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Over 30 first time mums to be club.(213 Posts)
I do not know if all the pregnant women over 30 leave work and lock themselves away but I feel bit lost in groups (Facebook pregnancy groups are a nightmare) talking work, pregnancy, commuting, buying mistakes and going through the biggest change of my life with no one in a similar situation. So any 30+ first time mums to be out there?
FT senior management job, lots of travelling.
First baby at 37.
Can I concentrate on work? Gaah! NOPE!
Me too. Currently grappling with commuting and pregnancy and trying to keep focus at work while I count down to maternity leave. Still a way to go before baby arrives and yet I find myself worrying about my return to work and balancing motherhood with my career.
How far along are people? I'm 25+1
Me too! Hi everyone! I am in mid first trimester and thank god for work because it stops me being anxious over lack of symptoms. Was dreading going back after Christmas- but phew. Am having to be risk assessed at work but hopefully in secret as really don't want people knowing until I'm a bit further along. Pleased to meet y'all xxx
I'm 18 weeks. Mayanbob, try not to worry; I've had no symptoms either.
Thanks ella makes me feel better!
33 yo first time mum here. work full time as a dispensing optician and will be going back after bub. 17 +4 and very few symptoms apart from tiredness and sciatica. do you think as you get a bit older you worry more ?
curly* and mayanbob I worried all the way up to my 20 week scan about lack of symptoms having previously had an mmc. Post-20 week scan I worried about not feeling movement. Now I feel kicks pretty regularly and have promised myself I'll stop worrying and enjoy it now.
I figure everyone is different, some people get lots of symptoms and some don't get any but it doesn't mean there's anything to worry about. I agree curly that as you get older you tend to worry a bit more.
Are people planning to find out what they're having? We couldn't wait so found out at the 20-week scan that we're having a girl.
Hi there, nice to see this thread! I'm 31, a full time secondary school teacher, will be my first and will have to go back to work after baby too. (Would so love to be a full time mum but we can't afford it!)
I'm only 10 weeks so just keeping my fingers crossed for my scan in 2 weeks. I miscarried my first pregnancy exactly a year ago and has taken us all that time to conceive again - though I know a year is nothing compared to some other people who are trying for several.
And glad to see some of you are worriers too. I think the previous miscarriage made me worry so much more but maybe it is age a little too. I know at 31 I am hardly old but my husband's niece accidentally fell pregnant last year (yes this was a massive source of bitterness for me...). She's in her early twenties and didn't seem to worry a bit that anything would go wrong. Whereas I am so aware of every twinge, symptom and lack of symptoms and worry about them all!
EggyM, I think an mc definitely makes you worry more. I'm similar to you: 32 and had an mmc in November 2011 during first pg. It took us until July 2012 to get upduffed again. I was very anxious up to the 12 week scan. Sending you lots of sticky bean vibes and hope the next 2 weeks doesn't drag too much.
Thanks teapig. Glad you are enjoying your pregnancy now - can't wait til I (fingers crossed) get to that stage!
Hi all, I'm new to mumsnet, just joined today on the advice of a friend who already has a baby, she said it's been really useful. I'm 32, expecting first baby (currently 13 weeks), working full time and also worrying a lot! Mostly for the same reasons, I've had hardly any symptoms up til now, only really sore boobs and that's stopped now too! I finally have my scan on Tues (8th) and it can't come soon enough, I want to see there's actually a baby in there, really paranoid about mmc or just that there's nothing there at all. I'm glad to see others are feeling the same.
Hi Missikat - always good to see others are worrying as much as me! Hope your scan on Tuesday goes well and it will help ease the worrying.
Hey missikat welcome to the worry club!
Good luck for Tuesday- let us know how it goes!
Hey there, I'm 33 (34 in Feb) and just found out last night that I am pregnant. I'm only 4 weeks gone but so excited!
Crickey, we're all going to be mummies!
I'm 33 and 19 weeks pregnant. Am also a worrier!
Good luck to those with scans coming up!
Congratulations hetty! Good luck with your scan missikat.
Congrats hetty and massagegirl - good luck to those going back to work tomorrow. Hopefully this week will bring news of my scan and midwife appointments...
Am currently on the cocoa trying to be less anxious to try and get some sleep.
Those who are past the scan stage- who did you tell before scan? I want to tell everyone and noone. Have actually just told (male) boss and he's not much for pregnancy wisdom. Eee!
I'm 33 and 35 weeks pregnant with first baby. It's a very exciting time and I haven't really considered myself old though!! I'm a ft primary teacher and will be going back to work in September need the money! Am currently wishing the baby was here as at least my lack of sleep would have a purpose, ie feeding the baby as opposed to cant get blooming comfortable!
mayanbob, I told my parents and sisters before 12 weeks I figured if I had another mmc I'd want my family to know.
I told my boss at 10 weeks because I couldn't make a business trip for pg related reasons. I hadn't wanted to tell him so soon but he was lovely about it. I didn't tell anyone else at work until about 14 weeks because I kind of enjoyed keeping it quiet as long as I could.
pinkflipflop I hope the discomfort eases a bit and you can get some sleep.
I had my first sleepless night last night and am facing my first full 5 day week since before Christmas, with an hour+ commute each way I will be knackered come Friday. Thinking of asking to work two days a week from home from week 30.
I'm 42 and expecting my first. It was a bit of a shock. I'm not sure when it's due - probably May or June, I'm waiting for a scan appointment, I didn't pay attention to periods because I didn't think I needed to. I only found out on Boxing Day. My husband had a vasectomy 15 years ago (before we met), so I thought it was the menopause . My doctor told me that I'm an elderly lady, which made me laugh!
Thanks teapig It's been a long time without a baby in our family (youngest niece is 25) and I am reluctant to cause a freak out. Though I will tell them however this turns out...
I don't know if it helps anyone else, but I bought a maternity bra for sleeping at it has made my nights much more comfortable. Sleep has improved dramatically. Either way, I hope that everyone has a better night tonight.
Congratulations jsherriff I can't believe the Dr said that! My mum had me when she was 43 and has been fantastic.
Thanks for your thoughts, think I may struggle to sleep tonight!
Congrats hetty and jsherriff, what a surprise that must have been, very happy for you both.
I found it really hard to keep my mouth shut so although I haven't yet had my scan I've pretty much told everyone except people at work (although the amount of weight I've gained may be giving it away already, seeing as I've been a slimming world advocate since last Jan as part of my wedding prep!). I don't know how people wait until 12 weeks to spill the beans!
I'm joining in! 36 and will be 28 wks on Thursday. Good luck with scan tomo missikat! Hope everyone else is well.
I had to tell work early because of nature of job but tbey were very supportive and kept all confidential. I told others at 14 wks but we had bumpy first months so wasn't til after 20 wk scan that we really felt we could tell everyone.
Got mw appoint first thing in morning then first day back at work after took some extra leave after christmas so will try to sleep soon but be good to chat on here with you all
Someone close to me suggested that me being an older mum had made the preg difficult...hmmm. Another woman at work told me she was classed as old at 29 when she had her baby (5 years ago) No didn't believe her either!
Hello olympic and jsherriff!
How has everyone's days back at work been? I am exhausted! And fed up of being sick in disgusting staff toilet...
Missikat hope your scan went well - I am also a slimming world graduate - lost 3.5 stone before my wedding. Put a stone back on over the past couple of years and have just lost it again since being pregnant... But suddenly my stomach seems to have just expanded overnight - clothes that fit me at the weekend are tight today - clearly just bloating but sure someone at work is going to guess soon! Roll on the scan next Friday...
Hugs to you Eggy... thankfully I am only mildly nauseous at worst, but that sounds grim and I really think of you. Work for me is not so bad, I am thankful of something to take my mind off of miscarriages. Although I am slightly distracted and prone to random acts of madness.
I told someone at work today. She is a mum and my age (although had her baba a couple of years ago). Still, it's good to be able to tell someone... STILL no booking appointment though xx
Welcome to the new joiners!
missikat hope the scan went well today.
eggy I hope the sickness clears off soon, sounds horrible.
So much for my new year's resolution to enjoy being pregnant and stop worrying. I ended up calling antenatal triage on Sunday night as I hadn't felt movement in 24 hours. Tried all the usual tricks to get baby moving but nothing so they said come straight in.
We were taken into a delivery suite which freaked me out slightly, it really made the reality of having to give birth hit home. We were seen by a lovely MW who listened to baby's heart beat for a good five mins and pointed out lots of movement that I just couldn't feel, damned anterior placenta. MW said she wasn't worried and I've felt movement again since so guess our little one was just messing with us.
Hope everyone else is doing well and staying as worry-free as poss.
26 weeks tomorrow and already counting down until my maternity leave.
Hello Ladies can I join you?
I'm thirty three and 14 weeks tomorrow with my first. Professional worrier and compulsive symptom googler. Working full time hopefully as long as I can but not told work yet, trying to pluck the courage! Had my first scan last Saturday.
Motherhood here we come!
Hi can I join? I'm 34 and 16 weeks - was hanging with some other graduates in our conception thread, but we got a bit too busy discussing prams and were kindly evicted.
So hopefully this is a safe place to whine about weight gain and scans that are not coming up soon enough?
<follows Hazle in>
Hi ladies, I hope there's room for another? I am 34 and 15+6 with #1
Can I join too? Also been evicted along with hazle! I'm 14 weeks pg, and
a bloody ancient 38 years old
You're most welcome. Pull up a chair and make yourselves at home.
How's everyone doing?
I told mum today (by phone - she lives far away) and then we went and to dp's family this evening. It's early to do so I know (only 4+3) but we decided that these are the people we would need if anything happened. Everyone was overjoyed and it's been a wonderful evening!
I'm shattered now though!
Thanks for the welcome Hetty.
Wow, 4+3 you must still be in shock yourelf! We told close family pretty much straight away as well. I don't regret it and, like you said, I would have needed to turn to them if it had all gone south in the early days.
*Yourself..... I don't think there are any elves around here? Christmas is long gone!
It still doesn't feel real. I know I am pregnant but only externally - based on the test and the fact I have a midwife's appointment in a few weeks etc. Not because I really believe it's true. Do you see what I mean?
Also because I only came off the pill in November so thought it would take at least a few months.
I can't wait until I can tell my friends. Is it wrong that I want to tell them one at a time so as to be able to have maximum reaction?
I'm also another evictee from conception, with hazle and janey!
I'm 38 (39 next week) so older than most!
I'm 10 weeks tomorrow and the scan seems to never arrive!
Been too scared to join ante natal threads but now have my elderberry friends so feel a tad safer
Hetty I totally get the 'it doesn't feel real' thing. I'm est. 9 weeks tomorrow, and whilst terribly excited, I am still very terrified and still find it very surreal. I am dripfeeding information to people who don't know any other circles of friends... plus I really needed to talk to someone who had been pregnant to stop me feeling like such a lunatic.
Yes I see what you mean Hetty.... and the bad news is your mindset doesn't get any better as time plods along (well mine hasn't - I've seen mine on a screen but my brain still hasn't properly registered it).
You should tell your friends however the heck you want to. It's your moment so milk it to the max!
I had my scan today and everything went great. I finally saw little Sprout, she/he was chilling out but had a good strong heartbeat...I feel a lot more relaxed now. As I was measuring ahead at 14 weeks 3 days I wasn't able to have the NT part of the scan so have to wait for just the blood test at 16 weeks ish, too be honest I'm not too concerned as just happy to see and hear the heartbeat. I went straight from my scan and told my boss and rest of work colleagues which was a good feeling...I hate having to hide stuff! It all went well and my boss took it well as I thought he would. Hope you're all good.
Hetty, I know exactly what you mean. It does feel more real now having seen something but still not 100% sunk in even now 14 weeks down the line.
Welcome to the new evictees!
Teapig, very happy all is well...must have been very stressful.
I stumbled across this thread and just wanted to say congratulations to you all. I'm 37 and had my first baby eleven weeks ago, so spent most of last year feeling how you all feel now. Never thought it would happen to me, and I was/am so happy. Love my little boy more than I could ever imagine. So congrats, well done and good luck, it really is amazing!
Yay for the great scan news missikat it's so amazing to see baby on screen.
Congratulations and welcome to the new joiners!
hetty I know what you mean about it not sinking in. I've had weeks and weeks to get my head around it and still look at my bump in amazement.
Our little one has been very active this evening and I've been watching my belly move with the kicks. Amazing and only a little but freaky.
Morning - it's interesting that so many people are mentioning the lack of symptoms, same here. DH has been telling everybody that oh, all those pregnancy books talking about nausea, fatigue, emotions all over the place etc are just lying. I have tried to explain that some, or I'd even say most women indeed get them, but I don't think he believes me. I've been feeling just fine, no issues with work, sports or travelling. (well except for the constant paranoia that something is not right, which I see is also shared by many).
We told parents after 12 weeks, put the scan pic in their Christmas cards. Had told just a few friends and colleagues, but of course some of them had big mouths and once random people started congratulating me, had to tell the boss as well. She took it reasonably well - but I'm abroad and maternity leave here is just 3 months, so not like it will be a massive disruption anyway, will just have the summer off.
Ok, i'm going to plough straight in with a bit of a taboo (if there is such a thing in pregnancy), but have any of you ladies experiencing issues with bladder control?
I have felt on a few occasions recently that I was getting close to a little dribble when I sneezed but didn't, but I was TMI throwing up quite violently the other day (16 weeks - will it ever end?) and a little dribble actually came out. I was horrified! This has never happened before
except once on a trampoline when I was really drunk and laughing hysterically and I'm sure is due to pregnancy loosening all the muscles, but I am now worried that I am going to become one of those women who need Tena Lady for the rest of their lives. I am obsessively doing my Kegels every day and have been for a month or so but it would seem it's not working! Is it too early to work yet?
Rache, I can't quite believe I'm admitting this, but yes, it happened to me on Sunday night. Just the TEENIEST bit, but rather awfully it was when I sneezed just as I had my first ever nosebleed. So after the sneeze I a was a bloody, urine-y mess. As I think I said on the other thread yesterday, what with that and my (strangely) peeling boobs, I've never felt more attractive than I do now
gatsby - your post made me smile. Thanks for taking the time to post.
missikat - it's magical, isn't it. I bloody loved my scan, once the nerves
that there was nothing there had gone.
hazle - yes, I've had virtually no symptoms either, at least until the weekend with the peeling, peeing and nosebleed. My DP thinks it's all a walk in the park and that other women are wimps I think! Oh I say no symptoms. I have been a tad emotional - hence tears about feeling fat and horrible last night. Oops.
olympic , about your colleague being old at 29 - my mum's notes stated she was "elderly primigravida" when she was having me. She was 25. Good times have changed at least a bit.
Janey I am so glad it's not just me! And if we're like this now, what will we be like at 36 weeks? We will have to wear a massive nappy like a sumo wrestler!
No nosebleeds yet but I have a permanently snotty nose despite not having a cold and there is sometimes a bit of red when I blow.
This pregnancy malarkey is like something out of a horror film sometimes, and that's without the piles, varicose veins that many women get when they're further along
Afternoon everyone! I haven't had any leakage as yet but now you have all worried me - should I be doing some kind of pelvic exercises? I don't want to be wearing tena lady either!!
missikat so glad your scan went well.
belissima I know what you mean about the scan seeming an age away. My 12 week scan is Friday next week and I am counting the days. Just want it to be now so I can stop the worry a little bit.
rache poor you still being sick at 16 weeks. I am feeling sorry enough for myself at (almost) 11 weeks and being really sick all the time. If it makes you feel better a good friend of mine had terrible sickness and 16 weeks was when it ended so fingers crossed it will be the same for you!
Thanks Eggy. The sickness is definitely getting better now but I still get the odd bout.
Following my bladder stress, today I asked my Sister (currently 29 weeks) and my friend (28 weeks) who both said they are leaking on a daily basis and wish they'd started the Kegels much earlier. They are both going to birthing classes and the Midwife who runs the class told them that some leaking in the 3rd trimester is pretty much inevitable and that the benefit of the pelvic floor exercise is to stop it after the birth.
Gatsby - what a lovely message! and congratulations! how's motherhood??
rache and janey no leakage as yet.... though still early days, however am kegeling like mad now.
Missikat fabulous news on your scan! Bet it was great to finally tell people
When I mentioned to DH that there were others that had no real symptoms I was met with "no symptoms?!!! you're joking?" I suppose I did not consider my new spidey sense of smell and boob ache to be 'real' as I smell stuff and occasionally get tender boobs anyway. and I am more spotty... but it's all just more of what is often in existence anyway...
Still -Midwife phoned today and she's coming round next Thursday at 8pm? She states that virtually all their care is 'home care'. Is this normal??? I'm going to have to clean! She's also sending a scan card - so hopefully should hear about that soon. And she has asked me to think about whether I want nuchal transparency test or not. I have thought but not really thought about it before. So she's put me down so that I can opt out if I decide to later.
Despite the new wave of anxiety this brings, I am happy to have finally heard from midwife.
Lovely to get home from work and see the days goings on on here. X
May I have only seem my Midwife once so far (going again on Monday) but there has been no suggestion of her ever coming to my house! It would be really handy if she would though!
I was down to have a NT test at the scan but the Sonographer still asked if we wanted one, so no matter what you have in your notes I think you can still decide on the day.
Hello! Can I join too?
I'm 31, and this is my first pregnancy after a miscarriage in November. I'm still not very pregnant (somewhere between 5+2 and 4+5) and am constantly anxious. My last mc started at 5 weeks so I guess I'm just waiting.
Booking in appointment isn't until the 30th Jan, so that will be my next milestone if I get past this weekend.
Has anyone had an early scan?
Rache!! Can you please clarify what are kegels?!!!
Should I be doing this???
I've had two nosebleeds in the last 2 weeks. Not much but I've never had this before. Is it pg related?
I've not been sick once. Almost wish I had, I'm eating so much!
Hello Blol [waves]
How are you?
I can't stop eating. I'm never full. This is very very bad
as I'm already a fatty
Hi Anda and welcome. Really sorry to hear of your mc but congratulations on hitting the jackpot again so soon - great news! I had an early scan at 9+3 following some pain and bleeding (all was fine) but I assume you mean earlier then this?
Hi Rache thanks! I'm really worried I'll be the girl who gets pregnant easily but can't keep them. Need to be more positive!
I'm thinking of maybe 8/9 weeks, just for reassurance really. Although I know it's not the be all and end all, I think seeing a heartbeat might calm me down a little bit!
Hi Lol, they're just pelvic floor exercises. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise
I have no idea how many of them you're supposed to do but I try and do them daily while driving and when i'm weeing I stop the flow a few times.
Doesn't bloody well seem to be working yet though.
Anda I think Janey had one for reassurance around then so she might be able to tell you more when she pops on.
I'm sure everything will be fine. I totally understand your natural concern but this pregnancy has as much chance as any and shouldn't be affected at all by previous bad luck
Anda I had a mc in September so yes, had early scans this time - I'm not in the UK though and over here they are happy to scan you pretty much as often as you want. Also got pregnant immediately after that and so far, fx, everything seems to be going fine.
anda I also miscarried my last pregnancy at 6 weeks so I know exactly how you're feeling - it's terrifying getting past that point but fingers crossed for you- I don't think I'll stop worrying til my 12 week scan.
rache thanks for the links to kegels - will have to start these- feels really strange though!
mayan my midwife came to my house for my booking in appointment - that's all they seem to do in my area too- seems a little strange though!
Thank you all. I really appreciate the moral support and hand holding. I'm going to be a nightmare at the weekend - need to keep busy and away from Google.
Just to say that I too had the dribbling! Only happened when I was being sick in the morning! Yuk! I'm 36 weeks tomorrow and I haven't had it for a while, it's nice to know that what we think are horrific side effects of pregnancy other people are going through too.
Before I got preg I was slightly worried about how I would cope with it tbh, but it's really not that bad! Hope the childbirth bit is the same!
Hi I'm another evictee with Hazel, lol, Rach et al can I join too or are we taking over your thread? (Don't wan't to get asked to leave again!) 30 and about 14/15 weeks pregnant.
Welcome Anda and congratulations x
Hazle - Crazy how times, opinions have changed in one generation!
Rach yes i have accepted that
pissing yourself dribbling a little will and does happen! Was horrified but had rhinitis in first 4 months and sneezed violently non-stop for what felt like hours so...accepted that dribbling was gonna happen sometimes. And compared to nasty headaches I was just kind of oh I've wet myself again. Brilliant.'.Luckily only ever at home. Did I say I was 36? Spotty faced and smelling of wee.
Work has become seriously can't be arsed. Counting down to mat leave.
Has anyone further along got a really active baby too? My bumpfeels like a washi.g machine with a squirrell stuck inside. But ut's lovely.
Hope everyone well. Keep away from google doctors if you can or are worried x
Welcome Anda and congratulations x
Hazle - Crazy how times, opinions have changed in one generation!
Rach yes i have accepted that
pissing yourself dribbling a little will and does happen! Was horrified but had rhinitis in first 4 months and sneezed violently non-stop for what felt like hours so...accepted that dribbling was gonna happen sometimes. And compared to nasty headaches I was just kind of oh I've wet myself again. Brilliant.'.Luckily only ever at home. Did I say I was 36? Spotty faced and smelling of wee.
Work has become seriously can't be arsed. Counting down to mat leave.
Has anyone further along got a really active baby too? My bump feels like a washing machine with a squirrell stuck inside. But it's lovely.
Hope everyone well. Keep away from google doctors if you can or are worried x
Look, I tried to correct Typos and ended up double posting! Really can't type on this phone.
Hey purplemonster get yourself in here. Who has been evicting everyone? From where? And what did you do?! Well done anyway.
well we all started on the same conception thread but us pregnant ones got a bit carried away with pram and nursery discussions
No really, we did. Of course the ones still ttc, many for a long time, don't want to hear us discussing maternity clothes. So we came over to this side for those talks.
Did anyone watch One Born Every Minute tonight?
(ridiculously young) woman in labour: "I can't do it any more!"
Midwife: "You're going through transition, do you know what that is?"
Woman in labour: "No, what is it?"
Midwife: "It's the stage where women lose their minds."
Anda - I had a mmc before this pg too, found at 12 weeks, and like hazle all seems to be going well. So impossible as it feels, in all likelihood you're going to be fine. However, I spent over three weeks abroad at the end of last year, so paid for a reassurance scan before I went - and hearing the heartbeat was very reassuring indeed. However my EPU agreed to give me one for free due to my past miscarriage so it might be worth trying that? I just said I had no symptoms (true) and that I was worried sick (true) and they said I could go in the next day...
Rache - transition scares me... Don't really understand it!!
Right I'm off to bed. I went out tonight - shocker - and am tired. I can't believe that in 14 weeks I've gone from someone who was out boozing at least three times a week (and usually out until 1-4am on one of those nights) to someone who's tired after going out for dinner with friends!
Morning ladies, welcome to the newbies.
I haven't had any dribbling yet but am uping my game with the pelvic floor exercises now.
anda, try not to worry yourself. Easy to say I know but it won't help. I had an mmc at 11 weeks and this time around I was totally paranoid the same would happen again. I'm 26 weeks now and all looks good. Most women who mc go on to have a viable pg so the odds are in your favour.
Rache I didn't see OBEM, what the hell is transition? Sounds bloody terrible.
My NCT classes start next month, has anyone further along done NCT classes and if so how were they? I'm a bit worried they might be strongly advocating the gas and air route but I'm up for all the drugs I can get.
Teapig I have never heard of transition before but the implication from OBEM was that it's when you reach a point of labour that you decide you can't possibly go on and start unreasonably protesting to the midwife that you're giving up and the baby will have to stay in there forever.
I anticipate I will reach this point by about the third contraction
Lalala not listening. I think you're slightly loopy to watch it, I'm in total denial and staying far far away from the nasty reality of birth! In my head its going to be fine and I'm not going to watch anything on tv that might disillusion me
I first heard about transition when a friend of mine was telling me about her labour a few years ago. She's one of the most ladylike, polite, well-spoken people I know, but apparently started screaming at the consultant calling him the c word. Her lawyer husband kept apologising and saying she didn't mean it, at which point she was screaming that she bloody well did and called her husband the c word too...!
Apparently it the very end of the dilation stage of labour - I think getting from 7cm to 10cm or something like that. Contractions are thicker and faster
and even more painful, and I think you're knackered and it's before the final surge of energy/hormones for pushing. On the plus side it's apparently only for a very short period of time usually though?! But I think it's where the despair/swearing/madness sets in.
Lovely, can't wait
So transition is just before you shit yourself while pushing?
Me! I will be 36 when DC1 is born in August.
Ha, exactly rache. That's what it is.
Yes. Epidural. At least. Definitely.
Oopsie hi autumn from me too!
hazle - I'm think too scared for an epidural. You're sooo much more likely to need ventouse or
god forbid forceps with an epidural, and the aftermath of those TERRIFY me. It's basically a lose-lose situation as far as I can tell
Ah but as we know, if you exercise regularly during pregnancy, you will be 75% less likely to need an assisted delivery, so I think I'll just do a few more classes and have the epidural anyway
In realitly, we'll see, I seem to have quite high pain treshold - when i had surgery last year, I was always telling the nurses to go away with the painkillers as I didn't need any. But if I do, I'll take them.
I'm with you purple, I'm going to stick my head firmly in the sand and believe it will all be fine.
I was totally banking on an epidural but doesn't sound great either. I'm too scared to ask what ventouse is.
After all these years of evolution you'd think the vagina would be more cat flap-like.
This thread is brilliant, it's making me laugh out loud! Rach, that's the bit my husband has said he may struggle to scoop out the pool (we're hoping for home water birth...his job to keep it clean!!!)
We'll see though, I think I have a low pain threshold so maybe only gas and air will be a challenge. The water is meant to help though.
Teapig I can't believe after millions of years of human evolution, nature has decided that this is the best and most efficient way of growing a new human and then getting them out! It's horrific!
I can't help myself watching the birthing programs. I am dreading it but I can't stop watching in some sort of evil masochistic way And I have seen
the full horror a birth first hand so I know exactly what's coming!
I don't know what you're all worrying about, when the time comes I am just going to sneeze and ta-da one perfect baby.
pff sneeze - if you just you know, educated yourself and relaxed, you could simply breathe the baby out. sneezing means you weren't properly prepared, tsk tsk
I don't even think about giving birth.
I once watched a stand up comedy where the bloke said watching your wife giving birth is the same as watching your local being destroyed by a storm. You will always go back and have another pint but you will never forget the destruction you saw.
Hello! 33 and 29+2, though will be 34 by the time LO arrives unless he makes a very early appearance!
Currently in the throes of working out how to hand over my client bank in 8 weeks to someone I wasn't sure was capable of coping, but my boss was, (now less so, but it's a bit late!) while meeting massive work deadline at end of month, at the same time we have the builders in ripping the house apart and making a mess it would take me a week to clean up even if I wasn't the size of a whale and incapable of bending over. So all good .
On the plus side, no leakage yet. Just masses of discharge which might as well be (sorry TMI!). This pregnancy lark is so glamourous!
I watched OBEM and bawled eyes out while patrner hardly noticed I was crying or that it was on. He is reading Game of Thrones but reckon he just didn't want to know that hosp doesn't have a bar or you don't just sneeze and then get a baby.
He is actually really lovely and
deals with my hormonal moods and need for chocolate looks after me a lot.
Has anyone actually decided what they want about labour though?! I have a hypnobirthing cd to watch and want to know more about that. It's been in the house 3 months though so obviously a priority. But I think.it's impossible to say 'oh i want'...or is it just me?
Will see if consultant says can have water birth or if have to be at hosp unit..mw says to ask.consultant at 32 wk appoint cos i had high risk pg til half way point.
I think it's quite hard to decide what kind of labour to say you want. Yeah, erm I want the quickest, easiest, painless kind please. And a baby that sleeps from day one and never poos. Ta very much, that's great.
Havent got antenatal classes sorted yet but thinking of joining NCT as well. Hope everyone well.
Pud you are just ahead of me! 28 wks today. With you on the glamour of it all!
those who are further along - can you tell when you actually started looking pregnant? I'm 17 weeks now and look just fat - which is odd, as I have barely put on any weight according to the scales, but have definitely somehow acquired a lot more...volume. Waist has totally disappeared and while I was expecting to go up in bra cup size, I also had to go up a back size. Very annoying.
I think everyone's different Hazle I'm starting to get a few odd glances thrown at my stomach and I'm only 14/15 weeks but I think it's because I haven't really got bigger anywhere else just got massive funny shaped Tum so it looks odd but I'm definitely starting to look pregnant not fat because I'm all out of proportion and all stomach. To be fair I'm also much shorter than your average person so maybe it shows up more on my little body?
Actually on reflection it probably is more to do with your superior stomach muscles! Mine are clearly rubbish as I'm not a huge fan of exercise. If god had wanted me to run he'd have given me longer legs.
I am only 5,3" and I very much look fat rather than pregnant
I'm 5'11 and it's no better. I think I just look HUGE, a bit like a man in height and breadth now. I'm wearing some short going out shorts to work today as I'm out on the town tonight (reckon I will last until 10pm!) and began to feel vaguely attractive as I was getting dressed and doing my hair this morning... Then I couldn't do the zip up properly on the shorts (last inch is open at the back - but covered by my top thankfully) and tried putting heels on and decided I looked like a man in drag Settled for some boring flat pumps instead, and didn't bother with contacts instead of my glasses. Feel so frumpy now it's unbelievable. Feel bad moaning as clearly it's all totally worth that, and I'm delighted I'm pg, but this fatty feeling is a lot harder to accept than I'd expected...
Moan, moan, moan....
Yeah but you've still got a good 3 inches on me Rach, I'm SHORT.
It is silly isn't it because we all knew we were going to get fat but I'm finding it really hard, I just don't feel like me and I miss having a waist. I've never been fat before and I don't like it!
Sorry Janey but the thought of you looking like you're in drag made me snort with laughter!
I know purple. I guess like the dungarees it's funny to those not involved hey rache .
I was hoping for feminine and voluptuous, with a rather sexy little bump. Instead I kind of feel like I look like I'm growing a manly beer belly, and I ought to go out and play darts in the evening whilst eating pork scratchings and scratching my arse.
olympicvibes, I haven't thought about the kind of birth I want yet but think I'll probably opt for the quick and pain free kind too. I'm starting NCT classes next month so hope they will help me decide. At the moment ignorance is bliss.
Hazel, I think it was past 20 weeks before I started to get a bump that didn't just look like a bigger belly. At 17 weeks a lot of people still didn't know I was pregnant.
I really need to invest in some maternity clothes. With so much to buy for baby I don't really want to spend too much but I can no longer manage with one pair of maternity jeans and my baggyest non-pg clothes.
Has anyone found any not-too-frumpy but fairly cheap maternity clothes anywhere? I'm thinking of checking out H&M.
teapig, I have got nice things from Gap. Don't need maternity tops yet, but trousers were getting too tight.
Tea pig... I just got some jeans and tops in H&M not frumpy and very comfy!
Hormones are ridiculous, as is lack of appetite.. Just cried in a Toby Carvery because there weren't any boiled potatoes, then was only able to eat my peas and Yorkshire. Had to leave everything else. This better not continue for next 30 weeks.
- should add that I was able to laugh at this, but this only had the effect of making me look even more mad.
Thanks hazel and massagegirl, I will check out Gap and H&M.
Mayanbob, hope you get your appetite back soon. Being in a carvery and not being able to eat everything is like my worst nightmare.
Teapig I'm not really in maternity clothes yet but I did have a browse in H&M and they do seem to have a reasonable selection and quite cheap as well. It seems that not many shops stock maternity in-store and only do it online, which is too much of a faff for me as I can't be bothered to send stuff back and if there's one time in my life that I want to try stuff on before buying it's now!
May I have been quite pleased that I haven't been too emotional so far but there have been a few moments. I embarrassingly spent the whole of DSD's Nativity wanting to cry and having to suck it back up. I was really red-faced by the end. Personally I think potatoes are a serious matter!
Mayan the laugh/ cry hit me pretty much in 4th month. Can't remember one reason for crying now. (anyone else got pregnamemory fog?) It just hits you doesn't it? The hormones are crazy. I also started having incredible dreams about people in my past as if I was saying goodbye to an old life.
We are going through an incredible thing!
teapig I got h&m over the bump skinny jeans to start with and found some really comfy jegging things in the mamas & papas sale. I also found pretty tops, some work trousers n dresses in mothercare. Bigger size tops are often just as good as maternity & where I live there are NO shops with matwear so had to go with nearest shops available. Online great if you know right size. Oh New Look ok for tops too.
I was suddenly really bloated from early on and didnt have a baby bump for while but water retention was so ridiculous that I looked big straight away and people would say so but it just felt like jelly belly to me. I ate more in 1st tri too and felt fat. Now have lovely bump ( and a fairly big bum-don't care now but was strange adjusting to changes early on. ) Not at proper waddling stage yet.
Hi there. 32 (33 in March) 28 weeks today with my first and expecting a giant baby boy, apparently.
Hello all, I'm 32 at the end of Feb, 9 weeks today with my first!
First time posting in a forum, I've decided not to tell anyone just yet (apart from here) until after the scan.
Booking appt on the 25th not had a lot of symptoms really apart from being extremely bloated!
Gave up smoking before Christmas and can't bare the thought of ever having one again which is great news, oh and food has never tasted better.
Hope everyone's well
Hi First and Jsa and welcome!
Wow, I bet you're looking forward to birthing a giant, Jsa
I'm really not, he's got a giant head to match! (That's my OH's fault) they will check again at 31 weeks and if he's still measuring big I'll be referred to a consultant. Fingers crossed he doesn't grow anymore, I'm only small!
congratulations to all the new mum's to be. I wish I could relax and stop worrying so much, I have convinced myself something terrible has happened and we will get bad news on Thursday at our 20 week scan. still not felt any movement and although I think I have a small bump I dont think it has changed in the last couple of weeks.
Curlycaz - I didn't feel anything for sure until 20, apparently it depends on the position of the placenta, if it's at the front you apparently feel movements less. Good luck for your scan
Welcome to the new joiners!
Thanks for the tips on maternity wear, I will check out H&M today.
Olympic I know what you mean about memory fog, I keep forgetting small things. Often walk into a room and can't remember what I was going to do. Baby brain is officially here.
curly don't worry about not feeling movement. Plenty of people don't feel it until later on. As jsa says it can depend on the position of the placenta. I have an anterior placenta and because it's at the front it's cushioning lots of movement so I can't feel it. I first felt movement at about 24 weeks and had scare last week when I hadn't felt any for a day. Got it checked out and baby was moving loads, I just couldn't feel it. Good luck with your scan sure it will be fine and amazing to see baby.
Hello all, 33 and on my first, and currently 22+5. I don't feel like an 'older mum' at all! Possibly because I'm in London and lots of friends are also in their 30s and professional workers, so it's quite common for us to all be waiting until we're a bit further on.
Still working FT, expecting fully to go back (although want to take a year off - can't afford it but sod that. It's not as if it'll be something I'll regret later on).
Feeling fine, but work is pretty tiring at the best of times with long hours etc (been in the office 10 hours already today, no lunch break, it's Saturday...blah). Looking forward to finishing up around the 37/38 week mark although someone just told me today their wife worked right up until the day before her due date on both pgs!
won't catch me doing that....
Hi Beaver, I hope you have now made it home from work?!
I am also planning to take a year off and I suspect it will go way too fast. I would also like to go back part time initially but I haven't mentioned that yet so I will have to see how that little chat goes!
These days I see an 'older' Mum as 40+ and even that's relatively common nowadays. Most of my friends have waited until they were in their 30's before they had their first baby as they were much more settled both financially and emotionally
and had spent the whole of their 20's getting pissed and having a good time.
Also planning on a year off and going back for three days, again not sure how that little gem will go down with work. I've always been one of the committed ones! Working up till 38 weeks (10 weeks to go and counting), not struggling too much at the moment but it helps that my commute is a five min walk. The tiredness does hit me as soon as I get home. Am looking to drop down to a nine day fortnight as of Monday as I've still got so much to do!
I'm abroad. There's no maternity leave before birth, only with doctor's note. 3 months maternity leave, that's it.
And I'm originally from a country where the parental leave (so either mum and dad can take it) is 3 years, 1,5 years with full pay - quite a difference.
I shall be taking 6 months mat leave. Have booked 11 days before that so roll on mid March! So much to do before then though! My OH is then taking on the rest of my mat leave, so doing 3 months at home and then hoping to negotiate to 3 days pw (fx!) as my job have made it clear they don't see how I could perform my role PT.
When to start on maternity is an interesting one for me. I had assumed I would work until 38 weeks, but had an informal chat with HR where they informed me I will have to take all of my holiday leave plus bank holidays if I am planning on returning in a different financial year (which I am) before starting on actual maternity. If I say I will start maternity later and then the baby arrives early then any remaining holidays will be lost, and based on holiday pay being much more than maternity pay it would be silly to end up losing some.
All this means I will probably be finishing at around 32 weeks with 8 long, boring weeks still to wait
Oh I'd love to finish early and just potter around and shop for babystuff
Part time also not an option for me, but I might be able to negotiate some work from home, maybe one day per week or so at least for a few months.
I'm planning to finish work at about 37 weeks. I'm taking a few weeks holiday and planning to start my maternity leave the week of baby's due date, unless our little one has other ideas and arrives early. I get paid for any holiday I don't take so I'm trying not to take very much as it will help us out finanically.
I'd love to take the year but not sure whether we can afford it as I'm the main earner. I think we'll decide when baby has arrived and we've had a few months of getting used to there being three of us. I think I just need to let work know 2 months before I want to go back so no need to make a decision yet.
I'd also love to go back part-time. My ideal scenario would be to work compressed hours, squeezing a four day week into three days with two days in the office and one from home. I doubt work will let me but fingers crossed. Again planning to cross that bridge later on.
Hope everyone has had lovely relaxing weekends. DH has started painting the nursery, I can't wait to furnish it and get loads of cute stuff.
I changed my name, from jsherriff. I still haven't had a scan, so I'm going to ask the dr to chivvy the hospital - I need DATES! I also need to see that it's real, although there are definitely some signs - I had to get off my bike cycling up a very small hill, due to itchy skin which was a bit weird. Anyone else had itchy skin when exerting themselves? I made the mistake of trying to run for a bus last week and felt ill all evening. I'm keen to see that everything is ok, since I didn't know about it for so long and didn't do any of the things you are supposed to do in the first 12 weeks or so.
I've had fluctuating weight over the years so I'm currently wearing my 'fat' trousers and hoping that I will be given some secondhand maternity clothes quite soon. (I'm a nanny, so there is a good chance!)
I've had a nice relaxing weekend camping after a manic temp job last week (4 children!) so although the cycling was hard, it did feel like a rest. The only dificulty was making myself get out of a nice warm sleeping bag to go across a frosty field to a loo at 3am! Not something I've often had to worry about, previously.
Morning ladies, I'm still feeling pretty good but Crickey Moses am I weeing! I drink a pint of milk and a cup of tea in quick succession yesterday and went to the loo about 5 times in the next hour! Still it's all very exciting.
I'm a bit worried about the weather though. I walk about 15 mins to work and I'm frightened I'm going to fall over - not the most elegant at the best of times! Are walking boots better than wellies do you think?
Hetty I think you need footware with really good grips. No snow or ice where I am at the moment but when my SIL was pg she wore crampons and apparently they were fantastic.
I think walking boots are much better than wellies - I wear walking boots or shoes almost all the time. If it gets very bad you can get Yak-Trax that fit over your boots and are slightly less industrial than crampons! I'm off to get my flu jab in a minute - no doubt to shock the nurse with my advanced age !
Hi Everyone, you will be pleased to know that there have been no more potato crying incidents. Although I now cry at that stupid coca-cola advert with the CGI polar bears. Have just got back from spending the weekend with DH at the Lakeside Darts -Epic, tiring but fun.
not nearly as fun sober
JSA and first welcome!!!
cyclecamper YES to itchiness when over exerting (although not to your cycle/ running standards)
particularly on my boobs
Hetty I have walking boots which have served me well in the past... but crampons sound a wise decision given the tendency for pregnancy wobbles.
Re: when to finish for work... I haven't really thought about it that much (though this is assuming I'll have a job - work for Probation Service which has just gone tits up- HURRAH )... my current role involves some risk and a lot of stairs, so think I may take 4 weeks leave prior to leaving at 38 weeks... I base this on no other consideration than just choosing some numbers right now.
Still no scan date, but holding out till booking appointment on Thursday. eeeek!
I'm currently unemployed, and pretty much unemployable . I can temp for a bit, although that is tricky whilst I'm waiting for appointments, but it should be easier when I've had a scan and stuff. I don't know how we are going to manage later - I can't take a brand new baby to a temp job and I'm rather lacking in qualifications to do something different. I'm sure some bright idea will strike!
Hope something turns up soon cycle is it general temping that you do or specific? Have you tried temping for local council? a friend of mine got a permanent job through them that she could do from home, only going into the office occasionally... I know that is a bit of a specific situation, but it's an idea. Plus some bigger companies have childcare.
Good luck though- and if we can help in anyway.
Hi all- haven't posted for a while as been laid up with a migraine for days but back at work now (not completely sure which is worse!)
It's reassuring to see the rest of you having similar issues with feeling ill at work, worrying about going back after maternity leave etc. I will definitely have to go back- would so like to go down to 4 days but my boss has a track record of saying a big fat no to everyone who has asked to go part time in the last couple of years after their maternity leave...
At least I don't have the problems that others of you have with deciding when to go on maternity leave though as I am a teacher and due 1st August (I think - find out for sure on Friday!) so will just work up until the summer holidays start.
What other things are people worrying about? I feel like I worry about everything and anything at the moment!!
That's great conception timing for a teaching job Eggy! Well done to you and your DP/H!
I am worrying about most things but disguising it well to most people I think.
I'm 16+6 and worried about possible findings at the anomaly scan. I'm worried about my changing body shape and the fact that I don't like it very much when I probably should be enjoying/embracing it. I'm worried about going back to work after maternity leave. I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUT THE BIRTH
and being left with a wizard's sleeve. You name it, i'm worried about it!
Hope something turns up for you soon cycle. Sounds like very good timing for you eggy.
I had the day off work today and went to Ikea to get some furniture for the nursery. I hope we're not buying things too soon but can't wait to transform the spare room into baby's room.
As for worrying about things I can tick off everything on Rache's list and probably have a few more besides. My top worries are:
the terrifying prospect of my belly button becoming an outie
not doing enough of the things we won't be able to do when baby arrives
birth - there are probably 100+ worries I have with that
taking care of a new born - what to do I do?!
still birth - sometimes I worry that it will all go wrong at the last minute
affording maternity leave - we are going to be counting the pennies
going back to work - not sure what agreement I'll come to with hours etc
That's just the top 7! But actually since turning 25 weeks I have started to relax a lot more, would you believe it? 27 weeks tomorrow, yay!
teapig love the fact that your belly button is at top place of your list of worries! But also have many of the same worries as you- mainly the work and money ones.
rache would love to say that this was good timing but DH and I have been trying for well over a year now so just pure coincidence!
And when you say you name it you're worried about it - I can definitely sympathise with that - I listened to a radio programme about autism object the way home and then spent a good couple of hours worrying about how we would cope if our child had autism...
So considering I am having my 12 week scan on Friday - would you say you guys are worrying less - or more - than you did at my stage?
Eggy it's certainly reassuring to see and hear that everything is ok at the 12-week scan. The relief lasts about half a day until you start worrying about the 20-week one.
Eggy Hmmm, that's a tough question. I would say I am worrying less since the 12 week scan, but about more things if that makes any sense?!
Pre 12 weeks all I could think about was it all going south and was convinced it would at any moment. Post 12 weeks I feel more confident that this whole shebang will result in an actual baby but I am worrying about everything which surrounds that prospect. I think once you get a BFP you don't stop worrying about your offspring until the day you die!
Still waiting for a scan/mw appointment. Going to call the dr tomorrow if there is still nothing - by her calculations I must be coming up to 19 weeks and I don't have a due date or anything!
mayanbob I am a nanny - so finding longer term work when pregnant or with a tiny one is going to be tricky . There are so many times in the last 15 years when I had a job that I could have taken maternity leave from and then taken my baby to work with me and I had to find out that I was pg when I was between jobs . Ho hum, I'm sure it all be fine and I'll think of a hitherto undiscovered talent that I can use to work from home.
cyclecamper - wow to you being a nanny but alas I am afraid I have absolute zero experience of that area. Will keep my fingers crossed for you though. X
As for worries... I am Pre 12 weeks, so main massive worry is 'is it ok'???
I also have developed the tiniest of pains (not even sure it is a pain, might just be a feeling) on my left side, so am worried about that.
Not too worried about birth, but worried about how What on earth you do- and terrified that i'll get PND and my baby will get taken away by social services. .
Other than that - I'm absolutely fine
Rache what a lovely thought - a lifetime of worry!
Cycle definitely chase for your appointment - it's so annoying waiting for other people!
mayan try not to worry about the pain in your side. I had surgery to remove a fallopian tube 8 months ago so I've been in quite a lot of pain on my side since I've been pregnant but I'm actually reassured by it as the doctor assured me this would definitely happen as my uterus grows. You may not have the scar tissue but I think a lot of the little pains/twinges on the sides are growing and stretching pains so it's all a good thing.
My latest worry is seeing the weather report this morning and now I'm worried that my scan on Friday will be cancelled because of the snow- I don't know how I'll cope if it's delayed!
Eggy and Mayan Thanks. I'll call the dr to chase the appointment this afternoon. I'm not too worried about pregnancy - I've spent my life around pregnant women and seem to be getting off pretty lightly so far! Not too worried about the birth - I've seen a few of those too, and I don't think worrying is going to change what happens, so I'm going with the flow. Not worried about the baby - likewise, I've dealt with a few so can probably cope with what turns up!
I am only really worried about how we are going to afford me not working - had I known I was going to be pg, I would have paid off my credit cards last year instead of buying a new tandem , because I find that I really really really don't want to drag a baby to work with me. The problem with nannying is that you get paid the same net per hour permanent as you do gross per hour temping so you end up seriously out of pocket if you temp for any length of time.
My other worry is my husband - I can see him panicking and if he panics, he gets depressed and I don't know how to stop that happening. He needs a new job, but has had too much sick time in the last year to reasonably look, and there is no guaranteeing that he would be happier after a job move even then . I feel guilty for (unintentionally) making things more complicated around here than they already are.
Well the appointment finally arrived in the post at 2.30pm today. For a scan at 2pm today! I phoned and explained and they re-scheduled for tomorrow. The frank was dated yesterday so goodness knows what went wrong there, they reckoned the appointment was made a while ago so it must have been floating around a post room or something.
I'm a bit weepy today.
Oh cycle that's so rubbish - hospital admin can be so slow - glad you got it rebooked for tomorrow. Sorry you've got so many other stresses going on - I'm sure things will sort themselves out soon x
hugs to you cycle (however unmumsnetty that is) and so sorry that you have stuff on and are feeling a bit crappy.
You must try to remember that you aren't making things more complicated -even though it may seem that way at the minute, and I bet you everything will be just fine -whatever life throws up.
Good luck with your scan tomorrow! You seem to be very good at sorting things out- I'd probably try to blame myself (or poor DH) and then still have no scan.
Am quite jealous of your experience with babies.... I seriously haven't a clue. Only have a couple of not uber close friends with babies, and my youngest neice is 25- so haven't got any family practice either. I hope you'll share your wisdom.
hope your scan goes well today cycle and it is really good they got you in so quickly.
I have my anomaly scan this morning I know I should be excited but I am worried about things going wrong.
Good luck curly, I still have weeks til mine and understand the worrying..
Everything is fine and it is a boy ! now we just need to think of names as OH does not like any boy's names.
Congrats. I'm having a boy too. After much discussion we have agreed on Louie
Congrats curly - fantastic news!
Congratulations curly! That's great news! A little boy, how exciting.
We found out that ours is a girl and after much discussion we've whittled it down choices but not sure I'm brave enough to share them, got a lot of mixed feedback on the name boards. I hadn't realised how tricky choosing a name is until now.
Hey Curly Congratulations on the Scan! Brilliant news! and jsa Louie is a lovely name.
i'm nervously waiting for my midwife to arrive for my booking appointment... I know it's not something you can pass or fail... but still.
Is everyone on here finding out the sex? I hadn't even thought yet.
I am also absolutely knackered so I hope I don't fall asleep before hand!
Congratulations Curly! Lovely news!
We have been for a gender and well-being scan tonight. All seems well and we are having a girl, which I am pleased about
How did your booking go, Mayan?
Thanks Rache Congratulations on your scan and your little girl! How excited must you be?
re: booking, She just left! Was very nice. It seems I get community midwife care because I
live near a dodgy area have a particular postcode. Means she'll always come to see me. Plus when if I go into labour, they come out to see how you're doing and tell you when you need to go in and I have mobile contact 24 hours a day.
Also -and this is the most exciting... our local swimming pool does free swimming for pregnant ladies. Whoo hoo!
Am currently more excited than worried.... expect normal service to resume tomorrow.
mayanbob I'm trying not to find out the gender. I had a scan today - 19 weeks tomorrow! That means I was nearly 16 weeks when I found out ! It's definitely there though, I'm not halucinating! It seems possible that it's actually true now. I should hopefully get a midwife appointment next week sometime. Free swimming classes for pregnant women? I wonder if they do that near me? I'll have to look, since I'm not up to much in the way of walking or cycling, which are my usual exercises.
cycle camper - I think most council run pools do it, fingers crossed
Congratulations Rache! Hooray for team pink
So lovely to hear all the great scan news. Happy weekend everyone.
Hey cycle 19 weeks!!! congratulations... you've seen it! that's fantastic news. - give your local pool a ring- I certainly didn't know ours did it until MW said.
Still can't wait to have news from mine. MW says I should hear int the next couple of weeks.
I am having to take a days leave from work today because i'm not going to walk 3 miles in the snow. (the busses have only just started running now) ... so watching the snooker but a bit bored tbh. There is useful stuff I could be doing but just can't.
Hope all you ladies are safe in the snow (well not actually in it obvs)
No snow at all where I live, woo hoo!
We have some, but roads are clean. It's pretty.
Thanks Teapig and Mayan. I am looking at super cute baby girls shoes online already. Team pink is definitely going to cost me more!
Mayan I really like the sound of your home care Midwife. I wish mine did that.
I've got loads of snow, more on the way and roads are a nightmare. Why are we so unable to cope with any kind of weather in the UK? When we go on skiing holidays they cope absolutely fine with the bucketloads of snow they get and life carries on as normal.
rache so lovely you're having a girl!
I had my 12 week scan today - everything looking healthy and happy - I have a very lively little bean in my belly! Due 28th July. So relieved
As for snow it went in my favour as I missed work in the morning for my scan and then got a call from my boss telling me not to come in for the afternoon as the school was just chaos. So had a lovely snow day!
purple jealous at your lack of snow. I usually like it but just spells hassle for me at the moment.
Rache I'm impressed with this midwife thing as well. I do admit that I was terrified before she came.. Is the house clean?... will I 'pass'...? etc etc but it seems great. I suppose there are some advantages to living
near the dodgy area that I hadn't considered. I quizzed her at lenth over who gets this as I don't remember my friends who live relatively near me mentioning that they had home visits... I suppose it's entirely possible that they did and I just didn't listen. However, it's all to do with SureStart funding apparently and there are a few 'pockets' which get this.
I was only thinking today that if bean becomes a girl then that gives a lot more dressing up opportunities than a little boy... So exciting!!
Now to get impatient waiting for the scan appointment. The next fortnight is going to be a looong one.
Our snow has stopped for now. Thank goodness. I just hope that no-more comes over the weekend. x
Great news about your scan Eggy It makes it a lot more real once you've seen it doesn't it?
Eggy didn't see your post! (must have been writing mine)... congrats on the Scan! Great news X
eggy, that's great news! Congratulations!!
Thanks everyone! Spent a long time looking at the photo so far this weekend
mayan the midwife in my area does home visits too for some reason - quite convenient for when we get a bit bigger!
Aww no home visits for me, although it's only a 10 min walk. 30 weeks next week, cannot believe how fast it's gone.
Glad everyone else is well.
Eggy - result isn't it? And enjoy that picture
-not long for you now JSA how are you feeling???
Me- I'm good. Still more excited than worried which is nice. However DH has the man flu and has given up smoking wef from last week... which would normally elicit sympathy and aww noises... but actually, just feeling a bit as though I might want to kill him I might have had more sympathy had he not re-taken up smoking when he found out I was pg. I am very proud of him for quitting, however, this does not give him an excuse to act like a complete idiot.
Whinge over.... now to do my NVQ work which I have managed to procrastinate about all day today
Mayanbob - feeling pretty good a part from extreme tiredness and a general fear of actually having to get the baby out! How far along are you?
Sorry to here about your DH, although it's a bit of a mad to to take up smoking. Men!
Glad to hear you're feeling pretty good Jsa - i'm preferring not to think about the actual giving birth bit yet.
i'm early days yet. 10+4 ... and pre-scan so am intermittently going between being a nervous wreck, a hormonal beast with low tolerance levels (however, this has the knock on effect of making me pretty sharp at work), and an over-excited lunatic.
Will be much happier if I can see that it's all okay.
Fingers crossed for you, not long to go until scan time! I cried at mine as I was convinced they were going to tell me there was nothing there.
Mayanbob Probably best to resist killing your DH - he might come in useful later. I'm a lot happier since the scan - seeing that everything is in the right place and that it wasn't all in my imagination!
We went to the Bike/Outdoor shows today - there were rather more steps, especially snowy, wet ones, than I was happy with on the journey - I felt a bit of a fraud on the way back, using the lift at Shadwell DLR station, but I was done in and there are quite a few steps there, all covered in slush - I've discovered a hitherto unknown cautious side! The shows had a limited amount of interesting stuff, although there were some lovely cycling clothes for ladies (I bought a rain apron that doubles as a picnic rug!). They had some cool baby seats and the tandem people had an adaptor for a maxi-cosi seat that fits on my tandem - I was very excited! Now I just need someone to give me a seat that fits it, and I can order one .
The bike show sounds good cycle. I would very much like to have LO on the back of my bike when she's big enough so I must check what the options are.
mayan I hope the manflu clears up for your DH soon and he sticks at quitting smoking.
I'm coming up to 28 weeks now and suddenly time seems to fly. I'm also blocking out the birth bit until NCT classes start and I have to stop sticking my head in the sand.
Hope everyone is doing well in this icy weather.
cycle you are probably right. Still - he's out tonight, so therefore is probably safe. Your bike stuff sounds very good... I am rubbish at riding bikes- we just don't get on. Went to Centreparcs and just ended up with very bruised lady-bits - couldn't for the life of me work out what I was doing wrong.
teapig ... thanks for the wishes... I will pass it on. I did the Boots trip, so he should be appropriately dosed up tomorrow.
Have meeting with NVQ assessor tomorrow. Basically i'm going to have to come clean about being pg because I found out a 2 weeks after our last meeting and haven't done anything productive since.
mayanbob padded shorts are the answer to bruised ladybits, although mine are rather more sensitive at the moment, so even the shorts aren't really enough. The centre parcs bikes are a bit lumpy as well, which won't have helped! I hope your DH responds quickly to the treatment. What are you doing an NVQ in? I need to do one but I don't know exactly what and I haven't got any money to start it at the moment - joys of unemployment: time to do stuff but no money to do it with.
Today my only achievement has been to clear the pavement of ice outside mine and my neighbour's house - mainly because it was melting a bit and going to freeze into a solid sheet tonight, but also because I need at least some fresh air!
Can I join in? I am 32 this week and about 5 weeks along - am a v impatient person so want to tell everyone and also don't know how I am going to cope with 9 months of waiting for baby to arrive! Also a worrier - desperately want my first scan to see that everything is ok. Trying to be as positive as possible but I have 4 friends who have recently had mmc so it's difficult not to worry a little..
Also got work concerns - I got this job after the previous person went on maternity and she got a bit sidelined when she came back (it's a v male orientated environment) but that is a long time away and much more to worry about before then!
Thanks for the padded shorts tip cycle I had no idea that such things existed. (novice) I will bear that in mind.
I'm doing my NVQ in Probation Practice - it's a work thing, although as their getting rid of the Probation Service I am not sure what the point is any more. ah well. What area are you in cycle? London was it? we have some women's projects in our area that are supposed to be quite good which do some trainings for free. I don't know if there's anything similar where you are but could be worth a look. (even if the training isn't any good- the ones round this way do all sorts of courses and even craft stuff)
Well done for ice clearing. I just lay exhausted on sofa post work.
Welcome afrikat and welcome to the worry! I am definitely a worrier too - 13 weeks now so at least have had my 12 week scan and all looked good there. Best of luck to you
mayan I'm very impressed that you are managing to do your nvq work after work. I am still going to bed pretty soon after I get home from work at the moment- still so tired! I thought the tiredness was meant to go away with the nausea? Haven't been sick for a week (hurray) but still totally exhausted with constant headaches (boo).
How's everyone doing in the ice/snow? I didn't go to work yesterday as my boss told me not to come in but school is open as usual today so I now have to drive on the ice rink that is my estate- terrified!
eggy I still haven't really cleared the tiredness, although it is at more manageable levels now, and I had no sickness at all. As far as I can see, pretty much every variation of every symptom is totally normal.
mayan That sounds like an interesting NVQ. I'm sure ther will be some use for it, I can't see the current thinking on probation and such lasting long. I'm in south London. I'm sure there will be something, I'll investigate further at some point. The advantage of being unemployed is that I can lie around on the sofa for most of the day and save a burst of energy for snow-clearing and cooking tea in the evening! The disadvantage is that I'm not sure how we are going to pay the rent for the next six months. I reckon we can manage this month, but after that we are going to have to tap my father in law for a loan, I think. If he can't help I don't know what we are going to do.
Hi All, would like to join the group too! I am 33 and 15 weeks pregnant today. Also worry about every little thing but finding this group and reading some of the comments has been so reassuring :-)
Well Hello everyone! Having had a day of worrying (tell you why in a minute) I have just joined mumsnet and spent the last hour reading this thread - some great support and advice out there girls, thanks!
I'm 38 and 18 weeks following my second round of IVF, having had a mmc after the first round in the summer. I think i'm getting away with most symptoms quite lightly, but then that just makes me worry more, in case the bump has stopped developing....
Reason for worrying today though was - I went to Pilates class (as advised by my MW) and the teacher commented on the fact that she thought I wasn't showing much. I had already been wondering about my bump - or rather lack of any specific bump-like-shape, and feeling generally just rather round and lardy! So this comment has now fuelled my panic stations in my head!
reassurance please!!! I heard the heart beat last week at MW appointment, so i'm sure nothing can have changed since then.....my OH is trying to be logical and help me to see reason, but pregnant ladies don't do sensible thought processes do they.?!
Nice to meet you all...
Hi bexi and welcome!!
I'm also 38, and a couple of weeks behind you (16 weeks) but know what you mean about the worry. But wanted to say do NOT worry about showing, we're all different. I'm 5'11 and not skinny at a size 12, and so assumed I'd show rather late as there's plenty of room, but am starting to show now (as in feel fat and have a bit of a tummy - like I've eaten a bit too much or have wind). My DSIL however, is a size 6 and about 5'6, and said to me the other day 'of course, like me, you won't start showing at all until about 20 weeks', which made me feel like a right lard-arse. You'd think that she, out of everyone, would show as there was NOWHERE for the bump to hide! But once she mentioned it I remembered that yes, she was teeny tiny for AAAAAAAGES and didn't even tell her boss until 20 weeks as no-one could have guessed.
Point being we're all different. So please please don't worry about some
nosey teacher commenting as I'm sure you'll be huge and hating it before you know it!
Oh, and I'm also
worryingly symptom free!
Welcome to the new joiners! This thread is a lovely place to share the worry.
I figure from the day you get pg worrying about the LO is part of the job description.
I totally agree with what janey said, we're all different and it's not worth trying to compare with others. From what I've read no two pregnancies are the same.
I'm 28 weeks tomorrow and haven't had any symptoms at all, apart from heartburn from about 24 weeks but that seems to have eased off now. I was googling symptom free pregnancies like mad for the first 20 weeks and expecting the worst but all seems fine. I wouldn't worry and just enjoy, easy to say I know.
bexi, I've had a complex about the size of my bump too. I'm 5'7 I think and a size 10-12 usually and it took ages for me to have a fully fledged bump. At 17 weeks I went on a business trip and no one had a clue I was pg, though they may have thought I'd been putting the pies away. My bump still seems compact but the MW was pleased with it so that's enough for me.
cycle, I hope that something sorts itself out soon. We've been through some tough times with DH being out of work and existing on a tiny freelance income and each time it seems to have led to something better. I'm sure things will come together for you.
Thank you Teapig. It's very frustrating.
My appointment for the midwife booking came today - 7th Feb! I'll be nearly 22 weeks by then, although I suppose it's a good sign that they don't seem to think it's urgent.
I've had very few symptoms - wind, tiredness and back ache being about it. I think that makes us the lucky ones!
I just spotted this thread last night on my commute home and wanted to jump in and say hi! (Especially to Teapig who's on the April board too [waves!])
I'm 35, 36 on 3rd Feb, having my first (after a loss in 2011) due on 23 April, so 27+1 today. Oh, and we're having a girl and can't wait to meet her in three months time!
I've perused the thread and can identify with the commuting and budgeting issues (I'm a freelancer too and will only get MA, no SMP). But I'm really looking into the frugal/green living thing and have been finding some amazing (usually american) websites that are inspiring me.
Oh, and I also found this cool animation of the developing pregnant body today and where all the organs go as the baby develops. I found it after wondering just where my stomach is at the moment as the heartburn is still rife. Take a look: http://www.msichicago.org/whats-here/exhibits/you/the-exhibit/your-beginning/make-room-for-baby/interactive/
Now lets try and make it live... www.msichicago.org/whats-here/exhibits/you/the-exhibit/your-beginning/make-room-for-baby/interactive/
Hi Grow, that's an interesting animation. If only the birth was going to be as easy as it's shown there!
Hey grow! Great animation, that'll explain the heartburn then . If you have any links to the frugal/green living thing please do share. I'm all about frugal at the moment and could do with inspiration.
28 weeks today, feels like a milestone
Hello everyone new. Lots of worry here but lots of support too!
Eggy .... as if on cue this week I have been so tired! unable to do anything of use. I thought it was supposed to get better as time goes on, but this week has really knocked me for six. can't even cook- just grazing.
Still no scan date so will text the midwife tomorrow to see if she's got a number I can ring. Letter from NHS today but was exemption cert.
Fortunately the mass tiredness has also got rid of any homicidal feeling for poor DH.
I am less worried about the lack of symptoms... as nothing will be the 'solid' symptom that I want apart from seeing the little bean. And whilst all the things I do have- constipation, tiredness, slight nausea, spidey sense of smell, crying over complete random things- do exist in normal life, I guess having all of them together and the continued lack of bleeding indicate that things are going well.
- for your amusement, the latest crying top two are 1) blubbing when colleagues work contract was extended for a year because I was so happy (blamed PMT and think I got away with it)
2) Actually sobbing in the car when DH said we could get a KFC snack box and I wouldn't have to cook
Thanks teapig and mayanbob!
Some of them are blogs like this one: cheaphealthygood.blogspot.co.uk/
And the hilariously titled, 'penniless parenting! www.pennilessparenting.com/
And i love this one (plus she has a pinterest board and I'm obsessed with pinning!) makingdowiththenotsonew.blogspot.co.uk/
And talking of tearful, I'm on the edge of a blubber for no reasons apart from tiredness after a crappy night's sleep and leg cramps this morning - my new symptom!
ooh how exciting - I will be looking at all these links over the weekend!
Cycle I can't believe that you will not get to see the MW until you are 22 weeks. Talk about postcode lottery. Somebody else mentioned home visits - I had my first appt at home with the MW, which was most pleasant and chilled.
Grow - have you already tried growing your own fruit and veg? I've been attempting some "easy" (!) items, over the last few years with varying degrees of success. I think you really need to be in the garden every day, planting a new batch of this and that seedlings out, whilst harvesting what has grown to perfection and not been munched by slugs, snails and puppy dogs tails! Can you tell it is not going well on the horticultural front? We ended up with 20 lettuces all ready at the same time, millions of green tomatoes, and bags of potatoes (That, I can do seemingly) just when my OH decided to eat less carbs!!!
Think I'll stick to flowers.
I am an allotmenteer! This will be our third allotment year. It's not so time intensive as you think, not daily. From march to nov we go 1-3 times a week and we manage to fit it in with both of us working in London and commuting up.
I love being out in nature and can't wait to walk baby up there and do some weeding and planting while she naps (oh the romance of it!). Although I'm sure ill only get half as much done as I would normally. We have a baby bjorn carrier second hand, so may try digging with baby on me, we'll see.
mayanbob did you get your letter through?
Happy Friday everyone! I think I may be celebrating by... having an early night - still so tired!!
Welcome to all the newbies - and congratulations on your pregnancies!
grow and mayan think I may join you guys at being an emotional wreck. I cried today while teaching a lesson about women in Nazi Germany because the video clip I showed had pictures of babies...
teapig yay to getting to the 28 week milestone!
Am starting to get a little bump now at almost 14 weeks. I'm sure everyone just thinks I ate a few too many pies recently but it looks like a bump to me. When I stand in front of the mirror for half an hour and squint at it from every angle...
grow Still no letter- grrr... however, have texted midwife (yesterday) and am giving her till Monday to reply before I pick a number at random at the maternity hospital and try and sort it out.
Eggy hope you enjoy your early night.... the emotions are crazy aren't they? (Last night I cried because DH didn't win his darts match, ...not sobbing or anything, just welling up but still... this is ludicrous behaviour -at least yours was baby related)
Very jealous of you veggie growers... am currently resident in a flat with no balcony. I grew up with a mahoosive garden and my own veggie patch, and am now at an age where I miss it daily. It doesn't help by the fact our bedroom overlooks allotments.
I feel much less tired today. not sure why- but made the most of it and have done the hoovering. I did eat 2 packs of crisps and drank a (small) bottle of cherry coke... so maybe that's it.
Hope you all have a happy and healthy weekend, and get the sleeps you want.
I hope everyone has had a bit more sleep and are feeling more energised and less tearful.
Mayan - are you on your ring around for your scan date yet?
Who is feeling kicks now as well - cycle?
I've had a chocka week so far filled with a new OB consultant meeting that went soooo much better than the last consultant I saw (who was uncaring, aggressive and so patronising I asked to change!). Still weighing up delivery options as there are some issues following the surgery I had for the ectopic in late 2011. This woman is so much more respectful, caring and supportive. In the end, whatever I decide, so long as this baby comes out alive and well without too much trauma to us all, that's all that matters.
We've also had a tonne of hoo-ha over our bathroom project (half the suite not being delivered or available in our timescale and a flaky builder) so we've decided to scrap the whole damn project and tart up the bathroom we have to reduce stress and enjoy the time we have before the LO arrives.
So actually, a bit mental as it's only Weds. But I have a lovely meal out with an old friend tonight after work and it's my birthday this Sunday (36 - woop woop!) so we're having a 3D/4D scan on Sunday that was only £47 on a Groupon deal. So hopefully she won't look too squishy. .
28+1 (and going soooo fast!)
grow Glad you've got a respectful consultant and good on you for taking the low stress approach to decorate. (i'm just ignoring it all) Scan on Groupon?! I will have to pay more attention.
After some trauma, I have my Scan date. Next Thursday. I phoned up on Monday only to find out that the ultrasound department hadn't heard of me. Spoke to community midwife who put in another 'card' and everyone was very nice, but cue silent tears at work. However, got text from my midwife first thing on Tuesday (she had been off) saying she was chasing it, and she phoned me today with details. Also my bloods are all fine and I don't have a urine infection. So that's all jolly good.
Now excited and terrified because of scan. This is going to be the LONGEST week.
When I was talking about 'worst case scenarios' today with DH, he suggestes that I might want to talk to MiL about her ectopic pregnancy, and his cousins stillbirth. I said that I probably wouldn't want to talk about that. I wonder what goes through his brain sometimes... I really do.
Hope everyone else is well.x
grow That sounds like a manic week! Hurrah for consultants that get it!
Mayan Ooh, your scan is the same day as my booking appointment, that will be exciting! Good news on the bloods being fine. I just can't imagine why you might not want to talk to all the people who have had terrible things go wrong <rollseyes>. Sometimes people have a strange idea as to what is helpful.
I have done 2 days temp work this week - 3 girls with chicken pox. Not ideal, but easy, since they just wilted on the sofa and periodically took themselves off to bed for a nap. The advantage of temp work is that you don't have to worry about 3 year olds who have nappies and dummies and 6 year olds who don't eat vegetables - it's not your problem .
I have been feeling the movements for a couple of weeks, particularly this evening, which might be down to the 1/2 glass of proper coke I had earlier! I don't usually drink coke, but I needed something fizzy for the heartburn and that was all I could find at the temp job. My husband is off work with a chest infection and, having been given steroids by the gp today, is likely to be somewhat grumpy this weekend. Joy. The 16 year old is showing signs of not coping with the idea of the baby, but he is supposed to be in the Peak District next week doing outward bound type stuff with the princes trust, so maybe the distance will give him a chance to get used to it. There is information about helping 2 and 3 year olds with a new sibling, but remarkably little about helping a 16 year old with Asbergers!
Hey theere cycle glad you've had some temping and they were well beahved. Good luck with your booking appointment next week.
I am loving the coke - cherry coke to be precise. I wish I could have something useful to say about 16 year old siblings with Aspergers... but it's not mhy area of expertise. However, doing the princes trust has got to be good...
Sympathies for a poorly DH as well.
Does anyone else have spotty skin. It's just gross. I look old, spotty and gross. ah well... happy pregnancy me.
mayan I have lovely spots too - very attractive. And blotchy chest. It's great!
I'm going to have to give in and get some maternity stuff - I've got hardly any bras left and I need some tights and leggings, if nothing else. My friend was going to bring some stuff from her boss, but I think I need some stuff before she's going to get here. I'll have to buy tights and bras anyway. I know my sister ended up something like a 34J, so I want to manage with as few as possible - I can't afford lots in different sizes!
Another interview on Saturday for a 3 week job at the end of feb. Not ideal, but better than nothing.
I had lovely skin at first, then spots from 19-25 weeks, then clear again now....must be all the hormone shifts. A good reason to treat yourself to a facepack and put your feet up!
Mayan, glad you got your scan date, once you're past the weekend the time will fly!
I've been spotty for a few weeks - tea tree face wash seems to be helping! Everyone keeps saying this is the best time in your pregnancy (20 weeks on thursday), so enjoy blooming - I don't feel very blooming! Went to see MW on tuesday, burst into tears the minute I walked into the room. I don't think I had reaslied how worried I was. Anyway, she is so understanding and great to talk to; totally reassured me and had heart beat reassurance as well.
Cycle - try ebay (if you're not fussed about second hand stuff) for maternity bras. I've bought a few for just a few pounds each as my boobs (already sizeable!) have gone mad! I agree with you about needing tights as well - I'm trying to make do with normal ones until spring when i'll stop wearing them anyway, but they are not very comfy, especially with an hour each way of commuting - feel like i'm being cut in half by the time I get home!
Have a great weekend everyone
Bexiwoo I managed to get to mothercare (I took my aging mother - she got the staff to find her somewhere to sit out of the way!) this afternoon. I found some bras and tights in the sale and a pair of leggings. I wanted to try things on, but now I have a better idea of size, I will hit ebay .
Today I have a strange band of rash above my tummy. It's very odd. And my abdomen feels rather uncomfortable. The backache seems to be back as well, which is tedious.
Hope you all have a nice weekend.
Hey ladies, hope everyone is doing well and the spots disappear soon.
I hope the rash clears up cycle. I also get back ache off and on and can sympathise with how tedious it is. I've found a well placed hot water bottle can help.
I had to go to Thursday/Friday as I hadn't felt baby move in 36 hours. They checked the heart beat for ages and that was fine and then I went for a scan and again everything seemed good. Hoping baby is just a bit lazy and will turn out to be a good sleeper when she arrives
Can't believe the 30 weeks milestone is coming up for me this week, time is really flying now!
I know teapig, 33 wks tomorrow and that means only 4 weeks til baby would be classed as term if he made an appearance! Argh! Currently sitting on our coffee table in the kitchen as the builders are back today to sort out the damp in the lounge diner floor and therefore we have had to move everything elsewhere in the house - when there is no room! Felt so useless yesterday but mum came over to help DH and it was better getting it all packed than I had feared... Just hope it can all be dealt with quite swiftly (fx for 1 week not 2) as once that's done there is decorating in there and the small matter of the nursery which is currently rammed to the gunnels with stuff! This is where I do rather wish I was starting my mat leave a little earlier, but hey ho. Wish me zen like calm ladies and lovely ache and stress free weeks to you all!
Hi ladies, Im 7wks with first pregnancy - got my booking in appointment day before my 34th birthday. Glad there are so many of us. I don't feel old at all to be having first baby - can't imagine having been ready in my 20s!
Hi all, can I squeeze in? A pretty early 5 weeks here, I'm 31, working FT with lots of travel and struggling to concentrate on work already!
Just realised this is an old thread... I will hang around if anyone wants to resurrect it!
I also just came across this thread. Most of the ladies on here must've had their babies now, I'm due next Thursday... I'll be 33 the week after. I was working full time but due to every bloody pregnancy problem going, I spent most of it on the sick!
I also agree that being older makes you worry more. I had two m/c before this pregnancy and I can't relax until she's out, safe and sound
I'm 37, 30 weeks, working full time, high risk pregnancy (cerclage and baby measuring small) have a scan tomorrow to check on things (have lots more scans than might be 'normal')
love to hear how everyone is getting on!
despite being 30 weeks pregnant it still does not seem at all 'real' to me yet!
I'm 33 and expecting my first, I'm currently 19+4 and I had my 20 week scan yesterday x
I'm expecting my first and I'm 34 will just of turned 35 when in due.
I don't feel that old in my head but I think my body might know....
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