I could to have that reassurance.

Won't be long I suppose, only a couple more weeks till the scan.

liberuna Thu 03-Oct-13 22:53:33

Hi can I ask the ladies who are feeling movements or kicks, where are you feeling it?

Im guessing it's different fir everyone but curious to know where its located.

I know, Pram, I can hardly believe it's a possibility. It's a bit scary but exciting too. The place really is tiny though. Seats 40 max over two floors.

On the careers discussion, I've been a journalist for most of my working life but I kind of lost interest once DS1 came along. I was lucky enough to cut down to two days a week and then to stop altogether for a few years. I've very much valued the time I've been able to spend with my gorgeous boys while they're so young. I'm hoping going self employed will mean I'll be able to be flexible with when and how much I work.

Lib, the kicks are in a different place every time. Babies don't stay in one position for long at this stage. Once they get close to birth there's less moving around so you may feel kicks in the same few places.

I've just felt my first kicks from the outside grin DP will be able to have a feel soon (he's current asleep, naked, on the sofa next to me hmm)

MacD75 Fri 04-Oct-13 00:32:33

Hi ladies, my goodness can you lot chat wink Haven't posted cos I've been busy, nothing exciting going to work then passing out and occasionally trying pathetically to run.

Think I've missed 2 whole threads now! So exciting that some of you have had gender scans, does it make it all seem more real?? Tho since I spent yesterday sitting at my desk with the button of my jeans open you'd think that'd be real enough...maternity jeans from now on I think.

10 more pages by tomorrow wink

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 06:04:08

Re careers, I never wanted one. I wanted to get married and have babies. Unfortunately my master plan was thwarted by my ability to only meet absolute twats who didn't have 2 brain cells to rub together!

I left college with 2 E's at A-level, mainly cos I couldn't be arsed to study once I decided I wasn't going to uni. Then I went into insurance (corporate - so for companies rather than individuals), discovered (a) that insurance is full of very mediocre people so if you have half a brain and a personality you are already in the high talent pool grin and. (b) that I am really competitive. Cutting a 20 yr career short (god that makes me feel old) I now work for a very large company running the insurance dept and earning more money than I ever thought possible. BUT, whilst I love all the things the money buys, I would have traded it all in to have got pregnant 2 yrs ago and not to have developed diabetes. Plus now that I am married to a man with an ex-wife and 3 children who he pays a generous amount of maintenance to (which I don't begrudge but just wish his troll of an ex would at least acknowledge that he has more than done the right thing by her) I have bollocks all spare cash! Pesky kidsgrin

Hmm. That turned into a mini rant. Soz!

On a more current note I am just desperate for a good nights sleep. I am still waking up 4 times a night to go to the loo and have got suitcases under my eyes instead of the normal bags. Please will someone tells me this gets better? Am 14 +3. It must must must get better... confused

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 06:47:07

Woke up at half 5.

In work by half 6.

This is a hell reserved only for people who've done very very naughty things.

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 07:46:37

Did you wet the bed Joll? wink

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 07:48:00

I wish...at least then I'd have woken up warm!

Rockchick1984 Fri 04-Oct-13 08:04:56

I was getting a good kicking in my very full bladder this morning, probably a good thing that DS woke me up hmm

Got a mad busy day today but just really can't motivate myself to get out of bed yet, have to get a train at 9.30 so really need to move at some point!

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 08:07:58

Joll why the heck do you have to be in work so early?

I'm still in a lot of pain. Taking paracetamol but it's not helping really. I think it's a pulled muscle from stupidly moving our heavy dining table to rearrange that end of the living room the other day. I'm not sure what I was thinkin but it needed to be moved immediately! I've also got horrendous trapped wind. I might as well just give up, I'm falling apart!

Blockette Fri 04-Oct-13 09:12:34

ahh MummyPig hope you feel better soon!

I'm convinced my bump is getting smaller, not bigger - DH says it's in my head but I cant stop being worried. I've not had any pain or anything, I'm just getting smaller. And I can't feel anything moving yet, so am convinced something is wrong.

Will I hear a heartbeat if I bring home a stethoscope and listen to my bump? or will that not work? I feel like I have to do something but going to the GP because my bump feels smaller sounds a bit crazy.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 09:23:08

Have a most-if-the-day meeting unfortunately mummy and need to leave before 3 so had to get here early.

Beccadugs Fri 04-Oct-13 09:44:35

Blockette, could it have been bloating/water retention that has now gone down?

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:09:46

Morning all you lovely Martians.

Haven't posted in ages. The threads move so quickly.

Sorry I haven't read back but wanted your advice real quick. Started to feel bump moving a couple of weeks ago. For a week id feel him/her move at least once a day, mainly when I went to bed or early un the morning before I got up. But for three days I've not felt bump move at all. Should I be concerned? Have had period like pains since yesterday, but nothing severe. Don't know if I'm worrying over nothing. Do i leave a message with midwife or ring hosp?? Help.

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 10:12:31

floaty I'm sure baby is absolutely fine, just changed position maybe, but there is never anything wrong with phoning the midwife and asking for advice if you are worried about anything.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 10:15:12

Flo how far along are you now? I'm not an expert, but I think movements aren't something to be worried about until later because baby's so small so you won't feel the majority. Baby might have just changed position. Try not to worry but if it'll make you feel better to speak to your midwife then do!

Block I second Becca's suggestion of bloating/water retention going down.

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:15:13

Thank you Mummypig. Il give them a quick call now xx

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:16:09

I'm 18 weeks commsgirl smile

Blockette Fri 04-Oct-13 10:27:43

Thanks guys I have been a bit blushwindyblush recently so maybe it was trapped air? Feel better now!

Flo I don't have a clue, so would ask the midwife too!

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 10:31:16

Midwife wasn't concerned. She said when I strained my stomach picking ds up the other day, baby just moved position so can't feel kicks at the mo.

She most prob right. You still just worry though don't you!

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 10:50:59

Block I know what you mean there, I just need to fart!!

flo I'm glad the mw put your mind at rest.

I've achieved stuff! Cleaned out the guinea pigs hutches and prepared a casserole and accompaniments. Still in pain. Definitely ordering a duvet afternoon with the kiddies later on.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 11:18:56

I feel really...spaced today. It's like someone has slipped weed into my food. If I start telling you my gerbils are aliens, there's someone lurking in the shadows or that my husband is only pretending to be with me to take the piss out of me then you'll know for sure!

16 weeks today, and have possibly cracked from exhaustion.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:20:17

Block I think so. Mine changes quite a lot depending on what I've eaten etc.

Flo glad you've been reassured smile.

Mummy sorry you're still feeling rubbish x

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 11:30:02

Oh my god, everyone kick your partners out of bed and get a 12 foot u shaped pillow. Used it for the first time last night it is amazing!!!

Also, good morning!

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 11:36:07

grey that sounds amazing. I can't believe that we are all going to have huge bumps in a few months. It seems unreal but the memories are slowly coming back, like turning over in bed and getting up off the floor will be a struggle.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:40:03

Morning Grey. Sounds amazing.

There is a man who has decided that my desk is the ideal place to pace backwards and forwards behind while he has his very loud phone calls. I don't even know who he is, but today I can tell you exactly what's wrong with his BMW and his entire work plan for 13/14. Feeling the rage!!! angry

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:41:29

If he says 'wherebyyyyy' one more time I'm going to throw my stapler at him.

Ooh, Lyra, a journo! I did wonder 'coz you iz ace at writin', innit. I do wonder if you'll have a little girl this time....would you like one?

Cassie, thank you for sharing, too. So you're a squillionaire, too. But your husband gives loads of cash to his ex. Nightmare. I'm a monster though, and clearly resent husbands doing the right thing by their other children grin

So, seeing as we're all gaining between 1 and 1.5kg per week this trimester I don't hear any of you weeping.....

Comms, have you considered asking him to fuck off?

I'm skiving the charity shop. Again. My tender and throbbing arches can't hack it.

Prambo I'd love to be gaining weight. Not happening yet.

Pillow sounds amazing Grey. I love mine. I find it hard to imagine myself with a big bump!

Comms trip him up.

You sure no one has slipped you something Fox?!

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 11:56:23

He's gone but I am now absolutely seething. Might have to go get a Greggs.

Pram I told my midwife I hadn't gained anything yet and she said 'I suspect you'll be one of those ladies who puts it all on at the end.' I'll weep then!

I knew you and Marbie wouldn't have gained, Comms, but for the rest of us...it's alarming how this stuff piles on even when you're monitoring calorie intake. My midwife told me the weight gain is often nowt to do with food consumed: it's breast increase, blood volume increase, fat being laid down on hips and back to protect bump etc. My body has not changed other than massive knockers and a big bump but I am a stone heavier than pre-pregnancy.

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 12:05:31

I met up with my little sister for lunch yesterday and she said ''Oh my god, you look pregnant!'' It's the first time anybody has said that so I was very chuffed. Although I did have on a very tight top to try and show off my poor excuse for a bump grin

Yesterday I got an email from a store in London asking me to send them over a quote for supplying them with some of my products. I'm shitting myself. I didn't want to put the wholesale price too high and risk scaring them off, and I didn't want to show my business naivety by pricing it too low. They also asked about my minimum order quantity and I'm nervous about the figure I gave for the same reason.

Tis going to be a tense day of refreshing my emails until I get their response. confused

..that was mainly gained during first trimester. I'm dreading to see how this one pans out..

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 12:07:43

Pram - lbs not kg surely?! Apparently I'm meant to put on 40lbs -

The 1-1.5lbs is only for pre pregnancy underweight I thought, meant to be max 1lb a week if you're normal weight and less if overweight?

Could be wrong though!

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 12:10:44

Oops didn't finish that bit - if I put on 40 lbs I will be less than but not far off 150% of my normal weight... Not happening!

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 12:11:06

Yeah that's right goosey depending on your bmi to start with they recommend you gain a different amount of weight.

I started off overweight so I've to gain between 15-25lbs. I'm still a wee bit lighter than I was at my booking in appointment so I hope I'm going to manage to stay on track.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 12:28:07

I'm trying really hard to eat properly/enough after losing so much in the first trimester so I'd like to see some weight going on really!

Pram I can imagine it's disconcerting! If you're keeping your calories in check and your weight is all going on bump/boobs then try and take comfort in the fact that it's all necessary weight you're gaining.

Goose I think it's around 25lbs if you're 'normal' BMI.

Hot scary but exciting that your business is starting to move. I'm sure you did the right thing. Is your website up and running now?

I was told 1-1.5lbs in the second trimester and I'm a normal weight. But pram you are all boobs and bumps, nothing can be done about that!! It's 'good weight' if you like.

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 12:33:13

Twice yesterday I was mistaken for being "at least 20 weeks". I could have wept.

Weight gain in pregnancy I stand corrected, Moosey, it is 0.8-1lb per week for 'normal-sized' women, less for overweight ladies. The normal-weight people should gain between 25-35lbs during the whole pregnancy. I've already gained 12! sad

I know, Marbie, I know...still awful though seeing the scales go up every single week when I'm eating really healthily.

That link I posted is a load of shit. I'm sure it's 1-1.5lbs we should be gaining in the second trimester, like you say, Marbs.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 12:41:52

I don't think I've ever gained the "right" amount. First time I lost a stone early on and took until 26 weeks to get back up to prepregnancy weight - I think I gained about a stone in the end though not sure as the battery went in the scales a couple of weeks before I gave birth and then about a week after giving birth when DH bought a battery I was back to my prepregnancy weight. Last time I didn't remember to weigh myself close to the end but I was 2 1/2 stones over prepregnancy weight a couple of weeks after giving birth so I'm guessing I must've gained almost 4 which is pretty amazing given my calorie intake was lower during pregnancy than before but I guess lying in bed doing nothing helped. This time I haven't lost any weight and based on current gain I should end up gaining around 2 1/2 stone which I think is about the amount I'm supposed to gain.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 12:46:17

The first few weeks after giving birth you naturally lose quite a bit of your gain anyway as your uterus shrinks down and your blood volume decreases etc. (This is why I waited two weeks after giving birth last time to weigh myself as I'd been losing weight before the pregnancy and didn't want to be discouraged by the larger intial weightloss.)

Your Pregnancy Week By Week says 1.5-2lbs should be gained per week during the second trimester for 'normal-weight' women. I wish they'd make their minds up.

I am reading another thread where one woman is having crying fits because, at six months, her baby "will not sleep in a cot, gain weight or take a bottle". She breastfeeds non-stop and is exhausted. This sort of shit terrifies me and is why I am determined to give Gina Ford a shot. Any opinions on why this woman should have a baby like this?

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:22:08

Some babies are just extra hard. I was an awful baby. I'm the 3rd child, and my folks thought they knew it all but I had other ideas grin

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:24:48

Or maybe there's something wrong with her baby. What the fuck do I know.

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 13:29:21

Morning ladies!

On the weight thing I have been told to aim for not putting on anything, cos I is a chunker. Well. A size 16 but I have got about 3 stone to lose... Given how much I want to eat cake at the moment that will be a struggle.

On a plus point, I was at the pregnancy clinic in the diabetes unit and midwife tried to find the heartbeat and found it. Yey! She was a bit surprised cos am only 14 weeks and as mentioned above, a tad on the rotund side! Was very reassuring but I suspect we got lucky with this one.

Can not remember who said that someone told them they look like they are 20 weeks but I feel your pain. I look about 6 months but am taking solace from the fact that at least I look pregnant and not just fat nowadays so I have decided to embrace it. Fuck'em all is what I say!

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 13:29:41

And I have just realised its the afternoon. I really need to get some sleep...

Pram lovely, the scales should be going up!! I demand you throw them away. Or use them for a more uplifting purpose.

I agree with Fox some babies are just hard. My mum struggled massively to breast feed me. We both lost too much weight. Switched to bottle, hey presto. Also wouldn't sleep in my cot. Put me in a cot bed=angel. My brother on the other hand was an angel from day dot. I don't think you can predict or change it. That's why I am so determined to go with the flow. I'm not going to look at routines or 'how to' books until I've gotten to know my baby. There's no point in developing a complex on how bad a parent I am, when at the end of the day, we are going from a family of two to one of three. One day you just have a whole new person who you have never met before to look after. I think worrying about a routine will be the least of my worries smile

Maybe she's not producing enough milk if she's having to bf all day and the baby won't settle (hunger?). Another reason why it's important to introduce a bottle early so the baby gets used to a teat, then mixed feeding is an option.

I'm too scared to weigh myself at all. I know I've put loads on but I don't want to know how much so I shall continue to stick my head in the sand and pretend I'm still a svelte size 10.

Pram, I was a journo for 17 years. I've been a reporter, newspaper page designer (which I loved), news editor and sub editor. It's where my grammar Nazism stems from. If anyone asks what my profession is I still say journalist but I'm not feeling it anymore. My boys' father is also a journalist so my boys have a double dose of writer genes. They're actually both excellent writers so maybe there is a genetic component to it.

I'm hoping for another boy this time. DP will not be happy if it's a girl and my boys would rather a brother (the idea of anything pink in the house fills them with horror). Two of my friends have three boys each and one had four boys then a girl (their 4th boy died in a road accident aged 5sad) so I'm hoping I'll get another blue one too. We shall see on the 18th when I have my scan.

Another massive post. Sorry peeps.

Thankfully, because I am so fucking stinking rich, I will be having a maternity nurse anyway. Plus a nanny. Plus a wet nurse. And maybe an au pair.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:40:39

Do wet nurses still exist, I wonder? Do you think Kate & Wills have one?

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 13:43:46

If the woman is really BFing non stop and the baby isn't putting on weight at 6 mo I would say something sounds wrong and she should go to HV/doc. Also, without getting into the 'right age for weaning' debate, I weaning DS at around 6 mo and he was def ready for it.

Please don't read too much into threads like that. People only post when there's an issue - so so many people BF and don't have those issues but would hardly start an 'Everything is just lovely' thread, or reply to a woman having those issues with 'Well I'm fine, lalala'. Also, sleep changes throughout and I really think a lot of it is luck. Teething, tummy ache, growth spurts, trapped wind, colds, earache... All screw up sleep.

DS slept through last night for the first night in a fortnight because his new teeth (4 of them this time!) have finally calmed down. But he hasn't been like that since he was tiny and I doubt his teeth would have hurt him less if we'd taken a different parenting technique.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 13:47:47

Well said Ice

I agree, Ice. MN can give you a skewed idea of what's normal. For example, reading threads in the relationships topic, you could easily come to the conclusion that most women are abused in some way by their partners, which isn't true. Same with threads about baby problems.

So what's for dinner tonight? I'm making seafood soup for the boys, using my ruined tomato soup as a base and adding calamari, mussels and prawns, conveniently prepared and frozen by Mr Asda. Nice and easy.

The thread is one I've been following for a while as it's an 'early pregnancy after IVF' one. I have found it to be invaluable, actually, and am intrigued reading about those who have recently given birth. Several women have responded to this poor lady by saying they intend to do the exact opposite to her when they give birth. She has just responded: 'Yes, nobody take any advice from me regarding actual baby handling. I just can't leave her to cry and it is now ridiculous how much time she spends being carried around and sleeping on me. My plan is to get her weight back on track somehow and then when I know she's not hungry etc. to move her into her own room at seven months and do controlled crying then.'

No. Thank. You.

Another pregnant lady on there says: 'NCT just gave us this sheet of questions where you had to mark along the scale things like 'i will pick my baby up whenever he cries vs I will let me baby cry sometimes', and 'i will feed on demand vs i will have a set routine'.'

Clearly NCT are trying to impress upon the ladies that there are definite ways of creating problems for yourself and how best to avoid a velcro baby.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 14:25:14

I thought it would take ages to get pregnant from too much lurking on the conception boards. It took about 20 minutes in all.

Not sure what's for dinner here, DH is making it as usual!

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 14:32:24

My sister would spend hours putting her son to bed at night. She would sit on the floor of his room next to his cot rubbing his back until he was asleep. I hope I don't end up like that!

Pram I know the advice given here is to feed on demand. That's by both the midwives and the NCT. But, like everything else, that advice will vary depending on where you are and who you're talking to!

Lyra good point. It's also the same with things like MMC. I was terrified as you read so much about it, but in reality it really is very rare. Your soup sounds amazing.

What mumsnet says about movement at 19 wks pregnant:

Movement You may feel your baby moving now but don't worry if you can't - it can depend where your baby is lying. It can be strange but is usually exciting when you feel your baby's first movements. If you place your partner's or a friend's hands on your stomach to share the moment you can guarantee they won't feel it. The movements need to be stronger for those not carrying your baby to feel them.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 14:35:33

Them Indian ladies don't seem to mind having velcro babies. They just strap em on and get to work in the rice paddies! <massive stereotype>

Them Indian ladies have about four generations looking after their babies.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 15:05:25

You're right. I should insist my mother move in next door. And DH's Grandma.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 15:44:22

I have a perfectly orchestrated weekend right here...

Bug shop arrives before 6. After that I don't expect to see a real person until Sunday night.

PJs, good food and box set binging on Breaking Bad...which I only started watching last night so have the full thing start to finish to get through.

Very much looking forward to this grin

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 15:44:44

BIG shop. Stupid fat fingers.

I really need to source a Breaking Bad box set.

Foxy, why do you think I'm moving to be near my mum? smile

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 15:55:40

That sounds good Jol I plan to sleep, sleep, more sleep. When I'm not sleeping I will be lying down watching TV. I wish I had a boxset though. I've requested Homeland from the library but some other selfish bastard has got it out already. Surely I should get some kind of preferential treatment for being knocked up?! smile

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 15:56:34

Netflix people, Netflix grin

Bloody love homeland Fox. Am very excited for Sunday night.

I really need to watch breaking bad. Is it on netflix?

Sounds perfect Jol. What food you got planned?

Whilst I'm pleased my mum is 25 mins away, I'm relieved there is a bit of distance and I'm even more pleased that mil is 6 hours away

And there my dear Joll is the answer to my question wink

Yep, Netflix. Much cheaper than buying a box set.

I don't have a MIL or FIL, and no stinky useless grandparents either. What a win!

I love box sets though, same as I love books, which is why I don't do Kindle or Netflix.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:02:14

Worth checking that it's on the English site though...

We have the PS3 programmed to American and the Streamer set to tge English one because we want the choice of both. I've not tried to watch it through the Streamer yet.

Kara, are you okay?

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:03:38

100% with you for books Pram but there's no avoiding the sheer value for money that Netflix gives you...

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 16:04:02

Aah, but not as cheap as getting the boxset from the library wink

My broadband is too slow for streaming movies. Stuck out in the sticks as I am.

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 16:05:30

My parents will be round the corner. MIL is driving distance away but she doesn't drive, lovely.

Maybs so excited for Homeland!

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:07:52

Fox - you've obviously never seen the late fees I used to get from the library wink

Sucks that your broadband isn't great for streaming though.

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 16:13:25

That reminded me to check if anything was overdue, and my homeland boxset IS available. They didn't tell me! And it closes at 5 which is when I finish work!

I know Comms! I had a refresher of the last episode thanks to 4OD. Excited, much?!

I too love books Pram. But I've run out of room for them, so the kindle it is sad

Indeed PramboTheDayToYa where is Kara?

BakingEating Fri 04-Oct-13 16:16:59

Chocolate tasting at a posh chocolatiers for me this evening, then the world can fuck off for the rest if the weekend. It'll be just me, dh and the cat until Monday. Bliss.

Meanwhile, I feel l

BakingEating Fri 04-Oct-13 16:18:18

Argh!

... I feel like I did a million sit-ups in my sleep. Tummy muscles really ache. Is this normal at 16 weeks, 2 days?

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:24:00

Sorry NoMaybe I didn't mean to ignore your food question...

Tesco Finest fish pie, creamed spinach, followed by a tub of cookie dough Ben n Jerry's grin

( I have also made the executive decision not to cook wink )

FoxMulder Fri 04-Oct-13 16:24:52

How do you do creamed spinach? I have baby leaf spinach in my fridge that will inevitably go off.

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 16:33:48

Why am I always behind? Cottage pie for us tonight (if I can be arsed otherwise it's the chippy)

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:37:59

Literally just wilt it down in a tiny bit of seasoned cream Fox. Easier to eat if you chop it a bit first.

Baking, tell me, how the fuck does one get invited to a posh chocolatiers for a chocolate tasting evening? Hmmmmmm?

Fish for me tonight with brown rice and greens.

I have tried to watch Parks & Recreation on my laptop as advise by Moosey but apparently I don't have the necessary function to watch it. My laptop's only a year old!

Apparently 1 in 100 Britons is homosexual. There are a lot of craven closet-dwellers filling out these questionnaires..

Pantomime Fri 04-Oct-13 16:54:56

Finally having my 12 week scan on Monday.... at 15 weeks and 4 days.

shock

Pantomime Fri 04-Oct-13 16:57:55

I had to ring the hospital and book it myself. I am not best pleased.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 16:59:22

I'd say it's quite a conservative estimate actually Pram - I'm bi and I've never had a shortage of women to sleep with...

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:19:59

I'm the same with books and box sets pram - for those of you on netflix get spotflux then you can do what joll does!

My mum is going to be around the corner (we're staying with her ATM while house is finished though) - the in laws are 60 miles away and will be nowhere to be found anyway because I have had enough of them quite frankly!

I think what you're looking for is a kibbutz pram wink

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:22:16

Bloody hell pantomime you must be fuming!!!!!!! Did they give you any sort of apology etc?!

Sorry pram (again) missed this - what function are you missing - let me send you some links on Facebook later xxx

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:23:56

On phone hence the block posts - dinner is an Indian take away courtesy of my mama, she is obviously not sick of us just yet.

That's what my post inferred, Jolls, that there are far more gays than are reported in the survey.

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 17:39:47

I read that the other way for some reason confused

But indeed there are many more than 1%!!

Ugh. Moosey, the site you recommended for P&R made me download all kinds of shit first which is exactly what I wanted to avoid. Now my desktop's full of weird shit.

Fucking hell! After all that kerfuffle it has merely directed me to LoveFilm.com for a free trial in order to watch it. Fuck that bullshit angry

Netflix is not the same thing as a kindle at all. You can still watch on the tv as if it were a box set. If you have an hdmi port you just plug in the laptop. Simple.

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 17:45:02

We love a bit of dinner chat!

Feck knows what we are having. But my wonderful MIL has just dropped round with her sublime homemade scones & jam and I've just scoffed 3 of them in a row!

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 17:47:02

Ah pram I think you might have gone on some links to sites that make it a pain in the arse I'll link you to the episodes on good ones that work without downloading anything to your desktop!

hot now I want scones hmm

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 17:52:22

Pram assuming this has been an ongoing problem, there could be all sorts of reasons for the baby feeding all the time and not gaining weight. I would guess that the most likely would be that the baby is not latching on properly and is therefore an inefficient feeder. This can cause poor milk supply which can then create a spiral of baby not getting enough and feeding all the time. Although it didn't create any problems other than soreness if she fed more than usual and longer feeds than the typical breastfed baby, I have realised since having DD2 that DD1 most likely didn't have a proper latch although as I say it wasn't bad enough to cause any major problems. My recommendation would be to see a lactation consultant as early on as possible if you have any breastfeeding problems as they will be better able to help you than the NHS MWs who even if they have the knowledge, don't necessarily have the time to give you the right help. But also different babies have different needs so even if there aren't any problems (as there sounds like there may be in this case) some will feed longer or more frequently than others. So for example, I roughly used the GF routines (although DD2's more frequent feeding and unusually low sleep needs meant I had to modify them a lot more for her than for DD1) and DD1 was sleeping through from the 10pm feed from nine weeks whereas DD2 was typically feeding once or twice overnight and having an extra feed in the day until about eleven months at which point she suddenly changed and "caught up" with what had been DD2's feeding pattern at that age. DD2 is taller/heavier than DD1 was and she ate more solid food sooner than DD1 so I presume she just has a faster metabolism and higher energy needs. Sleep-wise, DD2 currently sleeps around 10 1/2 hours in 24 which is loads less than the average child of her age (and less than DD1 has at age six!) so we have to be very strategic about when we put her to bed and how much daytime sleep we allow if we don't want to be woken lots in the night - it took us a little while to cotton on to her unusually low sleep needs so it's also possible that some children who are waking lots in the night are doing so because they don't need so much sleep although obviously there are lots of other reasons why babies might be awake in the night.

Also, Ice is totally right that people mostly post about these things when there is a problem rather than when there isn't which can give a skewed view of the likelyhood of difficulties.

Re: routines and leaving babies to cry, I don't think it is the case that these things are mutually exclusive one or the other things. We have always had routines from fairly early on but not in the rigid "I will not feed you before x o'clock" sense - it's more like how you have meals at routine times but if you're hungry a little early you might eat early whereas if you're hungry a lot early you might have a snack and have the meal at the usual time kind of thing. So for me routine means that in the day time the baby is offered feeds at routine times rather than waiting for them to request them but then after the late evening feed, they've not been fed unless they wake wanting it apart from the early days when I would always wake them after a certain amount of time day and night to make sure they didn't go too long between feeds. And with crying, our eldest didn't like lying down (you could sometimes literally stop and start her crying like one of those toy dolls by changing her between horizontal and vertical) so would always cry when she was put for a sleep but it was more a "registering an objection" kind of cry rather than a distress or an "I need something" cry so we would leave her and probably 95% of the time she'd be asleep within five minutes and the rest of the time we would then go back and try the standard burping, nappy, feed etc to see what was wrong. Whereas DD2 has never really cried unless there is something wrong or she is genuinely distressed so we haven't really ever left her the way we did DD1. And then some babies just cry most of the time no matter what you do in which case sometimes you just have to leave them to cry at times - I am always terrified I'm going to get a baby like that but so far I haven't.

Glad to hear you've finally got your scan Panto but not great that you had to sort it out yourself!

Saw Dr about my boils and he said that the antibiotic I had is the least likely of the ones I could have to make me sick so as long as they're healing up fine without there's no need to have more. He also said that the stuff they would give a longer course of to get rid of them isn't safe for pregnancy so I can't have it at the moment. I should have asked whether it's safe for breastfeeding though as it'll likely be a long time before I can have it if it's not. He sent me for some blood tests though including ferritin which for some reason wasn't done the last time even though the sample was sent for it.

And since I'm feeling better and DH was at home, he got out the Christmas presents for his side of the family and I've wrapped them all ready to hand over when we see them at the end of the month. Except for the one we haven't got yet because obviously I can't.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 17:53:17

And if anyone gets to the end of my last post then they deserve a medal!

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 17:56:27

Not only do I have scones, but DP has *promised me that we are having a bonk-a-thon tonight.

I'm not going to get my hopes up though, he was asleep for 9pm last night!

lumpylumps Fri 04-Oct-13 17:56:52

Tired tired tired!!!

Anyone else got a really heavy pain down below??? If I stand for more than 10 minutes, it's agony. I feel like all the blood is rushing down there and its throbbing!! (No rude comments!!!!)

pram it's very easy to say you're going to do things a certain way before the baby is born but nothing in the world can prepare you for the intense overwhelming love and protection you feel when you hold your baby. My friend tried to introduce a bottle early on but her dd was having non of it. I tried to give her it and it was heartbreaking seeing her get so upset. And all she wanted was her mummy and her milk!!

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 18:04:07

HotCross - you can always use my argument on your DP...

"But honey, if it heals over, how will I get the baby out?" wink

(got my seeing to last night in anticipation of my hermit weekend)

greymoose Fri 04-Oct-13 18:08:01

Lumpy it could be spd from other posts but do you mean on your general foof or cervix? I have so much pressure in my cervix which I'm very worried about, extremely paranoid about incompetent cervix!

HotCrossPun Fri 04-Oct-13 18:12:21

jolls grin For all I know it could have healed over! I can count on one hand the amount of times we have had sex since finding out I was pregnant. No amount of delicious scones are going to make up for my disappointment if he doesn't put out tonight.

<pins medal on chest> Thanks for your input, BWP. GF swears if a child is fed enough at the correct times he will sleep through (simplified summary there), but everything I'm reading suggests it is far easier to fill a baby up with bottle milk. Often women can't tell how much milk has been imbibed from the breast, is that correct? Lumpy, you are right, of course, but I'm damned if I am going to have a velcro baby. I've seen women on their knees and relationships failing because of that shit.

I can't think of a less appealing prospect right now than a bonkathon..

Jolleigh Fri 04-Oct-13 18:21:45

I definitely agree it can be really frustrating. I have a really high libido (much higher than his at the best of times) and where I've gone into horny overdrive, he's seemingly worried about performing penile brain surgery on the baby so is much more nervous. He'll get over it though...either that or I'm going to break another rampant rabit.

MummyPig24 Fri 04-Oct-13 18:51:55

panto I hope you are kicking up a fuss about the scan!

For dinner we had chicken chasseur with mash and green beans. It was lovely, I had been smelling it cooking in the slow cooker most of the day so I was really ready to eat it!

Side still very painful and trapped wind not yet released. I'm in the bath hoping to relax my muscles.

Rockchick1984 Fri 04-Oct-13 19:15:53

Pram you have met my DS - he has never been left to cry, he spent a good proportion of his babyhood in a sling on my chest, and he is the least clingy, Velcro child that I know. I honestly don't think that any of those things can make your child clingy! Re breastfeeding and amounts consumed, I used to let him feed as much as he wanted, give him a 10 min break, then see if he would latch onto the other side to make sure he was completely full up. Switched to formula around 4 months, he still never slept through, he's just not a good sleeper apparently I didn't sleep through until I was in primary school so DH blames me entirely smile

lumpylumps Fri 04-Oct-13 19:19:14

I'm thinking spd too. But don't want to miss anything by blaming that. Yes, General foof. It feels like I've been kicked with a steel toe cap boot!!!

pram I've never had a Velcro baby. Both mine were ff and I expect this one will be too. I would have loved to have bf but it wasn't to be. I was pretty strict with routine to so they had a bedtime from day one, literally. I love being a mum and my children are my life but they don't rule my life!!!

Cassiopeia01 Fri 04-Oct-13 19:25:08

Oh my fucking god. I just sobbed at a Johnson's baby advert. I really need to get a grip...

commsgirl Fri 04-Oct-13 19:26:37

DP has only just left work over an hour away

Tea will be Nandos takeout.

Imeg Fri 04-Oct-13 19:31:20

I have also had some pains in the last few days - quite sharp and in the very lower abdomen area. Only occasional and no bleeding at all so presume is some sort of stretching/pressure/general pregnancy unpleasantness!

Those who have felt movement, is it a lot lower down than the bump? I'm wondering whether my bump is stuff that the baby has pushed out of the way rather than actual baby as I think I'm feeling twitches but not in the bump area!

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 19:32:50

I don't believe that FF babies sleep better than BF ones. I just don't. My NCT group had the whole range from FF from day one to EBF to until weaning at 6mo (me). Some babies sleep, some don't. IMO.

Ice, I think I've made myself misunderstood. What GF advocates in order to get babies to sleep through the night is one bottle of FF to be used at 10-11pm - the Dream Feed. I inferred from this that she didn't think a dream feed of breast milk would get baby through to 6am? Maybe I've misunderstood her, but she definitely recommends a bottle of FF for the 10-11pm late feed.

apprenticemamma Fri 04-Oct-13 21:02:09

pram ff is thought to keep newborns fuller slightly longer than bf, sthng to do with digestion of the two types of milk hence slightly longer gaps between feeds e.g. four hourly in ff vs three hourly in bf. This ime does have some truth in it, I have done both before with ds. Baby whisperer also recommended dream feeds with formula, worked for us smile

Coolhand Fri 04-Oct-13 21:05:33

Just deleted massive post but from my experience, doing GF doesn't necessarily give you a non-Velcro baby. Personality plays such a big role. I'm owed a non-screaming, settled one this time round!

Most movements I feel are quite low down but the strongest movements are in my side when I'm leaning forward.

Ordered a dress online for my cousin's wedding at end of month - it arrived today, tried it on and just feel my bump looks huge! Scared to think how big this bump will be at the end.

Anyway, Friday night and not doing any work this evening. Absolute bliss - going to watch Tues night's Bake Off and read.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 21:06:22

Gina recommends a bottle of either expressed or formula milk at the 10-11pm feed and seems to think that if you breastfeed at that time you definitely wouldn't have enough. We gave both girls a bottle of expressed milk at that time and there's still been a huge difference. I do think it's down to appetite too and the fact that some babies just can't fit in as much as they need without a night feed too as I would easily express more at 9.30 than DD2 took at the late feed and would express a similar amount in the morning so clearly a) I would have had as much as she would take for the late feed if I'd fed her direct and b) I had ample supply and she was getting as much as she would take. With DD1 I had only a little surplus milk versus so much that I have literally been giving it away this time but DD1 is the one who has slept through earlier. So having had the two I would absolutely say that while you can easily feed in a way that means they end up needing to feed in the night when they might not have otherwise, there isn't a feeding routine that guarantees sleeping through the night by any particular age.

I'm not convinced that FF vs BF makes a huge difference either - mine have been quite different and a friend who FF both had one feeding loads through the night for ages and one who sleeps all the time.

Coolhand, can we have an update of your bump on fb? I was intrigued by your lovely early one.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 21:09:33

In fact I even added an extra day feed into DD2's routine and she kept all those day feeds much longer but still took longer to sleep through. Based on how much I was expressing I think she was taking around 35oz/day whereas I estimate DD1 must have been taking more like 20-25.

BWP, can you elaborate on this, pliz?: I would absolutely say that while you can easily feed in a way that means they end up needing to feed in the night when they might not have otherwise..

From what I've read demand feeding during the day and letting baby nap too often during the day will result in all-night feeds. Is this what you mean?

PainAuxRaisins Fri 04-Oct-13 21:22:57

Agree with others - I reckon it's more to do with baby's personality than what you do or don't do re feeding. Very easy to tie yourself up in knots following one 'method' or another. I never did ff with my two (although tried VERY hard to introduce a bottle so my DH could take over some of the night feeds). Unfortunately the little buggers would only take the boob but in the end that was a good thing - BF is sooooo convenient (no warming up bottles in middle of night with screaming hungry baby). Also with DD2 I did the co-sleeping (with cot attached to side of bed) so for the 3am feed I would just roll onto my side and she would latch on so I could pretty much do it in my sleep. Took a while to master that technique but it was well worth it in the end! Wish I'd done that with DD1 instead of having sleepless nights for 9 months. Oh well you live and learn!

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 21:24:47

Yes, that's exactly what I mean. I have a friend who demand fed and had a policy of "never wake a sleeping baby" and was very busy with her other children and would for example end up doing the school run when the baby was ready for a feed with the result that he went for large spells in the day between feeds and then fed lots in the night to try to make up for it.

BadlyWrittenPoem Fri 04-Oct-13 21:29:41

And I agree with Pain about co-sleeping. We put DD1 in another room early on and I used to go through and sit in a chair to feed her which wasn't too arduous as she slept through so early but it would have been a complete nightmare doing that with DD2! Was so much easier being able to just feed her in bed and it meant much less sleep disturbance.

lumpylumps Fri 04-Oct-13 21:32:01

Both my ff boys fed 3 hourly through the day. Ds1 had a dream feed at 10ish and it was the biggest feed he'd take all day. He was an awful feeder and projectile vomitted at least once a day so I kept it going because at least I knew he was getting one good feed. Ds2 would take it but didn't need it so we soon dropped it cos it meant one of us had to stay up to give it. he would wake around 5 for milk right until he was almost 2!!!

Pain, with DD2 at what age did you stop co-sleeping and move her to her own room?

PainAuxRaisins Fri 04-Oct-13 21:40:45

With DD1 she was in her own room by 4 months - courtesy of the bloody 'manuals' (and other mums I was hanging out with at the time) who all made me feel that if my child wasn't sleeping through the night in her own room by that age I was doing something wrong. Chucked all such manuals in the bin 2nd time around and trusted my instincts. Co-slept and BF on demand and a had a lovely time! Would that approach have worked equally well with DD1?? I guess I'll never know. Maybe DD2 was just a chilled baby and I got lucky. (Oh no - does that mean this time it's my turn to have a colicky baby that won't sleep???)

BWP, that sounds awful, being too busy with other kids to feed the baby! No wonder it ate right through the night hmm

PainAuxRaisins Fri 04-Oct-13 21:48:45

I stopped BF when she was around 12/13 months as she went onto normal milk from a beaker (never bothered with expensive formula) so it must have been around that time. Actually we didn't move her to her own room at that point as we didn't want her to wake DD1 so we left her in our room and me and DH slept on the sofa bed for a few weeks til she got used to the idea of being in a room on her own. Then we put her in with her big sis and they shared a king-size bed for ages before we finally got them into bunk beds this year. Having kids share a bed is very sweet - we'd often see them sleeping whilst holding hands smile. Sometimes I wish we'd kept the big bed and just shoved baby 3 in there with them next year!

IceNoSlice Fri 04-Oct-13 21:52:49

CoolHand, linky to your pretty dress for the wedding?

Had cereal for tea in the end. Too many biscuits this afternoon blush

floatyflo Fri 04-Oct-13 23:01:13

Had a Eureaka (sp?) moment and worked out how to bookmark threads.

May actually keep up with the threads now grin

Although I feel throughly out of the loop.

Its been interesting reading all the posts about how you plan to parent your babies e.g GF/ff/bf/ etc.

To be honest, this time round I just plan not to be riddled with horrendous PND.

BakingEating Fri 04-Oct-13 23:08:37

Pram it's a little tiny shop that once a month does three chocolate and wine combinations for tasting. They're always amazing but this time it was just sips of the wine for me. sad The best one this time was a dark chocolate with orange combined with a red wine that had 'hints of plum and cherry'. Cue lots of silly wine tasting impressions... But it tasted like Christmas.

I'm intrigued by all the feeding routine talk. I'm normally super-factual and plan ahead, but I have this crazy idea that I can just play it by ear. Glad you ladies are here to discuss all the options.

Blockette Sat 05-Oct-13 04:02:11

That sounds amazing baking!

DH has got manflu a cold and has woken me up while faffing around and now I'm wide awake. I guess car shopping is out the window for today then!

I'm so impressed people are thinking about sleep patterns already! I have only just got used to the idea of being pregnant, I've not even thought about baby coming out yet and what to do with it afterwards! I was just going to wing it and see if DH had any ideas.

MummyPig24 Sat 05-Oct-13 08:11:35

I've always fed my babies on demand and let them sleep on me until about 6 months. Ds shared my room for a year and dd for 7 months. This baby will be in with us for about a year too. I don't have any hard and fast rules, I just try to do whatever is easiest for us all.

It's fairly easy to see a feeding and sleeping pattern emerging after the first few months and even more evident once they start weaning onto solids. This means we can work to a loose routine, I know vaguely when they will be hungry and when they will need to sleep. I had quite a strict routine with ds, as he was my first and I had no other children's needs to cater to. Dd was a bit more relaxed as I carried on taking ds out and things so dd slept where she was. I imagine it will be similar this time. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens and try not to lose my shit.

Wonder77 Sat 05-Oct-13 08:19:56

I bf my 1st 2. Didn't move them out of my room or try for any routines till 6 months. I always feel you're fighting a loosing battle if you try to impose routine too early so try to go with the flow! However I will be going back to work a bit earlier this time sad sad so may feel like getting routines set up earlier. We will see. I think just try to enjoy and not go mad ;)

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 08:23:36

Mummypig same here. The more children I have the less I've even thought about a routine etc - with school runs etc the new one will just have to fit in! DC3 will be in with us for at least 6 months, for convenience and also in line with SIDS advice.

pain they held hands when sleeping!! That's so lovely!

floaty I hope you're not struck with PND again but if you are you'll be much better equipped to recognise the early signs and deal with it. That happened to my friend with DC2 and as she could tell it was coming she was able to get some breastfeeding friendly medication and the PND did not intrude on her experience in anything like the same way it did first time x

There's no way I can keep up with this thread anymore! You're all so chatty. I will do my best though. Hope you all have good wknds smile

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 08:24:39

Wonder how much mat leave will you have this time?

JustCallMeBaldrick Sat 05-Oct-13 08:49:00

I bf all 3 of mine, the boys till 18 months, and DD till she was 3(went for the easy life!!) and none of them would dream-feed. I tried a few times, but I just ended up with a half-awake grumpy baby who was too tired to feed, but too awake to snuggle down and go back to sleep sad
I had much more of a routine with the boys - like others have said, I didn't have other DCs to fit around - whereas DD had to just go with the flow and got fed whenever she needed it.
That said, they were all up just as much at night for the first year, so the routine (or lack of it) didn't seem to make a jot of difference.

Pantomime Sat 05-Oct-13 08:51:58

In regards to the scan I will be having some very firm words with my midwife on Monday. If it is the stand in again I wont let her touch me. She mucked up taking blood (forgot to loosen the arm band for the first one so couldnt get much blood out then wiggled the needle as if to get more. Then tried on the other arm and never put much pressure on it before slapping on a plaster. Got home, blood had soaked through the plaster and gone down my arm before clotting.) I was briskly shrugged off when I explained that I have not been in contact with my mother since I was 8 so offered details from my mums sister and the OH's mum and how their pregnancy went (they don't matter at all). The emergency scan stuff I was supposed to show to her she just asked why she was supposed to see this then just stuck it in my notes. There was some other stuff but this post would then go on for ever.

The OH's mum was a nurse in the nhs for years, she was the one who told me where to call, which part of the hospital to be be put through to and what to say to get the scan. She is incredibly angry. Especially as there was a pregnancy related tragedy this year. That persons midwife and consultant asked that this be taken in to account if any of the OH's immediate family or their partners got pregnant as a precaution (this was also just waved aside by the person I saw).

I am just really scared and I just want to make sure my baby is ok, this wasn't planned but this baby is very wanted.

Wonder77 Sat 05-Oct-13 09:00:52

Pirates- if I get a big credit card I'm hoping to push it to 5 months

Wonder77 Sat 05-Oct-13 09:02:05

panto that is awful treatment. Definitely express all that on Monday . Make sure you speak to someone senior. Poor you.

IceNoSlice Sat 05-Oct-13 09:14:10

Panto I'm angry for you

Blockette Sat 05-Oct-13 09:20:25

That's horrible treatment panto sorry you had to experience that.

floatyflo Sat 05-Oct-13 09:33:12

Panto that's disgraceful! I really hope your hcps get their acts together and the rest of your antenatal care goes without a hitch.

Thanks for your kind words Piratesmam.
PND was terrible. It robbed me of so much when my ds was a baby. I am so much more aware of myself this time and am never going back there.

So have we anyone expecting twins?

Happyhoppy Sat 05-Oct-13 10:04:12

panto that's awful - so sorry you've had to go through it, and hope you can get some better care from now on. I got quite stressed yesterday when I went for a reassurance appointment with the recurrent miscarriage consultant - and got the minion. Based on my previous appointments, I'd been led to expect a quick scan to check all ok, but she didn't have the equipment. I felt I had to push to get a scan - fortunately all ok - but it's difficult when you've been led to expect something.

Pantomime Sat 05-Oct-13 10:40:03

Thanks for all your support guys.

Lets hope all our midwives/consultants are helpful and in a good mood.

Coolhand Sat 05-Oct-13 11:15:10

Dress is below.

www.tiffanyrose.com/maternity/clothing/MIKB/Miko-Maternity-Dress-(Blackberry).html

Heading out now, but will update my bump photo later. Think the dress just seemed to accentuate it!

HotCrossPun Sat 05-Oct-13 11:40:56

LOVE the dress Coolhand

I like that dress, Coolhand, especially the amount of sleeve to wipe one's nose on.

A crushingly boring day ahead for me. Th'usband is off visiting Oliver and I have No Cooking To Do. Tesco it is, then..

Pantomime, what a farcical service you received. Did you, at any point, address this dickhead with your annoyance?

Beccadugs Sat 05-Oct-13 12:13:59

Panto keep a record of everything and put in a complaint, possibly once the baby is here!! No excuse for such dreadful treatment.

After hearing about wonder's maternity leave I could do with a little advice. I work 30hrs a week in a very fulfilling but dreadfully paid job (covers mortgage, basic food and bills with £60 left over a month) I supplant this with on average 6-10 hours private tutoring which I do from home (have my own study/classroom!!) which pays v well (even after tax) and I use this for food, paying off debt, clothes etc. I will be on stat mat pay with a top up which will total about 70% of my weekly job based income. I can't tutor while on mat leave. The longer I am off the more time it will take to build up my contacts and tutoring hours again (never mind who looks after the baby when I'm tutoring!) should I go back to work after 5/6 months? In the hope that I can pick up more students?

Having typed this out I realise I need to think about it more, and there is no easy answer. Think I'm just feeling a bit stressed about it all. DH can't/won't understand that my current job + tutoring is going to be nigh in impossible with a baby!

Rockchick1984 Sat 05-Oct-13 12:20:41

Why can't you tutor? If you are set up as self employed you can continue to do this without it affecting your SMP, it's just that you can't start new work.

Yes, why can't you tutor?

BadlyWrittenPoem Sat 05-Oct-13 13:03:16

With routines I think it very much depends on your baby as well as what you want to do as some are just naturally very routine whereas others aren't. DD1 was very routine, pretty much like clockwork (seriously - my mum still talks about how you could set your watch by her) whereas DD2 has only really been in a routine because we chose to have one. Which is actually quite useful as once you have another child already you want to be able to have more flexibility and that has been really easy compared to how it would have been with DD1.

I've also found that routine-ness has been less important to me second time than first as the first time I really needed to know more accurately that there would be a nap at such and such time etc so I knew what "breaks" I would get and when I had time to do an uninterrupted task whereas by the second time I had got used to being "on call" constantly and better able to deal with doing things around interruptions so a routine is less important and much more of a fluid thing for me now.

Panto that is awful that they are being so dismissive of you and so neglectful of your care especially when a consultant has specified that extra care should be taken. I imagine your OH's mum can probably point you in the best direction to complain but I would suggest/recommend e-mailing the hospital chief executive outlining the issues and requesting the care that you are supposed to be having (and specify that it was advised by a consultant). I had issues with my community MW last year (there were various problems including the complete insensititivty wrt to my previous late loss) and ended up changing MW because of it but was told that I would have to have her at my birth if she was on the homebirth rota when I went into labour. I contacted AIMS for help and Beverly Beech sent me a really helpful reply. She wrote a suggested draft e-mail to send to the chief executive and said that I should also include all the detail about why I had wanted to change in the first place which I did and it was very effective and resulted in the Head of Midwifery creating a back up rota for me and she also said that she was going to go through the issues I had raised with the MW concerned. I would also totally recommend contacting AIMS if you need any help as the help I got was brilliant. www.aims.org.uk/

Becca, I may be wrong but as I understood it if you are employed and getting SMP from your employment you can still do self-employed work while on ML but if you are just self-employed and getting MA on the basis of your self-employment then you can't (aside from KIT days). It might be worth checking into if it would make a big difference to your finances and length of ML.

Beccadugs Sat 05-Oct-13 13:08:07

Thanks so much everyone this is fantastic news!!
Might even be able to take the full year, as it turns out DH is pretty sure he can use flexible working to be home when I tutor!!

BWP, I appreciate your views. I'm finding a lot of mums are quite defensive about routine v baby-led so I'm tempted to shut up and keep my research to myself. However (and this is for your eyes only otherwise I'll get stoned to death), GF does not believe in 'high-maintenance' or 'needy' babies. She believes we make them that way. Of course, I will only discover the truth of this when I have my own and all Gina's advice goes to shit and fails miserably and I am wandering the streets of Chorley like a bedraggled loon with a baby hanging off my tit.

...what I have picked up from reading the Martians experiences is that routine worked for their first child but not so much for successive babies. There's got to be something in that...

Haven't read today's posts yet as I'm only on a 5 min break from cleaning and washing.

I had the flu jab this morning. I got to the doc's and there was a massive queue out the door and down the road. Luckily it moved fast and I only had to wait 15 minutes.

On routines etc. We only ever had the loosest of routines, I bf on demand and let them sleep when they needed to when they were tiny. Neither was a Velcro baby and neither fed all night. They would wake up for one feed in the night and go back to sleep. I don't think they were in any way exceptional in this.
Pram, don't let other people's horror stories drive you to a fear of a Velcro baby. It's not a choice between a strict routine and a Velcro baby. There's a lot in between.

Right, back to the chores hmm

Oh btw it's mine and DP's first anniversary. A lot can happen in a year winkgrin

IceNoSlice Sat 05-Oct-13 13:30:00

Coolhand - I love that dress. V pretty.

Becca could you contact CABx or perhaps post in the legal section to confirm about you Mat pay rights regarding employment/self employment? Also consider using KIT days to keep your contacts as much as poss. Perhaps you could consider timing in terms of the education year - I don't know what age you tutor but I guess you will miss next summer's exam season but might be able to swing things to hit the ground running in Sept?

Pram keep researching and keep posting. It's all good stuff for us all to think about. I hope, as one of the second timers, that I don't come over as know-it-all or defensive. I'm just hyper aware of a couple of things from first time round -

1) the lack of support some women get for BF (and the other side of things being pressure to go one way or t'other).
2) women feeling they are doing it all wrong, be it 'failing' with a routine or 'failing' to get their baby to sleep.

Just keen to avoid that for any of you.

IceNoSlice Sat 05-Oct-13 13:30:24

Congrats Lyra flowers

Thanks, Ice. Congratulations, Lyra and Lover! thanks

Coolhand Sat 05-Oct-13 14:55:21

Congrats Lyra.

I think one of the hard things with the GF thing is that it doesn't really allow for babies who suffer from things like reflux. DS screamed the clock round for the first 12 weeks, poor soul and while we did get things that helped him slightly, it's a long road before you finally get a hospital referral.

I can see where GF is coming from when she says there is no such thing as a difficult baby (they can all ultimately be trained provided there aren't medical issues), research has shown that the babies who scream the most in the maternity ward are still the most unsettled babies at 6 months, so some are just much harder to train than others. Some will also have a more naturally clingy disposition.

My DS is quite a sensitive, clingy soul - tears going into nursery etc. I blamed this on my insistence on routines, separation and the fact that I returned to work 5 days a week, as I felt he was insecure. My best friend is a SAHM, did the opposite and produced the same result. Another friend, is a SAHM and her wee one is as independent as they come, never looks back when leaving them. Her second is Mr Clingy and has been a huge shock to system! They can probs all be trained into sleeping but it won't alter their wee personality types IMO. While I am a routine kind of person by nature, this time will be more inclined to play it by ear.

Wonder77 Sat 05-Oct-13 15:11:38

Sorry - no offense to anyone who likes her but- but GF just annoys me. Mainly because her stance puts a lot of pressure on mums. It's all well and good to say to do certain things at certain times but that doesn't take into account the biggest factor in all this- emotion!! Logic and rationality goes out the window at times when the little being you love so much is crying and giving in to that sometimes is ok and instinct.

Blockette Sat 05-Oct-13 15:42:31

Congrats Lyra!

Wonder, GF does not advocate ignoring a baby in distress.

Wonder, I am assuming you have tried Gina Ford's methods. What went wrong, exactly, for you?

HotCrossPun Sat 05-Oct-13 17:21:59

I've not read any of GF's books, but from what I've heard I don't think her methods would suit me.

Saying that, I don't think any set plan will work for us. I'm planning on going with the flow as much as poss (apart from following NHS guidelines on having baby in the room for 6 months etc)

IceNoSlice Sat 05-Oct-13 17:27:16

I have 3 of GF's books but I've only dipped in/skimmed the 'Contented baby' one. I actually think I'll read it properly, possibly also a couple of other baby books this time- before new baby arrives. I was a bit 'head in the sand' last time. I feel I can pick out useful stuff from the bits I'll ignore.

These 'gurus' do know stuff. But they also have to sell their theories and sound authoritive in order to come across as credible. Hence the caution a lot of people are advocating.

HotCrossPun Sat 05-Oct-13 17:48:30

Oh, I got a phone call from the Home Birth team today. The midwife sounded absolutely lovely. smile

BadlyWrittenPoem Sat 05-Oct-13 17:53:13

Pram I would say that unless a baby has an actual problem (e.g. reflux) then calling them "high needs" or similar is just based on individual perception and compatibility of the baby's needs with one's own needs/capacity/lifestyle. So I wouldn't consider either of mine high needs but some would view DD1's need for routine which was fairly inflexible as making her high needs and I think a lot would view having a baby who only sleeps 10 1/2 hours per day including naps as high needs whereas for me, DD1's need for rigid routine actually fitted in very well with the need I had for that at the time and whilst I wouldn't say DD2's low sleep need is a really great thing, I have just found ways of dealing with it to avoid it causing problems for us (such as a later bedtime so we don't get woken at silly o'clock the way we would with a "normal" seven o'clock bedtime) such that it is just a normal part of our everyday life just like feeding, bathing, nappies etc are. And aside from when people have such a rigid adherance to a routine that they refuse to feed a hungry baby before the designated time (which I think is actually quite rare and not what the majority of people using routines do), I personally think that as long as what you are doing is able to meet your babies needs then it is right to do whichever is best for you (which based on the anecdata on this thread seems to be biased towards routine for parents of first babies but generally less so with subsequent ones).

"I'm just hyper aware of a couple of things from first time round -

1) the lack of support some women get for BF (and the other side of things being pressure to go one way or t'other).
2) women feeling they are doing it all wrong, be it 'failing' with a routine or 'failing' to get their baby to sleep.

Just keen to avoid that for any of you." Totally agree with you ice. I strongly think that as long as the baby's needs are met and the parents are happy with how things are then it doesn't matter whether they are fitting any cultural expectations of routines or sleeping or whatever else. I also think that women should be made more aware of the BF support that is available (such as LLL, ABM, lactation consultants etc.) so that even if the NHS MWs can't provide the right support, the right support is easily accessible to them instead of just all these leaflets about "breast is best" and "it doesn't hurt if you're doing it properly" which don't actually enable or help you to be able to do it.

IIRC GF does actually state in parts of her book that if a routine isn't working for you/stresses you out/you are happy with e.g. babywearing and feeding with demand then you shouldn't try to make yourself follow her routines but should go with what you are happy with and that her routines are there to help those who feel they want/need them. But the style in which she presents them does sound a bit like "my way is the way" so I can understand how people get that impression.

"GF does not advocate ignoring a baby in distress." Correct she explicitly states this many times - I think the problem comes where people are so caught up in trying to adhere to the routines that they can end up thinking they need to do so in order to stick to them. I think her style of writing plus the fact that the troubleshooting parts are separated from the descriptions of the routines and take up a small proportion of the book probably contributes to this kind of misconception.

But having said that, she does advocate things like giving juice from eight weeks, moving your baby to formula if they are not sleeping through by something like four months and then if they still don't sleep through on formula speaking to your HV about early weaning. As a parent of a BF baby I started on solids at seven months who did not sleep through until eleven months but (as I said before) had a more than ample supply available and was growing fine on the ~91st centile, I think it is incorrect to assume that a BF baby is in need of formula if not sleeping through or to assume that any baby needs solids early just because of not sleeping through and her advice goes directly against the DOH and the WHO advice on infant feeding.

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 17:53:47

Yeah I've got the GF book and she does say if the baby is getting upset you should see to it and calm it, (it could be in pain with wind etc) but if you can to put it down awake but sleepy to see if it dozes off on its own. In the early days though it is virtually impossible to avoid feeding to sleep because they drop off all the time!

We were lucky with DS because he sucked his thumb from 6 weeks so as soon as he was tired, thumb went in, he went in cot and quickly to sleep. (Nightmare now at dentists but that's a different story!) DD didn't suck her thumb but I was on my own for bedtime for the 2 of them right from the start, so I did have to put her down whilst I settled DS. I made sure she was fed and warm and if she dropped off then great; if she cried then I read the Gruffalo at lightening pace, said goodnight to DS and went back into settle her. Because of having to do bedtime on my own, I had to nail this quite early on, but I'm sure it helped get them into a good sleeping pattern.

HOWEVER, DD was chilled from the start - DS had reflux, was sick all the time from it in first 2 months and if he hadn't have started sucking his thumb we'd have been screwed!! We also (don't tell social services) let him sleep on his tummy from 2 months as he simply could not settle on his back. When I had DD, it was a revelation to me that the child could go to sleep on her back without flailing around like an upside down tortoise!

Plenty of times, if they were over-tired, I'd sit and stroke their heads to help them drop off. It never had a knock-on effect the next day if I caught them in that "window". I loved watching them drop off, so sweet.

Couldn't get on with the feeding patterns in GF at all though. DS was big and hungry, DD diddy and not so hungry.

MummyPig24 Sat 05-Oct-13 18:06:32

I love the dress coolhand.

I don't mind feeding to sleep. Maybe I will when I have 3 children to attend to but I haven't found it a problem before and I found they stopped doing it on their own soon enough. Both my children had dummies <shoot me> and the dummy fairy came when they were 2 and swapped them.

Mine will have a dummy whether it likes it or not.

BWP & Pirates, thanks for your lengthy responses. I am learning lots here. May I ask a couple of questions which are going to sound facetious but are most certainly not?:

1) When women say 'my baby won't be put down', what do they mean exactly? What actually happens when the baby is put down? I don't understand.

2) Why do some women feel it's wrong to wake a baby for a feed? Why are some women happy to let their baby sleep vast amounts during the day, knowing this will result in a wide awake baby at night? I don't understand.

3) What is so wrong with a baby crying? Don't babies sometimes cry for nowt when they are put down?

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 18:30:44

Neither of mine would take dummies! <glares at children>

..also, how does one know how much milk has been taken in one sitting from the breast? Will I just know?

Jolleigh Sat 05-Oct-13 18:42:09

You know what's rubbish? The fact that I've been looking forward to this weekend all by myself. But now the hormones are making me horrendously paranoid that DP hasn't called yet. I've fabricated a whole affair in my head and now can't get it out sad

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 18:46:39

It is difficult to answer the "what's wrong with crying" question without sounding patronising in a "wait until you have kids" way. It's really hard to describe the actual physical ache of hearing your baby cry! And tiny babies are not clever enough to be manipulative enough to cry for no reason; even just wanting a cuddle is a good enough reason for them to cry. It is instinctively what they want and need and quite right too. But usually crying is due to:
-hunger
-wind
-tiredness
-too hot/too cold
-trying to do a poo (! Sounds silly but it is really distressing for them at first!! Sometimes just even a little tummy massage or rocking their legs back and forth can help them with the, er, process)
-teething pain
-they see a scary shadow
-they have an itch and are unable to co-ordinate arm movement to deal with it
-they sneezed and it scared them
-they hiccuped and it hurt

and so on. Honestly, it sounds ridiculous but they are absolutely hopeless when they are first born and all they know is that they need their mum to survive. So when women say they can't put the baby down, this is often what they mean - your sole purpose, especially at the beginning, is to make the baby feel secure and safe, because it can't do it for itself. I've had friends who have had to put unsettled babies down so they could go to the loo/have a shower etc and the baby cries so much - even in that short time - they make themselves sick. (the babies do that is, not the mums!) And what's so hard is there is never any guarantee the baby isn't in pain, particularly when tiny, because their gastric equipment is frankly shit until they get a little bigger.

re: waking to feed - I'd never wake to feed at night; that is insane to me! DD wouldn't take a dreamfeed so she got her nightfeed whenever she woke, usually around 2ish. She went straight back to sleep and so did I so no problem. Babies are supposed to sleep lots at the beginning (apparently... hmm ) so some women just leave theirs to it when they are kipping in the day. I let them sleep for up to 3 hours max in one nap during the day, or if my boobs were about to explode and it had been up to 4 hours since last feed.

Sorry that was MAMMOTH!!!

HotCrossPun Sat 05-Oct-13 19:17:46

PiratesMam Don't have such a break between posting next time. Your advice is splendid and I know none of this stuff!

<copies and pastes for future reference>

MummyPig24 Sat 05-Oct-13 19:18:24

If the breast feels empty (you will get to quickly know the full feeling and empty feeling) and soft and baby is satisfied you know they have had a good feed, plus plenty of wet nappies means they are feeding well.

When people say their baby won't be put down they mean baby cries and won't settle. It is really hard to hear baby crying, you just want to make them feel better!

Dd had a dummy because she so wanted to feed, but she couldn't due to her awful tongue tie, so she wasn't satisfying her sucking reflex by being fed by syringe. The dummy helped that until she could latch on. And she looooved her dummy, I thought I would never get it off her but we didn't have a single tear. Ds had one because I could not handle the crying for a moment longer, yes I'm a weak and wicked mother! I don't know if we will use one this time, it all depends. But I would rather use a dummy than baby suck its thumb. You can take a dummy away!

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 19:18:58

Oh thanks Hot - for a moment there I thought I'd killed the thread!!

MummyPig24 Sat 05-Oct-13 19:19:26

Waking to feed: ds always woke regularly to feed so I never had to wake him. Dd was such a sleepy baby I had to wake her or she never would have fed and I would have had tits like boulders.

Rockchick1984 Sat 05-Oct-13 19:38:46

My DS still has a dummy (at 2.5!!) which I hate but it's only for bed, and he doesn't have any other comforter like a Teddy or anything, so I am letting him keep it a bit longer. DH doesn't really want to let the new baby have one but I honestly think it saved my sanity so I'm happy to offer one again!

Pirates, thanks for your views. I know this is my first baby but I am determined not to be baby-led. Excessive night feeding is not something I wish to encounter if I am to retain my sanity off these antidepressants. The only reason I am leaning towards Gina Ford is that she tries to establish a good daytime feeding pattern to avoid night-time feeds at 1am, 3am, 4 and 5am. She believes that in order to establish a good milk supply the baby needs to be fed little and often after the birth. The success of the Contented Little baby routines depends on the baby being woken for feeds and not being left for long spells between feeds.

She recommends that in the very early days a three-hourly feeding routine be established (this time is calculated from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of of the next one). However, she says if a baby is demanding food before the recommended time then he should be fed. She goes on to say that if this continues long after the milk has come in then 'it is important to look for reasons why your baby is not lasting longer between feeds'.

The aim of the CLB feeding routines is to ensure that when baby is ready to increase milk feeds, you structure his daytime feeds along with his daytime sleep. This will mean that, as soon as baby is physically and mentally capable, he will sleep his longest spell in the night not during the day. This is all I am looking to achieve from GF's book smile

My babies would not be woken for feeds. I could get them to half-awake at best but they'd be too sleepy to feed. Don't count on it being possible with your baby, Pram. You won't know till he or she is born.

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 21:16:41

Yeah defo load 'em up during the day, it does work in my vast experience of two kids! You'd be pretty unlucky to get a nocturnal baby but it does happen. Also lots of people I know who really got on with the GF routine did as she was optimistic with the speed with which she stretched out the feeds, eg their 3 month old might still be on the 6-8 week routine in terms of feeds. Doesn't make any difference long term, because as you have identified the basic principle doesn't change.

BadlyWrittenPoem Sat 05-Oct-13 21:17:59

1) When women say 'my baby won't be put down', what do they mean exactly? What actually happens when the baby is put down? I don't understand.
I think they mean that whenever they put the baby down the baby screams their head off but is fine once they are picked up i.e. there is nothing "wrong" other than them wanting to be held.
2) Why do some women feel it's wrong to wake a baby for a feed? Why are some women happy to let their baby sleep vast amounts during the day, knowing this will result in a wide awake baby at night? I don't understand.
I don't understand it - at my antenatal classes they made out it was really bad to ever offer a baby a feed without them obviously requesting it and I didn't understand that either.
3) What is so wrong with a baby crying? Don't babies sometimes cry for nowt when they are put down?
I think there are differing schools of thought on the impact on a baby of being left to cry vs not being left. It also depends on the baby - as I said before DD1 would do a "registering an objection to being horizontal" cry every time she was put to bed but it was obviously not distress so I don't think there was anything wrong with leaving her. But DD2 has never cried unless there is something actually wrong (i.e. it is always genuine distress communicating a need for us to do something) so I think that it would have been wrong of us to leave her to cry.

"how does one know how much milk has been taken in one sitting from the breast? Will I just know?"
You don't know and you don't need to know exactly how much but you can tell whether they've had a good feed or not and their behaviour will show if they are full or still hungry.

"She believes that in order to establish a good milk supply the baby needs to be fed little and often after the birth. The success of the Contented Little baby routines depends on the baby being woken for feeds and not being left for long spells between feeds."
I totally believe that that is a factor in why neither of mine lost weight after birth and it is one of the best pieces of advice I got from her - I started off waking for a feed after three hours if they hadn't done so sooner then after a while went up to 3 1/2 overnight and then four overnight and then went onto her suggested daily routines. I have plenty of friends who would leave their newborns for eight hours without a feed if they didn't wake for them.

And where does feeding at 1am, 3am, 5am and 6am come from? How many babies really do that?

PiratesMam Sat 05-Oct-13 21:19:31

Lyra you just reminded me that my DS was jaundiced at the beginning, so I was supposed to wake him for feeds every 2 hours - even at night- as it helped the recovery. It was impossible! He was soooo sleepy.

I don't think my two would have woken fully if I'd dunked them in iced water grin They really loved their sleep. DS2 slept for up to 20 hours a day in the first couple of weeks. I had to keep checking that he was still alive. He was just a very sleepy newborn.

PainAuxRaisins Sat 05-Oct-13 21:26:57

Pirates that is such a helpful post for 1st time mums (and I wish I'd known half of that with my first!). DD1 used to cry a lot and it took me weeks to work out that it wasn't hunger/nappy/pain etc but tiredness due to over stimulation e.g. visitors waving toys in her face, jiggling her around on their laps, cooing in her face etc etc. With DD2 I didn't over-stimulate - just let her sleep more during the day and she responded by sleeping more at night too. I agree with the not going too long between feeds though - but with BF it's almost impossible to go longer than 4 hours otherwise your knockers will explode!

Today had been rubbish hmm Can I whinge please? Yes? Ok wink

DP and I went out for an anniversary lunch but he was quiet and withdrawn throughout, hardly saying a word. It was quite embarrassing sitting there in silence like two people who have nothing to say to each other.

The reason for his mood is XP. Yes, him again making everything shit. DP and I were out with the children yesterday evening and I arranged to meet XP at the station as the boys were going to his house for the night. DP stood back but not far enough and when XP clocked him he went ballistic, shouting and making a scene in public in front of the boys (he has form for this). He made some really nasty threats and promised to make our lives hell (like he hasn't been doing that already).

His problem is be doesn't like "another man" spending time with "his" children and has been trying to brainwash the boys into thinking DP is a "bad man". Luckily they're old enough to make their own minds up and they both like DP and are comfortable and relaxed in his company.

I'm feeling sad that our day has been ruined by XP. Also guilty that DP is having to deal with all this shit because he's chosen to be in a relationship with me. He's done nothing wrong yet has to deal with XP treating him like shit. I think he's had enough. He's got other shit to deal with and doesn't need my problems adding to them.

He didn't come home with me this evening. He's out drinking somewhere, drowning his sorrows in beer so I expect he'll be feeling even more morose when he comes home.

I just want to have some kind of happy life after all those years of misery with XP but he just won't let me. And because I have children with him, I can never be free of him. It's so utterly depressing hmm

Rant over. Sorry for moaning.

Coolhand Sat 05-Oct-13 22:20:23

I never had the DS sleeping too much problem, even at the start. He always woke well before the supposed nap time should have been over - the only feeds I had to waken him for were the dream feed when he was always completely out. It really used to worry me as sleep is essential for brain development but he just wasn't a sleepy baby.

Even now he gets by on less sleep than others his age.

So, this time round I'm getting a sleepy, non reflux, independent baby. That's what I've ordered anyway.

Coolhand Sat 05-Oct-13 22:25:48

Oh Lyra, I don't know what advice to give you for the best. That is just miserable.

Can you set conditions for him seeing the boys i.e. he can't behave like that or you will withdraw contact. I guess you want the boys to see their father. How do they react to that kind of behaviour?

I certainly think you need to try and talk it through with DP to see what his feelings are. Perhaps if he can get it off his chest he will feel better.

Thank you so much, BWP, for such a lengthy reply and thank you, too, to everyone else who is sharing and being tolerant of my questions. I promise I am also reading stuff other than GF! Can I come back to this topic tomorrow with more questions or will everyone else be getting sick of it? Do let me know.

Now then, lovely Lyra. Your ex-DP is never going to change and you can't forever feel guilty for the fact that he occasionally makes your loved ones feel awkward or inadequate. If your current partner loves you, Lyra, he will see that this is nothing personal against him and that your ex is just not right in the head. The answer is not to slope off and get pissed. You need him after an episode like this and you will only get through this monster's fits of bullshit if you face him together.

When we meet people in our forties I always think they had better have a fucking good understanding of the fact that we all carry baggage from previous relationships and past lifestyles. Your baggage is a jealous and rather unhinged ex partner. Yes, it's unpleasant and no, your current partner should not be made to feel like some leper. But between you life can go on and a better life can be built. Him getting leathered down the pub drowning his sorrows merely presents you with an extra burden, doesn't it? Tell him you need to feel he's on your side and fighting with you, not taking umbrage at every onslaught delivered by your silly bastard of an ex. Big hugs, love - get him told.

Jolls, I'm sorry I'm late asking but how are you feeling now? Have you heard from him yet? Where has he gone this weekend?

Cassiopeia01 Sat 05-Oct-13 22:38:59

Lyra, your ex sounds like a complete shit. I'm afraid I don't have any advice as I have never been in that position but what I can say is that kids get older and start to form their own opinions. My eldest DSD already knows her mum is a fruit loop and makes shit up. I really feel for you and hope things get better for you. In the meantime, have these thanks in lieu of a massive one of these wine.

On the subject of routines etc I am currently doing quite a good job of not thinking beyond pregnancy so haven't even thought about what to do when the baby gets here. I am now officially terrified!!!!

Finally managed to get back in the kitchen and cook again. Spaghetti Bolognese with a mountain of uber garlicky garlic bread. I never knowingly under-cater!!

IceNoSlice Sat 05-Oct-13 22:39:32

Me too Coolhand. I defo ordered that this time. And he/she will arrive with less fuss than last time please.

BWP and Pirates great posts - and chimes with my experience.

Lyra, that is shit, sorry. I hope you get chance to have a good chat with DP and remind him of all the good stuff. Maybe work out a way to minimise XP's ability to interfere in your relationship, so horrible for you sad

Ooooh I forgot to tell you guys about my consultant appointment yesterday. I am under consultant care due to EMCS last time - although I'm not sure I'm 'high risk' because I don't have any other risk factors. Anyway, the consultant was good. Knew her stuff, clear and confident if a little bossy. Said I could have an ELCS which would happen at 39 weeks, or VBAC. She did say that if I went overdue she would suggest an ELCS at an earlier than usual stage because induction increases risk factors for scar rupture. She was supportive of my plans for VBAC, but I said I wanted to keep options open and decide nearer the time which she was also fine with.

She listened to my points about the antenatal care I had last time - never saw the same MW twice - and how I felt this contributed in that noone picked up that DS was pretty big or back to back. She said there was little they could do about the back to back position as babies often moved during birth anyway. But she has booked me in for an extra scan at 35 weeks to check the baby's size (yay! Extra scan smile).

So all in all I'm pretty happy.

OwlinaTree Sat 05-Oct-13 23:02:47

panto what an awful experience, and even more so when you have an extra layer of worry to cope with. Hope it goes more smoothly from now on.

Jolleigh Sat 05-Oct-13 23:09:32

Pram - he's up in Hull at a chess tournament with the kids at the local chess club and a few other adults for the weekend. I am well aware of how boring he sounds right now!

In my head however he's off fucking his ex.

I've had a text but no call. So I'll be ripping his fucking head off tomorrow. Despite knowing I'm being paranoid and unreasonable, I'm still pissed he didn't take 5 minutes to call his pregnant fiancé. Not even when he went for a cigarette. angry

Rockchick1984 Sat 05-Oct-13 23:20:03

Jolls I think its just pregnancy paranoia, I get exactly the same way! My DH is out for some beers having been to watch the rugby, and I'm so stressed that the only contact he has made is to tell me he's going to get a taxi home as the last train was too early. He's out with his mate and my dad FFS, he's hardly going to be doing much except beer and dissecting the match, but doesn't make me feel any better!!

Thanks ladies. I needed to get that off my chest. I know DP isn't dealing with it particularly well but he's had his own issues to deal with this week and this is the first time he's been directly on the receiving end of one of XP's tirades. I think life is wearing him down and this was the icing on the cake.

Ice, I tried getting him to focus on all the good stuff that's ahead - our baby, the chance of our own business etc but his head was firmly locked into negative mode. The main thing I'll be doing to minimise XP's ability to control us will be getting out of joint ownership of my house. Then I can live somewhere where he has no say in what happens there. And also if the business makes decent money he can't keep blackmailing me with maintenance and threatening to withhold it whenever he feels like it because I won't need his stinking money. Financial independence will make a huge difference.

Pram, I know he should understand that I come with baggage - unhinged ex, two children that aren't his etc. he has baggage too, like the crazy bitch ex who asked him to go on holiday with her and has said very nasty things about me to him by text, and also says things to me like "you're not so special to him" "you're not his type" blah blah (that's a whole other story). He's dealing with it completely the wrong way, I agree, but what can I do? Ban him from the pub? Sigh.

Cool, we have a shared residency order from the court so I have no chance of altering his contact with the boys. Plus they love their daddy so I'd be hurting them by hurting him. Sadly they seems to be used to this sort of thing from him. They shouldn't have to get used to seeing their father turn into a raging monster. He's never like that with them though, thankfully.

DP is still not home despite texting an hour ago to say he would be home soon. I could do with a cuddle, tbh.

OwlinaTree Sat 05-Oct-13 23:31:09

Sorry you are having such a rough time lyra. Can you arrange for someone else to do the handover of children for you? Like another relative or someone similar? You are doing the right thing in tolerating this man in order for your children to have a relationship with him, as you say he is their father. Can't be easy tho, wish I could give better advice. It's hard when you try to do the right thing but the other person insists on acting like a dick. Hope you and your DP are OK.

In regards to baby books pram have you tried the secrets of the baby whisperer? I found that a bit of a middle ground between strict routine and no routine, as she advocates a routine but this is sort of established a bit by your baby. Give it a try. I've not actually done it, but I'm hoping to reread before the birth and take some advice at least.

He's home and he's not drunk but still very quiet.

Owl, it's always me thinking of the children, XP just thinks of himself. Pig.

I should go to bed. Looks like DP doesn't want to talk. I'll try tomorrow. Night y'all.

AbiBub Sun 06-Oct-13 00:26:04

Hello!

Ive finally caught up (yep from lady thread and this one)and now cant rremember the half of what I read!! Lol sorry!

Sorry to hear xp's are being a real issue for some of you. Hoping for some relief and ok-ness (yep I know thats not a word!) Soon. Big hugz and thanks to you!

With regards ttothr whole routines, feeding, napping, crying thingy. Im gonna probably get slapped at some point by ds was a demand feeder. And however much he had during the day whethet it was little and often or lots and often he still didnt sleep through, and he was a ff baby. (Thats where im expecting a slap!) Yep ff. During my pg with ds my gut instinct was not to bf but ff. My midwife was great at the time and said if thats what you want then you make sure you're not bullied into bf if you don't want to do it. So I didnt. My milk dried up about 1.5days after ds was born. Just goes yo show my instinct was right! Ff was a godsend because after such s traumatic labour and episiotomy stitches yo contend with, dp was completely on hand, as he could do a lot of the feeds. He loved it, and has an amazing bond with ds. Ds was also quite badly jaundice so they said that it was more helpful for regular feeding etc
I guess routine is fabby if it works from the beginning but if it doesn't dont worry, dont beat yourself up about it and try and go with your instinct, 9 times out of 10 it'll be right. Also I worried about how id know the crys for certain things, I didnt as a new mum I felt so under qualified, people saying this or that, I got so stressed with what everybody else telling me what yo do I got blurred, then mum said to me, take a step back, listen yo what your instinct is telling you and let ds almost guide you. It worked, i took the pressure off myself to conform and finally I started feeling more confident in myself. Ds slept through the night from 8-9 weeks. And whilst by no means is he perfect, I feel like I can honestly say that I have done my best with him. I never woke him for a feed whether it be day or night, I let him guide me, there's no way he was going to let himself starve. Plus I sometimes think that health officials are do besotted with babys weight gain that sometimes they forget how important sleep is for any growing child!!

A lot of first time mums on here, my best advice is keep an open mind and wait till you meet your little Martian and then review what you feel is best to do. You will do amazing im sure of it, even the world's most sleep deprived mums and dads manage to pull energy resources from somewhere! Go with the flow, dont be mean to yourself and know that it does get easier. I did get to know the different sorts of cried ds did to know what he needed! You will allbe fabby! :0) x

AbiBub Sun 06-Oct-13 00:27:52

Wow, typo's galore there, hope you get the gist! ! :0)

SuperMuddle Sun 06-Oct-13 01:09:13

<clutches pearls> formula fed???

grin

Good on your midwife for being supportive of your choice. I've found there's refreshingly little indignant bosom-hoicking on this thread, and you should never feel you have to justify yourself anyway.

<shudders at the thought of some of the scary people who inhabit the AIBU boards>

apprenticemamma Sun 06-Oct-13 05:11:51

Woken by bladder& huuuuuuuuuuuge McDonalds craving for a big Mac meal..torture shock shock shock ! Will pop in tomorrow when awake...wink

Cassiopeia01 Sun 06-Oct-13 08:03:56

Ooh apprentice. I too have a massive need for a Big Mac. In fact I Have done since last Saturday and today I will finally get one. Woo hoo!

Jolleigh Sun 06-Oct-13 08:24:45

Rock - I'm sure it is just pregnancy paranoia. After all, if there was actually some big dirty weekend planned, he prepped months in advance as I knew he was going to this one some time ago. And I don't think he'd have the nerve to take the car knowing I have no cash, only plastic, and there's no cash point in walking distance so I'm effectively stranded at home unless I use taxis.

I think the main 2 problems are these:

- There has been 1 occasion where I was away for the weekend and had trouble getting in touch with him. I convinced myself I was being paranoid that time. Turns out I wasn't. We obviously managed to get passed it but it doesn't mean this stuff doesn't ring bells.

-I still think he's been inconsiderate by not calling or even sending a few texts. Surely he wants to know I'm ok? I was really struggling with back pain when he left. It would only have taken a few minutes.

Rockchick1984 Sun 06-Oct-13 08:59:22

When's he due back? DH had told me 11.30, and rolled up about 2 hours later so now I'm shattered this morning as I couldn't sleep til I knew he was home safe. I completely agree that he's being inconsiderate not to text or call you, it really winds me up when DH does this to me!

Apprentice I really want a bacon & egg mcmuffin meal, but I'm far too lazy to get the bus over to maccys in time for 10.30! I suppose this is one of the benefits of getting rid of my car, when I was having DS I spent far too much time in maccys drive through!!!

HotCrossPun Sun 06-Oct-13 09:41:35

Oh Jolls thanks

That would drive me insane. It is inconsiderate for him not to give you a quick call to let you know he arrived or how he was getting on. Hopefully he phones you this morning full of apologies and with a feasible explanation as to why he went off the radar. How is your back feeling today?

Jolleigh Sun 06-Oct-13 09:58:45

He should be back this evening at some point. Not sure when, but he'd have to bother calling for me to know that!

No apologies this morning. I'd imagine he knows I'm pissed and is avoiding the backlash.

My back isn't too bad today so far...I've already done a full clean of the kitchen and walked the pooch. Don't intend to do more than some laundry now today and carry on watching Breaking Bad. Need to save my energy for when my twatty fiancé shows his face.

RaspberrysAndIcecream Sun 06-Oct-13 12:33:44

Morning!!! I've just had my first cup of tea in 10 weeks!!! Omg - it was amazing!!! grin

RaspberrysAndIcecream Sun 06-Oct-13 12:37:09

grey I've just messages you about Facebook. smile

Oh, Jolls, there is surely no excuse for no contact. I would go utterly mortal on his ass (which I am sure you will). Here, have these: thanks

Absy, thanks for your input. No judgement here about FF. I don't understand though: at the start of your post you said your child didn't sleep regardless of how much FF he had and then later on you say he was sleeping through from 8 weeks. Can you clarify?

Owl, The very title Baby Whisperer puts me off. I like a no-nonsense one-way-or-the-other instruction manual - dogmatic in tone preferably - written by someone who has nursed hundreds and hundreds of babies and toddlers wink I will deffo be taking a look at it though, thanks.

Lyra, how are things round your gaff this morning? I've been thinking about you and this strange man you used to be with. Is it right that he feels able to express himself however and whenever he like in front of your boys. Should he be able to discredit and abuse other adults in front of the children? Your boys clearly love him but I would start from the premise that they will grow up thinking it is perfectly okay to vent themselves in this manner in public and to whomever. We learn our behaviour from our parents and your ex is doing little to teach them how to behave with other adults you may not particularly respect. Can you lay this at his feet? Probably not, actually, he sounds like a narcissist of the highest order and they always think they're right and justified in their behaviour.

FindusLasagne Sun 06-Oct-13 12:49:33

Hi all. Found you! Due 8th March. Just joining the conversation. No way I'm going to be able to read from the start so will be following from now. I've added my info to the stats thread.

Coolhand Sun 06-Oct-13 13:25:00

Welcome Findus - as you may have gathered, this is a very chatty thread - good luck in keeping up! What child is this for you? We have everything from 1st to 5th on here.

I think Tracy Hogg aka 'The Baby Whisperer' has looked after thousands of kids. I think some people prefer her approach because she allows for different personality types in babies. But everyone will prefer the style which suits them best!

Anyone heard from Kara in a while? I hope she's doing okay.

lumpylumps Sun 06-Oct-13 13:25:12

I tried for 9weeks to get ds2 to take a dummy. Gave up on the end. It was awful tho, I remember not knowing what to do with a baby who doesn't have a dummy. As for over stimulation, that was a big thing here too. They'd both get wingy and it'd be because they just wanted to be left alone but of course, other people knew better and would insist on adding more simulation.

I honestly think that's the worst thing with a new baby whether you're trying to establish a routine or letting the baby lead, there are always people who think they know better and think they have the right to tell you how it should be done and how you're doing it wrong. You have to stick to what you feel is right for you and your family and bollocks to everyone else!!!

Got visitors here at the minute but when they've gone I'll post grannys top tips on routine. Then we'll all k now what we're doing.

MummyPig24 Sun 06-Oct-13 13:38:21

Welcome findus.

I was craving McDonald's all week and I finally got one yesterday. McChicken Sandwich meal. Yum!

PiratesMam Sun 06-Oct-13 13:49:49

Welcome Findus.

I just googled Tracy Hogg (baby whisperer) to see out of interest if she had kids, and she's dead!! She died aged 44 of cancer. I had no idea. She did have 2 daughters. She could earn 15,000 dollars for a week of baby whispering in Hollywood.

Egg mcmuffin talk made me go to our local market and buy a breakfast bap with all the trimmings. It was amazing!

karamcleod Sun 06-Oct-13 14:02:50

Hello all.
I am still alive, if only just. I hope everyone is well, and i will try my very best to catch up during the week and let you all in on whats going on up this end.

Jolleigh Sun 06-Oct-13 14:17:03

You know the pregnancy hormones are running riot when you shout at the TV because 2 women on Breaking Bad are gushing over chrysanthemums in a hospital room. where. there. are. no. fucking. chrysanthemums. angry I don't know much about flowers, but I know chrysanthemums look fuck all like tulips.

I really think I have a hormone issue today.

IceNoSlice Sun 06-Oct-13 14:37:13

Welcome Findus.

Crikey Joll have some pissy daisies chrysanthemums flowers

Mmm DH has taken DS swimming. Hello bed smile

Jolleigh Sun 06-Oct-13 15:06:26

I sound slightly crazy, don't I Ice?

FindusLasagne Sun 06-Oct-13 16:32:17

Thanks for the welcomes. Coolhand this is my third.

liberuna Sun 06-Oct-13 16:37:27

Sorry to hear about boy troubles real and paranoia induced. Id be soo pussed off if I didn't at least get courtesy text. They should know better <opinion on situation know nothing about>

I hope today goes better

Loving the Q&A session on feeding and sleeping.

Dreamt i could feel baby moving and this morning my abdomen is really tight like I'd done 100 sig ups confused

Spent today emptying the storage room to prep it as baby room. Which apparently my Martian isn't going to move in for a year grin

AbiBub Sun 06-Oct-13 16:40:08

Hee hee joll this made me chuckle shouting at the tv, ad just as I was reading it my ds was being noisy and dp was being slow on the uptake and I felt lije shouting at them both!! Its my 32 birthday and im feeling rather tired emotional and vague! I hate vague sundays they are so frustrating! !!!!!!

muddle made me giggle lol! Thats why I dont go on the AIBU boards I would probably be hunted down and slapped round the face with a wet fish or burned at the steak ( mmmmmm now thinking of steak!) .

Lyra I agree with what prambo2 said. Kids do learn a lot from watching what their parents do for sure. I stopped making excuses for my sad excuse of a father a few years back and I tell ya it was the best decision I made because it helped me then understand fully how I react to certain things in certain ways, it was stuff I had picked up from him when growing up, and I tell ya I starting to correct a lot of it now, but it hurts that I have even had to do this at this stage in my life as I didn't realise how many bad habits I had picked up from him!

prambo2 sorry, it was quite late when I was writing it! I meant ds didnt sleep for long periods of time in the beginning, but evetually by 8 weeks he slept through the night. I guess what I was trying to say was anything can happen, and what might not be able to work at the start may work a bit later on. Going with your instinct is my best advice for sure. I am sure however you decide to do it you will do great, I think you will be a wonderful mum because you are actually looking into and caring about it now and you haven't even had your LO yet smile

Feeling tired and still gave so much to get on with!! :0/

liberuna Sun 06-Oct-13 16:43:38

Welcome Findus

Hope all ok kara

RaspberrysAndIcecream Sun 06-Oct-13 17:14:53

Welcome Findus!!

Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday afternoon. My Nan has just told me she wants to buy the Moses basket, bless her, she's 87 this week!! It's her first great grandchild and she's already started knitting. I've also been told to look for a pattern for a blanket that she can knit, think she'll be knitting all winter!! grin

IceNoSlice Sun 06-Oct-13 19:37:15

Finally we are having cottage pie for tea!!

MummyPig24 Sun 06-Oct-13 19:55:25

ice we had cottage pie last night. Dh made it for the first time ever. It was lovely, he did well.

I'm finally feeling a bit better. My pulled muscle is way better, still a tiny bit sore. And I've managed to (sorry tmi) fart and poo! Yay!

Baby was moving around loads this morning when I was lying in bed and my stomach kept going hard. It was so weird!

lumpylumps Sun 06-Oct-13 21:01:51

Welcome findus I'm on number 3 too. Due on the 6th. What have c you already got??

I was having a good old listen either Doppler tonight and baby was doing some disco dancing. You could hear it all. Ds2 (3yrs) came in and started asking if it was Rosie!!! I tried again to tell him it might be a boy and he was having none of it!!! 2 weeks tomorrow till we find out!!!

Hope you're ok Kara

BakingEating Sun 06-Oct-13 21:28:58

Well today I baked my Christmas cake and Christmas puddings, then sprayed a bunch of pine cones I've collected gold. So that's my Christmas prep all done and packed away until December (apart from brandying the cake).

Tired now.

Sorry so many of you are having OH trouble. My dh took years of training to get him to a stage where he'd communicate via text/ call me if he was away. Also, he's never been one for talking when he's down and its taken me while to learn to leave him be and just offer some food when it gets to dinner time. For some reason, food always works smile

FindusLasagne Sun 06-Oct-13 21:53:02

Hi lumpy. Am jealous - I don't have a machine at home and I really missed hearing the heart beat at my MW appointment. They don't do it anymore around here (or everywhere?) since apparently it gives you a false sense of security (or something) and prefer to just ask you if the baby's been moving. I loved hearing the heart beat for my other DCs (I have 2 boys), just because it was amazing and really made a connection with the baby, not because it put my mind at ease.

I've been feeling lots of movement today. And been feeling knackered/dizzy a lot. Am sure there's a link!

Cassiopeia01 Sun 06-Oct-13 22:25:41

Welcome Findus!

I got my McDonalds. 2 Big Macs. 2! What a porker. But my god they tasted amazing. And I was v g at restraining myself from getting a 3rdshock.

All this talk of routines made me go and buy a couple of books. I got one with pictures (no idea what it's called but my DH is already per paving over the boob shots, deviant that he is) and one by Jo Frost (super nanny) which I am quite liking costs it's practical and realistic so far. Will see how it goes I guess. I think I am going to be a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kind of mum. It's what I do at work and seems to work ok there gringrin

BionicEar Mon 07-Oct-13 00:08:54

Findus - welcome!

I am also due on 8th March with my 3rd dc! grin So we'll be due date buddies and crazy mothers of 3 children! Tee hee!

Just a quick pop in to see how folks are - look like men are being pesky as usual, but hope they are now all home safe and eating humble pie.

Got my new car on Tues and loving it as so nice to drive. Managed to test out all 7 seats on Saturday as drove my daughter and several others to a laser quest party. Later on went to another party and on way home my friend's LO christened the car by throwing up! hmm Oh well such is life, was bound to happen at some point! Have been spraying stuff on the seat so it doesn't pong as much as it did.

Hope you all have a good week this week, with wriggly bumps, hormones not too loopy, partners behaving and not being prats etc etc! wink

greymoose Mon 07-Oct-13 05:31:17

Welcome new Martians! Haven't had a chance to catch up so hope everyone's ok and had a good weekend!

Busy day ahead and just want to sleep - went to sleep at about 12 woke up at 5 and my alarm was set for 5:45 so haven't been able to have a last snooze and am already paying the price!

Any more gender reveals this week?

apprenticemamma Mon 07-Oct-13 07:14:23

grey sympathies re unwanted early starts. Although....last night slept thru since 11am first time in days!

cassie I didn't succumb cos I'm trying to limitmyself and already caved Friday lunchtime. Roast chicken instead

However you have now given me a license to get two (one never enough!). What is it with big macs? think the gherkin sauce cheese combo is just too nom and the fries..

Getting up for busy day ahead first day back since gp ordered me to rest. Feeling a bit stronger and more normal..

who's scanning this week?

apprenticemamma Mon 07-Oct-13 07:14:54

since 11PM obv!

lumpylumps Mon 07-Oct-13 08:24:22

findus I have 2 boys too. They'll be 3.5yrs and 5.5yrs when this one comes. They're adamant it's a girl and have named her Rosie. I like the name but it's not my choice!!

It's been quite a nice weekend. My sil, bil and 2dns have been to stay. The youngest is 10.5yrs so the same age gap as I'll have between ds1and this one. It was nice to see how they played together and interacted. Although she's pretentious little madam who knows it all. She has to point out that she can do everything better than ds1. Well, yes, you're twice his age and size. Of course you can. She's very clever and knows it and can't ever possibly be wrong!!!

Anyway, bump has significantly changed this weekend. It's no longer a flabby wobbly belly but more round, hard and baby bump like. I'm going into town this morning to find some mat bottoms. I only have 2 pairs of jeans that I can wear now.

Hope everyone's ok.

x0gawjus0x Mon 07-Oct-13 08:40:24

I think 20 weeks are coming up now arn't they? Hope to hear lots of gender reveals and good news all round smile xx

HotCrossPun Mon 07-Oct-13 08:57:21

How was everybody's weekend?

Looking forward to hearing about this weeks scan results. I can't believe we are nearly half way through!

MummyPig24 Mon 07-Oct-13 09:30:32

findus I am also having number 3. Ds turns 6 this month and dd turns 4 on my due date!

I'm super tired today. Have dropped the sprogs at school and have flopped on the sofa with a cuppa to write my shopping list. I need to buy ds birthday presents this week, plus food and get his invitations out. He's taking 2 friends to the cinema on his birthday which is conveniently a Saturday. And I need to sew the elastics onto dds ballet slippers before her class tomorrow.

I am beginning to worry about how we will afford Christmas. My dad said he would give my brother and I a small amount of money when his flat sells (should be within a few weeks) but I'm not holding my breath! He likes to talk and never follows through. It would help me out massively though so I may have to beg.

Blockette Mon 07-Oct-13 09:53:39

Hi Findus!

I ~think~ I felt something this morning, but I'm not sure. I expect I was kidding myself as I'm so desperate to feel something!

Feeling quite good this morning, wonder how long it will last.

I hope everyone's DP's who were being pratts have had a apologies and the DP's have sorted themselves out!

Every time I come on this thread I leave feeling hungry! First Greg's, then cottage pie and now Big macs! Although I did "help" my dad make a whole round of pasties yesterday, so that I have food ready just to grab for lunch as I keep forgetting to take any to work. - not sure if It will last till lunch though as It keeps staring at me ... maybe I should have brought two ....

MummyBee87 Mon 07-Oct-13 09:59:22

Wowza - I go away for a week and we're on a completely new thread!! Will have to spend the day catching up me thinks! Money is something which is concerning me too at the moment. I was due a promotion and pay rise at work and last week my boss told me i'd no longer get either (not pregnancy related, just finance fudging) yet they still expect me to do the job and take the stress without the reward sad so as it stands I'll only be able to take my corporate 6weeks maternity, as I can't pay my bills on statutory mat pay. GUTTED is the word!!!

Blockette Mon 07-Oct-13 10:00:44

oh and has anyone else gone off tea?

I'm desperate for a cup of tea but every time I taste it (tried different brands) It tastes horrible! Like leaves and cardboard. And coffee tastes burnt, so all I'm left with is hot chocolate, which I'm not a big fan of really.
I've tried horlix, fruit tea's - and they are all just gross sad

I just want a cup of tea!!!!!!

Jolleigh Mon 07-Oct-13 10:33:06

Blockette - be thankful you weren't here during the pie butty fiasco! wink

PainAuxRaisins Mon 07-Oct-13 10:43:20

Happy Monday all. Had a very quiet weekend resting lots after a manic 2 weeks at work. Welcome Findus - good to see another one going for no 3, mine will be 6 and almost 4 by March - what about yours? I have my 16wk appt with Dr this afternoon (don't think I'm especially high risk but had a 10lb-er last time so they're a bit worried this one will be even bigger). I want to quiz the doc about why I'm still feeling dizzy every morning (low blood pressure?) and getting funny heartbeat. Do any of you have this?? It's probably due to the increase in blood volume but would be reassured to hear of any of you have this too. I suspect I've been overdoing it work-wise so going to take it easy from now on and see if it makes a difference. I hope all the troublesome DPs (and XPs!) are behaving themselves today.

BadlyWrittenPoem Mon 07-Oct-13 10:44:08

ice I'm glad the consultant you saw was good and listened properly to your concerns.

Abi I think it's totally right that your MW supported you in your choice of formula feeding - IMO their job is to make sure you have the information you need and then support you to do whichever you have chosen rather than ram BF propaganda down everyone's throats and not giving proper support to people in the choice they've made. My NHS trust really goes for propaganda rather than giving information and support which I find very annoying.

Blockette, tea tasting horrible is usually one of my early signs of pregnancy - the first time I was telling DH off for making terrible tea for two weeks before we found out I was pregnant. (Though this time the medication I'm on has meant I've actually been okay with tea.)

PainAuxRaisins Mon 07-Oct-13 10:45:24

Yeah block I fancy a cuppa too but it tastes like dishwater no matter how strong I make it. Please bring back my normal tastebuds!!

Morning all. Welcome Findus!

Pain, I too have funny palpitations sometimes, was to it was just due to the increase in blood volume. I'm also always dizzy but my bp was on the high side the other day hmm

My bump has also changed shape this weekend. Literally overnight it's popped out near my belly button.

I love gherkins. I normally hate maccy ds, but I've had cravings for their chips. I think it's the crunch and the salt. I'm all about texture in food at the moment. Very strange.

I had gone off tea, but am back on it now thank goodness!!

Sorry you're so tired grey. Maybe a sneaky power nap later?!

Gender scan next week. So excited about it!

JustCallMeBaldrick Mon 07-Oct-13 11:01:31

I've been getting the palpitations too - it's very disconcerting! I've only recently started drinking tea again, as it finally tastes like tea again, and doesn't bounce back smile
I've got my 20 week scan on Thursday - can't wait to see my little girl again!
Good luck to everyone having scans this week.

Pantomime Mon 07-Oct-13 11:02:00

Thought I would update you all on my '12 week scan'. They booked me in to have it done this morning then after two hours of waiting they called me in to tell me there is no clinical reason to do the scan after all. Because my midwife dropped the ball I missed the cut off point so they refused to scan me (had an emergency scan at 11 weeks). Had the blood test done to see what chance of downs while I was there.

Just gutted really, I had been looking forward to seeing my baby sad.

Beccadugs Mon 07-Oct-13 11:03:54

Morning all.

I spent most of the night awake in agony. I think it might be round ligament pain. I've had a little twinge in the same place since about 6 weeks ( probably mentioned before!) but it is utter utter agony today. Seeing the GP at 2.45 hopefully he'll have some definitive idea as I am worried there is something more seriously wrong!

MummyPig24 Mon 07-Oct-13 11:04:33

Oh my god panto, that is completely unacceptable! I cannot believe how you have been treated. No clinical reason? How about to check the baby is actually ok?!

Bastard arsehole wankers tax credits sent me a letter telling me they have overpaid me and I have to pay back £75! I don't have fucking 75p let alone £75!

Beccadugs Mon 07-Oct-13 11:05:25

Oh panto how utterly shit. sad

Panto that takes the absolute piss. I would be fuming. Absolutely fuming.

Becca that sounds really painful. Good idea to get it checked by the GP. Could you have pulled something? Maybe a nice warm bath in the meantime?

Beccadugs Mon 07-Oct-13 11:24:25

I wish I could have a warm bath. I am sitting at my desk, with a corrupt laptop having had to do the minutes from our Monday morning meeting (despite lots if pain, and no sleep, thanks chums) and with no way of sorting them out!

faithfulandtruthful Mon 07-Oct-13 11:51:54

Hello,

After a long weekend I now have an established cold. Yuck! Hope you ladies are all doing well.

My baby kicked me so hatd last night it made me jump. Few more weeks before my 20week (22nd October).

I spotted someone mentioning tracy hogg, love her books highly recommend. Also just recently come across a book called baby sleep solutions it talks lots of sense if you ask me and gives you different methods to try for the right solution for you. Tomorrow I'll add a couple more authors I rate.

F&T

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 12:02:15

Morning/afternoon all.

I'm still properly knackered and still being sick, although not with the regularity of former weeks. No idea how I'm supposed to manage working full time anymore. But if I took fewer hours I think it would affect my mat pay (struggling to work out when the period of work is that they base it on).

Had a fun filled weekend sleeping, napping & lying down. Oh, and I visited a bathroom showroom. Incredibly exciting, I know.

It's my 20-week scan tomorrow at 8.30am! Th'usband is coming, too! We're still not finding out the sex!

Rockchick1984 Mon 07-Oct-13 12:22:24

Fox it's based on money paid to you between weeks 17-25 of pregnancy, so for me last time it was the hours if worked between 13-21 weeks pregnant as we were paid 4 weeks behind. Does that make sense?

...oh, and still no movement here at 19+2.

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 12:37:00

Oh, Pram exciting! Mine's still 4 weeks off.

Thanks rock I'm paid on the 15th 2 weeks behind, 2 weeks ahead, so let me think....

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 12:41:24

I'm 17 weeks on Friday, so it's my October and November paycheques that count? Too confusing this. But then my thinking abilities have been going downhill since GCSEs.

So, Foxy, you've been doing fuck all all weekend but couldn't be arsed dropping in to see how the Martians are? How selfish. I stubbed my little toe on t'couch last night and could've done with some real support. You also missed a bomb scare at the chippy and me giving th'usband a posh wank with Bio Oil.

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 13:01:48

Haha! I have read back though and notice you failed to mention all of these events Pram

I don't really go on computer when not at work because, well, I spend all day at work on it!

Blockette Mon 07-Oct-13 13:18:20

Ha Ha Pram I was so confused then! (doesn't take much!)
- Excited for your scan tomorrow though! mines not until the 24th sad

Pram how exciting!! ManPram will love it!! The scan, not the wank....

Mine isn't until 5th November!!

Fox I too have no idea how I will cope working full time when I go back. I'm only entitled to SMA so irrelevant if I cut hours down sad

Foxy, but all those things did happen; I'm just uncomfortable with sharing things about my life. Pa hahahahahahahahaha! grin

Marbles, ManPram did love the wank but all the while I was thinking, 'this stuff is six quid a bottle'. It's Fairy Liquid tomorrow. Marbie, now that your pathetic half-a-pie bump has expanded to a full pie can we have an updated bump pic on faceache?

Those of you who will struggle on mat pay: have you considered down-grading to Morrisons and chucking your Boden catalogues away? Maybe not spending thirty quid on steaks? <cackles evilly> I'm 'orrible, me grin

BadlyWrittenPoem Mon 07-Oct-13 13:49:55

Pain I get palpitations and dizziness although not so bad so far this pregnancy than others which I'm assuming is down to having been able to keep my iron levels higher as I've not been so sick. My last pregnancy hospital admission, the out of hours GP told the registrar that my pulse was so high that he'd be concerned if a child had one that high. Supposedly low blood pressure is more common in the first half of pregnancy because relaxin has caused your blood vessels to expand but your body hasn't yet properly compensated with a commensurate increase in blood volume. Anaemia can also cause (or contribute to) low blood pressure and can cause dizziness and palpitations and is of course common in pregnancy too so it could be worth getting your haemoglobin levels checked.

Panto that is outrageous! In my fourth pregnancy I declined the dating scan because I'd had a scan at six weeks in hospital and didn't want the Down's Sndrome screening so saw no need and when I had my consultant booking at 18 weeks they tried to give me a dating scan. (They said I wasn't far enough on for the anomaly scan.) I think aside from the question of whether or not you were entitled to one, if you were a) told you would have one and b) given an appointment for one and c) are supposed to be receiving extra care then they should not have been refusing to do it when you turned up for your appointment. I am so angry on your behalf at the treatment you have received!

Blockette mine's 24th too.

IceNoSlice Mon 07-Oct-13 13:52:44

Pram downgrade to Morrisons? But there's me think Morrisons is posh - they mist the veg and everything.

HotCrossPun Mon 07-Oct-13 14:16:12

Pram The pound shop have stuff that is just like Bio Oil. I've been using it on my stomach, but I'm sure you can use it on your husbands knob just as effectively as the real stuff.

Pantomime Mon 07-Oct-13 14:26:44

Thanks for the support everyone. Well I was supposed to have a midwife appointment today as well, turned up and was told it had been moved to next week. The lady in front of me with my midwife was told the same thing. Feel like a total tit because I just burst in to tears in the middle of the waiting room because I am tired, I've been sick and I've been messed about.

When I asked about what happened to the original scan I was booked in for they said the referral must have got lost in the system, it happens apparently.

BWP
I was told I would have one, I was given an appointment so I turned up and got treated like I was wasting everyone's time. Just so gutted.

Beccadugs Mon 07-Oct-13 15:28:50

Panto not again?!? This is utterly ridiculous. Your midwife is clearly mental and incompetent.

Just been to GP. Apparently I have round ligament pain, AND a muscle that has gone into spasm. Codeine for the pain and warm baths. She also recommended working from home if I can get comfier there.

pram was the bio oil effective?!

BadlyWrittenPoem Mon 07-Oct-13 15:54:39

Panto it really is totally out of order the way they are treating you!

Rockchick1984 Mon 07-Oct-13 15:59:42

Panto you can request to see the supervisor of midwives, I'd be explaining how shite disorganised and unprofessional your care has been and get something better sorted with a different midwife!

Dabarai Mon 07-Oct-13 16:00:01

Sweet beejesus, how will I ever catch up?! Just tentatively coming back - hard to find time to read all the chatter and don't want to miss anything!

How is everyone? I finally bought myself some maternity trousers, OMG, so comfy... Now off to read all those conversations and will try to stay in touch now... If you still want me! (even if I am not technically a martian...!)

MummyPig24 Mon 07-Oct-13 16:08:52

Panto I can't believe how badly you have been treated. Are you going to put in a formal complaint? This is horrendous.

Pram good luck for your scan tomorrow!

I've only just had lunch. I should not leave it so late, I felt horrendous and still feel a bit shaky even though I have eaten. On the plus side Nando is kicking away!

BakingEating Mon 07-Oct-13 16:23:47

Panto this can't go on. I think you should speak to someone more senior because even if these were just an unlucky coincidence (not suggesting they are), you need reassuring that this won't continue. Can you take someone with you to do the talking if it gets a bit too much? thanks

Dabarai I love my maternity trousers, they are soooo nice.

Pantomime Mon 07-Oct-13 16:23:55

I am not sure if I will complain or not, they seem to have an excuse for everything. I just don't know what to do. The other half's mum is suggesting I move to a different midwife in the city as there is arguably one closer.

BakingEating Mon 07-Oct-13 16:25:10

And more generally, I find com

BadlyWrittenPoem Mon 07-Oct-13 16:38:04

Panto given the quality of "care", personally I would be changing MW as a minimum and I would be considering changing hospital depending on whether there were viable alternatives available. If you don't want to make a complaint, it's possible to change MW without having to give a reason - when I changed MW last time nobody even asked and it was only when they said I still had to have her at my birth if she happened to be on the rota that I said all the reasons why I didn't want her.

Panto, you've been treated abysmally but may I say not complaining merely leaves other women susceptible to the very same abusive system. Please stick up for yourself.

Becca, I've suffered muscle spasms and they are truly painful. Poor you sad The BioOil is nowhere near as good as Preseed for the ultimate knob massage. BioOil sinks straight in, of course, and leaves little room for that gorgeous slippperiness between the hands.

Hottie, you make me laugh grin

Dabarai, where the shit have you been, young lady? Stick around, pliz smile

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 16:44:18

Recently realised I won't get much wear out of my beloved maternity skinny jeans because of a lack of suitable footwear. Wear them with canvas pumps at present, but as winter kicks in these will not be suitable & will have to transfer to massive clunky boots, which will make me look like a biker when on display at the end of my skinny legs. Oh dear.

I've had the exact same thought processes, Foxy. Fucking hate these maternity skinnies anyway. They feel obscene whilst pregnant.

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 16:46:13

But I don't have another pair of jeans that I still fit into. Crap. I didn't think this through.

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 16:47:14

I like mine. The make me look less fat. It's the giant feet causing the problems.

How about some boyfriend mat jeans? What winter boots would you normally wear?

Supermodels have skinny legs and still wear biker type boots with their skinnies. You need more confidence in your body shape and foot size, not new clothes.

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 17:02:30

Unfortunately I don't look good in boyfriend jeans. I already have the figure of a boy, so I don't need any help in that department.

I've only just bought my first winter boots (been making do with £3 pumps previously, which is not good considering I already have circulation probs in my feet!) and I must confess, they are not pretty. Infact, they're well butch. Actually, they're men's. I couldn't find anything practical in ladies. Women's shoes are all too small and narrow and pointy. I have long wide man feet! But these are fur lined and big enough to get thick socks underneath. They're These

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 17:06:21

I'm not unconfident with my body or my feet (I just wish they didn't cause so many problems with getting shoes), but I know when to admit when I look like a twat smile. I'll have to make do with what I've got clothes-wize one way or the other, can't be forking out for any more mat clothes I don't think.

Sorry to label you as body-dysmorphic hmm FWIW I quite like those boots. Indeed, I might get some. They're just perfect for icy pavements and cold, long walks. Your feet sound like flippers, please tell us the size <perversely intrigued>

Foxy, are you game for the Manchester meet-up on a Saturday afternoon in November? I would like to meet you <narrows eyes>

Foxy I think they'd look great with skinny jeans. I bet your feet aren't that big <hopeful>

Panto I also think you should complain. It's really unfair the way you're being treated sad. Have some cake

Jolleigh Mon 07-Oct-13 17:41:54

grin @ Bio wanks

FoxMulder Mon 07-Oct-13 18:03:23

That's what I had in mind pram icy pavements, puddles etc and I needed something that would pass at work too. I wear a size 9. I used to be an 8 but after backpackpacking for 18 months and exclusively wearing flip flops they kind of spread...

I might be up for a Manchester meetup. Nor sure. Sounds a bit frightening. Need to get a bit better first too, properly knackered myself for all last week after the previous weekend's Manchester trip.

HotCrossPun Mon 07-Oct-13 18:09:46

I need to lay off the birthing videos. I've watched 5 so far today, it's like an addiction!

Foxy I've never, ever noticed the size of another woman's feet. I'd known my SIL for about 3 years when I asked her if she wanted some shoes that I'd bought in a sale that I wasn't keen on. She looked at me like I was an idiot before pointing out that my feet are a size 5 and hers are a size 8 grin

Jolls I hope you have a list of chores/meals/sexual favours that you are going to make your man work his way through over the next few days. Milk his lack of contact for all it's worth!

Panto I echo what everybody has already said. You have been treated appallingly. Don't let them fob you off!

Where's Lyra?

commsgirl Mon 07-Oct-13 18:15:05

Panto I'm appalled at the way you've been treated. I think this has already been said but I think your first port of call should be the Supervisor of Midwives.

Jolleigh Mon 07-Oct-13 18:16:18

Trust me Hot I'm milking it for all it's worth grin

He's definitely aware now that my biggest and most disconcerting pregnancy foible so far is paranoia and as far as I'm concerned, if he's not in sight, he's shagging someone else. It's quite crippling. And not like me at all.

What's everyone having for tea?? I'm doing a chilli con carne shortly smile

Blockette Mon 07-Oct-13 18:55:42

Just about to go shopping - you lot like talking about food - what can I get for dinner that won't take too long to cook?

RaspberrysAndIcecream Mon 07-Oct-13 19:12:29

Block - I cheated tonight. On the way home from work, the kebab shop lights lit up and called to me, and told me to buy chips in pitta - so I did grin

Could not be arsed to cook, feeling so shit, it's been a long day.

Panto - that sucks. If u don't complain nothing will change as they don't realise anythings wrong.
When do u get a scan? (Sorry if you've already said and I've missed it)

commsgirl Mon 07-Oct-13 19:15:38

Tuna pasta bake and garlic bread. Lazy carb fest tonight!

I am thunderously opposed to rewarding an errant partner with sex <gavel> <twice>

Foxy, why would you be afraid of a meet-up? <narrows eyes to slits>

Marbie, I chortled at your '<hopeful>' after querying Foxy's shoe size. Sixe 9 is shockingly massive. Huge. Yeti-like. How do you make friends? Can you walk on water? Are you disqualified from swimming galas?

Rasp, sympathy for your kebab shop-calling. I, too, am being hailed down the telephone airwaves by Zorba, my local takeaway.

Th'usband has returned from work with more gifts for the baby from his customers (not morbidly obese jam lady or Pat & Ron). 'Joan' has knitted the most gorgeous blanket and 'Louise' has bought us a solid silver double picture frame for 'baby's 1st scan photo' and 'baby's 2nd scan photo'. We are massively touched that folk think so much of us and our baby when they barely know us. There are a lot of kind people out there.

Blockette Mon 07-Oct-13 20:06:50

Commsgirl wins! Pasta bake sounded too good to miss, so we copied - pasta bake and garlic bread YUM!

Ahh Prambo that's so sweet!

Prammy that is so very thoughtful!! I take that as a testament to how lovely you and ManPram are x

Good choice Comms and Rasp

And good choice Block!

greymoose Mon 07-Oct-13 20:12:11

Sausage, mash and beans for me, quorn sausages for dp hmm

My mum really is making a rod for her own back here as if she keeps making me dinner I'm not sure we'll ever leave grin

RaspberrysAndIcecream Mon 07-Oct-13 20:13:34

Can I admit that I cried on my way home tonight as some bastard cut me up.

Bloody hormones. I think that made the kebab shop even more appealing!!!

Prambo - that's so lovely!! People are kind, especially when babies are concerned!! I love knitted blankets! What ru having from Zorba?

greymoose Mon 07-Oct-13 20:13:52

Aw prammo that's so nice!

Panto - can't believe you're being treated this way, definitely echoing what everyone is saying about taking it further x

commsgirl Mon 07-Oct-13 20:18:16

Pram that's lovely smile

Glad I could inspire you Block!

MacD75 Mon 07-Oct-13 20:33:32

At the risk of repeating what everyone else is saying, Panto that's unbelievably shocking treatment! I've been getting annoyed at just getting appointments smack in the middle of the working day too, feel quite lucky now.

Fox I've got boat like feet too and haven't bought skinny maternity jeans, I got some mothercare boyfriend jeans - they're not really boyfriend shape, just not as skin tight as skinny. They only go up to 31" leg tho.

MummyPig24 Mon 07-Oct-13 20:41:24

I didn't have any tea cos I felt so sick. Kids had cottage pie that dh made on Saturday. Dh had pizza, chips and salad.

Now we are in bed watching a movie, living the rock and roll lifestyle!

Rockchick1984 Mon 07-Oct-13 20:43:17

I love my H&M maternity jeans as they are so lovely and long (I'm 34" inside leg and tend to struggle) think they had different shapes available? I just got skinnies, it's usually converse with them if its dry, cowboy boots if any chance of rain!

I did butternut squash risotto for tea, it was yummy!

liberuna Mon 07-Oct-13 22:05:40

Had to share this.
A review from baby whisperer book "I wish she had more than one alternative suggestion. This book is for those who like routine, have good self esteem and are not breastfeeding. . The rest of us should stay clear."

apprenticemamma Mon 07-Oct-13 22:26:15

hey libs interesting to hear reviews of baby whisperer. I did like routine but was not a slave to it and used her ideas flexibly. I wouldn't have described myself as a first time mother having masses of confidence or self esteem. And I breastfed exclusively to 12 weeks before combo feeding. However this worked for us and several friends of similar mindset. Surely the key to any of these books is to use flexibly. And as my mum said to me they didn't have these manuals in the 70s but used advice and instinct. Now it's a whole industry!

just adding me tuppence worth...smile

apprenticemamma Mon 07-Oct-13 22:28:03

macd have you name changed?
Are u trying to trigger more big Mac cravings and intrusive thoughts?

apprenticemamma Mon 07-Oct-13 22:28:14

grin grin

karamcleod Mon 07-Oct-13 22:30:27

Good evening everyone!
I'm not really managing to keep up with the thread at the moment as I've got a lot on and I'm feeling incredibly shit, I've also deactivated my facebook account for the time being so I'm not keeping up on there either.

I hope everyone is doing well and not feeling too uncomfy with ever growing bumps.

More gender reveals this week at 20 week scans? I've got 10 days to go. Also have my driving test next Monday so will be an eventful week to say the least!

I miss being able to keep up with you lot but hopefully after my 20 week scan i will be back with y'all.

OwlinaTree Mon 07-Oct-13 22:34:33

panto I am shock. Fancy you going all that way and them not doing it. That's just mean. Hope you get another scan soon and another midwife if that's what you want.

Ive read the baby whisperer book and she definitely talks a lot about breastfeeding. She tries to be positive about each choice (but you get a feeling she is in favour of breastfeeding personally). She gives support and advice about both. So I'm afraid I disagree with that review liberuna and would still recommend it.

OwlinaTree Mon 07-Oct-13 22:37:37

Still got horrible cough and sore throat. Boss says 'oh don't stay too late today' then talks to me for 40 mins preventing me from getting anything done.

Mr scan is 2 weeks today. Can't wait!!

MacD75 Mon 07-Oct-13 22:39:06

Ha not deliberately, sorry apprenticemama! Tho there's always something on here that makes me hungry - I'm loving subway sandwiches at the moment.

All the talk of different feeding theories is really interesting, totally haven't thought that far ahead yet, maybe after the 20 week scan I'll start reading up. Tho I have to agree about using the books flexibly, all babies aren't the same.

Hope everything's ok kara, have been worried about you x

Owl you poor thing. Hope the nastiness clears soon.

All these books/theories/routines are interesting, if a little daunting. Apprentice my mum said a similar thing!!

Did anyone watch midwives tonight? I found it incredibly hard not to scream at the tv.

We get to see our gorgeous baby in 8.5 hours!

..off to watch Midwives right now, Marbie. Is it that frustrating? I'll try and guess who you're furious at...

IceNoSlice Tue 08-Oct-13 02:51:49

Oh sleep, we used to be such good friends. Why do you desert me now? Come back, I need you!

JustCallMeBaldrick Tue 08-Oct-13 05:52:22

Ow, ow, ow!!! Bloody carpal tunnel syndrome sad I finally got to sleep at about 2.30 (thanks a bunch, DS1), then DD woke up at 5, and my hand hurts so much I can't get back to sleep.
I've had a dead arm feeling all day, but now it's focused on my thumb, and I just want to rip it off. Going shopping for w wrist splint tomorrow. Annoyingly, I already have one, but it's for the other hand. How bloody annoying is that?!
Ice, I hope you finally got to sleep!

Oh, you two sad

What the bloody hell is going on?? It's pitch black outside! I have to walk through a park to get to my bus stop. Alone. In this dark. Can you believe th'usband is not allowed to give me a lift to the scan in his works van? So I have to trudge through the park and spend £4.60 on the bus whilst he gets to drive there straight from work. He'll drive past me at the bus stop, too shock

Can't wait to see t'little 'un though grin

apprenticemamma Tue 08-Oct-13 07:07:44

me threesad awake since 4.30 thanks to bladder toddler oh and palpitations. A loooooong day looms.shock ..

apprenticemamma Tue 08-Oct-13 07:09:21

pram good luck! !!! Shit about works van and Id have thought u of all people would disregard that one wink

Oh, Marbie, you gorra spare telly? I smashed mine to pieces last night watching The Midwives angry

Apprentice, it's th'usbnad who won't break the rules. I honestly don't think he'd let me in that fucker even if I was in labour hmm

x0gawjus0x Tue 08-Oct-13 07:20:29

ALready had two egg custard tarts on the way to work tempeted to have a third but then ill only have one left sad!!

lumpylumps Tue 08-Oct-13 07:35:26

Morning all!!! Do I have to get up??? I'm so tempted to pull a sicky but I still have to get the boys to school and nursery!

I had a big Mac for tea last night. "Treated" ds1 for getting an achievement certificate at school last week!!

apprenticemamma Tue 08-Oct-13 07:41:10

was gonna say Prambo , u gonna bus it to labour ?!!grin Bleddy usband.

commsgirl Tue 08-Oct-13 07:45:47

It's too early for buses Prambo. I'd have sneaked myself in the back of the van and jumped out at the hospital like a fugitive.

Another one with no sleep last night. Worst. Heartburn. Ever.

Rockchick1984 Tue 08-Oct-13 07:51:14

What times the scan Prambo? I just know it'll all be perfect for you! Still think you should find out what you're having its a boy to satisfy your my curiosity grin

lumpylumps Tue 08-Oct-13 08:20:38

Morning all!!! Do I have to get up??? I'm so tempted to pull a sicky but I still have to get the boys to school and nursery!

I had a big Mac for tea last night. "Treated" ds1 for getting an achievement certificate at school last week!!

lumpylumps Tue 08-Oct-13 08:21:34

Oops. Sorry, didn't mean to post that again!!

MummyPig24 Tue 08-Oct-13 08:35:24

What a weird rule pram, why isn't he allowed to take you in the van?

I had a pretty good sleep last night, which makes it so much harder to get up. I need some strawberries pretty urgently so I will be going to the co op when I've dropped my little blighters off.