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Due End Nov/Beg Dec 2013 With DC#2(174 Posts)
Hi everyone, was going to join one of the November threads, but they're so full already and I'm only about 6 weeks pg, so feel a bit behind some of the others!
Been ttc for about 6 months and delighted to find out I was pg as ds took 2 years ttc. Ds is now 20 months. Don't have an actual due date yet as I have really long cycles and havn't had booking appointment or anything yet.
No majorly troublesome symptoms as yet, just sore boobs, more tired than usual and digestion bit delicate. Don't even feel pg some days, so it's pretty hard to believe sometimes!
Look forward to speaking to anyone else!
Hi tiny, congrats. I am on the due in December board but would love to join you too.
My DD is 21 months, and my GP reckons I'm due 13th December. I was really sick (vom almost every day for 7 months) when preg with DD (can't really remember when it started though) and so far feel ok this time round, although I guess it is early days. Think I'm only 5 weeks...
Have you told anyone yet? I have to stop asking DD if she'd like a baby or she might start giving the game away by babbling about babies!
Hi yoga, congrats to you too! I have told a couple of close friends as I had to tell SOMEONE! Really want to tell my mum but my sis just had a baby and mum is really busy helping her and might have a nervous breakdown if I tell her my news! Have you told anyone? That's nice both our dc#1 are about the same age too!
Hope you don't get morning sickness so bad this time round. I read somewhere that often with a second pregnancy your body is more 'used to' it and symptoms often aren't so bad. That said I've been feeling pretty nauseous off and on since the weekend and the only thing that helps is to eat! Feel hungry all the time, but can't eat very much without feeling over-full and getting indigestion. The joys! Have a good weekend!
Thanks - it was a strange kind of sick, almost didn't mind, and there definitely were some comedy moments...
I told my best friend over the weekend, as we were at a hen do together, and (it was a great excuse to tell someone) she could help cover up the fact I wasn't drinking.
I'd really like to tell my sister, and a couple of other friends. It was really nice talking about it over the weekend and making it feel more real. My parents in law are coming to stay for a few days tomorrow and wonder if they'll twig. I reckon my mum would prefer to know when we've had the 12 week scan (think she'd worry on my behalf) so our plan is to keep it to ourselves until then.
I'm quite excited for my DD about the prospect of her being a big sister (although I'm sure it'll be tricky for everyone for a while) and also, me and DP are thinking we'll just have 2 kids so I'm super excited to think that soon we'll have the shape of our family iyswim. Hopefully meet the final member in December... Anyway, enough jabbering. Hope you guys have a good weekend too!
Hi yoga, did you have a good weekend? How are your symptoms? I've not been as nauseous as last time, so far! Just this awful heartburn and indigestion every evening.
I have been reading some of my toddler books over the weekend to see the best way of handling the new sibling situation. Took my ds to visit his little cousin on Fri and he was not amused to say the least when I held her. He wanted me to pick him up! Which is fine but he weighs almost 2 stone! Thinking of getting him some books which help explain it for his age.
I've also been thinking about what stuff I'll need to buy, which thankfully isn't a lot, although the major thing will be the pram situation. I really don't want to get a double buggy as I'm quite small and can barely lug a single pram around! Was thinking about one of those buggy boards that fit on the existing pram as I really like my pram and would prefer to use it again. Just not sure if ds will be capable of that much walking by that point. What are you thinking about this?
Hi can I join?
I feel like a real imposter on the december thread as actually due 29th November. There are so many people on there i'm struggling to follow it. I told my sister, as she is due her first in October. I was trying to keep it from my mum as my dad has been away for a few weeks and wanted to tell them together. But. I'm a big blabber mouth and told her on Saturday. I've been sick with a viral thing for a few weeks and that coupled with nausea and extreme fatigue has turned me into a major whinger. She has been helping me a lot with DS ( who was 8 months on Monday), and I really felt that I needed to explain. That opened the floodgates and now DH's family and a few close friends know. I know you're supposed to wait until 12 weeks but if something was to go wrong they would be told anyway.
#1 will only be 15 months when #2 arrives. I'm calling it a planned surprise! Like you Tiny it took 2 years TTC DS so 1 month this time is a big shock. My mum keeps saying ''you'll be so busy''. My answer is that our grandmothers had children almost yearly (I'm Irish) and got on just fine. My mums answer was ''Yes but they expected a lot less from life than you do''. I think that roughly translates as ''you're spoilt''.
Extremely early to be thinking about it but I will have to buy a new buggy. I love ours so the thought of a weighty double with no storage does Not appeal!
Well, I better do some work...
Hi tiny and welcome aoifen! I had a good weekend, DP's dad and his partner came to stay, and DD was a total charmer, all seemed to have a good time. And they all went for a walk on Sunday morning while I lay on the sofa and thought about the work I should be doing...
We've got a buggy board already as DD's childminder uses it when she looks after other kids as well as DD. I think it's quite good at this age, although DD doesn't use it much with me. Still wants to walk or be carried and not quite walking far enough reliably for me to leave the buggy behind. A friend has offered me her phil and teds double which looks great. Was thinking I'd use that for days out, single and buggy board for short journeys.
Aoifen - I reeeeeally want to tell people, especially my sister, but DP and I have agreed in theory to wait until 12 week scan. We have lots of holidays and a couple of weddings before then, one of which I'm 'best woman' for....
Hello and welcome Aoifen! I agree some of the threads are so long it gets too complicated trying to follow it! I can't wait to tell people either, but DH wants to wait til the scan (which I got an appointment through for today!) but I don't see the point as we would also tell close family if something went wrong anyway. I still may tell my mum if it comes up, we're pretty close so it's hard to keep things from her without her guessing. I fear her reaction similar to yours Aoifen, as I had a hard time coping first time round and she keeps saying things like 'well you'd better not have any more then...'
As for buggies, if I can borrow or pick up a cheap double I may get one, but think I'm going to go for the buggy board as well, then at least I have the option if DS is having an 'off' day and refuses to walk!
Meant to ask, don't know if it's just me but my jeans etc. all feel too tight already. I havn't actually put on any weight, but just can't stand anything tight round my waist. Is anyone the same?
Hope you feel better soon Aoifen and enjoy your holidays and wedding Yoga!
Tiny - I am definitely feeling bloated this time. I had a dream pregnancy last time and didnt look pregnant for quite a while. THis one so far is entirely different. I'm just glad I didn't waste any time doing sit-ups after DS was born!
Sorry second part of same post -
Everybody I've spoken to says that going from 1-2 is easier than having your first. Although we aren't experts and every baby is different - we do know the basics, and will be prepared for the sleep deprivation! For me, because I didn't have many siblings/neices or nephews close by everything had to be learnt on the job with DS.
I have been wearing pregnancy leggings for the past couple if days!! Just 6 weeks preg! Just feel a but bloated around my tum and want to be super comfy (slobby...)
I'm sure having 2 kids will have its challenges, but in terms if HUGE upheaval, life change, massive rite of passage that lasts ages, we've done that already! Becoming a mum was one hell of a roller coaster for me, I had so much anxiety that I really wasn't used to. I'm hoping it is easier second time round anyway!
My pregnancy seems to be a bit lighter on symptoms so far, but maybe it is early days. I feel tired a bit, and sometimes get that sicky/I need to eat something feeling, but nowhere near as rubbish as I felt with DD.
Thanks for the reassurance guys. To be honest I was such a wreck with anxiety with ds that I couldn't eat or sleep or indeed function at all and it does worry me that I may find it difficult coping with two, especially as I hope to be able to breastfeed this time (failed last time due to lack of support from hosp/midwives and debility of C section). At least as you say Aoifen, I now know the basics whereas I had never even changed a nappy before ds!
Am glad you said you're already wearing pregnancy leggings Yoga, as I was considering going and digging them out of the loft, but felt it was too soon, but if you're doing it then I don't feel so bad! I'm really small and was like an elephant when pg with ds, who weighed in at a hefty 9lb 3oz! (DH was almost 11lb when he was born, so we're guessing its genetic) Am really hoping this one isn't so big as my little frame could barely cope last time and I was on crutches near the end. I also got sick of people saying things like 'have you not had it yet?' when I was only like 6 or 7 months! I guess when you're small any bump looks very obvious.
Glad you're symptoms are bit lighter this time too Yoga. I'm the same although wonder if it may just still be too early (am 7 and a bit weeks).
Meant to say, I got my appointments in for my booking and scan today, feels a bit more real now!
It sounds like you had it quite rough tiny, hopefully this time will be MUCH easier. I really feel for you about the breast feeding, I had problems with it, nothing anyone could do to help in hospital at all, no latch, no feeding just constant failed attempts on top of hand expressing, and then formula and sterilising - and obviously very little sleep. Exhausting and depressing. My community midwife recommended nipple shields which were a miracle, used for months and made breast feeding possible in the end, but the while thing was so so stressful. Good luck this time round, I'm sure we can talk about it more nearer the time and offer each other support.
I'm small too, but my big belly looks about 3 or 4 months pregnant! One of the things I'm looking forward to about having an actual bump is being able to show it off, rather than try to disguise that area with layers/loose tops. Haven't had a flat tum since I took up beer drinking at university... Sorry to hear you were using crutches last pregnancy, that must have been rough. Here 's hoping for an easy ride this time round!
Hi there, well definetly going into the loft this afternoon to dig out the preg leggings as I too seem to have ended up looking about 3 or 4 months preg over the weekend and my jeans and leggings are all really uncomfortable now. Just wondering how I'm going to hide it for another month!
Unfortunately morning sickness arrived with a bang yesterday, thought I'd got away with it this time, but apparently not so. however this morning I ate dry crackers before getting out of bed and put on those travel sickness wrist bands and so far today (touch wood) have not felt just so bad.
Yoga - yes would love to discuss bf with you nearer time. Am hoping will have put good support network in place this time as I have a couple of close friends who have bf now.
I hope you had a nice weekend. We were at my friends baby's 1st birthday yesterday. It was great fun - she has a room off the kitchen which she's turned into a kind of soft room. So DS spent a lot of the afternoon in there having fun with the other babies. He started crawling/ dragging himself along by the arms the other day so need to properly babyproof the house. DH is abroad again - the second week out of 4. So I guess I'll be going for my first hospital visit with my mum. Again. Last year was unavoidable but this time it's idiotic forgetfulness on his part so I'm a bit annoyed. I was 100% confident the last time but have a small worry in the back of my mind in this pregnancy so really would prefer him to be there.
I'm also planning to BF again. The first 2 weeks were pretty grim but we loved it after that. We also needed shields, but they came too late to avoid mastitis and my left boob switching off. Thankfully I am no longer lopsided and vain though it is one of my priorities this time will be keeping both in working order .
I think my morning sickness and fatigue are finally improving. Today is the first time in weeks that I felt able for more than the bare minimum. Funny - had also resorted to the travel bands over the last few days and they do help.
Well i'm off to bed - such a granny!
Hi girls, Aoifen, hope you get the result you want and everything works out ok. When is your appointment? Mine is a week away and my scan is on the 15th.
Travel sickness bands and regular snacking seem to be keeping the nausea at bay and I think the indigestion may have passed, although this has been replaced by extreme fatigue today. My sis-in-law is staying tonight and I nearly collapsed trying to put sheets on the spare bed this morning! She's actually 7 months pregnant so it's going to be weird having to keep quiet while she's here!
My appointment and scan are next Wednesday. It may seem a bit crazy but I've booked a private one for tomorrow. DH will be home tomorrow so we can go together. That way (hopefully) there will be no surprises next week and I can go alone and do some work whilst I wait! Seriously need to shake myself up and get out and enjoy the nice weather! Glad the nausea is settling Tiny - roll on trimester 2 and the 'blooming' phase...
Happy Friday all.Had my scan yesterday, all is it should be and one baby only! Have a lovely weekend
Oh I'm so glad Aoifen, that's great news!x
Horray, so pleased you've had a good scan Aoifen and seen your baby. Wow.
Tiny - did you have your scan today? Hope it went well.
I've just got back from France (felt very sorry for myself not being able to enjoy all the wine and cheese and salami and stuff I would usually have gorged on) where we ended up telling the friends we stayed with, AND my DP's dad and his partner. It meant they were a lot of more understanding of me being pretty useless (I've been so tired, but strangely the nausea really comes and goes, not like last time when it was always there in the background)
Good luck for second scan tomorrow Aoifen!
Your trip to France sounds lovely Yoga, it's good just to get away even if you can't enjoy what you normally would. My midwife appointment is tommorow, but my scan isn't for another two weeks. Feeling bit nervous about it, just hoping everything's ok.
Told my mum yesterday and her first words were "well that explains why you've been looking so awful the last few weeks" !!! Thanks mum, didn't think I looked that bad! She was happy for me really though and it's a weight off my mind as I kept almost putting my foot in it and I kept thinking she would guess.
I'm pretty tired too, but the nausea comes and goes and definetly isn't as bad as last time. Just feeling very run down - mouth ulcers and cold sores just now. Hungry all the time, in fact just getting ready to go to bed and feel like I need to eat again. Craving salt, like crisps, which I never normally eat.
Anyway, good night all.x
Hope you guys had a good night, I've been up with DD since 5... We did have a lovely time in France, DD loved it and it was really good spending time together as a three. I'm really looking forward to being a four person family but I'm trying to savour the relative harmony of there being just the three of us.
Sorry i got it wrong about your scan dates tiny. I've got to wait ages too. I'm excited and nervous, trying not to think about it too much. Got midwife appointment booking in next Thursday, so hope she listens for (and hears) a heartbeat!
Hope it feels good that your mum knows and is happy for you tiny. I'm looking forward to telling mine, but think she's probably guessed already as I wasn't drinking at a big family party recently. I might cave in and tell her after midwife appointment if we hear a heartbeat...
Your holiday sounds lovely yoga - even if it was a bit more tame than usual. We are taking a week off in a few weeks. I was supposed to organise something abroad but between trying to study/feeling rubbish/and DH not being around I haven't got around to it. Going to do countryside break then hopefully some sun in September.
Good luck with your appointment Tiny. I'm sitting in the consultant waiting room now. DS had a dislocatable hip so we had regular hospital visits until recently. I'm wondering if they do a loyalty card for the car park it feels like I'm always here!
I know what you mean yoga about enjoying being a trio. I'm feeling advance guilt that DS is going to have us to himself for such a short time. Also realised on Monday that it's going to be tricky to keep the water babies up for 2. We are so lucky though, have a few friends having fertility treatment at present. Delighted to avoid that.
Just heard that my sister in law had a baby girl this AM
Hi girls, had my booking in appointment yesterday. It went ok, but I had really high levels of glucose showing up in my urine, so I'm now just worrying about that. Other than that I was told I can choose to have another section or a natural birth, still very undecided as there are risks with both. I was also told to take vitamin D as we don't get enough sun in Scotland and babies are being born with rickets - can you believe that? Can't remember when the midwife said I was to start taking it though, as there was so much information it was a lot to take in. Just really worried about the glucose.
I'm sorry to hear about the glucose Tiny - i assume you werent diabetic in the previous pregnancy. my understanding is that they'll recheck an early morning sample which often reads clear, so try not to panic just yet!
Babies get vit d supplementation here but not recommended at the minute for pregnant mums. DS absolutely loves his, he starts licking his lips the minute he smells it.
I didn't realise you had a CS last time. I did a Gentlebirth programme last pregnancy. It's a bit hippyish but based on the fact that pain increases with anxiety and stress and so focuses on relaxation. It didn't do too much for me when the time came but was great during the pregnancy. A friend however found it amazing during labour and felt she didn't need any pain relief. The point of this long winded story is that they do a VBAC programme if you decide to go that route.
DH arrived home this afternoon so i have absolved myself of responsibility for DS who was awake teething on and off all night. If only I had the energy to actually go and do something!
Tiny, sorry to hear you've been worried about glucose levels. Are they planning to check again? Did they give you info on what could be done? I don't know much about it, but really feel for you. I hope you're not getting too stressed about it.
I can't believe they are so worried about rickets in Scotland - it is not that dark! I used to live in Edinburgh and always thought the light was really beautiful, and daylight hours aren't that different from where I am now (London). Anyway, I'm sure vitiamin d is a good thing to top up on - doesn't it affect your mood too, make you more cheerful? Maybe I should take some...
What made the cs necessary first time round tiny? Are you worried same thing might happen again? A friend if mine laboured for hours but her DS head was stuck and eventually had cs and was told she might need another next time round as shape of her pelvis could have played a part. But she is planning to consult an independent midwife as more active assistance could help next time? I did hypnobirthing which I found really helpful, it helped me feel that I could be calm and hold it together whatever shape my labour took (I wasn't really tested though! Just lasted 6 hours, vaginal birth with episiotomy)
Nice news about your sister in law aoifen, and pleased your DH is back to take over some childcare. I'm still finding things pretty tiring and I think my DD is getting a bit fed up of me being so low energy. I'm hoping this only lasts another month, then we'll start being all glowy and full of energy for the second trimester... Fingers crossed.
Thanks Aoifen. I wasn't diabetic before, although I did have high glucose show up frequently and then a pretty large baby, so maybe it just wasn't diagnosed. It worries me as they didn't find out I was anaemic until I was admitted to hospital and almost had to have a blood transfusion as I could barely breathe. I phoned the clinic today to try and speak to someone about it, just for some reassurance but was told they were too busy. Doesn't really fill me full of confidence. However my mum has a friend who was really high up in midwifery and I may be able to speak to her even though she's retired now.
I'd be interested in the Gentlebirth programme whatever I decide as my anxiety is so bad even at the moment. Looked into pregnancy yoga classes today, but most you have to be 16 weeks before you can start and they are quite expensive.
My DS also teething at the moment, molars seem to all be coming through at once, it's such as shame for them, must be so painful for them.
Sorry you're feeling so anxious tiny, it's horrible.
Some pregnancy yoga classes let you start when you're 12 weeks and some teachers might not mind if you start a bit earlier - are there any others you could check out? I find yoga and meditation techniques really help with anxiety. I've got a lovely book called 'mother's breath' by uma dinsmore-tuli - maybe you could order it from the library? It's got lots of gentle exercises you can do by yourself. But it is really nice to practice with others, so worthwhile looking for other classes. Sometimes they are cheaper in gyms? Or sometimes yoga centres have cheap classes (prob not preg ones though). I'm still doing regular yoga (quite gently) and avoiding stuff where you have to hold your breath or pump your tummy muscles. It might beceirth looking to see if there any 'restorative yoga' classes near you. They could be good for now, very restful and calming... Sorry for stream of consciousness post - I hope some of it is useful...
Thanks Yoga, that's all very useful. Had c section first time as induction failed. Tbh I think ds was lying diagonally, like head at my hip rather than down the way, but no-one seemed to notice it other than me! He was so big he seemed to have been stuck in that same position for the last 2 months. Makes you wonder doesn't it if the mw didn't know that?
They didn't seem particularly concerned about the glucose thing, so my options are call the clinic again tommorow and see if I can speak to someone or hand a first morning urine in to my GP for testing. My dh was angry that they said they were too busy to talk to me today and I'm angry at myself for just accepting it and not speaking up for myself. Maybe I should just phone again tommorow and insist that someone call me when they are less busy.
Oh dear, I'm having less faith in the medical profession as time goes on. And after reading the ELCS v VBAC leaflet I told dh I didn't want either!
Got my vit D today, so start it tommorow. Hope everyone well, sweet dreams.x
Gah, failed induction sounds horrible tiny. Crazy they didn't check the position of your DS, it does make you wonder. You just trust the professionals to know what they're doing, and it's really scary when they get it wrong. At least it's not a scenario that's likely to play out again. What are your fears about vbac - is it about the scar? It must be horrible to be faced with two 'options' you don't want, not really a choice at all. Does it help to think about the positives rather than the negatives, the risks must be quite small even though they sound scary...
I reckon it sounds like a good plan to request your GP calls you to talk through the glucose stuff. It might put your mind at ease, and to do a morning sample to double check.
I know it's a bit early but I was thinking I might start listening to my hypnobirthing rainbow relaxation cd - it's full of positive stuff and really relaxing. There's a bit in it about having the confidence to speak out, ask questions, make your views known. I didn't really engage with that part before - just went with the flow and trusted the midwives to do what they thought best, but I feel a bit more savvy now, like I'd prefer to ask more questions and have a better understanding if how things are going.
Hope the vit d pills are good tiny!
Hi girls, how are you? I'm afraid I had a setback with my back problem this week so have been out of action for a few days. Thankfully my osteopath managed to treat me yesterday and I'm feeling a lot better now. Other god news is my glucose is absolutely fine, GP checked it yesterday. (so I can still eat chocolate yippee!)
Yoga - my fears about VBAC are really that I would have to be constantly monitored due to my previous c section, which means I would be totally immobile and stuck on my back the whole time, which is the worst thing I can do for my back condition. As there's no telling how long that would be, at least with another section the time immobilised would be limited. When I was in being induced I was immobilised for 2 days under constant monitoring, then had the section and a further 3 days immobility and I think that's why my recovery was so horrendous. After the week I've just had with my back also, Its more or less made up my mind for me.
Your CD sounds good too Yoga. I just ordered a pregnancy yoga DVD to try out so waiting for that to arrive. Just not sure I can commit to a class as the preg ones I looked at you had to pay for the course in advance and it was quite expensive and if I have another bad spell with my back I can't move never mind attend a class! Hoping when our local leisure centre opens up in a couple of weeks they may have something suitable. Am going to do aquanatal anyway as you can just turn up on the day. When is your scan now? Mine's next week, can't wait! Take care.
Hi Tiny, sorry to hear about your back. Sounds a right pain, having to contend with that AS WELL as general labour pain. At least it sounds like it's helped you make a decision about the birth. Horray for good glucose test! That's a relief.
I had my midwife appointment today, I have put on half a stone and have the biggest pot belly. She admitted I looked about 14 weeks preg (although I reckon I'm only 9 weeks gone) - I was hoping she might offer an earlier scan to check dates, but no. Got to wait until 30th may, argh!
So exciting that yours is next week! You'll see your baby!
Oh, and aqua natal sounds great. Did you do it last time round? I might look to see if there's a class near me... I imagine it's good with your back problem as the water supports you while you move. I might try and go swimming too, once spring settles in to stay. We've got a lovely open air pool quite close (I am quite lazy though...)
Hi Yoga, I think half a stone is pretty normal. I've actually not put on any weight yet, but I also have a pot belly and boobs feel HUGE, so don't know how that works. If it's any consolation I put on almost 4 stone last time and when you're only 7 stone normally, that's quite a difference! Glad you had your midwife appointment. Only two days 'til my scan so getting pretty excited!
I didn't do aqua natal last time as there wasn't anywhere nearby. You're brave even considering an outdoor pool! It's like winter here today - hailstones and everything!
Hi tiny, hope your scan went well. I've been having dreams that I'm having twins as my tum is soooo big... Guess I'll find out in 2 weeks (my scan is on 30th)
Does DC1 know you're pregnant? We're not going to 'tell' DD until after the scan, but we still talk about it in front of her. Not sure how much she understands at the moment. We've definitely had days where I think she's fed up with me being tired and pregnant, not quite as fun and energetic as used to be. Or maybe it's just terrible twos and DD discovering her temper... Part of me thinks it's probably good for her to gradually get used to not having me totally at her neck and call so DC2 won't come as such a shock.
I've also dipped into the 'becoming Mary poppins coping with toddler and newborn' thread to get an insight into what it might be like. Terrifying!
Hope all is well with you guys
Hi yoga, yes my scan went well thanks. Everything looks fine as far as they can see and we have one active baby! (DS was/is incredible active so it's no surprise really!) In fact he/she was so active we were there for ages and I kept having to get up and move around to try and get him/her into a better position so they could get the measurements! they calculated me to be 12 weeks, so due date 27th November, but I know I'm only about 11.5 weeks. Both DH and I both feel more relieved now anyway and I'm just glad there's actually a baby in there and I havn't been imagining the whole thing!
That's weird you've been having twin dreams! Will be interesting to see if your hunch is true! I told my friend yesterday (she has twins!) as she was watching DS for me and she said she was looking at me yesterday and thought I had a bit of a bump! I definetly do now! Havn't told DS yet, but also speak about it in front of him, havn't decided when to officially tell him, but he is already used to me not being able to do a lot of things because of my back, so for him things havn't changed that dramatically so far.
I'm a big Gina Ford fan and have been reading her 'Contented Baby with toddler' book for coping strategies, although have given up last couple of weeks. Funnily enough the things I was panicking about before seemed really trivial after that hapenned to my back last week, guess it just helped put things into perspective.
Horray! So pleased your scan went well, that's wonderful.
I didn't read the Gina Ford book for DD but would be interested to hear tips from her on keeping sane with a baby and toddler.
Really sorry about your back problems, wishing you a good recovery and that it doesn't make things too hard x
Hi ladies, how are we doing? Sorry I havn't checked in for long, but have been unable to sit due to my back prob, hence very little time spent on computer. Doing ok other than that though. Just wondered if you used a nursing chair last time at all? I didn't but was considering getting one this time. Also, at 13 weeks I now look about 5 months preg! What am I going to be like by the end! Most def in maternity clothes now. Hope you're well.
Hi tiny - I've just come back from 12 week scan. All good, it was so lovely to see a little baby wriggling around. Amazing. It feels a lot more real now, despite it still feeling quite unreal, if you know what I mean.
Sorry your back is so bad, gave you got one of those pregnancy balls to sit on? I don't use a nursing chair but reckon they sound good. There was an amazing (and beautiful) but ridiculously expensive one in a posh baby shop near me. I used to go in there and feed DD almost every week at one point.
Are you going to find out the gender this time round? We didn't with DD and don't think we will this time either. But I think it's a boy...
I have been in maternity leggings/jeans for ages now, but have now progresses onto preg tops too! Just out one on. My tummy looks 5 months too, at least I can show it off now rather than the rubbish job of hiding it I've been doing!
Hope the sun comes out again soon, I'm finding it hard to do fun stuff with DD with the weather so bad (and my energy levels pretty low). Although I don't feel as rotten as I did a few weeks back. Fingers crossed for second trimesters where we feel full of beans!
Sorry for post riddled with typos...
New due date is 8th December, so all foing well they'll be here for Xmas!
Hi Yoga, really glad your scan went well, it's lovely to see isn't it?
I do have one of those gym ball things, but unfortunately can't sit at all at the moment as it's my tailbone that's the problem.
We found out gender last time round as my dh really wanted to. I wanted to keep it a surprise, but he talked me round. I think we will this time too, as at the moment our spare room is pink and I'd like to know if we're going to have to paint it or not! We both felt right from the start last time that it was a boy, but don't have any feeling at all this time - weird. My symptoms have been different, but I don't know if that means anything or not! What makes you think you're having a boy this time?
Yes it's good to show it off now and not have to try and hide it! A couple of my friends had actually guessed before I even told them! Difficult to hide isn't it?
We've been quite lucky here and had a couple of sunny days and ds loves to play in the garden so hoping we get a few more days. I feel bad for him as I'm so knackered and also can't do a lot with him because of my back. Hope the sun starts to shine for you too!
My due date is 27th Nov, but they think I'm a week further along, so I don't think it's 'til beginning of Dec.
Hi everybody, just realised there were antinatl threads this morning, and decided to join this one because originally I had a scan at 6w6d which made my due dae 4th Dec, which I thought was exactly correct according to my LMP and when I think I concieved, but then had a scan at which they put me 12w5d (when I was expecting to be 11w5d) putting me in nearly the exact position as tinyflutterby. My new due date is 27th Nov...but I think it's the start of December. Hope everyone is keeping well.
Welcome Lilstar! We are both due the same day then! How are you feeling now? Have some of the early pregnancy symptoms passed yet?
Yeh we are both at the exact same stage of our pregnancies which is nice. I still haven't told many people I am actually expecting so it's good to have others to chat with in the same situation. I have been keeping not too bad so far. Had a UTI early on, a couple of weeks of sickness/nausea and of course the dreaded tiredness (which is still here but not as bad). Starting to see my belly getting bigger now though! How have you been keeping so far is your bump showing much yet?
Hi Lilstar, I'm not doing so bad now, to be honest my symptoms were never as bad this time as first time round anyway so I feel very lucky. Like you, tiredness was the worst thing, but I think that is also passing now.
I am very petite normally so I'm afraid my bump has had nowhere to hide since about 11 weeks and a couple of my friends guessed before I even told them! Unfortunately we were all struck down with a horrendous stomach bug over the weekend and I lost a lot of weight, but starting to get my appetite back now so that's good.
I've actually been able to feel the baby move for about 2 weeks now, which I know is really early, but again it could be that I'm small and it doesn't really have anywhere to hide. That's the most amazing thing about being pregnant I think. Got my second midwife appointment tommorow so hoping I'll get to hear the heartbeat and dh coming along too so that will be good.
Started potty training my ds today so off to lie down - knackered! Good night!
Welcome lilstar! And wow, Tiny - how wonderful to be feeling your baby move. I think I can a teeny bit, but not sure if I'm just imagining it - it's quite subtle for me, can't wait for it to get a little stronger and more obvious. I agree it's the most amazing thing about being preg. Good luck for hearing the heartbeat tomorrow, that'll be lovely having your DH there too.
I've definitely got more energy than a few weeks back, but still not full of beans. I find I feel quite groggy and crap if I've been rushing around, so trying to rest as much as possible.
Well done for getting on it with the potty training tiny, I defo want to try and train DD before baby number 2 arrives but we're going on a long plane journey in August so thought I'd wait until after that. You'll have to let us know your tips...
DH is in a bit of a sulk today, think he's a bit fed up of having to do more around the house as I'm a lot slower at getting things done now. I'm not pushing myself to whizz around and keep on top of things, but still finding things tiring. Ah well, hope he snaps out of it soon. He's generally very understanding and supportive but I don't actually think he gets how exhausting being pregnant can be. We had a chat about it last week, he's probably forgotten, or is just super tired himself too.
Have a good night all!
Thanks for the welcome yogafan!
It is lovely when you start to feel the baby move. I remember with DD just being engrossed in the movements, especially later on when I could just watch my belly just dancing around with the kicks. Funnily enough I felt at around 13w5d what I was convinced was flutterings of movements this time, but I haven't felt it since. I know it won't be long though!
Tomorrow I also have my 16 week appointment. Would love to hear the heartbeat. DP is working so I'm going solo but hoping they might let me record it if the use the doppler.
Good luck with the potty training you pair. Personally, that's a distant memory for me. By the time this DC arrives, my DD (only other child) will be 14!
I do however work in a nursery. I work with the very young ones atm (under 2s), but normally if they are ready, they start showing interest on their own and take to it like ducks to water. Sometimes a little timer helps and reminds them to try every so often, less accidents means the don't lose confidence.
Hope you both have good appointments today and get to hear heartbeats - fingers crossed GP/midwife is good with the Doppler.
Thanks for the potty training insight, good we've got a pro on board!
Hello! A lot of the November due peeps have moved over to a Facebook group (easier to manage conversations and add photos etc) there are a few due at the end of the month as well etc and newbies are always welcome! I can't add you myself but if you go to the November 2013 thread and ask, I'm sure someone (that can) will add you!
I don't feel like a pro at all yoga! Infact it's pretty daunting for me this whole having a lil baby after so long. It's one thing looking after other peoples kids to having your own. Besides, i'm a great believer in mum always knows best. Anyone can hand out 'tips' but we all know our own children best.
Look forward to hearing how u get on at your apt today tiny!
Hey Misstweed! Cheers for the fb info. Maybe you can inbox a link to the page? I might not join for a few weeks because i have only told 3 people I am ecpecting. Cat will be out the bag in a few weeks tho.
Have a good day everyone.
Lilstar, the FB page is a secret group so it doesn't appear on you timeline for everyone to see (I wouldn't want all my friends and family reading about some of the stuff we talk about on there!! Lol) as its a private group I can't add a link as its a secret one and so doesn't even appear if you search for it on FB. When you're ready to join.. Head over to the nov 2013 thread where someone can add you
Cheers misstweed, afraid that I'm waaaay behind the times and am not on Facebook yet!
That's great MissTweed will do! Always nice to share stories and friendly advice . What date are you due?
Hi everyone, how are we all?
We got to hear the heartbeat at my appointment last week so that was pretty exciting and I'm sure the movements are definetly movements now, although can only really feel it when I get the chance to sit down and rest (which isn't often!).
Yoga, glad someone else in the same boat regarding potty training. It's been a week now and ds is dong really well going for a pee with hardly any accidents, but has become so terrified of doing a poo and is holding it in, to the point where he asks to go every two minutes but doesn't want to sit and then it ends up on the floor as he is so desperate. Honestly yesterday was a nightmare, with about 100 trips to the bathroom and him doing nothing and I was so exhausted last night was thinking about giving up.
Lilstar - hoping you may be able to shed some light? At least your older child should be fairly independent at 14 - will they help you do you think? It's interesting to get that perspective on things as I am constantly worrying about how I'll cope with a baby and a toddler.
Yoga - when is your next mw appointment? I have my 20 week scan in 3 weeks! Can't believe how quickly it's going compared to first time round!
I am (reluctantly) on fb, but not too familiar with how groups work etc. so happy to stick with this if anyone else is.x
I'm good thanks, still just the dreaded tiredness getting me, but it's bareable! I was gutted I never got to hear the heartbeat at my apt. Midwife said it's not "standard procedure" at this stage, so I'm now looking forward to my scan for that think but that's on the 19th July, so a while till then! What date is yours? I am already feeling nervous about the scan. I'm still not feeling movement, not worried about that yet, but it's is just making me more certain that my initial due date of 4/12 is more accurate.
Sorry to hear you're exhausted with the trials of toilet training but to be honest, I wouldn't give up, sounds like he is doing really well if he is having hardly any accidents after just a week. I remember my DD going through a stage of not wanting to poo. It's hard to know what to do for them but I remember just sitting infront of her when she was on the toilet (she had one of those little inserts), reassuring her that she would feel better once she had done it. Eventually after she done it, she never seemed to go through that stage again. I think it's quite common. If you can calm him down enough, you could try reading a story to him while he tries, or see how he responds with a sticker chart (one type of sticker for going for a wee and his favourite kind for doing a poo). Probably important to up his fibre/water intake because him resisting will be making him constipated, and more difficult to "go". It can be a vicious circle because then it's sore and they don't understand. How are you getting on today with it?
I'm not really too worried about practical help when DC is born, because as you say DD will be 14, fairly independent and DP is supportive. It's more just the idea of doing it all over again when I had resigned myself to not having any more children. DD is due to go in for an operation but I don't have a date for that. They said nearer autumn, so I am worried her recovery might clash with DC's arrival. Which is also part of the reason why I'm hoping to get an ELCS, so I can at least plan for that (would have helped if I'd planned a bit better in the first place lol) x
Hi all, hope you're doing well today.
How lovely that you got to hear the heartbeat tiny, I really hope we get to hear it too (our appointment is next week, with the GP rather than the midwife). Fingers crossed. We only saw it at the 12 week scan, as the sound wasn't on so we couldn't hear the gorgeous thud thud thud.
Sounds like the potty training is going well tiny, don't give up! I hear that holding poo in is really common, hopefully will sort itself out soon. Lots of fibre and dried fruit to help things move easily?! Sorry it's so tiring though, must be a real killer added onto preg tiredness and general exhaustion of looking after a toddler. Great advice from lilstar, thank you. I have ordered a book to start reading to DD to prepare her, and some star stickers - thinking of fashioning a sticker chart or something. I've heard of others rewarding with a chocolate button but I can't imagine my DD being content with just one, she'd demand the whole bag and I can't face that kind of battle as well as trying to approach potty training calmly.
Lilstar - hope you get your planned ELCS and that there's a nice lot of space between that and your DD's operation, must be tricky knowing that two big things are coming up at the end of the year. Hope it goes smoothly. Is your DD excited about having a little brother/sister? Will you find out the sex?
My 20 week scan 25th July - AGES away!
Hi Lilstar and Yoga!
Thanks very much for the tips although I have to say I've tried all of those things and more with ds and potty training, without any success! I just don't know why he has become so scared as he was fine the first few days. Today hasn't been much better I'm afraid and he actually did a poo during the night in his nappy. Glad he did it, but hate the thought of him going all night with a dirty nappy on and his poor wee bottom getting sore. I'll definitely up his fibre/water though and hopefully avoid further problems.
Yoga - I was doing the sticker chart, but he got bored of it fairly quickly and it wasn't enough incentive any more. Maybe I'll try going back to it for poos though. I got a really good book called the Boy's Potty Book and there is a girl's equivalent too. He loves that and I read that to him and I've also put a whole lot of mini picture books in the bathroom too.
Although it's really daunting, I have found that getting him out of the house helped him 'forget' about it a little and he wasn't asking to go every 2 mins, however it returned to the same pattern as soon as we got home. I don't really give him chocolate as a general rule, but have resorted to bribing him with raisins as he loves them. It's still not working! Was so close to tears this morning and my dh, mum, no-one seems to be able to help. I have given in and left a message for the health visitor although they have been pretty useless in the almost 2 years so far!
Thanks though for your encouragement not to give up though as that's how I feel and and several people have said just put him back in nappies and try again in a few weeks, but he's doing so well otherwise and I asked him again this morning whether he wanted pull ups or big boy pants and he asked for the pants, so what does that tell you?
They wouldn't do the heartbeat until the 16 week appointment here although we too were able to see it on the 12 week scan. I think my 20 week scan is the 10th July, seems really soon!
Lilstar - hope your dd's operation is before to allow her time to recover before the baby's arrival. Don't worry though, these things have a way of working themselves out. I am also planning to have an ELCS, although it's not been an easy choice.
Well, have a good day and speak to you soon.x
Oh why is EVERYTHING upsetting me just now?
Hope you had a better day today tiny - i reckon tiredness and preg hormones and toddlers are a recipe for emotional disaster. I'm definitely much more affected by things now, think my tolerance threshold has gone right down, for all sorts of things. And stuff I might have breezed through before I find more of a struggle.
How's the potty training? Hope you're not too tired, I'm shattered and haven't even started yet. Am a bit scared about it to be honest!
Have a good night all xx
I have to join this thread! I'm due December 6th but my c-section has been scheduled for November 29th. This will be my second child, and we've been told it's a girl!!!
Welcome queen - I recognise you from the due in December thread (I'm following it but don't post very often - so hard to keep up!) How amazing to have your c section date - you know exactly when you'll meet your baby. And you can be mega organised, lovely food in the fridge for the first few days, people in hand to help/stay away when you want... I'm quite jealous. My DD was born in her due late (2 years ago) which was nice. I'd been kind if aiming for that date for 9 months but didn't really expect to meet her then, wonderful to meet her bang on target. A friend if mine went over 2 weeks overdue with both of hers and flu d the wait agonising. None of that for you!
Sorry for typos...
AND you know it's a girl! Amazing, congratulations. I love having a little girl. Think this one might be a boy, which would be lovely. Happy either way actually. But don't think we'll have any more after this, so really excited to know what shape our family will be in December as that will prob be it!
I recognised you too! Its nice to be here.
I do like knowing when I'll meet her; but I really wish she could be ready sooner. I'm incredibly impatient. When I had my DS, I just knew I wouldn't be able to wait till his due date--the anxiety caused me to have pre-eclampsia and he was born on the first day of the 37th week. I really have to hypnotise myself into letting this one stay in at least until 38 weeks.
I'm thrilled to be having a little girl right now, but I feel wrong for not making an effort the plan for the next child right away. I come from a bundle of 4, (3 sisters and we have 1 brother)...nothing was better than having two sisters. I feel wrong for having just one girl. I feel like boys appreciate anyone around, but girls really need their sisters. I know I do...but then I've met loads of girls who don't get along with their sisters at all...so I could just be gambling and hoping my children will have the same luck with their relationships that I do.
Our brother feels pretty happy about having three sisters; he never felt the need for a brother but he feels like if he had a brother he would have missed having sisters.
Hi everyone and welcome Queen! That's great you already have the gender news and your c section date. Your midwives must be on the ball! I am also having a planned c section, but don't have a date yet, although they said they do it at 39 weeks and I'm due 27th Nov, so that would be around the 20th Nov. Have the 20 week scan in about 2 weeks and will hopefully find out the sex then - can't wait! On your brother/sister thing - I have a sister and we're not really close, so maybe it just depends on the individuals. It does make me sad and I have tried, but she just doesn't seem that interested in having much of a relationship with me.
Yoga - I am still very up and down and like you, think it's just a combination of the hormones and the toddler challenges. We also have quite a lot going on with dh's work etc. etc. so there are several things that are a concern at the moment too and that isn't helping.
That's lovely your dd was born on her due date! i don't know if many people achieve that! My ds was 5 days late, but I was induced so have a feeling it would have been longer! We're still having problems with potty training in terms of pooing, but surprisingly dh seems to be having more success with him with it. Meant to be going on a toddler bus trip tommorow and I have to say I am somewhat nervous! People keep saying 'just put him in a pull up for the trip', but he now won't go in a pull up and asks to go to the potty! I guess that's a good thing, but doesn't help my nerves any. Wish me luck!
Good luck on the bus tiny! Do you have one of those portable potties? Not sure if I should invest in one before we embark on potty training...
Queen - I know what you mean about having sisters. I'm close with my sister (and with my brother, but not in the same way) and would love that for DD. But there's no guarantees and no way of planning these things, much as I'd love to. My family has two girls and one boy (me the oldest, then my sister, then my brother) and secretly I think I'd like to replicate that. But on the other hand stopping at two appeals as I'm not sure I'm up for the chaos and hard work of 3 kids...
Sorry you're not close to your sis tiny - does she have kids too?
tiny she's missing out on a great opportunity; I bet you have a few really good girlfriends instead; I feel like often times Life compensates and naturally brings you good people to be around.
Hi girls, well the trip went well overall, although we did have a few toilet visits on the bus and several when we were there. I don't have a portable potty, but just take a regular one in a bag wherever we go. Am knackered today though as it was a long day and no naps for ds or me! Also dh forgot to put a pull up on ds when he went to bed the night before so you can imagine the washing I had that morning and all before we had to catch the bus! Arrrgggghhh, men!
My sis has a 4 month old little girl and I had hoped that would make us closer, but unfortunately not. She's also a single parent and I sometimes think she's jealous because I'm married. Although if she really knew me and knew some of the stuff that dh and I are going through right now, she would realise that no-one has a perfect life or perfect situation, no matter how it looks to an outsider! I am lucky though and do have some really good friends. I just wish it didn't bother me so much, but maybe it's just that I'm over-emotional at the moment anyway.
Anyway, was contemplating an aquanatal class tonight, but to be honest, by the time 7pm comes round I'm ready for PJ's and bed! Can't go during day though as no-one to look after ds. Are any of you doing any preg-related exercise?
Well, I do hope she comes around and learns to stop being childish.
Well done for still making it out the door and onto the bus! x
Queen - I guess I'm just upset as she doesn't take much of an interest in my ds either and then expects him to be all over her when she does see him, when in actual fact he barely knows her! Also I really tried to be there for her when she was pregnant because she was on her own and gave her stuff and sent her messages every week asking how she was and that's me, 18 weeks in and never hear from her - it's like she just doesn't care at all. Sorry, rant over! My point was sometimes siblings get on great and sometimes they don't and perhaps whatever we try to do as parents just doesn't matter if they are incompatible personalities! We try our best. My ds has been really cute coming up to me and saying 'baby kiss' then kissing my tummy! I'm trying to instil love and gentleness with his baby brother or sister already! Have a good night.x
sorry! she just sounds like she has too many problems and isn't interested in fixing anything. Perhaps she's just lazy? Whatever it is, her reaction isn't normal; whereas your concern for her and care for her is. Take pride that you are kind and affectionate and setting a good example for your children.
Currently my youngest sister is also acting like drama queen. Both my sisters live in our home and both of them have chores to do. Youngest Sister is supposed to walk the dog every morning at 7:30am--which she never does and after waiting around for 6 months I raised my voice to her today and she's given me the biggest attitude I have ever seen. I've asked her to leave. I really hope she actually does. I really despise her problems and her inability to be a good human being towards herself and others.
Queen - thanks for your kind words. She is very self-obsessed and I think the sooner I accept that the better. I keep telling myself I should just keep my distance then I won't get hurt, but its easier said than done when it's family. Sorry to hear your sister is also acting like a spoilt brat! How old is she? My sister is 33! You would think she'd be over the spoilt brat phase, but apparently not. Mind you, I was acting like a spoilt brat myself the other night when dh refused to go to the 24 hour Tesco to get me the fudge I was craving! You sound like you are having to be mum to your sister as well and I hope through time she realises how much she should appreciate your generosity and kindness.x
Ha - I have made quite a few emergency demands like your fudge request tiny, had to stop myself expressing horror and disappointment when DH came back with the wrong flavour ice cream after a late night mission!
It's a shame, but your sis does sound self absorbed. And like you say tiny, she probably is jealous of you and holds back on intimacy because she thinks she doesn't measure up. Maybe she's struggling, but really doesn't want you to see it? Sad, because if she could show you she was vulnerable, needing help, wanting to be close and share things you sound like you would be super supportive. It's her loss unfortunately, you sound lovely.
queen - can't believe your sisters live in your home and one still behaves like that! The cheek! I hope you can call on some serious babysitting favours, plus cooking etc if they end up staying. There's got to be something in it for you too!
I went to a preg yoga class last week, but apart from that no special pregnancy exercise. I do regular yoga still, and cycle a bit, but I know what you mean tiny - I wouldn't have the energy to go to any evening classes.
Potty training sounds so tiring! I'm already shattered by the amount of laundry we have, and I have a very relaxed approach to folding (not) and putting away (after its sat in a pile for a while)
I've got my 16 week appointment tomorrow, fingers crossed I'll hear the heartbeat...
TBH the older of the two sisters is pretty good. She still lucks out for having me as a sister but my goodness--this youngest sister is not worth having around.
She is everything I don't want in a daughter. I hope that my daughter never lets what others think of her take precedent over what she thinks of herself. I hope my daughter is genuine and able to care for herself and others, I hope my daughter is fair and kind, I hope she is never as materialistic as my sister is. My youngest sister is 20; and if she continues on her path she'll be one very pathetic and lonely woman who is willing to take any scraps of attention from anyone who is willing to throw it at her.
sister problems have been resolved
Ah, that's good news queen, pleased to hear it.
I've done a big online shopping order (DD is 2 tomorrow so we're having a party on sat) and they'll be delivering some alcohol free beers. I'm looking forward to having a sunny evening with a couple of beers tonight, hope they're not too horrible. I've also been craving margaritas (!) which is crazy cos I probably haven't had one in 10 years. Not sure I can satisfy that desire while preg though.
Have a good day all.
I was craving margaritas last week! settled for a frozen juice instead. was not the same.
Hi! Glad to hear your sis problems have been resolved Queen and hope you enjoy the birthday party tommorow Yoga! I don't actually drink so luckily don't have that to give up while pregnant, although sometimes I wish I did! Especially during the trying potty training period! I am however more than making up for it in chocolate!
Good luck for your appointment Yoga.x
Heard a heartbeat! And had a cobra alcohol free beer - not bad. Sleep well guys x
I did sleep well...until I had to get ready for a surprise date yesterday with my husband and noticed that a good selection of my favorite shoes are missing. Cue speaking to sisters who also are missing shoes and turns out neighbour has seen ex-cleaning lady wearing them. (We shared the cleaning lady). How awkward is this conversation going to be?
Me: hello ex cleaning lady, will you please return any shoes you may have borrowed from my home?
Cleaning lady: I don't have them
Me: There are 45 pictures of you on FB wearing my shoe shopping from FW 2012. Additionally there are another 20 of you in my sisters dresses+shoes.
Argh, that sounds awkward. Good luck. We had a good day yesterday - DD's 2nd b'day with the grandparents round. Today for the kids party...
Happy Birthday MiniYogaFan!
good luck with the Kids today Yogafan.
I've just realised that I'm almost 30 and everything I had envisioned for myself is everything that I don't need right now.
Hi guys, kids party went really well yesterday, DD had loads of fun and so did we. House wasn't nearly as trashed as I expected and we managed to get it all cleared befor bed. Phew. It's scorching here today, I feel like lazing around eating ice cream. Hope you're having a good weekend.
Sorry to hear about the vision/reality clash queen - hope you're feeling ok. What do you feel you'd like to change in an ideal world?
Hi guys, glad the party went well Yoga and very exciting to hear baby's heartbeat! Just realised my ds is going to be 2 in a few weeks! Scary! We're planning to take him to the safari park, think I'm more excited about it than anyone though!
Queen - the shoe thing made me laugh, sorry, I know it's probably not very funny for you. Are you sure it wasn't your sisters hiding them? Am interested to hear what you had envisioned for yourself too! I don't think I know anyone who's actually doing what they thought they would be in life! I certainly didn't think I would be with my husband for 10 years before we had children!
Got my 20 week scan next week, can't wait. It's gone so fast though.
How exciting tiny - what day is your scan? Hope you really, really enjoy it. I remember being amazing seeing DD at 20 weeks, the detail was just incredible. Such tiny little ribs!
Hope you guys enjoy the safari park too, bet your DS will love it. We took DD to London zoo with a friend if hers last month and she had the best time.
Have you had a good time in the sun? Hope it continues! I find it so much easier looking after DD when it's like this, I'm fed up of wiping rain off slides/swings and realising we don't have any spare trousers for DD when we're out and gets drenched.
How's the potty training going tiny?
Hi girls, how are we? Well had my scan yesterday and it's a boy! So a little brother for DS. It was amazing to see the scan, the detail was really clear and we were in there for ages as they explained everything to us. All looking good with baby, however I've to get another scan at 32 weeks as the placenta is partially covering the cervix. Shouldn't hopefully cause any problems as I have to have a section anyway, but they want to keep an eye on it, especially if it causes any bleeding.
Now all I have to do is persuade my DH to paint the baby's room as it is currently a totally unsuitable pink! He's not very keen as it's only just been decorated, so think I may have a fight on my hands!
When is your scan Yoga? Have you been feeling any movements? Potty training is going pretty well, we have the odd off-day, but on the whole I guess has been fairly quick. Take care.x
Congrats tiny, how wonderful! Must have been sooooo good to see. I've got mine in two weeks, I can't wait - I am desperate to see the baby in all that incredible detail, and hopefully to have the all clear. A mixture of joy and relief please!
And you're having a boy, wow, does it make it more real knowing you are growing a baby boy, and that your DS will be a big brother...?
Well done on the potty training, good to know the hard work has paid off. We start in 10 days....
Hi Yoga, not long now 'til your scan, you must be getting excited! Are you going to find out the sex? I guess it does feel more real, although the movements are pretty strong now so that feels more real than anything, especially as he's been kicking me in the bladder for the last 2 days! DS is so cute, he's started rubbing my tummy and comes up all the time and says 'cuddle baby' or 'kiss baby' and cuddles into my tummy. I think he'll be a good big brother, he's put a few of his toys aside that he said the baby can play with.
It's been a month of potty training and we seem to have resolved the pooing fear, so pretty much there. We've also started giving him his bedtime milk after dinner as he was asking to go to the potty when he was tucked up in bed, so it seems to have stopped that and his nappy is usually pretty dry in the mornings now too, although I'm in no hurry to rush the night-time training as he's still very young and I don't want to create any sleep problems as he's usually pretty good. Good luck when you start!x
I've not been online much recently so haven't had the chance to post. Hope you are all doing well. Just read the past couple of posts for a wee catch up.
Tiny! Glad to heqr the potty training has went well. That must be a relief for you. Brill you have got it sorted before DS comes along. Speaking of which...congrats on your wee boy. Glad to hear your scan went well.
Yoga! You must have your scan soon then...how are you feeling about it? I have mine first thing tomorrow morning and although I'm curious to see the baby I'm really nervous because I know they do alot of important checks.
I don't want to find out the sex, but dp does! I just have a funny feeling it's a boy for some reason.
Oh yeh, how you all been coping in the hot weather...I fainted once so far!
Good to hear from you Lilstar! Hope you're scan goes well. Not coping particularly well with the hot weather it has to be said and an overheated grumpy toddler is making things even more tricky - none of us are getting much sleep! Hope you don't faint again.x
Hi guys, good luck for your scan lilstar! How exciting... I am really looking forward to having mine next Thursday, I have a funny feeling it's a boy this time but going to try and keep it a surprise. I am super nervous too, fingers crossed all is well for us. Chances are they will be, and hopefully you'll have the all clear tomorrow so you'll have that reassurance. So pleased yours went well Tiny, so great.
Well done on the potty training too, not bad to have cracked it in a month. We start on Monday... DD definitely getting more and more ready by the day. Guess we'll just have to see how she takes to it and what curveballs present themselves.
Tiny - i've been thinking of you, as for the past few days I've had back pain, in my coccyx. Think it must be preg related, with the relaxin making my pelvis less stable. Makes sitting painful, urgh. Did you have any treatment for yours? Hope it has eased off for you, although I know you've had it a while.
I felt a bit sick and faint a couple of days ago, realised I hadn't had a big enough breakfast, and this darned heat. I almost fainted a couple of times on the tube when preg with DD (I live in London and used to commute 2-3 hours a day, dreadful) but have been able to take it much more easy this time round. Sorry to hear about you fainting Lilstar, where were you? Did people around you help?
Hope you have a good night tiny, DD has been sleeping ok, but I daren't put her to bed too early as she's been finding it to get to sleep due to the heat (and DP has been away with work for a week - he usually does bedtime) so we're just finishing watching Toystory now, then bed... Hope it's not terribly bad for her to watch TV...
Hi Yoga, oh how I sympathise with you. I have been so bad since 10 weeks that I can't even drive anywhere now because of the sitting. Well, if I only have to go 5 mins I'll sometimes do it, but am so restricted it's awful. Anyway, the only thing I have found beneficial (and believe me I've tried everything) is Cranial Osteopathy. It's very gentle, but effective. I can't say it's hlped just as much since I've been pregnant, but as you say, I think the relaxin has a lot to answer for. You could try maternity physio at your hospital, but I personally didn't find it terribly useful as they're not hands-on and exercises can only do so much for you. I do have a coccyx cushion with a vut out at the back, but again it actually causes me more pain by stretching the ligaments either side, but you could try. Good luck, hope you find some relief.x
Thanks for the support tiny! So sorry you've had to deal with it for so long, urgh. I went to a chiropractor a couple of days ago who said part of the prob with sitting is that your thighs are lifted straining the back a little. He suggested sitting forward so thighs tilt down (knees lower than hips) - don't know if it would help you at all to raise the back of your cushion? I might try and see s cranial osteo, I like how gentle they sound. The chiropractor said everything was safe etc in pregnancy but was a bit 'gung ho'
Anyway, SO hard to look after a toddler while trying to protect your back! You've done brilliantly being able to potty train as well, I imagine there'll be a fair amount of dashing around...
First morning of potty training - no sitting on the potty, and one wee on the floor... Fingers crossed for this afternoon!
Hi Tiny and Yoga!
Well glad this weather has got a bit less hot here. Haven't fainted again either and yes Yoga, I was in church when it happened so DP was there and a lovely man who happened to be a retired nurse also helped walk me up the isle to air, a drink and seat in the porch. So embarassing though lol.
My scan also went well on Friday...thank for the well wishes. The sonographer was brilliant this time. Unlike the snippy one I got at my 12 week scan. This one took time to explain everything she was doing and everything was so clear. Got a brilliant photo too. Haven't found out the sex...and still don't want to!
How are you both keeping this week? Strangely enough, I saw you talking about the pain in your coccyx and fortunately I haven't had this except once and it was acctually when I woke up in my bed and had to get up to go to the toilet. It was agon but I managed to roll off the bed to standing and I haven't had it since.
Yoga! 3 sleeps until your scan right? How has the last couple days potty training went for you?
Scan went well! DD was there, very much awake despite our efforts to get her to nap before going in. Was lovely though, she got to see the baby and I think it's all a bit more real for all of us now.
SMALL steps with potty training, she'll sit in the potty now, has done 2 weed and is slowly beginning to understand I think. No poo accidents yet, phew. She's held on until her nappy goes on for her nap.
I've been ok so far in the heat (apart from almost fainting episode a couple if weeks ago) but started feeling rubbish yesterday, think I got a bit dehydrated while being out and about in the sun. Gah. Have taken some dioralyte and starting to feel a little better.
Hope you guys are faring well!
Would it be OK if I joined you? My due date isn't til 2nd January, though judging from my daughter (who came 2 1/2 weeks early) it will hopefully be earlier than that!
I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and also in the throes of potty training my daughter (2.10) this week, it's not going fantastically well
Wonderful that so many of you have had good scans and know the sex! Mine's not til 17th August, so 3 weeks to go still.
I feel like the odd one out since everybody is or has been potty training recently lol.
Welcome to the thread eccentrica! How have you been keeping so far and are you hoping to find out the sex of ur baby at your scan?
Glad your scan went well yoga. Does seem so much more real having seen so much detail now and now sporting the obvious bump. Still prodding my belly in the morning just to check i'm not dreaming though lol.
I have been OK so far thanks, this pregnancy seems to be progressing much the same as my first - knackered/nauseous throughout 1st trimester, better since week 14, I even have an anterior placenta again - at the front, which means you feel less movement and feel it later. It wasn't til about week 23 with 1st pregnancy, so I'm not expecting to start feeling movement for ages yet
I am very much looking forward to finding out the sex! I think it will make it all seem more real. Of course also looking forward to getting the all-clear (touch wood) and then we can start making some real plans and get the flat sorted out!
How about you, have you had your 20 wk scan?
Eccentrica! Your pregnancy sounds like mine so far. Mainly tiredness and nausea being the issuses at first. I also have the anterior placenta but have been feeling it since around 18 weeks. The sonographer at my scan says usually the case is you feel it at the side which to me was exactly right, especially when lying on my side in bed at night. I'm sure you'll feel it soon! She also said it might mean dp won't feel it for a wee while longer than expected.
My scan was last friday when i was 21w2d but i think i am a little less than that as i had an early scan with differing dates. My scan went well though. Dp still wants to find out the sex. I dont though! I have a hunch that its a boy anyway but still want the surprise at the end.
Question for anyone who can answer please. The past few days I have been getting the odd braxton hicks. Dont remember having these so early with dc1. Is it normal at 22 weeks...have any of you guys had them yet?
Hi everyone and welcome Eccentrica! Sorry I havn't been on for a while, but I've had a really bad week with my back. In addition to my existing coccyx problem I'm now getting lower back pain as well (probably due to all the weight at the front). Went to maternity physio and have been fitted with a support belt, so we'll see if that helps. Am finding it so hard to get comfortable though as sitting is impossible I have to stand a lot and I think that's also why my back is so sore. Lying down is probably best, but it's not always practical!
Saw the midwife on Wednesday and she was so worried by the amount of pain I was in she went and got a doctor to speak to me. They want me to take stronger painkillers, but they would have an effect on the baby and I would rather suffer than put him at any risk. They are talking about having to deliver him early, as at 5 months my body is already not coping and they are concerned I end up totally immobile nearer the end. Fingers crossed that won't happen. So long and short of it is they want to keep a close eye on me, so I've to see a more senior physio next week and will have another antenatal appointment in a fortnight. Oh and they also think I'm developing gestational diabetes, as if I didn't have enough to contend with already. Waiting on results of a blood test for that.
Anyway, Yoga - delighted your scan went well and that was lovely your DD could be there too. Our hosp don't let children in, but to be honest my DS freaks out if I even have to sit in the dentist chair so it would'nt have been the most relaxing experience with him having an epic meltdown in the middle of it! Did you find out the sex? Sounds like potty training is progressing well too, takes a lot of patience doesn't it? Has baby been moving around much? This little one has been very active, especially during the night and the movements are now very visible from the outside too.
Take care everyone.x
Hi tiny. Good to heqr from you. Really feel for you reading your post. Sounds like an awful time you are having and naturally worrying if they have to deliver you so early. I hope your body finda strength to hold on as long as possible. I would be the same in regards to the painkillers. Don't like taking meds at the best of times never mind during pregnancy. Take it easy and keep us updated with your progress. Best wishes and hugs from me.
Hello and welcome newbies!
I got braxton hicks really early on with DD, and even thought I felt some this time round a while back - which would have been ridiculously early as I'm only 21 weeks now. Not sure if it's normal but I've opted not to worry! Still get anxious about all sorts of other things though - we went on a bike ride this morning and went over some bumps shaking my poor bump something rotten... Anyway.
SO sorry to hear about your back tiny, I knew it had been super though for you but it's so unfair it seems to be getting worse. Mine is much better, but I found muting on my side the only comfortable position to be in for a while. Not compatible with looking after a toddler, unfortunately. Do you have any childcare? Any help so you can get large chunks of rest time? It's rough having to do lots if looking after when you have no time/space to look after yourself, particularly if it's something so vital as protecting your back. And the pain, poor you tiny, i really feel for you. Hope the senior physio can help, and that the brace works. I'm going to get a Japanese style tummy support, apparently they are good post birth too. Like a lightweight version of the proper support belt. And the gestational diabetes scare as well, urgh. Fingers crossed it's not, and of it is then it's manageable. Does it mean a lot more monitoring and a complicated annoying diet? When they talk about delivering early, have they said how early? Might be nice if they could give you a month of bed rest instead, in a nice hotel with meals and childcare provided. I'd like that sometimes...
We didn't find out if we 're having a girl or a boy at the scan, but both suspect it's a boy this time round. Would be delighted either way, obviously. We suspected DD was going to be a girl, although I know it's only 50:50 so we could so easily be wrong this time round!
Potty training is still moving in very small steps... No successes so far today...
Thanks guys, your support means a lot to me. I've actually not felt too bad today and havn't had to wear my support so glad about that. I've also done quite a lot today, so hoping it holds up. I'm just not the type of person to sit around as I like to keep busy and honestly believe the more mobile you are the more you will hopefully be able to keep it. I don't really have any help with childcare, although my mum comes up once a week to watch DS while I go to hosp/osteopath appointments. My friend has offered to take him one morning this week to give me a break and he can play with her DS who's the same age so he'll love it.
Really hope I don't have diabetes as I feel like chocolate is my only saviour at the moment! They havn't said how early they would deliver me and are just going to play it by ear, but my main worry is the breathing thing as the lungs are the last thing to develop and I would hate for him to end up in special care, so am determined to hold on as long as possible. The month of bed rest in a nice hotel sounds like HEAVEN Yoga! Actually havn't had a holiday since before I conceived DS in 2010, so long overdue!
Yoga, it's exciting you are keeping the sex a surprise! I wanted to first time round but DH really wanted to find out, so I gave in. This time I wanted to know purely for practical reasons (boring I know), plus I like now referring to the baby as 'he' and not 'it'! Keep going with the potty training, it will be so worth it in the end, good luck.
Night everyone, sleep well.x
Tiny hello and I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time with your back. Hope it gets better soon.
lilstar Yeah, I also had anterior placenta last time and I defnitely felt less movement than average, and later. However, I am 99% sure I felt first movements last night! I was watching a play and pretty certain that's what it was. I am 17w3d so it's earlier than last time, though last time I thnik I had occasional flutters, but few and far between until about 23 weeks.
Potty training is making slow but definite progress here. My flat smells of wee though
Hi Yoga, meant to say I'm glad your back is feeling a bit better. I've had 2 or 3 'good' days so far and not been wearing the support belt so wondering if it was actually contributing to the problem. Think I'll just wear it when I feel I really need to.
Eccentrica - that made me laugh about the smell of pee! So exciting to feel movements! I felt them at 14 weeks this time which I know is really early. I'mm almost 22 weeks now and they're really strong, can even see them!
Hope everyone doing ok and glad weather has cooled down a bit now!x
Hi, how's everyone holding up these days? Hope you're all doing well. 24 weeks tomorrow for me!x
Same here tiny! 24 weeks tomorrow. I'm doing ok. Just frantically bidding on ebay for maternity gear now that I have virtually zilch in my wardrobe to wear.
I'm not looking forward to Thursday though. My daughter goes in for an operation on her legs and will be pretty imobile afterwards. Not really the ideal situation for being 24 weeks pg.
On the upside, booked a 4d scan for 31st aug so it will give her something to look forward to once shes a bit better. Any of u had a 4d scan before? I'm quite excited about it.
Hows your back problem now Tiny?
Hi Lilstar, good to hear from you! Hope you find some good maternity clothes. I'm actually doing ok so far regarding clothes, although rapidly filling them and not so much choice as my regular wardrobe, but it's been ok as I had plenty from last time and some friends very kindly gave me some stuff too.
Hope your daughter gets on ok with her op, how old is she again? I'm sure you will manage somehow and they are pretty good at trying to be independent. My ds is brilliant as he's always been used to the fact I have limitations and can climb in and out of his car seat, pram etc. to save me lifting him. I did try to lift the light fold-up buggy into the car the other day however and that is actually really difficult now, so won't be doing that again unless I have help.
I have actually had a few better days with my back and also got a special cushion, so can sit for a few minutes now. I have been getting some general lower back pain but am not too concerned about that as I know it is just due to the extra weight at the front. I've been seeing the maternity physio and am due to see the midwife and consultant today.
That's really exciting you are getting a 4D scan! Definetly something for you all to look forward to. I've never had one, but was considering it this time, however I've to get another scan at 32 weeks anyway because of the low lying placenta, so decided not to bother.
Best of luck for Thursday and hope it all goes well.x
Hi all, sorry for long silence. DD was sick for a bit and started asking for nappies so we gave up on the potty training. Urgh. We're off on holiday soon, so thing we'll try again when we get back (mid September) so will keep you updated. My house prob still smells of wee though (that made me laugh Eccentrica, so true!)
So pleased your back feels a bit better tiny, long may it continue. Any news on the sugar levels? Mine were a little high too, but midwife didn't seem too concerned. I have been eating LOTS of sweet stuff. DP went out late last night to buy me a Double Decker...
Lilstar - I have seen 4d pics, they look amazing. I'd love to have one but don't think we'll end up getting one. Hope you and your DD are doing well, how did the op go? Is she mobile again now. Hope you're all ok. x
Hi everyone, how are we all doing? Sorry havn't been on here for ages, but seem to have had so many appointments to attend, plus DS on hitting 2 has suddenly decided he no longer needs to nap during the day (much to my dismay!) therefore not getting much time to be online!
Yoga - how was your holiday? How is potty training going?
Lilstar - how is your DD after her op?
I'm now 28 weeks and have my date for my c section - 20th November! It's all seeming pretty real now!
Hope everyone well.x
Hi all, we got back yesterday - still pretty jet lagged but pleased to be home. We had a great time away, DD loved most of it but started getting cabin fever towards the end (we were staying in a teeny place with 4 others) and was beginning to play up - not very restful. We haven't resumed potty training again, think we'll wait for DD to tell us when she's ready to try again... Hope we can do it before DC2 arrives, but we're running out of time - our babies are gonna be here so soon!! Amazing you've got your C section date tiny, just over 2 1/2 months! Wow.
I've just been looking at cute all in one bear suits for DC2, you know - ones with ears that are warm and snuggly for going outside. DD was born in summer so we don't really have anything warm for a little baby, and I thought DD might warm to the baby more if it looked cute with ears... Well, it's actually just an excuse to go shopping and buy something for this little one, we pretty much have what we need but I'd like to get the baby a little something. Have you guys bought anything this time round?
Hope you're all doing well and not too tired. I'm generally ok but every so often get a wave of fatigue. And I'm eating SO much chocolate...
Ah - hope this isn't related to eating SO much chocolate, but I've got to fast tonight and have glucose tolerance test tomorrow morning. Really hope I don't have gestational diabetes...
Phew, don't have gestation diabetes after all. Hope you guys are well.
Hi yoga, glad you don't have GD after all. sorry the potty training isn't going quite to plan, but I'm sure it will happen when the time is right. That made me laugh about the baby looking cute with cuddly ears! I'm sure your DD will love it no matter what, but I don't see anything wrong with buying a cute cuddly snowsuit as you'll no doubt need one anyway. I have one really tiny one a friend gave me and a couple of bigger ones that were DS's, but I think all will be either too small or too big for when we need them so I may end up buying another cute cuddly one too!
Well I only have 8 weeks to go now! It's gone so fast. I ended up in hosp getting checked last week as I had a headache on and off for about a week and they wanted to check my BP. Turns out it's actually mega-low, so that plus my low iron is making me totally knackered all the time. Plus I'm averaging about 3/4 hours sleep a night as I keep waking up and not being able to switch off.
Anyway, hope you are doing well. How long have you got to go now?x
Hiya Tiny - sorry I've been out of contact for so long. All good o the pregnancy front but my mym's been I'll so I've been spending lots of time with her and my dad - feels a bit stressful having caring responsibilities on all fronts to be honest. Ah well, I'm hoping she's on the road to recovery and I'll be able to take it a bit easier as I get closer to my due date.
How are you?! I hope the low blood pressure and iron levels have been resolved, that must make you feel super tired and drained. Are you getting excited about the birth - when is your due date again? I've started packing my hospital bag and thinking about the practicalities of who will look after DD in which circumstances... It's still not very clear but I'm hoping we'll muddle through.
Hope your back is bearing up with all the extra weight, and that your DP has been giving you the occasional foot rub. My DP has given me a couple of short foot massages - feels so good, our poor weary feet are really taking a pounding y legs and hips feel like they've run a marathon too...)
All the best for the next few weeks...
Hi, is anyone still out there? I have less than 3 weeks to go now and feeling a little lonely and scared! Just found out baby is really low down and head already started to engage so could be early for me! Hope all is well.x
Oh well done tiny - are you 37 weeks already? It must be nerve wracking to be so close. One incredible, complex experience coming up, that 's for sure. Everything i've read says rhings get easier once you've had tge second baby, hopefully your back issues will improve etc. Your c section is on 20th isn't it? I'll be thinking if you, and am checking mumsnet a lot more now labour day approaches. Let me know if there's anything particular on your mind you want to talk about.
I'm feeling baby move down, lots of braxton hicks etc, makes me think I'll be early too. A few days of mild cramp and dodgy tum...
All the very best to you xx
Hi Yoga, great to hear from you! How are you getting on? How long for you now? I'll be 37 weeks on Weds, but my section is booked for 39 weeks (20th Nov), can't believe its so soon! Sounds like we both might be in for an early arrival!
I'm actually doing ok physically and believe it or not my back is probably better now than it was early on so I'm very grateful for that. Just REALLY exhausted, but my iron's been low for the last couple of months so desperately trying to get that back up again in time.
My DH has just started a new job, which is great but it's in another city and he has an hour and a half commute each way, so we don't even see him in the morning and he's back really late in the evening, so I'm just finding it hard coping with DS on my own all day and really worried about how I'll cope with a newborn too, especially as he's not entitled to paternity leave. He is owed a couple of days holiday though and will take a couple of unpaid holidays to stretch it to a week, but it's not a lot when I'm having a section.
However, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my options of help for afterwards as I don't have family nearby and have decided to hire a postnatal doula. It isn't cheap, but I figure it's worth it for my sanity! I feel a lot more relaxed knowing I have a plan in place.
So it's just the waiting game now and wondering if baba will try to make an appearance before the 20th!
How's the potty training going by the way? Hope you are doing well and the cramps and dodgy tum settle. Every little thing makes you think it's early labour doesn't it? Thinking of you also, take care.x
can I join?
due 27th nov and seriously symptom spotting now.
think that every cramp,mood swing or twinge is the onset of labour.
and still feel like ive forgotten something even though I probably haven't.
Welcome Urt! We're actually due the same day, but I have to have a section on 20th. I'm with you on the symptom spotting! And keep waking up at night in a panic thinking have I done that or have I got that! I guess its natural!x
very close for you then flutter.
don't know why we panic because if we have forgotten something minor its not the end of the world.
as for symptoms I just seem to be having dull period type cramps most the time now.
Hello there, and welcome URT - I'm with you on the exhaustion tiny, although I don't think I have the excuse of low iron. General late pregnancy plus low iron must be a killer. DD has been dropping her nap though, so I'm finding it much harder than usual to pace myself and basically cope. The TV was on for much of yesterday afternoon, and it's back on now...
Good plan in getting a post natal doula, that sounds very sensible. It should give you the support you need to assist recovery, establishing breastfeeding etc. Especially necessary if you're having a section - I went round to help my friend with nap and bed times when she had her second DC as she couldn't lift DC1 into the bath / cot etc. Good you can plan for it, I think i'm going to be totally stuck if I end up with unplanned section... ALthough it's not good for my back at all (or my pelvic floor...) I tend to pick up DD more than i should. It's just so hard if she's having a tantrum on the bus/in a shop etc...
I couldn't face going back to the potty training, so we're going to leave that until next year.
I'm occasionally getting period style cramps, and am totally paranoid about going into labour early. I can feel the baby move further down each day i think. But I was induced last time, so have no real experience of going into labour naturally. I hear it can take weeks of rumblings...
I'm hoping for a home birth and the pool doesn't arrive for 2 1/2 weeks so I hope I can hang on until then...
Our bags are packed but I feel I need to stock up on rest and mentally prepare a bit more for the new arrival - so hard with a toddler to look after!
Hi girls, how are you? Well it's 4.45am and I've been up for a couple of hours, hungry for cereal and can't sleep!
Sorry you're also feeling so tired Yoga, it's not easy with a toddler, especially when the nap is dwindling. My DS has been on/off with an afternoon nap for about 3 months now, some days he will sleep and some days he won't, so I just try every day and as soon as he goes into bed I climb into mine!
It's also hard when you've got to lift them, although I think I said before that my DS is used to the fact I havn't been able to lift him for a long time. It sounds really bad, but I'm at the moment teaching him how to climb out of his cot onto the beanbag, as I know in a couple of weeks I won't be able to help him out as I usually do. It sounds weird, but he's actually fairly sensible/cautious for a 2 year old, so I'm not worried that he'll try it on his own. He's still in a sleeping bag anyway and I don't think he could get out of it for a start. I've never been able to lift him in/out of the bath so my DH has always done that. If he has to work late I try to persuade DS to come in the shower with me or I just have to give him a quick wash down at the sink. Tantrums are hard though and when he's really upset about something I miss not being able to pick him up.
That's exciting you are planning a home birth! Will someone be taking your DC1 at the time?
I was also induced last time so have no idea how this whole labour thing starts! Feels like the first time again!
Unfortunately my pelvis gave way on Monday, however I am just so relieved it waited until now to happen instead of at 15 weeks like last time! I can hardly walk, but luckily I held onto my support belt from last time so have been wearing that the last couple of days. I'm going to see my osteopath tomorrow so hopefully that should help. Don't really want to resort to crutches again, but we'll see how it goes. Thanks goodness it's only going to be a couple of weeks at the most.
Hang in there everyone and I'll keep checking up for developments.x
Morning tiny - I've been awake since 5ish too, defo going to have a lie down this afternoon. Good plan to get into bed as soon as you try for a nap with DC, the past couple of days I've been hanging out washing and getting stuff done which I could do with DD up - feels like a real waste.
Sorry to hear about your pelvis, hope the osteo can help. Was the support belt useful last time? I've been recommended one that you can use after the baby as well, apparently it helps everything restabilise.
And how does it work with the doula - will they do a few sessions pre baby, to help get to know your routine and DS? I can imagine a bit of extra support could be really handy before the baby comes too, especially with your pelvis probs.
Can't believe you are two weeks away from meeting your baby, wow wow wow. Do you feel like you can properly plan and have everything organised? Do you feel prepared, at least practically? Or is it still just as nerve wracking?!
The unknown-ness of potentially going into labour over the next 2 months (!) is crazy - I have a list of potential people who could look after DD, utterly dependent on when I go into labour, where we are, what time it is, what day of the week it is etc. Also, if it's a long labour or overnight, who people could hand her over to. I would love to have a super quick labour overnight at home, with DD asleep upstairs, but I would be really lucky for that to materialise I know. I worry she might get woken by me making loads of noise, and I'm a little bit wary of other people coming into the house while I'm in labour to pick her up. Some people I'd feel comfortable with, others much less so. I think i'm just going to have to leave it to DP to look at the options, and manage things so that I don't have to think about it. Hum. I am also worried about having a slow build up to labour, and how on earth I would cope with that.What happens if I start having contractions while I'm out with DD, or if she's having a tantrum somewhere... Maybe I'll just be a bit more house bound towards the end, and stay close to home. I was so knackered on Monday I was running through my mind thinking about if there was anyone I could call so I could go upstairs and sleep - but there isn't really anyone. I'd only want to call DP if it is actual labour, as like your DH he doesn't qualify for paternity leave (he's in a new-ish job too) so can only take a bit of time as it'll largely be unpaid. He could come if I was desperate, but not for exhaustion/braxton hicks/pre labour grumbles.
Despite my grumbling I am excited...
Hope you have a good day, I'll check in again soon x
Hi Yoga, how are you? I've been up since 4.30am in pain and worried so couldn't get back to sleep. My osteopathy treatment didn't help and I'm having to take painkillers all day, however they wear off during the night. I'll have to phone the hospital again in the morning as I really can't walk and had to stay home the whole day yesterday as I couldn't get out. Maternity physio couldn't give me an appointment for another week, but that's pointless as I only have a week and a half to go now. I really feel like I need crutches. The belt is really good, sort of feels like its holding everything together. You can wear it afterwards, but as it sat right over my c section incision I couldn't actually wear it.
The doula is really flexible and will start whenever I need her to, however it is usually postnatal, but I'm sure if I contacted her now she would be happy to help. She didn't seem to think she would need to come in beforehand to get to know our routine and everything as obviously that is all going to change anyway! I think it will just be a case of figuring out what I need at the time and that may change day-to-day anyway.
I actually feel really anxious about how I'm going to cope, especially as I found it really difficult last time and only had one to look after! Practically I'm as prepared as I can be and relieved I've done most things before this happened. What about you? How are you feeling this time round?
It's a bit scary the thought that we could go into labour anytime and that now we already have one DC there is a lot more to think about and plan for them too. At least it sounds like you have a few possibilities for childcare. Although I'm booked in for the 20th I have asked a couple of friends who live near me to be on standby in case anything should happen during the night, in which case they would come to my house and wait until my parents could get here (they live an hour away) and get DS. I wouldn't want to wake him during the night as he would be very confused and upset. I understand you only wanting certain people around at that time, but I'm sure it will all work out ok.
Yeah, just go for a rest while you can! My DS loves to help with the washing etc. so I just do stuff like that when he's awake. I do feel a bit guilty sometimes, but if I'm not rested enough then I'm no good to anyone. Sometimes we just have to prioritise ourselves. I do have a couple of friends nearby who would take DS if I needed to rest, but I don't like to ask unless its an emergency. Do you have anyone closeby?
That's a shame your DP doesn't qualify for paternity leave either, my DH will also be taking unpaid leave, but will only be able to take a week at the most and it will be once I come home as we felt it would be a waste while I'm in hospital. Hopefully my family and friends will visit though as it can be pretty boring being stuck in there. Is it bad that the thing I'm dreading most about hospital is the food? We don't get out to eat often, but I am a real foodie and cook every day at home (even now!) and the thought of eating that processed slop for several days isn't appealing! DH has been warned I will require emergency food parcels!
Anyway, enough moaning. I am off to try and get back to sleep for a bit. DH is meant to be getting DS up and taking him swimming today so I can hopefully rest. Hope you're doing well, speak soon, take care.x
Oh no tiny, really sorry to hear you're in so much pain. Must be awful to have limited mobility - hope you got some help from the hospital. If not, can your DP take a day off to look after you and DS? Would they move the CS forward - you're so close now, but every day in pain and struggling must be a real ordeal.
Great that you've got most of the practical stuff prepared, me too, apart from setting up the birthpool - and that only arrives once I'm 38 weeks, so 2 weeks time. It's a relief to know that side of things is sorted, but still I feel emotionally underprepared for the rollercoaster ride... I would like to stock up on a nice lot of rest and get myself in a peaceful, strong and positive state of mind - however at the moment I am a bit of an exhausted, hormonal wreck. Hum, not sure it's the greatest starting point for labour and toddler/newborn havoc.
I am totally with you worrying about food too - my DP brought in fruit salads, and homemade / nice cafe takeaway stuff when I was in hospital (5 days) after having DD. I couldn't really stomach the hospital food, and also felt that after such a mega effort I deserved treats and rewards. Good food tends to cheer me up which is nice, but rubbish food makes me a bit depressed. Very spoilt, I know. I am thinking of doing an online food order of easy but lovely things to eat, and arranging for it to be delivered soon after the baby arrives. Can you get food delivered near you? Does your DP cook, and can you let him know what stuff you think you'll be craving after having DC2? My mum was in hospital recently and they had an M&S on site - any such luck in your hospital? Their fruit salads, sandwiches/salads, smoothies etc were great. I'm also thinking of being really explicit and asking friends to bring a proper meal when they visit (either me if I end up in hospital, or hopefully, food we can all eat together as a family) - I was told last time how important it is to eat well to assist recovery and help with breastfeeding. Also, I remember hearing the advice that you should prioritise something that will make things seem more normal (be that wearing make up or eating proper meals or having long baths etc) so that you don't feel like you've lost all your routine and stuff that's important to you when you have a newborn. I decided to prioritise food so was cooking the day after I got back from hospital - I found it reassuring to be pottering around the kitchen by myself for half an hour, it almost gave me more energy even though I was knackered. Not sure how that would feel after a CS though...
There are bound to be tough bits but we will cope. We did last time, and we will again. I think that having the shock factor removed will help alot, we know a bit more what having a new baby entails, what crazy hormones mixed with exhaustion feels like, and most importantly, that the difficult stuff passes and gets better.
I got a call from a local playgroup to say they have space for DD if we want - not sure if it is crazy to try and settle her in now, I feel a bit conflicted about it. Would only be 2 days, 3 hours each - on one hand she might really like it but I hate the thought of her feeling pushed out...
I keep meaning to talk to DD properly about the new baby and warning her that it's going to be tough, but can never seem to find the right words or the right time... What have you told your DS?
Sorry for long post, it's good to talk!
Hi Yoga, sorry this is just a short message as I'm in too much pain to sit/stand at the laptop. Your ideas about food sound great, but to be honest this last week I havn't felt like cooking or eating, so am not worrying about it too much at the moment. that's great you were offerred a playgroup place, although I would feel exactly the same as you about it, in that you are probably like me and don't want to make any major changes at the moment so close to baby coming.
I phoned the hosp this morning and luckily it was the maternity physio who had seen me last pregnancy and remembered me so she told me to come in today and she would see me. So my mum dropped me at the door and I phoned to say I was there and they came down with a wheelchair for me. So I've got crutches and 2 support belts to wear. I'm still in a lot of pain, but the crutches are at least enabling me to hobble around the house a bit more. Now just 2 sleeps to go 'til I see the consultant and pray they will take me in this week.
Will write more later, but hope you are doing well and sorry this is so short.x
Good luck, good luck! Consultant really should be able to love your date forward, sounds like things are pretty tough. Wow, you could meet your baby this week! Must be strange having that as a distinct possibility but not confirmed, a weird limbo. Hope you 're feeling ok.
Really pleased hospital visit was productive, but sorry things have got so bad. Almost there.
I've decided to wait until February before doing the playgroup.
All the best tiny, let me know how it goes on Wednesday, I'll have my fingers crossed for you x
Move your date forward! Sorry..,
Hi Yoga, how are you? Well it's 4am and I've finally given in and got up as I havn't even been to sleep yet. Just a quick update - was at my midwife/consultant appointment yesterday and they've agreed to move my c section to this Friday 15th, thanks goodness! They wouldn't do it sooner as I had to have a steroid injection for the baby's lung development and I have to go back in for the second one tommorow, then it's in at 7.30am on Friday!
They were concerned about me going home as I'm not managing at my own and have had a few near misses on the stairs with the crutches, but I really didn't want to stay in any longer than is necessary. Plus, couldn't bear to be parted from my DS for more time as he's going to have to stay with my parents while I'm in anyway. Plus (not very good reason admittedly) the thought of having to eat the hospital food for 2 extra days wasn't really selling it to me either.
It is a pain (literally) having to get back in there again tomorrow (come to think of it, I'll have been up there every day this week other than Tuesday), but a couple of my friends have been really good and come over with their little ones to play with my DS while my mum took me to hospital and the same is happening again tomorrow.
So just one more full day to endure and another night then hopefully the recovery can begin. I am concerned about the aftercare in the hospital though, as my previous experience, particularly with lack of breastfeeding support was not good. I raised this concern with the midwife yesterday and she basically told me I would be better to have external support lined up as the hospital staff were too busy for breastfeeding support. Funny how they all promote it so much antenatally then.
So not quite sure what I'm going to do and panicking a bit. I'm waiting to hear if my doula will be available this weekend to see if her coming in would be an option, other than that I'm going to have to drum up any friends who'v breastfed and hope they may be able to help. Best case scenario the baby will take to it without any problems this time, but I'm not naive enough to think that this time round. It's just that I am totally immobile so nothing is going to be straightforward if I'm having to rely on others.
Anyway, other than all that I'm getting excited about meeting my baby in a couple of days! My DH however has been in denial for the last 9 months and the reality finally hit him yesterday, so now he's panicking! I know he'll be fine though as he was exactly the same last time. It's not like he really has to do much anyway and once he's back at work his life just goes back to normal!
Hope you are well and I'll keep in touch as much as possible, although I don't have internet on my phone so will have to wait 'til I'm home next week to update you. I'll try and get on again before Friday though, no doubt at some ungodly hour again! Take care.x
Wow tiny, this time tomorrow... that is amazing news. I was awake from 3 today, rolled over at 4.30 to check mumsnet and read your post - was so excited for you but didn't want to respond then in case I woke DP. Totally understand that soon mumsnetting and posting is soon going to be so much harder. I will be thinking of you though, and sending you lots of luck and positive vibes. After thinking for ages this little one was going to come early, I've changed my tune, so I think I'll be baby free for a while longer yet. If you need me to do any research (breastfeeding counsellors near you who would do home visits, for example) let me know. I'd be happy to help, and I spend a ridiculous amount of my time looking up baby and childbirth stuff online at the moment. I might as well be doing something constructive!
I really understand the fear that feeding is going to be tricky again. It was only yesterday I really allowed myself to think about it and recognise how traumatic I found the whole thing last time. It felt like a horrible ordeal to get through when I was at my most vulnerable. I really, really don't want to go through that again, it was so upsetting. For me, I think one of the things that didn't help is that it was really stressy right from the beginning. I had lots of 'help' that didn't work and made me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough or I simply wasn't getting it. I wonder if I had been able to just chill out and relax and let DD route around a bit and not pushed it, maybe we might have got there. Or maybe not. But I'm going to try and be as relaxed as poss for the first couple of days at least, just try to relax and rest and sleep and enjoy cuddles. They don't really need anything at first, just a sip of colostrum, and I think I'd be fine about giving that in a syringe again if needed. Hopefully your doula will be able to help and resassure you, and I'm here to talk/ research/ sympathise if you need. It would be seriously unlucky to have problems twice, I think this time will be much easier. Part of the problem with us was that I had flat nipples and DD had tongue tie - apparently after BF the flat nipples aren't such a problem second time round, and it would be really unfair to have two babes with tongue tie...
My hospital had crap post natal care too, some of the staff were lovely but so busy and not skilled with breastfeeding support. I can imagine that post natal care is even more important after CS - make sure you ask whenever you need to - about having the baby moved/changed etc and whenever you need drinks/food/help going to wash etc. I found people were happy to help but often you need to tell them what you need. And after abdominal surgery it will be things like 'please pass me that drink/adjust this pillow/change my baby's nappy'
Good luck for getting through today, try to get as much rest as possible - can you get your friends/mum to stay a little longer after hospital visit so you can nap? Great that DS will be with your parents while you're in hospital, so your DH can visit with food parcels and other requests.
It's funny how two parents can have such drastically different states of preparedness for a baby, but I guess we have been carrying it for 9 months so feel every wriggle, consider all sorts of aspects of pregnancy/childbirth/preparation that they don't feel that connected to or responsible for. My DP is the same. He's been helping out with DD more and doing more around the house, but not super engaged about our imminent arrival. Maybe when we get the birthpool up it will seem more real. I am also planning to write a list of things (not very romantic or exciting...) that I'd like him to do while I'm recovering/looking after newborn. Stuff like doing the laundry, cooking the particularly muddy stuff from the veg box (!), emptying the bins in the bathroom/loo (remember how much you bleed post birth, urgh), making sure the changing areas always have enough stuff. I ran myself ragged trying to do all those practical things when I should have been resting last time.
Good luck again for today, I hope you're not in too much pain (well, I know you are, but I hope you can bear it for just one more day) and I hope you get some sleep.
Good luck for tomorrow, and all the best for a blissful first few days with your little one, and a speedy recovery from the op. Lots of love x
Aww Yoga, thanks so much for your lovely message, I really appreciate it and the offer of help with research. I will certainly let you know if I need anything looked up. I did contact a breastfeeding counsellor nearby, but didn't really feel we clicked, so may just end up asking friends etc. Not sure what my doulas availability will be yet as everything is a week earlier, but we'll see. I have to say I felt exactly the same as you with the breastfeeding situation the first time round and hope I'll be a bit more relaxed about it all, however I am worried about how I'll manage being so immobile. At the moment I'm having to go the loo half an hour before I need to make sure I get there in time! So glamerous isn't it?
Today has been ok. When I turned over in bed when I eventually went back this morning there was a huge crack and I thought 'oh no!', but in actual fact I think something may have clicked back into place as I wasn't in so much pain this morning. However after spending another afternoon in the hospital waiting for one injection I'm back to being really sore again. Had to stand for nearly an hour as there wasn't a bed available and I couldn't sit. This morning I got to go back to bed though as a friend came round and her DD played with my DS, then another friend came with her DS and took over, made us lunch and waited with DS while mum took me back to hospital, so at least I got a rest this morning.
My parents are taking DS away in a couple of hours (which I'm dreading) and I'm just trying to get all my last minute things organised. Think I've got/done everything, but still hobbling around feeling like I've forgotten something.
Anyway, better go but thanks again for the lovely message and I'll be in touch as soon as I can.x
Good luck, good luck! I'll be thinking of you tiny. Remember to ask for help with even the littlest things and take it easy on yourself. Sounds like your mum and friends are lovely and are on hand if you need them. A friend of mine described the first few days with a baby as 'falling in love, all over again' - enjoy xx
Tidyflutterby am joining you having a section this morning. Am tired from not sleeping and bloody hungry too. First time in 9 months not woken up feeling sick!!
I want a cup of tea!!!!
Hope all goes well for you and everyone else due this weekend.
Good luck Madame! All the best, enjoy meeting your baby - I'm jealous....
Tiny and Madame, hope you're both well and that life with a new baby is treating you well. Is it as crazy as the first time? Different? Thinking of you and hoping you are warm, snuggly and having an easy-as-possible time of it xx
Ditto, best wishes to all
I'm still only 34 weeks so got a while to go yet (hoping he'll make an early appearance like my daughter did, at 37 weeks) and very envious (in a nice way) of all of you meeting your babies soon
Hi Yoga and welcome newbies! Well Elliott Nathaniel made his entrance to the World at 11.46am on Friday 15th November weighing 7lb 2oz. He is absolutely gorgeous and I will write more later when I have a bit more time.x
Huge congratulations Tiny Lovely name
Congratulations and a big warm welcome to Elliott! Gorgeous name. Well done tiny, I hope you and all those around you are basking in admiration of the life you have created. What an awesome thing. I hope you're recovering ok from the op, that your back is ok and that the whole issue of feeding is easier on you this time.
I have had an eventful week (not as exciting or as eventful of yours, that's for sure) - I found out I have group B Strep (which means home birth is out of the window, but I can be in the birth centre if things seem ok on the day) and I twisted my ankle last night. Can't put any weight on my foot and have to crawl up and down the stairs. Urgh! I'm hoping it gets better before I go into labour, I remember needing to bear down during pushing last time...
Aw Yoga, so sorry to hear you won't be able to have the birth you planned. These things never seem to turn out the way we hope they will, however at least you will be in the best place and near help should you need it. Hope your ankle is also feeling better.
We are doing ok, I'm absolutely knackered but I guess that's what happens second time round when you don't get a chance to catch up on sleep. I've had a pretty bad urine infection from the catheter I had to have in hosp and my wound is also looking a bit dodgy so having to keep an eye on that.
The stay in hospital was 3 days and actually went pretty quickly thankfully. Food was rotten, ended up living on sandwiches and chocolate and basically didn't sleep at all as the ward had 6 women and 6 babies so you can imagine the noise (even with earplugs). And the heat was unbearable. However my parents kept DS1 for an extra night so we could have our first night home alone with the new baby, which was lovely and peaceful.
Unfortunately after a week of trying to get baby to latch on properly I have had to give up breastfeeding as it was all just becoming too traumatic for both of us. I basically spent the first week trying directly, then expressing and feeding by bottle which was twice as much work and with a put-out 2 year old to contend with also, it was all just too much. Not to mention the agony of cracked bleeding nipples. I did have more help in hospital this time, however I guess it just wasn't meant to be and we are all managing a lot better now I made the decision to stop. It wasn't easy, but I'll just have to get over it and move on this time as I have more than one child to consider and felt I had to do what was best in everyone's interests.
My doula did her first day on Monday and it was amazing - my house was sparkling and both boys asleep and me napping by 2pm! Yesterday was a bit more chaotic with my mum round, but I would definetly say its not such a shock to the system second time round as we are already in a routine and at least you know what to expect. The hardest part is just not enough time to sleep. Been going to bed at 9pm, basically as soon as we can get everyone fed, bathed and into bed and a quick shower for me. Then up a couple of times in the night, but that can be anything from 45 mins to 3 hours at a time! Then I am so awake I can't get back to sleep again or its almost time to get DS1 up anyway! Hoping DH helps out a bit more at the weekend.
DS was a nightmare the week DH had off work, but I think it was mainly to do with the fact that he was looking after him while I tried to bf and deal with baby etc. This week I'm trying to work things so that I get the baby up and fed first so I can devote my time to DS1 to get him up and have breakfast etc. Baby still sleeping lots during the day so I think DS getting enough attention. Just wait 'til I have to add housework etc. into the mix!
Anyway, baby fed, awake and now starting to grumble so better go try and figure out what he needs. Amazing how you forget things.
Hope you feel better soon Yoga and aren't too disappointed about your birth plan. As long as you are both safe and well that's the main thing.x
Ps. I can walk again! Back hasn't been too bad but I'm still on lots of painkillers for my wound so hard to tell what's going on with it. Osteopath said she'd do a home visit so might arrange that for next week when I'm hopefully going to feel a bit stronger.
So lovely to hear from you Tiny, I hope the rest of the week is going well and that things are feeling a bit easier with the feeding. It really sounds like you have made the right decision, I am just so sorry that you had a week of struggling with it. Urgh. I get depressed just thinking about how tough I found feeding issues with DD, sorry that you had to go through that again. Better to make your decision now though rather than prolong the misery. As you say, DS will benefit from having you more available and hopefully you can share feeding with others a bit more and increase your chances of rest. Well done, sounds like you are doing an amazing job and coping with a lot. A urine infection as well? Sheesh, that is not fair. I had a strange itchy rash after DD was born and it felt like my body was falling apart, so uncomfortable but no time to tend to it or pay myself attention really. Good luck with the scar too - do you have a midwife visit coming up to keep an eye on it? That's all you need...
I remember being delirious with sleep deprivation in the first few weeks too, and I also found it quite hard to switch off when I did have a 30 min slot to lie down in... I hope you manage to catch up on sleep over the weekend when your DP is home. Can you just hand over the kids to your mum when she's around or do you have to entertain her too? It can be a funny situation where people who come round to help end up draining you even more...
So pleased the doula is working out well, so good you set that up. An ordered house and time to nap - that sounds like absolute magic, balm for the soul. I think having a baby can really take it's toll on your nerves too, so having someone to provide care and restore order and ensure rest is so so so sensible. I'm really hoping I can communicate what I need to DP so he can do a bit of that, but realistically I know it would have to be someone professional like a doula to come in and do it automatically.
I'm not that bothered about my birth plan now, I was upset for a day or two because I thought I wouldn't get the money back for the birthpool we'd hired, but the woman was amazing and has refunded us in full. I am so grateful to her. I am now really happy to be at the hospital and looked after (although I do remember the noise and disturbance and disappointing food!) and I think it will be much easier to explain to DD what will happen, where I'll be for a few days etc rather than it all be up in the air. And I totally get that anything can happen, I just want us both to be ok - if I end up with another induction, CS, fine. I would like to avoid forceps though... But then again, it could all be lovely and calm and in a pool in the midwife led unit. I guess we just have to take what circumstances give us.
Heartisaspade and madame - thinking of you too. Hope things are going well xx
Hi Yoga, I'm glad you have contented yourself with your change in birth plan, I'm sure it will all be for the best and perhaps the hospital you are going to will be better than the ones here! the one I was in doesn't have the best reputation, however I was fairly well looked after and it was certainly a more positive experience than first time round. Lets hope you still get your calm pool birth, albeit not at home.
Well things didn't work out with the doula. Last week was great, she did her 3 days as agreed, but turned round on Friday and said she was only available one day this week, one day next week and then she was off on holiday over Christmas and wouldn't be available at all! So 2 weeks post-op I've been left to manage on my own and to be honest I've been in a lot of pain as a result as I've had to just carry on with all the household stuff and the kids. I feel very let down, although I've complained to the organisation and they are dealing with it for me. Doesn't help though. And now my mum feels under pressure to try and help me more. I'm in so much pain today I could cry.
On a more positive note, my DH was offered a lot of self employed work last week and it was enough that he could leave the job he was in, so he's back working from home. He's too busy to help me with anything, but just knowing he's there some of the time if I really need him helps. And he's there for dinner and bath time so that's fantastic. The work should last until Christmas and he'll be able to have time off over the festive period (he wouldn't if he was still in that job) and we'll just have to see what develops after that.
With everything that's been going on I havn't even had time to dwell on the feeding issues, although I'm still getting that tingly feeling of the milk let-down when I'm feeding or holding DS2. A bit of a cruel reminder really. Anyway, he's feeding really well on formula now and gaining weight, so that's the main thing. Last couple of night he's been up once and managed to go until about 7am so that's not too bad. Still delirious with tiredness though, but hopefully this phase will be short-lived.
Anyway, I chose to do this rather than my online grocery shop and now I need to go to bed, so will go now. Hope you are well though and thinking of you.x
Hiya tiny, thanks for your message. It's good to connect and to hear from you about life on the other side of pregnancy. I hope you got some sleep and that you're not in too much pain today. Amazing that you've managed to get Elliott settled into sleeping until 7 with just one wake up already. Sounds like FF was an excellent move - feeding well, gaining weight, sleeping for longer stretches - you're doing great.
I cannot believe how let down you've been by the doula. That is so so shocking. She is there to help support you at probably one of the most vulnerable times in your life, when there is so much pressure, you have had major surgery and are managing a huge life transition - on behalf of yourself and your entire family. Her whole job is to be there for you, to help out and prevent you from doing too much. I am furious on your behalf. Can the agency send someone else? Not ideal, I know, but surely they've got to take responsibility for providing the service you need. I imagine just having to deal with it and negotiate and cope with feeling let down must be exasperating. Shocking.
I know you probably don't want advice, but please, please, please don't feel guilty about getting your mum to help out more - even if it's inconvenient for her/she's tired/whatever - it is NOTHING compared to what you are having to cope with at the moment. This is one time in your life when you have to accept support, even demand it. Your poor body needs a chance to heal, and with so much pressure I really think it's important to feel like you can share a bit of the burden. Hand stuff over if you can, let things slide if at all possible. Easier said than done, I know, and probably frustrating to hear when there is no real way to make things easier... Frankly, I am terrified of feeling as unsupported as I felt after having DD. I felt like my base level of security had been ripped out from under me, and nothing could have prepared me for it. Gah, I can't believe you had the doula in place to mitigate all that and she's let you down.
I'm planning to hand over something big (like laundry) to my DP - I'll tell him for the next few weeks he'll need to put a load on every other day and hang it up before bed. Is your DH able to do something like that? It's great he's at home more, and for the rest of the month. I can imagine supper, bath and bed would be torture without. But keep asking for more, just in these next few weeks, even if it wrecks him - it's so important you don't burn out.
Sorry for the rant, I think it's really good for me to process some stuff, sorry if I'm projecting onto you...
I still feel like I've got a week or two to go, although I'm due on Sunday. I'm not too fed up yet (possibly because I'm a bit scared and mentally underprepared for what comes next) and haven't started any of the tricks to bring on labour. For the moment I'm happy to hold off...
I know your time is really, really tight - please don't feel you have to post back. I'll keep popping on and will let you know how I'm getting on. But I'm here for you. I know this is a difficult time, but it will get so much better, easier, more managable, and fun. Hang on in there xx
Hi Yoga, how are you? Thinking about you due tomorrow, how are things? Any sign of baba yet? Thanks so much for listening. The agency did offer to find another doula but by this point I had had to manage for a week on my own and to be honest I didn't think it would be worth spending any more money when I was managing not too badly myself. Plus, I couldn't be bothered having to interview more as I just don't have the time or the headspace. I am very angry about it, especially since my DH is being very unsupportive and unsympathetic. He keeps moaning about being tired and finding things difficult, yet he hasn't really done anything, not one night feed. He even had the cheek to grudge me a nap this afternoon, even though I'd been up half the night as Elliott is proving difficult to settle after he wakes for a feed.
Yeah, my mum's been good in that she will take DS1 out for a bit so I can rest, but she's disabled herself so it's not that easy for her. She's been coming up a couple of times a week though, which is better than nothing. To be honest, as long as DS1 has an afternoon nap I can usually manage to get through the day.
I understand how terrified you feel re. support, however remember that as women we have strength and resilience we do not even know we have and we have friends (me included!) who are there to listen and support, which can often be better than DP's, who are really a completely different species and don't have a clue what we have or are going through. Good plan with the laundry. My DH said he wouldn't do it right, so that was his get-out clause, however I made a list for him this morning eg. clean bathrooms, hoover etc. basically the stuff I really can't manage. I can do the basics like dishes, laundry (he just lifts it upstairs) and preparing meals. And don't worry, you're not projecting.
Slightly off-topic, but did you follow any books/routines first time round? I loosely followed Gina Ford and am keen to get Elliott into a routine as it will make my life easier, but have found it's not really working as it's too rigid. A friend gave me a book called 'The Sensational Baby Sleep Plan' and I've been trying that today. It's basically feeds every 3 hours 7am-7pm with naps in between, then bedtime (no late feed as apparently it interrupts their natural sleep pattern) and night feeds whenever. She reckons they should be sleeping through by 8 weeks or so, so we'll see how tonight goes anyway. I had to try something as he seems to be sleeping all day then really difficult to settle at night. He's only been having one night feed about 3am, but is then awake and unsettled for 3 hours and I'm up and down to him constantly. So we'll see how tonight goes anyway. I've also had to put him in his own room as every murmer is making me feel like I have to do something and she reckons tehy sleep better without parents disturbing them constantly too. It's hard though and I'm going in and checking on him all the time. My DS1 was in his own room from a few weeks old too. I know they tell you to keep them in with you for 6 months, but my friends who did that found they had problems getting them to sleep in their own rooms by that stage, whereas my DS has always been quite happy on his own.
Anyway, need to go to bed. My DH is relaxing watching tv and I want to strangle him! Hope you're well and thinking about you lots. Big hugs.x
Hi tiny - yup, due date today! I was in hospital last night for monitoring as I had a bit of red blood. Think it was just a bit of plug coming away, I felt my body was getting ready for something and the baby was quite low. However, now the baby has moved back up a bit - I think might have been freaked out by the hospital, internal exams etc as its heart rate shot up after the examination (which is why they kept me on the monitor for AGES and I didn't get home til after midnight). I'm pretty tired today, but pleased all is well. Don't think I'll be meeting baby today, despite DD being born on her due date.
I wanted to reply to your question about routines - we went on a course with a midwife before having DD who recommended a fairly relaxed routine of Feed, Play, Sleep. You start a feed roughly every 3-4hours in the daytime, but don't wake baby up to feed at night unless there's a medical reason to do so. DD still woke, but didn't need feeding from 4 months. It worked quite well for us. I think the idea is you don't let them fall asleep during feeds, and instead of instantly offering milk in between scheduled feeds you see if they need to sleep / change scenery or nappy or interact. And roughly aim for a period of sleep between feeds (just ideally not STRAIGHT after). I used to keep a record of feeding start times on my phone so I could check when it was roughly time to do another. I did have a rough plan with times on but can't find it - I might email the midwife and see if she'll send it through. I'll let you know, but to be honest we never really stuck to the times on the sheet, more an approximation of them, which I guess is what we'll have to go with having a toddler in the mix too.
From what I remember there's the morning feed - 7ish, then 10 or 11ish, then 2ish, then 5ish. She recommends breastfeeders to cluster feed 5-8pm, but with formula you could prob just follow the 5ish feed with 7ish bedtime feed. For the first few months (until they drop it) she also suggested your partner do 11pm feed (and that you go to sleep as early as possible so you're able to bank a good lot of sleep until they wake in the night for feeding). That was a godsend to me, I would be in bed by 8.30 most nights, so even if my night was really disturbed I'd usually had a solid stretch of 5 hours. Does your DH have a feed he 'does' - I'd recommend handing over last one of the night at least. When DD had given that one up, I handed over the very early morning one, we agreed anytime after 5am, so DP got a reasonable stretch of sleep too.
Some of the recommendations are quite similar to the ones in The Baby Whisperer - have you read that? Basically the routine is EASY - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You. I found some of the advice useful, although we didn't follow it to the letter. We 'shusshed' DD to sleep a lot, doing less and less each time, in an attempt to get her to go off on her own.
Got to go now, but I'll post again later x
Tiny, I also wanted to say what a boost it was to read your post - I was in the hospital on Sat, slightly panicking about the baby's racing heartrate, and thought I'd distract myself with mumsnet on my phone. Great to have had a sane, understanding voice in there with me (DP was at home looking after DD)
Sorry to hear that your DH isn't being more supportive. Sounds like he expects to continue getting on with life as it has always been - still stressful at times, with work etc but in comparison to yours, ridiculously comfortable. Even the teensy-ist bit begrudging on their part seems like an enormous affront doesn't it? Just going to show how they simply don't get it. Your insides have been ripped apart, you are delirious from lack of sleep, you have just produced a whole other human being and are running the show pretty much on your own, keeping the family and house together. And simply not having the energy to articulate the situation so they get it and pull their finger out. If it's any consolation, I think most women experience this at some point with their DPs after having DC, even though some are much worse than others. Hopefully this is just a stage and things will even out and balance better later. As you say, women cope with so much, have so much inner strength. It's incredible.
Really sorry about the situation with the doula as well. I know it would be more effort than its worth to get someone else in at this point, so annoying that you were let down and had to deal with it a week post op, with a newborn and toddler to look after. You have every right to be angry.
Great idea about putting Elliott in another room - I used to take DD down when she woke early early morning, and sleep with her on the sofa (not recommended I know) - it worked ok for us then, as she wouldn't settle back in her cot and was keeping both of us awake, but something about being carried into a different environment meant she could snooze a little longer. Anyway, it would be good not to have to repeat that this time round as it wasn't great for my sleeping, and I think most of the time DD was actually fine, just snorting and grunting and making noises in her sleep, semi waking but not needing anything. But it kept me awake, vigilant and hyper alert to whether or not I should intervene now or wait until she properly woke. Crazy. When I should have been sleeping. Had she been in her own room she could have snorted away and I'm sure we'd all have slept better.
We have a co-sleeper cot (one you fix to the side of the bed) which we didn't have before (we borrowed it this time round). We'll see how it goes, but I would defo move DC2 into a different room earlier on if it improves sleep.
No sign of baby arriving anytime soon, I had a few days feeling slightly crampy but nothing to get excited about. Not feeling too impatient yet, but I'm sure I'll start getting more anxious as time goes on. Got a midwife appointment in a bit, hopefully she can tell me baby's heartrate is normal and seems happy.
Will keep you posted x
Hi Yoga, how are you? Been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you are getting on. How are things with baby's heart rate? Any more signs of imminent arrival?
I've had an exhausting couple of days with my mother-in-law staying to 'help'. I wasn't keen in the first place as she actually ends up giving me more work than she actually helps me, but when she found out about the doula she was desperate to help and as they live far away and my DH doesn't see them that often so I agreed. However, I wish I hadn't. In fairness she did all the cooking and even some more stuff for my freezer so that was a help, however she left my kitchen in a terrible mess and I've been scrubbing oil off everything all day and re-doing most of the dishes. She also stood and watched me clean the bathroom this morning and I've been left with a mountain of extra bedding and towels to wash (thankfully my mum usually helps out with 'big' washing as she has a tumble dryer).
Also, she just talks all the time and none of us could get on with anything we had to do. I barely got to rest and my DS wouldn't nap as there was too much going on, so we're all exhausted. I ended up in tears today after she left as I was just so frazzled. Needless to say it was just another thing for DH and I to argue about, to the point where I was seriously considering packing up the boy's things and moving to my parent's for a few days. I ended up writing him a letter last night to try and explain how I felt as there doesn't seem any way of getting through to him. It didn't help much but I felt better for writing it down.
Yes, it's working out well having Elliott in his own room, he has slept better and so have I. I can hear the cries, but not all the little funny noises that keep you awake. I'm still putting him down when I put DS down about 8pm and last night he only woke once at 2.30am, although he wouldn't settle so we were up for a couple of hours, but that was him 'til I woke him at 7.30am this morning, so hoping he'll only feed once again tonight (but hopefully be easier to settle). His cot is actually one of those that goes on the side of the bed too, however I never intended to use it for that purpose and he's actually still in the mosses basket anyway.
Well I hope you are both doing ok and I'll keep thinking of you, sending positive vibes that all goes well and you get the birth experience you want.x
Hi tiny - all good with baby, midwife thought heart rate sounded fine. Not sure how imminent arrival is, I feel quite chilled today, whereas I was a hormonal mess yesterday. I have no idea what the signs might be...
MIL visit sounds like my idea of hell, thank god its over. SO annoying when folk who mean to help end up exhausting and frustrating you. I remember that making me feel miserable, like a reminder that no matter what I did - accept offers of help etc - life was just a slog and there was no magic to make it easier. It will get better, and it sounds like you've done a great job of steering things into a workable rhythm on your own. So tiring though. I really hope your DH starts being more supportive. Did you give him the letter? Did it help? I've been writing stuff down that I mean to communicate with DP to help me get my head round what I feel and what I think I need, but haven't actually shared the written versions with him yet.
And if you really feel that your life could be made easier, there could be some sense of having a break from the frazzled feeling by staying with your folks, I'd say go for it. Go with your gut instinct - and go because it will help, not because you're angry (cos then it could be really gutting if it isn't as relaxing as needed). Good luck whatever you decide to do. I really, really hope he starts to see things from your perspective soon and starts pulling his weight. Thinking of you xx
Hi Yoga, glad all seems well and you are feeling a bit more chilled today, just take it easy as it will be any day now.
I'm miserable, this in-law situation just goes from bad to worse. My father in law has now emailed my DH to say they didn't feel welcome. Well I'm sorry, but I can't be the hostess with the mostest when I've just had a baby and major surgery and people are coming to stay and expecting to be entertained. I'm so angry as no-one seems to understand what I've just been through and all they are succeeding in doing is spoiling this special time for me and adding to an already stressful situation. I just feel like running away.
Anyway, sorry you don't need to be hearing all this right now. Thinking of you and will check in as often as I can to see how you're getting on.x
You are JOKING? That is beyond awful, I am so sorry. I'd be fuming. Hope your DH can see what a dickhead his dad is...
I would absolutely feel like running away too. At least can you try to emotionally detach from the in laws? I wouldn't see them or think about them until I was feeling up to it, just focus on getting through the next few weeks and trying to keep the balance and rhthym going in your family. That really is outrageous tiny. Some people are so clueless...
Thinking of you x
Oh, and by the way - does your DH see that it is absolutely his job now to protect you from stuff like this? Grrr, it makes me mad...
Hi Yoga, well after an entire evening with me in hysterics and arguing with DH, we have agreed that his dad had no right to do that and that DH is on my side. He is going to speak to them to explain that obviously I need to rest and can't be my usual sociable self and entertain them. He has also told me if they offer help again we are just going to say we don't need it.
I'm just so angry as if the doula had kept to the agreement they wouldn't have been here in the first place. I plan just to distance myself and hopefully now that Elliott's room is the 'spare' room we don't really have space for them to stay unless they sleep on the sofas and I doubt they'd want to do that very often. Also I have the excuse of my back and the 3 hour car journey to their house, so hopefully won't have to do that any time soon.
I do feel bad for my DH, as obviously they are his parents and I would never want to ask him to choose between us, but I know he knows what they are like, he'd just not say it. He didn't have the best upbringing as his dad never even wanted kids in the first place and I don't think he was there for him growing up.
Anyway, I have to run now, but I could realy have done without all that upset. Thinking of you and thanks for your support.x
Really pleased your DP sees how out of order his dad is. Sorry, but what a wanker. Makes me mad, that as you say, he prob wasn't actively involved in looking after your DH when he was a kid so no idea how hard it is. Probably didn't support your DH's mum enough, yadda yadda yadda. So rubbish that you've had to deal with their crappy family stuff when you should be left alone to enjoy and cope with your own.
I'm in a bit of a bad mood at the mo, feel like I'm coming down with a cold which is just what I don't need pre labour... Urgh.
Still got a cold, but midwife visited today and baby's head is free. So prob still not gonna come for a while yet... I'm ok to wait, I think, as I really want to recover from the cold before going into labour and having a newborn to deal with, but the midwife also warned me what a nightmare hospital will be over Xmas... URgh. Will let you know how we get on.
Hope all is well with you and that your family is getting gradually more settled, and you are able to slowly recover from section and newborn frenzy. All the best x
Hi Yoga, hope you're recovering from your cold. Can't believe you're going to have a Christmas baby! How long will they leave you before they do an induction? I think it's 12 days here, although I know it differs from area to area.
Things still very up in the air here I'm afraid, things just not the same between DH and I, but is it any wonder with the amount of stress we're under? He's now back to worrying about work now too. He's annoyed with his dad now as he hasn't even got back to him after he emailed back to ask what was going on and said last night that the more he thinks about it the more angry he is that his family just don't seem to understand or have any empathy for anyone else and if he's learned anything it's that he knows he can be like that too and he doesn't like it. I bet if they realised just how close to breaking point we are they would be horrified that they'd added to it. Personally I think he should tell them.
Anyway, enough about that. Elliott was one month old yesterday! I honestly can't believe how fast it's gone and he's already outgrown some of his first clothes! He's eating like a horse, but the last 2 nights he's only been up to feed once, so I'm hoping that pattern will continue as I can just about cope with that.
Sorry got to run as I'm burning dinner, but thinking of you, take care and hope you feel better soon.x
Hi Tiny, I'm still waiting for this baby! Only just started to feel that I've turned a corner with the cold, and had an emergency dentist appointment yesterday as my wisdom teeth were really flaring up - couldn't eat or sleep they were so painful. But not infected which is good news. I may have to have them out at some point once the baby is born, but for now it is paracetamol, a prescription gel, and hoping they calm down after the birth.
The plan is for a sweep tomorrow, then induction on Monday. Amazing that things will happen in the next 4 days, it has made planning (who will look after DD, what food / provisions do we have in / what will we be doing for Xmas etc) a bit easier than having to work with a 4-5 week window. We might even put up the cot and buggy today, as we know they won't be hanging around for weeks not getting used.
Sorry to hear things have been tough with your DH, absolutely no wonder considering the amount of stress you both have been under. I feel for you and hope things get better for you soon. So rubbish of his parents to have heaped their crap on you both, and I imagine it must be particularly painful for him having to confront how his parents are unable to provide support, when he prob needs them most. And then you're left with a partner who can't be 100% there for you, and his family - his main responsibilities now - because he has his own other stuff to deal with, occupying and upsetting him. I agree it would be good for his folks to know the impact of their behaviour, but perhaps it's too raw and difficult for your DH to do right now. They might need to be ignored and cut out for a bit, then he can talk to them about it when he feels more settled. My DP spoke to my dad on my behalf, a few days after DD was born, telling him to back off (dad was moaning on about how I never answered my phone, what was I doing?) - he was being an ignorant idiot with no understanding at all of life with a newborn. I think particularly a lot of men of that generation are pretty clueless. Luckily DP's folks are more enlightened and could be counted on more for support rather than being complete drains.
Pleased to hear Elliott is getting better and better at sleeping and eating. How are you healing? How is your back? I can't believe you are one month in either?! In a way such a mega amount has happened for you in such a short space of time, but how did it get to be a whole month? I certainly don't feel that much time has passed since we've been checking in with each other and reporting back since his birth... Wow. Time warp.
How is your DS1 with Elliott? Is he a bit bored/interested/helpful/difficult... or a mix? So hard to imagine how DD will be...
I'll be in touch soon, hopefully with some news!
Oh Yoga, I can't believe you're still hanging on! I thought when you hadn't been on here for a few days that maybe the little one had made an appearance. He/she is obviously waiting until you are stronger. sorry to hear about your teeth too, it all happens at once doesn't it?
Aww so exciting it's going to happen in the next few days! And so close to Christmas too. I take it you don't have many plans for Christmas this year? It is my family's turn to be graced with our presence this year, thanks goodness given what's hapenned. They never put any pressure on us though so it's all very relaxed. We plan to stay here on Christmas morning as DS1 is really into things this year, so he can see if Santa's been, then we'll head over to my folks after lunch. We may stay there for a night or two. DH mentioned about going to see his own family at some point, but I told him I wasn't going. However I don't expect any of them to understand, but I actually couldn't care less if I never saw any of them again. However he has to go and will take DS1 with him. Still, might be nice for me to have to alone time with Elliott and hopefully I should get some rest as I can nap when he does.
Sorry to hear about your dad not being understanding. I think it's more a case of people don't realise what a physical, emotional and life-altering event having a baby is and they expect you just to act like you normally would. Add to the mix surgery, sleep deprivation and any other coinciding life events and try to act like yourself. I guess we just have to stop being sensitive to what others think and just distance ourselves if they refuse to understand and give us a break. Better to surround ourselves with the people who genuinely understand and care.
Elliott has only been up once per night somewhere between 2am and 4am for almost a week now which is really good and we're hopefully on the right track. I'm healing ok, physically if not emotionally! To be honest I feel a bit robbed of this special time by all these people who are upsetting me. My back hasn't been too bad, although we had a long car trip yesterday and it's not so good after that. Also Elliott is getting heavy!
I know I can't believe it's been a month either! I feel like I know you like an old friend! It's a shame we love so far apart or I could pass on some of Elliott's outgrown clothes, especially if you have a boy!
DS1 is starting to take more of an interest, although I've got to watch him like a haw as he can be a bit overenthusiastic at times! We can see he's jealous sometimes, but are obviously trying our best to see that that doesn't happen. It's a weird one as you don't really know what goes on in their little heads at that age. I'm sure your DD will be fine. some tips I read were to get them a special present from the baby to give when they meet and also not to be holding the baby when they first come to visit you.
Well, if I don't speak to you before, I hope all goes to plan and I will be thinking of you each day and sending positive thoughts your way. Good luck!x
Just popping in to say DD2 arrived this morning! I was convinced she was going to be a boy, and as the midwife didn't announce the sex and I had to triple check! We are thrilled. SO pleased not to be pregnant anymore, I was getting really fed up. Great labour, despite some tearing. We're going to call her Matilda. Will update more later, sending lots of love x
Aw Yoga, huge congratulations and best wishes to you and your family! I'm so glad it happened without intervention and glad all went well for you. Lovely name too, so pleased for you and good to have everything behind you before Christmas. How has DD1 taken to her little sister? How are you getting on with feeding? Well, enjoy and I'll be thinking about you all over Christmas, bug hugs and lots of love.x
Oh, meant to ask what weight was she?x
Thanks tiny! She was 8lbs exactly - the last bit happened very quickly and I worries that I must have torn terribly but apparently only 2nd degree, and all seems to be healing well. As soon as I started on the gas and air cobra yobs ramped up and she was born 1 hour 45 mins later! So reliev I didn't have an ordeal that lasted days and days, I don't feel too bad now despite lack of sleep.
I don't know if the extra 2 weeks inside has helped, or lack of tongue tie, but so far so good with the feeding. I honestly can't believe it. It hurts and I'm probably doing it wrong but Matilda seems to latch ok and for the moment I'm just going with it.
We haven't decided what to do about Xmas - stocking in bed for DD, then either 1 hour drive to my parents for lunch, or maybe they could come to ours for tea. Bit sure which would be easier/more fun or what I'll most feel like on the day. Can't believe it is just 2 days away, it really crept up. I am very pleased Matilda arrived when she did and not right over Christmas.
Your plans sound great, will be nice to celebrate with your family and hopefully gave done time with Elliott while your DH and DS1 leave you to it. Absolutely don't go to the in laws! Hope your DH will be able to improve things in that department while he's there, but it is definitely not for you to do or even think about. You are so right - it 's important not to worry about what other people think, others' expectations - just got to concentrate on adjusting to the new way of things, coping as best you can and trying to savour the good bits.
Sorry you feel robbed of special times - there will be plenty more ahead. You have been let down by those who were meant to support you though, you have every right to be a get at them. Anger is so unpleasant though, such am uncomfortable feeling, sorry you're lumbered with it, urgh. Hopefully it will fade with time, and as things improve generally.sounds like Elliott is getting into a really good routine and sleeping well. Matilda was feeding most of the night for the past 2 nights, hoping to change that soon...
DD1 has been ok so far, nice and affectionate, but we'll see how that plays out.
It's so nice to chat, thank you for all your support! Wishing you well over Christmas, I'll let you know how ours goes. Xx
So glad things are going well Yoga and hope you and your family have a great Christmas with the new addition. Will be thinking of you all, lots of love.x
Happy Christmas! We went with the option of having visitors - goodness, that was tiring enough! My mum made a cake, bless her, but apart from that no one else brought food or made tea or anything, so me and DP are absolutely shattered. Practically no sleep last night either - a couple of blocks of 40 mins, interspersed with feeding, changing, crying (me more than Matilda) and trying to settle. Fingers crossed for tonight...
Hope you had a good day and that your parents have been able to help out a bit.
Oh that's a shame, I can't believe no-one brought anything or helped out. I have to say we had one or two visitors like that, but anyone I felt comfortable enough with I just asked them to help themselves. People just don't have a clue do they? I hope you managed to get some rest the last couple of days and catch up a bit.
Our Christmas was ok, but I still don't feel like I'm living in the present, everything is a bit fuzzy, I guess just tiredness. My back has been really bad too so that's not helping. However, Elliott is doing good and we're still trying to follow our routine, so he goes to bed about 8pm and last night didn't wake 'til 6am! We stayed at my parents on Christmas night, but it wasn't that easy getting up through the night and having to take all the bottles, steriliser etc. and all the faffing about that goes with that. however DS1 had a ball and it was lovely to see him so excited opening his presents, so that made up for everything else.
I hope you're feeling a bit better now and things are beginning to settle down a bit. The first few weeks are always chaotic and to be honest I don't even remember much now. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks already! Take care and I hope you are getting plenty of support from your DP. Hugs.x
8-6 sleeping?! That is SO good - I hope you get a run of those and Elliott adopts it as a fixed routine. Matilda just woke at 1.30 and 6 which I felt was a triumph, but she didn't settle for the night until 11ish...
I know what you mean about feeling fuzzy and not living in the present, I had that a lot with DD1. Defo think the tiredness and the being 'on' all the time made it worse, like being pumped with adrenaline, but foggy because of the tiredness. Don't have it really this time round - did you feel like that after DS1? Think it really helps me this time round that my DP gets what he needs to do, whereas I felt like I was coping on my own last time. How is your DH now? Hope trip to his parents was enlightening and that be is starting to get it more...
I think I'm getting mastitis, urgh, went to GP this morning to get antibiotics just in case it flares up tomorrow when everything is shut. Can't believe you're about 7 weeks in now! Does it get magically easier at 6 weeks?! To be honest Matilda isn't too demanding at the mo, apart from not sleeping solidly at night, it's just juggling 2 kids and DD1's need for interaction and attention that is tricky.
And I can't see that really getting any easier - yikes...
Anyway, happy new year! I hope we have an easy run of it, with many special times ahead. Big hug xx
Hi Yoga, happy new year to you to! How are you and Matilda and the rest of your little family getting on? Hope the mastitis didn't materialise after all, I can only imagine and sympathise, but from experience, breast pain is like no other and no amount of painkillers help. I used to have 2 weeks of agony before my period and even after my c section, the pain from the milk engorgement after I stopped expressing was worse than that from my wound.
I was actually more fuzzy first time round, but had a complete meltdown, so it's no surprise. I still feel like that now as I'm exhausted, even though Elliott is sleeping more or less right through, we're having major problems trying to get him to settle at night, so I'm getting no time at all to try and unwind myself. In fact tonight I've felt like running away as DH is on a Christmas night out and I put Elliott down at 8pm and he's pretty much cried on and off for 2 hours and even when I pick him up it doesn't seem to help, so after 2 hours I've caved in and given him a dummy, but I just feel like such a failure for resorting to that and not being able to calm him myself. I just don't know why he won't settle or what I'm doing wrong and it's now 10.30pm and I don't feel I can go to bed until he's asleep.
Anyway, I'm glad your DP is helping you more. My DH is ok at times, but doesn't have a clue at others. His trip away did seem to help and he had it out with his parents and told them we almost split up because of all the upset they had caused and his dad apologised to him (I'm still waiting right enough), but at least the air has been cleared. However, I'll never feel the same about them and the less time I have to spend with them the better.
I'm actually finding juggling the two kids easier than I thought and DS1 seems to be able to entertain himself a bit more than I thought. DH has been around a lot the last few weeks though and helping out with him, so it may be different once I'm coping on my own again, but definetly getting into a vague routine has helped. For example I always wake and feed Elliott about 7.30am, no matter what time he's been up already, as DS1 wakes up about 8am, so it means I can get Elliott ready then get DS1 up and ready without trying to sort both at the same time. Then I try to work it so that both aren't needing fed at the same time, although it doesn't always work out that way! How is your DD1 taking to her little sister? DS1 seems to have got used to Elliott and I managed to get him to hold him on his lap yesterday for a photo, however he got fed up and sort of pushed/rolled him off his lap so poor Elliott was lying face down on the couch!
Anyway, I'd better go and see if he's asleep. I can still hear murmerings but no crying touch wood, so hoping that's him. Have called DH in tears already and he said he'll come straight home if I need him to. He mentioned silent reflux before so we're going to take him to the children's hospital tomorrow to get checked out in case there is something more serious going on. It's just it seems to be getting worse rather than better as time goes on and I'm now dreading every time I have to put him down for bed or a nap.
Hope you are doing well.x
Hi tiny, hope appointment at the children's hospital went well - did they find or suggest anything? Matilda is also a right pain to settle at night, I think it is a horrible mix of tiredness and wind (worse in the evening for done reason) and general fussiness. It is without doubt the bit if the day I find most difficult too - seems do unfair that after holding it together and getting through the day, when I'm most tired and in need of a break, that is when I feel most tested! Anyway, I hope you got some answers and it starts getting easier. Please don't feel bad about using the dummy! We used one for DD1 and I am constantly thinking about getting Matilda one, as it really helped DD1's sleep. Only thing is, Matilda doesn't actually seem that 'sucky' - it's something else she's bothered by. I have tried offering her my little finger to suck (I remember DD1 really going for this) but Matilda just turns away. I think you've just got to go with what gives you a bit of peace and seems to work in the early days, time to fine tune things when life is a little calmer later on.
So I didn't get mastitis after all, but was really stressed by the prospect if it. I had visions of waking up in the middle if New Year's Eve night with a temperature and excruciating breast pain. Thank god it didn't happen!
I'm pleased you're feeling better this time round than first time. Me too. But the time to de-pressurise is so important I think. I had a bath today for the first time, was great just to feel physically my own for a bit. But it's probably the things we can work into a regular routine rather than one off bites of time that will make the difference...
Pleased your DH cleared the air with his parents and at least they understand a bit more now though. Still don't blame you for keeping your distance though, they messed up when you really, really didn't need it.
Amazing you have for your kids into such a workable routine - sleeping through sounds like a dream! Matilda is generally waking just one but settling takes forever, and she often only properly goes down at midnight so it still feels tough.
DP goes back to work tomorrow - argh! Wish me luck... x
Hi Yoga, just a quick message in between trying to settle Elliott and get a shower! Great Matilda is only waking once, although I know it still feels like a lot when they take ages to settle, but on the right track anyway. Interesting you say about 'sucky' babies - Elliott is defintely one of those, but its so irritating as people keep saying 'oh look he's hungry' when I've just fed him. My mother in law was the worst.
Well, turns out he has silent reflux so is now on infant Gaviscon, although it may take a while to work. It really explains a lot now as he is so windy, unsettled and wriggles around when being fed too. Apaprently its really common, but because they're not sick like the 'normal' kind it often goes undiagnosed. Just a relief to find out so we can act on it. I'm taking him to the GP on Fri to see how it's going and if there's any improvement. I also have my postnatal check up.
Anyway, got to run as he's still screaming. Good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure you'll be fine. My DH starts a new job next Monday so that will e all new for me too as he's been around for the last few weeks and I've got used to the extra pair of hands!x
Hope postnatal checkup and Elliott's GP review go well today. Has the reflux improved at all? Hours of inconsolable crying sounds unbearable, especially in the evening. Matilda is still a right pain to settle, and woke for 3 feeds last night. I feel just about ok but DP is a bit of a zombie. Tough having to go to work and function on so little sleep. Think he's going to sleep in spare room from now on, shame as it really helps me to have moral support when Matilda is fussing and refusing to settle.
DD1 is being surprisingly tolerant of her little sister - so sweet (and a bit precarious) to see her giving Matilda a cuddle on the sofa. She also managed to kick her while doing summersaults and also stuck a plaster on her head...
How are you feeling? Are you able to get any time in evening to unwind? I must admit I am looking forward to the time when I am physically a bit freer and can go to yoga classes, the pub, a holiday... Feels good not to be pregnant anymore even though my body doesn't feel totally my own at present.
Are you planning in having any more? I think me and DP have decided this is it for us, so I am trying to enjoy it and savour the good bits, as as feeling massive relief that as each tough stage passes we won't need to do it again...
Have a good weekend x
Hi - just a thought tiny, I am going to pm you my email address in case you want to carry on talking via email rather than mumsnet. No worries at all if not, but you'll have my address just in case xx
Hi Yoga, got your address and have emailed you - great idea!x
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