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Graduated Elderberries (thread 2)(1000 Posts)
Oops, seems we ran out of room without noticing!
Haha I found you Cavort (tho my phone just called you Cavity, which seems harsh)
Lazy ish Saturday for me but need to acquire shredder to sort junk room out. Arrgh.
Was woken up at 730 this morning by OH who's away, and the sound of my phone woke baby bear too, which was funny
have a happy Saturday all!
How funny 'the artist formerly known as Rah' I wonder what I looked like in your subconscious!
Well I'm it a happy Monster, OH didn't come home from work until gone 10 last night, stayed I bed until 11 this morning, got up and went straight back! So I'm thinking of changing my name too, to bloody Cinders as yet again even though I'm in quite a lot of pain I've got to do all the housework, lug the washing to mums because our machine is STILL broken and deal with two mental dogs who didn't get walked last night and I can't take myself without any help at all, as bloody usual. Is there any fecking wonder I cry?
I want to swap days with Fairy!
Yeah apologies for the name change - I know it gets confusing but I was far too obvious with the old one.
Purple I generally struggle to remember dreams but I think you were short (as you've mentioned) with long dark hair. And you were obviously a faster runner than me even with your bad hips.
Boo to your OH being a workaholic and leaving you to struggle on your own. But at least he's not around for you to think he's a knob? <clutches at straws>
Yup, short legs, long dark hair, that's me! Your brain just got the running bit wrong, these little legs weren't built for running even before my hips broke.
I still think he's a knob even though he's not here, it just means I can chunter loudly about his knobishness as I clean without him hearing
Ah here you are, marking place.
Checking in after my wedding dress fitting - still in love with it!
My sister thought I was joking when I told her I was pregnant
Wish she'd just said yay congrats
why would she think that? You haven't told everybody you plan to remain child-free or anything?
Think she was just taken aback. Maybe people thought we would wait to get married first
When's your Wedding Fairy ? I think an unexpected surprise is a good thing.
Everyone knew TTC was on the cards for us so when we told them everyone was pleased but not surprised.
It's September 2014 and as I'm nearly 34 we didn't want to wait until after we got married to have babies!
what an odd reaction fairy. maybe she really was suprised?
I wonder if my folks will react the same as I've always said I wanted to get married first. But I'm 30 now and my OH craps himself at the thought of marraige even after 7 years together, I didn't want to wait till he plucked up the courage to ask me so decided to go baby first, white wedding some time later.
Have to say I'm a wee bit jealous of all the married ladies.
I think she was just floored but even when people have surprised me with 'announcements' I've always pasted a smile on and said congratulations!
I am massively excited for wedding next year - gives me something to aim for to shift the baby blubber!
Hello everyone - briefly lost you! Marking place...
Fairy - sure she was just taken aback with the lovely surprise
She better have been or I'll sack her from bridesmaid duty lol
Haha, bet shes thrilled for you. She'll probably call you tomorrow to congratulate you once shes out of shock.
My Mum didn't believe me either Fairy and she knew we were ttc! Think it's the shock.
Gee thanks sis! I guess she must have been expecting wedding first, but still... Can at least say congrats!
Like you guys Fairy and Mother I'm an unmarried... Had planned traditional order but body clock persuaded us to go vice versa so you're not the only ones!
Had very unfruitful shopping trip today, no mat clothes in Next, New Look or DP and H&M only had casual stuff. Will have to venture to much bigger stores but you'd think in a city there'd be something to at least look at...
I'm not married either but we're not in any rush, tbh having a child together is a bigger commitment than marriage anyway!
Brave I have found it is a real struggle to find Maternity clothes off the peg anywhere except Mothercare and Mamas & Papas, which are both really expensive. My local New Look on a retail park does have a small range though but everything else has been ordered online.
I don't think you unmarried ladies have anything at all to worry about. This is not the 40's. I really wasn't arsed about being married before having a baby and it's only turned out that I am because we only wanted a smallish wedding with a quick turnaround. If we'd had a longer engagement I would have definitely TTC in the meantime like you lot.
I think all the talk of weddings had lulled my sister into thinking we wouldn't try for babies before next year lol. Next there's the issue of telling my parents - we don't get on....
Ahhh the parents. I haven't got much of a relationship with my Mum so I just phoned her and told her in quite a matter-of-fact way before making up an excuse why I had to hang up quicky. It was hard enough getting used to the idea myself without her subtly trying to piss all over my chips (as is her classic style).
Sounds so familiar cavort
I honestly have no idea how my parents will react as I've not seen or spoken to them in 4 weeks!
My mother is this matriarcal type who has her own rules for everything and I've got bored of it all
mother, I've always found it interesting that a man that's "not ready yet" for marriage doesn't have any issues with TTC. Surely child is a bigger commitment? You can always get a divorce if it didn't work out, but will be connected to your DC and their other parent for the rest of your lives.
Ok so today's pregnancy angst is fundal height. Have any of you measured yours yet?
I was in a busy pub last night standing next to my friend who is due 12 days before me and is now looking gloriously bloomingly pregnant and as a result everyone was courteously watching they didn't knock into her and making sure she was ok. I, on the other hand, just look a bit fat and was being battered by people trying to squeeze past me and standing on my toes etc.
felt a bit inadequate wondered if everything was on track and measured FH this morning. It is 23cm and I am 23+4. According to Dr Google the general rule of thumb is that you should measure 1cm for every week of pregnancy in which case I am bang on target, but in my notes there is a personalised FH chart which says I should be measuring 25cm at 24 weeks and a measurement of 23cm is well below the 10th centile line on my chart.
Apparently if you are outside the 10th-90th centile lines you might get referred for a growth scan to check everything is ok.
cavort sorry I cant really help I wouldnt worry too much though, surely you would be told if anything was a concern?
Hazel I know Ive had that conversation with him! We have a 30 year mortgage together and Im pregnant with his child but marraige scares him.....how very logical huh!
Ok so my lack of research is clearly catching me out now, ehhh? What is this new thing to worry about I've never heard if? Do explain so I can panic too
My doc measures mine at every appointment and has said it's fine, but sorry, haven't checked the actual measurements. I'm sure they would have told you at your private or 20-week scan if the baby was too small.
It's in my maternity notes and they're going to start measuring it at the 25 week appointment so I assume it's at least mentioned in yours Purple?
It's basically just the size of your bump. You lie flat with an empty bladder and measure from the top of your pubic bone to the top of your uterus in cm. I can feel the top of my uterus around the level of my belly button at the moment.
According the the oracle that is Wikipedia ( Fundal Height ), it should match the fetus's gestational age in weeks to within 1-3cm and is only valid from 24 weeks.
I feel better now having searched around because mine is bang on gestational age and it just appears the bespoke chart in my notes goes against all the millions of pregnancy webshites which say otherwise.
Who will ever figure out how men's brains actually work Mother?
Morning all, how was the weekend for you?
I think I need some kind of a support belt - I'm fine otherwise, but for fitness classes with a lot of jumping it would be more convenient to have a bit of extra support. Most of them look either scary or have horrible reviews. Anybody wearing one yet?
And what are you doing about coats - I got one second hand for winter, but it's getting too warm for it here. No chance of getting into my normal spring coats, so need a trench or something. Maternity ones are so ridiculously expensive, so not sure - should I just go for a normal one in a
whale bigger size and wear it with belt?
I bought a cheap maternity one that's like a duvet, simply because a) it was in the sale and b) I didn't have a coat that fitted over my boobs within 6 weeks of getting pregnant. It's VERY bulky though so I think I might end up buying a cheap trench from ASOS (lots of cheap-ish maternity stuff, although I only buy when I get a 25% discount code from them or something similar) or H&M. So far, clothes I've tried on simply in a larger size have looked awful - massive in places, too tight in others.... It just seems like such a waste of money!!
Didn't know anything about this whole measurement thing. Something else to worry about soon though hey...
far too much Googling I have concluded that as long as you measure within 3cm either way of your number of weeks then everything is fine, and even if you don't then everything's probably still fine but they might scan you to make sure which might actually be quite nice to see bubs again.
Hazle I am in mourning for my favourite lovely fitted coat, which I have just grown out of. I think I will see how I get on wearing my other coats unfastened with a big scarf. It seems such a waste to buy a bigger or maternity coat for just a few months but this opinion could be subject to change if I end up freezing!
I haven't thought about a support belt yet but this Mothercare one seems to get goodish reviews?
Good weekend thanks, how about you? I caught up with friends who I haven't seen for a while, which was good, and went to my Godson's 3rd birthday party yesterday which was very loud and I fear is a sign of things to come for us all!
Eating Junk Food While Pregnant May Make Your Child a Junk Food Addict
<suddenly feels guilty about Saturday night's Dominoes delivery>
Oh crap. I've eaten loads of rubbish food. Suddenly feel awful...
Bah humbug to that Cavort if it's Dominoes every night then, sure, that's not ideal, but I bet it's not.
I have decided to take these guilt-induction pieces with a pinch of (low sodium) salt. They're aimed at women who think that a balanced diet is having KFC one night, Chinese the next, then MacDonalds, then Pizza Hut (no salad, natch), then a chippy, then an Indian, with chicken nuggets and horse lasagne in the freezer for 'emergencies'.
Most normal people, including pregnants like us, are perfectly capable of indulging the odd takeaway once or twice a week, but will incorporate that into a much healthier diet including lots of fruit and veg and sensible carbs and fat amounts.
This weekend (since Friday), I've had half a pizza, a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel and a portion of scampi and chips as the big bad headline dinners. But I've also had several portions of fruit and veg each day, sensible snacks (--except the couple of packets of sweets that were essential at the time-- ) and slow-release carb options where possible.
I'm fairly happy with that to be honest, even though it may not be perfect.
Plus, the child still needs to be exposed to the junk food on the other side. It's not like they're going to come out refusing to breastfeed unless it's part of a Big Mac now, is it?
Any child brought up with a healthy diet and a healthy appreciation of food and junk food as an occasional treat will not identify the 'high' of junk food or get addicted to it.
When I was a child, we weren't allowed sweets or cakes - only as a special treat at borthdays etc. This was due to the fact that my mum's ex was a dentist and had instilled strong principles in her.
I went through a 'crazy sweet addiction' when I was a teenager and allowed to spend my own money on the way to school etc, but this was moderated by proper food that I chose for myself and was burned off by huge amounts of sport I was doing as well. After a few years, I was back to normal with occasional treat foods. I still love them - especially now, would take a bag of strawberry creme pencils over a chocolate bar anyday - but I have enough cerebral appreciation of the facts to choose not to eat it all the time, no matter how good it makes me feel.
It can be hard, as I have a moderately addictive personality, but I resist it
most of the time.
I rarely eat any junk food, there just isn't much available here. But if it's just fat and sugar content that matters then I'm not so sure my fancy French restaurant dinner on Saturday was any better than Mcdonalds. High quality and very tasty, not to mention expensive, sure, but French do love their butter
And that apple crumble with Creme Brulee probably had enough sugar for a month.
I also believe that one shouldn't make junk food into something forbidden and secret.
We Kids always want what they can't have. for example contrary to Brave, we always had sweets around, no restrictions. I couldn't care less. Fruit (out of season) was very hard to get though, so instead of eating candy, me and my sis would fight over apples, oranges and grapes and share them with a ruler.
So if you want the DC to eat broccoli, just tell them it's a special treat.
Lol at broccoli as a special treat - will remember that one!
Tis true - said dentist suggested giving us carrots as a sweet treat.
And the whole denial thing - unbelievable. I think Ive just realised why diets make people so miserable. I have never dieted as such - in a no-treats/something nice to eat way - until now. Now I know I can't have alcohol and shouldn't be eating as much crap as I all of a sudden really want to (honest to god I practically never ate crisps or chocolate bars but now encounter a few a week), it makes me want it more than ever. I swear a lot of cravings exist entirely in the dopamine centre in the brain - the bit that gets off on being rebellious.
i was worried i'd miss wine but i honestly dont!
i like broccoli but not sure i'd class it as a special treat! <says her whos just eaten a mini toffee crisp>
Listen, I'm already having to cope with all of this without fags, booze or sex (stupid OH, grrr) if they think they're taking my chocolate and crisps away from me they can fuck off <does mental 'woman on the edge' face>
Disclaimer: I am also rather fond of broccoli but have to admit I would not protect it with quite the same wild eyed scary lady way as I would my mini eggs.
I dont have much of an issue with junk food, I dont like pizza or maccy d's
do like a bit of kfc though i'm not too fussed by chocolate unless it is a penguin biscuit, those I love, BUT stand between me and my crisps and you're in trouble my OH calls me a 'crisp fiend'.
Will your OH not dtd purple? Because of the pregnancy? Or just because he's awkward?
I just called my docs an have an appointment on Friday, from there on I shall be in the system....eeek. Its all becoming rather real.
Oh he's got issues Mother, currently I don't understand how psychologically difficult it is to have sex when there's a baby in there, just like I didn't understand before we were ttc why it was psychologically hard in case I got pregnant just like no doubt I won't understand why it's psychologically difficult when there's a child in the house. Sigh, I'm afraid I'm losing patience with it all after nearly 3 years of being told how bloody difficult it is for him to attempt to have sex with me every now and then. Sorry, it's a bit of a sore subject, frankly the prospect of years stretching ahead if me with a partner who doesn't want to have sex with me is pretty depressing.
exciting times mother!
i've my first midwife appt on wed morning so pretty excited for that! they didnt say whether i've to bring a 'sample' - must check as theres no way i'll be able to produce that on the spot lol
Oh purple, these men really are funny creatures. Not surprised it's a sore subject. Things aren't 'normal' on that front for us, think DP just thinks it's all a bit odd, but thankfully things do happen every now and again. If I had no sex as well as NO BOOZE (can you tell I'm struggling with that?!) I think I'd go mad...
Fairy - I had to for mine, I'd just make sure you've had a drink before you go
tries to blot from mind my second appt (should know better) when I literally had to squeeze the drops out, managed to fill under a third of a sample pot
Oh and mother - suddenly does seem real hey. Is good to be in the system, although my doctors appt was, quite frankly, rather underwhelming.
Mother and Fairy it sounds like things are progressing nicely for you both. Fairy I didn't miss wine either for the first 16 weeks
while I was feeling like shit, but it's wearing a bit thin now and I would absolutely love a nice big Shiraz with my dinner.
I agree with all of you who have said a healthy attitude to food doesn't involve any restrictions. I don't deny myself anything and generally eat healthy balanced meals through choice most of the time, but if I want a pizza followed by a Solero then I am bloody well having one! I have to admit though, like Brave, I am slightly disappointed that I am fancying crisps, sweets and chocolate much more now than I ever did before I was pregnant. Oh, and Fanta of course!
Purple doesn't your OH want to do other stuff which doesn't involve penetration? My desire is much lower since getting PG but it's nice to maintain a level of intimacy. I have to admit though our choice of positions is becoming increasingly limited as the weeks go by so I can't imagine it being too long before we give up trying and just do other stuff instead. FWIW (and not that it'll make you feel any better) most men I know seem to dislike the thought of sex with a pregnant woman so I don't think your OH is on his own.
I just seem to have married an oddball who is unaffected by it.
purple im afraid I dont think you're alone, lots of guys I know dont like the idea of sex while bubba is on board. My oh doesnt seem bothered, he's just carried on as normal which tbh is a bit weird.
cavort I love strawberry and lime cider so may miss having a few of those. The worst thing is that im having a 3 course murder mystery meal for my 30th on the 23rd March and everyone will be getting wasted but me.....plus I cant even tell them as I'll only be 7 and a bit weeks Im planning on having the non alcoholic kopaberg pear cider....fx no-one notices
Work gave me some alcohol-free Koppaberg
along with some Baileys which is still torturing me from the cupboard at Christmas and I thought it was quite convincing taste-wise.
Thanks for the support folks, it's not the kind of thing you can talk about in RL! Unfortunately this lack of interest is not just a recent baby related thing. I go through phases of feeling angry then sad about it although this is probably the worst it has been. He will sometimes see to my needs if I've sulked or cried about it but doesn't want anything in return so it's not exactly intimate. He just genuinely doesn't seem all that interested.
Sorry to drag the thread down with my moaning though it's just something I'm really struggling with at the moment.
Aww Purple, and the pregnancy hormones probably aren't helping the way you feel. Yes you can't exactly moan to the woman on the checkout in Tesco about it but us cyber folk are always here for and sympathy
Ahh purple is he ok in himself? Or is he a bit down too? The reason I ask is because I suffered from depression about 18 months ago and I couldnt bear having my OH near me, I didnt like myself so I did know why anyone else would like or want me.
Oh cheers for the feedback cavort hopefully nobody notices the non alcoholic part or I have no cover story
Antibiotics as an excuse If anyone asks Mother? I wouldn't have thought anyone will notice what you're drinking though as long as you've got a glass in your hand.
Very grateful for the tea and sympathy, thanks ladies. You're right too, I think hormones are definitely making the situation worse than normal 'waaaaaa it's because I'm FAT isn't it!'
I'm going to try to be more positive tomorrow, I just hope for his own sake the washing repair man manages to actually fix the machine tomorrow or I might take out all of my anger on him and the poor sod won't know what hit him.
hummm I seem to have a sore throat coming on plus Im tired and grouchy. Oh and I was
tried to be clever/efficient this morning and stripped the bed when I got up, put it in the wash while I went to work, straight in the drier when I got home.....get upstairs and Ive washed everything but the duvet cover which is sat on the floor...grrr. So infact I wasnt efficient at all.
On the plus side noticed today that my boobs are immense lol, that should please the OH.
whoop whoop todays line is as dark as the control line one week since the first test so you were right janey it just needed time.
Yay! That must be a weight of your mind!
Great to hear all is going well mother. Now, don't buy CB Digital tests if you can - you will only be obsessively peeing on them to see if the week numbers are moving up.
As for drinking, unless you will be buying rounds, nobody will notice that you have been holding the same champagne glass the whole evening.
We have some baby-shopping planned for this weekend. Well mostly to touch and try some bigger items like car seats and similar, to then go online and find them cheaper.
Oh am so pleased mother! I had exactly the sane worry - took ages to darken - but got there in the end. Hoorah
Yeah I feel much much better, to be honest as long as the line stays dark I'm happy, I'm too tight to buy the digital tests lol.
Great news Mother! I found I was happy to stop POAS once the line was as dark as the control so I maybe you can relax a bit more now.
I have braved the scales this morning at 23+6 and have put on 12lbs, which is well within the realms of what is considered normal by all the online calculators I can find but it still sounds like such a lot in my head. Especially as bump is still not particularly big and it's nearly a stone. I might have to go metric as 5.5 kilos sounds so much better.
I have ordered The Food of Love after having it recommended by a friend who wanted to BF but was struggling in the early days. She said it really helped her to get BF established. I think I have a naive it looks simple, how hard can it be? attitude to it at the moment but it sounds like it can be quite difficult. Having said that though, when I was my Step Sis's birth partner her baby went straight on the boob perfectly within seconds of birth so I could end up feeling a failure straight after the birth if our little cherub won't play ball straight away
which is probably very likely.
I have also ordered a sling and a baby bath and I am currently looking at bouncers. I really hope we need all this stuff I'm ordering and I am not wasting money. I keep reading threads on MN about what new Mums found most useful with a newborn and I am trying to stick to their advice about what is worth buying and what is a waste of money (top and tail bowls etc.) but there's just so much stuff!
Which bouncer are you thinking about? The BabyBjörn Balance seems to have nice reviews.
I love the look of the Balance and I would much rather look at that in my living room than most of the other ones I've looked at, but DH insists we need one with a battery operated vibrate or even rocking function as he had a vibrating one when DSD was born and he absolutely swears by it being one of the most-used baby items they had so I think we'll end up getting one
ugly monstrosity like this one or something similar. Not sure which one yet.
Or get the Babybjörn, buy a regular vibrator and tape it to the bouncer?
Genius idea! I think I have some bedroom toys that haven't seen the light of day for, oh, around 24 weeks so I could use one of them. I'm sure that wouldn't raise any visitors eyebrows.
well the ones that are sold as "back massage devices" should be fine. I would probably draw a line at something.. um..anatomically correct.
I might just teach one of the cats to sleep under the bouncer and purr - one of ours is a massive Norwegian Forest Cat, he should definitely provide enough vibrations.
Totally inappropriate but i'm chuckling at the thought of a big vibrating willy next to a blissfully sleeping baby.
Afternoon all, just checking in briefly to say 20 week scan done, all looking good as far as they can tell. Measures bang on for dates so back to 'do I have huge baby fears' vis a vis my lack of faith in dates.
Less fun was the internal scan because placenta is close to cervix. Tho OH found this amusing... Til I squeezed his fingers. Very. Hard.
also got some mat work trousers finally, New Look, woohoo!
Will say hi properly tomo, but off work with OH so can't stay long.
Btw don't think I didn't notice the talk of vibrators... ;)
Good news brave
How was the placenta thing resolved ok?
Really, really laughing about a vibrator strapped to a bouncer!
That would be a good housekeeping tip.
-Why get an expensive vibrating seat, when you can just tape your vibrator to a regular bouncer!
- don't want to clean up after your toddler has been eating? Just get a dog, preferably a greedy breed.
(really - when friends were over with their baby, dogs were happily sitting under the table and hoovering up everything dropped. A lot was dropped. Zero mess)
Placenta is 8mm away apparently, and will apparently grow away from cervix, so should be ok.
Is also anterior, so odd that I can feel baby Bear so much, but it's low down so I guess it's not in the way.
Plus today, Baby was head up and bum down... she was very unbothered by this tho, she said baby's moving all over at this stage so no need to worry. Strange that the advice is so different in different areas...
Ours was head up, bum down at the 20 week scan, and think Cavort's bump was too. Basically, nothing to worry about at this stage I assume?
Feel ill with a cold. Do not want to be at work, want to be in bed. Moan, moan, moan. Oh, what I would do for a lemsip!! Still, had some physio for my bad shoulder on the NHS this morning, culminating in a very lovely 15 min massage (including pillows everywhere due to bump). I love the NHS!!
Good news on the scan Brave and yes, I am another member of the head up bum down bladder football club.
It's far too nice and sunny to be at work this afternoon.
Oh that sounds like a nice treat janey, hope that compensates for cold a bit.
The beech thing doesn't worry me, but I'm sure someone said they were scheduled for 34 week scan for being breech at 20...
It might have me that said I think MW checks for breech/transverse at around 35 weeks and will discuss various options so no point worrying about it until then.
Aah that would explain it... Remember thinking that was a bit premature
Laughing at the vibrating bouncer idea, has cheered my day right up, not that I'd do it - I'm not sharing my toys.
Good news on the scan Bear, seems funny that everyone else has been told what way up their baby is, they never mentioned it to me though most of my kicks seem quite low (right in the bladder quite often, I'm sure it aims) so I wonder if mine is feet first at the moment too?
That's exactly where I'm getting kicked too purple, so sounds like it!
Yup, i'd say 90% of all my baby movement is very low down. I feel surprised if I feel something near my belly button!
Mine is kicking me all over the place, that's transverse for you.
Most of the movement I feel is very high up - around belly button, occasionally far off to either side, which fits in with it being at the moment head up and bum down on a diagonal.
Having said that, last night I got belted so hard on the right that it woke me up! I think the anterior low-placenta is why I've not felt anything lower down. Which, I guess means my lucky bladder is getting away with any brutality, and also explains my apparent lack of needing loo breaks every five minutes like most pregnant women!
Am now worried about having a low-lying placenta though. Goddamn google.
I have one too, but doc didn't seem concerned, said it will in most cases move.
Birth and Beyond class this morning covered pain relief options and positions, which, along with the usual TENS, G&A and drugs, included the importance of oxytocin and endorphins and how their natural pain-relieving properties can be wiped out and labour prolonged by too much adrenaline which is produced if you get too stressed. So basically labour is likely to be faster and less painful if you stay calm.
Except now I feel stressed at the pressure to stay calm during labour!
Hormones in Labour & Birth
Ah but I wonder if anyone will dare to TELL you to 'stay calm'? I think if my OH told me to calm down when I was in labour I'd rip his face off and feed him his own ears. Actually, I could happily do that for most things he does these days.
I'm having one of those 'I hate everything and everyone in the whole world apart from possibly my cat' days today (again), it's so bad one of my colleagues went to the shops and came back with a kit kat to try to appease me. S'not working so far.
Yeah well this is the whole problem.
If When I am in pain and therefore irrational, I will think he is being patronising (even though he probably won't be), which will wind me up. I think I will have to write him an instruction manual on how to deal with me in labour as I already know I will be a nightmare.
Kit Kat? A true friend would have got you at least a multipack. I hope your day gets better.
Ah but a manual wont help because you're bound to change your mind about what you wanted and the poor sod will still get it wrong i.e. you will say that you want him to gently stroke your back and offer words of encouragement and when he tries to actually attempt that at the wrong moment, I have it on good authority that you'll scream at him like a banshee to get the fuck away from you and never touch you again because it was him that did this to you
p.s. I'm pretty sure the kit kat was an act of self preservation on her part rather than an act of friendship!
I think it's time to watch "Coupling" again, season 4 episode 4, "Circus of the Epidurals". Have you all seen?
I agree though, knowing that stress makes it worse does not help in any way. Nor will someone helpfully suggesting that we should relax.
As for me, having a serious case of lazyness. Barely done anything at work, planning to sneak out early and don't feel like going to gym either. I can blame hormones, right?
Purple is it bad that I actually feel a teensy bit sorry for your appeasing workmate
Only kidding - hope you feel better soon. I have these periodically. Last night I was having a 'what the hell am I thinking about becoming a mother' session, lying in bed, panicking that I couldn't imagine myself as a good, calm mum in the face of terrible twos, nagging 6 year-olds and arsey teenagers.
Felt very dark and dreary and couldn't sleep as a result. Then I did fall asleep and got such a whack from BB that it woke me up and snapped me out of it. Think I may have been projecting my worries because s/he wasn't very active yesterday after the scan so was very happy to have BB 'back'.
Today it's back to normal, pummeling me in every direction, possibly even a brief hiccup spell - so have decided it was just peed off at being prodded and poked yesterday morning. That or I was.
Sending Appeasing-flavour KitKats...
As for keeping calm in labour. Well. Cos it's not stressful squeezing out something the size of a watermelon from something the size of a small plum, is it. Should be easy!
Yes, Hazle, absolutely blame away
Used to watch Coupling all the time, though don't recall the episode one. Do recall the episode where they meet the Welsh fella the first time, thinking he's a gynaecologist but is actually a film director or something. Tis brilliant
Plus one for needing an instruction manual for OH Cavort - thing is, mine doesn't like being told what to do. Am hoping he'll let this be a one off to make all our lives easier...
In fairness, I really like the way he is with me when I'm in acutely stressful situations like in hospital - he tends to try and make jokes or funny comments about things around us to distract me. Then again, when I landed in hospital for THAT issue in week 9, he seemed stressed and withdrawn, I think because he felt out of control and didn't know for sure if everything was ok. He may also have guilty for not believing how bad it was (tho I think this is more likely my secret wish lol)...
The whole 4th season (which is otherwise unfortunately not as good as the others) is about having a baby. Very appropriate time to watch it again
I think my instruction manual might start something like...
1) Under no circumstances are you to stroke/tickle/caress me in any way unless specifically requested (very unlikely).
2) Any swearing/name calling/direct personal abuse from me is to be completely ignored and not responded to.
3) Do not eat my snacks and drink my drinks.
4) Agree with everything I say.
5) Do not say 'It will all be over soon.'
6) Do not look disappointed in me if I choose to have pethidine and/or epidural.
7) Do not complain about how tired you are feeling.
In fact, I think I could go on forever. It might be safer if DH just watches through one-way glass.
- whatever I might have said earlier that I want/don't want or you should/should not do, even if asked, is no longer valid. I'm asking now so get me the f"&#&ing epidural!!!
Awesome Cavort and Hazle <copies and pastes into word document>
I'd also add: At no point are you allowed to complain about me hurting your fingers/ears/feet/nether regions (and simper at anyone who calls for attention)
And, one for after the birth, What happens in the delivery room, stays in the delivery room - unless I give you explicit permission to tell all.
Allayed to that, 'You will not refer to vaginal examinations as being 'fingered' (actually the phrase he uses is so so much worse that I can't even type it), and will not make reference to people putting their hands/faces/equipment in places they wouldn't normally go. It will not be funny.'
I missed this fred! Marking my place.
Hey, nice to see you Zombies, how are you getting on?
ok, I have a kind of throbbing pain,
well not pain as it doesnt hurt but its an odd feeling, so far ive not had any cramping at all so this is totally new, should I be worried?
I think all sorts of weird cramps and twinges and feelings are fairly standard as everything stretches and moves, I had horrendous cramps in the early weeks that had me doubled over in pain sometimes but it's all apparently very common.
Also had lots of weird pains early doors, some of which made me jump they were so sharp. Am sure all is fine - fingers crossed for you and try not to worry
cheers ladies, its passed now, phew. Was just a weird feeling.
Mother and Fairy I had all kinds of bizarre aches and pains in the early days.
I apparently have taken the radical step of getting a 'mumsy' haircut. Except I didn't realise it was a mum cut until people told me afterwards. Admittedly I have gone from having very long hair to an above shoulder bob but I just thought I fancied a change which I thought was unrelated to having a baby. What next? Will I start liking clothes in Laura Ashley? Will I want to buy a people carrier? Will I start to see the appeal in holidays at Center Parcs? Is this the beginning of the end of my life?
Ok, slight overreaction to what is only a bloody haircut!
I thought that Boden was UK mum uniform?
Do you have one of those yet?
We haven't got a Boden round here but I do see it mentioned lots on MN fashion threads so maybe it is. <makes mental note never to shop at Boden>
I was thinking I could get one of those instead of a changing bag actually.
And I just can't wait to spit on a tissue and then use it to wipe DD's face
never in a million years.
Don't forget taking half-chewed food DD is offering you. And actually eating it.
(according to friend who has an 8-month old, yes this will happen)
Oh dear, this is going to be a steep learning curve. The thought of that makes me feel sick at the moment!
Haha my mom use to wipe my face with a hanky like that! Gross!
I think the transition to a mumsy person is when you see giant knickers on the line instead of a thong my moms are HUGE! Lol
Hi cavort, not too bad! In that limbo between 12 week scan and 20 week scan (in early April), so desperate for any sign of life from within!
I've already ditched my thongs - too uncomfortable with my growing belly - is there no way back for me?! I thought I'd get back into them after the baby, but who knows, maybe the knickers will just keep getting bigger...
Cavort - maybe it's time to copy your hairstyle, it does sound lovely!
i did see a pair in tescos yesterday that literally would have come up and over my boobs! but i shouldnt laugh as i might be wearing those some day!
Yes same here, big pants only, TMI but everything too sensitive and thongs just uncomfortable now. Hope I can go back to them but as janey said, we'll see..
Anything you ladies can recommend against heartburn? Never had any issues, but the last couple of days have been quite uncomfortable.
I don't know hazle, never had it - although (sounds stupid) but wonder if that's what I had on Monday night. It felt kind of like acid rising up my throat and wasn't nice - oddly went away when I ate some food? So if that is heartburn any tips gratefully received!
Yes that's the one Janey. There's tons of medicine available but I don't want to read all the leaflets about what's allowed in pregnancy.
gaviscon is fine in pregnancy. my sister used to get pounds of raspberry ruffles and then swig straight out of the bottle! milk also does help a bit.
i've had gastric reflux all my life so i know how rotten it is! try and make sure you dont eat fatty foods too
Gaviscon is your friend! - Even says on bottle it's safe in pregnancy. I used Rennies in the first trimester but they only worked to a point. Nearly vommed on first try of Gaviscon but the relief was so good I forgave it and now have some pretty much every night before bed.
I call it heartburn but don't think it really is, it's like acid sitting in my foodpipe making me feel sicker and sicker. That's my sign to act (found out the hard way that post-food acid-related vomit is way nastier than empty stomach hungry vomit).
I need a mum bag but am resisting with all my might as I know it'll just get filled with crap and it'll be too heavy within a week.
And I have also ditched thongs. a) they don't fit and b) youch - very uncomfy with all the extra moisture (apologies for tmi). Treated myself to some size 12 shorts and they just about avoid vpl and are comfy, though I wish they were a little looser than the huge size suggests they should be!
I want to wear some nice matching undies, but no fancy bras fit and couldn't bear the thought of scraping myself into thongs so OH will have to make do with the Emperors alternative... (accessorised by fluffy dressing gown... mmm sexy)
for considering size 12 huge.
Gaviscon, you say? Looks like it's available here, will have to drop by a pharmacy later. Luckily haven't been actually sick, just this annoying burning feeling.
I bought some gaviscon tablets, had one and it tasted so disgusting I've just put up with the heartburn ever since! I do find that something minty like sucking a polo helps ease it a little.
I need to buy bigger pants as well, I bought some in a size 12 which is bigger than I normally buy and although they looked big on the hanger, they are alarmingly still rather snug. I've gone from being just a neat bump and the rest of me pretty much the same size to having really quite fat hips over the last couple of weeks. I refuse to buy proper big granny knickers though (we call them 'three peggers' in our house) so will buy some hipsters or shorts in a 14 and hope they're a bit more spacious
I think i've started retaining water as well, my socks are leaving nasty indents in my legs this week, I'm hoping this doesn't mean I'm going to bloat up into some huge all over pregnant elephant lady. I've got images of me waddling along like some huge bloated balloon with a little head on the top...Oh no! I'm going to look like Violet Beauregarde!
Violet Beauregarde link for those of you who haven't a clue what I'm talking about.
Purple, try support knee-highs instead of socks, or those so-called flight socks. I'm only wearing those now and they really help.
I think I really want one of those baby hammock:
What do you think, know anybody who has one?
Lol I don't consider size 12 huge per se, just that there's so much material compared to usual size 10 thongs lol
Not tried gaviscon tbalets - honestly, the liquid stuff is great. You can get aniseed or mint I think. I hated taste to begin with but now quite like it
Those baby hammocks look cute - what's the benefit? And how much wonga?
Hazle my nephew had one of those and loved it. He barely ever slept (for years ) and refused to lie in a Moses basket, cot, baby bouncer etc. however, this worked!! He napped in it until he was big enough to stick his feet over the edge, and then his sister used it after him too. In short I think it was brilliant. I might get one too.
The gaviscon liquid is def more palatable than the tablets and it really does help. There's a few flavours too.
I wear knee high socks every day - not support ones but the might help! I get them from mysocks.com
I find Gaviscon really helps my acid reflux.
I must clarify.
The sight of it on the shelf in my bedroom makes me forget about my stomachache and burping and just go to sleep.
I've probably had it twice in all these months and that was deterrent enough- I'll take the acidity, thanks
I've read a lot of positive reviews of baby hammocks - babies apparently like the rocking and swinging and due to different sleeping position, it's supposed to help with colic and reflux. I quite like the idea, and that it's portable as well.
I might have mum hair but I am still in my normal thongs. Hurrah! <smug>
Gaviscon is available on prescription in the UK. My Sis is currently getting through a 1l bottle weekly Ask your MW for a prescription apparently.
1Litre a week!!!
Though I will ask doc for a script next time I have an appt - Gaviscon ain't the cheapest but is great stuff.
at thong-wearing freedom.
Yeah, I know Brave. She says she struggles to go a few hours without getting her Gaviscon 'fix.' A girl from work who had a baby a few weeks ago took a different approach to third trimester heatburn and just ate a Magnum every time she had it, which she said worked fine
I will be trying this out before the Gaviscon.
The thong-wearing doesn't feel like freedom when I am going through about 5 pantyliners (hate that word, 'panty' - almost as bad as babydust) a day and still have a pretty much constant feeling of having wet myself (which I haven't). I don't think big pants would change that though. Pregnancy is just a barrel of laughs sometimes.
Lol I hate the word panty too
Funny isn't it because I keep hearing everyone saying about the umm 'moistness' but I'm the complete opposite, ever since I've been pregnant I've been unusually dry in the whole. Just shows how different everyone is (I cannot believe I'm discussing this with anyone!)
Hahahaha epic auto correct fail, I meant ON the whole, in the whole sounds suitably rude though!
I'm with you purple! Same as before - possibly less. Glad it's not just me!
I hate the word panty too. DH insists on using it just to irritate me!
On which topic, bless him, DH went to the shops to get panty liners for me. It wasn't like the shops were out of them. But he came back with maternity pads and a pack of extra thick extra long night pads!! Bless him. He pleaded confusion at the shops and picking up the first two packs of whatever looked likely
Laughing A LOT at that autocorrect! Hilarious!
At yesterday's class the MW mentioned Hypnobirthing and how, from what she'd seen, the women who'd given birth after taking Hypnobirthing classes had a very positive experience of labour and birth.
Now, I am very skeptical of all wacko cuckoo hippy shit - it really is not me.... but out of curiousity
and a morbid fear of pain I just had a look at some threads on here and did some Googlng and 99% of the women who'd done it rave about how good it is, to the point that they say their MW didn't even realise they were fully dilated because they appeared to be so calm and in so little pain.
It's £200 for 4 x 2.5 hour classes, a book and a CD. Do you think it's worth doing or completely cuckoo?
Ah Zombies I remember it well. The one occasion I had to ask DH to buy tampons I told him about 10 times to buy regular and he still came back with something you could use to plug the hoover dam. At least the towels he bough will come in useful after baby
I wonder if it is what you actually learn on the course that makes you cope better or just the sense that you've done something and 'know what yo do' so feel more in control? It's a moot point for me because I can't afford it! I figure though that hippy shit or not, if it makes you feel at all better prepared and therefore more calm it might well be worth it.
Yeah that's the dilemma. Do I really need it can I adopt the right attitude without it? And £200 is a lot to waste if I end up with CS for breech
Or on the other hand, £200 is NOT a lot to spend if it helps you calmly sneeze out a baby using only a whiff of gas and air
Ah, didn't even spot that typo, really making me laugh!
Made DH watch OBEM. I think he's now sitting in another room, breathing into a paper bag and shouting that he will not cut the cord, thanks very much!
Yes Purple that's also what I'm thinking.
I've emailed the woman who does it in my area to ask about availability so hopefully she'll reply saying she's full and it will take the decision out of my hands! I am trying to be sensible but I daren't add up how much the baby stuff has cost so far and this could be another £200 on top.
Our house is too small and we're trying to save as much as possible towards a decent deposit to move house next year. We're not going to save as much on the 9 months of wanky SMP I'm about to get so I am trying really hard at the moment not to waste money.
But I am quite scared at the thought of the birth. I hate dilemmas!
Hazle if he expects it to be horrific then yours can only be better than he expects?
yes that was the idea. At least he won't expect it to be like in movies, where you just sneeze and baby pops out.
You're very brave Hazle, I can't bring myself to watch anything like that incase I freak myself out! My OH has already got a13 year old so I think he probably knows what he's doing more than I do with the whole birth thing.
Ah I made mine watch OBEM.
Poor thing, he actually earnestly ended up asking me after a few episodes if I wanted to go through with this!
said she when the going was good
It's probably a bit late to be asking you that now, after he's already put a baby in there!
Mine refuses to watch OBEM. He says he'd rather have rusty needles poked into his eyes, which coincidentally is what I am planning to do to him if labour gets too bad.
Lol at rusty needles! Mine won't watch it with me, so I have to watch it in secret when he's not here like some kind of binge eater or something lol... Tho he did come home part way through an episode one day and watched the end with me. I even took his comment of 'you're just looking at women's bits' as encouraging. Dysphemism has always been one of his strong points, sigh...
Would love to try hypnobirthing but it depends on your partner committing to it as well, doesn't it? A very good friend of mine's hubby is a pro hypnotherapist who can do hypnobirthing, prob at mates rates, but it falls under 'hippy role playing breathing shit' which is categorically not allowed by my dearly beloved, yet occasionally caveman OH.
I have to say that OBEM does not look so bad. I understand it's edited and all, but I just watch and go "Yeah, I can do that!". So quite reassuring actually.
Have also been hearing a lot of raving about hypnobirthing, but like you all, I'm not into the hippy-earth mother-whale song stuff and might just laugh when they start telling me to find my inner goddess...or whatever they do in such classes. Don't think there are even any English courses around here. There are home study courses available though I see, and tons of books, so might give it a go anyway, just in case it's helpful.
yeah Hazle think I might have a look at some books and see what it says. I'm also hoping to find a really specific book about labour and childbirth, one that describes what is happening and why at each stage.
I figure that if I know why it feels like I'm being ripped in two, I might be less scared IYSWIM.
Having never really seen proper childbirth until OBEM, I am very grateful for it existing, although I think that sometimes the ratios of interventions are possibly a lot higher than in real life - having said that, it spells out, categorically, that mothers often need assistance - before watching I would have thought it was much more unusual than that. It's good to know in advance.
At the risk of sounding controversial, someone on FB said OBEM is morphing into The Undateables with the number of quite freaky people having babies this series and I have to say I was quietly thinking the same myself. Someone on the radio said C4 pay 10k per couple in exchange for allowing them to film everything, which would kind of explain it - there's not enough money in the world which would make me consent to mine being filmed! But I'm sure the mechanics of what happens is the same for all of us so I still can't stop watching it.
I mentioned Hypnobirthing to DH last night and he pulled the same face he pulled when I said I had ordered a baby sling - he obviously thinks it's a complete load of tosh.... but he's not stupid enough to actually say that knowing it's me that has to go through all the pain, so if I decide I want to do it I suspect he will just keep his mouth shut and go along with it for an easy life.
wow really 10K? Not that I would. I don't think they've considered it in France, but similar show was banned in Germany due to concern over baby's privacy. True, I would not want to have my birth and naked mum available on national television.
I've ordered that Amby baby hammock. Also have a moses basket and thinking about this: www.babybay.de/en/babybay/variationen.html
So the baby would have plenty of options. He should sleep nicely through the night in one of them, right? Right??
I have no idea how true the 10k thing is. I think my offer would have to go over a million before I would consider it.
That looks like a handy bit of versatile kit Hazle. And the hammock looks so comfy I could fancy a nap in it myself. I might get Hypnobirthing past him but the slightest hint at co-sleeping has been completely vetoed for me
By vetoing co-sleeping, does he mean that baby should immediately sleep in her own room? I wouldn't share a bed either, would be too scared to move, but there's not much difference between having the co-sleeper bed or just a normal crib, I think. except that with the co-sleeper, you don't need to actually get up to check on the baby.
Why are they all such cavemen?! Feel your pain Cavort - dyu think it's because he's already had one and thinks he knows it all?
I think that is behind a lot of my 'issues' with getting mine on board with my preferences. It seems he prefers medical authority over my instinct, which could be a serious concern if we get to any pinchpoints on the day - I'd want him backing me up, not taking the side of the professionals. I'm not saying I want to be reckless, but I don't want him thinking that anything can be done no matter what I think IYSWIM...
He says DSD was about 8 weeks when she went to her own room against SIDS advice. I have already told him our baby will be in our room until at least 6 months.
I think our friends have kiboshed any chances of him thinking co-sleeping is a good idea. Their newborn wouldn't sleep so they put her in bed with them (where she slept really well) but she's nearly 2 now and still refuses to sleep anywhere other than in her parents' bed.
DH thinks we should have a 'start as you mean to go on' attitude. I'm not too worried about it to be honest - i'll see how it goes with the moses basket and then if I decide co-sleeping is the way to go then i'll just do it whether he likes it or not. It just means I can't buy a co-sleeper in advance as he will think I am planning to do it, and I have to at least let him think he's got some say in our baby's welfare
even though I will overrule anything I don't like.
I think you said DSD was also a really good sleeper? I bet that if your DD is not and he has to be the one getting out of bed 10 times per night to walk over to the crib and comfort her, he'll suddenly discover that co-sleeping is a brilliant idea
Yes that's what I'm hoping. I know he will quickly change his opinion if we have a
nightmare non-sleeping baby.
DSD was formula fed from birth as she rejected the breast so I think that's why she slept so well. This will probably be the opposite of our (hopefully) breast fed baby.
DH does appreciate he was very lucky with how well DSD slept (and still sleeps - I 'inherited' her aged 2 and she has never once woken up in the night while staying with us). I just think his ideals are based on never experiencing sleep deprivation - neither of us have but I am definitely being more realistic about it.
It's a toughie Cavort - I really think that my OH is living in some weird fantasy land. Ours are coming from very similar angles so will be good to see how they adapt when reality hits home. I understand his point about being kept up all night when he has to go to work - and he has a long commute so I don't want to make things hard on that front - but I will not be risking our baby's life for it...
Do you have a spare room Brave, so OH could go and sleep there if the baby is extra fussy some nights? That's our plan, that baby will be in bedroom, but we can take turns and one can sleep in the guest room if needed.
D'oh!!! We are having the fascias replaced on the house today. 2 blokes have been here banging and hammering since 8 and I have been keeping them in brews all day. Their
very attractive boss just stopped by to see how they are getting on so I popped out to see if all 3 would like a drink and as an excuse to admire fit boss even though I myself look like a whale. I am wearing normal trousers with a belt extender and bump band and it was only when I got back inside I realised my bump band had risen up to expose my open fly and most probably my knickers to all 3 of them. Bollocks.
Oh the joys of pregnancy
Well, you could have also realised you'd peed yourself, apparently not a rare thing..
I would like to be able to say it hasn't happened to me yet but I did 'leak' a few times while chucking up with MS. Nothing since though. <touches wood> Perhaps something to look forward to in the third trimester?
Oh I really hope my OH doesn't get all high and mighty with me about what we're doing with the baby just because he's had one before because
1. that was a bloody long time ago (his son is 13)
2. babies are all different anyway
3. he should know that my word is law and I'm not going to do what he says just because he says so anyway
4. everyone knows that Mum knows best
Hi son did fall off the bed when he was a baby apparently but I'm assuming his surliness is due to being a teenager not a direct result of a bump on the head so I don't think it did him any harm. I'm planning on having some sort of moses basket or something (or something, can you see how well I've planned this?) in our room but will probably bring the baby into our bed to feed. I think I'm just going to see how it goes when the baby is here see what works for us at the time because for all the planning in the world we might all change our minds when they're here anyway!
I am so so tired today! Dunno if its just because its friday? I did have to go to London yesterday which was knackering but I could seriously sleep right here at my desk! Surely it is too early for this? I'm only 5+2
Everyone is obviously different Mother but in my case I was absolutely knackered straight away, even before MS kicked in.
p.s loving purples 'my word is law' comment
Hey Mother first tri tiredness is the worst. I'm still knackered now, just not quite as much.
Hazle there's baby's room and a spare one. I'm thinking of keeping the single bed in the nursery for such occasions as the other bedroom's miles away from the rest. I've decided we need a double bed for the actual spare room (when we decorate) so hopefully might be able to have it in time to keep DSS current bed as emergency sleep bed (and put moses basket next to).
So hacked off right now. I'm sat here at my desk, an hour after finishing time, crying. Pathetic. Just way way too much at work and colleagues aren't in a position to take the slack (one works part-time, the other has major family stuff going on so has been out of the office two days this week with that and isn't necessarily at full steam when in the office) - although they seem very capable at patronising me.
Now I'm going to be in trouble for being late home, too. But when I get there I'll have to put a brave face on because DSS here tonight for first time in weeks.
Feeling very pathetic and sorry for myself Scuse my whingeing.
Have a nice weekend!
Oh yes, life is far to short to argue with me, I'm going to get my own way in the end anyway
I think absolute knackeredness is expected in the first few weeks, just a nuisance because most people don't know WHY you're falling asleep at your desk. Or maybe there's something in the air today, I usually go swimming on Friday after work and tonight I drove past the pool and thought 'Noooo not today, I just can't I'm too tired!' So I'm sitting on the sofa feeling guilty instead.
Aww Bear sorry you're having a crappy day, hope the weekend makes up for it.
Poor Brave! Whinge away, although we can't do much. The extra workload is temporary I hope?
Aw Brave, sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Whinge away at your leisure here!
But at least the weekend is here. Go home, put thee feet up and have a nice cold <--- soft drink and lots of chocolate
Yep, chocolate is the answer, I can advise that a cadburys creme egg has improved my mood no end (oops now sitting on the sofa not swimming AND eating chocolate, there's no hope for me)
chocolate is the answer to lots of things my car drove itself to kfc on the way home from work and forced me to order and eat 3 hot wings.....yum yum yum.
I had my docs appointment and feel totally underwhelmed, she told me I didnt need to take the prenatal vits I could just take the folic acid she prescribed, she said I can eat pate which Im not sure is correct. She is going to refer me to the midwives and they will write to me......how boring and drawn out!
Thank you all, had a proper poor me walk home, and feel a bit better since being handed at mothers day card and box of maltesers from dss.
Love mother's kfc setting on the car, I need one of those!
Hoping extra work is temporary, but not sure yet... Anyways thank god it's the weekend
ok so how much exactly do boobs grow when pregnant? Im usually a 34d but these puppies are growing loads and quickly, I must easily be a 34dd/e by now and Im 5 weeks......a little concerned Im going to end up jordan-esk plus they seriously hurt too!
oh and brave glad you're feeling better oh and the kfc setting on the car is awesome
Lol mother at the KFC setting!
I'm hungrier than normal and drinking decaf tea like its going out of fashion! Never drank tea in my life...
Mother, I have gone from 32F to 34G, luckily they seem to have stopped growing for now and no longer hurt. I don't want to think about breastfeeding size though - I'm in France and breastfeeding bras are available in 34-38 A-C..
hummm think im going to have a similar growth spirt hazle they are going to give me away before anything else does!
Re breastfeeding bras, not entirely sure how they work.....but could you adapt one of your bras? Maybe chop through the straps on the front and put some hooks and eyes on instead? A kind of blue peter job?
UK internet shops will have to do, that's where I get all my bras.
Mine feel a bit fuller than normal and I had sore nipples until about 16 weeks, but I'm still mostly in my normal bras, with the exception of one I bought in the next cup size which I think was just me being optimistic. I've always had smallish B cup boobs and was looking forward to having bigger ones for a while. Why do you always get the opposite of what you want?
sorry hazle I was being particularly slow, that makes much more sense.
cavort I know its mad huh, mine have always been rather large and the thought of them getting even bigger is starting to freak me out.
I haven't got much bigger boobs, just fat hips it doesn't seem fair. I'm still wearing the same bra although it is a bit snug now so I probably should get a bigger one but it's not like they've grown massively.
I'm sure they'll stop soon Mother. I'm very of your BFP instant bigger boobage.
One thing I don't understand is how do you know what size to get nursing bras in? Or don't you bother getting any until after your milk comes in? They seem to be on everyone's list of things to pack in your hospital bag for the birth but they're quite expensive to just guess what you'll need and get the size wrong
if it helps the bigger boobs are accompanied by a huge bloated paunch
gut and fairly sizable love handles
Ah yes I do remember I had the big bloat straight away as well. At least you know it's happening for a reason rather than the result of eating too many pies. How many weeks are you now? No sign of the dreaded nausea yet?
I was 5 weeks wednesday
Nope no sicky feeling yet
thank god I thought it had started Thursday but it was just because I spent the day in the car with my boss going to meetings, hes driving is enough to make anyone sick! We regularly go way over 100mph on the m25 which is rather vomit inducing. I am hoping I dont get MS but knowing my luck I will.
The bloat sucks! I look like a right beefer how can something the size of a grain of rice turn me into a tubby bastard? Not fair. How do I get away with having a 30th bday where Im not drinking
non alcoholic cider at the ready I have HUGE tits and a big bloated belly not exactly incognito.
Hormones have a heck of a lot to answer for in pregnancy! The differences in your body are screamingly obvious to you but nobody else will notice unless they knew you were TTC and are actively looking for telltale signs. Disguising tee-totalism is more difficult but as long as you always have a drink in your hand people won't notice that you aren't actually drinking it. And would it really be the end of the world if some close friends rumbled you?
You might be one of the lucky ones who doesn't get MS, but even if you do there's no need to presume the worst. I got it from around 6.5 weeks and found it was quite manageable. Inconvenient yes, but not the worst thing that's ever happened to me and I was only actually sick about once a week despite feeling sick most days at some point.
Right i'm off to bed. DH is snoring on the sofa next to me - I thought it was supposed to be preggers me nodding off on the sofa
Anyone still feeling sick most days and throwing up from time to time in the second trimester?
I've been cheated of my bouncy hair and glowing skin and they left me with sodding vom
Mine did get gradually better after about 14 weeks Zombies, but the last time I barfed through MS was 17 weeks so I was well into the second tri.
And I am still waiting for the good hair and skin, mine is no different
'glowing' is a myth which people say to make you feel better about getting fat.
Yes glowing is definitely a myth, my skin has broken out in loads of little red spider veins on my face and neck so I've got red 'spots' all over me. Dr Google says they 'usually' fade away once you've given birth
Purple I see your spider veins and I raise you a skin tag in the armpit which makes shaving impossible
Don't hate me now but my skin is actually excellent right now, I would describe it as glowing. And mother, I didn't have MS either, so you might be lucky and skip it as well. Hair on my head has improved and body hair has almost disappeared, which I'm not complaining about, except that eyelashes are behaving like body hair and refusing to grow.
Hm, there might be some truth in the old wives tale, that having a boy improves the looks, whereas girls are supposed to "steal the beauty"..
Went to some baby shops here but didn't find anything interesting, odd own brand car seats and strollers, even if the same shops sell known brands online. Odd.
An interesting blog post www.babylovesporridge.co.uk/smelling-like-roses/
Sigh, one of the dogs had stomach troubles or something again. Whining the whole night. Finally I moved to sofa to keep her company, that seemed to help, but haven't slept much. Thanks for the practice session!
As for pregnancy peculiarities, are you also hot all the time? I barely need any clothes. Quite fine at the moment, but May and June can be very hot here, not looking forward to that.
Thanks for the links Zombies. I am definitely considering a Sleep Sheep
or anything else which has the vaguest whiff of helping to get the little darling off to sleep.
Oh dear Hazle, I bet you're not having the greatest Sunday on not much sleep. I haven't been too bad temperature-wise, although I think that fact that's it's bloody freezing outside is helping. I'm not looking forward to being heavily pregnant in June though. My 'thing' seems to be thirst rather than temperature - I daren't risk going anywhere without a
Fanta water bottle because a sudden thirst just comes on out of nowhere. I have my 25 week appointment with my MW tomorrow so I will be mentioning it to her just to rule out GD, although I haven't got any other GD symptoms.
I drink like a horse as well, so probably normal.
It's 15 degrees here and I'm already sweating - usually thrive in hot weather, but this June might be quite miserable.
Ordered our pram - Bugaboo Cameleon in Sahara
Wow the chameleon is nice!!
I would sadly never have the boot space for that what with the dog.
Zombies mine is a company car and I barely have a boot big enough for a pram let alone the dog! The penny has finally dropped with DH that he is going to have to swap his car for one with a boot big enough to house a pram and a dog - he is refusing to do this until June though so he can get a few more months of 'pleasure' out of his car (sounds quite wrong!) but at least he has conceded it needs to happen.
Every time I think I have decided which pram to get I end up changing my mind
I have 2 big dogs (pic on profile) so when we want to go out with the whole family, pram will have to go on back seat as well - even though I have a big car. But that would apply to any pram.
Now looking at car seats (probably Cybex Aton 2). I definitely want the isofix base, fiddling with seat belts is a pain. Question is though, should we buy 2 of them, one for each car, or would it make more sense just to swap cars depending on who has the kid? Then again, it might happen that one has kid, the other one dogs and the second car (swapping DHs as well, so not sure what the second will be) probably won't be as big to fit both dogs comfortably. Hmm..
We discussed this yesterday and decided to get 2 bases because we quite frankly can't be bothered with the faff of swapping the one base from car to car. Anything for an easy life!
I worry about the safety of having the pram on the back seat rather than in the boot. While looking at car seats I am obviously looking at ones with good crash safety ratings but what's the point in that if baby (and/or us) is likely to get hit by a flying pram in the event of an accident?
Hm good point. There's no way I can squeeze both dogs and a pram, any pram, in the boot though. Have to think about a roof box I guess.
Have devoted considerable thought to this issue since would hate to sell my car! How about some sort of fattening mechanism. Ie if you can fold the pram so it sits on the floor behind the front seat and maybe something like Velcro straps to fasten? And if you have no boot space left over then worth thinking about one of those boxes on top of the car?
Alternatively figuring out some sort of strapping mechanism and a pram like the baby jogger ones which go pretty much flat and wheels go off, so pram can be strapped in in the boot.
Good grief autocorrect! FASTENING mechanism, not fattening mechanism!!
Alternatively figuring out some sort of strapping mechanism and a pram like the baby jogger ones which go pretty much flat and wheels go off, so pram can be strapped in in the boot.
The Bugaboo goes pretty much flat as well
Will have to see it in real life, might be an option to strap it to the back of the seat somehow.
We have one of these back boxes for our campervan, which sits on a base on a tow bar and can be put on in a few minutes. I might have to ask about getting a tow bar fitted on my car so I can use it for dog + pram if DH's car isn't around.
Zombies I think a fattening mechanism is what I have at the moment
We're going to have to get a roof box for the CRV as there will be some days when we have two big dogs in the boot, baby seat in the middle, two big teenage boys either side, two grown ups in the front...if we don't get a roof box the pram will have to wheel along behind the car attached by a bit of rope
I'm currently having the opposite problem to Hazle, I'm permanently cold and nobody seems to make warm maternity clothes! I've always been a cold person and I guess it will change as I get bigger but i'd give anything for a proper thick warm hoody or jumper that fits me at the moment! No doubt in a few weeks I'll be moaning about being hot though.
I'm also officially a big fat fatty now, I had to take my engagement ring off last night as my fingers have swollen and I was worried that if I didn't take it off soon it would get stuck. My belly button is looking alarmingly shallow and wide and Un-wrinkly as well so I think it's only a matter of weeks before it pops out. Weirdly out of the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing, this is the one bit I'm really freaked out by the idea of, I know it's weird but the idea of developing an outie belly button makes me feel all shudders and odd. Which is stupid as there are MUCH more gross things to look forward to than that.
It is starting to sound like we have to buy a truck just because of one small baby!
Purple don't your OH's hoodies and jumpers fit? Even if they look a bit daft they'll be fine around the house. Raid his wardrobe and warm yourself up!
I'm taking my rings off every night now as i'm paranoid I'll wake up one day unable to get them off!
I have just ordered this sexy little number for labour and birth. I bet DH won't be able to keep his hands off me in that
He's a warm person he doesn't really wear jumpers, he sits in shorts and t-shirt saying 'when is this pregnancy warm thing going to kick in? It's bloody roasting in here' while I huddle under a blanket with as many layers on as I can fit in and the cat clutched to me like a hot water bottle!
With the rings, mine was honestly fine until a couple of days ago and was suddenly leaving dents in my fingers so as long ad you keep an eye on it I'm sure it will be fine. I've just filled up with water, I'm worried my chin will disappear next!
Apropos of nothing these muslin squares are such pretty colours! www.toysrus.co.uk/Babies-R-Us/Clothing/Bibs-and-Cloths/Coloured-Muslin-Squares-8-Pack(0032213)?searchPosition=3
hazle that's an impressive degree of flatness!!
Is it bad that until Cavort posted that link that it had not even occurred to me that I might need some nightwear in hospital?
My normal attire is nothing in the summer and one of OH's old long sleeved t-shirts on the winter to keep my shoulders warm...only my bare arse hangs out the bottom of them so might get a few funny looks if I don't go shopping! Threw all my nightwear out when I moved out with him because he's like a radiator.
Zombies those muslins are lovely and also quite reasonably priced compared to what I have seen elsewhere.
Purple I don't usually wear anything to bed either. I'm going to have to buy some PJ's as well in case I have to stay in a few days
and some massive granny knickers needed to contain the mattress-like maternity towels. Primark here I come!
Baby was going mad while I was just in the bath. When I lay really still the kicking was causing little ripples on the water. How cute!
I'll be in my Bravissimo PJ tops - saw someone giving birth in one of them on OBEM, so should be fine. They have inner support and considering the boob growth so far, I will certainly need it.
Yes we have opposite problems indeed Purple - I'm usually freezing all the time, but now have to sleep without covers and window open, if I can. And DH is wrapped up like a Swiss roll.
Would any of you lovely ladies like to have a look at my latest side profile photo and agree with me at how piss-takingly small it is for 24+4. I am sick of just looking fat.
Aww I wish I could have a bath our house has only got a shower, I'd love a good soak!
You still look very slender to me, I am trying very hard not to be envious
and failing I'm about a week behind you and about twice the size. I wish I had a neat little baby bulge, I've had to take scissors to a pair of my maternity jeans because they were too tight
Maybe we could swap! You could cart around this huge bump I've got and I could have a lovely little bump!
you look so slim
I'm just a few days ahead and easily twice the size! Not fair..
But it's not a lovely little bump - I would be quite happy with that. It's the fact that it just looks like a fat belly rather than an obvious baby bump. [never satisfied emoticon]
In fact maybe it is just a fat belly because I've put on 12 bloody pounds! The skinny maternity jeans from New Look which I was complaining were baggy are now rather tight and I can't see them fitting much longer.
I would be gutted not to have a bath. It's been bad enough having to have cooler baths while pregnant, I can't wait to have a boiling hot soak!
Cavort, I'm quite glad I'm on my phone and can't look at your photo as I think I'd be sick with envy. I am huge, and only 22+5. Or at least Ali feel it - lots of people at work keep saying I'm tiny for my weeks, but I think it's just because I'm wearing big tops
and they can't see the monstrous belly beneath
Decorated the nursery this weekend. Now we just need to start buying stuff to fill it!!
I'm seeing MW tomorrow and hopefully she'll measure me to check I'm not measuring small (my own DIY fundal height measuring suggest it's ok), but I just don't understand why it doesn't stick out more? Everyone keeps saying I should enjoy the special treatment you get when you've got a bump but I am yet to experience any! The only upside is quite a lot of my clothes still fit.
Getting the nursery decorated was like opening the floodgates for me. I hadn't bought anything beforehand but I'm certainly making up for it now - my credit card is on fire
Nice to see an old favourite on another thread
Oooh I am full of envy today, I'm envious of Cavort's slim body, people with baths and people with nurseries they can decorate and buy stuff to fill their nurseries with I have none of theses things and it's not fair!
Agreed cavort, nice indeed.
Don't be jealous purple - I now have a spare double mattress standing upright in my bath, as a result of decorating the nursery, and it will remain like that until either the lodger moves out, or the loft extension is finished. So no baths for me until late may really!
How's the loft conversion going Janey?
Not started yet purple. They promise it will be done by the end of May which will leave us with a lot of decorating, carpeting and tiling in the five weeks before my due date. Cutting it fine! Still, at least I'll be so big I will only be capable of issuing instructions from the sofa, rather than actually helping with it all!
By the way, the glow I mentioned - that's just sweat, I think. Even sitting and eating breakfast makes me sweat now. I'll be one of those stereotypical pregnant women, sweating, leaking and panting while slowly waddling around like a big Heffalump. Lovely.
Cavort report back after your MW appointment!
Oh cavort I couldn't help myself: had a look and you're so slim I'm totally green with envy. Am sure everything is fine btw (my DSIL was the same and was barely showing at six months - she's just really skinny) and they always thought she was measuring everso slightly on the small side... Then my nephew was 9lb. Somehow she just hid it well! But good luck today.
Cavort you look fab! And don't take the joy of still fitting normal tops lightly - I'm totally stuck now as only have a handful of loose tops as bump just looks like a podge under most clothes.
Out of interest, is your placenta round the back? Apparently this can affect bump size and shape... mine is now a bit more rounded, but still teardrop shape. Am putting this down to placenta positioning... (as if I know!)
Plus, your abs look totally intact still, which is amazing. I keep pulling ab muscles at the moment , and even get the odd bout of cramp in my abs which is weird I can tell you.
After reading back, am very relieved at having no dogs. And this could be the only time I'm not annoyed by my lack of ring on finger lol
In other news, anyone get any nearly-mother's day cards? My DSS signed his 'mum to be on mother's day' card from him 'and baby' which made me blub, and then got a Moonpig card through the post from 'Baby Bear'... one of my family members used the 20-week scan picture and made a card from it. Was really touching
Well you lot are no help with your compliments! I think my side profile looks better than it looks from other angles. I think in order to get sympathy I need to post a pic of me sitting down on the sofa
looking like a pie eating champion.
Yes Brave, the placenta is posterior according to scan notes, and baby is extended breech, which I think can both make the bump appear smaller.
I was looking at my Sister's maternity notes yesterday and her fundal height at 25 weeks was the same as mine in now, and yet looking at photos of her from Christmas her bump was so much bigger than mine is now. It's hurting my brain trying to figure out how that works!
No, I didn't get a Mothers Day card from DSD. I didn't want/expect one though so it's fine. Although I obviously do have to take some some degree of a parental role with her, I try not to too much as she's already got a Mum and doesn't need another one. I have a Step-Mum myself so I think it makes it easier for me to empathise with how she views me in her life, which is never going to be the same as how she views her bio parents and nor should it be. I suppose DH could have got a Mum-to-be card from the bump but he spent all weekend fitting new balustrading on our stairs so i'll let him off! That's really lovely of your family to do you a Moonpig card Brave.
Hazle can your doctor offer any advice on the heat/sweating? You might get away with it at home but it's not exactly practical to sit in your office naked trying to keep cool.
It was really sweet of my mum to do that Cavort if I hadn't already blubbed at DSS's offering I would have gone over the edge at that point!
Both were unexpected, but DSS's mum is very good at Christmas and mother's day, especially as DSS loves the women in his life - he arrived loaded with cards and small gifts for his nan (OH's stepmum, incidentally) and great nana. But was especially touched by the mum-to-be card as his mum must have bought that. It's nice to have that mum-to-mum encouragement given how much OH can't stand her!
We had a very amusing drive home in which DSS got very embarrassed by whatever he'd written in his mum's card (which he'd made). He's very sweet and considerate and was asking who'd be looking after baby when it's born (he knows we both work), and then said he'd help us look after it when he comes and stays.
Lol at naked office-sitting - I'm sat here with nigh-on hypothermia thanks to the weather and snow and no heating to speak of bar an electric fan.
Think baby is definitely doing its bit to keep you looking so tidy - mine seems to have started lying transverse (kicks on both sides simultaneously!) then diagonal, and an anterior placenta to boot hence why the sudden need to find more tops!
I didn't get any cards (not that I expected any) but my Mum surprised me with a beautiful purple orchid 'from the baby' which was lovely but made me feel a bit bad as I'd turned up with a rather pitiful looking bunch of carnations for her and she's the one who is actually a Mum!
Now I just have to stop the cats from eating the orchid or 'playing' with the flowers, they've systematically destroyed pretty much any other plant I've tried to bring into the house.
The only plant that might survive cats is a cactus.
Our relationship with DH's ex is amicable but it doesn't stretch to her sharing her Mum title so it's impressive and that your OH's ex has acknowledged you in that way. I don't suppose it helped my particular cause when we got engaged we left it to DSD to tel her Mum and she decided to announce it to her with the phrase, "Guess what, I'm getting a new Mum!"..... which I imagine went down like a fart in a lift. Kids, eh?
Oh cavort that
hilarious awful, poor her! And was it you that said once you'd decorated the nursery you went shopping mad? Well, if so, me too - have spent £1000 so far today - and I'm in the office! Argh.
I'm quite glad we have decided not to decorate a nursery just yet. I'm doing enough shopping as it is. Currently have a car seat, Babybjörn bouncer, the co-sleeper bed and some other bits and pieces in my basket. Then trying to remind myself that I'm not due for months and have plenty of time to shop, it's March and I could easily do it in June!
But need new trousers for work I think, I have this black Gap pair I've been living in, but it's the demi-panel style, as they call it, and keeps folding itself down when I sit. Not comfy, not to mention that it looks funny. So anybody bought any decent looking over-bump work trousers recently?
Hazle I wish I needed over bump trousers!
Yes Janey, I went shopping bonkers before the nursery paint had even dried
Just seen my MW (or rather her morbidly obese stand-in as mine was selfishly on holiday - how very dare she!) Everything (BP, urine and baby's heartbeat) is apparently fine and they're not going to properly measure fundal height until 28 weeks as their chart in my notes is not accurate until then. She had a quick measure today
on the back of my neuroses and I am 23cm at 24+5, which she said is within the expected range at this stage (although it is at the lower end of the expected range). So I need to get my head from up my arse and stop fretting about my small normal-sized bump!
Yay to anti-neuroses Cavort
Don't forget it's only a guide anyway, and if they get really worried, they'll send you for a scan to double check everything. For now, as long as bub is wiggling around and seems happy, enjoy your slender shape!
I've started noticing people - strangers, no less - looking at my tummy. This is disconcerting.
Yes C, rub it in that I'm a Heffalump and you're not
while looking for overbump trousers, I came upon those t-shirts:
Nice, but do I really want to wear elephants and help people to draw certain comparisons? What's next, a walrus?
Brave just wait, they'll go from looking to touching in no time, when you least expect it..
Noooo! No touchy! No! Non! Nyet!
<shudders at thought of random bump molestation>
Cavort - I'm impressed you've seen the same midwife previously, I've never seen the same one twice! Glad your measurements seem ok though, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, we're just all different!
I don't know about overbump work trousers Hazle but I'm definitely going to need some more overbump jeans - the underbump ones I've got become so tight I felt like I had a bladder infection every time I wore them to the point that I attacked them with a pair of scissors and cut a big V shape in the sides and split all the elastic so I could breathe but they're definitely not going to last much longer <commiserates with fellow Heffalump, damn these skinny people>
And Bear? THEY WILL, I am famed for my frosty 'fuck off vibes' which make even the most persistent of charity collectors give me a wide berth in the street but even I have been subjected to random bump molestation.
<wishes for random bump molestation>
Oo-er, DH has suggested we talk about names tonight. I am strangely nervous
good luck cavort, my OH hated all the names I liked and vice versa
We have now settled on a girls name which I think lots of people will hate
I've grown to like hes boy choice though....annoyingly. Although we still have 3 boy names we like. Way too early I know but we'd already decided while TTC, before I was even pregnant.
Oooh names, exciting, will you tell us? We've pretty much narrowed it down to two possibilities I think though there's still some discussing about middle names going on.
I am of your preparation Mother.
Well, it went better than I expected. I showed DH the list I wrote ages ago and he liked a few on it, which I didn't expect at all.
We now have the following shortlist of names we both agree are nice:
Leila/Layla - DH's joint favourite
Amber - DH's joint favourite
Elodie - My probable favourite but it changes daily
DH has taken the dog out to think about it a bit more. We're not going to discuss it with any RL people so you ladies are the only opinions I'll have (if you have any!)
ohh I like Amber and Caitlin Caitlin was on our list for a long time. I think it's really pretty.
Yes we are prepared but I dont think anyone will like the girls name.....we do though so surely thats the main thing?!?
You probably already know that Elodie and Eloise are my favourites.
Are you going to share your names with us cyber fatties, Mother and Purple?
You are right Mother, it really doesn't matter as long as you both like it.... but it doesn't stop it being difficult to take when someone has a less-than-favourable reaction to it, which is why we are keeping it to ourselves (except for me spilling the beans on here, but that doesn't really count )
I have a theory that people will more accepting of the chosen name when you introduce it along with the actual baby whose name it is rather than announcing it before the baby has arrived (when I assume people think there's still a chance you might change your mind).
I like Elodie and Eloise best, Eloise is my favourite from your list and would have made it on my list but I can't use it myself. Our baby is probably going to be called Lucy or Charlotte. I told you I was boring and traditional middle names might be Catherine (which would have been on the main list but can't really use that either) Sophia, or pfff I don't know something like that anyway. I'm trying to avoid telling anyone in real
Cavort we currently like Savanna Brooke for a girl or Harvey Sebastian for a boy.....we may well change our minds though. Its tricky isnt it
I like Savanna/Savannah Mother, I think it's pretty. Don't know why people would hate it?
Thanks purple it seems to get mixed reactions, people think its a bit chavvy....I dont really see that though, I would quite happily be called it, like you I think its pretty.
Youch, just saw the pasting you got on baby names, it reminds me why I don't venture out if this safe little enclave of nice people very often, there are some MEAN people out there!
Yep there are some evil women out their. Plus the admins wont delete it....they seem to want them to keep slagging me off.
I shall not venture out again I wouldnt even think of writing what some women write on here! They are like playground bullies.
I can't believe how mean they were to you! Oh well, you're safe in here, none of us are that rude! It has kind of put me off posting anywhere else though <scared to come out>
All I wanted was thoughts on the names, perhaps other suggestions etc. But they just kept going on and on, I even got called a fucknut....cheeky bitch. I might have gone a bit far when writing back but they really wound me up lol. I thought
stupidly that all the women on here were like us.....alas they are not, there are lots who act like the scary/bitchy girls I used to avoid at school.
There does seem to be some sort of pack mentality around here so when one person turns on you they all pile in but it seemed very unnecessary to me. Baby names are very personal and we all like different things, aside from saying 'I'm not so keen on this, I prefer...' I don't know why you'd feel the need to be rude, you can still give your opinion without being nasty! You can't win either way,if I went near that board they would all tell me my names are too boring and common <i'm staying well away from the vicious harpies though as I don't give a flying squirrel what they think>
purple they emailed to tell me that wont delete it....charming huh. So the pack mentality wins
I dont care what they think either tbh, I just hate the way they all turned on me.
p.s I think your names are lovely, classic and timeless not boring at all!
I would prefer Savannah, but it's a very pretty name, I wouldn't mind being called that. Sebastian was my first choice, but DH didn't like it. So for now we are still thinking about Victor. Undecided about middle name yet.
Oh just checked your thread in babynames and have of course said the same thing about spelling, sorry
Thats fine Hazel the women on the other one were just mean.
You're much braver than me, Mother, daring to venture onto the baby name threads. I have witnessed beheadings on there before!
FWIW I like every baby name mentioned on here so far - we obviously all have supreme taste , and I would say if I thought one was 'orrible... hopefully in a slightly more tactful way than the
scary baby name threads!
I just need to talk DH into my preference over his now. Oh, I luffs a challenge [sly emoticon]
haha cavort my excess hormones didnt help matters I have to say. I just got the 'ump in the end, especially as MN decided I couldnt delete my own thread.
Good luck talking him round my OH managed to hate 'Ruby' with a passion I didnt know he had. But then he wanted Tyler for a girl which I'm less than keen on. Never realised our ideas were so far apart on names.
ooh maybe I should post in Babynames that DH wants Leonidas as middle name? I know nobody uses middle names here anyway, but it's a bit too mucn in the Spartacus or Hercules category for me..
haha hazle my friends let their son choose the new babies middle name and he came up with Thor, Logan, and something else I cant remember. They were all Marvel comic names, thankfully Logan worked nicely with their chosen first name.
I can see your issue but its so tricky when they get their heart set on something.
Is this rubbish for real?!? Is the writer for real?? How deluded can she be?
With apologies for the Daily Fail link.
Zombies that's horrible!
"Rightly or wrongly, I was brought up to believe that this sort of thing was simply a part of life." Um, wrongly?
Yeah her parents really did a number on her.
How can parents be like that??
Oh my. That's just shocking. And her parents were so encouraging! It's just wrong
As to the Great Name Debate ... I am a huge fan of Elodie and Eloise, in fact most names that start with vowels (for girls) - my OH has quite a hard-sounding Anglo Saxon name so we need something classical and girlie, and I'm liking vowel names a lot at the moment.
Sooo, every single name I have suggested he has dismissed as chavvy. Elodie and Eloise are apparently chavvy because they 'can be shortened to 'Elle or Ellie''! Also now on the blacklist are Imogen, Iris (was getting desperate and it jumped out at me one day), Agnes, Alice, all flower names (Daisy, Poppy etc are too common in the popular sense of the word, not in class judgement terms, ditto Florence and Olivia), Adelaide, Ada, Eva/Ava, Amelie, also Lucy. Others I had previously tried include Raven and Trinity. They're much more out-there, I admit, but still, I think Raven has a certain ring to it, especially as junior will be black-haired (barring any weird genetic throw-backs).
I fell in love with Ariel the other day until I remembered the small issue of the soap powder. Maybe I'm just horrendous at picking names!
Boys names seem to be less of a problem, mainly because most boys names will go well with the surname. Sebastian is on the shortlist, which we both quite like (he suggested, dammit) but I have concerns about shortened versions clashing with the surname.
I took great comfort in finding out at the weekend that OH's youngest brother was nameless for three days after birth - they had a name for him all through pregnancy, but it didn't seem right when he arrived.
As for Savannah - it's not one I'd choose but conjures up images of a strong young woman with huge potential. Which I think could be worse...!
bear I love some of those! I do think Raven has a bit of a ring to it. What about Ivy? Isla? Fern? Dahlia, Or Lauren which is pretty and quite unusual these days.
Boys names are soooo hard. I am warming to Sebastian after the slating my other choices got last night. Plus my OH loves it. Also like simple boyish names like Daniel, Stuart, Dylan, Ryan, Scott, Isaac, Luke and Edward....as well as Harvey, Dexter.....and Cooper as a 'out their' addition.
Raven is cool! (not for us though, we're both blonde). But Ellie is not chavvy. Or what's his idea of a non-chavvy name then?
If the sonographer is wrong and it's a girl after all, she will be Louisa - simply because Eloise does not work with the surname.
Oh mother I've just seen your thread. Lordy. People love to fight.
Savanna isn't on my list (probably a good thing - you don't want everyone choosing the same names!) but I think it's a lovely name. Yes, I think it's more accepted to spell with an h (do you want my opinions on the spelling ) but it's not an outrageous spelling you're suggesting, just a slightly adapted one. If that's your choice, go for it - it's YOUR choice. Sod them all.
As for Harvey, I LOVE it. We have a family tradition whereby all the men have Harvey as a middle name. Anyway I told DP about this & he was very happy to go along with it. So proudly told my father we'd be carrying it on... then Dad said I didn't have to as the baby wouldn't have my surname! So given it's a name both DP and I love it's on our shortlist (which currently isn't that short, oops!).
haha janey your thought re always welcome. I just felt that all the comments were on spelling and not the name so I tried to firmly say 'look guys forget the spelling, what do you think of the name' alas it was a bad move.
I've had a couple of PMs from people saying they have reported the thread as they felt the people were being harsh so FX it does get taken down.
Louisa is a great name Hazle, I love it but can't use it for the same reasons I can't use Eloise. If our sonographer is wrong, we'll be having James William. I'm not sure if OH knows this yet but I've made my mind up!
I've no idea why people get their knickers in a twist about what other people want to call their children anyway, it's all a personal choice/personal taste and it wouldn't really work too well if we all liked the same would it!
Hazle I think he has a morbid fear of chavviness, which is basically represented by any name I recommend. I have chosen not to feel offended by this!
Harvey is very cool and one that has crossed my mind actually. Like the suggestions Mother <jealous at the level of your research> Ivy is really nice and Isla is one that's in the next round of ideas, along with Elsa and Ophelia, though Dahlia could work... Was obsessed with the name Lauren when I was younger, but one of my cousins has it as a middle name so may be a bit odd!
The search continues... <This is where it would have been useful to find out what flavour Baby Bear is!>
I would probably point out the issues if someone wanted to name ther DD Vagheena or similar. But otherwise it's just a matter of taste indeed.
One of my cats is called Elsa, I think it's a lovely name, I named her after the lion in 'Born Free'.
purple I love elsa for the same reason....great minds.
bear the research is because I liked flower and colour names but the OH vetod them...how very rude of him! I quite liked Emerald until my OH said it and it sounded like heameriod
I was almost named Elsa, so that was one of the names on my list as well.
My OHs flight is due to land at 12.30 and I am so impatient, want to see him now. Annoyingly he has about a 2/3 hour journey home so its going to be ages till he is actually here.
Is it wrong that I just sniggered out loud at vagheena Hazle??
Just been having a nosey on the Baby Names forum - the meanness displayed to you Mother really doesn't seem to be the norm, you must have caught Them on a bad day! Someone made the point that Aurelie in certain English northern actions sounds like 'Orally' which I think would be something of a challenge if you lived in the north
Btw Janey that sounds harsh from your dad! Hope it didn't come out as bad as that... We are resolutely not telling anyone IRL - I'm planning to give BB a family middle name, either my nan's or my dad's first names and want it to be a surprise.
Thing is, not that I'm stubborn, but if anyone mentions before the birth that 'wouldn't it be nice to name BB after xyz' that will immediately end. So I hope they don't.
And Louisa is lovely Hazle - definitely works cross-borders as well.
Hope your OH gets back soon Mother!
I dont think I helped matters bear as I was tired an grouchy and got a bit arsey but I certainly paid for it
I love Louisa too, Iv only ever met one girl with that name, its very pretty
I love Elsa too. Great minds...
And no, my Dad is totally awesome, I think he was being nice (meaning I'm free to choose a middle name). But I did take the piss about how mean he was, making our baby an outcast from the family .
OK. Starting a list here, please feel free to contribute.
Things not to say to a pregnant colleague
1. Oh my goodness, look at you! You're ABSOLUTELY HUGE! Wow! When I reached 30 weeks I was still in my normal clothes. Wow! I can't believe I was 2 months ahead of you, but wasn't showing at all. Wow! I bet you can't fit into ANY of your NORMAL clothes! Wow! And you're not even due until July. Wow!
Oh Janey no! What a witch!!
Will defo add when the need arises...
(Glad dad did it in a nice way too!)
on your behalf janey.
from my side:
2. Well of course, with my baby, I stayed home until she was in school. I don't understand why would anybody even have children if they don't want to take care of them? You simply cannot provide them with a decent childhood if you're not there!
Sure, everybody has a right to their opinion, but one might consider before expressing it that the pregnant person in question in might actually plan to return after the maternity leave. Thanks for making me feel like a crap mum before I've even had the kid.
janey hazle did you know its cheaper than you think to hire a hitman
Seriously some people have no clue! I would love to stay at home with baby
although may go mad with no adult conversation but we do also need to eat hence I need to earn money. Is that so bad?
Re the woman basically calling you nelly to your face, she has no shame! She has no excuse if she has actually been pregnant, she must just not have any empathy. I'm sure you look fab so ignore the daft bitch.
Oh hazle I had a very similar lecture from a friend of DP the other day. There's no point having them unless you're going to be with them. Thanks. I have a mortgage to pay and we need my salary to do that. I took it with a pinch of salt though as she's 23 or 24 - haha, love my patronising attitude!
mother - that's a fab idea. Sod saving for maternity leave, I'm hiring one!
I love to get those comments from male colleagues. So, you have to be there to be a good parent? And how much time did you take off when you had your DC? Ah, 2 days?
DS will be home with a caring parent, just that this happens to be DH - not quite like being raised by wolves..
I am going to be seen as the worst mother in the world then when I go back to work as we could afford for me to be to be a SAHM but I will be choosing to work to to preserve my own financial independence and sanity. I am sure I will love every second I spend with DD but I still want some kind of adult life as well. I absolutely refuse to turn into one of these baby bores who are unable to talk about anything other than their kids. I'm sure there will be plenty of observers who will say I never should have had a baby with this attitude
but fuck em, who cares what strangers think.
Whatever you do, don't read 'How not to f*ck them up' by Oliver James. I read it with the best of intentions, but it's only relevant if you're Kate Middleton and can afford to choose whether or not you return to work, alhtough there is a section that says 'some mothers need to return to work or they get depressed and that's even worse for baby than being put in childcare'.
Also says that boys should not be put in childcare, especially nursery settings, until after 2 years old.
There were some good bits, but all-in-all it's hard to read without getting upset that you're destined to be a terrible mother. I read it 2+years ago, when it came out...
It's funny though what people get used to and start considering normal or the only acceptable option. As I've said, parental leave in Estonia is 3 years. So my mum was of course worried that how will I manage here, when I need to go back when the baby is just 3 months.
Mum, I said, wasn't the maternity leave just 2 months when you had me and DSis? You went back to work then, didn't you?
Oh..says mum.. you're right, I did. Everybody did.
But as everybody is so used to 3-year leave, this seems like a totally crazy idea nowadays.
cavort I think I would need to work for my sanity too, I like adults too much to spend my life without adult conversation.
I think I will give that book a wide berth Brave.
I have broken out in eczema-like blotches on my chin and forehead today without any logical explanation (I don't have eczema). No recent new toiletries or cosmetics to blame so I conclude it can only be related to pregnancy. Looks-wise, today has not been the greatest
Just imagine 3 years mat leave. 3 years!!!
I think in an ideal world I'd like to work part-time, then at least I'd be spending more time with baby than at my desk. But that ain't gonna happen.
I also think it particularly sucks that 'the fun part' of babies is when they start doing stuff at around 6 months... after all the mum's, who've spent months catering to feeding needs and dirty bottoms and little else, have gone back to work.
Part time would be lovely, I agree. Unfortunately would never happen with my job or a similar role. And moving to something different AND going part time would mean such a massive drop in salary I'd imagine that it would be impossible. Damn it.
I MIGHT be able to persuade them to let me work from home one day a week, we shall see. However, to be able to work, I'd still need to have childcare. I guess it would mean though that I could work through 'lunch', and given the lack of commute, I'd have longer with DS/DD/whatever it is than on a normal day.
Oh Cavort, it's nice to know that you might be skinny but that you too are developing a face as leporous and poxy as mine. I haven't got any 'spots' but between the red spider veins and the random brown blotches (look a bit like liver spots) I'm not looking my most attractive (and yes, I DID mean to be so rude and I bet you don't look as revolting as me anyway)
Janey, I've had almost the exact same comments from several people about how humongous I am. I'd ask your hitman for a 2 for 1 deal except one of the worst perpetrators is my mother so I can't really have her shot as tempting as it is.
I'm thinking about going back to work just two or three days a week, not because we've got loads of money but I don't like my job and it doesn't pay well anyway. OH would rather I didn't go back at all I think but I feel like I need some sense of financial independence. Who knows though, I may change my mind once the baby is here?
I woke myself up screaming last night (and OH!) with horrendous agonising cramp in my calf muscle. A few hours later I woke up screaming and it was the other leg. Strangely it was the screaming that woke me up not the pain, weird huh? No doubt this is some all new 'this week's special' pregnancy hell.
I am also considering asking for part-time initially, but I'm not sure how well this will be received at work and I don't plan on mentioning it until I'm ready to go back (if I go back... I could always leave after maternity and look for something else part-time if they say no). I will get maternity leave out of the way before thinking about that though - 11 (ish) weeks left to work!
Yup, tiny babies are cute but really aren't that interesting are they?
I think part time is only possible if you have set working hours and are only expected to do what you can during those hours. With my job, part time would just mean that I'll do the same amount of work (incl. in my free time) and get less money.
Well they can either offer me part time hours or stick it frankly, if it were a career or a job I loved or was passionate about that would be one thing but it's not, it's a fairly crappy job which I am vastly over qualified for but have become stuck in due to the area I live in and the state of the economy. Not enough love for it or pay to drag me away from my baby 5 days a week!
There's no reason why I couldn't do my job part time and I work for a Local Authority so they should, theoretically be reasonable about accommodating flexible working BUT my manager's manager is famously difficult about women going off and having babies so we shall see...
My current job is not one which would be suited to part-time hours, but my company is currently undergoing a massive overhaul, which coincidentally includes changing my role (and everyone else who does the same as me) to one which (IMO) could be considered for part-time so I will wait and see.
It's strange now thinking I could be going back there because the inevitability of having to leave my job was a big part of my anguished decision making process when deciding to TTC. It's not like I love it that much but it's easy enough and quite well paid (except for their wanky minimal maternity provision).
Disclaimer: my naive opinions and ideals of wanting to go back to work are subject to change after baby is born and I decide I can't bare to leave her
Ok sorry in advance for the icky message. Me and OH just dtd and I had pale pink cm afterwards......should I be worried?
I wouldn't worry too much, if you get sustained bright red bleeding get it checked out but otherwise it's fairly common to have some minor bleeding early on, I had 3 separate small bleeds and everything is fine.
I believe it's very common to bleed after sex in early pregnancy Mother so probably nothing to worry about.
I had pink CM at around 6 weeks which my MW later said could have been the embryo implanting further. This is apparently fairly common at around 6-8 weeks.
I also had unexplained bright red bleeding at 9 weeks and had to go for a scan to check everything was ok (which thankfully it was).
Your body is just trying to keep you on your toes
Oh no mother that sounds worrying - but as the others have said, it's fairly common early doors. It can also be down to the cervix being extra sensitive - when I was on the pill I had cervical ectropion (also erroneously called erosion) which meant that cells from the inside of the cervix sometimes grew onto the outside surface and were prone to bleeding. This is very common in pregnancy I believe as the same hormones are in play.
So probably nowt to worry about - but do shout your doc if it gets worse or you get bad cramps.
Oh mother, really hope all is OK. I too had some pinkish CM around that point, and even at 16 weeks, but thankfully all has been fine - so hopefully you'll be fine too.
all gone this morning so fx all is ok.
Good news mother.
As I think we all said, it appears that pregnancy is just one worry after another, followed by loads more worry (apparently) once the baby appears!
FINALLY have the money for the loft conversion in my current account. Only took two months from start to finish - bloody bank. There was one lovely man in the call centre who helped me keep my sanity, without him I think I would have given up - and changed bank accounts!
Started the working day with a row with an idiotic colleague. Annoyingly we had exactly the same row this time last year, about exactly the same thing, yet she's made the same mistake again this year. Really trying to not let it stress me out but it's so hard!
Cross post - oh, bad news mother
IDK Janey nausea is often a good thing... means the hormones are having a hay-day
Trust me now mother you will get to a point where you will forget what it was like to feel sick all the time. I didn't believe it , especially when vomming three times a day, but already at 21 weeks the memory is less vivid (barring the odd sicky day, like this morning, which usually comes when I'm stressed and tired).
Eat whatever you fancy right now (it will change daily if not more so), carry snacks everywhere you go and graze as much as possible, drink lots (try sparkling water if off tap water, took me ages to find that one), and take your time about everything - rushing around will make you feel worse.
Janey boo to work row, but great news about magic loft money! All hail to a callcentre angel - so rare but make life so much easier
I finally got around to asking for a PAC code for my mobile so I can switch companies at the weekend and, after 45 minutes on hold (I kid you not) bracing myself for the inevitable battle, I spoke to a nice woman who gave me it instantly - she had texted it while I was still on the phone to her!
OH said I'd missed a trick by not gunning for a better deal but the major problem for me was poor network coverage in the house so there was little to argue about. Good customer service shock!
Oh yes, pregnancy is a constant worry, better get used to it!
As said, I didn't really have much nausea, so when i did, chewing on some raw ginger actually seemed to help.
I'm in a whining mood again - honestly, I like living here and I don't want to be one of those immigrants constantly complaining how things were so much better in the old country, but sometimes this place seems to be stuck in middle ages. I'm used to a service culture, where places are open so working people can visit them, everything is made easy and not only that - you can do everything online, from your taxes to voting, not to mention doctors appointments.
But here - oh no. Opening times for anything, from doctor to post office, can be 9-12 and 14-16, but closed on Wednesdays and sorry, phones are answered on selected days only. I actually have to go to the hospital to let them know that I want to give birth there - absolutely no reason I couldn't fill out and send the forms but no, not possible. One of my banks only got official email addresses this year, before I was expected to send emails to the manager's private gmail address. Or send them a fax. A fax? Who uses those nowadays? Why not a carrier pigeon? Things like that. Sigh.
Barging in for some experienced answers please! Did any of you ladies happen to POA-OPK around the same time you got your BFP? I often use OPK's during my 2WW (having read loads of forums that suggest they could detect an early BFP before a HPT could) and have never seen a line but I got a faint line on an OPK just now. Just wondered if this had happened to any of the Berry grads?
I didn't even know you could do that, so no, I didn't. So not much help here, sorry. If I had known I would have been POA-OPK obsessively too. Really, really hope that the line is a good sign. When's your 2ww over?
hazle - moan away. You have to go to the hospital to register? FFS.
I'm with you Hazle. It's not as bad here but I am completely in favour of a 24 hour society everything is available at whatever time you want it.
I'm sure with trial and error you'll find your own personal remedies to alleviate the pregancy nausea Mother, but the thing that worked best for me was ice cold drinks - literally with ice from the bottom of the glass to the top. Like Brave said, it will be a distant memory before long and at least you know it will be worth it in the end.
Good news on the loft money Janey. Let the disruption begin, eh?
This morning's ante-natal class was on feeding and was a bit of a brain melter! There was so much to take in and remember I wish I had taken notes! They didn't discourage formula feeding at all and stressed that it should be a mother's informed decision, but personally it just made me even more determined to breastfeed if I can as the benefits to both mother and baby are just massive.
Worrying though was the research and statistics on establishing BF after any medical intervention during the birth. Apparently every newborn is born with a natural instinct to find the breast on its own - when placed on the mother's abdomen after birth it will (amazingly) crawl up to her breast and latch on all on its own like in this video (better watched without the highly annoying music) . But if there is any kind of medical intervention, whether it be pain-relief drugs, forceps, ventouse, CS or if the baby is separated from the mother for any period of time following birth this natural instinct is partially or fully lost, which then makes establishment of successful BF much more difficult.
It was a really interesting session but I know this 'perfect' birth without intervention is quite unlikely so I just hope I can get BF established afterwards.
In other news, I also learned a newborn's stomach only holds 5-10ml, so trying to force in any more than that in one go will lead to stomach stretching. This is why formula fed babies sleep 'better' because they are basically too full. Whether formula fed or breast fed the baby should always dictate how much it wants to take in one go.
Also, Aptamil formula is much dearer than Cow & Gate and SMA because it is marketed at middle-class mothers whereas the other two are targeted at working-class mothers. All 3 of them contain exactly the same ingredients because the DofH makes sure of it. Good to know!
No sorry Merkin, I was using the Clearblue OPK when I got upduffed so stopped testing after the smiley. I did get a strong BFP at 12DPO on a FRER though.
FX for your line being a BFP
Oh, if I for some reason cannot breastfeed, I will certainly want this gadget:
Oh fingers crossed Merkin, hope it's a BFP!
Cavort, I've been thinking about that too. Apparently significant amounts of skin to skin contact immediately after birth is massively important too. Due to horrible, life threatening complications, my DSIL had my niece by ELCS under general anaesthetic. She requested that whilst she was 'asleep' my niece was placed on her for skin to skin, if it was safe for the niece medically; she was, and
That's reassuring to know Janey
as I am convinced I am headed for CS due to stubborn breech baby.
merkin I have cheapy opks in my bag still, shall go pee on one for you now
Haha weirdly I do too merkin - I had some left over I was going to give to a friend tonight!
well thats really weird you're right merkin, that was the strongest second line I ever had on an opk. How odd!
Everything crossed for you hun!
That was a long wee Mother
Boo to bureaucracy Hazle. What a total faff. Hope it's not as arduous as it sounds...
Great idea to have DC placed on chest if under GA... never would have thought of that. I also think I read somewhere that even dads can help with this if mum indisposed (obv not feeding part).
I will be writing it into my birth plan that if for some reason me and DC get separated (and if it's safe to do so), that OH has skin to skin contact until I am able to.
Think it will do them both the world of good...
Also, Cavort have you looked at www.spinningbabies.com yet? Really really worth doing... (and hey, it can't hurt).
I'm fighting lazyness here. Have a Tae Bo class later, but could also go to Dance aerobics just before that. Or not. Hm. I should really, shouldn't I, as always whining about my size?
haha brave I got a bit involved in other boring work things....yawn.
Hazle you're allowed the odd 'lazier' day - I say 'lazier' because you're clearly the fittest upduffed woman I've ever known!
Do what you feel up to - sometimes it's ok to chill a bit.
Incidentally, a colleague has just forwarded me a link to a pregnancy yoga class that <shock horror> is actually on at a time when working pregnants can go. Actually quite excited
Whatever you do tonight, enjoy it.
hazle doing one makes you unlazy so I wouldnt worry, if you fancy 2 do 2 if not dont force it. You are so good! My only exercise at the mo is walking pooch
Thanks for agreeing, lazyness won. So it's just Tae Bo and a French class, the latter not terribly active in any way.
A new pregnancy thing I hadn't considered before - just saw that there's an interesting conference in Barcelona in May. Wrote to boss that I want to go, then remembered to check if the airline with direct flights will actually let me fly! (in case anybody is interested, Swiss Airlines will allow you to fly up to 36 weeks, so I would still be fine)
Barcelona sound a hell of a lot better than my May break in a static caravan in Newquay with DH and the dog!
Mother you are a star and have made my day! <starts quietly jumping around with a hopeful face!>
Argh merkin everything crossed for you!
well technically Cavort it would be a work trip, but I guess I could make a long weekend out of it. And see my best friend who lives in Spain at the moment. Hmm, now just need to convince my boss who is quite stingy with business travel abroad..
Good luck with that Hazle. If I were a boss I would
tight be much less likely to send employees to conferences in good locations, whereas if it was a conference in Grimsby no problemo!
It's looking quite promising on the BFP front for Merkin on t'other thread. FX for a new graduate soon.
I know - last year I was sent to a meeting in Detroit, while she herself went to a similar one in California..
Anyone around for an opinion? on this
Oh merkin, is that your pregnancy test? Is it? I really, really think I can see a line.... Argh, where's everyone else - I'm a bit excitable about this kind of thing so don't want to get your hopes up!!
Yes there is a line! That's what my first tests looked like.
Oh glad you think so too hazle - was worried that I was just getting carried away with it all!
Thank you - I wasn't sure if I was just going mad. Its clearer and darker and wider in real life too. BUT I have been testing early as only 8dpo so have a horrific wait til Tue now (when AF is due) before I can feel a tiny bit more hopeful. <slaps own hand for early testing badness>
We've all done it merkin!
My line was soooooooo pale for a good week until after AF due - I think I've got a picture of my first BFP on my profile? - I almost wonder if yours looks darker than Understand completely it all feels very very tentative
but I'm whispering teeny tiny silent congratulations so fingers crossed for the next few days....
Ohhh Merkin, how very very very exciting! I got my bfp at 10 or 11 dpo so I was naughty too I was also a total neurotic wreck until I actually missed AF. My suggestion would be not to test every day
very very hard I know but it only made things worse for me, I would say if you want to test, test every 2 or 3 days. My line was that faint to start with and didn't really get much darker for about a week (I have lots of pics on my profile) so do not panic if it doesn't get dark quickly.
I have everything crossed for you! How exciting!!!
I see a line Merkin!
Barcelona v Grimsby for a conference, hmmm, toughie
Cavort, I do hope you just plucked that out of thin air and haven't actually had to go to Grimsby for a conference. I live not a million miles away from there and can honestly say it really isn't the brightest northern town to choose!
Sooo today's I'm-a-bad-mother-to-be-because... relates to me trying to conceal bump at work. I have a very important work function later on this evening which the chief exec has asked me to attend and look after some of the visitors. There will also be VIPs. This requires suiting up, or at least smart skirting with suit jacketing.
Yesterday, my bump pretty much popped into shape and is solid, and can no longer be concealed. Chief exec doesn't yet know I'm pg (that I know of) and I feel really self-conscious because I don't want my profesionalism called into question or my dedication to my job/career questioned just because I'll be running away in a few months to have a baby.
I know this is completely illogical and I'm being ridiculous, but I feel really self-conscious about it and don't really want to say to his PA oh by the way, I'm up the duff in case you didn't know.
So every smart item of clothing I own was tried on last night. Even the suits that were too big are no longer working because they inevitably button up where Baby Bear now resides and frankly, although OH's suugestion of 'just use safety pins' was sweet, he obviously doesn't realise that people can see safety pins on suits because the buttons are part of the design.
My go-to dress, a jersey pencil skirt bottom with cowled navy top half (which I can wear suit jacket with) was an epic fail, as even the tight panelling does nowt for concealment.
So there were tears before breakfast, compounded by OH saying 'why do you want to hide it? you wanted to be pregnant, now you're just wishing the baby away' which I'm clearly not, I just wish this was a bit more controllable.
Bah, apologies for essay rant. I now have on a jersey pencil skirt with a white blouse over that, with a very very old black suit jacket (just works) creates enough layering to make it less obvious.
To top it all, went to get a bacon sarnie from one of the cafes at work and they said 'no bacon until 9am'. Actually nearly cried. Hormones.
Thank you ladies. Fingers crossed til after Tue when I might feel more confident. (Although have dipped multiple sticks in both FMU and SMU this AM already and all have lines!)
Oh cavort what a nightmare. I'm am of course referring to the bacon sarnie here
I am COMPLETELY with you on the controlling who knows you are pg and when. It's not being a bad mother to be AT ALL. Instead, I'd imagine that you want to go to the meeting, people to not know, and then after you've shown how hard you're still working and competent you are, your MD can find out in his own time safe in the knowledge you're still his brilliant employee. That's not unreasonable at all.
I had to go to a meeting a week ago in the place of my commerical director and MD, and the MD's of all our competitors were there
obviously I was the only female in the room, bloody equality hey!. Anyway I got there early and sat down, so the bump was hidden - it wasn't until afterwards I told those people I knew my news, and let the bump show to those that didn't know. I think it's reasonable enough, so please don't beat yourself up about it.
Hope your meeting is post 9am so you can still get your sarnie!
Thanks Janey - meeting is tonight, starts at 6.30pm, followed by a drinks reception aka lots of standing around and small talk <shudders>, which I'm also expected to be at! Consoled myself with brick of flapjack, which should work til lunch time.
Bah. Least it's not just me with
control issues a thinner skin than I thought.
Shitting Ada. I called you cavort then, not brave. I AM GOING MAD.
Oh no bear if it helps I would cry at the lack of a bacon sarnie on a normal day.
I also don't think you are mad to be having a panic, if nothing else the change in your body is a big thing to get used to, I mean yes we know we will get a bump but it must still be odd to look down and see it. We all have a way of carrying ourselves at work and in certain situations to make ourselves feel empowered and I assume
perhaps wrongly that it is just making you feel a bit out of control. I would remember that men are not perceptive creatures! They don't notice things until they pointed out normally so they might notice less than you think. Also do not forget the power of boobs, if they have gotten bigger they may look no further down.....sorry that is really sexist but some of it is definitely true.
Thinking of you.
Lol at pervy men Mother and 'shitting Ada' - clearly the best use of swearing I've heard in at least three years
Funnily enough, I interviewed a 21-year-old lad for some work the other week and noticed he kept staring at my boobs. This is very unusual for me as my pre-pregnancy self is rather flat-chested. So I think now I'm about the same size as normal women
And you're right, I am being controlling. Dammit. Went to a public lecture the other week (love living near a uni) about perinatal mental health and the professor of midwifery said that the increasing lack of control throughout a pregnancy can be intimidating for mums-to-be and can even lead to full-blown depression and tokophobia etc. Trying to relinquish control, honest!
bear I nearly spat my drink out when I read 'shitting ada' too, awesome work janey.
I actually lied to a friend about being pregnant last night and feel a bit bad this morning. I had a nice dinner with 2 friends and one knows we are ttc (because I was asking her about maternity pay etc) and asked outright, even though other friend had no idea! I really didnt want to tell them as they would struggle to keep it quiet, still felt bad lying though.
Was the right thing though as she then told me how some of her friends are ttc, bet they dont know shes telking people! This is all so cloak and dagger isnt it.
Yup Mother it sure is. Don't feel bad about lying, it's kinda rude to flat out ask, and unless they're friends you'd turn to if things didn't go to plan, then totally reasonable to keep it quiet.
You can always say further down the line that you were waiting for confirmation/weren't sure/didn't want to jinx it if you get called on your fib.
<lurks in the corner as not yet brave enough to admit I may be a grad!>
When you get a second ladies could you post a tiny bit of info about yourselves (unless you've done this on a prev thread and I could simply go and find that) so I have a better idea of who everyone is and where they're at (pregnancy not geography!)
there definitely was a line!
I'm 34 years old, 26 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow and having a boy. Geographically I'm living in France with my French husband (and working in Switzerland) so you will often hear me complaining about the local peculiarities.
Hi Merkin and congratulations!! In the murky
booze free world of pregnancy there's not too much to get that excited about just neuroses and worry so a BFP really cheers me up! I do remember the worry that, despite BFP, AF was still going to show up on time. You'll feel a bit better once AF time has passed.
I am also 34
nearly 35, 25+1 upduffed with a girl. I live with DH and our dog and DH already has a 7 year old daughter.
I've had 6 lines today so feeling strangely calm. That feeling will probably have deserted me in the morn. Bought DH a what to expect when you're expecting as a way of letting him know today... Then read the section of what I am supposed to eat each day and I was baffled an amazed!!
Take no notice of all that shite Merkin, just eat pretty much normally with a spoonful of common sense. The NHS site lists the few foods you should avoid and everything else is fair game. If you Google absolutely anything there is always some idiot saying why you shouldn't eat it when you're pregnant. Make sure you're on the Folic Acid and Vitamin D though.
Have you told your OH? How did he react?
He's over the moon. Nervous but over the moon! Disbelieving until he saw all the lines and worried that the frer is a squinter!
On the diet front I'm afraid to say this is going to be a massive change for me as I normally eat and drink crap (luckily have the metabolism to cope with it!) therefore I really am going to need to learn to read labels and understand my food groups
I hate that book Merkin. And most "thou shalt not.." advice always turns out to be "...because we can't test on pregnant women and therefore don't know absolutely 100% that it's safe". Might as well wrap yourself in bubblewrap and live on distilled water..
Merkin if you're unlucky enough to get MS your body will dictate what you can and can't eat and if that happens to be 5 bags of Monster Munch every day then there's not much you can do about it. In the early days you just have to eat what you can keep down. That said, you might not get any MS.
I try to eat a reasonably balanced diet but that still involves some junk food and I am quite addicted to Fanta Orange to the point that I worry about the baby coming out orange.
Aww, that's lovely that your OH is so chuffed.
My bloody DH has just come home pissed and burst my birthing ball (which is, or rather was an exercise ball) while drunkenly wrestling the dog around the floor. Men!!
Yeah I figured most of it should be taken with a pinch of salt, nice to have it confirmed! Happily persuaded DH to buy me a huuuge Easter egg tonight which I will scoff!
Mh Cavort you had to remind me... [waddles towards the fridge for a fanta]
Oops sorry Hazle. I am turning this thread into the orange baby brigade
I can definitely see a line too and am very excited about another BFP (boring life)
I'm 31 and 24 weeks pregnant with probably a girl. I used to have ideas about healthy eating but now mostly live on kit kats and crisps <shrugs> you just gotta go with it!
merkin that is a definite line!! How many dpo are you??
By the way all, shall we do a quick refresh of stats? I'll start.
Zombies, due 25 Aug.
You and your bloody fanta cavort I nearly cried in m&s to go when they'd run out at lunch time. Merkin dont listen to cavort - she'll have you addicted too in no time. Still, I like to count it as one of my five a day
Anyway I'm an ancient 38 years old (with a lovely just turned 30 DP - cougar!
I wish, am just a whale these days ) and am 23+2.
And a very warm tentative welcome, loving having new another grad
Ooh cross post, Janey due 9th juli
Cavort, due 26th June
Zombies, due 25 Aug
Or July, depending on whether you check for typos before posting or not
Yeah many apologies again about the Fanta
Cavort, due 26th June
Janey due 9th juli
Zombies, due 25 Aug
Hmm can't seem to copy and paste on my phone today even though I figured it out last time so can someone add me above Janey:
Purple, due 2nd July
Howdy ladies and yay again merkin!
MotherOfCleo, 30 tomorrow (eek), 6+2, edd 7th November
Happy 30th Birthday Mother!
I remember it well.... in the distant past. <sobs> I hope your OH is spoiling you and you're not missing the booze too much
it's the only thing that got me through mine.
Happy birthday mother
Thanks for all the stats everyone
zombie I'm a v early 9dpo, 8 days yesterday when I got that line. I got a positive OPK on 6dpo (that's had never happened before) which made me wonder, tested 7dpo and nothing and then the lovely lines yesterday!
Cavort, due 26th June
Purple, due 2nd July
Janey due 9th July
BraveLilBear, 32, due 22 July, expected August
Zombies, due 25 Aug
MotherOfCleo, 30 (eek), 6+2, edd 7th November
Morning all and happy 30th birthday Mother! Wow how exciting. Astrologically speaking (ahem) the ages 28-30 signify massive change, hence why so many people end up up-duffed around that time I, on the other hand, split up with my ex just before I hit 30, cos I knew he'd never cut it as a father. Met wonderful OH a couple of months after we both turned 30.
Sooo glad it's Friday!
BTW, I seem to be immune to the F-word obsession... I seem to prefer ordinary sparkling water (I am such a diva these days) or cherryade. Better still, Cherry 7Up...
Awesome brave, haven't had cherryade for AGES. Maybe I can have a pink baby instead of an orange one now? Although weirdly the other day I did fancy some dandelion and burdock. Odd.
mother - happy birthday Hope you have a fab day x
HazleNutt due 21st of June
Cavort, due 26th June
Purple, due 2nd July
Janey due 9th July
BraveLilBear, 32, due 22 July, expected August
Zombies, due 25 Aug
MotherOfCleo, 30 (eek), 6+2, edd 7th November
Happy Birthday Mother!
So went to the hospital to sign up. with driving there and back and waiting, it took me good 2 hours. So what did they do? Asked if I want a private room, noted down my address, insurance details and gave me some info leaflets. Absolutely nothing that required my presence and it all could have been done in about a minute if they had the info on the website and online sign-up options. Honestly, no wonder "efficiency" is not the first word that springs to mind when talking about France.
Hospital looks nice though, very well equipped with state of the art neonatal unit, lots of well-known specialists and so on. They also offer tours so we can go and see what it looks like and where everything is before birth.
Happy Birthday Mother!
I'm not a Fanta obsessive either, although I haven't tried it since I've been pregnant so perhaps now I'd suddenly like it if I tried it? My drink of choice is cans of tropical Rio, to the point that our friend who has a card for Bookers went and fetched me six crates of the stuff...and I've only got two left I'm quite fond of hot chocolate too but I'm pretty sure neither of those is going to turn mini monster a funny colour (smug).
...Cherry 7up sounds interesting though...
purple I didn't used to like fanta either.
Oh and hazle - sounds ridiculous. I would NOT be in a good mood if I'd had to do that.
Having said that, one of my best friends now lives in Geneva and had her third out there. It sounded like a completely different experience to the NHS. She was actually looking forward to it! The day after the birth they took the baby away for an hour or two and gave her and her husband a romantic meal in the room?! She said it was like a trip to a five star hotel.
Have to say my NHS hospital in pikey East London isn't quite like that!
purple before fanta was mentioned on this thread, I hadn't had any since I was about 10..
janey I've had the opportunity to experience a French hospital last year and I have to say, once you're there, it's all very well organised and efficient, and all doctors and nurses were lovely - it's just the administration that drives you nuts.
Nooo stop trying to drag me over to the dark side of the neon orange drinks! Might have to try some just to see!
The F-word was never particularly my pre-pregnancy drink of choice. It really is the baby craving it. <makes up pathetic excuse> I am also quite partial to Dandelion & Burpalot and Cherryade as well though. <regresses 25 years>
My LHA kindly anticipated that I was thinking of TTC and built a brand new 40 million pound maternity facility last year just 10 minutes from my house. We haven't visited yet (unless you count the EPAU) but it looks very nice and has won national awards for maternity care, especially in the midwife-led unit apparently. I have to admit this eases my fear of birth somewhat.
Hazle that sounds really frustrating. Like you haven't got anything better to do for 2 hours.
Now dandelion and burdock you could maybe tempt me to, I haven't had that in YEARS but mmmm it sounds good.
Bit envious of your maternity unit, I can be pretty sure the one near me isn't nearly so swanky! There are many joys to living in deepest darkest Devon but multi million pound state of the art facilities aren't usually one of them! (that said, there's nothing WRONG with our local hospital as far as I know, aside from a chronic lack of parking)
I've just had a massive fail on the healthy eating front, McDonalds for lunch with hot chocolate with a snickers chaser I'm going to some special place in hell reserved for bad pregnant ladies aren't I?
Purple, don't be silly it's Friday. EVERYBODY knows that what you eat on a Friday doesn't count
Cavort I am sooo jealous of your special for-Cavort's-use maternity wing!
Our LHA used to have an MLU, where two of my good friends had amazing waterbirth experiences and can't rrecommend it enough... but it got closed due to staffing issues. The new AMU unit to go with the only-other-choice CLU was supposed to open in January. It hasn't. There is no news.
The faffing seems mightily annoying Hazle. I hate faff. I saw having to go all the way back to the main entrance of the hospital to buy a token for the ultrasound pictures at 20 weeks a major incovenience. But at least you get good care when you get there.
And...cherryade cherryade cherryade cherryade orangina cherryade cherryade...
Mmmmmmmm (tho have had half a litre of apple juice most days)
Purple I had a McDs brerakfast this morning (a very diappointing affair, will satisfy that urge for the rest of my pregnancy methinks) which I justified by having orange juice with...
Have now had salad for lunch (but have got a wodge of flapjack, a packet of fruit pastilles and I've just heard of comic relief cakes somewhere for this arvo). Tonight we're planning to have a Thai meal at our fave restaurant. Friday's officially don't count!
Phew, that's alright then, I AM planning on going swimming after work which in my head will cancel out all the crap I've eaten and I feel better now that none of you are going to disagree with me on that
Oh brave flapjack is EXACTLY what I need now
to go with my bloody fanta
Now where can I get some from...
You lot are a bad influence
My usual Friday treat is sushi (yes, it's fine to eat, all fish used for sushi in Europe has to be frozen first).
For lunch I had a Magnum though, so I'm sure that cancels out any health benefits of salmon.
Mmmmm flapjack! <browses online at maternity clothes in the next size up>
Soemone railed at me the other day because I said how much I love smoked salmon. 'You can't eat that' she said, rather indignantly. I said 'yes, I can', and promptly guiltily googled thereafter.
Same person said I couldn't dye my hair. Same person who has a 1-year-old daughter! Annoying.
hazle - apart from salmon in the UK, which doesn't have to be frozen first here, if it's been fished here. So beware UK people of sushi salmon - especially from itsu, who are annoyingly proud of their non-frozen salmon.
Smoked salmon is fine though brave
Thanks janey didn't know that. I haven't seen any UK salmon here.
In other news, besides baby classes, have also signed us up for children's first aid and common illnesses classes. Probably a bit PFB, but would be more confident if I had a slight idea what to do in case something happened.
Oh Janey which hospital are you at then?
Oh, it might only apply to salmon bought and sold in the UK, so I think you're safe hazle. Just
showing off warning the UK-based berries! And I too have looked into a baby first aid course, DP is going to do it with me, and also probably my folks. Can't do any harm!
zombies - Homerton hospital. Are you near me?
I'm doing a first aid course as well in May, I don't think that's PFB, I think it's sensible.
Ah yes, the stupid comments people like to make about what you're eating, just wait until some idiot tells you off for eating dried pineapple. And what are you supposed to do if you don't dye your hair then? I've got so much grey I'd look like a bloody badger! Sod that for a lark, pregnancy is unglamorous enough as it is!
I don't dye my hair and haven't got any grey
yet... until this baby turns me into Cruella Deville
I have had the pineapple comments but ignored them. I bloody love pineapple!
I haven't seen any first aid courses advertised around here. I think it makes sense though and is much better than asking Dr Google.
So you're thin and not grey...I could change my mind about liking you you know I started going grey when I was 18 and there's no hiding it on my dark hair.
The first aid course I'm going to just a basic one and is being run at a children's centre but St John's ambulance run a lot of paediatric first aid courses usually though they may be more in depth.
Purple have you got naturally very dark hair? Everyone I know with very dark brown or black hair has gone grey quite young. DH has very dark brown hair and is starting to go grey even though he is a few years younger then me
also a cougar but not anywhere near as impressive as Janey's 8 year age gap. My hair is chestnut brown and very fine. I'm sure it will catch up with me eventually!
I will have a nosey on the noticeboard at the Childrens Centre when I go to ante-natal on Wednesday to see if there are any first aid classes advertised.
Agreed cavort. All my friends with gorgeous dark locks are going grey. Chestnut sounds lovely btw cavort.
I am a boring mousey colour so have to bleach it blonde anyway, even though I'm not going grey
I can find an occasional grey hair, but I'm naturally blonde, so they are not noticeable. My mum started going grey when she was 25. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that this was also just after she had me.
Yes my natural hair colour (strains to try to remember) is very very dark brown. It was very lovely once upon a time! when I first started going grey I had one grey stripe which was pretty cool but I'm afraid by now if I left it to nature if be really very grey all over. Oh well, I have built in highlights when I dye it
My dark dark thick hair doesn't really match my pale skin anyway, it's like my parents couldn't get along even genetically! (Mum blonde and pale with blue eyes, Dad olive skinned with black hair and dark brown eyes, I got an odd looking mix of the two)
Which makes me wonder how mini monster will turn out as OH is blonde haired and blue eyed.
Ahh thanks for the happy birthdays guys. Had a fab day with the family and off to london for the day tomorrow and even staying over which is nice.
Me body gave me the gift of nausea and diarrhea though which is less nice.
Plus our dog sitter has just let us down last minute and Im going to have to ask my folks to help out with pooch tomorrow which makes me feel bad.
I have dark brown hair but thankfully no greys yet, my mum didnt go grey till she was in her 50s so fingers crossed I got those genes.
it's not fair! How come I'm the short fat grey haired scabby faced one? I'm like the Elderbery's head leper!
The lady at the swimming pool tonight said "an adult swim?" When I said 1 to swim but I can't be too pleased about that since I was standing there as a haggard looking 31 year old big pregnant lady dressed quite obviously in 'office work' clothes with car keys in hand so she obviously should have gone to specsavers.
Glad you had a nice birthday Mother.
Just sloping back off to the ugly corner now...
I absolutely can't wait to see what our Bubs looks like! I also wonder if she'll look like DSD as DSD looks much more like DH than her Mum, although DSD is mousy blonde and was bald until she was nearly 2, whereas our baby will have dark hair and probably lots of it as DH and I both had loads of hair at birth apparently.
FIL threw a slight spanner in the works a while back though by announcing that despite being dark himself, there is quite a lot of ginger on his side of the family. I already had everything crossed that DD doesn't get DH's curly hair but that pales into insignificance when you bring the possibility of ginge into the equation.
Oh dear Mother, I hope the rest of your birthday
and your guts gets better!
I would have taken that as a massive compliment Purple! You obviously look like a youthful teenage mother
Mine's clearing up a bit but I also still have a blotchy face
My step son is a completely carroty ginger haired pale skinned tall skinny beanpole, he looks NOTHING like his dad who is short and
fat broad shouldered built like a brick... built like a rugby player a really short chubby rugby player he must get it from his mum
Well your DSS certainly doesn't sound like he looks anything like your OH! With ginger being a recessive gene, I would need to have it as well for there to be any chance of DD getting it and there has never been any ginger anywhere on my side of the family as far as I know. It would be a nightmare if DD has a different hair colour to DH and me - I would forever get accused of the milk man/window cleaner being the biological father
a bit like Prince Harry, who is definitely not Charles's biological offspring.
Janey- no, Royal London here.
OH has had a few comments from people about whether he's had a DNA test done!
How bizarre that people think they can comment like that on something so sensitive as questioning paternity straight to the Father's face! I hope he has a witty retort.
Obviously if I ever bump into Charles in Tesco I won't be mentioning it.
Ah yes. Bloke humour, it's a lot like rudeness. Doesn't seem to bother OH but I guess he's heard it enough times over the years that its a bit like me and short jokes.
Quick question ladies, my OH wants us to book an early private scan YAY! No idea how I find out prices/places etc though....any ideas? Google wasnt a huge help, should I call my docs and ask?
Mother I had one at one of these clinics. They seem to have locations all over the UK so there should be one near you. The one I had was a very good experience. Mine was a gender scan at 17 weeks but they offer early scans from 7 weeks onwards. If there's not one near you then just search Google for something like, 'private pregnancy ultrasound [name of your town]'
I had an early scan at 9 weeks due to bleeding and after they had established everything was ok it was absolutely lovely to see the baby at such an early stage. I didn't know quite what to expect but it looked like an unmistakable baby even at 9 weeks and was even moving around quite a lot which I hadn't expected.
Thank you fairy godmother cavort, I turned the cold tap on fairly fast!
No probs Merkin, it's probably a bit over-cautious but better safe than sorry.
I can't wait to get this baby out; I am going to have a scalding hot bath followed by a sauna and then sit in a hot tub until I look like a prune!
I still go to sauna, everybody back home does. A family friend is a well known obstetrician, so I asked her and she also said that it's fine, just to take it easy. They've done research in Finland - 90% of pregnant women continue to use sauna and the rate of neural tube defects (that sauna is supposed to cause) is very low.
Then it might just be that we're built differently in northern Europe
Hazle I can very much believe that you northern Europe lot are much tougher than us namby pamby Westerners.
As you say, evidence of problems caused by increased body temperature (much like the possible effects of alcohol in pregnancy) is quite limited and a source for debate. It could all be a load of complete tosh. It is known that fever in the mother can be catastrophic for the embryo, but that is obviously accompanied by illness which is bound to be less than ideal circumstances to allow an embryo to thrive, but artificially raising the core temperature of a healthy pregnant woman doesn't seem to carry conclusive evidence that it is definitely a bad thing.
Personally, I feel there isn't that much I can control in pregnancy but I can choose to avoid alcohol and hot baths which makes me feel I have some control over a (hopefully) healthy outcome, however ridiculous that sounds! It's only for a few months.
I went to a joint Baby Shower last night. I haven't been to one before and didn't quite know what to expect - I was dreading being made to play silly games
especially while sober, but it was fine and we all just had some food and a good man-free gossip. Five of us who were there are pregnant and one of the girls wanted to take a picture of all 5 of us in a row. This quite awful, cheesy picture has since made its way onto Facebook and I look absolutely terrible! To be fair, none of us looked great but I can't wait to get this baby out and get my body back!
Sure, we all need to decide what risks we are ok with and what not. There are way too many things that have not been proven to be totally safe, especially if you read US websites, pretty impossible to avoid them all.
I understand the frustration - ordered a pair of trousers, took them out of the package and thought that wow, those are massive! They must have sent the wrong size.
Nope. They fit.
I went to Primark yesterday to buy some PJ's and flip flops in case I have to stay in for a few days after the birth. I also bought a multipack of obligatory massive granny knickers and the sizing options were
8-10 no chance whatsoever 12-14 or 16-18. I thought I had better get the 16-18 as too big will be better than too small if everywhere is really delicate and they were only £2.50 for 4, but when I got home I put a pair on over my tights and they aren't too far off fitting now! I am distraught! They look like a parachute canopy, I really hope their sizing is wrong
Oh cavort I'm really laughing at your massive pants! Although wait a minute, you're teeny tiny and I'm usually a 12 - what size will I
Janey I am
in total denial gutted! I have never been skinny around the bum and thighs and have always had a sizeable shapely backside, but 16-18?!!! And DH's laughing didn't exactly help! I haven't told him yet that I intend to wax his chest ready for skin to skin with newborn DD. Revenge is sweet
DH doesn't get that "But you're fine! You're just pregnant, you'll get back in shape!" is maybe not the perfect thing to say. I am in shape! Round is a shape..
Just got back, bought a beautiful changing unit, Babybjörn bouncer and a baby gym second hand, all in perfect order and fraction of the price. Car seat ordered, Bugaboo arrived. Tons of baby clothes. So we're pretty much good to go and there's still 3 months left - a bit over-eager, isn't it?
Morning team elderberry
I am very grey. The bits that aren't are very very dark brown. Have had greys since I was about 15, but since being pg, they've taken over- prob 200% increase, all thru the top as well.
OH who is also very dark hair but has olive skin (I rock the twilight look), was yesterday lamenting a grey eyebrow hair. we're the same age.
DH found some white facial hairs over the weekend (on himself, to be clear), so it's not just us.
Hilarious Hazle - I honestly thought for a split second they were on you!
DP hasn't got any grey hairs - due to being much younger than me - but he does have dark brown hair, blonde eyebrows and a ginger beard (if I let him grow a beard!) so heaven only knows what colour hair babyjaney will have. I'm hoping my mousey genes will block out the ginge!
Janey- gingers are hot!!
Some are zombies, yes. One of my best mates at school was a stunning ginger, absolutely beautiful. Am only joking, as I genuinely don't mind one bit!
Have just had a startling realisation that two of my uncles on my dad's side are ginger.
Don't know of any reddy streaks on DP's side though...
And, thinking about it, have figured a way of figuring out what colour eyes Baby Bear might have. OH has brown, I have blue - but if I find out what colour eyes his mum has, might be able to work out if there's even a chance of a blue eyed Baby Bear.
In other news... am a very unhappy bear this morning. Just been told I start pregnancy yoga because of low-lying placenta. I need a GP or MW note. Not got an appt for two weeks, and then that's with the GP (who Im not sure will know enough). Am worried that I shouldn't be doing other things if I'm considered high risk for something as gentle as yoga, even though I've had no symptoms whatsoever.
Feel totally gutted and a little worried. And annoyed. It's ok for a sonographer to say 'oh there's this but it's nothing to worry about' but then you can't speak to anyone about this for 4-8 weeks. Was given zero advice. What if I should be resting? Is it ok to walk 4 miles a day to and from work?
<takes ranty self away and sits in corner>
Ahem that should be <can't> start pregnancy yoga.
<returns to sulky corner>
Next complaint - so as I can't find any decent work trousers here, I decided to order some from the US. I really like the secret fit ones from Pea in the Pod -the overbelly part is really thin and stretchy, not bulky under the clothes like many other brands. But they are almost exclusively available in regular and petite. I'm only 5'6'', but with any kind of heel, the regular is too short.
What do tall pregnant people do, pretend that all trousers are supposed to be ankle lenght?
Oh sorry Brave that's annoying. I have a low-lying placenta too and my doc didn't tell me anything about not being allowed to do things, and he knows I still do quite a bit of sports. Considering that I'm doing Bodycombat and go running, I would certainly hope that you haven't hurt yourself by just walking. Can you at least call your MW?
I have my next appointment (with ob-gyn who should know) in 2 weeks, so will ask again just in case.
hazle - I KNOW. I'm 5'11 and all my height is in my legs. I can't find anything, hence wearing short skirts and maxi dresses full time now.
Grrrrrr. Why can't they just make them longer - if they're too long for some they can just turn them up!
Oh and brave - what a nightmare. It does seem crap that you have all these issues raised but then have to wait ages for an answer. Sorry I can't be of any help but know nothing about it!
'I rock the twilight look' I LOVE that idea, me too! I never thought of my stupid dark dark hair and mismatched skin so pale half the GPs I've ever seen have though I'm anaemic as an asset before but now I know I'm not ill looking I'm vampiric, this odd combination is much more acceptable to me.
With the eye colour, I'm the product of a blue eyed mother and a dark brown eyed father and my eyes are neither, I think technically they would have to be described as hazle but they are an unusual dirty dish water mix of grey/green with brown bits. My eyes don't even match each other let alone my parents! My parents swear I'm not adopted so it just goes to show that with eyes you just don't know what you're going to get.
Thanks for indulging my whinge Hazle and Janey - comforting to know you're in a similar position Hazle but haven't been told not to do anything - mine was 8mm away from cervix so not that close. I just don't want to be a heffalump and am desperate to get some core stability back to support my hips a bit.
May just call midwife, but notes at home so will have to wait til tomo.
Purple I've always loved being a weird vampire, even though one of the barstaff in Greece kept taking the mick out of the fact that 'was it safe for me to be out in the sun' on my last holiday! Was rather funny, especially when I was still the whitest person on the island after a week of scorching temperatures. I also have very pointy canines (a family trait) which added to the effect somewhat.
I used to refer to it as 'snow white' but now Bella keeps sticking - not my idea - didn't help when I had very long hair, too!
The funny thing is, I used to always prefer the Edward types, but OH is absolutely Team Jacob in every way. I much prefer this now
My mum has hazle eyes and my dad brown, so it's weird that 2 out of 3 of their kids have bright blue eyes! Tho mine do tinge hazle in very bright sunlight and will probably grow more hazelly over time...
janey and while petite lenghts are readily available everywhere, tall sizes are almost impossible, even when not pregnant. All my shoes have 10 cm heels, I need longer trousers!
As for eye colour, both blue here. So even though it's possible, the chances to get anything else are slim.
Hang on Hazle so not only are you mega fit, you're also tall and still rocking proper heels - AND you're almost guaranteed a blue-eyed baby!
Granted though, finding proper length challenge must be a pain. You could just tell everyone yo're bringing back pedal pushers ahead of the summer catwalk season...
brave it's me that's the lanky twat. Hazle is a very reasonable 5'6. But she does have everything else in her favour! I've ditched heels because a) I'm well over 6 foot in them, which I like, but given bump it just makes me feel HUGE now and b) I'm way too clumsy to wear them whilst pg. I used to fall all the time before, sober and drunk, and don't want to risk it now!
DP and I both have blue eyes - looking like blue for our baby then do you think?
Hi ladies, I am so average, i'm 5 foot 6, size 12.....nothing overly distinguishable apart from big boobs.....34dd at the mo.
I booked an early scan for april 4th, i'll be nine weeks by then so fx it should be pretty clear.
I have dark brown hair and deep deep brown
almost black eyes. My OH has light brown/mousy hair, bright blue eyes and a very very ginger beard! So the babies colouring is anyones guess.
brave you're now picturing me as someone from Sports Illustrated, not quite. You've heard about skinny fat, people who are slim, but out of shape and not toned? I'm the opposite, I'm fit but
fat not slim. I was a toned size 10 at some point, but thanks to thyroid issues last year, more of a 14 before I got pregnant.
And just when I finally recovered from surgery, got the hormones sorted and was about to start serious sports and dieting, I got pregnant. So was already heavier than I'm used to pre-pregnancy and the extra baby weight is certainly not helping to feel fabulous either. Now reading about all the women whose babyweight just melted off in the matter of weeks after birth and keeping fx that I'm one of them (not likely). Sigh.
I am still in heels though
oh how ironic, just spoken to my MW and my first appointment is on the same day I booked my private scan for
Will be very exciting Mother! You should see the little bean and heartbeat quite clearly at 9 weeks.
cant wait don't think my OH will believe it till he sees it.
That's great news Mother definitely something to look forward to!
Mother I had a scan at 9+3 and was amazed at the development even at that early stage. Her stumpy little arms and legs were even wiggling around
Most babies are born with blue eyes irrespective of their eventual colour because melanin continues to develop after birth until babies are about two, so we are all probably destined for gorgeous blue-eyed bundles even if it won't last. I am blue eyed and DH is brown so we'll see which one wins
Brave I have never heard of a low-lying placenta preventing exercise. What you have is not classed as Placenta Praevia is it?
Same sometimes goes for hair as well Cavort, I was white blonde until I was about 3/4 years old then suddenly turned really dark by the time I got to school. Mum swears someone swapped me without her noticing!
I've had a few seriously shitty days in a row, normally I would be going home and having several large glasses of wine (and more cigarettes than normal to go with the wine) to deal with it. Oviously I can't do either any more and somehow chocolate just isn't the same, any suggestions?
Can't wait to hear how your scan went Mother, that's something really exciting for you to look forward to because that wait until the 12 week scan was the longest few weeks of my life so really glad you're getting to enjoy an early peek!
Actually I just remembered MIL telling me DH was very blond when he was a baby despite having nearly black hair now, so I wonder if ours could be? It would be very strange as both sides of the family are dark-haired so it might raise a few eyebrows
Hmm, that's a toughie on what cheers you up as a substitute for booze and fags. You're right, even chocolate just doesn't cut it the same. What about a nice nap? Probably not the best suggestion if you're at work, but maybe when you get in? I still see a daytime nap as a bit of a treat.
And failing that the only other thing I can think of to let off steam is an orgasm?
We were both white blonde when younger and are (darkish) blondes now, so there would be some explaining to do if DS has a head full of dark hair.
Purple, chocolate doesn't do it for me, but what about ice cream?
purple - I think cavort's advice is good.
Alternatively I sometimes 'treat' myself to tonic, ice and a slice in a nice heavy glass and pretend there's gin in it.
Or I go all french and have a fresh orange and tonic, yum, and one of my five! Or OJ and bitter lemon is good too.
Clearly not as good as a
bottle glass of dry white, but somehow better than just a ribena!
I had thick, jet black hair from birth (lots of it then apparently!) until about 7, after which it's got gradually mousier and finer. Lovely. Wish I'd just kept the black locks! I also used to be somehow darker skinned and would tan much more easily in my early twenties than I do now. Annoying.
I had black hair when I was born, then it all fell out and grew back dark brown. My OH was blonde and curly as a baby....dunno what happenened to him as he was a cute baby.
I bought alcohol free sparkling wine and fruit cider this morning as I need to fool people at this weekends birthday party.....fx I can pull it off!
Icre cream and an orgasm, right oh, good advice Berries, that should do the trick nicely I think, thanks
Nodnod to the big O if you can get it Purple! Do you have a fave food you can knock up? Failing that, a nice
not very hot bath might be good to chill with.
Hope you feel better soon...
My middle sister was born with black eyes. As in, really really dark brown (nearly black) eyes. They're now dark brown.
And I don't know about birth but I had hardly any hair for a really long time - my mum would call me 'her buddha' as I had a right sulky mush, as well. Now hairdressers marvel and shake their heads at the same time with how thick mine are.
Cavort unfiortunately the only option on the questionaire was 'low-lying placenta'. It is that, even though it's 8mm away (and almost certain to keep moving upwards). Evidently anything less than 2cm is considered low-lying.
I'm frustrated because I have had zero symptoms - no bleeding AT ALL this pregnancy (which I'm very grateful for) - but now I'm worrying that I've just been lucky and my little bear is at risk if I even look twice at a trampoline.
Plus I'm starting to feel a bit heffalumpy and craving exercise.
bear my mum said my eyes were navy blue when I was born but had gone brown within a week.
I'm on seafood diet this evening. I see food, I eat it.
Well OH is more than willing to help me eat the ice cream but I'm not feeling too hopeful for the rest of the plan. Oh well, Haagen Daaz can cure all ills right?
What is wrong with men sometimes, you'd think having a horny demanding woman is the stuff dreams are made of? But yes, there isn't much ice cream can't cure. I've just enjoyed some mint choc chip myself
Hazle my appetite has gone massive in the last few weeks. I am hungry all the time and if I don't eat for more then a few hours my stomach starts rumbling. I'm just going with it and trying not to stress about the weight gain but it's difficult.
I think my baby has hiccups. It feels really weird
On an interesting note, I have started reading my BF book and it says baby boys are usually born looking really well-endowed downstairs as this helps the bonding process with Dad who sees it and thinks, "That's my Boy, chip off the old block." It returns to a more proportionate size as the baby grows. Evolution is a genius sometimes!
I think the crazy appetite is a growth spurt thing, I seem to have a few days when I'm really hungry then it settles down again for a couple of weeks, it seems to coincide with people saying I've expanded so maybe your bump needs the ice cream to grow.
...maybe I should refuse to share my ice cream if he's not willing to give me what I want? It's pralines and cream and everything, mmmm. Yep the more I think about it, it's MINE. I'm just waiting for it to defrost enough to get a spoon in it!
Mmmm Ice cream... Well I'm at the opposite end of the scale today, or at least I was last night. Could hardly eat anything.
Pretty sure that won't last long tho
In other news, OH finally felt a kick this morning. Me: so dyu believe me now? Him: I thought it was a trapped fart.
Romance, you can't beat it...
Cavort, that book sounds interesting. What's it called?
I've read that too - something to do with the birth process makes the genitals swell. Apparently it applies to girls too!
Now, I know I shouldn't be complaining and so many women would give anything to be in my position, but can I just say that 9 months is too effing long! And I'm having a textbook, easy pregnancy. But still, it's not exactly comfortable, is it?
Brave I am reading The Food of Love. I've only managed one chapter so far but it seems good and has gone into much more detail than my ante-natal class possibly could. And it's quite light-hearted and funny.
My DH also asked if the first kick he felt was wind. Men!
Hazle I wholeheartedly agree. In fact it was already too long by the 20 week scan and that was only half way. And it's only going to get worse in the Third Trimester.
It's funny with the kicks - sometimes the little one is really jumping around, I tell DH to feel, he puts his hand on my bump...and DS immediately calms down, not even a flutter. Like magic. I just hope DH can keep the magical touch for later as well, taht would certainly be useful.
My OH seems to be avoiding going anywhere near my stomach, I think he's a bit freaked out by the whole kicking thing which makes me a bit sad as I thought it would be something exciting we could share together. As it is, I feel a bit as though I'm going through all this on my own stupid, useless bloody men.
I'm with you on pregnancy lasting far too long though, especially given that I can hardly walk already and it's only going to get worse as I get bigger, I just don't know how I'm going to manage so it's all a bit worrying. Doom doom and gloom, I obviously need more ice cream...did I mention I was having a bad week?
Ice cream helps. Until you step on the bathroom scale, that is
I am not looking forward to June, when it's likely to be roasting here and I'd be waddling around 9 months pregnant. Oh well, guess it's worth it.
I have reached the 1 stone milestone on the scales. The only thing making me feel better is Beyonce's revelation that she put on 4 stone and got on stage 3 months after the birth looking fantastic.
We are booking a holiday at the end of October, which will give me around 4 months to try to get my shorts to fit. Sounds like a bit of a tall order, I will have to hope the BF stories are true about the weight falling off!
Purple it sounds like you need a big 2l tub of ice cream (Purely medicinal of course)
Hazle mine usually has the same effect but fortunately this morning he was sleepy enough to be tuned in, and finally felt it. Usually though Baby Bear moves, opts for little kicks or goes mysteriously quiet!
Purple I thought mine was freaked by it too, but I think he just has his moments... and don't worry about it being your secret til then, I love having a running morse code commentary in my tum - I see it as it babbling away one of my friends said towards the end of her pregnancy she got really possessive and didn't want baby to come out because she would be jealous of other people sharing her bub!
I'm not that bad yet, but it's so normal now that I can imagine I'll really miss it. Have also started to pine for the fact that soon I won't have OH's chest all to myself to snuggle up into - I don't want to have to share it!
Now that's pathetic
I other news, morning sickness made a monumental return this morning. as quite a shock - especially as I now have a bump to navigate. Have been feeling very hormonal last few days so I guess that I'm going thru a spike. Bah.
Just got off the phone from a midwife re the whole low-lying placenta drama. I'm fine as long as I don't do anything excessive eg bike riding, bungee jumping.
But I won't be able to do any organised exercise as they won't cover me in case something goes wrong. Also can't go on holiday as won't be able to get a fit-to-fly certificate. I'm utterly distraught.
Oh no Bear! That sucks, do you want some of my ice cream? At least you can go swimming and walking without worrying but the no holiday thing seems daft.
I don't own any bathroom scales so am happily living in denial about my weight.
<takes a bowlful of ice cream from Purple's stash>
Thanks. Have now stopped crying enough to head to the office.
And I won't lend you my bathroom scales... they tell lies anyway
ohh did someone mention ice cream
On another note what happened to merkin?
Just checked and she's on the pre-graduated elderberry thread, still not sure if PG or not.
Poor merkin, I think she's in the hell of peeing on sticks every day and wanting darker lines/positive on all of them. It sounds OK to me with my non-medical background, but I remember all too well the trauma of POAS every single bloody day waiting for the sodding line to darken.... Fingers crossed for her!
I've put on 1 stone 2 lbs already cavort, and I'm a couple of weeks behind you. Waaaaaah. However I like to kid myself that because I'm so tall, so as a percentage of my overall weight gain I think it's probably the same. But I know that really is kidding myself, as the baby won't be that much taller/heavier too. I'm just a fatty.
I just saw that Janey, poor merkin, I cant really comment as I did the same to start with and freaked myself out. I posted to try and reassure her.
I will be the size of a small continent by the time I get to 20 weeks, I am hungry all the time, I get nauseous if I have an empty tum so am eating too much. Plus I want greasy naughtiness. I will turn into a blob at this rate! Need to start doing zumba again fmor something, I love Bokwa but its all jumping and Im scared
stupid I know that I will mess something up. Id love to take pooch for long dog walks but the weather is craps which puts paid to that Any ideas? Please dont say swimming as the thought of me wrapped in clingfilm in a swimsuit is terrifying.
Oh Brave that really is shit when it's something so common which is not causing you any problems and is unlikely to in the future.
Merkin's temperature is still up so no sign of impending AF. I reckon she'll be joining us fatties over here very shortly even if her line is taking a while to fatten up
I'll hit the next person who tells me that I should be doing walking, swimming and pregnancy yoga
I haven't tried bokwa but from videos it looks fine if you're used to it - I'm still doing tae bo and bodycombat, haven't shaken anything loose yet. Zumba is fun too. Bodypump is very good, but if you haven't done it, probably not the best time to start. What classes do you have in your gym? Spinning?
Raah I fear that swimming is my only 'fun' option left - but even then 'doing breaststroke' is apparently a risk as it stresses your pelvis and can create SPD/PGP.
May have to have a little booty shake to my Zumba vid in private if I won't be able to start any proper classes from hereonin.
Am trying to avoid all links that take me to the Daily Mail website now as the side bar is always full of some prego celeb flaunting it on a beach in a bikini. I was never much of a flaunter, but the idea of a bikini and bump amused me somewhat. Bah. Who needs a holiday anyway.
<pokes around in ice cream bowl for final feeling-very-sorry-for-self licks>
Mother if you're anything like me and most others, what you fancy now will have no bearing on what you fancy later. At one point I was down to just pringles and coke/lucozade. Now I'm loving fruit. And take the dogs when it's not raining - a long walk in the cold is great for burning
Fingers crossed for Merkin
And Janey and Cavort if the average weight gain is minimum two stone, and you're well over half way and only just tipping the stone mark, you're hardly heffalump harriets are you?
<though I know it feels very different when you're topside of bump looking down and wondering what it felt like to bend down without wedging huge lump of flesh somewhere>
Panic ye not! Tis all normal!!!
I have to admit that I really don't feel like I have put a stone on. If the scales weren't telling me otherwise I would guess that I had put on probably half of that. But it's for the greater good so I'm not too worried. My only concern is my recent increased appetite - I hope this doesn't mean I will pile it on in the last trimester. I don't know where this preoccupation with weight has come from. Before getting pregnant I
didn't give a toss hadn't been on the scales for years.
Brave can't you have a Staycation somewhere in the UK before BB shows up? Or maybe a nice Spa break? When I have been to Spa's there's always loads of preggos
waddling around relaxing and showing off their lovely bumps.
I think I've just read too many stories how women pile up massive amounts when pregnant and are never able to lose them. Hence the weight obsession. Does not mean I'm not eating ice cream, mind.