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MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 7: Are you due next March? Do you have wrecking balls for breasts? Getting moist over iCandys? Then come and talk shyte with us..

(1000 Posts)
Rockchick1984 Thu 05-Sep-13 22:43:24

Thanks Pram - marking my place smile

BionicEar Thu 05-Sep-13 22:45:24

I cannot believe we are on Thread 7 already! shock grin

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 22:50:16

Ta Pram

commsgirl Thu 05-Sep-13 22:51:36


I am sad to say I have removed many names from the stas list who are no longer with us. We now number 37. Is SaggyOldClothCat still with us?


Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 22:59:06

Just 37? I thought we had more than 100!?

Jolls, the main thrust of Gina Ford's feeding/sleeping routine is this:

' Establishing a good bedtime routine and getting your baby to sleep well between 7-10pm is a major factor in how quickly he will sleep through the night. A baby who feeds well at 6pm, and settles to sleep well between 7pm and 10pm, will wake up refreshed and ready to take a full feed.'

It is this late feed that Gina insists is crucial to not having a baby that then wakes up at 1am, 3am, 5am and 7am wanting to be fed. This, in turn, all hinges on whether you have established a good feeding regime during the day and not allowed baby to nap to much during waking hours...

'Establishing a bedtime routine will only be possible if your baby is well fed and ready to sleep by 6.30-7pm. For example, if you allow your baby to sleep for lengthy periods in the late afternoon, he is unlikely to settle well at 7pm, even if he has fed well. The key to encouraging your baby to sleep well at night is very dependent on what happens during the day'.

And yes, this involves waking your baby for daytime feeds at the recommended times for his age.

Coolhand Thu 05-Sep-13 23:24:31

It didn't work for me. We established the good early sleep routine, DS got into really solid sleep and we would keep waking him for the late feed. He never once woke refreshed and ready for a full feed. He then went back down and woke constantly because we had unsettled him - instead of getting into his main sleep as promised.

After months of it not working and fighting with my mum, DH about waking him for late feed, we just decided to let him sleep on one night and ignore GF. He woke at 2, went back to sleep. The next night we left him again and he slept through.

A good routine around day sleeps is important for night time sleep although it's a while before that falls into place. Agree with her on that one.

Anyway - glad to hear good scan news today. Promised myself I'd be in bed by 10 tonight as exhausted. Thanks for the linky on slings etc F and T v useful. Already wanted the Boba 3G but gives me ideas on slings as well.

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 23:24:58

Hmm. The principles behind it seem sound from what you've posted Pram

Been reading some reviews and it seems a lot of people are affronted by the way she proposes them...more like a step by step guide than something you apply common sense to? I definitely get why the books can make a nervous first time mum feel as though she's failing.

Sounds worth a read to me though. I'm quite thick skinned so don't see myself getting too upset by a parenting book smile

I'm thick-skinned, Joll, which is why this woman and this schedule appeals to me. She doesn't deny that is can be tough, especially in the early days, but she's seen far too many women become slaves to demand feeding and not sleeping and having near nervous breakdowns.

This is the last time I'll quote this woman (unless I'm asked to, of course) but it this which appeals to me:

'By 3-4 months, most babies are capable of of sleeping 12 hours at night (with a sleepy feed at 10pm), provided their daytime sleep is no more than three to three and a half hours, divided between two or three naps a day. If you want your baby to sleep from 7-7.30pm to 7-7.30am, [yes please!] it is very important you structure these naps so that he has his longest nap at midday, with two shorter ones in the morning and late afternoon. While it may be more convenient to let your baby have a longer nap in the morning followed by a shorter nap in the afternoon, this can lead to problems as he gets older.'

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 23:41:21

I'll definitely have a read later in the pregnancy when I've got somewhere to put baby things and binge read without overwhelming OH too much smile

On the bright side...I'm officially getting the new pram I want now. Spoke to OH today and although he did spit his dummy out at first, he managed to rein himself in and acknowledge that this isn't about him getting his own way.

BionicEar Thu 05-Sep-13 23:44:57

To add my two pence worth... any baby guru who doles out advice and has never actually has any children makes me go a bit hmm. Maybe that's just me?!

I also found that friends who obsessively followed methods like GF then struggled to do anything outside of baby's routine and would get stressed far more easily that laid back people like myself who just got on with things. But again just my own personal opinion! smile

BionicEar Thu 05-Sep-13 23:49:19

Also don't want to freak out 1st timers, but it's hard to predict what your baby will be like regard sleeping.

My 1st was great (after a small hiccup) at sleeping, but my 2nd was a nightmare until about 1&1/2yrs and believe me we tried every trick in the book to get him into a good sleeping pattern.

I have another friend who had 3 great sleepers, but her 4th child was a total nightmare like mine at sleeping, even though she used the same methods that she used with her 3 great sleepers.

Personally think it's luck of the draw on whether you'll get a great sleeper or not. Thou am keeping everything crossed that this baby decide to follow DC1 in his/her sleep pattern! grin

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 00:00:37

I'd definitely agree there's bound to be an element of luck of the draw, but I do like going into situations armed yo the teeth with as much information as I can keep in my head. I generally then mentally discard anything that doesn't work for me smile

I've heard all the 'what does Gina Ford know when she's never had kids' arguments but the woman has cared for hundreds of babies and many, many women swear by her. Mothers who have never used her methods will always slag her off, but I'm simply not prepared to have a baby hanging off my tit 24/7 because it won't sleep.

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 00:08:29

But it won't hang off you tits 24/7, as when asleep they tend to let go or you can detach! grin

Though now have image of baby dangling constantly from tits! grin oooh how painful would that be... and annoying too!

I posted my tuppence-worth on Gina Ford at the end of the other thread. I think it's worth reading her book and picking bits of advice but the harsh regime will not work for all babies. And I think some people are hmm about her not having children of her own because she hasn't experienced the emotional side of looking after a baby. It's easy to say "leave them to cry and self-soothe" but it's not do easy when it's your own baby that you adore. I never left my two two cry (unless they were just whingy, not proper crying) and they were happy easy-going babies who didn't have to be attached to me 24/7.

My advice? Take bits and pieces of advice from lots of sources, apply common sense and don't have any rigid ideas in mind till you know what kind of baby you're dealing with.

SoSurprised Fri 06-Sep-13 05:23:09

Hi everyone, new thread already! I am still struggling with work and feel a full blown breakdown is coming soon. Will c my GP on sat but dnt wat ty can offer, as taking time off seems like running away and ultimately I would have to go back. I m annoying everyone by being sad and crying all the time. Sorry for doing a whinge fest here too sad

faithfulandtruthful Fri 06-Sep-13 06:46:17

SoSuprised a break could be all you need to find a bit of head space. Look on the bright side its almost the weekend. Look after yourself.

On the subject of Gina Ford, I personally would only ever use her book for guidelines. I have never been able to work out how you manage to establish breast feeding whilst using her methods, I would be interested to hear of people who have.

I believe you must be careful what you say about Gina Ford as I understand mumsnet had a few problems regarding some heated discussions within the forum a few years back.


Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 06:55:39

Marking place.

Very impressed that people are thinking about routines etc.

I had a little panic yesterday about the baby and how we will cope financially.

I also can fit into any of my clothes...

Hope you feel better soon sosurprised

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 07:04:29

Surprised what's been happening at work? Hope you're ok, we are all happy to listen to you whinging on here - we all do it!!

Re Gina Ford, pretty much all the mums I know (including myself) have tried it. 2 have successfully implemented it, although one is now on her second baby and this one refuses to be "Gina'd" so definitely think its down to the baby. Agree that its very life-limiting though, can't go to groups etc because they clash with nap times!

My DS is probably the least clingy out of the kids I know, despite me doing the attachment parenting stuff (there's evidence that this makes them less clingy) and he will happily spend an afternoon playing independently if I need him to, unlike many other 2 year olds who need constant entertaining! Yes he's been a bad sleeper, but he was a bad sleeper no matter what we tried. Think my fave parenting book was this one (yes she's Amy Farafowler from Big Bang theory).

PiratesMam Fri 06-Sep-13 07:37:05

Ooh I've woken up to a new thread! It's like Christmas grin

Totes agree with Lyra that there is wriggle-room with all the routine books. I borrowed the Gina book with my first but it annoyed me that she told me what to have for breakfast and when! She doesn't do herself any favours with her tone! However I'm pretty sure she does say, if baby is really crying, you should go to wind/soothe/top-up in the early days, but low-level whinging is ok to leave, which I agree with; proper crying I couldn't leave.

Right must get up! Kids are stirring!

liberuna Fri 06-Sep-13 07:42:49

Marking place -love the name Pram

ANY scan today?

Interesting thoughts on routines, Does anyone have any thoughts or used Jo Frost method?

Teddybear4 Fri 06-Sep-13 07:44:25

Congrats on the good scans.

I agree totally with Lyra and Bionic. GF drove me to the brink with DS. I was sure, because of the way the book is written, all babies must be able to comply with the Gina routine. DS just didn't need that much sleep (and I was very stubborn and thick skinned with the crying) and was such an efficient feeder he fed 10 mins every 3-4 hours (so no hanging off boobs). He also preferred his own space to being cuddled. I binned the book before DD arrived. Both DD and DS slept through from 6 months in the end and I now totally accept that sleepless nights are what you sign up for when you chose to make a new life. Given I'll have two others (in their own happy routine which doesn't fit in with GF where you are effectively tied to the nursery), I'll be winging it sleep deprived this time. It's also my last baby (and one I didn't think we'd even have for a while) and I suspect I'll treasure every second of Velcro-ness.

On slings, I have two moby slings for newborns. I love them and so did DD. Pop baby in, wander round doing jobs until sleeps, sit on sofa with cuppa and cake. No screaming or rocking/patting or shushing in a dark room involved...

20 week scan on 15 October. I'm tempted by a sneaky gender scan in a couple of weeks though. I told work this week which went better than expected and I'll finish work mid-Jan which seems scarily close!

Marking place.

Morning all!

Slippersandacuppa Fri 06-Sep-13 08:13:55

A whole new thread, la la la la la la la la...

Sorry, crazy busy (as I'm sure everyone is) so have a lot to catch up on.

Hope scans and work are going well, partners are behaving themselves (as much as can be expected) and everyone is starting to bloom!

Pram oh I'm so sorry if you thought that was a criticism in any way - it really wasn't, I could listen to you talk (or read what you type, rather) for hours! It's sad that all those amazing tales of adventure have caused you some heartache. But what amazing things you have seen/ done. And it sounds like you've come out the other side. So please keep telling us!

Rockchick I did the whole attachment thing with mine (not so keen on using the labels though as people seem to chuck you in the hippy/crunchy basket). It's just what made sense and came naturally to me and I'll be doing the same again.

Gina Ford. Two words to divide mothers everywhere. I do think that she may have a point despite not having had children as she can see things far less emotionally than we can (good or bad?). I also agree that, at least with mine, fiddling around with daytime sleep and sticking to something of a routine (easily done when you've got numerous school pickups/drop offs to do) helps.

However, I have two big concerns with her books. The first is that I've seen the stress caused when babies won't comply with what she says they should be doing. Parents feel like they are failing. And failing their children and it just spirals - where's the enjoyment in that?

Secondly, I know she says it somewhere but in reality, it encourages you to ignore your instincts. Instead of listening to and watching the baby, you looking at the clock and thinking - they should eat now etc etc. Prior to DC2 being diagnosed with severe silent reflux, my Gina-friendly friend was trying to give me helpful advice about letting him self soothe. Which I ignored. Imagine how guilty I'd have felt if I'd let him do that and then realised he'd been I excruciating pain?

So basically, as has been said (sorry!), read it and take some of it to use but ultimately listen to your instincts.

Happy day all!

commsgirl Fri 06-Sep-13 08:17:40

I like the look of that book Rock

Wearing my new H&M maternity tights for the first time and they're sooo long. I'm 5'7. Do they think we grow taller in pregnancy too??

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 08:37:27

Morning all

Pram, you've been a bit over keen with the stats list and removed a few active people - I'm going to reinstate the old list but remove those that haven't posted since "joining" the thread

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 08:53:05

my 2p on parenting GF or not - you'll do what works for you and your baby that's it... Nothing special or ground breaking, GF works for some, not others attachment works for some, where as the thought drives others bonkers, we as a species have been coping as parent without labels and routines for thousands of years and we'll continue to manage by doing what works for us at the time

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 09:07:22

Thanks for the link Rock - that looks right up my street!

MTB, who have I removed who hasn't posted for ever?

Teddy, I am not being facetious here but how is a baby feeding for only ten minutes every 3-4 hours 'efficient feeding'? Surely a baby can not be sated in this time? I am learning, so please don't do nuts.

I am quite aware that Gina Ford will work only with some dedication and lots of hard work. However, to suggest a baby does not benefit from regimes and structure is plain bonkers to me. I will never leave my baby to scream its head off for hours on end but I shall Gina's routine before resorting to demand feeding <shudders>

Mumsnet was almost closed down due to some serious allegations made about Gina Ford and her methods by hysterical hippy mumsnetters who accused her of child abuse.

On the subject of Gina Ford evoking feelings of 'failure' in new mums, I know full well that those feelings will afflict us all at some point, no matter whose advice we are following. Part of the territory with a newborn, isn't it?

apprenticemamma Fri 06-Sep-13 09:11:53

Morning all. Enjoying the debate around routines. It's so individual and there is no one size fits all. I see it as a spectrum with attachment parenting (slinging, co sleeping, less routine) on one end of the spectrum and Gina ford ( baby learning your routine) at the other end. Lyra what you said totally chimes with my view (but not feeling as eloquent this morning!) . I personally wouldn't use Gina ford though, to me it conflicts with my own ideas & attachment theory. . However I also believe in structure and routine and saw ds two cousins ( both Velcro 3 years on don't sleep/separate well ) and I really did n't want that either.We loved Tracey Hogg The Baby Whisperer and it gave a great happy medium of the two extremes, so you have a less rigid but routine, you break the feeling/sleeping link , you are responsive encourage self soothing also. DS and our sanity benefited and he's a v good sleeper still althoughI aagree there's an element of luck to that. I'll be using her ideas again next time too although baby's gonna have to fit in with our existing routine too

Slippers, you lovely girl, what did you say that may have irked me? Nowt! I am flattered by your compliments and thank you for them smile

I'm off to work in t'charity shop with Joan this morning hmm

apprenticemamma Fri 06-Sep-13 09:12:36

* feeding/sleeping

Teddybear4 Fri 06-Sep-13 09:33:46

That's just what some babies do Pram. It depends in your let down, the way your breasts produce milk, the technique of the baby, diet, the content of your milk and a whole lot of other things. He only ever fed from one side too. GF and her "30 mins on the left, and 10 on the right" or other such nonsense was never going to work as my baby didn't work like that. He was clearly sated as if you offered again before he was ready it was declined. DD fed for longer at a time but this didn't influence her ability to nap more than 30 mins at a time for the first 6 months - but am sure we'll get on to that next July...

Most babies will find some sort of natural pattern, mostly one that fits in around their parents and the eat, do sleep that all humans have. GF just doesn't acknowledge this or that for some babies this will come in time. Those children I know who don't have this sort of pattern (or took longer to develop it) are those with parents who don't follow the norms in terms of a daily routine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not at the other end of the spectrum and, with some encouragement, by 6 months, both my children had a morning nap about 9, an afternoon nap about 1 and were in bed by 7. But most my friends babies did too, whether they had followed GF or not.

I agree it's all personal choice and depends on the baby and personal circumstances. I also agree its wrong to assume you need to be GF or attachment. There is a happy middle ground based on a combination of lots of different techniques and mum's instinct.

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 09:38:55

MTB Can we update our stats to include our real due dates? Or shall we just leave them as they are?

rosyryan Fri 06-Sep-13 10:10:30

Morning all! Loving the debate. Hope no one gets offended though. It's good to have a good old rigorous barney exchange of ideas.
I'm Team Lyra. Just go with the flow! You wouldn't have a big ol' list of how you wanted your future partner to live his life day to day before you had even met him, so why would you with a baby? They aren't just animatronic potatoes (even though they look like them) - they do all have their own personalities you know! Getting to know them and finding out what they like is NOT the same as letting them trample you into the ground.

PiratesMam Fri 06-Sep-13 10:29:16

Teddy that's what both mine were like too. Quick feeders. I also know from expressing that I have a really quick let-down reflex; I could get about 6 oz during one half of Corrie!!! DS fed every 2-3 hours in the early days and DD every 3-4 hours; neither of them lost weight so they were definitely getting what they needed to grow. So that's why I liked the structure of the GF routine in terms of sleep, but the feeding regime just would not have worked for me and my babies.

Babies and children do feel secure within a daily routine but they also feel secure if they know that mummy or daddy is there when they need them. My friend is lending me her cloth wrap for the early days which I think will be really useful - it's so stressful trying to get food ready for older kids when you can hear baby crying in the background. Bit nervous of how to use it though so only used baby bjorn for DD, she'd have a little nap in it whilst I'd prepare DS's food. That last nap of the day is often a nightmare which is why even Gina suggests taking them out in the buggy for that one, but that's easier said than done when it's 4.30pm and bigger kids are demanding their dinner!

Our routine this time will have to be structured around the school runs which I'm hoping will work out quite nicely - little morning and afternoon naps on the way to and from school and a lunchtime nap which will probably start when I pick DD up from preschool at lunchtime, so I'll have to dump baby in the cot when we get home from that. Basically once the dust has settled I'll see what works best for us. It will be... interesting!?!

It's pouring here today. I need school to start!!!

greymoose Fri 06-Sep-13 10:40:12

Oooh what a nice sparkly new thread! Been AWOL for a bit so am just skimming now so am probably missing everything sorry - had extreme hip/back pain and am avoiding going to hospital but dp is now insisting after last night when i couldn't move.

BORING QUESTION: does anyone know anything about maternity pay/how it works if you have your own company? would we be effectively paying me maternity pay from the company etc? not sure if this is relevant but me and dp are the only shareholders (50/50) and are the company directors, company was incorporated in october last year. am avoiding the accountant as end of year is coming up and don't have the energy.

do we have a recommended book list on all that are worth a look that we can compile at all? bamboozled!

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 10:47:50

Grey hope your back is easy to sort out - any ideas what's up with it? Re mat pay, are you a partnership or limited company?

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 10:51:12

Pram I stand corrected you've just used the top from rather than the latest, so the dates are a bit screwy

Hot I've tried to keep the stats updated with the new dates, but if you just put a note on the stats thread I'll make sure you get updated

greymoose Fri 06-Sep-13 10:57:10

rock thanks! i think its pgp after reading up, but not entirely sure, my knee goes out of joint so i don't have the best track record which is why its so worrying! its a limited company so I have a feeling maternity pay may be counter productive which is crap haha!

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 11:20:44

You can get SMP from the business, so 6 weeks at 90% salary then £136 a week for 36 weeks. The business can then claim back from the gov here and can pay yourself a bonus in qualifying weeks to increase your 6weeks 90% pay however just found this that implies its not worth doing (although I know others who have done it!). Hope that helps a bit!

commsgirl Fri 06-Sep-13 11:24:08

Grey better to get it checked out sooner rather than later. Sounds like physio would be good for you. A book list sounds like a good idea, maybe a thread on FB?

Pram I imagine Joan wears a cardigan and makes endless cups of tea?

It's really useful reading all this debate from those of you who've done it before!

I'm feeling crap today (entirely self-indulgent). I miss my body and my clothes and having normal looking boobs! Going out with a load of DP's friends tomorrow and I've got absolutely nothing to wear. And now I feel guilty for moaning.

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 11:39:47

I hope somebody answers your question grey because I have the same one and I'm really confused.

I only incorporated my LTD company a few months ago and are just about to start trading. We are going to make peanuts for the first few months so I'm not really sure what to do.

Based on my employment history for the past few years I should be entitled to MA from the Government, but I can't claim that if I'm self employed.

It seems silly though. Because I could literally make no money over the next few months, but because I'm trying to, I'm not entitled to anything.

I can't pay myself SMP from the business and then claim it back because I haven't made any yet. angry

PainAuxRaisins Fri 06-Sep-13 12:05:09

Hello - I'm still here (but fell off the stats list....probably due to the fact I only posted once on the last thread - really struggling to keep up!). 12 week scan next Thurs so hopefully after that I'll have more energy (will the fatigue ever end??). Re 'the debate' - I'm of the 'stick em in a sling and get on with life' variety rather than 'sorry I can't meet you today because x always naps between 1 & 3 and I can't leave the house' (I have known mothers who virtually imprisoned themselves during mat leave through their determination to follow the GF method to the letter). As with all things, a healthy balance between the various methods probably works the best. Pick and choose the elements that suit you and your baby.

MummyPig24 Fri 06-Sep-13 12:09:51

Wow another new thread!

Just had my letter through for my next scan, 2nd November when I will be 21 weeks.

Feeling shite today, really tired and pukey. The kids are going to the in laws tonight for a sleepover. They haven't been for 3 years and they are so, so excited! I'm excited too to go out with dh and remember that we are actual people not just parents.

You wouldn't have a big ol' list of how you wanted your future partner to live his life day to day before you had even met him, so why would you with a baby? They aren't just animatronic potatoes (even though they look like them) - they do all have their own personalities you know! Getting to know them and finding out what they like is NOT the same as letting them trample you into the ground.

Well said rosyryan. You can't shoe-horn every baby into the same routine. of course structure and routine are important but I say make your own with your own baby, rather than following a rigid formula devised by someone who doesn't know you or your baby.

Grey, get the doc so sort you out. You shouldn't have to just put up with the pain.

mimili Fri 06-Sep-13 12:23:50

Oh wow. Thread 7. I havent read most of thread 6 yet! I do try and check in daily read a couple of posts and then usually fall asleep!

My due date has moved forward, it's now the 16th. We've told most people we wanted to know. It's been so exciting. Although I am telling people as and when where as DH has gone crazy telling everyone and anyone! It's been four days, and I keep looking at my scan picture every day... this kid has long legs!

Random thought... Hopefully most of us will have our babies just in time for Mothers day 2014! (30th March)

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 12:40:04

Oh Mimili I hadn't even thought of that!

I can't wait to be spending my first ever mothers day with a gorgeous new baby smile

Comms, I have fallen in love with Joan. She is ace. She does make endless brews but she is also very wise about love, marriage, babies, and bastards. The police came into the shop today accompanied by the landlord of the drug addicts of the flat above the shop. They are clearly growing cannabis up there and the whole place stinks (I even smell it down the street as I am approaching the shop). The coppers came in to see how strong the smell is and they were in agreement that the tenants are not merely smoking the stuff. I hate weed-smokers. They're selfish, lazy and shit in bed (well, they are from my experience grin)

Hottie, I'm so excited to be a mummy next year! I am so thankful that this will be my last Christmas as a childless hag.

I'm sorry that Gina Ford has caused such consternation among some of you. I have been made to feel like a silly naive twat, if I'm honest. But that's okay, 'coz i iz thick-skinned, innit smile

Pram, I'm sure no-one intended to make you feel that way. It's not about you, just that some of us have strong feeling about Gina Ford and her methods. The subject has always evoked strong opinions on this site, as you know. There's nowt wrong with a bit of debate. We can probably all learn something from it.

PiratesMam Fri 06-Sep-13 13:18:45

Yeah I don't think anyone has disagreed with the basic principle of a routine. Like I said, she's hardly the Founder Of The Lunch Time Nap! I think it's more that from some people's experience, it can feel like a personal failure if you can't follow the book to the letter so I think what most people are saying is don't set your expectations too high, just use what bits work for you and your baby and ditch the bits that don't. No-one wants a high-needs, whingey, colicky baby but sometimes that's just what the stork dumps on your lap! grin

Just to wade into the whole parenting debate, and I've no idea what "method" I will lean towards yet, my best mate used GF with her first (10 months old) and it worked for her. He was sleeping 7-7 by 6 weeks old so she's a big advocate of "routine". She did say, however, that she wishes she'd been a bit more relaxed about nap times in the beginning to allow herself a bit more freedom. She acknowledged that it would be far harder to follow if breast feeding (she had to bottle feed as after a week in SCBU her little boy refused the boob).

I'll admit I like the idea of a routine for baby, but that's because I'm a routine kind of person and find things easier if I have a sweet way of doing things. Some people call me a control freak grin However, I understand that babies are all different and you need some flexibility in your approach.

April13 Fri 06-Sep-13 13:42:39

Not been onfor a few day, been ill and generally just feeling sorry for myself, so have just spent the morning in work reading the previous posts really should do work though. Quite a few conversations/topics, I would have commented on, but given they are all finished and few days old, I shall reamin silent for once in my life

Glad all the scans etc have went ok!

On the whole GF debate......I have no idea what my parenting skills/routine will be like and have never heard of Big Gina, I do however think, that my the first few months weeks of my baby being in the real world will be solely focussed on trying to keep the child clean and fed and changed in a timely fashion without me fucking up, which may be a challenge in itself wink. To say I am shitting myself is probably an understatement smile

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 13:42:51

My sister was very routine-y and it was a right pain in the arse. By the time we were ready to go out it was too late because we wouldn't be back in time for the nap. We never got anything done.

I can't imagine not demand feeding. It would feel too cruel denying a hungry baby. But I'm the first to admit that I don't know the first think about it!

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 13:45:20

I'm thinking the same April. I've heard the first month is a total blur and I can believe it. We'll just be trying to keep the kid clean & fed I think.

Slings: My DH is well keen on getting one. He thinks we don't need a pram because he will just carry it everywhere in the sling.

MummyPig24 Fri 06-Sep-13 13:47:43

I have no routine plans, I will just see what happens. I may be desperate for routine after a few weeks but I've found that the others just fell into their own routine.

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 13:51:41

It doesn't matter if they are old topics April comment away!

I've loved reading everybody's different views on these subjects. Growing up I always felt as if I was bit of a hindrance and an inconvenience. My DM was a major narcissist and would revel in my failures and only celebrate my successes if she could take the credit for them.

That's why attachment parenting appeals to me. I suppose I'm also kind of worried that I might have my mothers selfish and self-absorbed streak somewhere and totally focusing on the baby's wants and needs will stop it from rearing it's ugly head.

No-one is advocating 'denying a hungry baby' <rolls eyes>

Hottie, it's interesting how we try to shape our lives in ways which don't mirror our parent's more freaky traits, isn't it? I am keenly aware of my past mental health issues which makes me worried about the potential impact of a velcro baby who won't sleep through the night.

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 13:58:12

Just saying I'd probably feed it when it wants feeding.

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 14:02:19

Tis Pram. I'm envious of those people who had great parents and can just copy what they did grin

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 14:04:23

Velcro baby and not sleeping through the night aren't necessarily connected Pram. Also everyone please make sure that the men are doing their fair share even once back at work and even if you're breastfeeding! Baby wakes for a feed at 6am, no reason why you can't feed in bed then let DH entertain baby for an hour while you doze - he can get ready while looking after the little one!! We also have a lie in one day each at the weekends still - habit we got into to recover from early mornings with DS and it still works well for us!

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 14:06:26

I've already told DH that if I do the first 9 months he can do the next 9grin

Pram, they'll all sleep through the night eventually.

I remember when DS1 was a newborn and when he cried in the night for a feed I didn't mind at all. It was a case of a quick feed on the boob and straight back to sleep. it was as he got older that sleep became an issue. He was actually sleeping through until he was weaned then it all went a bit wrong, probably because he wasn't getting enough calories from replacing milk with pureed vegetables.
I'd be open to using some "hungry baby" formula at night if it would help this baby sleep. But we'll just have to wait and see what happens and what kind of baby I get. I feel like as I've had two relatively easy babies (no extended crying, no colic) that it may be my turn to get a screamer :/

Rock, XP was naturally an early bird so I felt no guilt at letting him take the baby in the morning while I slept in, especially if I'd been up in the night. And it was nice for him to have that daddy and baby time. He was always really hands-on from the very beginning, which is the way it should be.

Hottie, I suspect those 'perfect parents' are actually swingers, terrorists or Satanists.

Lyra, Gina Hindley Ford recommends a bottle (of either expressed milk or formula) for the late feed by the time baby is two weeks old. She reckons this is the best way of ensuring baby is satisfied and full enough to sleep the night. She does recognise the difficulty in knowing quite how much baby has taken from a breast feed and if he doesn't feed well and proper at that 11pm feed then sleeping through won't follow either.

I do like the idea of introducing a bottle early so that baby will allow dad to feed him. I also won't be breastfeeding for more than two or three months as we hope to start fertility treatment for another baby hmm

MummyPig24 Fri 06-Sep-13 14:23:42

Is it not recommended to have fertility treatment whilst breastfeeding because of the drugs you have to take?

I just know that I will feed the baby when it cries, hopefully it will sleep in the crib next to our bed, and I will retain some sanity. Who knows if that's actually going to happen though?!

MummyPig24 Fri 06-Sep-13 14:24:40

I did use the dream feed technique with dd and I felt it helped, she would then sleep till around 4.

Pram, I'd definitely recommend getting the baby used to a teat quite early so he or she is happy with either. If you leave it too long the baby might refuse to ever feed from a bottle.
Breastfeeding won't necessarily stop you becoming pregnant a second time. I got pregnant with DS2 while still BFing DS1 (although not exclusively by that point). Also my periods returned exactly a month after giving birth, which seemed very unfair. I'd hoped to dodge them for a year at least.

Mummy, my two both slept in a Moses basket next to the bed. When they cried for a feed I'd lift them put without even needing to get up, latch them on and when they were done, put them back. I think I was half asleep through the whole process grin But sometimes I'd wake up to find the baby still there in the bed because I'd dropped off while feeding.

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 14:30:58

Oh that's interesting Lyra. So I can breastfeed and also express into a bottle so that DP can have a go at feeding the baby?

Thanks, Lyra.

Mummy, yes I would be on fertility drugs which would not suit a breastfeeding baby.

Here you all are!

Quite some debate going on here. I must say that I have no intention of any routine I the first few weeks. I have never had a baby so will be on a massive learning curves it is, without stressing about routines.

Though I am all for routines, my mums advice was 'baby falls into your routine, not the other way round'. Which makes sense to me. No, I don't want a baby that can't ever be away from me, but I also don't want to be a prisoner to set nap times.

Unfortunately, once MrM is back at work, I think I will get little help at night. He works shifts and literally would not cope with no sleep <sigh>

Prammy I can't believe you're thinking of starting treatment so soon after birth. You're so brave. I couldn't imagine going through all of this again with a newborn. Hats off to you lovely smile

Hotcross, absolutely. You may find you don't have enough milk to feed and express at first, but your body will make the amount of milk your baby and expressing needs demand eventually. It may take a little time to build up though. Basically, the more you feed, the more you make. A lot of women who have trouble making enough milk initially will partly bottle feed, which in turn leads to their body producing less milk. Better to feed often so your body recognises the need to produce extra milk. Others have milk in abundance from day 1. Does that make sense?

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 14:43:38

It does! I'm so happy. I really want to breastfeed, the only downside for me would be that DP wouldn't get to have that experience of feeding the baby.

I'm honestly learning so many things since I've became pregnant, they should teach you some of this stuff at school!

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 14:44:23

I meant to say - but now he can feed them!

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 14:55:28

Yeah, I like the idea of expressing so DH can feed too (and rather importantly - he does too). But I've heard so much conflicting advice about when to introduce a bottle. Too soon and they get 'nipple confusion', too late and it's too late. I wonder if they'll invent hormone injections for men so they can produce milk too...

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 14:58:28

I definitely second the advice about getting the odd bottle feed in so you can have a long bath or go for a hair cut whatever.

We gave DD one bottle a night when I had a bath, it meant DP could feed her and have DD fall asleep on him, which he loved. But the annoying health care person insisted it would cause nipple confusion so we stopped.

When I returned to work DD refuse to take a bottle at all, and would scream all day until I could come home and breast feed her - eventually we moved her onto a doidy cup - with a lot of help from us and mess - but it was all she would take

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 15:05:08

On the breastfeeding front, just one bit of advice to remember (which applies to every aspect of pregnancy and motherhood)...

Everyone is different, some people have better eyesight, better hearing or are better athletically or academically, as with labor, child birth and breastfeeding, we're all different, some of us will find certain things very easy, others will find aspects physically impossible, and the same with your baby, some will hold their head up sooner, some will sleep through from birth, some will cluster feed

Don't get hung up on what you or your baby can and cant do

commsgirl Fri 06-Sep-13 15:05:18

Nipple confusion?? Babies are a minefield!

greymoose Fri 06-Sep-13 15:11:02

hot cross I'm going to bite the bullet and speak to the accountant next week so will let you know what they say then too!

comms ill start a book thread on the fb

was anyone else wanting the join the fb? xx

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 15:30:08

Comms the latch on the breast is different to the latch on a bottle, apparently a bottle latch is an easier latch so the baby can become lazy and then not be able to feed from the breast.

mimili Fri 06-Sep-13 15:38:42

Grey I haven't joined the Fbook group yet but feel more comfortable about doing so now i've had the scan. Could you send me the link/details and I'll do it at some point this weekend. When I can get on to a laptop.

greymoose Fri 06-Sep-13 15:43:47

hi mimili i'll pm you the details now - good job you said before i went out for dinner as I'm going for sushi so may not be around afterwards wink

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 15:45:21

Hi ladies, is there room for one more? I had my scan this week and EDD is 15th March. I now feel I'm pregnant (like the nausea isn't enough of a reminder) and need the company if other hormonal, sicky women as I seem to have become allergic to DH confused

mimili Fri 06-Sep-13 15:46:57

Thanks Grey Hope you enjoy/survive the sushi!!

x0gawjus0x Fri 06-Sep-13 15:48:12

Haha all this talk about baby routines im only 14 weeks!! Im not planning/buying anything untill 20w scan just cause if somethin did go wrong (im sure it wont) id be even more heartbroken but thats just mee infact i dont feel pregnant today lol sad me and oh had a huge argument last night after he come back in from work and ended up storming out then coming back 5 mins later (lol) to start on me again hes being rediculous on a good note i feel alot better and went out for the first time in 10 days today!

Had a shitty phonecall with employer, had ago about me being off for 8 days (despite having dr note) and said to me 'just because your pregnant you think your untouchable well your not' etc etc had to appologise ten times for her to give me somw shifts next week im sure shes not allowed to say things or threaten me when ive got a dr note? Everythings going wrong at the mo and so scared of it having an effect on bubba sad xx

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 15:55:58

gawjus - she's definitely not allowed. Tell her if she carries on, you'll quit and immediately start court proceedings for harassment, discrimination and constructive dismissal. Your boss sounds like a twat. Am I right in guessing it's not a large national business?

x0gawjus0x Fri 06-Sep-13 15:57:37

Its a private nursing home :/ but i have no proof of what she said because it was over the phone ahe was so horrible i was nearly crying!! I had to practically beg for her to not cancel my shifts ..xx

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 15:57:56

gaw How long have you been with DP for?

She sounds like a right bitch Gawj. She can't threaten you like that.

MTBMummy Fri 06-Sep-13 16:04:18

Welcome BNMum and congrats on your scan - sorry that you're one of us who is still suffering with morning sickness

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:06:12

gawjus - and she has no proof that you'll have threatened to leave but it will certainly give her something to think about. A private nursing home seriously can't afford to be taken to court and constructive dismissal claims are often 'their word against mine' but frequently result in settlements as the company is more than aware that the incidents probably did happen and therefore cannot guarantee lack of proof before the proceedings start. Stand up to her, then start keeping a detailed log of her behaviour in regards to what shifts she gives you and of what she says to you...start that lig right now hy writing today's date, the time of the call, approximate duration and a rough account of what she said. x

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 16:11:08

Oh gawj I'm so sorry that the 2 people you really need to be supportive and understanding right now are the 2 people who are behaving so nastily towards you. Why is it so hard for them to understand that growing a miniature person inside you makes you feel like utter shit? No help, but huge sympathy from me.

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 16:11:50

Welcome BNMum! You'll have a job keeping up with this lot!

x0gawjus0x Fri 06-Sep-13 16:24:16

hottie ive been with him 4 years in november, he says and does alot of stupid things then realises after a few days of going out and being way from me and says sorry >.<

joll am just writing it now, should i speak to citizens advice? Ugh so anoying really is im not the type who can stand up for myself im such a push over i wish i could just turn around andstand my ground lol thx for youd advice she said theres a letter in the post for me dread to know what that says..

thanks fox everything seems to all be happening now im preg no problems before ;/ x

commsgirl Fri 06-Sep-13 16:24:30

Welcome BN. Sorry you're still feeling sick!

Gaw I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Your boss is definitely not allowed. Try not to let yourself be bullied and I agree with Joll about keeping a record of all conversations like that.

MTB Thanks for clearing that one up! smile

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:28:56

I'd definitely recommend talking to Citizens Advice once the anticipated letter has come through. Make a note of her telling you to expect something...I'd certainly say that telling you that something is on its way is a move designed to make you feel uncomfortable.

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:35:31

Also a quick retort for you should she warn you not to think you're 'untouchable' because you're pregnant...

"You're right, being pregnant does not make me untouchable. Being signed off work by a doctor does. The business wouldn't be protected by insurance if I'm involved in an incident while I'm not supposed to be on the premises due to medical reasons."

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:36:48

I'd then be inclined to add "now fuck off back to your hole and leave me alone you haggard old cow" but I'm a lot more forthright than many people wink

x0gawjus0x Fri 06-Sep-13 16:42:55

Haha I wish I was brave enough!! Its really made me not wanna go in now but i need as much money as poss before babe is here!! Bloody assholes sad

MummyPig24 Fri 06-Sep-13 16:46:08

Welcome BN!

Gaw it sounds like you are having a really tough time.

Re: breastfeeding. I will try and hopefully it will work out. I just hope this baby is not tongue tied like dd was. It was a flipping nightmare. If it is then at least I can insist on it being cut ASAP. I don't want a repeat of bleeding nipples!

Anyway ladies I'm off to drop off the sprogs at the in laws and go on a date with dh! Will catch up tonight some time.

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:49:09

My heart definitely goes out to pregnant women who don't get sick pay sad My employer is very good for it but I'm very lucky.

You're having a horrendous time my love. But it will pass eventually, I promise yoy.

As far as not being able to stand up for yourself is concerned...definitely try to. I was a push over for many years but life hardened me eventually. Standing up to your employer is a good place to start.

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 16:50:23

yoy? I don't know, I try to be supportive and my predictive text fails me!

FoxMulder Fri 06-Sep-13 16:56:36

I just thought you were putting on a Northern Irish accent grin

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 17:14:21

Evening ladies! Thank flip it's Friday! First four days back at school And I'm done for...

Welcome BN I'll sympathise with still feeling rough. I'm on some fairly strong drugs to combat hyperemersis, but still feel nauseas all the time. Had to beg the GP for a repeat perscription today.

Re: routine etc. I have a very good friend who is v committed to attachment parenting. To be honest she is quite boring about it and it makes me want to ignore it totally, however her daughter is the most contented least Velcro-ed baby ever who was very happy to be put down for periods of time and slept through from about 3months. Just as soon as I tell my friend I will be stealing ALL her slings!

Advice also needed, we have been offered my BIL and SIL britax b smart pram. It's two and a half years old and well used. New it would have cost £650 but they got it for £250. They are very hard up (as are we, but the couldn't come for lunch last weekend as no money for petrol!)and want some money for pram, fair enough. how much would be reasonable to offer them given what they paid etc??

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 17:19:33

They've had it for 2.5 years or it's been being used for 2.5 years total? Is it actually the pram you want? What was your original pram budget?

Personally, I'd give no more than 150...simply because you can get a cheap travel system brand new for not much more.

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 17:22:00

That's about what i was thinking jol! I think they stopped using it about nine months ago!

It's a good pram and to be honest we are so broke (with incomplete house - thanks cowboy builders) that we have no real budget for anything...

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 17:29:08

If they got it second hand and have had it for 2 years unless it is in really, really good nick I wouldn't give more that £100.

Ask them how much they would put it on sale for if they put it on Gumtree.

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 17:29:15

If you're that broke hun, why not keep your eyes peeled on freecycle for one? They do get put on there! Just make sure you tell the person giving that you're expecting...gives them reassurance that you're not just going to sell it on.

Welcome, BN.

Gawj, what a shitter of a time you're going through, I'm so sorry. Joll's advice is brilliant - do use it.

My mum is trying to buy me a pram 'with everything included' from a friend of a friend of a friend who is selling it. It is a Quinny pram, which I have never heard of - let a lone pushed or tried out - and I'm afraid I ended up snapping at mum to stop wittering about prams which I've never heard off when I'm under pressure to find a job, move house and have relationship counselling (tomorrow). Have I done the wrong thing? Would you accept any pram if it was a gift from your mum?

Becca, I, personally, wouldn't offer more than £100.

lumpylumps Fri 06-Sep-13 17:59:38

Oh my God, seriously, do you lot ever stop talking???

Bit late as the debate seems to be done but GF, I do relaxed routine. From the day they were both born my two have had a bedtime, bath bottle bed. Moses basket in the room for the 1st couple of months. I was strict with feeds but had to adapt a bit cos if I tried 4hrs with ds1 I found myself spending the last 45mins putting his dummy in trying to keep him going. Changed it to 3 hrs and problem solved. Did a dream feed and he was fine. He fitted into our life.
Ds2 was slightly different, still did 3 hours but wouldn't take the dream feed. Didn't need it. Used a sling with him cos it was easier and he's not clingy.

GF does have good theories but as you've all said, you need to adapt them slightly for each child but I'm a strong believer in routine. It's never too early to stArt and its meant that I've been able to stay organised and have a life. The kids know where they are and don't argue.

Please can I join fbook??

Feeling proper shitty today, works crap, traffics crap, other drivers are all twats and I'm sick of mil sending me stupid name suggestions. Grrrr!!!

Jolls (and anyone else with huge buzzwams), I am having a problem between my breasts. I have developed a rash there from them both being squashed together in these maternity bras and last night I howled as I applied witch hazle. I have heard terrible stories of poor women developing fungus-like shit between or under their breasts and I'm scared that's what this is likely to become. I can't think of any solution to separating my tits. Can anyone help?

greymoose Fri 06-Sep-13 18:30:00

lumpy just messaged you about fb

you'll all be glad to know I'm back from sushi and alive.

oh gaw thats so annoying, i would make a log of events also - perhaps even speak to citizens advice bereau and get the ball rolling and if you state they've threatened you with a letter etc it will make it a lot less 'he said she said' when it does turn up because it's almost proof - but i have no idea about these situations really tbh!

ooh pram the counselling, hope it goes well!!

becca id probably also say £100

Pram, can you go braless at night to get some air circulating?

Becca, if it's that we'll used I'd offer £100 max. If you would rather have a new one, Mothercare is doing a scheme where you order your stuff, set your delivery date for nearer the birth and pay it off bit by bit in between. They have some decent travel systems that don't cost the earth.

Pram, I don't like Quinnys. They're an odd shape. It's nice that your mum wants to help but you have to be the one to choose as you're the one who'll be pushing it every day.

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 18:40:15

Pram - topless and braless for large chunks of the day so that they stay separate! Let the area dry and breathe. Apply a very light moisturiser if it then cracks. If it doesn't clear up, it's off to the quacks to see if he'll prescribe you a cream called Daktacort. If he won't because of your upduffed status, he should be able to provide you with an alternative. Hope that helps. x

Thanks, Lyra. How late can I leave it to look at prams, taking into account waiting lists etc? I want to be able to say to anyone in RL who starts rabbiting on about the bastard things, 'shut it, I'm road-testing in January' or whatever.

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 18:43:00

Also, mummy dearest, although trying to help, doesn't get to pick the pram. It needs to be suitable for your life style rather than hers. My mum was hoping to get me a winnie the pooh travel system. I've 'politely' declined, showed her the one I want and have offered to pay the difference if cost is the issue.

Prammy how about some suodocreme in between at night too? Luckily I'm not having that trouble despite massive boobs.

My SIL had a Quinny. She loved it, but MrM and I hated pushing it when we looked after her. What you also need to remember Pram is you're both tall, so need to find a pram that has an extendable handle, which a lot of them don't.

lumpylumps Fri 06-Sep-13 19:03:43

pram can you tuck a piece of gauze (get it from the chemist) between?? That's what we do with patients. Also wash and dry thoroughly twice a day. Not implying you don't wash but I know I don't always dry properly!!!

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 19:04:48

"Not implying you don't wash"! grin

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 19:15:21

I don't like going to bed naked, but anything with a waistband is annoying me at the mo and nighties in the shops seem to be too short and clingy.

Old ladies have the right idea.

I was in the charity shop today and I saw one of those long cotton nightdresses they wear.

I gave it a wash because somebody may have died in it and put it on just now. Tis a revelation! I feel like somebody from the 18th century, and it even has little blue roses stitched on to it grin

Teddybear4 Fri 06-Sep-13 19:22:55

Didn't mean to offend Pram. You'll find the same rules apply to discussions of routines as do to politics and religion.

Loving the buggy chat. I'm having a Bug Bee. It's the only thing that fits in the car. DD and I spent a good couple of hours at our local baby shop today. The shop assistant wedged a couple if others in but frankly, I'm not up for a buggy battle (mostly involving the removal of wheels from what I could tell) while the other two kill each other in the back or play chicken in the road.

Off to a baby shower tonight. Is it wrong to hope someone throws one for me this time? I definitely can't request someone to can I?

Teddybear4 Fri 06-Sep-13 19:24:04

Didn't mean to offend Pram. You'll find the same rules apply to discussions of routines as do to politics and religion.

Loving the buggy chat. I'm having a Bug Bee. It's the only thing that fits in the car. DD and I spent a good couple of hours at our local baby shop today. The shop assistant wedged a couple if others in but frankly, I'm not up for a buggy battle (mostly involving the removal of wheels from what I could tell) while the other two kill each other in the back or play chicken in the road.

Off to a baby shower tonight. Is it wrong to hope someone throws one for me this time? I definitely can't request someone to can I?

RaspberrysAndIcecream Fri 06-Sep-13 19:26:46

Place marking coz I'm knackered and can't process anything tonight. My brain aches!!

I've skimmed through, who's boss was being a bitch - does she call ur landline or mobile? If she calls ur landline can u record the call with ur mobile? Then u have solid proof.

Hope you're all ok - ill be back tomorrow when I can contribute something helpful and not take 5 mins to form a sentence. Lol!!

Oh, I told my boss today at school - I got a hug and told to take it easy!! It's not easy to take it easy in a class of reception children!!

Sarahb8990 Fri 06-Sep-13 19:39:08

Just marking my place

Today I had complete baby brain. Went to open the car window and opened the door instead at 40mph! Think it's time to start locking my self in the car haha!

SoSurprised Fri 06-Sep-13 19:44:19

BNMum welcome aboard

Any more scans today?

lumpylumps Fri 06-Sep-13 19:45:34

Does latte with Bailey's count as alcohol? Or does the boiling water get rid (pretty sure I know the answer but humour me!!)

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 19:46:55

Alcohol! But a unit's worth should be ok shouldn't it?

Wonder77 Fri 06-Sep-13 19:56:03

Beccadugs- ditto. Mybclothes don't fit and I am lying awake at over finances -this is our 3rd..

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 20:00:42

Thanks for all the pram advice!

jol shamefully I can't seem to join any of the free cycle local groups. To be honest, I'd rather have my nieces gak on a second hand pram (it was new --off the back of a lorry--) when they got it!

I will see what they think of the offer.

Re sweaty tits, bit of talc can help once the rash clears up.

Wonder77 Fri 06-Sep-13 20:04:00

Wow. I'm nowhere near thinking about routines . Just wondering why I feel so sick and look so big at only 11 weeks!! ( but it is no. 3!)

Wonder, who are you? Are you new and if so, welcome smile

Jolls & Maybs thank you so much for the pram/mum advice. Mum described me as having an 'attitude' and I really was starting to wonder if I was being unreasonable, but I am loathe to agree to a mum-bought pram that I've never heard of, pushed or seen!

Thanks, also, for fungal tit advice. It's really not so bad at the moment but I've always prided myself on my pert (and natural!) knockers and don't fancy scabby tits. Sudocrem is a great idea, so is the gauze and, Marbie, what time do you take your bra off at night? <chatty>

Hottie, I want one of your Edwardian nighties! I've always wanted to waft around fabulously in summat like this

Is 'prided' a word? confused

Coolhand Fri 06-Sep-13 20:19:12

Gawjus hope you're doing ok.

Hotcross I am actually envying that nightie right now.

So pleased it's Fri night because it means I've no work to sit and do for tomorrow. DH is away, so my plan is sit on sofa in pjs and watch Tuesday's Bake off, then book. Sheer bliss. Should probably do 10 mins on exercise bike at some point but will see how we go!

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 20:25:02

Pram prided is a word <knowing teacher face>

I'm sorry to come to you for more advice but I really need some honesty as to whether I am being unreasonable: You all know how skint th'usband and I are (thanks to his gambling) and that we are having to move any time now due to house being demolished etc. Well, it is his son's eighth birthday next weekend and DH is insisting he will be buying him a bike at a cost of £100. Now, I know £100 for an eight year-old's birthday will not seem a lot of money to most of you and I am categorically not a tight arse when it comes to gifting. However, I feel resentful of the fact that DH is eager to spend that kind of money when he has gambled so frivolously for over a year and hence left us nothing for baby thus far. We don't have a stick of furniture to take to the new house (no sofa, no bed, no fridge; nothing). Am I being unreasonable to think his little boy can fuck off and should have to suffer like me and my baby? DH has a fucking cheek spending this amount at a time like this?

Please be as honest and blunt as you need to be. Fanks.

P.s..I think DH feels obliged to spend this particular amount as the boy's mother is spending £75 on his party (his mother has a lot more money than us).

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 20:29:28

It's not as sexy as that one pram.

It's nearly identical to this bad boy, apart from it has little fabric roses on it grin


BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 20:30:44

Thanks for the welcome ladies and sorry it's taken so long to reply. After having a lovely morning out and about with DS he seemed to spend the entire afternoon marking his territory and leaving little puddles everywhere which really pissed me off!

Medication! You have my upmost sympathy becca, i now feel like a complete fraud moaning about my morning sickness.

I looked at getting a Quinny with DS and can't for the life of me remember why we didn't get one but they seem decent enough. I can't remember everyone's name but if you are thinking of having 2 close in age pram? I would seriously look at a pushchair that you can also convert into a double when needed e.g phil and ted (I'm sure there's other about too).

Ebay is good for picking up bargain and also to give you an idea of secondhand prices becca

This is turning into an essay but I also feel I should add that I loved GF with DS. We 'freestyled' it for a couple of weeks and this seemed to turn into a couple of days of DS thinking day was night and vice versa so I turned to GF and hey presto a 'contented baby', he was EBF and we never had any issues with the feeding times (but she does say feed them if they need it outside of her feed times). I also found it liberating to have the routine, it was easy to make plans and easy to go to groups/activities. Like everything you do have to apply some common sense and i understand its not to everyone's taste.

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 20:32:41

Seriously ladies pg 6 already?! Tee hee!

Lots of discussion - phew I'm exhausted just trying to keep up!

Pram-wise we have a battered MacClaren XP stroller which reclined which should hopefully do the job for this one, thou am wondering if will need to buy a double still as DS is not a fan of walking long distances, so may need one... hmmmm. Am wondering about getting a baby carrier - but not one you tie up as am rubbish at doing knots, and can just see baby falling out or getting stuck totally after a knot being done up too tight! grin Thanks for the link... babybrain as to whom posted... on baby carriers had a good look online last night and did a bit of pondering.

Diverting off course again... all you 1st timers might be worth noting that travel systems can be awkward and bulky to store/use. Most people I knew switch from those to strollers type fairly quickly.

Am still very tired (have headache tonight) and nausea. Also have weird taste in my mouth - can't explain it. Boobs are really tender and my tummy tender too. sad

Oh and hello to all our new mummies that have joined us over the last couple of days! smile

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 20:32:57

Pram You could spend half of that and still get a really good present that an 8 year old would love. In your situation that £100 would be much better spent on something else.

Why doesn't your DP combine his giving of whatever gift you choose with doing something fun (and cheap) with his son. Like he could make a treasure hunt with a few pound shop gifts and things like that, and then maybe spend £40 on the actual present itself.

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 20:38:26

Has anyone used a buggy board instead of getting a double pushchair?

I agree with hot re: the birthday present. Some cheap, smaller toys and a cheaper main gift or a cheaper bike. I don't think you are being unreasonable pram and it shouldn't be a competition on who spent the most money.

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 20:39:16

Pram - why does DS need a bike at £100? Can your OH not get one cheaper or 2nd hand for same price? Could anyone else in the family help to chip in with cost such as Grandparents? Kids don't really care about cost as long as it looks nice and they can use it.

By the way you're not being a tight arse regarding cost - I would never spend that much on a child, but know that others do. It's about being realistic about what you have and can afford.

When are you moving? Can you access any sources like charities or anything to help with buying stuff for new place?

Make sure you check out this...(( https://www.gov.uk/sure-start-maternity-grant/overview)) as you may be entitled to get stuff for baby, just don't let your OH spend it on silly stuff! smile

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 20:39:46
x0gawjus0x Fri 06-Sep-13 20:41:02

Thanks cool And pram xxx

pram actually i think 100 pound is alot for an 8 year old?? I spose people are growing up quicker and everything costs more but surely even half of that would be enough? I would be very anoyed especially with what hes left you both with... Xx

x0gawjus0x Fri 06-Sep-13 20:42:21

Ps. Am i right in thinking the grant is only for people on some kind of benefits? X

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 20:44:54

Says on the site...

You usually qualify for the grant if:

you’ve no other children - unless you’re expecting a multiple birth (eg twins)

you get certain benefits

You must claim the grant within 11 weeks of expecting the baby or within 3 months after the birth.

BN, thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it.

Hottie, the battle I have is that I know full well that this little boy will have been told weeks ago that his daddy is buying him a bike (his mother is a nightmare for telling DH what he must buy for their son months in advance and then raising the little boy's hopes). I hate that these financial plans have been put in place without any discussion with me (why would there be? It's DH's money - he works and I do not) when our financial difficulties are pressing on all sides. AIBU to think DH should have said ages ago that, due to our circumstances (again - all his fault), the boy will have to wait until Christmas for a bike?

Bionic, thanks very much for your take on the situation (you, too, Gawj). DH's parents have disowned him a long time ago so no help there. I have just told him: 'I unhappy that you are considering spending £100 on Oliver when we are in these financial straits. Can we talk about this some more? Does it have to be £100? Does he have to have a bike right now?'. He replied: 'Pram, he's having a bike; I've told him I'm buying him a bike and that's the end of it. If it costs £100 then that's what it costs.' My retort: 'You're a selfish bastard at the end of the day, aren't you? You should never have told that boy to expect a bike for his birthday when you've been gambling more than £200 a fucking month for a year and we have fuck all for the new house or this baby.'

His parting shot as he left for a fag: 'Go and take an extra tablet, for fuck's sake. The boy is having a bike' sad

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 20:53:01

BN I was wondering about a buggy board but was thinking it would make you crouch further over pram and wouldn't be good on the back. Also I have read some reviews which says it has damaged the pram due to extra weight on back. Might be worth looking into more?

The present dilemma - it's a tricky one. I was going to ask if the boy knows to expect a bike. If he does, that makes it much harder as he'll be disappointed through no fault of his own. But it's an awful lot to spend given the circumstances so maybe DH should explain that he wanted to buy a bike but now can't afford it and get him something else he'd be equally delighted with. I think DH needs to concentrate his efforts on providing a home for you and your baby, Pram. The boy's mother has money so he's not going to be deprived of anything important.

Sorry, I don't seem to be able to post without writing an essay blush

I see I'm a bit late. Ok, if the boy MUST have a bike, he can have one that costs considerably less than £100. DS1's first bike cost £30 second-hand and he loved it. It was in good nick, just outgrown by the previous owner. Sadly, someone stole it from our driveway last year.

HotCrossPun Fri 06-Sep-13 20:58:45

Well can he not just buy a bike that doesn't cost £100?

*Disclaimer, I have no idea how much these things cost!

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 20:59:48

Pram - ebay or look in ads in paper for 2nd hand bikes? Or see if anyone you know has one that their child has just outgrown or just sitting in shed?

Just had a Skype video chat with DP at last (he hasn't had good wifi till now). He's looking really tanned and gorgeous. God, I miss him. Only 10 long days to go...

If anyone's watching Celeb Masterchef, don't tell me who won. I'm watching yesterday's on iPlayer.

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 21:08:24

I've also read mixed reviews bionic but I'm not sure i would get my money's worth out of a double. DS will have just gone 3 when #2 arrives and he's pretty happy to walk, I'm just not sure what his stamina will be like at that age and I don't fancy trying to carry him and push the pushchair. Anyone know if it's easy to convert an Icandy peach into a double?

Men can be total dickheads sometimes pram. I wouldn't waste my breath trying to change his mind but would ask "what type/brand of bike" he's going to get then search high and low for the cheapest option and make sure he spends whatever is left of the £100 budget on the baby or the house.

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 21:14:05

Oh pram it's so tough. It might be difficult to raise the subject again, but I think a cheaper bike is a good idea.

I am having really bad pain on left hand abdomen. Agony whenever I move. Should I see GP on Monday? Would a "belly band" help at all does anyone think?!

PiratesMam Fri 06-Sep-13 21:15:30

BNmum I'm just jumping in quickly to say have to considered a buggy board? If your older one will be nearly 3 when new one comes then I don't think you'll get much use from a double buggy - I had one for my 21 month age gap which I used for a year but not much past when older one was 3, it was so cumbersome I couldn't wait to get rid of it! Mind you it did the job - was the Phil and Teds Vibe 2 (how dodgy does that sound).

My DD will be nearly 3 when baby comes and I'm totes avoiding double buggy confidently because she scoots everywhere already like a tiny pavement hooligan.

PiratesMam Fri 06-Sep-13 21:19:48

Oh and to answer the question properly, whilst DS still got tired, we used the buggy board and he loved it. You do have to step back a bit but I much preferred it to double buggy. When he turned 3 I wanted to start encouraging him to walk/scoot as much as possible for exercise, and you can hook the board up easily up the back of the buggy when you are not using it. It didn't do any damage to my maclaren smile

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 21:22:54

Have you used a buggy board pirates? I'd much prefer this option but I've read mixed reviews about them. Do many places stock them? I'm just wondering I'd I could take the pushchair to somewhere like mothercare and 'test drive' one?

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 21:24:13

I'm too slow at typing and see you have answered my questions, what brand did you use or was it a scooter hat also doubles as a buggy board?

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 21:28:19

That's useful to know Pirates about buggy board.

Am thinking maybe get a baby carrier for baby as DS will be almost 3 & 1/2yrs, so could use current pram if needed. He is starting to walk longer distances, but am worried he would flag on longer trips.

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 21:30:19

Have read you can get a seat that attached to side of single pram, but not sure how steady those would be? Anyone know?

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 21:31:15

Becca - how long have you had pain? Is it a sharp pain or what?

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 21:31:59

BN there will be 3 years between my DC's when this one arrives and I'm getting a buggy board, will also have sling so if DS wants to go in the pram I can pop baby into the sling. From what I've learned you're better off getting a brand's own buggy board to match the pram, as otherwise the warranty will be void. Icandy aren't suitable for buggy boards though, can make the chassis buckle. Re making the Peach a double its easy although if its the Peach 1 you may struggle to buy the blossom kit in the same colour as your pram as its a while now since it was discontinued. It's also very heavy with 2 kids in - it was what I was looking at when I was last pregnant but sadly miscarried, I'm not just a complete geek!

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 21:33:11

Bionic think its a buggy pod you mean, but no idea about them as the paths where I live aren't wide enough for side by side prams so I discounted them fairly quickly!

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 21:42:06

Bionic I've had it, gradually getting worse, for the last 7/8 weeks. EPU suggested it is muscular/round ligament pain/basically where unfazed.

Has for really bad today after I walked for 15 mins carrying two laptops (yes I am an arse!)

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 21:43:33

Sorry to hear of your loss rockchick and thank you for the words of advice. I would imagine I have got the peach 1 (bought jan 2011) so the conversion kit doesn't sound promising and I'm totally knackered if buggy board doesn't work with them sad.

I've also considered the sling and I'll have to do more research on this. I bought a moby for DS and it was the biggest waste of money (thankfully I sold it on ebay and recouped some costs). I have petite frame and struggled to fasten it properly without the help of DH which limited its use. DS didn't enjoy it and I felt like he could pop out at any time. I used a babybjorn with him when he was abit older and found it much better, I'll have to see if we still have it.

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 21:43:41

Also, the pain is a dull ache, and not near womb. 3 scans show baby is fine...

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 21:45:03

Yes think that what's it was called thanks! Was thinking perhaps I had imagine it all! grin

BNmum Fri 06-Sep-13 21:45:46

Doesn't sound good becca, would a warm bath and some bed rest help?

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 21:50:20

Rest does help, warm baths not really. I am wondering if it is the start of something like SPD. I say it is abdominal, but I'm not sure if I am identifying it's position very well.

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 21:51:45

Maybe you've overdone it today Becca and agree with BN a warm bath and rest might help.

If it is still bad tomorrow - maybe you should get it checked further?

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 21:58:35

Prammy - I'd personally say 'pick your battles'. This one sounds like it could easily become a very sore subject. And if his son already knows what he's getting, I'd definitely say you're fighting a losing one. I do think he's being thoughtless though. Maybe you can agree that you'll shortly be able to spend an equivalent amount on baby as soon as that kind of cash is available again? Or that while you're both adapting to the idea of parenthood, you'll spend a max of £20 on gifts for anyone from here on in as you need to focus on building your future?

Maybe also a good idea for you both to talk to each other with a bit more tact? Sounds quite narky to me on both sides (and with my relationship, I can be the queen of narky wink )

Brilliant advice, as per usual from you, Jolls. I'm so glad we're going for counselling tomorrow as I feel like we're slowly sliding backwards, you know? I actually hate him tonight <pops more pills> sad

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 22:07:43

Definitely know that feeling! Hopefully tomorrow will be really productive for you both. It's all well and good you bouncing your thoughts off us but if he's not doing his bit too, it would be too difficult. You can't shoulder all the stress.

April13 Fri 06-Sep-13 22:21:45

Becca, I've had really bad pains too, even get them when I go for a pee! I was really bad last week (bu I was moving furniture like an arsehole). Midwife and Dr told me completely normal even though they've made me cry and I'm not a crier, just make sure you rest up and keep going back to Dr if you're not happy.

pram I'm with joll on this one, but I agree £100 is ridiculous for an eight year old and a bike but like hottie I also have no clue about these things!

hottie love the goonie. I stole borrowed something similar from my aunties drawer..... Must say being pregnant hasn't made me the most desirable of women grin

OwlinaTree Fri 06-Sep-13 22:45:58

Hey guys I'm still OK! Not been around much, back at work so busy, and some other stuff too. But hopefully still pg!

Not caught up, hope everyone is OK

Hi, I am still here but lurking really, too much to read to keep up with everyone!
I will try to join in with recentish stuff without offending anyone! Personally, I am not one for strict routines, do what suits you, baby and the rest of the family. For us dh found it impossible to ignore crying! He is an equal parent so it would have been unfair to dictate to him. I am pro bf but it is not easy for many. In my experience nipple confusion was bollocks but equally expressing a feed takes a hell of a lot more time and effort, so you may as well give it direct. I had loads of milk but could only express 3 or 4 oz absolute max at a time. Also nipple shields should be recommended by midwives before you aee at breaking point and I used them very successfully for months so anyone who tries to tell me my supply will be affected next time can feck off! Oops, as you see I have some ishoos about this! As I said a thread or two ago I found our travel system an expensive, bulky mistake and will be getting a loan of something lie flat for the early weeks and buying a maclaren xt as from seeing them in real life, they stand the test of time.

Re the bike, I wouldn't fight that battle. It is kind of nice that he cares about his son and maybe it is partly guilt about being absent. You could try to find some nice ebay ones though. We got dd a great second hand ridgeback for cheaper than a new halfords one and the quality is much better.

Becca and April, hope the pains ease. I was being smug about lack of pg symptoms. Well, now I have the vilest cold ever and I managed to knacker my back in a moment of stupidity. I had to rescue my inconsolable dd from the top of a slide. After the energetic climb up there I thought the slide would be an easier route down. It was, but the end of it was not long enough. I shot off it at high speed and had a two foot drop onto my arse. It was awful, I couldn't move for a minute or two. Lovely friends rallied round and after a dizzy spell I was able to shuffle about and have steadily improved. Gp was nice and reassuring re baby and paracetemol has helped with both cold and back pain! I could have done without a days teaching and a shit commute home today though. A critical road near Leeds was shut this eve!

Aw Fruit, I winced at your slide accident. Hope you're okay.

Thanks, ladies for your replies. I can't sleep but wanted to say I've given my head a shake and remembered how utterly and indescribably grateful I am to be carrying this IVF baby. I've been reminded of the ladies who have left us after losing their babies: Souredstones, Mortified, Holycow, Kat and anyone else who is suffering..I wish you the best for the future and hope you are finding strength and peace.

liberuna Sat 07-Sep-13 00:46:50

Just catching up
Pram-re:mum/pram topic maybe you could suggest you would like to "choose your first pram together"? So you can test it to see if its comfortable before mum gives you this generous gift. This allows her to be excited and involved but still giving you decision making powers.

Re: your partner. I agree you might have to pick your battles. I love your positive mental attitude. Take that energy and ask him " so whats your first purchase to this child going to be?"

Fruit Becca and April hope you guys fare better tomorrow.

liberuna Sat 07-Sep-13 01:00:35

Been in same situation jus recently.
I highly recommend going to citizens advice or join up with a union. They can get a representative to 'speak' on your behalf if you're not up to doing it yourself. But whatever you do, don't let it slide as this not only causes stress to you and mini-Gawjus but the more your boss will manipulate the situation to their advantage.

I had a bully of a boss to the point that left me in tears every time. One day she yes it was a woman said to me " I don't know why you're crying all the time. Are you pregnant?" And that was before I was pregnant!
bitter twisted egomaniac finally got the union involved and they helped every step of the way.
If nothing else it will put the fear of god in them and they'll have to tread lightly around you there after.

SoSurprised Sat 07-Sep-13 03:37:57

Gawjus so sorry your work are being so unsupportive. Great advice on here.

Because that sounds really painful. Hope you feel better soon

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 06:39:50

Thanks for that liberuna thats really helpful im going to make an appointment with cab on tues and try get some help. Thats the trouble with private they try and get away with murder ;/ definately going to take yourself and jolls advice thank you again smile

tmi / out of subject... But me and dp had make up errm dancing? But i was ontop and it really hurt my belly even like leaning forward or back was really pulling on my stomach is it just where ligaments are being pulled after theyve already bern stretching i suppose its just like a pulled muscle? Xx

Re. Prams im still uterlly in love eith bugaboo ber the look and the price as its one of the cheaper 'known' brands xx

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 06:41:16

Ber? I meant to say for lol.

And thankyou suprised xxx

MummyPig24 Sat 07-Sep-13 07:28:39

Gawjus I'm glad you made up. But yes probably stretching ligaments and all of that. Or, did you need a wee? the bladder being Pushed onto the uterus is probably not comfortable. Pregnancy is totally glamorous! I'm sorry your boss is being such a bitch, she can't do that to you. Research your rights and arm yourself with them.

Pram, about the pram, could you and your mum go and look at it and see what you think? It probably feels like she is pushing you into it, but I know you won't let her. As for the bike, well £100 is a lot to spend. Could you suggest to dh that you go to Halfords or wherever together and see what's available and make a decision from there.

Our child free dinner out was lovely. Although I think I made a few pregnancy food faux pas. Am I right in thinkin you can have goats cheese cooked? Cos I did. I ordered my steak well done and it came pink, how I would usually eat it. And I ate it anyway. I will kick myself if I get ill but the likelihood is small, right?!

HotCrossPun Sat 07-Sep-13 07:52:35

Mummy You'll be fine. I can't eat well cooked meat, I've had one steak and one duck breast since I became pregnant, both of them were pink.

As a one off I think it's fine!

Now it's 7am and I want a steak grin

commsgirl Sat 07-Sep-13 08:03:03

Why can't I ever lie in!

Sorry I missed everything last night, it was a tough one. The vets think my puppy has some sort of brain growth/damage which is affecting his use of his back legs sad. He's got to go for a MRI scan next week to determine where/how bad. Luckily he's not in any pain and it's not really affecting his day to day life but it's still so sad and worrying for us.

Gawjus I'm glad you're doing something about work, you really don't deserve to be treated like that. Stomach sounds painful! Everything's more relaxed so it's much easier to stretch/pull something.

Pram Hope counselling goes well and you get what you're hoping out of it. Agree with picking your battles but doesn't mean you're not allowed to be angry! Maybe you could offer to help him find a cheaper bike? And make a date (when you're ready) to go look at prams together with your mum?

Sorry if I've missed anything major!

commsgirl Sat 07-Sep-13 08:05:10

Mummy You'll be fine. Goats cheese cooked is perfectly okay and I wouldn't worry too much about pink meat! Tastes rubbish well done anyway...

OwlinaTree Sat 07-Sep-13 08:12:51

Notice some of you talking a bit about baby routines? I read the secrets of the baby whisperer by Tracey Hogg, that seemed to have some good advice. Seems to be a middle ground between the Gina Ford military precision and letting the baby dictate everything.

MummyPig24 Sat 07-Sep-13 08:31:05

Well I was secretly a bit glad when my steak came as I don't really like it well done but I wanted a slab of meat!

Comms I'm so sorry to hear about your puppy. Can they do anything for him?

So weird with no kids around. Pil are going away in their caravan today so we will pick them up around 10 I guess. Then we need to take ds school shoes back as they gave him a blister after 2 days!

lumpylumps Sat 07-Sep-13 08:48:22

Bit late but pram I'm with the cheaper bike option. Compromise, tell him it's the grown up thing to do!!!!!

Ds2 will be 3 and a half and I was just going to go with pram & stretch wrap, like a Moby but from Victoria the sling lady. Whoever said about having a small frame, I have too, usually a 6/8. Get someone to show you how to tie it and practice. I loved mine. So easy and ds2 loved it. I'm avoiding a buggy board, had one last time and found it made ds1 lazy. He wouldn't get off it hurt my back and ruined the pushchair!!

becca I agree your pain sounds stretchy spd like, especially if it's worse after lifting. Do you have direct access to a pregnancy physio around you??? We can self refer here.

commsgirl Sat 07-Sep-13 09:00:56

Thanks Mummy. It depends what the cause is. Might be something that's easily operable, or it might be something that's safer to leave and he'll just have slightly off kilter legs. Worse case scenario would obviously not be good but just hoping it's one of the other options. It's not currently impacting on his quality of life apart from him being rubbish at getting up and down stairs!

Beccadugs Sat 07-Sep-13 09:10:50

No idea about the pregnancy Physio Lumpy I will look into it.

Will look into it.

Sorry to hear about the dog Comms it's amazing how much you can love them isn't it. I got myself into a real flap about our dog being put out by the baby arriving and how upset I would be.

JK10 Sat 07-Sep-13 09:11:56

Hi everyone! It's taken me ages to catch up! Literally days!! I got on early hrs tues, had scan wed, baby wouldn't get in right position but after lots of tilting and pushing she managed to get the measurements she needed, just waiting for combined blood results. She printed out about 12 pics of the scan then asked me how many I wanted!! They were £3 each!! I got 4 and she binned the rest!! Grrrr!!

Have been laughing out loud at , opening the car door whilst driving!! dead persons nighty wearing, not washing, and 100mph downward sliding!! Sorry sick humour. Hope everyone ok?

Pram on the bike thing, my 8 yr old needed a new bike this yr and they are bloody expensive, it seems a shame for the kid not to get one at all after the silly mother has already told him what he is getting, seems a shame as he is probably exited about it. However, I went to a local bike shop and they recondition old bikes, I got ours for £50.00, second hand but perfect, he has no idea it was 2nd hand! So maybe compromise in this one? Ring around some stores to see if they do simaler? And tesco direct u think had some big sales on bikes a few mths ago, reviews were ok too. Then have a serious chat and speak to the kids mum, explaining not to tell tge boy in advance of what pressie u getting to prevent it from happening again at Xmas.

As for baby routines!! Never had them, never had a book about babies either!! I just go with the flow, do what works for me and the rest of my family!! My DP works nites mon-sat so it's me on my own most times with our 4 soon to be 5 kids!! Ages 8,7,3 and 2 so different drop offs, pick ups, clubs, schools etc baby just has to fit it! Bf whilst sitting in car whilst dropping a kid off, or whilst making lunch!! Poor things have no choice! And neither do I, I personally can't tie myself into routines as everyday us different with different things. Baby slings are good, so are buggy boards, so are prams!!

Welcome newbies, congrats on scans and so pleased many DP situations are improving. Sorry sons of u have such horrible bosses, pleased my days of that are over for a while.

Need to find a 7 seater car with a big boot! Any suggestions please!!? Sorry for rambling, pleased to be back! Missed the chat! Got dd party today, wish me luck!

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 09:18:17

Ohhh I want a steak now mummy!!! They do 20 and 40 oz at a pub near me reckon i could give the 30 oz a good go!! Xx

Imeg Sat 07-Sep-13 09:24:17

Interesting reading all your posts. We are nowhere near thinking about prams, routines etc,but will appreciate all your advice nearer the time as have never really had any dealings with babies so am completely clueless! I know a lot more about puppies... surely it can't be that different?! One thing I thought I'd ask though: people keep mentioning 'sling libraries': who organises these and where would I look for one?
Am going shopping with my mum to look for maternity trousers today which should be nice. I still don't really have a proper convincing bump, more of a pot belly plus variable bloating, but it will be good to have a look at the options and my current trousers are getting a bit tight.
£100 seems like a lot to spend on a present to me, but I have no idea what bikes cost. I wouldn't spend that on my husband's birthday present!

Shall we have a poll for X Factor vs Last night of the proms tonight?!

liberuna Sat 07-Sep-13 09:51:25

One last thing-with my boss, I also had no 'proof' as all our conversations were always just us two. And once I started proceedings everyone suddenly is watching and aware so it puts your boss on the spot.
Now if you then even think they're giving you less hours you can go back to your original complaint.

Good luck!

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 09:55:46

Imeg I found my local sling group by googling "sling meet my town " some have libraries you can hire from, others just have ones you can try there and then. Possibly worth going before your bump gets too big, they usually have weighted dolls so you can get a good idea of how it'd feel with a baby in (obviously harder to try with an enormous bump, but still manageable).

Nice to see you back, JK. Get to sonographer binning your pics. What would she lose by giving you all of them? We paid for two but got three. And the pornographer didn't take our payment ticket so I'm saving it for next time wink

Gawjus, maybe you and OH will need to experiment a bit to find a position that's comfortable for you both. So glad you're going to get advice about your bastard bosses. They sound vile.

I'm all alone today till this evening so I'm in no hurry to get out of bed. I shall get tea and snacks and lie in bed reading, I think.

Mummy, I don't think a pink steak will do you any harm, and definitely not cooked goats cheese. Well done steak just isn't worth eating. I've had pink steak and duck, raw oysters (soooo good) and all kinds of other stuff I'm not supposed to and I've lived to tell the tale. As long as we exercise common sense and don't go mad with the risky stuff in sure we'll all be fine.

I have a sex question but I think it might be tmi so I'm embarrassed to ask. I think I know the answer anyway.

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 10:29:40

Go on Lyra, it can't be any more embarrassing than things the rest of us have asked or talked about!!

Hi JK, many wise words in your post! We have a renault grand scenic which is pretty spacious but not that big a boot if all the seats are in use.

And I think uncooked goats cheese is even ok if pasteurized. Mind you I am being rather laid back about all that stuff this time round.

sunshinemeg Sat 07-Sep-13 10:52:09

Can I join here please? I'm due march 4th with baby number 1.

justmuddlingthroughit Sat 07-Sep-13 11:05:48

Oh good grief, I go away for two days, and come back to nine pages of new thread!! Haven't really had a chance to catch up properly yet, but am very impressed and a bit daunted by all the talk of routines and buggies; I haven't even begun to think about that yet... confused

I'm off to read what I've missed properly, and then have a major sulk that I've been taken off the stats thread ~crosses arms and glares at *pram, suddenly realises who I'm dealing with and runs away whimpering~

FoxMulder Sat 07-Sep-13 11:09:18

Good morning sunshine and welcome!

I'm sure goats cheese is fine uncooked, as long as it's not the kind with a rind.

Do we really need to be thinking about prams etc. at this stage? I have a couple of rooms in my house that need doing before I can't start filling the place with baby clutter. It'll likely be the new year before I get on to baby stuff.

I think the only thing you need to bear in mind Fox is the lead time on the pram. The iCandy we are looking at has a massive wait. We were advised to order after 12 week scan shock

Welcome Sunshine!

I too am being relaxed over what I eat. Not that I can eat much at the moment grin

Come on Lyra, ask away!!

OwlinaTree Sat 07-Sep-13 11:41:25

Well fox no you don't but lots on here are having 2nd or 3rd so exchanging ideas.

greymoose Sat 07-Sep-13 11:44:19

maybe shock at wait time! Is that just icandy or across the board?!

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 11:49:50

Grey generally just Icandy, although the Buffalo may have a bit of a wait list with it being new - depends if they have underestimated the demand for it!

If somewhere like mothercare, Pramworld etc sell the pram you want, best thing to do is put a deposit down on it around 20 weeks, but don't pay it in full until near due date. Warranties etc start from date of purchase so you want this to be as late as possible!!

sunshinemeg Sat 07-Sep-13 11:51:53

Me and DH are going to the Baby show in London end of October. Will buy things after then I think. House is nearly up to scratch, so then its the nursery to sort which is currently the spare room.

Jolleigh Sat 07-Sep-13 11:58:00

Jesus, moving house while pregnant seems loads more exhausting than when not pregnant. 1/3 through ish. Lord give me strength.

Becface Sat 07-Sep-13 12:10:52

I feel your pain Joll that was me 2 weeks ago, I'm still surrounded by boxes, and living out of suitcases, which isn't difficult seeing as I've been wearing pj's/leggings for the last 2 weeks.

Yes Grey, that's just the iCandy. Though I think the Quinny has a long wait time too.

Joll, good luck! We are going to have to move before March! Scary times!

SoSurprised Sat 07-Sep-13 12:39:31

Joll I find moving tough even when I m not pregnant! We also have to move in feb. Yikes

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 13:00:45

Yes thats another thing lib shes only given me back 24 hours (2 long days) I normally have 2 long 3 short or 3 long 1 short ;/ i will do it this week and if its the same next ill have to say something :/ xx

greymoose Sat 07-Sep-13 13:42:34

Thanks maybe and rock!

We're also moving back from wales to england grin in a few weeks - haven't found a house yet whoops so may end up at my mums for a bit, kill me now! Can't believe you're moving in feb so!!!

Coolhand Sat 07-Sep-13 14:42:02

We moved at 37 weeks last time round. I also had 2 big job interviews the same week. While it wasn't fun, it's a lot better than moving with a newborn. My sis moved at 37/38 weeks, then had baby 11 days early. While she was in first stage of labour she was running round house getting DH to put up pictures everywhere as she said they would never get it done otherwise. She was 7cms by the time she made it to hospital.

That said, I hate moving at any time. Hope you get settled soon!

FoxMulder Sat 07-Sep-13 15:11:03

OK, that's cool. Panic over. I will do the bathroom, then the nursery, then I can start filling it with stuff!

Beccadugs Sat 07-Sep-13 16:45:39

Is the thread broken? No ones been in for an hour and a half...

gawj how rotten for you. She sounds like a moron.

I am exhasted having a 15 min break after two hours of tutoring. 1 hr to go!!

Well boob growth is confirmed, I'm now a 36B! The lady in M&S said not to bother with maternity bras as ordinary non-under wired t-shirt bras were just as good, and half the price!

Unfortunately couldn't find any nice maternity clothes anywhere. Would you believe Next, M&S and John Lewis don't stick maternity in store? The only shop I found was Red Herring in Debenhams, but it was such a small range and mostly casual which is no good for work!

MummyPig24 Sat 07-Sep-13 17:15:38

Frankel did you look in New Look and H&M?

I still haven't bought anything maternity. I guess I will get my act together soon.

I'm laid on the sofa watching Delias Christmas. I want it to be Christmas now!!!

Sarahb8990 Sat 07-Sep-13 17:17:33

Frank it's the same round here. Asda did a range I. Store up until about a week ago now the only place iv found is in h&m. They have got quite a good range in there aswel

Beccadugs Sat 07-Sep-13 17:17:34

John Lewis only stock maternity cloths in Peter Jones Indian sq now. It's utterly ridiculous.

justmuddlingthroughit Sat 07-Sep-13 17:21:51

Does anyone else ever feel really anxious about coping with a child? This is my first, having wanted to be a mum for years, but now all I can think about are the negative aspects; what if I struggle with bf? What if I really can't deal with the sleeplessness, or can't get my baby into a routine? What if I'm totally ineffectual with discipline, or conversely, far too harsh? I'm genuinely concerned that I will be too shouty, especially in public if my child misbehaves and I feel embarrassed. I'm the kind of person who worries far too much what other people think, and know I would feel utterly mortified at being branded a bad mother, even by total strangers. Stupid I know, but it's not something I can switch off. Dh and I were at a family event yesterday, and his cousin's 4 year old was acting up a bit- not really naughty, but had been required to be good for too long and got a bit hyper. His mum and dad were completely calm with him while dealing with it, and I really don't know that I'd have the patience.

Im supposed to be looking forward to starting a family, but I'm really not feeling that I'm cut out for motherhood. I find myself thinking that at least the kid will have a good father, even if his mother's a useless stresshead.

Sorry to dump this on you all, but I don't want to worry dh with it at the mo.

PiratesMam Sat 07-Sep-13 17:37:04

justmuddling mate sometimes you will shout, sometimes you will feel fed up with it/them, sometimes you will wonder why you have put yourselves through it!! But all of these things are COMPLETELY normal. I have two kids so far and try my best not to be a shouty mummy, but sometimes when I'm exhausted and they are both playing up and I haven't been to the bog on my own all day and not finished a single cup of tea, I snap or shout at one/both of them. And feel awful afterwards, and it reminds me why I don't want to be a shouty mum! I just say sorry for shouting and explain why I'm feeling in a cross mood and then suggest we all have biscuits to cheer ourselves up. I think it's important that kids realise that their parents are human beings too.

The fact that you are worried about these things at this stage simply goes to show how anxious you are to do as good a job as possible at being a parent. I have had to take my 4 year old home early from parties because he has misbehaved, and I have seen countless other parents have to do the same, honestly, once you are a parent, everyone is in the same boat and anyone looking at you if your kid is having a strop will just be thinking, "dude I've been there!" And if they're not then they are just being judgemental dick splats (copyright Pirates).

It can be overwhelming at times, being a parent is the biggest, bravest thing I've ever done and at times I've fantasised wondered what my life would be like without them, but I always come to the same conclusion - it would be worse off xxx

PiratesMam Sat 07-Sep-13 17:39:47

oh and ps sometimes it is just impossible to explain to the other half what it's like, because hormones get in the way. That's where we come in handy here!!
(I had to finish last message abruptly because DH arrived home in a strop about his bad hair cut so I had to talk him down from his self-loathing. So it sometimes works the other way too....)

I tried H&M, nothing, but not New Look. Think I'm going to bite the bullet and get some stuff online and just send it back if it doesn't fit.

justmuddling I think it's totally normal to be freaked out by the prospect of being a parent. I know I have wobbles from time to time. You should all to your DH, you'll probably find he's feeling the same way but doesn't want to worry you!

Imeg Sat 07-Sep-13 17:48:41

I've just got some maternity trousers in the H+M sale for £7, bargain! They are very straight-legged, and I normally only wear boot cut, but they will be ok for work and they are very very comfortable (was tempted to wear them round the house but will save them for work as I have other things I can wear at home).

I also found a very nice suit-type shirt for work in the BHF charity shop, it's not a maternity one but a few sizes too big for me and very long so there will not be any gap above my trousers. Also a smart wraparound top in another charity shop, again not specifically maternity but doesn't look ridiculous now and should expand with me I think because of its shape.

I'm planning to leave it at that for now and then buy more bits and pieces as I need them, rather than buying lots now that might not fit me later.

<makes room for Frankel's giant tits. Oof!>

Liberuna, have I told you I think you're ace? Well, I do. And thanks you to you and Mummy from pram/mum advice. I am here at mum's now and have had 'the chat' about baby stuff in general; I had to: she's bought all manner of Mamas & Papas shit which I have no clue how to use (what the fuck is a baby cocoon?) There are blankets, fitted cot sheets, pram liners and insect nets, sun canopies...and I haven't even bought a fucking pram yet or a bastard cot!

Lyra, I demand you share your sexual quandary <begs>

Fox, I am skipping all posts which mention prams. Or slings. Or weaning. Or disposable v reusable nappies.

Muddling, I would never, ever, EVER strike you off a list! You clearly were not on the one I amended to start with <smashes gavel>

Counselling was fantastic, thank you for thinking of us. It was a revelation to hear th'usband talk more eloquently and honestly and succinctly than he has for at least a year to me in private. I won't bore you with the details but we are going back for more and his devastation at what he has done runs deep. Between the three of us we discovered that the £100 bike debacle is merely a symptom of the fact that I resent him having a child already. It was painful to hear but I had to agree. You see? I am a grown-up grin

JK10, great to see you back and thank you so much for your input about bikes.

Muddling, I could have written your panicked post. I seriously worry about the exact same things as you, although I have more precise fears - stemming from past mental health issues - that I will throw my baby under a train or accidentally microwave it whilst in the throes of a nervous breakdown. I am shouty in real life (although lovely hmmsmile); I don't do serene; I don't negotiate; I refuse to cajole. I applaud women in supermarkets who scream at recalcitrant seven year-olds who 'should know better'. I am afraid I will slit my husband's throat as he sleeps (that's even before baby comes) grin

I reckon all mums-to-be battle these demons. Thank goodness we have people like Pirates to assuage our fears smile

Hiya, Marbie! [waves manically]

Just, don't worry so much. The fact that you care so much about being a good mum means you will be a good mum. We can only do our best and there will be times when you'll beat yourself up for not handling a situation as well as you could have but we're all human and we all make mistakes.
Also, remember you're not going to be chucked in at the deep end with a stropping four-year-old. It will be a gradual learning experience and by the time you are dealing with a stropping four-year-old you will have got to know your child inside out and will have learned strategies to deal with them.
Babies tend to sleep a LOT at first so it's not going to be all-out mayhem from day one. You will have time to learn and to adjust to your new life. I completely understand your wobble though. You're about to step into the unknown with a massively life-changing event and it's perfectly natural to be apprehensive about it. In a year's time you'll wonder what you were worrying about.

Sorry for the essay grin

Pram, so pleased it was a positive experience. I was just thinking of you smile

I decided the sex question is really TMI for a public forum so I'll keep schtum.

Would it help if I told you I farted in th'usband's mouth this afternoon whilst he was licking me out?

No? Oh, well...as you were grin

grin Did he continue?

Pram I am crying with laughter. You always brighten up my day, no matter how shite I'm feeling grin. I'm so pleased the counselling went well. I think you just need that impartial person sometimes. We just get so caught up in the day to day living of things that we lose sight of things x

Pirates you speak such sense smile

Just I think it's totally normal feeling like you do. I don't think it will hit me till the baby is here, then I may fall apart wink

Hope everyone is ok today. A far I've baked 80 cakes without vomiting on them. Still got the icing and decorations to go envy

Lyra, he did not carry on, no. This is because I leapt off the sofa, screaming in shame, and fled to the bathroom whilst listening to him bellow with laughter. It didn't help that he kept knocking on the door to inform me that the lounge stank sad

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 18:29:14

Lyra ask on the fb group, then its only us lot who can see?

Pram you just made me laugh out loud and scare DS who was drifting off watching In The Night Garden on my lap!! Glad the counselling went so well. Are you glad now you took him back?

Maybe I think we all need to sample some of your cakes!

Coolhand Sat 07-Sep-13 18:34:29

Mat clothes are officially crap. Got most of mine online last time. So far bought mat jeans in H and M which are great. Other than that just bought dresses that will stretch for work that aren't actually maternity.

Justmuddling it is natural to be worried but you also sound like you're too worried about how others see you and that you can give yourself a hard time. Please learn to give yourself a break when baby comes along. As others have pointed out, the fact that you care says something.

Pram v glad counselling went well today.

Coolhand Sat 07-Sep-13 18:36:55

Oh and can't remember who had trapped wind - it's painful! When I went into labour with DS wasn't sure whether it was the real thing or trapped wind!

JK10 Sat 07-Sep-13 18:46:32

Thanks to all the hellos! Missed catching up! Pram, pleased it all went well!

It's totally natural to worry about coping with a bubba ESP when it's your first, but just go with the flow and you'll be fine! Try not to think about things too much or set yourself unrealistic targets or routines or you are more likely to set yourself up for a fall, or stress tourself out for bot meeting them! Your instincts will just kick in and you'll all be perfect mothers!

How's the poorly dog? I can't remember who it was?

And was delia Christmas on tv?

JK10 Sat 07-Sep-13 18:49:00

Oh and thanks for the car recommendation, the problem we have is that we will use all the seats all the time, so desperate for a proper boot for a pram, it's real hard to find anything other than these car/van things that are huge!

Slippersandacuppa Sat 07-Sep-13 19:14:10

You're terrible, Pramiel Somehow I muddles your post up with Maybe's and am now thinking of fart-flavoured cupcakes ergh. That's put me right orf me curry. Glad you had a good session. Counselling, that is, obvs. You may need to revisit the other.

Muddling I think the very fact you're worrying means you're going to be wonderful. It is overwhelming and just as you think you've got them sussed, they throw you a curveball but you'll be surprised how much you instinctively know and there are always plenty of people willing to offer help.

JK welcome back! On the car front, we've finally bought a car that we can all fit in and I LOVE it. It's a VW Caravelle, safe, 7 proper seats, big boot, more efficient than most vans and cooool! We've got built in booster seats in the middle two seats, which have been fab. I called up the dealer (we got a slightly older one so reasonably priced, they hold their value and are v reliable, so I've heard) and I told him that I was really worried about driving something that big. We went for a test drive and it's so lovely to drive, light steering and doesn't feel huge when you're in the driver's seat. It bounces more than a car, obviously, but it's nice being so high up. I can park it easily (sensors) but that's really the only time I notice it's size, it's just longer when you're reversing. Kids love the automatic sliding doors and we get waved at by other vw van drivers! Indoor carparks would probably be tricky as it's taller than average but that hasn't been a problem so far. It's just so nice getting everyone and tents/luggage/extra children/dog and her bed in with no problems. I'll stop now grin please go and test drive one or a transporter if they do them with 7 seats?

Jolleigh Sat 07-Sep-13 19:21:59

Fuck me backwards I'm tired. Most of the big shite has now been moved. Sat in my dressing gown on my new back door step because it's the only seat available. Really wishing I could do my usual tradition of a glass of wine and a cigarette to break in the new place (the shagging comes later). I've pulled muscles in my arse, legs and lower back. My feet kill. And I still have to put the bed together.

justmuddlingthroughit Sat 07-Sep-13 19:34:34

Thank you everyone for your kind and wise words. coolhand, you have me down to a tee; I suffer from depression and social anxiety, hence the undue concern about others' view of me. I am currently in counselling, so I am better than I was but still a long way to go. It's good to know I have you lot here to keep me sane(r)! I do talk to dh about things as he is very supportive, but haven't raised specific baby-related worries yet. At the moment he's so excited at the prospect of becoming a dad I don't want to spoil that for him, iyswim.

On a lighter note, thank you prambamthankyoumam for giving me a giggle! I think I needed that, although not sure your dh did...wink

SoSurprised Sat 07-Sep-13 20:01:44

Coolhand I hope I am not in the same state as your sister! At least we rent a furnished place so not too much stuff to move, but the the pre-move deep cleaning [dnt even want to think about it]

greymoose that's when our lease runs out and I am nt keen to stay on where we are.

How does the maternity wear sizing work? Should I get the size I wear now in maternity wear or buy a size up? And which stores are good for workwear?

MummyPig24 Sat 07-Sep-13 20:34:31

muddling you will be fine. It's all about learning and almost as soon as you have worked out how to deal with a phase, it has passed! I've lost my temper and shouted, felt judged, lost, like a bad mother. But I know that those moments are tiny compared to the time that we are all happy and dealing with things well. And you will have friends that are in the same boat as you which really helps.

pram, gross but hilarious!

Today I have eaten mostly beige food - bread, croissants and crackers - with Seriously Strong Spreadable. And tea. I'm now making a rhubarb crumble, which at least has a bit of pink in it.

What's everyone else had/having for dinner?

BNmum Sat 07-Sep-13 20:40:09

I'm pleased the counselling went well pram. Was the fart premeditated to get back at DH for being an arse lately? Either way I think that post should come with a health warning, I'm pretty sure I've pulled something by laughing so hard.

On the subject on maternity wear I just bought clothes in my usual size. I haven't bought any this pregnancy but will have to soon. I found asos had a decent and reasonably priced range and I managed to get a few things from h&m and top shop. For work I got a few stretchy wrap dresses and wore them with thick tights/leggings, my usual blazer and comfortable shoes/boots.

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 20:50:37

Anyone else not feel pregnant? My bellys barely changed really ive lost weight from being ill just feel like something could be wrong wish i could have a weekly scan 8 weeks from 12w is a long time something could go wrong and be un noticed sad

Coolhand Sat 07-Sep-13 20:58:31

Gawjus I remember feeling exactly like that first time round as well. You should have m/w appnt at 16 weeks and might begin to feel baby move before 20 weeks, so hopefully some reassurance to keep you going.

Lyra had lentil and root veg casserole for dinner which was a bit healthier than the fish and chips I had last night.

Chips and gravy from t'chippy, Lyra

You're terrible Pramiel gringrin Love it, Slippers!

OwlinaTree Sat 07-Sep-13 21:07:31

Hi guys bought some great maternity clothes from New Look today! Under the bump jeans and trousers for work. Got 2 lovely dresses from red herring too. I've got some old stuff but I'm not sure much will fit me as I was size 10 last time and I'm more 12 to 14 now! Main issueiis the bloody bras, all seem to make Bob's look awful.

we are having Morrison's Chinese takeaway for tea, specifically spring rolls and sweet and sour chicken for me.

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 21:10:23

Yeh got mw nxt week cool x

OwlinaTree Sat 07-Sep-13 21:10:30

X post gawjus I feel like that too. I try to think there's no reason to think anything is wrong if everything is normal. Be positive!

HotCrossPun Sat 07-Sep-13 21:30:05

Right Lyra you have to tell as now. Especially as Pramela has been so kind as to share her expulsions exploits grin

I'd would try and tell you something embarrassing about my own sex life to reassure you, but I don't have one at the moment. It's like DP is scared of breaking me or something now I'm pregnant. Although this morning he did have a wonderful morning boner - just as I was about to demand that he ravish me immediately he got a standby call and had to go to work sad

lumpylumps Sat 07-Sep-13 21:37:21

Do you know what?? Children do unconditional love. I have awful shouty days I make my boys cry and all they want is a cuddle from me. I upset them but only I can comfort them!!! Everyone on here is going to be a fantastic mum because you care. You're on a forum that offers support and advice and doesn't always judge.

pram glad it went well I'm impressed with your grown-upness!

I cooked creamy smoked salmon carbonara for tea. Bloody lovely it was.

And finally I think my uterus has stopped moving, I can wee again. Oh and I had a go with the Doppler. No heartbeat but I could hear movement. And the odd thud. I think baby gave a good kick!

Ok, but you'll probably all go "is that all" (eyeroll).

So, do you reckon rimming is to be avoided during pregnancy? DP loves it and he's always scrupulously clean beforehand but it struck me that if I'm supposed to be really careful about what I eat for fear of getting sick, arsehole-licking probably isn't wise. Opinions?


(now you all think we're disgusting)

x0gawjus0x Sat 07-Sep-13 21:45:57

Yummy salmon lumpy sounds lovely!

i had a bbq pulled pork enchillada with garlec bread !! My first proper meal in days im feeling so uch better no alot of nausea either :D 15 weeks tuesday!! Xxx

HotCrossPun Sat 07-Sep-13 21:51:08

Lyra I love a Saturday night rimming question!

I googled it. It doesn't say anything specifically about being pregnant and doing it, but it does say that even if you thoroughly clean the area, all that really does is freshen it, it doesn't get rid of all the bacteria.

It advises that to be extra careful you can put some kind of latex barrier between your mouth and the anus with a dab of lube on the anus side.

HTH grin

It's not really a Tuesday morning kind of question, is it grin

I suspect a latex barrier would remove most of the fun for him. Surely washing gets rid of most of the bacteria. Not sure whether to tell him no or not. I'm sure he can wait a few months but he does love it and I love to make him squirm wink

I think if you pull his pork at the same time there's nowt wrong with it. Or am I mixing my posts up? Seriously, though, I draw the line at licking a man's arsehole. A scrupulously clean shit pipe is surely an oxymoron?

..If I want to make th'usband squirm I tie him to the bed and shit on his face.


IceNoSlice Sat 07-Sep-13 22:08:42

Hi guys. Checking in very late! I had a very busy couple of days at work on Thurs and Fri and we are away for the weekend. I've just caught up on 6 pages of thread 6 and now I'm 11 pages behind on thread 7! shock

Sorry these comments are so behind! I will try to catch up tomorrow. Hopefully nothing sad has happened - I'm not being insensitive just late!

MTB we're off to CP 4-8th Nov so will miss you by a few days! Very wired coincidence though- imagine if we had the same lodge?!

Whoever it was who is buying everything inc clothes on eBay. Good thought, and might be worth it if you get some sort of bundle. But the postage costs would usually make it a bit pointless. I bought DS a pack of 5 vests in Morrisons f

No, you're joking grin

I only do it to DP if he's shaved and freshly bathed. Seems clean enough. Never had the slightest inclination to do it to anybody else though.

IceNoSlice Sat 07-Sep-13 22:11:33

Fat fingers - a pack of 5 vests in Morrisons for £3 (half price, full price £6 obv) last month. Vests and sleep suits are so cheap in supermarkets, especially when they have 'baby weeks'. And you can return them if baby if too big.

Folks per-buying ready mixed formula- watch out for the best before date as it can sometes be only a few months. If you're sure you want to have some in, get it next Feb.

JK10 Sat 07-Sep-13 22:53:26

slippers thanks so much I'll look in to local dealers, sounds like exactly what we need! Im kinda worried about parallel parking in really long cars, but I guess u just get used to it!!

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:07:44

Lyra antibacterial spray? A good squirt of Cillit Bang??? grin In all seriousness though I'm sure if he's well cleaned it'll be ok, if not would a well-lubed finger work instead?

Bang and the dirt is gone! (in best shouty Barry Scott voice) grin
I've tried the finger thing but he's not keen. He prefers my tongue wink

Slippersandacuppa Sat 07-Sep-13 23:18:47

Hence the name, Lyra ?!

Haha, no. My name comes from a book character.

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:21:26

Ah, is that where the Silvertongue comes from in your name wink

Rockchick1984 Sat 07-Sep-13 23:21:45

Lol, x-posts!


I would think silver is categorically not the colour of Lyra's tongue after a good rimming grin

commsgirl Sun 08-Sep-13 00:16:20

Ahh, been out for dinner and so much to catch up on!

JK and anyone else I've missed who asked (sorry!). The puppy is blissfully unaware that there's anything wrong with him thankfully. We have to take him to see a specialist and get an MRI on Tuesday so we should have a better idea of the way forward after that.

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 07:24:17

I die of pain for one evening and come back to you all talking about rimming! I reckon rimming is alright Lyra. Maybe chuck it under the same risk level as a glass of wine?

There's obviously some bacteria but if it's cleaned and you go brush and gargle after rather than sitting there with arse mouth I reckon it's clean enough to really minimise any risk.

If you're really nervous about it, you could ask the midwife and then come back here to tell us of your embarrassment. wink

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 07:49:26

Well I missed all sorts last night!

Lyra I don't see why you can't indulge in a bit of rimming, as long as things are kept clean!

I felt Nando kick twice last night, like proper movements. I've only felt flutters before. I can't wait till I'm feeling him move and kick all the time.

Oh, how did I miss this last night?! grin

Lyra I'm sure it's fine. After all, it doesn't orally make you ill, so I doubt it woud now wink

I will NOT be asking the midwife about this grin Lol at arse-mouth!

Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. I reckon it's probably safe enough to do every now and then. He really is as clean as it's possible to be without the aid of bleach or boiling water.

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 09:26:05

I just know that judging by what comes out of dhs arse, means I won't be going anywhere near it. Ever!

Arf at 'arse mouth' grin

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 09:41:15

But Mummy - if you can't lick your other half's arse hole, whose can you lick??

rosyryan Sun 08-Sep-13 09:42:06

Oh please, please ask the midwife grin

I am boggling at your description of him as shaved and clean. I am trying to imagine the look on my DH's face if I suggested he shave his ringpiece.

rosyryan Sun 08-Sep-13 09:42:36

Can we get rimming in to the new thread title? Pleeeeeeease?

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 09:42:52

come to think of it actually, I wouldn't say no to Vinny Jones's

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 09:50:23

Well if dh carries on the way he is I won't be anywhere near him again. I was washing up and he dropped some bowls and I said "oh no there's milk everywhere, we need the mop." He started shouting at me, telling me to fuck off. I started crying and then he said "what are you crying for?" I can't believe he spoke to me like that. He is never normally like that.

I just can't stop crying, especially as the children saw it and ds is very protective of me so he's going to be cross with dh now. What a shit day.

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 09:56:06

I wouldn't rim him either Mummy after that behaviour! Give yourselves an hour or so to calm down...chances are he'll realise he's been an arse and make amends.

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 10:02:52

He keeps trying to say sorry but I just can't stop crying and I'm not ready to hear it.

I just said that it shows how little he respects me, speaking to me like that. I'm treated like a slave and come last all the time and I'm fed up with it and him shouting at me was the last straw. I feel even more sick now.

Coolhand Sun 08-Sep-13 10:05:55

Sounds like a huge over-reaction on his part Mummy. Think when things have calmed a little I'd want to know where that came from. Is he really stressed at the mo? Still I would be making it clear I didn't want to be talked to like that, especially not in front of the children. Don't think I'd open with that though as he'll just go on the defensive and you'll find yourself in another screaming match!

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 10:06:48

Sounds like you need a few hours away from it all hun. Why don't you get someone to mind the kids and go buy yourself something nice?

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 10:08:00

Didn't mean that to sound patronising! It's a genuine suggestion.

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 10:13:40

mummy, is this out of character for him? Could he be stressed about something and just snapped? Not that that makes it OK, by any means, but I have occasionally shouted 'oh for fucks sake' when dh has broken something, simply because I was annoyed at something else and being irrational. Although there is a big difference in my mind between 'for fucks sake' and 'fuck off'; one is far more personal and hurtful than the other.

I really hope he comes to his senses and realises just how damaging his outburst was, not only to you, but to your children.

Give yourself time away from him to calm down, then talk later. Meanwhile, ((hugs))

I'd warn against using "rimming" in a new thread title. Many people access MN from work where filters are set high. Several people had probelems getting on to the last thread because it had "pornographer" in the title.

rosyryan Sun 08-Sep-13 10:24:53

Yes, that was me Frank! grin I was just cracking up at the thought of an ante-natal club with rimming in the title. Childish!

Whoa, I wonder where that came from Mummy. If it is completely out of character there must be something bothering him, surely? I don't blame you for feeling angry and upset, especially as he did it in front of the children.

Rosy, usually he gets me to shave it. Which then leads to other things...;)

Mummy, sorry your dh is being an arse. Leave him with the children and go and have some "me" time.

Ugh. Shaved arses. I've never understood a man shaving his balls, arse or the root of his dick (except when they want to make it look bigger). I feel it emasculates them.

Mummy, what do you mean when you say your husband treats you 'like a slave'?

Comms, I'm sorry to hear about your puppy's health problems sad

Gawj, how're things with your fella?

Jolls, please be careful with your house move. How do you feel today, love?

I have put on 12lbs since my BFP. I am really upset about this. But very happy to be pregnant smile

MaybeIt'sBecauseI'mAnEssexSlag, can we have fb piccies of your cakes, you clever girl?

Pram, he doesn't shave it all off, just between the butt cheeks. He sys it feels cleaner. He's a very hairy man in general so no chance of emasculation.

It's very quiet in here today.

I'm off out for lunch with the DC, my mum and sister in a bit. Tony Roma's for a full rack of ribs with a sticky sauce smile. Kids eat free on Sundays.

Now you all know far more about my DP than you ever wanted to know grin

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 11:48:25

Shattered Pram but all the big stuff has now been moved and I'm spending the day getting the new kitchen in order.

I'm also on 'stop the dog eating anyone's cat' duty. There appear to be quite a few cats who are used to using our new garden as a pass-through or a sun bathing area. They're getting some very rude awakenings.

Lyra, I am well-jel of your sticky ribs. Salivating, in fact. Is it eight days now until your hirsute lover returns? How exciting!

Jolls, those cats are in for a shock, aren't they? What's your new street/area like? Are you still in the same town? When are we having that Manchester meet-up? There are Bolton, Warrington, Yorkshire and East Lancs lasses on here. I promise I am not as evil as I appear on screen grin

I am waiting for my dad to pick me up from mum's to take me home. I stayed here last night and am missing th'usband dreadfully after such a breakthrough at counselling yesterday. Last night I sent him this text:

I'm glad we went to Relate
'Cos we had a lot on our plate
You're still my best friend
With a juicy bellend
And I still think you're sexy and great.


MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 12:44:17

I mean that I feel like I do everything. I had emptied the upstairs bins and put the bag on the landing to take down when I went. He went down way before me and just walked past it. He is helpful but I always have to ask and then I feel like I'm nagging. Why can't he just think of it?!

He is a bit stressed. Money is tight and it worries both of us. He's not having a great time at work. He hit his foot when he dropped the bowls so it was also a reaction to the pain.

We talked about it and I made it clear that speaking to me like that will not be tolerated. I know he feels really guilty about it, it's totally not normal for him. And usually if someone said that to me I would tell them to fuck off back! But I'm emotional at the moment and feeling fragile!

I'm flipping starving, cannot wait for my roast dinner. I take care of the veg, dh does the meat!

Yep, a week tomorrow till he's back in all his hairy gorgeousness smile

I fear I may have spoiled my lunch by being greedy with the cereal, which I don't usually eat. A bowl of Rice Krispies and a bowl of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. Greedy pig that I am!

Nice poetry, Pram smile

Mummy, some men just don't see what needs doing. XP never did anything without being asked. DP would if he was here more often but he's always at bloody work. Glad he's acknowledged that what he said wasn't acceptable.

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 13:40:36

Loads nicer Pram. There are real trees here! And (at the risk of sounding like a complete twat) neighbours who speak English (and not just chav English! ). Met our lovely old lady neighbour yesterday and she's really sweet. Certainly won't be woken up by drunken neanderthals at 3am every smegging morning any more. Had a great night's sleep last night. Getting the house sorted is a big job but it's worth it.

Cooking a home made lasagne tonight. Has been far too long since I've had my kitchen luxuries to hand smile

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 13:43:26

I'm a hungry pregnant woman. I'm about to turn feral. I have only had an apple to eat! I didn't fancy anything this morning and now I'm holding out for lunch.

Jolleigh do you make your own sauces too?

liberuna Sun 08-Sep-13 13:46:33

Lyra If you consider all the stuff we potentially put in our mouths, touching strange and dirty things like public transport yuk then putting fingers in. Our body can handle most common types of bacteria.

I was at a friends bbq last night all of them pissed and cooking meat. If I can risk a dirty sausage then I'm sure you can manage a clean rimming! grin

p.s love the Phillip Pullman books

pram you do make me giggle, glad counseling went well. but I agree getting rid of hair down there keeps things clean and clear. My brazilian goes aall the way if i ever get the courage to get it done again hmm

That's true, Lib. I only ever get ill after travelling on public transport.

Mummy, surely not long to go now?

Joll, enjoy the lasagne. It's one of my favourite dishes homemade. tastes so much bewtter than shop-bought. Mummy, I make my own sauces. It's just not the same with Dolmio or whatever.

Glad the new house is better, Joll. No-one speaks chav where we live and I like it that way. I don't care if that makes me sound snobby.

Right, I'm off out for my rib feast. Laters.xx

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 14:07:36

Dh reports that it will be 10 minutes. About to eat one of the children.

Mummy, yep, he sounds like your average bloke to me and even though telling you to 'fuck off' is not on it sounds like he regrets it and is remorseful. I also wish men could recognise the stuff that needs doing without having to be asked. When toilet roll runs out in this house, and DH is the last to use it, I walk in later to find a brand new roll sat atop the toilet roll holder. He doesn't wrap a loaf of bread up properly either.

Jolls, yes! The trees! I forgot about them. Lovely. And non-chav neighbours who speak properly are also a treat. Life is so much more bearable when our environment is peaceful.

I have yet to make a home made sauce as tasty as Dolmio.

HotCrossPun Sun 08-Sep-13 14:16:16

Where is Saggy? sad

I asked about Saggy t'other day. Hope she's okay.

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 14:37:24

I am indeed making my own sauces Mummy and Lyra...cooking relaxes me so much so I'm definitely starting from scratch...bugger the mess!

commsgirl Sun 08-Sep-13 15:09:13

Pram Glad to hear you sounding positive after your Relate sesh.

Jol Your new house sounds lovely. All the work will be worth it. I can't wait to move.

We went to a baby sale thing today (like an indoor car
boot). Wasn't really looking to buy anything but we spotted a lovely, good as new bouncer at a really good price so we snapped it up. I've come home to bake cookies and read a book smile.

Rockchick1984 Sun 08-Sep-13 15:45:44

Saggy is fine, she is spending a lot of time on the pregnant after miscarriage thread (I go on here when I'm happy, and on that one when I'm stressing about things goin wrong this time).

Just been to asda and they've got some baby clothes reduced very cheap. Am skint at the moment so just got a pack of 3 plain white sleepsuits for £2, need to know if this is a boy or girl so I can go through DS's old clothes and figure out what I need to buy!

Jolls! Th'usband has just come in from the kitchen with Ginsters steak slice butties!

Thanks for telling us about Saggy, Rock. It made me sad to think you sometimes feel the need to go on that other thread. I will go to Asda and do the same. Thanks for the tip.

I keep reading all over mumsnet what an utterly pointless and expensive waste of time pregnancy yoga is. This makes me very happy as I thought I was missing out on something magical/enlightening/life-enhancing.

I am more sick today than ever. I am 15+1. What the absolute devil is going on??

commsgirl Sun 08-Sep-13 16:21:58

Pram get it on YouTube, doesn't have to be expensive!

IceNoSlice Sun 08-Sep-13 16:26:00

Hello, hello. Took me ages to catch up! Must not let myself get so far behind again!

Rimming! Mouth farts! Hahahahahahahaha.

Haven't been on t'rest of mumsnet in a week or so haven't seen the 'preggers yoga is a waste of time' thread. But I like it. Depends what you do it for. There's no real excerise in it. And I ended up with a CS so I'm not totally sold on the birthing positions stuff. But it's an hour and a half a week where I am not working, parenting, tidying, house working or stuffing my face. I like the stretching and calm breathing, and relaxation techniques. I like being in a room full of pregnant ladies. And it's not expensive at £6 a session (yay to not living in London).

x0gawjus0x Sun 08-Sep-13 16:39:25

Were not doing too bad pram thankyoy for asking smile we just piss eachother off alot lol, how are you getting on?

Got a lamb stew in the slow cooker smells loveeeely smile

x0gawjus0x Sun 08-Sep-13 16:41:21

And about rimming you are fking brave lyra i have put my finger up there once in our whole relationship it freaked me out sooo much its hairy argh its disgusting never looked at / smelt it / touched it since even if i do love him lol!!

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 17:29:54

Maybe I could give pregnancy yoga a whirl, seeing as I will be child free every morning from next Thursday (apart from Nando obv.)

I looked in Tesco yesterday and a pack of 3 white vests is £2.50 and 3 white sleep suits is about £4. So I will get 2 of each and that will be it until baby is born.

SoSurprised Sun 08-Sep-13 17:33:08

I have no clue what to buy for the baby yet. I am waiting for my friend to come over and then tell me what should be looking out for.

We are having a go kart racing thing for team building does anyone know if it's safe? I will be 16 weeks. I have never been before.

What is it with these pie sandwiches? It should be pastry or bread, not both!

How was your dinner, Mummy and gawk? My ribs were great but there were too many of them so I got a doggy bag. I'm well and truly stuffed. Grooaaan.

HotCrossPun Sun 08-Sep-13 17:39:23

I've been to something like that before So, it was quite full on! You have a helmet obviously, but you do get jolted about a bit, especially if somebody bumps in to you. And the wheel is right next to your belly.

I'd check with your midwife and see what she says.

Gawk? lol

So, I wouldn't do it at 16 weeks. You'll probably find that they say you can't do it anyway, for insurance reasons or whatever. There was a very tame ride thing at the London Dungeons last week and even that said it pregnant women shouldn't go on it and it was hardly bumpy at all (I sneaked on because I was sure it would be fine and it was).

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 17:43:39

Well at least you will have something to snack on later! Dinner was gorgeous, we haven't had a really big yummy roast like that for aaaaages.

And it probably tasted even better because you were ravenous grin

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 17:46:45

Has anyone had a letter telling them to go for a flu jab? I got mine. Boooo.

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 17:47:10

Yes it did, I really appreciated it.

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 17:49:03

mummy, I'm glad to hear that your dh's outburst was an uncharacteristic thing, that he's apologised for.

Who else still has their scan to do? Mine's this Thursday, and I know painauxraisin's is the the same day. We should be almost done by the end of this week I think? I can't wait to finally tell our families, keeping it a secret for nearly two months has been killing me!

In other news, there's a group of kids playing on our street. This makes me stupidly happy. grin

commsgirl Sun 08-Sep-13 17:49:53

At least you won't have to have your photo taken for the newspaper while having the flu jab. Bloody job!

liberuna Sun 08-Sep-13 17:55:31

So go carting is a lot of fun and bumpy. Imagine bumper cars. As long as everyone else knows you're pregnant so they don't bump into you and you go slow. You sshould be ok

Personally I wouldn't risk it, like Hot says the wheel is quite low and in front of the belly. But I'm a paranoid first timer . smile

I would not risk go-karting, So.

I have finally had my Notice Seeking Possession from the landlord dated 7th Sept and asking us to leave by 5th October hmm I rang him and told him that my Borough Council has informed me I have two months from the date of his Notice. He did not freak out at all as I told him we would like to be gone as soon as possible but that the places we have viewed so far are shitholes. I said the problem we had was that there are no furnished properties and we don't own a stick of furniture. He said we can have all the sofas from here and as many beds as we want smile

We still won't be gone by the 5th grin

SoSurprised Sun 08-Sep-13 18:16:34

I am also a first timer and its taken me 6 years to conceive this one so would err on side of caution and not do it. Thanks for the advice.
Midwife said as long as no one bumps into me I should be fine, but it could happen accidently so I dnt want to risk it.

I got the flu jab letter too. I am scheduled for 6 oct! I might have come down with it by then.

I have a mild UTI so need to provide another sample to get checked out again. I have a really problem of producing urine on command :/.

IceNoSlice Sun 08-Sep-13 18:17:46

We did work go carting. I wasn't allowed. Shame as I've done it before and it's ace. But I was quite glad not to as I went to watch and there was a big three cart pile up, and one of the carts started smoking, eek! The guys in the my work are very bolshy and competitive and tried to laugh it off but admitted later it hurt quite a bit- like mild whiplash. So might be better to be safe than sorry with this one. And I say that as someone who is pretty chilled about all the 'avoid when preggers' stuff.

All this talk of ribs, roast and slow cooker lamb- makes me sooo hungry! Just 'use-up-all-the-veggies-in-the-fridge' pasta for us tonight sad

SoSurprised Sun 08-Sep-13 18:17:58

Pram hopefully you will find a great place smile

Lyra, I love the irony in you finding pie butties so wrong when you have no issue with putting your tongue up your fella's arse grin

IceNoSlice Sun 08-Sep-13 18:22:30

Well played pram-pram-per-ram! Excellent furniture acquisition technique!

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 18:24:44

Pram - tell him from me that it's the tea of gods (though I'm not a fan of Ginsters anything really, definitely a Hollands girl)!

Lyra - there is nothing wrong with double carb. I challenge anyone not to feel like they've been cuddled after eating a double carb tea wink one aspect of my pregnancy that I better had grow out of or I'll be the size of a house

HotCrossPun Sun 08-Sep-13 18:33:56

Double-carbing is okay, i.e steak pie and chips. But a sandwich with a pastry product is wrong wrong wrong!

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 18:37:47

You've never lived HotCross !

Lol Pram grin You do have a point.

I was going to suggest you ask the landlord if you can take some furniture. If he's knocking the place down, he's not going to need it, is he. Maybe he'll throw in some white goods too? You could also try freecycle. People give away all kinds of stuff in good working order because they don't want the clutter. Or Gumtree. When I moved we bought a Bosch washing machine on Gumtree for £40 and it's still going strong five years later.
Hotcross, lasagne and chips is another one I don't understand.

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 18:45:18

Lasagne and garlic bread is double carb hmm (I'm making a salad with it rather than giving in to OH who wants chips too!)

SoSurprised Sun 08-Sep-13 18:46:36

That sounds really dangerous Ice. Definitely not doing it now.
I have eaten so much today. Complete rubbish too. Absolutely stuffed and feeling pukey now.

Rockchick1984 Sun 08-Sep-13 19:17:15

Double carb meals are the best!! Although prefer chip butties rather than pie. Asked DH's opinion and he is now desperate for a pie butty grin

Pram will the council offer you somewhere now you've got the notice through? My house is council commoner and it's fab - quiet little cul de sac, tons of trees, looks like it should be in a little village somewhere rather than the outskirts of a big town!!

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 19:19:50

Pasta and garlic bread is fine. Great.
Pie sandwich, what?!

I've been living almost entirely off carbs with a few vegetables thrown in. I reckon I've lost about half a stone, I haven't weighed myself but my clothes feel looser and my face looks thinner. My appetite is slowly returning as the nausea gradually subsides but I can still only eat very small amounts. I really forced that roast down earlier, it was huge and I struggled but it was so damn good.

lumpylumps Sun 08-Sep-13 19:22:37

So according to m&s you only wear pjs and nighties if you're preggers. Check out their maternity range!!! Who was looking for a cossie? New look have on online that looks pretty practical!

I've led a pretty sheltered life, all the talk of rimming and farting is making me blush!!

Just ordered my first maternity clothes from Next online - the dress I linked to in the previous thread, some black over-bump leggings and a pink vest dress. Total £52. I have old maternity clothes somewhere but I suspect they're still in bastard XP's loft so I may or may not get them at some point.

liberuna Sun 08-Sep-13 19:38:59

I was at French restaurant and i tried to order pasta and chips.

In his snooty accent this waiter says you cannot have the pasta and the chips I mean what the hell?!

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 19:43:07

liberuna, you should have said 'in that case can I have a pie butty?', and watch the snobby fucker's brain implode.

lumpylumps Sun 08-Sep-13 19:47:06

I've ordered a dress, blouse and jumper from New look. £50 too! I bought a non maternity jumper from next today. I thought it'd do with a bump but it's just ridiculously too big. Sleeves too long, far too wide. I'm sure it's labeled wrong. It's going back. I've got some jeans. Skinnies and leggings from last time. I'm hoping that'll do. Might get an extra pair of leggings.

Coolhand Sun 08-Sep-13 19:51:14

Jolls look after yourself - I always find sorting the kitchen to be a fairly big job when you move into a new house. Glad you're happy with new location though.

I have stayed off coffee this pregnancy but had a real urge for a proper caffeine-filled cup this afternoon before I got stuck into my marking. Last pregnancy, had one cup a day and DS always kicked like mad after. Was sitting marking away, when nearly jumped out of my skin as baby did somersault quite distinctly on my lft hand side. Not just a flutter but a full scale kerflump - think because I was bending forward over my marking, felt it all the stronger. Been 2 yrs since I felt that and makes me smile!

I'm so pissed off with XP right now. He's just sent me an email saying he's paying me £400 less in child maintenance this month because of legal costs for the court case HE chose to start. He earns a lot and I know he can easily afford what he's supposed to pay me. He does this almost every month because he wants me to beg him for the money. He knows my finances are very tight and I can't afford a cut of £400 overnight. Arsehole angry

Coolhand Sun 08-Sep-13 19:54:45

I'm expecting my flu jab letter soon. Got it last time and tbh was glad as with working in a school, flu is pretty virulent in the winter months. Think I would panic about having it in the first 12 weeks but feel okay about it after that. I know some people report feeling flu-like after but I had no side effects last time.

Oh Lyra, he's such a knob! Reply and say "I am forwarding your email to my solicitor". That might be enough to put the wind up him.

Coolhand Sun 08-Sep-13 19:56:37

Lyra that man needs a slap. His behaviour is do pathetically jealous and designed to punish you for being pregnant. Don't know your rights in that situation but just wanted to say, once again, what an arse.

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 19:56:42

Aww cool how lovely! I felt our little one kick today, the first proper movement. I rarely drink tea or coffee. If I drink coffee I get tummyache and need a poo urgently within 1/2 an hour!

Cool, that's lovely about the kick. I feel more movements when i lean forward to. Haven't felt any for several days now but have listened with the doppler and all appears to be well.

I haven't had any information about the flu jab. I actually had full-on flu when I was four months pregnant with DS2 and it was horrible. The paracetamol I was allowed to take just did nothing. I was bed-ridden for nearly a week and I had to stop bf DS1 because I was too ill and weak.

Thanks Frank and Cool. He's spent the last two years (since I kicked him out) doing anything he can to punish me and my pregnancy is just his latest excuse, although of course he would deny being jealous hmm

Becface Sun 08-Sep-13 20:00:01

SoSuprised you probably wouldn't be allowed anyway by the go karting place, I went on a hen do when I was 6 weeks and its on the disclaimer that you sign at the beginning, the guys at the place we went to were really nice about it and said he wouldn't want me risking it just in case. They kept it secret from the rest of the group as well as my pregnancy wasn't common knowledge back then. The girls who did it said it was very bumpy, and really hot so I'm glad I didn't do it when already feeling woozy!

BNmum Sun 08-Sep-13 20:02:58

How far along are you coolhand, mummy and lyra? Must be really exciting to feel movement.

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 20:03:39

I had the swine flu jab when I was pregnant with dd. I thought my arm was going to drop off! I couldn't dress myself or lift ds into his cot. It was seiously painful. But I didn't get swine flu!

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 20:03:55

I'm 13 weeks today BN.

BN, I'm 15+5.

SoSurprised Sun 08-Sep-13 20:14:55

Ooh mummyPig that's really early! Must feel great.

Lyra I am 15 weeks today feeling nothing yet :/

MummyPig24 Sun 08-Sep-13 20:18:33

It's dc3, I felt dc2 at 15 weeks. So I guess I am looking out for it!

commsgirl Sun 08-Sep-13 20:20:16

Lyra No advice about the legal situation but what a knob.

Mummy I had swine flu, bloody awful! Can't imagine it on top of pregnancy.

Can't wait to feel some movement!

So, this is number 3 for me. I first felt very light movements at 11 weeks. Super-early.

So, this is number 3 for me. I first felt very light movements at 11 weeks. Super-early.

PiratesMam Sun 08-Sep-13 20:42:55

I had swine flu when I was 6 months pregnant with DD. I'd been initially told I didn't need the jab but they changed the advice after that. It was AWFUL. DS had it, he was one and a half, poor lamb. We both got tamiflu which helped us recover. My friend also got it and it caused her to have her baby prematurely at 34 weeks. Everyone - get the jab!!!!!

SoSurprised Sun 08-Sep-13 20:44:23

Pirates when are you getting yours?

Jolleigh Sun 08-Sep-13 20:46:07

It's done now Cool. Was so proud of myself I took a picture after! I even made lasagne from scratch after finishing it. When I think back to the fact we couldn't get in the room this morning, it definitely makes me look at it as a job well done grin

Coolhand Sun 08-Sep-13 20:48:46

BN 15 weeks here as well. Have felt things earlier this time round - felt consistent flutters with DS from 16/17 weeks which I think was fairly early for a first timer. The fact that he always suddenly woke up when I drank a cup of coffee made it fairly easy to spot!

BNmum Sun 08-Sep-13 20:50:43

Interesting, I'm also 13weeks (this is #2) and I've had a few flutterings but just assumed it was wind grin. I'll try and pay more attention next time.

liberuna Sun 08-Sep-13 21:06:05

Mummy Cool and Lyra how amazing that movement/fluttering must be!

Im 14 wks today and all ive got is the odd stabby feeling on the left hand side

Is that normal?

Lib, could be ligament stretching. It's hard to identify early flutters if you're a first-timer because they do feel very much like wind.

IceNoSlice Sun 08-Sep-13 21:13:42

Oops just spent far, far too much buying maternity clothes and shoes online. Justified to myself by saying I will probably return most of it- I shop online a lot, and usually do return 80% so that's not complete self delusion. Ho hum.

RockChick, nowt wrong with council houses (I was brought up in one) but may I ask..how did you get one when your husband works?

Lyra, yes, Gumtree will be a solution I'm sure. We can't have any of the white goods from here as the landlord is installing them in the six new houses he will be building on this land hmm What the hell is your ex playing at? What are you going to do? I wish I could help with proper advice but I haven't got the foggiest about child maintenance payments.

So...ladies with kids already are feeling this baby kick, am I right? Are there any first-timers amongst us who are feeling movement? I can say for definite I am not and I don't expect to for another three weeks.

Ice, maternity shoes? grin

Pram, I don't know what to do. He says his legal advice is that he's not legally obliged to pay me anything as we currently have a shared residency order (though the children spend at least 80% of their time with me). I've tried reminding him that he has a moral obligation, at least, to provide for his children, especially as he's a high earner and can easily afford it. I need to consult a lawyer.

greymoose Sun 08-Sep-13 21:26:16

pram i thought i felt the bubbles the other day but haven't since and am not 100% it was that!

IceNoSlice Sun 08-Sep-13 21:37:05

Yup, maternity shoes. An essential wink

Rockchick1984 Sun 08-Sep-13 21:38:19

Pram where I am the cut-off point for eligibility for council housing is pretty high - think you are eligible if you are in receipt of any benefits so our tax credits mean we could apply. So your DH's working tax credits would mean you could apply. It took us 6 months to get a house as band C applicants (based on priority of how badly you need rehousing, A is highest, D is lowest) and on the criteria where we are, you would be band A or B. Definitely check to see if you can get somewhere, we have a 3 bed semi for £460 per month, if we rented privately we could only afford a 2 bed flat!

commsgirl Mon 09-Sep-13 08:00:13

I'm having a day off work today as I feel absolutely exhausted and so dizzy/faint. Feeling majorly guilty though!

justmuddlingthroughit Mon 09-Sep-13 08:10:15

Feeling faint is a damn good reason to take a day off! I know what you mean though, I've always felt major guilt if I call in sick for anything other than full blown flu.

Look after yourself; ensconce yourself on the sofa, complete with duvet and snacks, and watch crap telly. jealous

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 08:11:28

Just relax and enjoy it comms. Ds is at school today, dd and I are going down to the toddler group I run, well today is my last session, to hand over keys. I will not be sad to see the back of it tbh, I've run it for almost 5 years and its time for someone else to take a turn!

PiratesMam Mon 09-Sep-13 08:11:42

comms make the most of it!! I need a week off, just me, a duvet and the sofa. But it ain't gonna happen! Although come January I will hopefully have 2 mornings of peace and quiet a week when DD starts preschool. At 7 months pregnant that will be most welcome. Please remind me to just rest on those mornings rather than housework!

lumpylumps Mon 09-Sep-13 08:26:46

I've been feeling movement too, on an off for the last week. I love it, it's like my insides are vibrating!!

I'll be getting the flu jab!!

Swimming then jam making today!! I love my Mondays off, can't wait till I'm on mat leave. I am wondering if my boys will ever realise the 5.30am is not an acceptable time to get up tho!!!

justmuddlingthroughit Mon 09-Sep-13 08:36:05

I usually get Mondays off but have to go in today, booo!

I might not be around much now till Thursday, cos I've got an essay to write for my open uni course which I've been MASSIVELY procrastinating on. blush

If you see me on here before Thursday, tell me to GET SOME BLOODY WORK DONE.

Have a lovely week all, comms, hope you feel better soon. smile

commsgirl Mon 09-Sep-13 08:38:46

Thanks for making me feel less lazy! My boss is generally understanding which helps but I still feel awful.

Pirates I haven't left the bedroom yet as I know I'll see the ironing pile and not be able to ignore it!

commsgirl Mon 09-Sep-13 08:44:09

just Hope your essay goes well! I used to bribe myself with some form of chocolate every few hundred words smile

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 09:04:24

I booked my flu jab sad 28th September. pirates having swine flu must have been awful!

I would love a day or two off but at least dd starts fs1 on Thursday so I get every morning to myself

It's bloody freezing here. I want to hide under the duvet.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 09:16:49

just if you're a cat person you could try this haha writtenkitten.net/

PiratesMam Mon 09-Sep-13 09:19:53

lumpy how old are your DC? Have you tried a gro-clock? Sometimes DD wakes pre-6am and I tuck her in and tell her it's not quite morning!!! wink They get up around 7ish usually; we are all still in our pjs and I'm wondering how the HELL I'm going to get us all ready for school next week. We are a lazy family.

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 09:37:11

I second the gro clock suggestion. It revolutionised our life! Ds was a 5am riser. We pushed the time back and back until we got to 7am. He almost always wakes up for a wee first but will then go back go his room and only come through to us when the clock "wakes up".

I've just stuck a lentil and veg soup in the slow cooker. We need some comfort food on a rainy day!

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 09:38:34

I don't get why kids think it's the morning when it's still dark. As a species, are we not born with any instincts?!

I certainly seem to have developed some anyway, getting up in the dark is SO hard. I've fallen asleep in the shower before.

mimili Mon 09-Sep-13 09:44:32

I also went Maternity clothes shopping over the weekend. Disaster. In the future I am sticking to online shopping and trying clothes on in the comfort of my own home, starting with an ASOS shop tonight for some holiday clothes.

The sickness started again this morning! Who was it that promised us the 2nd trimester is the one where we have lots of energy and look amazing… I am still waiting!

Has anyone here booked onto any NCT classes? Or do you intend too?

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 09:56:23

Yeah, I tried maternity clothes shopping too but couldn't find anything anywhere. And the stuff I ordered online was all crap. It's a bit tricky. My normal trousers don't do up anymore, but I can't believe that anything new I buy will still fit in 6 months time when I'm the size of a house.

I was wondering about antenatal classes too. I assumed the midwife would tell me all about them, but I don't know if I should have already booked something by 16 weeks.

JustCallMeBaldrick Mon 09-Sep-13 10:22:27

Just got a phone call - all beanie's chromosomes are normal smile
It's such a huge relief! I'm now looking forward to my me appt this afternoon, hoping to hear the heartbeat!

JustCallMeBaldrick Mon 09-Sep-13 10:23:23

I'll try and catch up with the thread at some point - can't believe we're halfway through thread 7...January are only on 8!!

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 10:23:34

Mim I did NCT classes when I had DS and they were brilliant - 5 couples on them, and was a complete lifesaver having others who were at the same stage of pregnancy / newborn mayhem to put my mind at ease that what DS was doing was normal! Still in touch with 3 of them and DS is 2.5!

Re maternity clothes, if they still feel too big then buy some normal clothes in a size or 2 up. You will wear them once you have the baby and are shrinking back down to normal size - its sooooo depressing to still be wearing maternity clothes when your baby is 6 months weeks old smile

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 10:24:04

Baldrick that's fantastic news!!

HotCrossPun Mon 09-Sep-13 10:24:16

It's my birthday tomorrow. DP (god love him) is an awful present buyer. He tries his best, but never quite gets it right grin

The other day we were in Tesco and there was a little girl whizzing about the aisles in a pair of heeleys. I said, aw I always wanted a pair of them.

Fast forward to last night when I was banished to the bedroom so he could wrap my gifts. He kept on shouting through, wait till you see what I've got you, you are going to love it!! I had a root around when he left for work this morning and there is a box that looks suspiciously like a shoe box shock

The wee lamb, I haven't got the heart to tell him that yes, I have always wanted shoes with wheels, but maybe now i'm pregnant it isn't the best time for me to whizz about on them grin

HotCrossPun Mon 09-Sep-13 10:24:59

Great news Bald smile

liberuna Mon 09-Sep-13 10:40:24

Great news B

Re:maternity clothes ebay is fantastic. Already bought some nice elasticated trousers that should get me through very very cheap.

Somebody recommended NCT. What is this thing you speak of?

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 10:47:12

I'm tempted by e-bay, but wary because of my lack of experience with maternity clothes. I'll end up with a tonne of stuff that doesn't fit. And it's a pain to sell it back. Especially if it's not worth much in the first place.

NCT is the National Childbirth Trust & they run a lot of antenatal classes, amongst other things.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 11:04:29

i was under the impression the NCT weren't very good?! I have no idea where I got that from though?!

mimili Mon 09-Sep-13 11:14:34

grey I've heard mixed things, however the general consensus seems to be that regardless of the content of the course you have a decent support network with the other mums/parents.

I've got no family on my doorstep so I am thinking about it for that reason.

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 11:15:46

Some people hate NCT antenatal classes - apparently some teachers really push the "natural birth is best" theories but mine wasn't like that. We talked about pros and cons of each type of pain relief, she asked if there was anything in particular we wanted to cover - one woman was having an ELCS so we covered more info on c sections than they would have otherwise, learnt about basic babycare (changing nappies, bathing etc). The best thing about it was definitely the friends made, really helped DH too as he had some other new dads to talk to and escape to the pub with occasionally who didn't care that he was shattered and not really the best of company.

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 11:24:09

Mmm, this is what appeals to me. I don't really know anyone else in this area (despite having moved here 8 years ago). Unfortunately NCT don't do courses in town, so I would have to go to Lancaster and thus possibly missing the point of making local friends!

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 11:32:43

Fox have a look and see if they have any bumps and babies meet-ups near you - they are pregnancy to 1year old babies, normally a coffee morning type thing smile

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 11:42:24

Ooh I have looked and indeed there is. Midweek though, so will check it out again when I'm on mat leave. If I dare!

Beccadugs Mon 09-Sep-13 12:00:20

We are going to do NCT, as its been recommended by lots of child having friends. We booked the second to last place when I was 8 weeks!!

At work today and feeling very sick. Need to take more medicine at 2, and have left it at home... Feeling a bit stressed about puking at work (again).

SoSurprised Mon 09-Sep-13 12:09:02

Do we have to book the NHS course places too? My midwife mentioned it in passing last time. I just assumed I would get space.

SoSurprised Mon 09-Sep-13 12:18:27

Congratulations Baldrick smile great new

On the maternity clothes front I've been told JoJo Maman Bebe are good, and they seemed reasonably priced. They have a shop in Cambrudge so I will head there next weekend.

On the NCT class front I think I will go along and see what they are like. My best friend didn't bother going as she said she felt they were all about pushing pain relief hmm. I'm also looking into other classes like hypnobirthing and Lazy Daisy, not because I'm a Woo Merchant, but because I know I'm a stress-head so anything that helps me feel relaxed and control can only be a good thing!

liberuna Mon 09-Sep-13 12:29:30

Im in same boat as you Fox and Mimli. Need to start building network up.

grey I hear you are the gate keeper fir the Facebook group. What wonderful treats must I grease your palm with to participate?

I have selection of beige foods and anti sickness pills. grin

rosyryan Mon 09-Sep-13 12:36:37

Baldrick that's really brilliant news.

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 12:38:55

I'm interested in hypnobirthing for the same reasons Frankel. But the local one has a really disturbing photo on their website - it's a woman and her partner, nuded up in the birthing pool with the hypnobirthing tutor (presumably!) leaning over the side with her hand trailing in the water! Aaaargh! I don't want to go near that woman!

mimili Mon 09-Sep-13 12:39:26

Also interested in the process for NHS classes. Midwife mentioned it at booking in appt but heard nothing since. I assumed it would be too early to hear anything. But would like the option rather than miss the boat

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 12:42:46

Baldrick that is wonderful news!

I haven't done nct before but I might look into it this time as I don't really know anyone who is pregnant. We have a bumps and babes at the children's centre but nobody with a bump goes, just those with babes!

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 12:44:02

There's a woman close by here who does "confident birthing" classes, she is a doula. My friend hired her for pregnancy, birth and after. She had a horrendous first birth and she felt she needed someone to give her confidence. It worked for her. P

faithfulandtruthful Mon 09-Sep-13 12:53:02

Yet again, its taken me ages to catch up! So here goes...

Men can breastfeed all boobs are capable of producing milk but due to mens being smaller they cant produce enough to sustain a small person.

I've been meaning to ask about movement, I am 13 weeks with my first, there have been two occasions where I have felt a bubbling which has been very specific, it felt different to wind. It has only happend when I have a full everything, if you know what I mean! I keep telling myself it must just be wind. What do you guys think?

I am not having the flu jab as having the jab would make me il,l so I'm going to chance not having it.

I'm not keen on antenatal classes full stop but I think we will go for my DH's benefit. There was a poster at the hospital saying book at 26 weeks start by 34 weeks.


FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 12:55:00

I've seen men with bigger boobs than me, I'm sure it can be done! Hormone injections or something...grin

lumpylumps Mon 09-Sep-13 13:19:03

faithful why do you think the flu jab would make you ill?? It's not a live vaccine so it's not possible for it give you the flu. If you get ill after having it it's because you've already been exposed to flu or a cold it also takes 2weeks to give full immunity so you could catch it in those 2 weeks.

pirates ds1 has a grow clock. It's ok if one wakes up early they'll settle back down. It's if they both wake up. I have no chance. It's going to get worse to cos they're going in the same room next month.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 13:45:08

lib haha oh wow! I've been one of the lucky ones sickness wise but will take the beige foods wink - if you just send me your Facebook link in a message i can add you to my personal account then i can add you to the group!

also, those who asked to be added the other day - i haven't had any friend requests from either so let me know if i need to send anything! xx

faithfulandtruthful Mon 09-Sep-13 13:53:48

Lumpy I have ME and everyone I know (who has ME) who has ever had it has had a relaps in their health post jab. I have been avoiding it for years. Plus it will only vaccinate you against which ever flu strain 'they' think is likely to be virralant this season, so you can have the jab and still get a different strain of flu. So for me the risk of getting flu is lower than the risk of causing a decline in health. If I didn't have ME I'd get it.


I think maybe I should ask for the flu jab. I read somewhere that the average person gets it every ten years so I'm due to get it again. I can't do flu in pregnancy a second time. It would kill me.

I'm very envy of DP right now. He's posted pics on Facebook of himself and his brother on the beach in Turkey where it's 30+ degrees while I'm hiding under my duvet to keep warm. Grrrrr.

faithfulandtruthful Mon 09-Sep-13 14:07:51

Does anyone know the cost of antenatal classes?

lumpylumps Mon 09-Sep-13 14:18:00

Totally different then faithful I would avoid it too!!!

Nct classes are usually £100+ nhs ones should be free.

faithfulandtruthful Mon 09-Sep-13 14:43:55

Lumpy I've had the flu about 4-5 times (proper can't get out of bed, sweats and vomiting, felt like I spent two years being sick!) over a 4 year period, plus endless colds that went on over winter after winter for years after, so I'm hoping due to my high exposure I have a certain amount of natural immunity.

On that note can you take zinc and vit c whilst preggers does anyone know? Thst is usually jow I stave off winter nasties.

TY for the cost. Feels like a lot of money to be taught to suck eggs, guess the birth bit might be useful but I already know what I want, natel hypnotherapy, home, water birth no anything (it at all possible) so I'm worried it will undermine my hypnotherapy approach. Wonder if it would help me be more informed if for some reason I end up in hosiptal.


FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 14:56:38

It does seem like a lot of money for some info you can surely get on t'internet/in a book. I want to go but I don't want to spend heaps of dosh.

I had the flu once 13 years ago. It was so bad, I still remember it 13 years later smile. I seem to get bad colds a lot though. Colds are so much worse than they sound like they are.

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 15:04:21

Faith I knew exactly what I wanted last time (hospital water birth, natal hypnotherapy, no intervention) but found the classes really useful with regard to if things didn't go to plan etc. It was also brilliant for DH - when I started mouthing off during labour about wanting an epidural it meant he could remind me why I didn't want one, he understood why things were necessary rather than just freaking out - perfect example was needing a episiotomy which I hadn't wanted but they could explain why it was needed to a person much calmer than I was by that point grin

You may be better off doing a more alternative approach rather than NHS classes though if you want a natural birth - ours were all about the negative aspects!

I found the hospital antenatal classes utterly useless. The only useful bit was the tour of the maternity unit. If I do nct it will be to make friends with others with babies/small children. All friends have children around the ages of my sons.

Um..doesn't NCT charge something like £360 for the full course of classes? Who, other than middle-class women, can afford that?

F&T, what do you have against antenatal classes? I'm curious. I do wonder if it's all necessary. Our mums didn't need classes, did they?

Chicken casserole with lardons and herby dumplings tonight with goose fat roasties.

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 15:33:27

I can. not. stop. eating today! Seriously, before I was preggo I would get to work, eat a biscuit with my tea, have a banana for lunch and go home for dinner. Today I have had Weetabix, toast, cereal bar, crisps, curry lunch pot, orange, apple, grapes, 2 donuts. When I stop eating, I start feeling sick, so I just keep eating...

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 15:34:43

It's how much?! The closes course to me only seems to last 2 sessions.

Did our mothers not have classes? I must ask...

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 15:43:44

Think I paid £170 for my NCT classes with DS, however they offer up to 90% discount if you're on a low income - if I wanted to do them this time I think they would be at least half price. Last time me and DH were both on a good salary, I was the breadwinner before quitting to be a SAHM!

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 15:45:44

They charge by the hour so it depends how long the course is. Between £15-20 PH depending on where it is. We wouldn't quite get the discount now, but would once I go on maternity leave!

PiratesMam Mon 09-Sep-13 15:48:36

I did NCT 4 years ago for my first and count some of the other mums I met as some of my best friends now. So glad I did it, don't know what I'd have done without them! However, my teacher was an absolute fruit loop and it was very much an anti-intervention session; when we all met up afterwards she made no secret of her distain for our epidurals.

£15-20 per hour excludes anyone but the middle-classes. And that really annoys me. This is why those at the bottom of the social ladder receive the poorest health care. Rant over for the time being

liberuna Mon 09-Sep-13 15:50:32


FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 15:51:29

But did you see the bit about the big discount if household income below £26K?

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 15:53:38

Bloody hell I'm not doing nct then! The ante natal classes at hospital were rubbish, but that's just the one I went to. I won't bother to do any this time, they are more suited to first timers.

I think I'm getting ill, I have the beginnings of a sore throat. I get tonsillitis every year and its hideous. Just praying that's not what it is. I've felt good today, not nauseous for a change. Just a bit retchy this afternoon but I had a breadstick and felt a little better. Might this be the 2nd trimester feeling good stuff that's meant to happen?!

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 15:54:08

Fox I might look into the discount and see how it works out.

liberuna Mon 09-Sep-13 15:56:14

Sorry. My phone seems to be having a moment.

(in a 1950's BBC radio voice) "Please continue with your normal lives while we attempt to rectify the problem as soon as possible. We apologize for any inconvenience caused"

promptly 5 big blokes take the phone round a corner into a darkened alley for a good talking to

rosyryan Mon 09-Sep-13 16:01:45

The NCT class aren't really about health care though Pram. They seem to be a big social club from what I've read. And with a 90% discount they seem fairly inclusive. Never done them though. I did the free NHS ones which were a big pile o' shite.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 16:08:08

is the 26k a year per income or joint does anyone know? not sure i want to pay that amount for how crap the ones round here sound, but as others have said may be worth it for meeting people

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 16:09:10

Joint, I'm afraid. Household income.

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 16:09:41

Household income Grey. Think £40ish of what I paid was for NCT membership for a year, which was pointless so wouldn't pay that part again!

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 16:16:14

ahh ok thanks fox and rock! what does the membership entitle you to? it all just gives me a bad vibe and i cant put my finger on why!

but where we're moving doesnt seem to have much in the way of other ways to meet other preggos unfortunately!

Me too Mummy. My throat feels tight and a bit sore and I felt nauseous earlier. Don't wanna be ill sad

Most of our mums probably didn't do classes (I know mine didn't) but they were also far less informed on just about everything. When in hospital after I was born, the nurses gave my mum a pill to dry up her milk and a packet of formula and she just did what they said without question. There was no discussion about feeding options. The pills and formula were handed out automatically.

Why should I have to pay to meet up socially with other women? Pregnancy is healthcare, no matter how you dress it up or down, and if NHS (free) classes are shit but NCT (expensive) classes are good then who is going to benefit? Not the less well-off, that's for sure. Even with discount the classes are a tenner and not everyone can afford that.

I hate institutions that are not inclusive.

I, too, have a sore throat and have had it for three days.

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 16:42:33

I can't stop sneezing & have a blocked nose! Doesn't seem like a cold though.

FoxMulder Mon 09-Sep-13 16:46:03

That's crazy about your mum being given a pill & formula Lyra! What year was this?

My mum bf us all, but I've no idea if that was the norm or if she was some kind of hippy smile

My mum was forced to have an enema!

Beccadugs Mon 09-Sep-13 16:59:24

I had no idea the NCT classes were so expensive. My MIL paid for ours as she is still best mates with about 5 ladies she met at NCT 38 years ago... She said it was non-negotiable and sorted it all put with DH... Must be more grateful next time I see her.

This was in 1971 when people were automatically expected to bottle feed. My mum said nobody in her large ward was bf their babies.
I remember seeing a woman bf her child when I was about 8 and thinking it was really weird because I'd never seen it before. Thankfully things are different now but so many people still grow up never seeing bf, think it's weird and refuse to try it themselves.

If my mum had had access to NCT all those years ago she would have had very different views on things like bf. Sadly, the poor miss out and are often left ignorant.

Lyra, breastfeeding is still considered vile on sink estates. No-one does it.

Yes, yes to your last post, Lyra.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 17:12:02

whats a sink estate pram?

my mum bf me, she doesnt however 'get' bf in public which i always thought was odd, maybe a 90s thing?

It's sad, Pram, isn't it. And those sink-estate babies probably could do with bf more than others to give them a healthier start to what could turn out to be a pretty unhealthy life. If there was more normalisation of bf - it being normal to see it everywhere, no tv programmes like Extreme Breastfeeding making it look freaky - then more people would do it.

From Wikipedia:

A sink estate is a British council housing estate characterised by high levels of economic and social deprivation. Such estates are not always high crime areas although there is a strong correlation between crime rates and sink estates in large urban areas.

faithfulandtruthful Mon 09-Sep-13 17:34:19

Pram due to my job I have paid lots of money in training over the years which covered a lot of the baby care which nct classes cover and I kind of imagine I'm going to sit there and disagree with their methods anyway. The only point would be to know about medical interventions that may happen if things go wrong and my understanding is nct push natual child birth and probably won't cover that any way. Also I'm thinking of attending Natel Hypnotherapy classes so can't really justify the cost of both plus I'm concerned that one may conflict with the other in terms of preparation for birth.

As for making friends sure start centres and other toddler groups are easy to find and cost less. I'm not too concerned about having a bunch of friends going through the same stuff as me. My life has been all about doing it alone.


Lamb Korma for dinner tonight, using a jar of Sharwoods sauce because I'm too bloody knackered to make one from scratch. My energy (what little I had) has completely disappeared over the last few days.

When am I going to learn that trying to make tea at 5pm is a nonsense when my sickness starts at 4pm? Why don't I start tea earlier??

F&T, thanks for your explanation, it makes sense in your case. Lyra, I hate to say it but pregnancy, like everything else, is class-conscious. Grr.

Could it be low blood sugar causing your sickness to start at 4pm? When not pg, I often felt sick around this time as it was a long time after lunch. Something sugary would soon sort it out.

SoSurprised Mon 09-Sep-13 17:50:44

I am really tempted to get a takeaway today but must resist temptation.
I dnt anyone locally, the NCT classes sound really good for meeting people. I work 9-5 though, I dnt know if there are any that might run over the weekend.

Jolleigh Mon 09-Sep-13 17:53:04

Smoked salmon and petit pois Philly linguine for me smile Genius tea in the sense that the title also serves as an ingredients list other than the copious amounts of black pepper I'll be milling over it

Beccadugs Mon 09-Sep-13 17:53:42

SoSurprised ours are at 8pm in a Wednesday evening. I think lots are available in the evenings, as so many first timers work.

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 17:57:08

I'm really hungry, I think we've got frozen pizza and salad. I've had such a busy day. Ds had a school dinner and dd had pasta pesto for lunch so I was lazy and they had scrambled eggs on toast, oranges and yogurts for tea. Buut... I have made flapjacks for lunch boxes and lentil and vegetable soup.

SoSurprised Mon 09-Sep-13 18:01:52

Thanks for the info Becca, I will find out about them then as I feel quite isolated at the moment. Would be nice to make some friends locally.
I have had a letter for a booking appt at the hospital coming up. Anyone know what that is for?

I'm on leftover Hungarian Goulash (pork cooked with lentils) tonight as I made a huge vat of it last night - should see me through till about Wednesday grin

Just looked at NCT classes in my area, there is only one but it is on a Monday night which is no good to DH. I've registered my interest in the class but will look at other options too. My problem is I've had very little to do with babies - never changed a nappy in my life and have no idea what to "do" with a baby, so any learning options are good for me!

MummyPig24 Mon 09-Sep-13 18:13:27

Frank when I had ds and the nurses took me down to the ward, it was about 10pm, I said "what do I do if he wakes up and cries?" They looked at me like I had two heads and said "you pick him up and feed him." I genuinely didn't know what the hell to do! You learn quick though.

HotCrossPun Mon 09-Sep-13 18:15:19

Does anybody know when the NHS classes start?

I want to sign up for everything! It's in the back of my mind that DP is a bit older than me and this might be our only child. So I'm wanting to do it all grin

Has anybody seen the belly cast thing you can get from Argos? It's only like £13 or something. I'm going to wait until my stomach looks more pregnant and less flabby first of all though.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 18:26:39

ooh glad some of us are being adventurous with the non-beige or healthy beige! i would like to say i have too but have just bought a toastie maker.

thanks lyra - i didnt think to google, my brain is gone!

frankel same - 100% no idea about even the basics! daunting!

hot what do you do with it after though?! i love the little hand/foot moulds!

grin @ Mummy

Anyone here have an iPhone 5? I'm due an upgrade now but I love my 4S and was wondering if it's worth tying myself into another 2-year contract to upgrade to a 5. As far as I can see the only differences are a longer screen and a non-glass body.

Lyra, are you kidding? My body's never heard of low blood sugar grin

Rockchick1984 Mon 09-Sep-13 19:08:09

Lyra don't upgrade yet - the next iPhone is being announced in the next few days (may even be tomorrow?) and as soon as that comes out the contracts for iPhone 5 will go about £5 a month cheaper!

Coolhand Mon 09-Sep-13 19:18:48

In terms of class issues, def a lot more support offered here to those in 'sink' estates than to others. Certainly my friend got offered additional ante-natal classes at her local Surestart, attended their breastfeeding support group in advance of birth, then had support worker call out after birth to help her with breastfeeding and access to free infant massage and baby yoga classes. She found it annoying from another perspective, almost that because of where she lived it was presumed she needed extra support to breastfeed etc, so it felt patronising.

I would have had to access paid private classes to get the same level of guidance. Don't know if that's just NI though but additional support is definitely targeted.

On NCT, don't presume they are better option offered for those with money - very much depends on the teachers which seem to vary greatly - read some of the threads on here about them. Most people use them as a chance to meet other new mums.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 19:23:26

lyra i have a 5 and 4s, its basically the same but the 5 is much lighter/nicer feeling than the 4s - i don't use it for anything out of the ordinary apart from linking with macbooks/imacs/ipads etc which is really useful but tbh don't use hardly any of the functions so not much difference in the actual capabilities for my usage.

as rock says you could wait until they announce the new one, however my contract was only £23 from carphone warehouse for unlimited internet on three anyway so not sure they'll do much cheaper surely? not sure if this offer is still on though! the only reason i got the 5 was because my contract was up and because i got the 4s when it came out it was £45 a month so it actually worked out way cheaper to get the 5!

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 19:27:42

also i got the iPhone5 about 5 months ago now, so may be worth even waiting a couple months after the new one is out and it might work out the same price, and i think the new one has a new operating system that looks pretty - i imagine it'll be more of an improvement/features etc between 5 and the new one than the 4s and the 5 if that makes sense!

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 19:29:44

sorry spamming - the operating system thing could just be a rumour though as I'm not up with tech stuff, (you can also download it probs for whatever phone you have anyway) and only see whats been posted around on social networks etc haha

Thanks Grey and Rock. I believe the new one is being announced tomorrow so I'll wait and see what features it offers. You're right, Grey, that the OS will probably be available to 4S users but I still haven't upgraded to iOS6 though I keep meaning to.
In terms of style, I prefer the glass and metal case of the 4S - the 5 looks less pretty to me. Also, if I keep my 4S I can switch to a sim-only deal which should be pretty cheap. I'm currently paying about £45 a month on O2 and that doesn't even include unlimited data. I could get that with 3 but their service here is patchy. DP is with 3 and sometimes he has connection issues.

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 19:45:18

i think you must be on the same contract i was on lyra - I've also noticed 3 has less coverage so good that your dp has it to test the waters for you haha! if you're looking sim only, i think giffgaff http://giffgaff.com/ is the cheapest by all accounts!

greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 19:45:28
greymoose Mon 09-Sep-13 19:46:37

ffs posted too soon, although i don't know about what the connection/service is like!

Thanks Grey. I'm going to shop around for a bit before deciding. I saw some good sim-only deals in Carphone Warehouse when I was in there buying DS1's first phone. I'm not too bothered about call time and inclusive texts because I have whatsapp, tango, imessage, facetime etc. All free on wifi. But I do use a lot of data so 1G per month minimum. I frequently ran out before the end of the month before I upgraded from 250mb. Or was it 500mb? Preg-brain...

lumpylumps Mon 09-Sep-13 20:03:30

I've just bought a pram!!!! icandy apple. 2nd hand £140 it's a bit bigger than I wanted and usually have a no buying before 20weeks rule but it was to much of a bargain.

Ooh, fab! Where did you get it?

SoSurprised Mon 09-Sep-13 20:27:55

Great deal lumps

Sarahb8990 Mon 09-Sep-13 20:29:13

Iv also just got a pram. Got the graco mosaic travel system and only paid £15!! God I love eBay haha

Imeg Mon 09-Sep-13 20:37:18

The main criticism I'd heard about NCT classes is that they are so keen to promote breastfeeding that they were apparently very dismissive of people's questions about formula feeding, in case they had any problems breastfeeding. The general message seemed to be that of course everyone can feed the baby themselves, and if you're having trouble with it you must be doing something wrong... I have a few friends who have done their very best to breastfeed and have been unable to, and have felt a bit of a failure, so I think that while in general it's good to promote it, there should be an acknowledgement that some people do have genuine difficulty. But as someone else said, I'm sure it depends very much on the teacher/leader.
I have quite a few friends who've had babies but none of them live nearby so it would be good to meet other people. I do know quite a few retired people locally though and many of them have experience of both children and grandchildren so I'm hoping they will be useful support!