Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Graduated elderberries

(1000 Posts)
janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:24:59

Hello all..,
Let's clog up a brand spanking new club over here smile

(By hello all, I guess I mean hello hazle. Hopefully the others will join us soon...)

janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:25:29

Oh and you bel! Massive cross post on last thread blush

twinklestar2 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:27:58

Hope to be joining you soon smile

HazleNutt Tue 08-Jan-13 21:28:34

Hey just checking in - I'll go say hi in the other over-30 thread too, in case we won't have enough Elderberries just yet.

BelissimaLol Tue 08-Jan-13 21:29:34

Hello I'm here already. Call me lol janey. It's always been in my nickname and I like it grin
Think I'm the least pg of you allhmm. 12 scan on 22 jan.
Time. Does. Not. Move. Grr

BelissimaLol Tue 08-Jan-13 21:30:20

Hazle go and lure the nicest ones over here lol gringrin

janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:30:53

You're right lol. The first 12 weeks in particular were ridiculously slow. And I thought the 2ww was bad!!

janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:32:30

Haha lol about the nicest ones! Are we going to be a very discerning band of graduates?!

HazleNutt Tue 08-Jan-13 21:33:07

well time does not go any faster at 16 weeks either and I'm still convinced every other day that something is not right. Sigh..relax, as the doc said. Yes, obviously it's so easy, just relax.

janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:33:18

Oh and twinkle hope to see you here soon smile

BelissimaLol Tue 08-Jan-13 21:33:48

Haha I wouldn't go as far as saying by invitation only but you get my point grin

janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:34:43

Hazle I've found the last two weeks the fastest of all... Guess it could be because it passed in a blur of Christmas and new year chaos...

Wanders in and waves...

BelissimaLol Tue 08-Jan-13 21:45:49

Hello purple. 4 of us already grin

janey1234 Tue 08-Jan-13 21:49:45

Yay! Hi purple smile

Rache1S Tue 08-Jan-13 21:50:08

Ah there you are! I had a moment of panic that I would be lost in the cyber wilderness and end up having to chat to teenagers about babydust.

Shuddering at the thought of talking to teenagers about baby dust though I believe you need to go to net mums to truly experience that horror

Rache1S Tue 08-Jan-13 22:01:55

Purple have you ever wandered on to any American threads by accident? Babydust is nothing compared to how batshit crazy they all are!

Did any of you watch the Cherry Healy pregnancy documentary tonight? I recorded it as I am a saddo and was watching Stargazing Live and just watching it now through my hands.

Oh no rach and if I did accidentally wander into a thread like that i would back out slowly and quietly desperately hoping that none of them saw me!

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 08:17:04

Morning Graduate Berries - and I understand the need for a suitable forum/thread. I wandered onto a random pregnancy/new parent one once, where I first thought that the topics and replies were a bit.. odd and that I didn't quite click. Then found the thread "how old were you when you had your first child" and I swear, all the replies were in the range of 16-21. Not that there's anything wrong with being a young mum per se, but them and us often have very different world view indeed.

I don't think I could even discuss with them for example the topic that I just found a really interesing job opportunity, very tempting...but it's not really a good time to change, is it?
Current job is stressful, mostly due to my boss, who is not always totally reasonable in my opinion, to put it mildly. But I have quite a lot of independence here and am quite valuable, as I know how things work here and I know the industry. After the ridiculously short mat leave I could probably negotiate some working from home time, maybe a day or two per week; my commute is 10 minutes so could go home for lunch and so on. This might not be possible or at least not so easy in another company.

So starting a new job either 8 months pregnant or with a new baby is not the best option, is it (not to mention that they're unlikely to hire me due to that in the first place)? Should hang in there at least until I get a hang of that parenting thing and then see? But the opportunity is interesting..can you talk me out of it?

janey1234 Wed 09-Jan-13 09:08:46

I can't remember if I told you Hazle, but I was approached by a massive competitor media company for a new job, and despite TTC at the time went along to meet them. It went really well, and they decided to skip the second stage of the interview and go straight to the third and final round with me meeting the company MD. I would have LOVED that job. It was perfect for me, and so much more interesting and challenging that my current job, that I've been doing for a while. And I did think that I could put ttc on hold for just a few months to ensure I got full maternity pay there. But then I thought that it wouldn't be fair on them, or me. I didn't want to take on a big role to then desert them shortly afterwards to go on maternity leave. I didn't think that the stress of a new job would help with ttc or indeed being pregnant. So I was completely frank with them about ttc and not wanting to mess them around, and that much as I'd love the job I felt that it wouldn't be fair of me to take it. And I genuinely hope that a few years down the line they will remember me should another position come up. So for me, no, moving was not the right thing.

However, I guess it depends on how stressful your current job is. If you boss is a complete nightmare then it might be worth it; although remember that your new one could be even worse! Your commute to work and possibility to work from home does sound ideal (mine is an hour each way and they would NEVER agree to working from home I'm sure). I think I'd try to put up with it. But I'm a relatively cautious person at heart I guess - maybe you're more of a risk taker!

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 09:17:08

I might not be able to help you here Hazle because I'm not entirely convinced that you should't go for it. For as start, i'm sure anti discrimination laws apply throughout the whole of the EU so they would't be able to not hire you because of pregnancy (although obviously it might put them off and they would come up with a fake legitimate not to). I assume your Mat leave would be the same in the new job so as you said already, 3 months is not that disruptive to an employer.
Your baby won't be young forever but you probably have at least 30 years of your career left so it's important to do everything you can to make them 30 happy years which should also give you a happier child as Mummy won't be stressed out by her horrible boss.
It sounds like you will change jobs at some point but are totally understandably unsure about the timing. From talking to friends who have been there, it seems that changing jobs with a pre school child is just as hard. Why don't you go through the interview process to the point where they offer you the job and then decide if that time comes? You might have decided by then that it's not the company for you so problem solved.
Sorry my advice is probably rubbish!

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 09:24:28

Maternity pay not an issue here, doesn't depend on how long you have worked. Maternity leave also short, so if they would be willing to wait a few months, I could just start there.

But I'm thinking that even if Dh will be SAHD, having a few month old baby will be very stressful and having both new baby and new job at the same time might be a bit much, I would not be able to do either part properly.

Boss is a pain, but I'll manage and it could be worse. Especially as a colleague has just resigned and she knows that she can't afford to lose me as well.

Oh well - let's just hope we both find some similar opportunities at a bit more convenient time. Hopefully we manage not remind DC1 constantly about what we have sacrificed for them grin

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 09:41:33

crosspost Rach - indeed, I'm sure they wouldn't tell me they're not hiring me because of pregnancy.
I'm still thinking about it but probably leaning towards no - new job where you know nothing and nobody + a non-sleeping colicky teething baby does not sound that tempting after all.

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 10:42:16

Changing jobs is traumatic at the best of times and I personally would not want to do it at the moment. But if an opportunity came up which was too good to miss I would certainly be tempted like you smile

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 13:23:28

rach you were concerned about cs and interventions, right? I was just looking up some info regarding exercising and:

Research has shown that during labour, women who have done cardiovascular and weightbearing exercise during pregnancy:
- have a 35 percent decrease in the need for pain relief,
- have 75% decrease in the incidence of maternal exhaustion,
- have 50% decrease in the need to artificially break waters,
- are 50% less likely to be induced and need intervention in labour(less cases of fetal heart abnormalities,)
- have 55% decrease in the need for episiotomy and
-have 75% decrease in the need for forceps and caesarean sections.

Not bad. Ok, I'm sure some of the difference is down to fact that if you are allowed and able to exercise, you're generally healthier in the first place, but agreed to teach some extra classes, just in case smile

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 14:04:27

Wow, that certainly us an impressive list! I have already signed up to aqua-natal and am probably going to start bumpercise as well. I have also been recommended pregnancy yoga and perineal massage by a friend who says it really helped with the birth but I haven't found a local class yet. I am also doing lots of dog walking.
A better birth is a massive incentive but I also want to do all I can to stave off becoming a whale! grin

janey1234 Wed 09-Jan-13 14:10:24

Impressive stats hazle! I bought two pregnancy exercise DVD's yesterday; once they've arrived and I've tried them out I'll let you know what I make of them!

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 14:27:47

I guess I should get some special pregnancy DVDs at some point as well, but currently just doing my usual classes, will see how long I'll manage. I know instructors who were teaching Bodypump until the week before giving birth!

Am concerned about going to the beach even now, Greenpeace will probably come and help me back in the water..

BelissimaLol Wed 09-Jan-13 15:49:07

Personally I would not change jobs at this stage. For me it would be too much uncertainty at a time when work comes second. I value my career immensely and will continue to work on it after baby but am happy to take it slow in the meantime.
I'm 10 weeks today. Having nightmares about mmc hmm
I went back to Zumba this week and will go back to ballroom dancing after the scan. This is what I have always done. For the moment I'm not planning anything new.

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 18:56:28

I think if you were already exercising before getting upduffed then it's fine and probably much better to carry on as normal as much as you can. My DSS, who is in the Forces, was doing full PT and running 5 miles a day on a treadmill until she was about 7.5 months. It's just that I was particularly lazy between gyms when I got pregnant so that's why I'm joining ante-natal exercise classes. I have been having a few abdominal ligament/muscle issues lately whereby I get pain when I cough, sneeze or even stand up too quickly, so I'm hoping ante-natel classes will account for this (which I've asked Dr Google about and is common in pregnancy,) and will hopefully go a bit easy on my poor old abs!

I've been lent a couple of pregnancy exercise DVDs but haven't gone near them as I've been too ill. That's a whole nother story which may be a bit too long and ranty - I've had something of a day dealing with nhs nonsense.

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 21:27:56

rant away - pregnancy related illness or general?

Apparently there isn't a bloody difference Hazle!
I've had this nasty seriously snotty horrible cold since before Christmas I feel like hell. Went back to work Monday still feeling grotty by Tuesday night I'm sitting on the floor in the shower crying at the thought of having to drag my carcass to work so this morning I phone in sick for only the third time in 5 years (just to give context cos I'm not a wimp who calls in sick) so I phone the gp. So I phone and phone and get put on hold and eventually get through to a human just as I'm losing the will and say I want an appointment. All the spots for today have gone she says, that's fine I'll have an appt tomorrow. Oh no she says, you'll have to phone back at 8am tomorrow, then we'll get a doctor to phone you back and chat to you then they can decide if they want to invite you to come in to see them. Wtf? Seriously? I try to politely reason but this is a doctors receptionist we're talking about so get nowhere.

Hazle you're going to be sorry you asked, I'm not done!
So I tell OH who goes ape and phones the surgery to find out why they won't let his sick pregnant wife see a doc (he only calls me his wife when he's mad at someone on my behalf, we're not married) don't know what he said but he tells me they're going to phone me back so I guess he made his point.
A nurse eventually rings me, I explain I've been Ill and spent the whole of Christmas lying on the sofa that my nose has finally ceased dripping but that I am so exhausted I can't walk up the stairs without stopping halfway to rest and surely that's not normal after nearly three weeks of cold? She umms and aahs says she can maybe get a gp to ring me back. Why? So he can magically cure me via phone? She goes off to speak to a colleague then decides that since I'm pregnant it must be my mid wife's problem. Midwife only available 9.00 to 9.30 am I leave a message on answer phone as its now gone 10 some assistant phones back and says it sounds like a bad virus and being pregnant but info don't feel better in a couple of days to phone the gp again... ARGH!!!

No wonder the nhs is struggling for money if they're paying highly qualified nurses and doctors to phone patients back e very time they want an appointment. And what if the doctor deems they don't want to 'invite you to an appointment' surely you have a right to see a doctor if you want to?
Sorry I told you i would rant. I've a feeling I might be leaving my new gp surgery before I ever even see a doctor there!
Going to stop shouting now, sorry!

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 23:08:44

Shout away Purple. It sounds like you've been through the mill today and the last 3 weeks sad
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I think that farce is standard procedure at most GP's these days. It certainly is at mine. I also learned the hard way when I was phoned back and wasn't deemed serious enough to get an appointment the same day. These days I basically over-egg the severity of my symptoms in order to get seen the same day. I don't care what some bloody Triage thinks, if I think I need to be seen the same day then they can jolly well see me! grin I hope you feel better soon.

Bunnygirlie Wed 09-Jan-13 23:19:23

Just popping in to say hi and share a brew. Sorry again if I nudged you lovely ladies out. Hope all is going well with you all and hope some more of us can join this select club soon. x

But surely it's a stupid system rach? i didn't even want a same day appt just to see someone some time this week. Not to worry I'm going to sit on the sofa for a few more days and hope for the best!

HazleNutt Thu 10-Jan-13 06:37:50

"decides that since I'm pregnant it must be my mid wife's problem" - but you have a virus! If you break a leg while pregnant, will the midwife deal with that too? And how can they decide over the phone how serious it is - you only get an appointment if you claim to be dying, but if you're more modest and say that oh, just leg has fallen off, no big deal, I have another - then no?
Yes, that is a really stupid system.

Rache1S Thu 10-Jan-13 09:36:56

It is a very stupid system, as are most procedures in the public sector these days.
We would all get seen no problem if waiting rooms weren't full of the work-shy who are only there to get signed off again with their fake bad backs and stress.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 11:00:29

I'm here!! Just found the thread. Will go back and have a nosey through the previous posts....

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 11:07:47

purple that's horrible about your GP surgery. Mine have so far been so good. I was in a similar position-more than a week of flu/ cold, very bad shape. GP called me back on the same day and they then gave me an appointment for that evening (new year's eve!) and sent me for a scan as well the same day as I had had spotting!!
I must be the farthest behind on this thread, only about 6+4 or so. Terrified about Monday because they didn't find a heartbeat on the scan on the 31st (too early?) so asked me to have another scan on Monday. I guess if there's no heartbeat by then it's game over.

HazleNutt Thu 10-Jan-13 11:13:48

I wouldn't worry Zombies, 31st scan was just too early for heartbeat if you're only 6 weeks now.

Oh good luck for Monday Zombies! I'm afraid the worrying doesn't seem to stop even when you've had a scan though!

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 12:04:13

Good luck for Monday zombies! When I had my scan (7+6 I think??) before she even started she told me not to worry yet as sometimes they can be really hard to pick up at that early time...

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 12:08:12

Oh god, that doesn't even make sense. My brain is mush today!

What I meant was that before she even started, she told me not to worry if she couldn't pick up a heartbeat yet, as they can be really hard to pick up at that early stage.

Argh, feel like I'm going mad this morning! Keep missing whole chunks out of sentences (in work documents too) but thinking they make sense. If I start using the incorrect your/you're I'm going to have to kill myself.

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 12:21:06

AND I just went back to the chat we were evicted from. Argh, I can't help myself, I fear I am a little bit bonkers today.

HazleNutt Thu 10-Jan-13 12:36:15

Must be the weather or something, I don't feel like doing anything. Too bad it's not Friday yet.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 12:42:12

Thanks guys!
janey what chat were you evicted from?? thick question

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 12:46:27

Ha, our old elderberries thread. Just joking about having been evicted from it! x

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 12:54:42

Ah got it janey. silly me

HazleNutt Thu 10-Jan-13 14:24:30

About a totally different topic - any idea when UK shops usually get their summer clothes in? I need some maternity shorts and skirts for my holidays, but there's almost nothing available at the moment - would need to know if I should buy what I can find or just wait a week or so.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 14:31:03

Can't recall. Maybe April?

Saw some interesting cots here btw. Anyone consider a bedside cot?

HazleNutt Thu 10-Jan-13 14:40:27

Hm that's way too late, I was hoping that they would get something after the January sales..

As for cots - I do like the ida of those co-sleeper cots so you don't ahve to get up all the way every time, but we have a relly low bed, one of those Japanese futon style, so a normal cot would be too high. I think might go for moses basket initially and then a friend recommended to get a travel cot for bedside sleeping. And a proper cot only when the baby is ready to go to its own room.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 14:48:05

Don't take my word for it!! I actually can't recall. Maybe ring a few shops?

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 15:32:16

Now I'm not saying they're lovely, but I just googled maternity shorts and got these

In terms of cots, I'm thinking one of those co sleepers that doubles as a travel cot sounds like a very good idea for the first few months...

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 15:33:44

Oh and zombies, my friend who's 24 weeks with her second is getting this one. It's not the prettiest but apparently the other, prettier ones are very small so might only last a very limited time. Also that's one that doubles as a travel cot, so the one I was considering...

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 15:37:48

janey thought this sounded like a good deal. rental option

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 10-Jan-13 15:41:16
janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 15:46:13

Ooh that IS a good idea... To buy it new is £249 and I don't think that includes the mattress which is another £50 or something. And it is the nicest looking one... Good find! smile

Rache1S Thu 10-Jan-13 18:21:52

I was really proud of myself having pretty much made my mind up about a pram but now you've made my head spin thinking about cots, which I have put zero thought into so far!
I am going to use the bassinet from my pushchair as a moses basket as I want as little baby-related clutter as possible, but I haven't even thought about a cot in our bedroom. I suppose I thought the bassinet would do for that as well. I love the idea of co-sleeping but it also scares me as I have more than one friend who, having co-slept from birth, are now stuck with toddlers in their bed who refuse point blank to sleep on their own.

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 19:57:18

Yes but I think the theory of those co sleepers is...

You have Moses basket. Start off with good intentions. Baby doesn't sleep. You're getting up and down all night feeding. You're bloody knackered. End up falling asleep with baby in your bed as you're so desperate for sleep. And it becomes routine. Baby used to falling asleep surrounded by people and touching them.

Co sleepers. Baby wakes. You reach across to feed it, don't wake up as fully as you don't have to get up/ sit up / walk. When baby finishes you roll it back across to it's own part if bed, and put the barrier, and go to sleep. Baby in own bed. You next to it but not touching. Baby used to not sleeping on or touching people. Baby used to own bed. Voila!

Or, that's the theory anyway... hmm

Wow I'm impressed that you've all put this much thought into these things already, impressed and ever so slightly worried!

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 21:12:37

Ha I haven't put any thought into anything like this! One of my best friends is pregnant with her second and is planning on getting one, learning from her mistakes with her first, and told me about it...blush

Rache1S Thu 10-Jan-13 21:17:02

Purple we only started TTC in September, but I knew for a good year beforehand that this is when we would start so I have had a lot of time to think and envy everyone else with their babies.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Fri 11-Jan-13 08:17:16

hazle gap's spring collection is out. I just got an email smile

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 08:25:12

Hazle have you thought about just buying normal non-maternity summer dresses instead of shorts? The ones I've got generally aren't very fitted and would accommodate a bit of extra girth. Admittedly they might also be a bit thin on the ground at this time of year though. I also quite like www.mothercare.com/Blooming-Marvellous-Denim-Maternity-Skirt/LY5269,default,pd.html?singlehit=true which might be good for summer wear as well as with tights?

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 08:29:18

Oh excellent, thanks - for some reason Gap (at least the EU version that I can access) has decided that pregnant women don't need shorts or skirts for summer hmm but that must mean that others will bring the summer stuff out soon too.

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 08:31:01

rach thanks, I actually have plenty of dresses and yes, most of them will still fit fine. Just want a few pairs of summer trousers and shorts as well, in case we're doing some activities where dresses are not too practical.

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 08:41:31

I don't know what your thoughts are on second hand but there seem to be quite a few on eBay?

A lovely but slightly hippy friend of mine has given me a pair of maternity denim dungarees, which really aren't me at all. I think I'm going to have to wear them at least once so as not to offend her. DH thinks this is hilarious grin

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 09:10:34

grin denim dungarees are just one step from big flowery tents.
you know, like those:

No problems with second hand, will take a look. Or alternatively if I can't find anything in Europe, will ask my sister to bring me something from the States.

janey1234 Fri 11-Jan-13 09:30:53

Dungarees rache? I'm sorry, but that is hilarious. For us, anyway. But yes, you will have to wear them at least once. Can you post a picture? grin

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 09:48:13

I quite like that Hazle. It will take pride of place in my maternity wardrobe grin

For your entertainment I will post a picture of the ONE occasion that I am forced to wear them hmm They look like they should have a hoop around the middle like clown trousers. I will be gutted when they fit me!

Rach, theoretically I've had a long time to think about all this stuff too, but clearly I haven't! My watch words are 'we've got ages' and 'it will be ok' I'm sure in a matter if weeks I'll go from saying these calmly and rationally to chanting them hysterically to myself grin
My OH keeps telling me I should buy dungarees too, I have no idea why and its NOT going to happen. I forgive him his appaling fashion sense though as I'm lying in bed ill and he just popped home with a double sausage and egg mc muffin and a hot chocolate for me as a surprise. I KNEW there was a reason I agreed to marry this man grin

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 11:17:59

Purple you should tell your OH that you will buy the dungarees as long as he accompanies you in his onesie grin
I have done lots of thinking but no actual action. My baby purchases so far remain at zero. I want to find out the sex first - I don't intend to buy a load of stereotypical pink or blue stuff but I just think it will help to know when buying for it. My Sis is 29 weeks and still hasn't bought anything so you are not on your own!

I hope you're feeling a bit better? Your OH sounds like a good 'un. Can you get him to drop me a Dominoes off about 7pm? grin

janey1234 Fri 11-Jan-13 11:26:40

purple I LOVE your OH. He sounds awesome. Hope you feel OK-ish.

I haven't bought anything either. But strange things keep happening. Went shopping on Sunday (football was on) and entered Westfield with my usual excitement at a rare hour or two of shopping self indulgence, Christmas gift vouchers in hand. First shop I find myself in? Mothercare. Strange... Then last night, wandering along High Street Kensington looking for a birthday present for my best friend after work. First port of call? A very swanky baby shop. She doesn't have a baby.


I think it's his way of making sure I eat, aww it was nice of him though. Yes maybe I'll start buying when we know what we're having. I just think with some purchases if you start looking too early there's too much choice and you can obsess and send yourself mental with it whereas if you leave it til the last minute you'll walk into a shop and say 'that one will do' and be just as happy with it as one you'd spent three months scouring the Internet for writing copious notes and reading totally conflicting reviews on.
Alternatively I might let you guys obsess and research and then just copy one of you. I'm terrible I'm excited about the baby of course but the buying stuff? I genuinely can't be arsed, a cot is a cot right?
I'm aware this relaxed attitude is subject to hormonal imbalances and could change at any time!

Plus my mother is doing enough excited baby clothes shopping for the both of us, at this rate I won't need to buy any clothes at all. Oddly though almost everything she's bought is blue, now I'm not into gender stereotyping so blue is fine but does she know something I don't?

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 11:36:21

I haven't bought anything either, just browsing and reading reviews. And the advice here about what you really need, don't want to end up with tons of useless top and tail bowls etc.

Need to get the next scan done first to see if everything is fine. We also need to get a new car for DH - this baby will be expensive!

(Am quite tempted to get stuff in "wrong" colour just to confuse people - there are many experiments where people describe the same baby as big and strong if it's dressed in blue and tiny, sweet and beautiful if it's dressed in pink. Same baby. Ridiculous.)

Have annoying back pain today - I guess that's normal too?

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 11:38:15

Purple, proably just too early. According to pregnancy books, it's normal for us to go a bit crazy with the nesting instinct around 8 months and start obsessing over nursery curtains.

I've got to buy a new car too but am determined to enjoy my sports car until I absolutely cannot squeeze myself in and out of it any more!
See it's the reading and researching bit I hate Hazle, I'm nominating you my chief researcher grin you seem to be more organised than me. When's everyone's next scan?

Ah yes I don't doubt it will get me in the end but I can deal wit 8 months that's nice and last minute! Until I can't get what I want and end up weeping copiously of course.

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 12:17:36

My next scan is only on 19th of February - was supposed to be sooner, but had to postpone due to holidays.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Fri 11-Jan-13 14:20:31

So I can tell how far behind everyone else I am when are you all due?
Apparently mine is around 1 Sept.

janey1234 Fri 11-Jan-13 14:30:01

July 9th according to my dates, July 5th according to the 12 week scan...

My next scan is on the 23rd February I think hazle - the scary 20 week one....

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 14:35:47

Due around June 21st.

Due 2nd July according to 12 week scan. 20 week scan on 12th Feb.

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 15:47:58

My 20 week scan is 11th Feb and baby should make an appearance around 26th June.

We will also have a vehicle situation. We currently have 3 between the 2 of us and unbelievably none of them will fit the whole family in once baby arrives. Admittedly one of them is our beloved campervan which we are very reluctantly going to sell. sad It pains me to say it but we're going to have to get a 4x4 or an Estate which can fit both pram and dog in the boot. I would rather walk than get a People Carrier It makes me want to cry when I think about how much cost is involved in this baby!

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 16:18:29

That's exactly why we need a new car for DH - baby, pram and 2 big dogs. I already have a 4x4 (Toyota RAV4 that I love) but DH needs one too, as he will be the one mostly driving all of the abovementioned around and I hate his car, so won't swap.

Hmh a colleague just mentioned that I look tired, that it must be the pregnancy, right? It's Friday evening, of course I look tired! 4 weeks til holidays..

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 16:27:15

Yep, I always get Friday afternoon tiredness. And Monday, Tuesday, Wed......

My DH loves loves loves his car. If our house were to burn down he would rescue his car first, then his snowboard and then me. hmm I don't think I am going to have any joy getting him to swap it for a 4x4, and mine is a company car so I don't have much choice (and can't opt out to have a cash allowance instead), so it looks like we will be remaining a ridiculous 3 car family.

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 18:00:00

I think I just felt movement!!!
I could be talking absolute bollocks of course because it's still quite early at 16+2, but I just had a little power nap and was lying on my back having just woken up and I felt the strangest sensation. I can't even describe it but I have never felt anything like it before and I can't think what else it could be grin

Wow Rach that's so exciting!
We've got two massive dogs two grown ups two teenage boys who are both bigger than me a baby and a pram to fit in one of the cars. OH has a Honda CRV (would recommend if you're looking for a 4x4 type) which will fit all above mentioned people and pets in but think we would need to strap the pram to the roof cos it would be a squeeze as it is!
I'm getting a Honda civic for me and little one to tootle around in dogs not welcome! And selling my beautiful lovely hugely impractical sports car which if I could find a pram that fitted in the dinky boot would keep. I need to get over the car clearly.

Oh and if you're wondering about the proliferation of Hondas in our family OH is a mechanic and swears by them and won't buy anything else and I always think you can't get a better recommendation than that just for those who are looking at new cars.

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 18:52:30

Rach that's indeed exciting! I have had some odd feelings, like there are bubbles popping in stomach, but that could just be digestion as well, not sure..

What kind of dogs, Purple?

Yes, Honda is one of the possibilities and I had a Civic actually before the previous one, very nice car as well.

Insane naughty ones Hazle! I've got a 9 year old German Shepherd and OH got all jealous and demanded his own dog and bought a demented Czech wolf dog puppy who is about 18 months now and has practically destroyed the house. She'll calm down one day! What kind of dogs have you and Rach got? Are you worried about dog/baby? First thing Mil said when we told her the news was are you getting rid of the dogs. Free she clearly doesn't know me at all.

HazleNutt Fri 11-Jan-13 19:51:59

You can see mine if you click on my name, Rach has a pic too.
Mine are total mutts, dad is my parents' Irish Setter, mum is their neighbour's mixed breed dog. No, not worried at all, they are very calm and gentle dogs and should be excellent with the baby.

More concerned about our 3 cats - one is a bad-tempered madam and 2 others love to sleep in odd places, so I bet we'll find them in crib, push-chair, bouncy chair, changing table and so on. Have to hope kid is not allergic..

Aww! They're lovely! I've got two cats as well so it's a bit of a mad house really!

Oh and if the kid is allergic you just send them back, that's what my mum threatened to do with me if I was allergic grin she said it stood to reason that the last one in is first out and the dogs had been there longer!

Rache1S Fri 11-Jan-13 21:34:50

We have got a 6 month old Labrador Labradoodle cross who is currently teething. My house seems quite calm with just the one dog compared to the Zoo's you two seem to have! He is very placid and I think he will be absolutely fine when baby turns up but I don't think I would leave them in a room alone together just in case. You can never trust any animal 100% and it only takes one incident so I won't be taking the risk.

We have just been out for a meal and I was brave enough to broach the subject of DH changing his car to something more suitable. He was quite reasonable once he had stopped crying and said that he is willing to change it so long as I don't throw a spanner in the works with trivialities such as practical considerations and that he is still allowed to have something sporty.... but bigger. Goodness knows what that is but at least it's a start! If I am sacrificing my body and bladder control the least he can do is change his car for a while.

I'm really not sure about the movement now but it was certainly the strangest feeling. I really hope it was but I think i'll have to wait until it happens again to be sure.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Fri 11-Jan-13 21:47:04

purple I love your mum grin
I have a greedyguts lab.

See now I understand why I instinctively liked you guys, you're DOG people and everyone knows they're better!

Rache1S Sat 12-Jan-13 20:59:01

I had a bag full of miscellaneous crap gifts from work at Christmas which has been in the boot of my car ever since. I got it out today and in amongst the rubbish stuff was half a bottle of Baileys. I haven't really missed booze at all since getting upduffed but for the first time I could now murder a Baileys! DH might have to drink it to stop me thinking about it!

Well this is weird, I seem to be getting smaller instead of bigger. Laundry crisis today which happens when you only have one pair of jeans you can fasten and they need washing so I put on a pair I've not fitted in for WEEKS thinking 'I'm only in the house, I'll put a belt on and leave everything undone' and they fitted fine theyre not even tight. On closer inspection I've also regained a bit of a waist and apart from a big low sticky out tum look thinner than I have in ages. Weird, it's like the fat that was all over my torso has now congregated in just one place.

Rache1S Sat 12-Jan-13 23:48:04

Are you trying to make us jealous, Purple ? If so, it's working! envy <discreetly undoes zip in addition to top button>

Rache1S Sat 12-Jan-13 23:52:31

Oh, and DH agreed tonight that we could get a private gender (and wellbeing) scan, so I went online and booked one before he had even finished speaking and before he had chance to change his mind. We're going on Thursday night grin

Woo hoo Rach! That's so exciting!

Now who is making who jealous? grin

HazleNutt Sun 13-Jan-13 09:31:33

Oh that's so exciting!

HazleNutt Sun 13-Jan-13 09:45:25

Ladies, have you got your flu shots or what are you planning to do about it? I usually don't - not being anti-vac or anything, I just never seem to catch any viruses or bugs going around, not even when DH does, so I haven't bothered. But we're going to Puerto Rico and it's full of Americans, who currently have this massive flu epidemic. So I should, right?

Rache1S Sun 13-Jan-13 10:26:13

I had a flu jab at 8 weeks on the advice of my Midwife who said better safe than sorry. I too rarely get ill and didn't see the point in giving the baby unnecessary chemicals but was convinced it was completely safe and for the best. I will have the same dilemma with the Whooping Cough vaccine in the later stages.

I with I was going to Puerto Rico envy I have just booked a mini-break for DH, me
and the dog in May when I will be about 34 weeks..... in a static caravan in Cornwall hmm

Rache1S Sun 13-Jan-13 10:26:54


I haven't had a flu jab yet, not because I made any kind of decision about it but because I hadn't got round to it but after seeing how much this cold knocked me on my arse I might get it done now. I wish I was going on holiday to anywhere even Cornwall!

janey1234 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:06:48

I had it, as I was ttc so thought it was a good idea when they were giving them out for free at work. I never get ill either but thought it was sensible. I got my BFP about three days later!

I'm being a grump today. My DP is off on a jolly skiing for a few days in two weeks time, and I'm taking the opportunity to go and see my nan, folks and family. My very lovely cousin (GP) has offered to borrow some kit from work so everyone can hear the heartbeat. I've said no though because a) I do not want to get my belly put in front of parents, aunties, cousins, uncles and my nan when it looks this awful and b) what if there's something wrong? If anything does go wrong I want DP to be with me, and not to have a massive audience there. I know the odds are minuscule but what would I then do - call DP in Switzerland to tell him? Be comforted by people who aren't my DP in the interim? I know the odds are so slim of anything going wrong but having had something go wrong against the odds before (mmc at 12 wks having heard the heartbeat at 9) I can't help but worry. I think everyone in my family now thinks I'm being silly and making a fuss, but the thought of anything going wrong is terrifying enough, but finding out without DP fills me with dread.

Am I being totally ridiculous?

HazleNutt Sun 13-Jan-13 19:27:55

No you're not ridiculous. I'm not even so much thinking about something actually being wrong - chances are so small by now. But you'll find many stories if you google about how even experienced midwives or docs simply can't find the heartbeat even at 18-20 weeks (even though everything is really fine), so you'd be massively stressed if this would be the case. Your belly, your choice!

I think that's perfectly sensible, why risk panicking yourself over potentially nothing if you can't find the heartbeat.
I'm usually very rational and not prone to panic but pregnancy does bad things to you and there's a voice on the back of my brain locked in a cupboard pounding the door shrieking 'why are you thinner! The baby is SHRINKING, PANIC!!!' But I'm ignoring her and not letting the silly cow out of her cupboard. Even my SIL said I looked skinny today.

Rache1S Sun 13-Jan-13 21:14:20

You're not being ridiculous Janey. It's your body and only you decide, so whatever makes you feel most comfortable and it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
On a side note, my daily amateur dopplering finds the heartbeat about 3/4 of the time and I hear the placenta 'beating' every time. I find a full bladder helps, as does hilariously clenching the buttocks - I have no idea how this second one makes it easier to find but it definitely does somehow!

I went to John Lewis today to look at the Uppababy Vista pram/pushchair. The sales lady was very helpful and gave us a full demo.... and then proceeded to do the same with about 5 others, all of which looked very good. So I am now back to square one with no idea which one to buy! I have brain ache! confused

HazleNutt Sun 13-Jan-13 21:53:58

I just saw that we have a baby stuff flea market organized in our very own village at the end of the month - first one ever, how lucky is that? It's a very small village, there are about 10 kids born each year, so I don't think there will be a massive selection. But we don't know anybody with small kids here (we only know other dog owners at the moment grin), so probably a good place to meet other local parents and chat about nannies and things.

Are you all planning to go to some anti-natal classes? Apparently also a good place to meet other new parents.

Only problem I have with classes is the ones in my area are run by sure start/ children's centres and unfortunately I'm one of the people that go and give talks to parents to be. Could be a wee bit weird for me if one week I'm in the audience and the next I'm standing up giving a presentation!

HazleNutt Mon 14-Jan-13 09:31:03

purple that's intersting, what do you teach there?
But I think think it's weird - even if you weren't pregnant, it would be totally understandable to go and see what others are talking about, so you don't contradict each other if you have overlapping topics or so you can offer alternative viewpoints. If I was a participant, I would not find it odd at all.

Rache1S Mon 14-Jan-13 13:52:53

I'm off to see the Midwife at 3.30 - absolutely dreading the weigh in. I even thought about skipping lunch but decided against it and pigged out instead.
I assume she will ask me about a birth plan? Or does that come later? If she does ask, my birth plan currently stands at: REMOVE BABY AS FAST, PAIN-FREE AND SAFELY AS POSSIBLE BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!

janey1234 Mon 14-Jan-13 14:21:46

Is this your second appt rache? Mine asked about a birth plan at the booking in appt, and said if I wanted to talk to anyone about an elcs (still totally undecided) I need to tell her at my 16 wk appt so I can be referred to a consultant. I wish we had longer to think about this stuff!

Good luck re weigh in - I'm to scared to use my own scales hmm

Rache1S Mon 14-Jan-13 15:12:46

Yes second appointment. She only asked where I wanted to give birth on the first so I assume she'll ask now.

Rache1S Mon 14-Jan-13 16:17:37

Nope, no mention of birth plan. She said we'd discuss it at 25 week appointment so I have got another 7 weeks to swot up on types of pain relief!

No weigh-in either grin She said it's not required unless I want it, which I really don't and would much rather remain in denial!

She had a listen to the heartbeat, which reassuringly is the same sound as what I'm hearing on my home doppler and means I'm not accidentally marvelling in awe at the sound of my dinner digesting. She also said that the only reason I can detect it myself this early on is because I have very little belly fat.... I am starting to really like this woman grin

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Mon 14-Jan-13 16:32:10

Guffaw at "accidentally marvelling in awe at the sound of my dinner digesting"!
Re low belly fat, that's not something I am likely to hear!!
Had my scan today, there was a heartbeat! Must not get ahead of myself but made me really happy smile

Rache1S Mon 14-Jan-13 16:36:52

Awww, Zombies it's such a massive relief isn't it? That's great news! Welcome to the post 12 weeks ever so slightly less neurotic club grin

Rache1S Mon 14-Jan-13 16:41:03

Oops, I've just engaged my brain realise I don't think you are 12 weeks yet are you? Anyway, once the heartbeat has been detected at any stage you're pretty much home and dry grin grin

HazleNutt Mon 14-Jan-13 16:41:29

Excellent news Zombies!

janey1234 Mon 14-Jan-13 18:04:00

Ah zombies, that's brilliant news!


Rache - urm I'm not sure anyone is going to be saying that to me in the near future hmmJealous!

Yay Zombies! Great news.

Rache1S Mon 14-Jan-13 21:55:28

She's either blind or all the rest of her patients must be obese if she thinks my belly is fat free!

Pfff tried to go maternity clothes shopping and it's not going well. Went to H&M and New Look and between not much stock (only a small town so not huge stores I guess) and my midgety legs I can't find anything! If I wanted skinny jeans in a 30 leg I'd be fine but I can't wear slim leg trousers (legs like chicken drumsticks, not a good look) and I'm only 5 ft tall and I can't tell you not much of that is leg!

HazleNutt Tue 15-Jan-13 08:29:20

Oh I hear you Purple! I have chunky strong legs and pregnant or not, the fashion in past few years has been driving me nuts. Skinnies and leggings only, 300 pairs in any random shop. I look like I have carrots instead of legs if I wear skinnies and in all honesty, so do most people wearing them (except probably for our fat-free Rach). What's wrong with straight or bootcut trousers suddenly?

Judging by most maternity shops, all pregnant women should wear leggings and tunics. Not a flattering look if you have massibe boobs and chunky legs, let me tell you!

Rache1S Tue 15-Jan-13 09:48:52

Fat-free I wish! I do generally have a flat(ish) stomach which is probably never to be seen again, but I have a big bum, hips and upper thighs and small boobs in proportion to the rest of my body, so I am totally hearing you about the skinny jeans and leggings problem. Winter is not so bad because I wear skinny jeans with chunky boots to even things up at the ankle end, but Summer is difficult. I look ridiculous in skinny jeans and ballet flats. These things go in cycles so surely it can't be that long before much more flattering boot cut comes back? I think we should start a campaign grin

P.S. What about these shorts?

HazleNutt Tue 15-Jan-13 09:54:16

thanks for the link, I actually ordered some from US shops to my sister's place - she lives in the US and will come to Puerto Rico as well, so I should have at least something to wear.

janey1234 Tue 15-Jan-13 09:54:50

My legs used to be my only redeeming feature. I'm v.tall and all my height is in my legs. They're longer than Julia Roberts says her legs are in pretty woman dontchaknow. (I know that because I pervy English teacher measured my legs in a lesson in front of the class when I was about 16) And I used to be slim. But over the last year or so the weight has crept on (DAMN being in my late 30's) and since I stopped cycling to work due to being knocked up (not worth falling off a bike when pregnant) they've totally lost all tone. Even my knees now look fat. So my old favourite of skinny jeans is out the window. I ordered a black maternity pair yesterday in the vague hope the black slims me out a bit, but I doubt it. If they look awful, I have literally no idea what I will wear. I can't spend all of my pregnancy in mini skirts and thick black tights, as I have done so far?!

One TMI thing. I am sick of being vaguely constipated. I never suffer with this, and despite always having a bowl of all bran or a handful of dried apricots before I leave for work, and eating about 6-7 portions of fruit and veg a day, and drinking at a very minimum 2 litres of liquids, things are not working properly. Any tips?!

janey1234 Tue 15-Jan-13 09:55:57

Ooh rache I like those shorts! If only my knees weren't so fat sad

Rache1S Tue 15-Jan-13 10:15:15

What will we all wear? Dungarees!! grin hmm

Janey I was completely regular until going on holiday at New Year but have been struggling a bit ever since. I am also eating and drinking all the right stuff so it has to be hormonal. It's not bad enough to go to the Doctors yet but I suspect they will just prescribe Lactulose, which is both disgusting and not that effective, so I think I may be just stuck with it for the duration. Oh well, only 162 days to go sad

HazleNutt Tue 15-Jan-13 10:24:57

Same problem here and fibre or apricots don't have any effect. This seems to help a bit, have you tried?:

But what are we all going to wear!
Rach dungarees would be no good, legs would be too long on me wink

Well my legs may be crappy but my guts are fine...so far so I suppose you can't have it all you leggy ones!

Rache1S Tue 15-Jan-13 18:40:53

I popped into H&M today at lunch and got some maternity shorts in the sale for £7. I obviously don't need them for months but I figured I will probably still be in maternity clothes for the whole of the Summer, including after the birth so they would be a worthwhile investment at that price. I'm afraid this means I have inevitably doomed us all to yet another miserable Summer smile

So when is the 'blooming' bit supposed to start then? Because so far I look pale and a bit unwell, there is no bloom around here. I was led to believe I should look a rosy cheeked picture of health and loveliness so where is the glow?

HazleNutt Tue 15-Jan-13 19:42:00

I guess if you go by some bit older standards, you know "big, strong girl. can carry an ox under each arm" then I'm certainly a picture of loveliness grin

Rache1S Tue 15-Jan-13 20:41:04

The only part of me that is 'blooming' is the hair on my legs which seems to be growing faster than I can keep up with it. I will be like a Yeti once I can't reach over the bump. That will be nice and attractive in the aforementioned shorts sad

I don't know anyone who has bloomed in pregnancy other than those mythical perfect women in the pregnancy magazines and Sunday supplements. I don't think much blooming goes on, just that some women don't look as rough and miserable as others grin

HazleNutt Tue 15-Jan-13 21:16:30

interesting rach that you mention that, I was just thinking today that how odd, body hair has pretty much stopped growing. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I wonder if there's anything behind the old wive's tale that if you're hairy, you're having a boy?

Well there doesn't seem to be any validity to any of the other old wives tales so I'd be surprised!. I've always been a bit of a werewolf so I haven't really noticed any change.
My next question is, if mini monster is apparently approximately the size of an avocado then why is my stomach the size of a small planet?. It would seem the incredible shrinking baby/skinny issue was a fleeting two day calm before the storm and now my stomach has erupted outwards overnight and I'm HUGE..

Oh and I have actually seen one of these mythical glowy pregnant ladies in real life so they do exist. She was the same shade of zombie grey/green that I went and magically a few weeks later looked all pink and healthy with swishy shiny hair.

Rache1S Tue 15-Jan-13 22:36:49

I was reading a thread on here where loads of pregnant women were saying their body hair growth had slowed right down but mine is most definitely growing faster then ever. We will hopefully find out the gender on Thursday night but I am pretty convinced mine is a boy so maybe there is a shred of truth in the old wives tale?

I really hope the glowing stage does exist and will give me something to look forward to rather than looking in the mirror and seeing a really rough and haggard version of me looking back. And then I turn to the side and depress myself further with a glance at my Buddha-like side profile.

I agree the football belly does seem excessive at the moment to house an avocado. I think I might be pregnant with a watermelon or maybe a pumpkin?

Ooh I can't wait to find out what you're having I wish I didn't have to wait until February. I think technically you've got an avocado too (you're about 16 weeks aren't you?)
Why is it that maternity clothes make you look MORE pregnant too, you'd think they would hide it better than normal clothes but it seems to be the opposite.

Rache1S Tue 15-Jan-13 23:04:33

Ha ha, yes i'm 17 weeks tomorrow so I will be carrying an onion apparently. I meant my belly looks like i've eaten a whole pumpkin or possibly a space hopper grin

Yes maternity clothes seem to make you look much further along, which might not be a bad thing as we are all entering into the is she pregnant or just fat? stage. Anything which makes me look more pregnant than fat is ok in my book!

HazleNutt Wed 16-Jan-13 08:45:54

One of those mornings, have convinced myself that there must be something wrong. Any reason to think that - of course not. Just the usual - shouldn't I have more symptoms, all books say I should be having this and feeling that. Shouldn't I look more pregnant by now? Shouldn't I...well, you know the drill. Sigh. Next doctor's appointment on 29th only.
And of course suddenly all papers and internet is full of stories where parents discover some not compatible with life conditions at 20 week scan..

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 09:05:37

If I'm having one of these regular moments of neuroses, the only way I can make myself feel vaguely better is to ask myself what I can actually do about it? And the answer is a big fat nothing. The lack of control somehow comforts me which I know sounds barking mad. It will be a total shitter to get bad news but this baby's destiny is already set out so it's pointless torturing myself with worry about things over which I have no control. All I can do it carry on with as healthy a lifestyle as possible and keep everything crossed. Despite all this though I am still very much in the niggling worrying camp and I suspect I will be until the end.

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 10:19:29

I'm with you both, hazle and rache. I vaguely relax from time to time - by not thinking about it - but then start to worry again. For example, am now starting to worry there won't be a heartbeat at my 16 week appointment on Tuesday. I know the odds are that there will be, but like you hazle I'm pretty symptom free (except sneezing blood, feeling a bit fat and toilet issues! attractive!) so it's sometimes hard to believe that I really am pregnant....

I'm quite glad we have our own thread now btw, it's lovely to be able to worry and moan and obsess excessively without worrying about our ttc chums. Having said that I hope some of them are able to join us soon...

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 11:03:33

Has anyone else got a burning desire to start buying? I have bought zero so far but I can feel it brewing and have written a list. I have been dead against buying anything previously as I felt it was bad luck but I have suddenly gone completely the other way! Practically speaking, we're weeks away from being organised enough to store baby purchases as the baby's room is still an undecorated wilderness, but I'm not convinced my will power will hold out long enough to decorate it and buy storage furniture, especially after finding out the sex tomorrow. I will just be making my life harder by trying to decorate around a load of baby stuff!

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 11:07:32

Ha, yes Rache. I keep finding myself in mothercare or cute little kiddies clothes boutiques. And we're miles away from being ready for stuff: we're thinking about getting our loft converted (are we mad?!). Lordy knows why - we've got a three double bedroom/two bathroom house for the two/three of us, but somehow the thought of having an extra bathroom and bedroom is very appealing! The hall is also in the midst of being decorated, but that's on hold until we decide about the attic. I'm assured it can be done in three months from start to finish (and 7 weeks build time) but really, what are we doing?! At least it's put my baby purchasing on hold for a short while...

How bloody exciting you're finding out the sex tomorrow! Any thoughts at the moment? If you had to guess....?

HazleNutt Wed 16-Jan-13 11:11:32

I'm certainly checking. I use a local expat message board and people often sell baby stuff there - so yes, it's quite tempting. Someone just posted a whole bundle of newborn clothes for sale..
I'm not buying anything big like furniture or the bugaboo before the 20-week scan. Will go check out the village babystuff fleamarket though.

Janey are you having an additional scan to find out the sex as well?

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 12:09:01

I'll have the NHS scan at 20 weeks, but don't think I want to find out the sex then, and have just about persuaded DP the same. I don't know why, but I think I'd like a surprise on the day... So it's 5 weeks until I have that. Nuts that at that point you're half way through: even though time is going ridiculously slowly, it doesn't feel like I should be nearly at the half way point already, if you see what I mean.

I think I will probably start buying stuff after the 20 week scan too. That should leave plenty of time I think?

Do you all think we're crazy about the loft conversion? I'm very lucky and my folks are fab, so I know they'd move down to oversee things during the day and help keep on top of things, so I'm hoping it wouldn't be too bad.

Also busily trying to convince DP that a) we should fork out for air con in the main loft bedroom for those four nights a year it's necessary in London and b) we should move up there and have the second bedroom as a dressing room. I think he's more keen to have it as some kind of xbox room...

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 12:36:13

I'm so glad it's not just me! Janey it doesn't sound like you particularly need the loft conversion at the moment, although it would probably be a useful addition if you were to have another baby in the future, and everyone bangs on about how they add tons of value to your house smile

I am really starting to think we should of moved house before this baby rather than deciding to wait until afterwards. We still live in the house I owned before meeting DH. DH went self-employed 2 years ago and with the economy/housing market being what it is we didn't think it was the best time to be moving/getting a mortgage. Also, DH has a house which he rents out but needs to sell it this year before we can think about moving. We have 3 bedrooms but DH currently has a home office in one of them and we have DSD staying 1 or 2 nights a week so things really are starting to get a bit cramped! I want a bigger house to fill up with cute baby stuff! grin

I am a bit nervous at finding out the sex. I don't even know why as I'm desperate to know and have paid for this scan specifically to find out! I suppose if I'm completely honest I would like a girl and, while I think I will be fine if it's a boy, i'm still worried about being disappointed if/when it's confirmed that it's a boy.
If there's any substance in the skull and nub theories then it is a boy.

HazleNutt Wed 16-Jan-13 12:43:27

No Janey if you have the option, go for it. Always nice to have more living space. Better start soon though, you don't want to risk that the building works take longer than predicted (as they always do) and you'll have buliders running through the house while you're trying to breastfeed a newborn..

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 15:09:59

Yes, we've given ourselves two weeks to decide. Finances are all sorted, so we're just getting various quotes and working out generally how affordable everything will be if I do take a whole year off. Part of the reason for me wanting to do it is that it's been my house for 8 years, but only DP's for a few months, and he really wants to do it. All the house was finished when he moved in except the hall, so it's all my choice/taste and feels like my house. This will give him the chance to make an impression on our house, and put some money into it to properly make it ours, IYSWIM. Plus I don't think we'll ever regret having too much space?

Rache I always really wanted a girl too, but for some unknown reason I think I'm having a boy! The only thing I think about having a boy is that the first time I was an aunty it was to my nephew, and I am still completely besotted and in love with him five years later. If my son was half as lovely/perfect as he is I know I'd adore him, so having had such a brilliant nephew has made me feel that having a son would be pretty damn good too... But if he wasn't as bloody gorgeous as my nephew, I'd much prefer a girl wink

Not sure about the skull theory, tell me more?

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 16:04:45

Skull Theory
I have put my 12 week picture up so maybe you would like to have a guess?

I don't even know why I would prefer a girl. It's totally irrational.

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 16:46:43

I guess it looks like a boy according to that theory - but my scan looks exactly the same! Pretty flat from nose to chin. So either the theory is rubbish, or we're both having boys!

The only thing I find tricky is that there are loads of girls names I love, but only a few boys names that I like...

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 16:47:05

ps scans are properly cute, aren't they...

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 16:50:39

I have just fallen down the stairs.
Bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Shit. Fuck. Bollocks. sorry blush

I obviously wasn't worrying enough before and needed to add something else into the mix. And DH is away in Scotland tonight sad

Baby's heartbeat seems normal on the doppler but thank goodness I have the private scan tomorrow.

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 16:53:43

I don't think the skull theory is an exact science so it may well be rubbish but will hopefully find out tomorrow. I can't think of any names I love in either gender. There are plenty that I like but none jump out as being THE one.

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 17:35:33

Oh my god rache, are you OK??

Thank god for the doppler! I honestly think all will be fine, our bodies are built to protect the bump more than us, but what a horrid worry. Have you hurt yourself?


Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 17:49:02

I am ok Janey. It was about 5 stairs and I was a bit winded when I landed at the bottom but luckily my arse is quite cushioned smile I reckon I will be on the doppler several times before the night is out though.

I am a total clutz sometimes. I fell down stairs last year and broke my foot in 6 places [moron emoticon]

janey1234 Wed 16-Jan-13 18:00:17

Me too rache. Ridiculously clumsy. DP is CONSTANTLY telling me the floor is slippery, or icy, or that there's a bump in the pavement. Not that it helps, I seem to fall over thin air sometimes...

Glad you're not too hurt. Am sure all will be fine, but yes, thank goodness for the scan tomorrow. And then you can tell me if the skull theory has worked for you! Am intrigued....

Good job you fell on your arse and not your fat free belly wink envy

Gosh glad you're ok Rach and at least it was well timed with your scan I suppose. I would like a girl, I know I'll love either and it doesn't really matter bit because OH has already got a 13 year old son I really want it to be a girl so we're sharing something completely new together. I know it's a silly idea but somehow it seems important to me. I'm sure when it comes down to it it won't matter either way though.
We too are supposed to be embarking on a loft conversion but my OH wants to do it himself, he is pretty handy but I sense this means it will be finished possibly in 2015 so am understandably freaking out about it. We really could do with the space though.

HazleNutt Wed 16-Jan-13 21:31:43

Oh that must have been scary Rach, glad you're ok. And don't panic if you simply can't find the heartbeat!
We want to hear about the scan asap!

Rache1S Wed 16-Jan-13 23:23:28

Thanks ladies. I have nearly flattened the batteries on the doppler tonight, I'm so glad I had it or I think I would be freaking out.

Scan isn't until tomorrow night but I will let you know if we're in the pink or blue camp smile

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Thu 17-Jan-13 00:11:50

rach glad you're ok!! All the best for the scan tomorrow!!

Rache1S Thu 17-Jan-13 09:22:00

Aargh, I have only just read properly what tonight's scan includes: well-being checklist, sexing of baby, thermal b/w images, 4D FREEVIEW!!! (with lots of extras available to buy at additional cost! shock) I could be bankrupt by the time I get out of there! I must start start mentally preparing to resist the urge to buy absolutely everything available....

What time is your scan Rach? just so I know when to start hanging around waiting for an update! (stupidly excited on your behalf!)

You know how you always see those threads about stupid comments people make to pregnant people?...it has begun!

I didn't get all huffy and offended like other people seem to but in the space of one day was told by one group of people "Oh my gosh, you're TINY! are you SURE there's a baby in there? I look more pregnant than that when I've just had a big meal, you just don't look pregnant at all!" and then a matter of hours later, a different group of people "Oh my word, you're HUGE! are you SURE there's only one of them in there? Seriously, you look like you're having TWINS!" hmm
Now the first group were Mums, most of which are pregnant with or have just had their 2nd child, the second group were people who haven't had children. Who do I believe? I found it so funny!

HazleNutt Thu 17-Jan-13 12:16:11

I've also noticed that the reactions from parents and non-parents have certainly been very different. From most non-parents I get a flat "congrats then". Parents- even if they are just random colleagues who have found out - squeal and hug me, ask daily how I'm doing and tell me all about their own experiences. Honestly, it's like becoming a member of some secret club..

I've kind of given up telling people, I mean, they're all going to notice in the end anyway right? I just couldn't get my head around telling people that I didn't expect to give a damn so I told all the people I like or that I thought might be interested and the rest? Well, they're going to be giving me funny looks as I walk down the office for a good few more weeks yet before one of them dares to ask I'm guessing grin

Oh and I was wearing size 8 jeans yesterday when the 'not mums' were telling me just how enormous I am, now the jeans may have been tight enough to be permanently altering the shape of my bone structure but I still say that makes their cries of 'heffalump' a tad over the top so there.

HazleNutt Thu 17-Jan-13 19:32:57

So? Rach! We're waiting here!

Rache1S Thu 17-Jan-13 19:52:10

It's a girl! grin grin grin I'm over the moon grin
It was one of the best £79 I have ever spent! The scan lasted about half an hour and we got loads of pictures and some free 4D pictures so I managed to resist buying up all the extras. grin I was a bit dubious about the 4d in case she looked all skeletal but is was fine and really lovely to see, even at 17 weeks.

Purple I wouldn't even fit one leg in size 8 jeans even without the baby on board envy

HazleNutt Thu 17-Jan-13 19:54:28

awwwww massive congratulations! thanks thanks thanks
And envy of course

Aww congrats Rach I'm so thrilled for you! And ever so slightly envious of course.

Rache1S Thu 17-Jan-13 20:40:14

Thanks Hazle smile

I was so convinced about it being a boy. Kinda blows the skull and nub theories out of the water unless I am just crap at interpreting them.
We nearly didn't get anything at all as she spent the first half of the scan with her back firmly towards us and no amount of prodding and me wiggling would move her. I am amazed at how active she seems to be and (apart from the one questionable episode at the weekend,) I can't feel anything at all.

Rache1S Thu 17-Jan-13 20:41:09

Thanks Purple smile

We might all be having girls yet grin

HazleNutt Thu 17-Jan-13 21:42:13

Ah well. My all-time favourite child is a friends' 8-year old gorgeous boy, so if it's a boy and anything like him, I'll be fine. As long as it's healthy, as they say.

Did they check for anything else during this scan as well, Rach? If not, I guess they still would have said if there were any obvious issues?

Rache1S Thu 17-Jan-13 22:13:15

I am chuffed that it's a girl but I would have been fine with a boy (well, I would have to be!). Most of my friends' little girls are right little madams, whereas their little boys are much better behaved and generally much more pleasant. I am obviously hoping to break this trend with ours.

Yes they did a well-being check, which they were at pains to stress isn't as thorough as the 20 week anomaly scan, but it did cover lots of possible problems. I asked if she would let us know if she spotted anything worrying and she said yes, but everything looks fine at the moment. I have to admit that it does take a bit of the heat out of the 20 week scan as I was getting a bit worried.

Aww it's all very exciting.
I know the stuff about wanting a girl is silly, I'll love whatever I have and out of the b/g twins we have in our family, the boy is my favourite.

Having a baby is just such a new scary thing and somehow you assume it will be easier to relate to a girl so it's one less worry. I'm not explaining it well but what I mean is. I know it's a gender stereotyping example but I already know how to sew ribbons on ballet shoes, I've no idea about football boots so it seems less scary to imagine a girl.

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 08:23:57

I can't even give a reason for my preference for a girl (as I haven't got a clue), other than girls clothes being way cuter!? I really am that shallow!

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 08:45:08

I totally understand both of you, I'm the same - no specific reason, just a preference.
I guess one thing is that pretty much all problematic kids I know are boys, so it just seems that it's easier to raise girls, that they don't have so much peer pressure to do stupid things and get into all kinds of risky stuff...but actually those are just exceptions and I know plenty of perfectly well behaved, normal boys as well.

As long as it's healthy - do not, I repeat, do not google what issues they might discover during 20-week scan.

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 09:21:43

I feel a little bit sad for DH that it's not a boy. I mean, he said he is not bothered either way and is very happy it's a girl, but it's me which thinks he would have loved having a boy to play with.
He already has a DD from a previous relationship who is nearly 7. She's lovely and very well behaved but she's like a wet lettuce delicate little flower who doesn't like trying new things and gets upset at anything. DH on the other hand likes fast cars, motorbikes, snowboarding, kite surfing and wants to get a helicopter pilots licence but I have threatened to leave him if he does, especially after this weeks events.... anything involving a bit of skill, risk and adrenaline, so pretty much polar opposite to his DD.
This is obviously not to say that our DD will turn out the same (and I certainly hope not!) but I think if it was a boy there's more likelihood of them having more in common as he grows older. It's fine now she's still young but I can't for the life of me imagine what DH and DSD will have in common when she's a teeneger unless she has a massive shift in personality.

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 10:22:27

Hm I think I might be feeling some movements, like bubbles popping in stomach. Could that be it? Or it could be just the breakfast, of course.

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 10:43:59

Most textbooks and my obsessive googling do say that first movements are often felt as bubbles or popping so it sounds like it probably is. smile How exciting. grin

What I felt at the weekend was more like the strange sensation of my intestines relocating so no idea if it was movement or not. Last nights scan showed such an active baby that i'm sure if I still can't feel that much movement then I probably still can't feel anything.

I am also baffled that I have this baby measuring 13cm crown to rump (plus very kicky legs) plus sac inside me yet I have hardly any bump (just bloat). How has it fitted in? How is there this much 'spare' room without having to shift outwards? If there was this much room to spare why wasn't I thinner in the first place??

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 10:56:16

I have put one of the 4D pics on if anyone would like a nosey at our daughter. Feels very strange saying that grin

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 11:26:00

aww what a gorgeous daughter you have smile looks like a real baby already.

WOW! That's amazing!

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 11:49:05

Totally off-baby-topic rant, but honestly, doc tells me to not stress and take it easy, but how am I supposed to do that when my boss tells me to handle something by myself, even though I ask if she could assist, as it's not really my area. And when I do, then I get told off - "Well, as you decided to do it alone.."
WTF?? I decided? Last time I do effing anything here without getting the instructions in writing, stamped and notarized angry

Well not really, but I am massively pissed off at the moment.

Rant away Hazle, my usual advice would be have a glass of wine but I'm at a loss!

janey1234 Fri 18-Jan-13 12:18:39

Rache! Amazing news, am so, so happy for you!!!

Aaah, a gorgeous (and she is) perfect little girl. Amazing.

Sorry I didn't congratulate you last night, but I was in the pub with friends. I did check in to see sex and that all was well, but didn't have chance to send my congratulations as I WAS OUT LATE AND DIDN'T GET HOME UNTIL MIDNIGHT. How bloody exciting.

Hazle - grrrr to work. Nearly the weekend though...

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 12:36:49

Aaaah you can't beat a good work rant Hazle..... fire away, it's always good to vent. Your boss sounds like a total cow.

I am soooo impressed Janey at you staying out until midnight! I have a friend's leaving do tomorrow night who is moving to Dubai and I am already dreading the potential late night.

I am absolutely amazed that 15 weeks ago that very definite baby on the picture was a sperm and an egg! It's unbelievable how our bodies do this in such a short time.

janey1234 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:04:39

It is amazing, you must be sooo happy rache. And, like you, I can't understand where everything is fitting (despite feeling bloated and huge). Why wasn't my waist teeny tiny before?!

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Fri 18-Jan-13 14:26:15

Congrats rache!!!
She looks lovely smile
How special did it feel seeing her face?!

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 15:57:56

Thanks Zombies, how is your little bean getting on? Any of the dreaded morning sickness?

I was a bit dubious about agreeing to the 4D (they do explain that baby might still look a bit alien at 17 weeks so it might not be something you definitely want to see and can decline), but I am far too nosey and I'm so glad we chose to see it. It was absolutely amazing to see her little face and she performed for us by sucking her thumb smile

Are you all under snow? (Those in uk) go carefully if you are lladies. Trying not to sound smug but it doesn't snow where I live grin

You must all think I'm a complete moron who can't spell, sorry, stupid fingers or stupid phone nor sure which. I meant 'ladies' obviously!

Gah! I give up!

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 17:28:20

Based on my proven inability to successfully navigate stairs I have decided it's probably best I stay out of the snow and ice blush

Why doesn't it snow where you live, are you in the desert? Or Cork? (My Sis lived there for years and it never, ever snowed).

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 17:31:54

Would it be completely ridiculous to buy these already for next Winter? They're so cute! DH would kill me if he knew but I would hide them well.

Eeeeee I've gone on about your amazing scan so much my OH just asked if I want one grin woo hoo!
I live in South Devon on the coast in a sheltered bay so we very rarely get any snow at all, they've had some further inland but not a flutter here we're too close to the sea and its usually a couple of degrees warmer here than the rest of England too. I grew up in the midlands and I don't miss the snow at all!

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 17:40:43

very cute, sure go for it!

We have some snow here too, dogs love it!

HazleNutt Fri 18-Jan-13 17:48:53

what's with all the exclamation marks I wonder..

Any fun plans for the weekend, snow permitting? Shopping for baby stuff?

His lordship wants to go gun shopping. I bloody despair. On reflection, the generous offer of a scan may be to try to sweeten me up so I don't yell too much when he spends a fortune on firearms.
That's maybe the only thing I miss about snow is seeing the dogs play in it.

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 20:14:55

Ha, ha, Purple, my DH's sudden change of heart about the private scan after being against it initially was also suspiciously timed considering he's leaving me for a snowboarding holiday next week. Who cares if there's an ulterior motive, just take the opportunity and enjoy it smile I booked my scan with these who seem to have clinics everywhere.

My weekend consists of waving goodbye to DH tomorrow morning, followed by having a clear out of the baby's room and the rest of the house. I'm out on the tiles tomorrow night for a friend's leaving do and then I might see if my Sis wants to go baby shopping on Sunday, snow permitting. Or I might just sit on my backside eating chocolate, keeping warm and shopping online grin

Rache1S Fri 18-Jan-13 20:16:57

P.S. I want to live in South Devon on the coast in a sheltered bay envy

Yeah thanks for the link, they have a place fairly near here just trying to consider if i can be sensible and just wait 3 weeks! I'd go for the chocolate and online shopping option personally grin
As for the lovely South West, low wages, high living costs, high house prices, high unemployment...but you can spend your weekends walking the dogs on the beach. Can't have it all.

HazleNutt Sat 19-Jan-13 09:41:45

This is something I really miss here - lived by the sea my whole life and the rivers and lakes here are just not the same. Can't have it all, as you say.

So my nasty had it since before Christmas has either mutated and come back or I've immediately come down with another one before I even properly got over the first. Feel shitty so when I decided I NEEDED a creme egg and OH didn't immediately jump off the sofa to fetch one I'm afraid I had to resort to blackmail and threatened to tell his mum he isn't looking after me properly. He's at the shop as we speak. I promise to use these powers only for good grin

Virus, the missing word is virus. Stupid phone.

Rache1S Sun 20-Jan-13 09:27:04

Oh no Purple, not again! I think your OH should be buying you a whole box of Cream Eggs (well, you might as well ambush it with everything you've got!) grin

I woke up on my back this morning with unexplained pins and needles in one arm. I wonder if this is the start of the mysterious don't sleep on your back, sleep on your left side situation? I hope not, I am a back (or belly) sleeper and I was hoping to get much further along before I couldn't sleep on my back, having already waved goodbye to belly sleeping. confused

I went out last night and noticed for the first time how people in the know try to catch (what they think is) a discreet glance at my belly. They obviously thought they were doing it covertly but I kept seeing it and found it quite funny. I caught the HR Director doing it at work the other day as well.

My friend who's EDD is 12 days ahead of mine has got a lovely bump coming, but not surprising as she is quite tall and very slim the lucky cow. I am getting bump envy already! envy

HazleNutt Sun 20-Jan-13 10:12:02

Oh poor you purple. I've managed to catch a cold too - nothing serious, no fever, just annoying. Sent DH to pharmacy and what did they manage to sell him- a load of homeopathic stuff. French are really big on homeopathy, which is fine if you believe in that kind of stuff. I don't.

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 10:33:48

Oh we're all ill. I've had a headache since last night too and can't take anything for it...

A TMI question for you all. As mentioned before, am suffering from constipation hmm this morning went to the loo, and there was the teeniest bit of blood. Like a kind of pinky discharge. Do you think it could be from straining to go to the loo (sorryblush) or something to worry about? Feel a bit sick with worry...

Hope everyone is feeling ok

Rache1S Sun 20-Jan-13 10:41:47

Janey I am also getting lots more headaches than normal.

Having had a few bouts of bleeding which turned out to be apparently nothing, I don't think a tiny bit is worth getting in a massive flap over, but it's perhaps worth texting your midwife if that is an option? Just for your peace of mind really as it's very likely to be nothing. Stressful though, I know thanks

Rache1S Sun 20-Jan-13 10:46:28

Hazle Oh no, not you as well! Based on the fact that it is totally cuckoo, I suspect homeopathy is not going to sort you out sad The only thing which might make you feel better regarding homeopathy is watching Dara O'Briain's stand up show where he spends ages taking to piss out of it and the people who believe it works, which is very funny.

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:05:16

I don't have a number for my
Midwife... She said any problems before 18 weeks and I should go to A&E, after 18 weeks and call the midwifery unit in hospital. The joys of living in London. Not sure it's worth a trip to a&e? Argh.

HazleNutt Sun 20-Jan-13 11:05:30

janey regarding the TMI question, sure it was pinkish discharge or maybe just some small tear in the..um..back? ..due to constipation straining?

I'm quite annoyed with the pharmacists, she apparently had said that this is the safe stuff and for anything else I need to go see my doc. The homeopathic stuff is entirely safe indeed, as it doesn't do a thing. hmm And I'm sure there are plenty of simple cold remedies available that would be safe to use during pregnancy. will just dig through the medicine cabinet and read the info leaflets, can't be that all pregnant women are just supposed to walk around with runny noses.

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 11:11:24

Yes hazle, I'm sure. I won't tell you how, as that really is TMI, but I'm certain...

I've basically had a cold since November. Thankfully haven't felt ill with it but constantly sneezing and sniffing. But not felt the desire to take ant homeopathic stuff - am sure it doesn't work at all! Hope you feel a bit better later

Rache1S Sun 20-Jan-13 11:39:41

Janey is there a Walk-In Centre or even phone NHS Direct for advice to see if they think it's worth a trip to A&E?
When I had my last bleed I didn't know I could text my Midwife, so I phoned NHS Direct, who told me to phone the out-of-hours number for my GP, which I did. They took my details and a Nurse phoned me back about half an hour later to assess me. If you're worried it's just nice to speak to someone in the know AND KEEP AWAY FORM DR GOOGLE! smile

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 12:08:08

I just called the hospital midwife. Felt an idiot doing it but she was just lovely, and said to try not to worry. I think she thinks it could be from trying to go to the loo and said to keep an eye on it. She's there until six so I can call back if need be, but told me to take some lactulose and stay inside in the warm and try not to worry unless things get worse...

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 12:08:26

And thanks for the support smile

HazleNutt Sun 20-Jan-13 12:12:07

we understand exactly how worried you must be! Even if it's probably nothing, hopefully the mw managed to reassure you a little.

Sorry everyone else is all ill and Germy as well. I feel horrid, I think if this were man flu I'd be actually dead but what with me being a woman who just gets on with things nobody cares. Very sorry for myself!

Hope the mw managed to reassure you a bit Janey, these are scary times.

HazleNutt Sun 20-Jan-13 18:26:40

You're doing ok Janey?

HazleNutt Sun 20-Jan-13 18:30:23

Am thinking if I should find a mw here too - got some leaflet from doc that I can if I want to, to discuss the birth and any questions I might have. Can I ask, what exactly do your mw's do?

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Sun 20-Jan-13 18:30:34

janey are you ok??

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:47:13

I'm fine thanks all. No more bleeding so hoping it was nothing...

So far hazle the midwife has taken blood and urine samples, and medical history etc. oh and checked that DP and I weren't close relatives!! In terms of birth options she said I could choose what I want but that if I wanted a normal sex life after to have an elcs! Got another appt on Tues though so will update you if anything more thrilling happens then...

Thanks for checking up on me smile

Glad you're ok Janey.
I'm having a bit of a crappy day, feeling very sorry for myself so could do with a quick moan then I promise I'll stop, just if I don't vent to you guys someone in real life is going to get it and then I'll be in trouble.
1. My bloody mother wants me to re-arrange my birthday meal for a more convenient time, you know, one that's not actually on my birthday. Cow.
2. OH is being a bit of a wanker, there's only so much forgiveness 4 creme eggs can buy you and it's not enough to cover his crimes right now.
3. I feel poorly and neither my bloody mother (it's her official title) or the wanker care enough to actually help at all. My head's banging, I'm so full of snot I might actually drown and I'm totally knackered but if I even sniffle too much I'm 'moaning' (the wanker) or 'not as ill as me' (the bloody mother)
4. Nobody stocks maternity clothes that fit me and I'm soo uncomfortable but can't seem to find any kind of solution to it.
Phew, feel ever so slightly better now, sorry for moaning!

HazleNutt Sun 20-Jan-13 19:16:28

Glad to hear you're ok Janey!
So sounds like a mw is doing the same my doc already does.

Purple moan away! The pregnancy clothes are not short enough for you, right? It's a pain to order and probably a hassle to return, but a lot of US shops stock petite maternity clothing, could that be an option?
or some links here voices.yahoo.com/top-10-petite-maternity-clothing-stores-2040128.html

Rache1S Sun 20-Jan-13 20:11:44

That's a relief that it's stopped Janey smile

In addition to the stuff Janey said, my Midwife also checked that I wasn't a victim of domestic abuse. shock Unless they really step it up in the second half of pregnancy, I would say mine has told me nothing I didn't know already and has spent most of her time with me filling in a mountain of seemingly unnecessary forms.

Eat more Cream Eggs Purple! grin Your Mum sounds like she's from the same planet as mine so I definitely hear where you're coming from but unfortunately we're stuck with them.
And your OH needs to pull his socks up a bit and start looking after his poorly knocked-up missus. He has done this to you after all (well, possibly not the illness but definitely the baby) and I think you need to remind him of this very vocally at every opportunity!

janey1234 Sun 20-Jan-13 20:29:33

Oh purple that sucks. Bloody mothers and men wink

Moan away.

Afraid I can't be of any use about maternity clothes but I reckon a dressing gown on the sofa on a Sunday is pretty comfy - trying that theory out myself right now!

Rache1S Sun 20-Jan-13 21:43:37

I have just eaten two Soleros at once. It was necessary. I am not proud. blush

Thanks ladies, I'm consoling myself with half a glass of low alcohol wine hmm if I could just have ONE working nostril, I swear I could cope with the rest of it!
Bless him, I know he means well, but OH came home with a couple of pairs of maternity trousers from Mothercare (where he had obviously been wandering around instead of coming home and helping me with the housework). Didn't understand at all when I looked at him like this hmm. He knew I'd been struggling to find anything to fit and yet somehow thought HE could waltz into Mothercare pick a size 10 off the rail and they would be suitable. Like I couldn't have thought of that myseslf. They are, of course, not. He's all hurt now.
Shit, I'm moaning again and I've gone over my daily allowance already.
Rach, Soleros must be like creme eggs and chocolate hobnobs and can only be consumed in twos? It's almost the law right?

Janey, I wonder if anyone would dare say anything to the pregnant lady with the crazy look in her eyes if I turned up to work in my dressing gown? Might be an option grin

janey1234 Mon 21-Jan-13 08:51:22

Oooh try it out purple and let me know... I think it's got to be a better look than dungarees! wink

HazleNutt Mon 21-Jan-13 09:31:46

I took a sick day, haven't taken one for years. Couldn't sleep and feel quite miserable. Boss actually wrote a nice email back telling me to just relax and take it easy, must be in a good mood - she has previously told another colleague that if he's conscious enough to email then he is fine to come to work.

Well, of course I have my blackberry, so effectively it's just working from home, but at least I can stay in my dressing gown.

Take it easy Hazle, it has amazed me how much just being pregnant has totally knackered my usually robust immune system. I never call In Sick either and when I did the other day I thought that the fact I never normally do it surely ought to cut me some slack so try to actually relax!
In other news, I'm now officially an elderberry as today I reached the grand old age of 31!

janey1234 Mon 21-Jan-13 10:09:37

Oh hazle poor you. I did the same last week, had a splitting headache and felt beyond exhausted. I'm never off sick but just wouldn't go in. DP was actually really worried as he knows I'm never off!

Glad to see you're testing out the dressing gown to work theory though wink

purple - happy birthday!! And good god, you're young, it's making me depressed!

HazleNutt Mon 21-Jan-13 10:31:12

happy birthday Purple! got anything nice from OH? (besides maternity trousers that don't fit)

Umm a pair of maternity trousers that don't fit, a pair of maternity jeans that don't fit, a maternity cardigan which makes me look like a wonky hunchback dwarf and a hideous (IMO) maternity t-shirt which says 'hello baby' on it. Gag. Apologies if you happen to like the novelty type tshirts but they're just not me at all. The whole lot has got to go back so I guess that's what I'm doing with my day off! Oops bit of an epic fail for OH this birthday!

janey1234 Mon 21-Jan-13 12:38:56

Oh purple, he's (in fact you've!) had a shocker!!

Agreed re: novelty t-shirts. Would look perfect with dungarees though wink

Rache1S Mon 21-Jan-13 12:51:33

Happy Birthday Purple! I wish I was 31 instead of nearly 35.
Hmmm, it's a while until my birthday but I had better not get anything baby-related. I want stuff for me! Purple I suppose maternity clothes are technically for you and it sounds like he means well so at least you can swap them for ones which actually fit or you actually like.

Enjoy your restful day off Hazle and I hope your BlackBerry isn't seeing too much work action.

Rache1S Mon 21-Jan-13 12:52:45

At least the top of the dungarees would prevent people from being able to see the hideous novelty t-shirt! grin

Rache1S Mon 21-Jan-13 19:04:54

What healthy meals for one can I eat while DH is away? Any suggestions?
I usually live on lazy easy snack-type meals pizza while he's away, but I feel like I need to eat well this time with a baby on board and I'm lacking inspiration. I lived alone for 5 years and I haven't got the faintest idea what I used to eat! Most pack sizes are geared up for 2 or more people and I only have a dog and a foetus for company this week's meals sad

HazleNutt Mon 21-Jan-13 19:13:38

I just made spicy pumpkin soup, healthy and helps with my cold.

Rache1S Mon 21-Jan-13 19:38:07

Are you feeling any better Hazle?

Mmmm, sounds lovely. It's definitely soup weather, I never thought of that. I do have a very good and under-used blender.
I had a boring jacket potato with salad. Again. I will get some exciting soups and meals going for the rest of the week smile

janey1234 Mon 21-Jan-13 19:46:39

We just had a rather delicious white bean, tomato and bacon soup. Is a jamie Oliver recipe and bloody gorgeous if anyone wants to try it too!

HazleNutt Mon 21-Jan-13 20:02:10

thanks Rach I'm a bit better, will probably survive.
Jamie is a good recommendation, his 30- and 15-minute meals are totally suitable for one as well.

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 08:32:10

At work, feel better. Look horrible but oh well. Just too much to do, but will try to go home a bit earlier.

Boss is acting funny. Sent me a couple of really nice emails, that of course I should relax and thanks for not coming to work when infectious. Normal, you would think - but she has previously given other colleagues (who were in fact very ill and infectious as determined by the doctor) a hard time, actually telling them that if they can walk, they should come to work and taking sick days is unacceptable. She also sent me some funny email about pregnancy. Odd. Very odd.

Got one of those pregnancy pillows, you know the long ones - can recommend, made sleeping a lot more comfortable.

Rache1S Tue 22-Jan-13 09:31:31

I'm glad you've said that Hazle, I was wondering about the pregnancy pillows. Some of them seem very expensive for what they are, but if I get a good nights sleep I will invest.
Have you got a specific pregnancy pillow like this one?
After getting pins and needles from sleeping on my back, I have spend the last few nights on my side wedged in between two normal pillows, which has been better.

Glad you're feeling better grin

Rache1S Tue 22-Jan-13 09:32:24


HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 09:54:08

Rach mine is something like this, got it from a friend, so no idea if it was an expensive option or not:

How you feeling today Hazle? I'm an absolutely germ ridden snot monster and I have to go and give a 20 minute talk to pregnant people this afternoon with my voice going. Fun! I sound a bit like a teenage boy who is having some serious voice breaking issues. Poor pregnant ladies having to listen to me squeaking away about tax credits and the like.
In other news, it seems I have a wriggler, felt some possible movements on Sunday but wasn't sure it was definitely that but today, it's definitely doing some sort of dance, possibly giving thanks for the kit kat we ate for breakfast. I did pause today to consider how all my high ideals about healthy eating have completely gone out of the window and that if I were feeding a child that had actually been born this diet, someone might call social services, which would be bad and embarrasing as they all know me from work anyway...

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 13:21:34

Purple, I'm still snotty, but feeling better. Bit of cough that comes and goes, have to teach a Bodypump class on Thursday so it better be gone by then. I don't think anybody will believe me when a sick instructor with what looks like beer-belly is telling them how effective the class is and how good for your health grin

Yes I'm pretty sure I feel movement too. Either that or the lunch is very active.

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 13:40:37

Oh purple and hazle, how bloody exciting! Does it feel nice and reassuring, or just a bit weird? I think you're only a week ahead of me purple? Is that right? I'm due 9th July. I don't think I've felt anything yet, but maybe in a week or so I might...

Glad you're feeling a bit better hazle. Sorry to laugh purple but your teenage boy reference really made me laugh! Hope this afternoon goes OK and you're not feeling too rough.

16 week appt this morning. All pretty routine. She reassuringly told me that I wasn't HIV positive (which I knew from giving blood) - which did make me think it would be a bloody awful way to find out if you were!! She explained that they have a policy to only listen to the heartbeat from 20 weeks onwards, as it can be hard to detect at 16 weeks and can cause more stress than necessary. However, I think she took pity on us when she saw our disappointed faces, and given the small amount of blood on Sunday, she agreed to try as long as we PROMISED not to be disappointed or stress if she couldn't pick it up. Anyway as soon as she tried, there it was (she seemed very surprised at how easy it was to find, and how loud it was!) beating away perfectly. Such a relief after the weekend. Now just the 20 week scan to start worrying about...

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 13:43:15

ps where is lol? I'm not sure we've seen her for a while...? sad

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 13:54:10

Oh that must have been a relief indeed janey

As for the movement, in my case it's mainly weird as I don't really know if it's actual movement yet or I'm imagining it.

Rache1S Tue 22-Jan-13 14:21:24

Great news Janey, that must be such a weight off your mind. smile

Purple I am also having diet-related guilt issues. I have been making a massive effort to eat as much fruit and veg as possible..... but am still loving sweets, chocolate and fizzy Fanta Orange. When the Midwife checked my urine sample last week I was half expecting her to say it was pure Fanta.

I sound like I'm just jumping on the kicking bandwagon now, but I'm having some strange abdominal sensations which I don't think can be explained away by anything else. It doesn't feel like I was expecting it to though (based on zero previous experience, what the heck was I expecting??) It kinda feels like trapped wind escaping, but much lower down. blush

I have ordered a cheap(ish) V shaped support pillow with an accompanying wedge to stop me from rolling onto my back. I feel like a pensioner.

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 14:45:53

Oh great I want fanta now. I never drink fanta.

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 14:52:52

Fanta! That's a bloody good idea!
I, too, never drink it, but that bright orange pop is JUST what I fancy right now. You, rache, are a frickin' genius.

I am eating bloody well - in terms of 7 or so portions of fruit and veg, all home made food (eg home made bean soup last night (Jamie's), got up and popped a bolognese with loads of veg in it in the slow cooker before the midwife appt this morning) with lots of healthy carbs. BUT the result of this is that I am SICK of healthy food and am really, really craving crap. For example, pizza.... Yum....

Right, off to get a fanta.

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 15:07:05

Oh rache what have you done?! This is DELICIOUS!!

Rache1S Tue 22-Jan-13 15:23:28

Errr.... oops, sorry guys! confused I hope one can is enough and you feel satisfied enough to go back to your healthy juices which you were no doubt drinking before unlike the gallons of Fanta which I am getting through.

On the other hand it could mean you are also expecting girls?

My 'movements' if that is indeed what they are, are akin to what I can only describe as someone poking you in the stomach with their finger but through a bowl of jelly or possibly jelly bubbles popping. It IS a little bit like when your stomach gurgles and you get that bubbles in a water cooler thing going on and yet, totally different as well. I am aware that this makes no sense AT ALL.

Yes Janey, I'm due 2nd July so we're pretty close but I really only felt those odd sensations Sunday night and this morning and I've had nothing else before that and only when I'm sitting still for a while. I've got my '16 week' appt Thursday (obviously more like 17 weeks then but they said it doesn't matter). I really hope they do the heartbeat, I was looking forward to that bit!

I used to eat healthy meals but at the minute, I'm really struggling to eat actual meals, I just don't want MEALS at all, just crisps and chocolate/ snacky crap food, I do feel bad about it but I figure a kit kat for breakfast is better than no breakfast right? and I am forcing some fruit and veg down me but not eating anywhere near as healthily as I was before I was pregnant which seems ridiculously backwards.

Laughing at the image of you all sitting around your computers slurping down cans of Fanta! I'm on the Ribena in the desperate hope that the vitamin c will help rid me of this germ infestation or at least will stop another virus riding in on the coat tails of the last one as I'm convinced happened last time. 5 weeks of constant cold symptoms is not normal!

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 15:50:27

Oh, I've gone straight in at the deep end with a 500ml plastic bottle of fanta! And it is YUM.

The other thing I'm addicted to is Elderberry cordial, love the sugary sweetness. So I'm not being that healthy!! But so far today have had a crumpet, a pear, two plums, some black grapes, a kiwi, a chicken and pickle sarnie (sounds odd but really fancied it when I was making it last night) and some fanta. The fanta, unsurprisingly, has been the most pleasing part...

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 15:51:11

Oh and purple I love your description of what the movements feel like! I have no idea whatsoever what I'm looking out for now wink but sounds very intriguing!

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 16:19:46

Yes that's a very good description, jelly-bubbles popping.
I've been eating lots of clementines and drinking orange juice, so Fanta will probably be nice indeed, too lazy to go buy though.

BelissimaLol Tue 22-Jan-13 21:07:06

Hi girls
I disappeared for a while as I was trying my best to relax before the scan.
Well I had it today and it all went well! gringrin
Turns out I'm 13 weeks when I thought I was 11/6. Not sure how that's possible as I don't think we shagged when they think we did! But baby is jumping about and I'm in a bit of a daze at the moment!
Haven't read back to see what I've missed and hope all is good.
My new Edd is 30july. Eek!

HazleNutt Tue 22-Jan-13 21:14:07

yay massive congratulations! thanks
very glad to hear all is well.

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 21:33:55

Oh lol that's brilliant news!!! thanksthanksthanksthanks

I was getting worried - I love worrying at the moment - hence I was asking about you earlier...

So happy that it was good news - it's the best feeling isn't it, when you see the baby and hear the heartbeat smile

Rache1S Tue 22-Jan-13 22:02:19

Hi Lol! Glad to see you're back on and all is well with bubba. smile

What a pleasant surprise to find out you're further along than you thought. Time seems to go in slow motion when you're pregnant so I hope the same happens to me at the 20 week scan and it turns out I'm actually 39 weeks and about to get baby out. I know....well, I can dream grin

BelissimaLol Tue 22-Jan-13 22:03:32

Thanks for your concern. Yes it is amazing! Baby was jumping which was funny. DH kept starring at photo. It was sweet.
I'm hoping ill relax a bit now.
How's you two doing?

Yay! Congratulations Lol it's nice to have you back. How exciting to be further along than you thought!

TMI but I think my wonder guts have finally failed me, seriously, the last time I was constipated I was about 7 but my very healthy digestion and stomach of steel have finally let me down and nothing is moving sad

Rache1S Tue 22-Jan-13 23:11:33

Oh dear Purple sad It might not last though. I was just about to start forcing prune juice down when normal service resumed all by itself. No doubt it will rear its ugly head again at some point.

janey1234 Tue 22-Jan-13 23:30:46

Oh purple, know exactly how you feel. I'm NEVER constipated or have any problems in that respect, but have been really suffering. My tips - proven to work last weekend:

1. Soft fruits. Lots of. Pears, plums, kiwi etc.... Eat lots.

2. Water. Lots of.

3. Cut out all bran. Turns out it can make things a bit worse in times of need.

4. Lactose. Harmless. Recommended by my midwife. Magic.

HazleNutt Wed 23-Jan-13 09:33:47

OK this day did not start that well. First, couldn't sleep. Nose totally blocked, not even a molecule of air coming through. I can't sleep breathing through my mouth, so was up most of the night. Using the nose spray that usually helps, nothing. Tried several times, still nothing.

Got up and discovered that what I had been using in the dark thinking was the normal spray was actually just salt water spray, no wonder it did not make any difference. If I just used the normal one, i would have been fine. Grr.
And then I forgot to brush my teeth. I never forget. Seriously, who forgets this kind of thing? Luckily have some gum and mouthwash here but still, eww. Will have to start carrying a travel tooth brush and other essentials just in case.

And now I want Fanta and the work cafeteria is not selling any!

Rache1S Wed 23-Jan-13 10:00:54

Sorry Hazle but I just had to chuckle at your nasal spray/toothbrush mishaps smile Particularly the toothbrush, it's really not great to have to spend the day feeling like you have furry teeth. I made toast yesterday and tried to put the butter back in the washing machine instead of the fridge. And I thought there was no such thing as baby brain!

I'd happily give you some of my Fanta if you were closer, I have a fridge full grin

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 11:05:12

Shhh with your talk of Fanta. I'm trying to forget its fizzy goodness...

Oh hazle what a shitty start to the day. I however, have had a great start to the day laughing at someone spraying salt water up their nostrils wink

I've actually had a really bad start to the day. My mortgage application to extend the loft last night got turned down due to my credit history. My bank sounded massively surprised, as I was I. I'm asking for a 49% loan to value total mortgage on my house, so should be a pretty safe bet.

Turns out that when I paid a credit card off, back in the summer, a week after I paid off the balance in full they tried to take a direct debit for the full amount. I had already cancelled the direct debit as i had paid off the card. They charged me £12 for trying to take money I didn't owe them, and now it shows on my account that I missed two payments of £12 (they tried taking it my direct debit, which HAD BEEN CANCELLED!) and as such shows as two missed payments on my credit history. Unbelievable. Asked the company (virgin money) to put it in writing that this is what happened (the bank had said if it was something small like this, which they suspected, they'd obviously review my application as my credit history had always been excellent in the past) and they said no. Wankers.

Have just e-mailed the chief exec, leaving my job title and signatures on the e-mail (I work for three national and one regional newspaper which can't do any harm) and have threatened to take them to the financial ombudsman. I have a July deadline on this bloody extension and can't be wasting time of this! The buggers...

HazleNutt Wed 23-Jan-13 11:18:55

Janey that's outrageous! But press is pretty much the only thing such companies are worried about, so leaving your signature was a very good move. They'd better sort it out.

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 11:31:41

It is outrageous. The buggers. I know I will get it sorted, but it annoys me that people who don't work for a newspaper, or who aren't as confident or capable of arguing their case get screwed over by companies like this. And they're probably people who have no options to get the money elsewhere, so a no based on a credit score could be a life-changing decision. Makes me angry....

Rache1S Wed 23-Jan-13 11:48:55

Janey I had a bad experience with Virgin Money a few years ago and wouldn't touch them now, no matter what they offered. A bunch of total incompetents in my experience (and sadly now yours). I hope you get it sorted.
Have you tried posting it on their Facebook and Twitter? It worked for me last year when an airport valet parking company wrote off our car while it was in their care. The insurance got sorted but we were chasing them for reimbursement of the hire car we needed when we got back from holiday. This went on for months until I finally resorted to posting about it daily on their social media sites and they suddenly settled it straight away.

Could this be the answer to our too fat for normal clothes but too small for maternity problems? Belly Belt I can fasten my jeans standing up but have to open the fly when sitting down at the moment. I would be very happy to spend an extra couple of months in my normal jeans but is it too good to be true?

HazleNutt Wed 23-Jan-13 11:50:55

Absolutely, this kind of mistake can mess up all your plans. Bastards.

Well some authorities are close to messing up my plans as well - I applied for a new passport in November. It was ready and sent to the Foreign Ministry in December. It has still not arrived to the consul here. So yesterday I ask the ministry and they say that oh yes, it's here. We're just waiting until we get a few more for this consul, so we can send them out all together.

I ordered it to Zurich, there are about, oh, 5 Estonians in Switzerland and I really doubt all of them are applying for new passports at the same time. So according to them it would have been ok for me to wait a year or two?

I told them what I think of this. Passport was posted yesterday. Now I just have to hope and see if it gets here before my holidays, hope they managed to address it to Switzerland and not Swasiland..

HazleNutt Wed 23-Jan-13 11:56:39

you can still fasten your normal jeans Rach?? Well, I have not tried but I definitely have a bump now, so doubt that would work. I guess the belt could work with longer tops. Some pregnant friends have also recommended the materinty band but I haven't tried.

Then again, eventually you'll have to get some maternity clothes anyway and you're unlikely to wear the jeans out in a month or so, so I'd get a pair or two of real maternity clothes as well, they are really comfortable.

Rache1S Wed 23-Jan-13 12:36:14

I can still fasten the stretchy ones but the the ones with no 'give' in them have been a no-go for a few weeks. I am working from home today yeah, right so I have put a photo up. Interestingly, my Mum only found out she was pregnant with me at 18 weeks and had no bump at all. She said as soon as she found out she woke up the next day looking like Humpty Dumpty. I have got a few pairs of maternity trousers/jeans but they just fall down at the moment sad

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 12:47:25

You look teeny tiny rache! I feel like a giant heffalump in comparison, and am two weeks behind you! sad

Rache1S Wed 23-Jan-13 12:53:48

I should have taken the photo after lunch, i'm sure it will be bigger then. It seems to get pushed forward after eating. I actually want a bump now. I feel like I have been upduffed forever and there is still hardly any evidence and I'm gutted that my boobs haven't grown at all.

HazleNutt Wed 23-Jan-13 13:10:38

yes you look tiny - but then again, I have certainly grown quite a bit just in the past few days, so there's hope for you as well grin

Rache1S Wed 23-Jan-13 13:23:24

I hope so Hazle or I am going to resort to a prosthetic! grin

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 14:28:35

Oh hazle I HATE pre-holiday passport traumas.

Update on my bank. Massive row. They told me to bugger off, basically. I've reported them to the financial ombudsman who confirmed that yes, this is EXACTLY the kind of complaint they will uphold, and have written to them first class today on my behalf.

My Dad used to be very senior in a Bank, and told me that regardless of the outcome, any complaint to the ombudsman results in an admin charge to the bank of several hundred pounds. So I feel reassured that the £12 fee they charged me has already cost them £300+!

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 15:15:53


Just had to go and buy a bottle of fanta sad

I can sense a 'bump off' coming, Rach is soooo going to lose, people keep telling me that I'm tiny but now I've had it confirmed that actually I'm a big fat weeble just like I always thought.
The weird stomach sensations continue, it's definitely the baby, it appears to enjoy Kit Kats as much as me as for the second day running when I've eaten one (at completely different times of day) it has launched into some sort of excited saturday night fever routine in there poking and prodding. It's very, very strange.

Rache1S Wed 23-Jan-13 16:58:11

Janey Well I suppose some women go through pregnancy smoking/drinking/taking drugs, so if Fanta is my only vice then I suppose it's not that bad <she says, trying to dig herself back out.> On the other hand, my baby might be born orange or need to be attached to a Fanta drip after birth. shock It got a bit ridiculous at one point though so I self-imposed a limit of one a day.

I just put '18 weeks pregnant' into Google Images and the women on there seem to be all sorts of sizes, so I don't feel quite so abnormal now.

Having a baby which moves on demand (or on Kit Kat consumption) will be quite handy soon when you're trying to get your OH to feel it Purple

BelissimaLol Wed 23-Jan-13 17:29:23

Jane yes you are right. I work in a bank and DH works for the fos. It is a 500 charge even if they file in favour of the bank!!! So good on you. They should have dealt with it themselves!

janey1234 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:16:20

Ooh thanks lol! Good info.

Well I got an email from a PA to the CEO of virgin money saying they understood my frustration and someone would call me tomorrow... Fingers crossed I get somewhere!

I hope they sort it out for you Janey.

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 08:33:02

So good news is that I'm feeling a lot better. Bad news - whatever I had was infections indeed and now DH got it. His is of course worse as it's a Man Cold.

I've put on 2 kilos this month confused That's what happens when I'm sick and not working out. Have to do something quickly before the doc appointment on Tuesday or I'll certainly get told off..

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 08:48:40

Oh did you read that it will now cost £222,500 to bring up a child from birth to the age of 21? I think I need to ask for a pay rise.

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 09:12:48

Why will you get told off Hazle? Isn't that normal pregnancy weight gain? I haven't even looked at recommended weight gain charts.

NO I HAVE NOT READ THAT! That's shocking! Does that factor in childcare costs/loss of earnings as well as I'm sure children don't need over 10k per year in actual physical stuff? shock

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 09:27:44

I was told no more than 1 kilo per month at this stage - due to my thyroid issues earlier this year, I'm not featherweight to start with.

Sorry for Daily Fail link, it seems to be taking into account child care, not private schools though. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2267318/Cost-bringing-child-age-21-soars-time-high-222-500-Amount-gone-82-000-years.html

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 09:28:03
janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 09:32:34

Over £200k?! Better not do! Argh that's ridiculous....

Just got a phone call from Virgin Money. They've corrected my credit history, accepted full responsibility, and are conducting a thorough investigation into the matter internally.

My credit score has gone from 871 - fair, to 983 - excellent. Hopefully the mortgage application can go through now!

hazle I have apparently put on 3 kilo since my last midwife appt! I know that's not true from my scales at home (and it was wrong because I was wearing all my winter snow stuff this time of about 19 layers and MASSIVE snow boots) and the midwife said it was normal. She said in the second trimester most people put on a pound a week - which is 2kg approx a month isn't it?

janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 09:32:51

Oops massive cross post! sorry!

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 09:39:24

Janey depends on how heavy/light you are, the heavier you start the less you should put on and vice versa, skinny ones can put on more.

Good news and Fx for your application!

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 09:55:37

1 kilo is probably just boobs hmm. I've gone from pre-pregnancy 32F to 34FF and this morning discovered that those bras are a bit too small already as well, have to get some G-cups. Sigh. They'd better stop growing now, even most brands that advertise as catering for big cups stop at GG.

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 10:06:39

I am slightly relieved to see that figure includes University costs of 73k as this is something which parents need not take on (unless they are super rich, very generous and do not want a child who is able to stand on their own two feet), so our bill comes down to c.150k, and I would imagine the bulk of that figure is childcare/loss of earnings in the early years. It is certainly a very scary figure though and does not explain the current credit crunch baby boom which seems to be going on at the moment.

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 10:09:33

Good news about Virgin Money wankers Janey grin

Did your Midwife weigh you at 16 weeks? I wonder why mine didn't? I never go on the scales at home so I have no idea how my weight gain is going.

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 10:14:42

73K is a massive amount of money indeed. Should be a bit cheaper to have kids here - universities are pretty much free in France, I think the yearly fee is something like 200 eur per year. Hoping that won't change drastically over the next 18 years, of course.

janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 10:53:57

She did rache but I'd read online that it seems to vary from one NHS trust to another whether they do. I think some think it's good to keep an eye on it, and others think it causes unnecessary stress, as they don't want women worrying about putting weight on, when that's exactly what they should be doing. I think some trusts only monitor people with dangerously high BMI's. Kind of wish mine did that, although having her say it was 'normal' was nice!

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 11:47:37

I will see if I am feeling brave enough tonight to get on the scales.
When i'm not pregnant I never go on the scales and just gauge my weight by how I feel in myself and how my clothes fit, but I suppose it's now important that I am steadily gaining weight like we're supposed to.

janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 12:06:20

I really wouldn't worry about weight rache. As long as you're eating well and drinking seven cans of Fanta a day you'll put on weight as and when you're meant to. I'm just concentrating on getting enough protein, carbs, and fruit and veg. Beyond that I guess what will be, will be!

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 12:08:18

Yes that's the trouble, can't decide based on how the clothes fit, as at some point they won't fit anyway. But still important that we gain (but not too much).

Just at work - I was lifting a box, just some folders, nothing heavy. Colleague comes running "Nooo, give it to me, you're not supposed to do that!!" He knows that in a couple of hours I'll go to the gym and lift quite considerable amounts of weight. Over my head. Many times. But boxes are apparently different grin

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 12:26:51

I don't think there are any issues with lifting while pregnant are there? Other than that ligaments are softer so you might put your back out, or possibly going off balance with a big belly?
It's undeniably nice of people to care though, even when it is ill-informed.

There was a thread I saw in Classics where some ridiculous princess woman who was 5 months pregnant was slagging off BA because she's had to (shock horror) lift her own hand luggage into an overhead bin. The flaming she got was hilarious.

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 12:44:39

Oh dear I certainly hope I'll manage keep most of my sanity. Or won't become like the OP of a recent thread, who could not bother to reply to friend's birthday invitation text in 2 weeks. And then was upset that friend didn't chase her but just made plans - "but she should understand I'm too busy to reply! I'm a mother!"

janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 12:45:39

That's what I've heard too rache - that it's fine apart from you could damage yourself due to more flexible ligaments. But bless them worrying!

I've seen that thread too. I've only recently discovered the classics, some of them are incredibly funny. There are some VERY odd people out there....

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 13:23:19

Yes lifting is fine, I need to modify some moves in the Bodypump, but otherwise fine. Saying that, I have seen many threads where OP's ask if they should stop exercising not only when pregnant, but also when ttc..

Just had my 16 week appointment and heard the heartbeat, very exciting! She didn't weigh me either so I've got away with the kit kat consumption, phew! grin

BraveLilBear Thu 24-Jan-13 17:25:28

Hellooooooo! Anybody home? wink grin

Janey sent me!

I went missing, but am back! I missed you all but have been so poorly I couldn't even switch my computer on at home (long, gross story so will try to restrain myself).

Short version is, 14+3 according to scan dates (6 days ahead of MY dates), virtually bump free (tho my entire lower abdomen sort of sticks out by a half an inch in a rather elegant and amusingly invisibump way) - and can't wait to read back how everyone's doing grin

janey1234 Thu 24-Jan-13 17:27:47

Hey brave you found us!

purple - CONGRATS! It's just lovely hearing the heartbeat isn't it smile Can't believe that I'm the only one getting weighed - am I to take it personally?!

brave - have managed to avoid googling the issue you mentioned on the other thread, should I continue to do so?!

Hey there, hope you're feeling better Bear, welcome back.

BraveLilBear Thu 24-Jan-13 17:49:35

<waves> I am feeling a lot better thanks, still half a stone down on pre-pregnancy weight and morning sickness/late night acid sickness seems to have returned... but on the whole, a lot better!

Janey ummm huge abscess (size of 'tangerine') next to my a-hole (@9 o'clock). Surgeon looked horrified and apparently is fairly common among younger people. Pregnancy major risk factor. Had dressings changed daily for nearly four weeks, but just being checked once a week now.

Genuinely lost count of number of health professionals who have seen my unmentionables since December 12! The first casualty of pregnancy is dignity grin

Oh no! That sounds terrible you poor thing! I'm glad you're doing a bit better but it sounds like you've had a rotten time, if you need moral support you're in the right place though.

Rache1S Thu 24-Jan-13 19:20:56

OMG Brave welcome back and OUCH!!! shock

Great news about your scan Purple. It seems that all the Elderberry bubbas are cooking nicely grin

HazleNutt Thu 24-Jan-13 19:35:36

Congrats Purple, so nice to hear everything is ok!

And OUCH indeed Brave!

Rache1S Fri 25-Jan-13 13:02:49

Thank Crunchie it's Friday!

I have not felt baby move for a day or so... is almost as bad for paranoia as trying to find the heartbeat! confused I know it's early days so I will try not to get in a flap about it although probably still will.

janey1234 Fri 25-Jan-13 13:22:27

rache am sure all is fine, truly. I'm sure it's just that the sensations are (apparently) so slight at this stage, and there's room for her to move around. Am sure it is all fine... smile

Now, I have to tell you (odd as this is) that I dreamt about you last night. You decided (against the advice of us other elderberries) to put a video on youtube of you trying to make your bump look bigger, for us all to assess how pregnant you looked. So basically it was you, without your head in view, trying to stick your tummy out whilst (strangely) singing songs from Disney films. Because it was so peculiar it became a worldwide internet sensation, and you had to go into hiding (and leave this thread!!) because you were so embarrassed about your singing (sorry to be rude, but I'm afraid it wasn't great).

Who says being knocked up gives you weird, vivid dreams?!

Rache1S Fri 25-Jan-13 13:35:33

Dammit Janey, you've rumbled me, you must be psychic! I was just filming my Youtube video this morning on my mobile, wearing a bikini rolling in the snow and fully intend it to rival Gangnam Style with the number of hits grin ..... I really don't think the world is ready for my singing!

I have also been having some strange dreams. I've had a few dreams about an ex - not about doing anything sexual with him but just about us doing boring mundane things together. I find this absolutely bizarre as I don't have much to do with him any more and it makes me feel like I am doing the dirty on DH. serves him right for going on holiday without me that I am involuntarily dreaming of grocery shopping with an ex. Who knows how our baby brains work??

HazleNutt Fri 25-Jan-13 13:59:41

Rach I'm sure it's fine and it's actually jumping around - when you saw the scan, it probably was and you still didn't feel anything, right?

I haven't had any dreams, but DH keeps dreaming that he takes the dogs out and then simply forgets them somewhere. Probably read some stories how young parents forget their babies in the supermarket the first time they go out.

Rache1S Fri 25-Jan-13 14:10:06

Yes I keep reminding myself that Hazle. She looked like she was giving me a battering at the scan and I couldn't feel a thing.

HazleNutt Fri 25-Jan-13 14:18:17

Oh I think we found a new car for DH, have asked the garage to make an offer for DH's current one. Fx it's reasonable enough.

BraveLilBear Fri 25-Jan-13 14:58:51

Thanks all for sympathy. So wish I had the energy to get on here for moral support at the time but honestly, I was pathetic. Almost feel normal now, well, pregnant normal at least!

Awesome news on heartbeat purple (missed that bit before) and, I'm sure all is fine Rache I think they only recommend you start monitoring kicks etc after 24 weeks, maybe later... Do you feel ok in yourself, any other weird feelings or symptoms? If not, then I'm sure all is ok.

Plus 1 on the weird dreams - seemingly every night now. Vivid, mental, make no sense, inappropriate. I also like to couple these with night sweats. Niiiice smile

And as for baby brain, I've lost my notepad at least three times this morning at work, and keep forgetting names (normally I'm awesome).

Rache1S Fri 25-Jan-13 18:19:27

I feel absolutely fine Brave. I am just a drama queen. If I'd had your little problem I would of been every variety of pathetic hysterical dickhead. DH will find this out the hard way at the birth grin

That's good news on the car Hazle. I hope you get a decent offer for the old one. I was under the impression DH had conceded to swap his for a 4x4 but based on him then buying expensive winter tyres for his current one I'm not convinced he's going to.

HazleNutt Sat 26-Jan-13 08:31:11

You know girls, I'm getting a bit worried. What if we made the wrong decision, to have children? We have a nice, comfortable life and this will now change drastically. What if we regret it? What if I'm a horrible mum who can't really stand her DC?
And is it normal to have thoughts like this?

janey1234 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:43:06

Perfectly normal I think hazle. It's all stating to hit home now I think...

I've always always wanted children, but every now and again I find myself panicking about how tired I'm going to be, or that I've said goodbye to my brilliant social life forever... But of course I wouldn't change things for anything.

I think it's just we've made a life changing decision, and you're bound to get jitters about that? But really, do you know anyone who has regretted having children? Certainly everyone I know says it's life changing, but in a good way, and they wouldn't go back in time for the world.

Of course it's sad and scary to say goodbye to your old life though.

janey1234 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:43:53

Oh and you won't be a horrible mum and you will adore your children. Think it's just the way it works!x

Rache1S Sat 26-Jan-13 10:30:10

I tend to over-think everything (you may have noticed this wink ) and I thought long and hard about the things you mention before deciding to TTC. There's no denying DH and I have a very good lifestyle at present and I was/am worried about losing that, but in the end (and like Janey said,) I had to listen to all the parents out there who say it's the best thing you'll ever do and won't regret it for a second. I was talking to someone last week (surprisingly a man) who said the love you immediately have for your children is like nothing you've ever experienced before. And we're about to find out as it's a bit late now to change our minds grin

My more pressing worry at the moment is that DH is on his way from the airport and says he wants to put another baby in me when he gets home shock grin

HazleNutt Sat 26-Jan-13 10:48:45

I know, it's silly to worry now and I don't see any reasons why we should not be able to cope just fine. I guess I'm just practicing for the lifetime of worry to follow smile

Oh thank god Hazle, I thought it was just me!

My house is chaos, I've got two big crazy dogs, two cats and a messy useless OH that I run around after constantly cleaning and tidying and the house is still always a tip. I keep stopping and looking around me and thinking, was this really a good idea? Do I really need someone else to look after when I already can't cope...

Rache1S Sun 27-Jan-13 17:42:42

Just back from The Trafford Centre and I've been on pram watch all afternoon. The Uppababy Vista which I thought I had decided on looks really wide and bulky when you see people pushing them around so I'm undecided again now. confused So we went back in John Lewis and pushed a few around and I quite like the (more compact) Silver Cross Surf... but the shopping basket is tiny. What do people actually put in the shopping basket? Most people in The Trafford Centre today had their changing bag draped around the handle and the basket empty. I suppose it's handy if you pop to the supermarket as you wouldn't need a basket but I can't really see me doing much of that. Having never had a baby before maybe I'm being naive but is basket size important?

HazleNutt Sun 27-Jan-13 18:01:42

purple well if it's already a chaos then a bit more won't matter, right? grin

Rach I can only guess but the basket is probably important if you're more likely to walk everywhere, so wouldn't have to carry all the heavy stuff you might take with or bring back. If you have a car and would rather drive to do any shopping, probably not so important. As we would drive, haven't really paid much attention to the baskets myself.

We went to the local flea market today, got a brand new baby monitor and a bundle of newborn clothes. (and couldn't resist a cute dress, just in case..)

Rache1S Sun 27-Jan-13 18:32:19

Hazle I plan to do quite a bit of walking but mainly for pleasure rather than necessity so maybe I don't need to worry about baskets.

It sound like you've picked up some bargains and FX you get the right result for the dress. grin I will keep my eyes peeled for any happening local to me as it sounds like a great idea. I can't wait to start shopping but we need to get some new Ikea storage furniture in the baby's room first so we've got somewhere to put everything. DH's Sister had a baby girl last August so I'm kinda hoping there will be some hand-me-downs coming our way as she's adamant it's her last smile

HazleNutt Sun 27-Jan-13 18:55:12

I'm thinking the same about the pram - we'll have to quite a bit of walking, as dogs still need their exercise, so it's important that the pram can also handle not so ideal roads. But for any bigger shopping, we'd need to drive anyway, as the nearest big town is too far to walk. So I don't see the need to carry massive amounts of stuff over long distances.

Besides flea markets, I just checked out the French ebay and will probably buy a lot of things used. Why pay 10 eur for a simple body if you can get a whole bag of nice clothes for the same price? Will wait with rest of the buying til after the scan though.

Rache1S Sun 27-Jan-13 19:10:57

I'm with you on the eBay stuff. All the baby stuff has to be washed before it's worn whether it's new or not so it doesn't make any difference where it's from. I think many people get quite precious about only dressing baby in new gear (nothing wrong with that, each to their own) but I don't intend to spend any more than is necessary on items that will only get a few months use. No doubt we'll get a few nice outfits but the bulk of the everyday items will be second hand, hand-me-downs or from supermarkets. Quite a few recent new Mums have advised me to just get sleep suits and vests in bulk as cheap as possible because when the inevitable poo leakage happens it can be put straight in the bin rather than trying to get the stain out of an expensive one, and anything which means less work for me is a winner in my book! grin

janey1234 Mon 28-Jan-13 10:39:15

Ah, I agree too. Maybe we'll change once we've had them, but I honestly can't see a problem with second hand stuff at all. Seems such a waste to buy new stuff when they will grow out of it so quickly!

Just booked a doctors appointment. I needed to go anyway, about eczema patches on my sides which seem to be worsening (and I think will just turn into horrible stretch marks if I don't sort out the dry skin) but this morning I also coughed up another load of blood. Not sure if it's normal/fine or not, but thought I would mention it at the same time as the eczema. I'm not particularly worried about it, in fact not worried in the slightest, but the few people I have told did seem worried so I don't think it will do any harm.

HazleNutt Mon 28-Jan-13 11:29:38

Janey I would say that yes, coughing blood should be checked out!

I have my regular doc appointment tomorrow, no scan but he'll check the heartbeat.

janey1234 Mon 28-Jan-13 12:20:11

Ooh one other question...

Lying in bed last night I felt this WEIRD sensation. It was in the right place for baby, but felt like a kind of flutter, or like strange bubbles rising or something. Didn't feel like gas and didn't feel like right place for that (attractive I know). It was almost a bit ticklish....

Baby moving, or imagination?!

According to my dates only 17 weeks tomorrow so is it too soon do you think?

BraveLilBear Mon 28-Jan-13 12:22:57

Afternoon all. Plus one on the periodic freak outs over whether this is actually a good idea or not Hazle. I'm delighted and excited and can't wait - but still, I get these moments of just utter doubt. What have we done? Will I be a good mum? How will I cope? Etc etc. So glad it's not just me blush

Not got very far down the purchasing line yet but did eventually convince OH that we'd be getting a moses basket for first couple of months - annoyingly, he's deadset against having baby in our room at all, but eventually conceded that he may allow it on the other side of our room, but not by the bed. Don't ask.

Anyway - after all that, we went to B&Q and have started decorating the nursery... have picked a lovely warm soft green that'll work for all varieties of child - and as we want it to be a surprise, didn't see any point in waiting before getting on with it smile

Oh dear Janey that sounds unpleasant. Is it a lot of blood? In my early stretches of morning sickness I had a few specks of what looked like red blood on occasion, which I put down to ruptured membranes on the back of my throat/oesaphagus from the force of it. It didn't last so I never got it checked - but definitely mention it if you're there anyway, Good luck!