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Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

(996 Posts)
TerrysNo2 Wed 12-Oct-11 19:07:48

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news smile

cookie9 Wed 12-Oct-11 20:13:10

Looking forward to getting an update how Xander is doing.

TwoJackRussellsandabean Wed 12-Oct-11 21:02:36

Marking my spot smile

MooseyMoo Wed 12-Oct-11 21:26:36

Marking my spot too. Whilst singing 'Aaah, push it... p p p push it real good. da da da da da da dada da'.

voodoomunkee Wed 12-Oct-11 21:29:48

Yay found the thread! Knew if I lurked I would see something that looked right! Thanks terrys!
Yes wonder how caz and cali are.

neverinamillionyears Wed 12-Oct-11 22:09:00

pulling up a swiss ball to park my big bum on.

chipmonkey Wed 12-Oct-11 22:22:34

marking my place.

Marking mine too so I can update on Caz if there is more news!

KellyKettle Wed 12-Oct-11 22:28:17


Lost bits of mucus plug this afternoon and have been having cramps.

It's all settled down now so I have decided its just a slow warm up but quite exciting nevertheless.

Thanks for new thread Terrys smile

bumpandisaacsmum Wed 12-Oct-11 22:58:42

Thanks for new thread terrys

chip feel humbled to be able to read your post, I can't imagine how difficult things are for you & your family at the moment. It is lovely to know that you lil princess Sylvie-Rose went peacefully surrounded by your love xx

It is exciting waiting on news from caz hope all is going well for her & cali thankyou blue for keeping us up to date.

Had my 36week appt with GP today. Baby is all well & head well down (as if I didn't know from the pressure down there) took a while to get heartbeat but was due to cr*p equipment and when it was eventually picked up was really strong. My BP is a little high, so need to keep an eye on that & also sugar in urine so have to do another sample & possibly GTT (don't see the need at this late stage).

Have been having huge trouble sleeping, sleep from 10/11 then wake at 3am & am with strong BHs; has been the same the past 4nights, they then settle & I try to put my head back down just as DS wakes!! Between the BH, baby being well engaged and my BP having increased a little I feel it won't be long before baby arrives (BP rose dramatically in the week leading up to DS's labour). Also having major nesting instincts & DP is being made to clean and prep lots of bits on my demands...things are starting to feel a little too real & am feeling slightly scared!!

Hope everyone is keeping safe xx

goldmaple Wed 12-Oct-11 23:06:22

caz can't wait to hear news about Xander. I bet he is pretty comfy, but hopefully he can be convinced to make an appearance soonsmile

chip thinking of you and your family and keeping you all in my prayers.

kelly sounds promising! Are you full term? Let us know of any further developments!! Sounds like we might have a few babies soon.

I was thinking that we could end each post with how far along we are so that when people start having symptoms of labour we know how far along people are and whether labour is good or bad at this point?

36 weeks

PamSco Wed 12-Oct-11 23:43:50

Thanks for thread Terrys

chip I've shed tears over your post more for your strength than for anything. My heartfelt thoughts to you and your boys. Your lovely girl has lodged in your hearts for ever. Sorry my words are clunky.

Caz and Cali best of luck to you both.

Caliphora Thu 13-Oct-11 00:59:27

Bah - got told to go to labour ward - sent home again as no dilation, posterior cervix and a p***y registrar who refused to answer my question: "When do we draw the line with this pre-eclampsia and get me going?" - they say I have to do the BP monitoring, but won't give me a goal to work with, thus stressing me out even more and upsetting me no end. I've had 4 different consultants saying 4 different things now, and I will throw a hissy on Saturday (monitoring day) if I don't get a definite answer.
The registrar tonight said "It's either going to be managed until you go into labour naturally, or it's going to go pear shaped and we'll manage it as an emergency" - WHAT? That really concerns me.

DP disappointed as he was hoping for Sprout arriving, I'm exhausted but contractions have chilled out, so I'll get some sleep tonight.

SnoozleDoozle Thu 13-Oct-11 06:06:58

Thanks for the new thread Terrys.

Can't sleep, have been awake since 4am and after tossing and turning for two hours, thought I might as well get up since DH's alarm clock will be going off shortly anyway. House is like a bombsite, covered in dust due to kitchen renovations, and I'm itching to clean it (nesting instinct?) but can't really see the point because there is more dusty work to be done later today, and it would just need cleaned again.

Getting excited by everyone's updates, definitely seems like arrivals will be happening soon. I thought something might be happening on Tues evening, had really strong BHs for hours, but then it settled down. I think, on balance, I am glad, because I don't feel quite ready yet, I feel like I need these next three weeks or so. Plus, since I am currently meant to be having a C-section, I don't fancy going into hospital in labour because that turns my controlled environment into something much more scary.....

KellyKettle Thu 13-Oct-11 06:07:08

Oh Cali, that's rubbish. No wonder you're stressed. I can't believe they can't tell you a target range. They must have one or else how do they know.

Gold I'm 38 weeks now so I suppose in theory it's fine. Awful continuous period pain but definitely no contractions. More plug gone this morning. Fascinating. Could still be weeks though couldn't it? I was pretty much on my EDD with DD.

DD goes to playgroup in 3 hours so Im ridiculously excited about a morning to myself.

Nesting all finished, cupboards stocked, baby things washed, bag packed. So it's junk tv, biscuits and tea in bed for me from 9-12:30!

KellyKettle Thu 13-Oct-11 06:10:02

Morning snoozle. The insomnia is horrible isnt it? I was terrible yesterday but last night wasn't too bad. Bed at 11:30pm, 3 loo visits and up at 5:30am.

Wondering whether to get up and have a cuppa and breakfast or stay snuggled between DD & DH a bit longer...

voodoomunkee Thu 13-Oct-11 06:45:22

Awww cali that's rubbish!
Kelly so exciting that things seem to be moving! Am going to be here the end of November am sure!
Need to get up and get ready for work but it's warm and comfy in bed......

mashpot Thu 13-Oct-11 08:32:04

Thanks so much for posting chip. Your strength and courage as a family is really moving and your plans for a memorial for your daughter sound perfect. Sending your strength and best wishes.

blue great to see you here and thanks for Caz updates, I hope we hear more today! Cali sorry you are having a frustrating time, I suppose you have to try and rest and take it easy but I know that's hard to do when you're on edge.

Kelly I'll be keeping my eye out for more news from you, sounds promising! voodoo I'm sure I'll be here till the end of November too! I still have 2 weeks left at work though and I'm not ready for baby yet so all this action from other ladies feels quite surreal!

Found you! kelly you may have a baby by the end of the week eh? 2nd ones are supposed to come earier I think??

PamSco Thu 13-Oct-11 08:55:41

mashpot I know what you mean, still in work and a bombsite in the Baba room.

But then I'm only 35 weeks I like gold's idea of adding our weeks onto the odd post so we know were we all are.

Kelly rest up love, stay hydrated and erm anything else you think is right! I have no idea what it's like to get started, I imagine exciting.

Cali what a pain for you. On a PMA the hospital would get things going if there were any major risks or indications - every extra day your babe gets is good from a development perspective.

Caz looks like it maybe a longer journey than you hoped for but I hope you get to stay rested and relaxed.

bump great news on positioning - not long now. It is a bit scary isn't it. I'm still in denial I think.

I've got the first of my 2 leaving drinks tonight, this one is threatening to be the session or all sessions - obviously for everyone else, not me sad

I work in 2 different locations hence 2 drinks nights - not uber popular lol. Looking forward to seeing old and new faces. Funny how many people turn up when you are buying!

I slept from 20:00h to 01:00h on the sofa last night then 01:00h to 07:00h in bed. Only 1 disturbance at 05:00 for a quick leg cramp. I wish I could give the sleepless of the world half of my lethargy - I'm getting zero done in the house! All very annoying but I know I am blessed as I can't cope without sleep.

cali how rubbish but imo you are better off at home letting things start naturally but that's just me.

Re bp - I'm not a doctor but for me anyway, I would not be worried if my readings were no higher than 145/95 or thereabouts. It's when the lower figure goes above 100 or the hjigher goes aboove 150 that they get twitchy. You are best monitoring yourself so they know it's not stress/white coat related. A good place to look is the NICE website as that gives cut off figures for bp and pre-eclampsia treatment for pg women. On phone so can't link.

bumpandisaacsmum Thu 13-Oct-11 09:12:14

HUGs to you cali I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to see someone different every time & all saying something different. On a positive note if they are happy for you to be at home then things must have settled enough for it to be safe for you & baby. Try to rest & relax, it is the best thing you can do and as Pam said every extra day baby inside is a bonus for him. If they are not willing to discuss inducing you would it be worth asking for a sweep as I know many people who have gone into labour following a sweep. I was in a similar position with DS, my BP kept getting higher then I'd be monitored and it went down so was told to keep monitoring - after a week my MW booked me in to see the consultant & she basically told him I needed to be induced (was term+5) and got sent in to find I was already in early labour & I wasn't aware; by that evening I had my membranes ruptured & that resulted in a baby. Was told by my community MW after the she suspects my BP had increased as a respose to the start of labour things occuring xx

Can't wait to here if there is any news from caz such a waiting game for Xander to appear xx

kelly glad to hear things seem to be progressing xx

Caliphora Thu 13-Oct-11 11:21:10

To me it's mostly the worry that they keep monitoring and monitoring, and then go "Oops, sh*t, emergency caesarean" - or worse.
I'd like Sprout to stay in as long as possible, but I also want us both safe and sound.

It's the same old problem of not feeling any continuity in care.

Caliphora Thu 13-Oct-11 11:31:50

NICE guidelines pre-eclampsia: Recommend birth within 24–48 hours for women who have preeclampsia with mild or moderate hypertension after 37+0 weeks.


Folicacid Thu 13-Oct-11 11:54:30

Hello, I've found you guys...

...just popping on to say that I'm just waiting for personalised card for Sylvie-Rose to arrive and then I'll get it posted away so time yet for messages if anyone feels they would like to PM one. I'm not reading them.

All sounds pretty exciting on here, best of luck Cali and Caz still.

I'm on track for a vag birth now that scan has shown placenta has... moved on up... nothing can stop it yeah. Baby's bum sticking in my ribs and I'm on the ball every evening.

Have got baby vests and sleepsuits on the clothes horse now and then when dried and ironed (last time I ironed was many a moon ago) then labour and post natal bag can finally be packed. Baby's room is still very much a work in progress and need to get moses, pram and cot sheets then we're ready...ish.

Must remember to buy arnica too- and some oils for birth. Anyone any suggestions?

I also found myself doing supermarket shop today at 7.30am confused

This post is turning into an internal musing so will quit while clearly not ahead!

36 + 4

Cali I assume you have been diagnosed with pre eclampsia and not just pregnancy induced hypertension - they are not the same (as I'm sure you know).

The pdf you linked to is one I have read and hopefully you can use the readings for mild, moderate and severe bp readings and apply them to your monitoring.
Tbh, they take pre-eclampsia very seriously, and are quick to admit to hospital and get you on bp tablets, so if that's not happened they must not suspect full pre-e. Do you have anything more than protein in unrine and higher bp? Headaches, flshing lights, sever swelling?

Hospitals get sued for more often for not doing something than for doing something IYSWIM, so they are (without exception in the NHS) likely to go down worst case senario route unless they have good evidence not to.
Hope this helps.

Btw, if they do offer bp tablets - ask for labetalol. I was on methydopa in 2008 throughout my pg and it stopped my milk coming in. Both are deemed safe in pg. (Have since found out I should not have been on tablets, contributing to my fear/hatred of NHS maternity services!)
Good luck.

Caliphora Thu 13-Oct-11 12:49:20

Mrs I was admitted for preeclampsia, as I had the other symptoms, so I'm assuming that's what they're treating me for (it's mild though, as my bp is still low). I haven't been told otherwise.

KellyKettle Thu 13-Oct-11 13:02:28

folic I need to email you and sort out PP. It's on my list.

Pregnancy/birth oils. I have a selection!

Lavender essential oil and a diffuser for calming labour smells (if I can be bothered).

Lavender & tea tree to mix together in bath to help with post birth healing/swelling/csection scar if I end up there.

Hypercal cream (Holland & Barrett about £4/5) which apparently is anaesthetising and healing on cuts and grazes.

Twirling away on my birth ball watching The Proposal at the moment. DD still not home from playgroup and I'm just not sure what to do with myself.

TerrysNo2 Thu 13-Oct-11 13:14:04

Hello all

Just walked the 2 mile roundtrip to take DS to pre-school (up and down hill!) and I'm shattered, only 2 hours till I have to set off again to pick him up, if anything will set me into early labour I am sure this is it.

MrsA yes I am going for a homebirth again this time so keeping my fingers crossed for it. Who else is?

I was wondering if anyone want to do a list for text buddies - we did this for my last AN thread and it was really good for getting quick news in case people couldn't MN in hospital. I don't mind organising it if people want to e-mail me their mobile number and due date - last time we paired up people who were 2/3 weeks apart in dates so hopefully there would be no crossovers. What do you think? Maybe you are all more patient than me! smile

Kelly things sound exciting for you! You have reminded me I need to get my birth ball out of the cellar - DS will have a great time rolling on it.

Cali sorry there hasn't been more progress, sometimes they brew for a while and then it all happens at once so keeping my FX for you.

bumpandisaacsmum I am another who is woken from lovely slumber to painful Braxton Hicks, I seem to get one every time I turn over. I am assured that its a good thing though as our bodies will be more prepared when the time comes. Lets see

PamSco I get leg cramps too, they are a horrid way to wake. I have found drinking water helps and if it doesn't get better then I have to get up and walk around for a few mins. Not fun in the middle of the night though!

Folic will PM you. Thanks for organising

KellyKettle Thu 13-Oct-11 13:24:35

DDs home so it's all gone a bit manic here.

Just to say I read that leg cramps are worse when you lie on your back. I find i don't really get them sleeping on my side. Something to do with the uterus pressing on your blood supply.

Not sure it's true but it's made a difference for me x

Merlioness Thu 13-Oct-11 15:29:34

Hello all,

Just marking my space. Nothing from caz yet? Stalking her everywhere...

Cali that really sucks!

I too like gold's idea of adding the weeks.

Had OB appointment today at 34+1 and LO is measuring 10 days ahead, so my next appointment is in 2 weeks to assess the situation. Placenta has moved out of the way and baby is cephalic now, like a good boy.

Terrys thanks for new thread

Folic still struggling to find the words, but will PM you soon.

Sorry if I forgot anyone and hope you are all well

Hello all - on MN when I should be working!!

As we all approach d day, I would really recommend those of you not sure about birth choices and what is best for you and your body, have a look at www.oneworldbirth.net/

It is a series of short videos (60s - 3mins long) by leading doctors, midwives and doulas about the different approaches to birth, including 'what is a show', 'how do I induce labour', plus discussions on how women can cope with fear of birth. It's a very good site.

merlion just be cautious about being told your baby is big - scans, especially from 36 weeks onwards are notoriously inaccurate. I was told DD was approaching 10lbs, yet she birthed at 7lb 15oz - over 2lbs out. As always, do what feels right for you and if you'd rather go with the doctors then that is what is best for you but don't feel you have to. They can be wrong wink

Nope no news from Caz yet... it's driving me crazy! smile

Folicacid Thu 13-Oct-11 16:01:19

Mrs A great link, I'm loving the 60 secs doula films.

Merlioness Thu 13-Oct-11 16:45:23

Thanks Mrs A. He had been measuring ahead the last 2 scans too, but I'm not too worried about his size, as I'm well and truly in the land of the oblivion but rather hope he'll come a little bit earlier.
Here I have no choice and will have to give birth with OB and in hospital. It's all very managed, but I've escaped the section for now. gTT was all clear too.
Will take a look at the website when I'm on the computer.

blue it's driving me crazy too. Anytime I wake at night I check all the various places in case there has been Xander's birth announcement. Fingers crossed that today is the day that we get news of cuddles smile

alicat10 Thu 13-Oct-11 17:59:16

Quick collection update - we have £115 so far :-)

pandia Thu 13-Oct-11 18:23:25

Just wrote a longish post and phone deleted grrrr. Long and short of it was finished work today which is good but also very weird. I'm another like snoozle and kelly with terrible insomnia - DH and I not even in the same room anymore as he is bored with being awake and reading books most of the night. Bit sad and not quite how envisaged run up to our first born. Hey ho.

cali bit of a frustrating rollercoaster for you, thinking of you. And caz I'm another who can't wait for news of you and Xander!

Off for celebratory end of work dinner with DH. Have good evening all

TerrysNo2 Thu 13-Oct-11 18:32:51

alicat have PM-ed you

Poppet45 Thu 13-Oct-11 23:50:49

Hi all!

Ooooooh Halloween smilies grin <moi, easily amused? face>
The sense of anticipation on this thread is palpable. Good stuff and the waiting will soon be over. As will the sore hips, bad backs, crampy legs, weird jelly things in the loo... Sorry for those having more stressful final few weeks what with pre-eclampsia fears and rubbish consultants and talk of big babes.
I'm another one who keeps logging in for news of Caz. I hope things are going okay and she's got her wee boy in her arms v soon. If not already. He's going to be about 36 weeks isn't he? In which case I'm guessing he'll be in the special care nursery as a routine at least for the first night? If so Caz and you want someone to hold your hand just ask. We're on day 54 (I think?) here so I am well and truly institutionalised and would be honoured to show you around. Anyway Willow is 35 weeks today and a wonderfully chubby 4lb 2oz. Am delighted she's had her biggest ever weight gain two days after starting BFing, and last night she pulled her naso-gastric tube out twice. Get her she's already got junior membership of Le Leche League! The unit's being great about me BFing her, she's on cups when I'm not in - my only gripe is that because she's so small we can only do one or two feeds a day without tiring her out, yet today after agreeing with her MW that I'd be in for the 3pm one, I walk in at ten too, to find her cup feeding Willow. Who was far too snoozy and full of my EBM to want to breast feed so I had to wait an hour, do her nappy and strip her off before she'd even attempt it. And then only for 15 minutes. Not making things easy. Especially as she's now on 3 hourly feeds so if I miss one, we're in for a long wait. Still in the scheme of things its minor.
We also had another brain scan last night after I was told in teh ward round her previous one was 'just as before, with only signs of a grade 1/2 intraventricular haemorrhage'!!! Which was news to us as we'd been told it was clear. Thankfully after another scan, we were told 'she'll be a lawyer at least' and it appears to be okay. Enlarged ventricle and one cyst but both of these could be congenital and there's no evidence of any bleed or damage.
And finally, lovely lovely Chip. I was so moved to hear of your final hours with Sylvie-Rose. You must relive them every minute sad but if it's any consolation at all (and probably nothing is right now), you were there with her, doing everything you could to help her - and no mother can do more. You should be proud of yourself for having the wherewithall to do that. I was talking to one of the nicu nurses about her (I hope it was okay, but like others I find her on my mind such a lot) and she said it did sound like SIDs because babies struck down with it so often seem to flip a switch and are irretrievable no matter how much CPR is done on them and how quickly caregivers act, she said she didn't know why that was, but it is a tragic trait of the condition. I know nothing will help but we're all here for you. Hugs and thoughts to you.

chipmonkey Fri 14-Oct-11 01:52:02

Poppet I am so glad you told me that about SIDS. You have no idea what a comfort that is to me.smile

Caliphora Fri 14-Oct-11 03:46:08

So, I'm awake because we had a little trip to the labour ward again - head is 3/5 (soooo painful) and contractions are still going, but no baby yet. They didn't even bother with an internal, and it was the same registrar as last night, so I was a little bit persona non grata hmm.

Anyway, just an update on my pattern I've now sold 8 of them, which is the most any of my patterns has sold so far, and I've even been emailed by a lady in the US who had great support from SANDS US when she lost her little boy, and bought the pattern for that reason!

Zombie Cali is off to bed.

Merlioness Fri 14-Oct-11 04:06:38

Woohoo! We have a healthy baby Xander! Just in case any insomniacs are up smile

lktoday5 Fri 14-Oct-11 04:50:17

Woo hoo!!! Congrats caz!!!! Insomniac lk here up w cramps for the 5th night of 7 but your news has put a smile on my face grin

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 04:50:42

Yay! Thanks for the update Merlioness!

Fantastic. Keep us posted if you can, hope Caz & Xander are well!

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 04:52:03

Cali hope you managed to get back to sleep ok, hopefully not long now. I can really sense your frustration.

Great news on the patterns though smile

pandia Fri 14-Oct-11 05:19:48

Hello any other insomniacs! Yay hurray for xander! How exciting and what a relief to hear all is well, thanks merlioness. Looking fw to more details.
Cali hope you're getting some rest. Sounds like things are really happening and maybe it won't be too long now smile x

Folicacid Fri 14-Oct-11 05:28:28

Welcome to the world Xander! Looking forward to all the details. Are we doing birth stories like on other threads?

Eeesh Cali sounds painful, I hope you are back in the land of nod.

Merlioness Fri 14-Oct-11 05:35:47

pandia yay for ML. Hope that you had a nice dinner with your DH
poppet Xander was 36 weeks on Tuesday, so he is slowly working his way to term! I’d have no idea about SCBU though
How annoying about the BF/cup feeding issue sad But Willow is doing so well.
chip I have been to see a counsellor today (for my own pregnancy/chiuldbirth anxieties) and she echoed what Poppet said. She lost a daughter to SIDS at 15 months and said that they just cannot be brought back for some reason or another sad. Thinking of you and your family daily.
cali sounds bad sad But it’s great that your pattern is selling so well. Hope you managed to get back to sleep

There are more news about Caz and Xander, but I’m not sure it’s my place to spill the birth announcement IYKWIM?
Mum and baby are well though (though probably both asleep). I’m sure Caz, or someone dedicated will be on soon to give a full announcement smile

bumpandisaacsmum Fri 14-Oct-11 05:56:44

Another awake here!! BH have woken me again, not slept past 4am since Fri night & it really starting to get to me.

caz & Jon congrats on baby Xander's safe arrival, glad to here mum & baby doing well - am sure Anabelle is keeping an eye on you & her new baby brother xx

cali sorry that you hosp are being far from helpful, hope you managed to get some sleep xx

cookie9 Fri 14-Oct-11 06:16:48

Congratulations Caz on the birth of Xander!

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 06:50:18

Congrats on the arrival of Xander! Lovely news to wake up to!
Cali I hope you are getting some rest, just think one day you will look back on this and erm well you will be looking back from the other side anyways! Same for you LK! Can't remember how that long drawn out process is but can't imagine it's pleasant. Kelly much for the same for you! Keeping my fingers crossed that things get moving more effectively!
I went to the tour of the labour ward last night. Just reaffirmed my belief that that is NOT the place I want to give birth! Had a chat to the mw who was totally amazed by the things I havebeen told re not being able to give birth in the MLU or at home! Said that she sees women who have more issues and a higher BMI than I delivering there and there are no problems! Suggested that I go to my consultant appt today, refuse to see anyone but my consultant and then quietly argue my case. She says after that if I am still not happy to seriously consider a home birth or to turn up at the MLU who would not turn me away! She also said there was absolutely no reason why i couldnt have a waterbirth! I explained that even with the baby weight I had lost around 2kg and a bit and she laughed, patted my arm and said I was unfortunately on the receiving end of 'dedication to the rules rather than common sense!' OH and I fairly danced out the hospital! So now I feel so much better, the relief is palpable and I slept like a log!
I hope everyone is well. Glad it is Friday and I have lots of things planned for the weekend, including a little shopping trip to examine a skateboard for my sons Xmas pressie and to buy some final things for my hospital bag. First the consultant appt.... smile

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 06:51:17

Oh god, I think I've just had a bloody show. Well, definitely blood. What do I do?

Not loads, blobs when I wiped.

Someone calm me because I'm starting to flap!


voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 06:57:41

No be calm!! See what happens Kelly, put a pad on if necessary! If it's a show either little bits will keep coming away. If not it will be more and it won't be pinkish. Ring the maternity assessment when you are calm and ask their advice. Is dd at nursery today?

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 06:58:29

Am mentally holding your hand here!!

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 06:59:46

No, we're home alone although DH's office is only 10 mins down motorway.

Midwife coming at 10am so shall I just wait and see what she says?

I can't believe how much that's thrown me.

DH has just gone back to sleep - wise man smile

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 07:00:40

Thanks for the handholding voodoo. I was only 38 weeks yesterday so didnt really expect anything.

I'm making a cuppa and going to lie on the sofa for a bit.

H007 Fri 14-Oct-11 07:10:18

Kelly I'd phone up the advice line on the front of your yellow book, they are really good and will advise on whether they want you to pop in for a look or whether to wait for your MW visit at 10 smile good luck

And congratulations Caz on Xander, can't wait to see pics smile

alicat10 Fri 14-Oct-11 07:18:30

Xander safely here - CS 14th O t 0:45 8lb 13oz all doing well - yay!!!

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 07:20:01

Thanks H (just worked out who you are on FB btw smile)

Wow! Xander is a great size! That's not a typo is it?

Hope Caz is ok after her CS x

KellyKettle Fri 14-Oct-11 07:21:33

I've spoken to the MW, she says it might be something and nothing (I refrained from texting her the photo of the loo roll blush).

So I'm going to calm down, drink my tea and enjoy the peace and quiet before DD wakes up smile

Folicacid Fri 14-Oct-11 07:27:37

Haha Kelly at texting pics of loo roll! Rest up and keep us posted.

Jeeeeez it's ramping up on here isn't it?...exciting stuff.

TwoJackRussellsandabean Fri 14-Oct-11 07:32:12

Congrats Caz, glad he is here safely smile

Good luck Kelly, lets hope its nothing to worry too much about and everything is heading in the right direction, IYSWIM?

Nowt much going on here, just waiting waiting for something exciting to happen.....

juststarting Fri 14-Oct-11 07:40:41

Hi all, sorry, been crazy busy and stressy here. Congratulations to caz and family. Lying here with bum in air and head dwon trying to invert the child. 34 weeks tomorrow here and still breech. Kelly, I had a bloody tissue four days before the actual birth.

juststarting Fri 14-Oct-11 07:51:27

Chip, I also wanted to say sorry i've not been on here so much, but i've just looked back to see what you've written and i'm so glad she died with you in a loving, secure place. I am once again weeping for you all and I hope you find solace and strength as well as patience and compassion in each other. Sylvie Rose's heart, her place in your lives and the love and the journey that you shared doesnt die with her, and those things will always have their place in your family.

hehe no it is not a typo... he really is that chunky! Caz did her very best! Well done to you strong brave lady! You must be so proud and happy! I bet Belle is too, looking down at her baby brother!

chip has joined us at the bereaved mummies thread and we are looking after her very well! I bet we'll both be checking in on here very regularly over the next few weeks to congratulate you all on the arrivals of the November babies!

mashpot Fri 14-Oct-11 08:16:17

Wow Caz congratulations! A big bouncing healthy boy! Great news. Kelly best of luck with midwife.

I am heading into work with dread after a run in with a colleague yesterday. She's trying to interfere with my handover (nothing to do with her and my junior so none of her business) and I totally lost my patience. I didn't sleep well last night and am not looking forward to spending my day in the tense atmosphere of our office. Also weighing up whether to speak to my boss about it. Not what I need with only 2 weeks left in the office. 35+5 and wishing I didn't have to go to work!

Can't wait to hear more news from Caz Cali and anyone else who might produce a baby soon to cheer me up!

TerrysNo2 Fri 14-Oct-11 09:29:19

Yay yay yay Caz!! grin

Cali I might get that pattern but I need a girl to knit it for! Oh well, if I don't have a girl then maybe someone on here could benefit from it. Its beautiful.

H007 Fri 14-Oct-11 10:50:48

Had a scan today and I am growing a whooper in my belly! Bean has a head measuring 39 weeks, tummy measuring 39 weeks and legs measuring 37 weeks. I am only 35 weeks tomorrow and they're estimating her at just over 7lbs now

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 10:55:15

So what will they do now H007?
I've just sat and cried in the consultant appt. She went and asked MLU and they said no. So unless I want to deliver in the consultant led then I have to have a homebirth. I don't want to deliver in the consultant led, it is a horrid place, the pool they have is awful. Am utterly sick. Now on my last day at work in 2 weeks time I have to return to the hospital as she thinks the baby is big. Grrrr!!!

H007 Fri 14-Oct-11 10:59:34

Nothing they think the best thing is to let me carry on naturally... He said just because she's big now doesn't mean she's going to continue to grow it may be a spurt. I'm probably going to go to the delivery suite now but after looking at DS an MLU on YouTube at my hospital there doesn't seem to be much difference between the two.

chipmonkey Fri 14-Oct-11 11:17:13

Cali I only just looked at the pattern and I hadn't realised you'd named it after Sylvie-Rose. I am so touched by your kindness and amazed by your talent! It's absolutely beautiful!

Yay for Caz and Xander. He's a beautiful baby, such scrumptious pudgy cheeks!

Congratulations Caz and Xander!

Chip Good to see you back on here! It must be some comfort to know that Sylvie-Rose died with you, and that nothing could have been done, even had she stayed in hospital. Thank goodness you have your four boys (well, five including DH!) to keep you busy and make you strong. You're doing so well.

Yay Folic for placenta having shifted!

I had a minor fright when I had a growth scan, and was told that Connor was exactly the same as last time. "Hasn't my baby grown at all then?" said I in a very small voice. "Oh sorry!" said the consultant. "Your baby is growing perfectly. I meant that he is on exactly the same percentile as last time!" Hopefully she'll learn to phrase that better another time!

I've a scan next thursday to see if my placenta is out of the way. I'm dreading the possibility of having to have a CS. I'm a very light sleeper, and three nights in hospital in a ward with others with no sleep will have me on my knees. And there is no partner to look after me at home, and take a turn at nights. I'm sure my kids will do their best, and will get themselves off to school/college/uni, and will shop and cook, but I don't want to lean on them more than absolutely necessary. I'm trying not to think about it, as it won't make the placenta move any. Roll on next thursday so at least I'll know.

Caz Many huge congrats you the birth of Xander and hope you recover well from the section. At first i thought 8lb 13oz isn't that big but then realised he's officially 36 weeks, so wow. Enjoy your lovely newborn son.

Kelly I'm sure you know this but if labour is going to start, well, it's going to start! Don't panic. You are full-term and trust the midwife. If you're having a HB there's no need to go anywhere near the hospital unless you want to. Trust your body, it knows what to do.

Voodoo I am angry on your behalf. You do not need this.
First - would you be prepared to think about a HB? It's not too late. Or would you feel brave enough to suggest one - sometimes consultants are so freaked out by your HB plans that they will offer the MLU as a compromise/just to get you close to the CLU?

The other option is to just turn up at the MLU when in labour (and stay at home as long as possible) and play dumb: 'ooh I thought I was going to give birth here <confused> - now I'm here...' But that's a long shot tbh and quite risky, depending on where the MLU is compared to CLU (eg if they are next door, you could find yourself whipped off). Would the mw you spoke to put it in writing that they wouldn't turn you away if you turned up?

Ultimately it is your call but if the CLU really isn't what you want, I'd go for a HB but that's just me.
And as to your scan...I am naughty (as I'm sure you know) and I'd either refuse the appt or not turn up/cancel on the day. Scanning at this late stage is no more accurate than manual palpation of your tummy. The reason they prefer to scan is so they have physical evidence to demonstrate they 'took action'.
As I think I said before, hospitals are far more likely to get into trouble if they have not done something than if they have eg a surgeon is more likely to be sued if he doesn't do a section than if he does and botches it.
If they scan you they can wave their bit of paper and say 'but we followed procedure' (not that anything will go wrong).

Sorry I'm ranting now as I get so cross. The truth is the vast, vast majority of women will birth just fine without scans, tests or consultants. I also believe that most women do not grow babies that are too big to birth - there is some thinking that larger babies are easier to birth due to gravity. Most extra weight is on a baby's tummy or legs which will squish during labour - it's the head that's the important bit. Get that out and you should be OK.

But, as you know by now, these are just my thoughts and opinions - you will birth best where you feel safest. For many women that is in hospital and that is just fine for them.

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 12:29:40

Ah am stressed! I would consider a homebirth and OH is really supportive. How can I be ok for a homebirth where am not in the hospital and yet can't go to MLU. I truly feel that by going to clu I would be more stressed. Therefore at higher risk of intervention!

Caliphora Fri 14-Oct-11 12:50:54

Kelly I had my show two days ago, and things seem... slow... Lol - I asked DP if he had an iron stomach, so he could see the show - he was quite amazed at it (I had to stop him taking pictures of it... shock)

Chip It's the least I can do. (hugs) I wish I could say or do something more.

voodoo That's absolute rubbish. I'd be raising hell if I was you!

Voodoo you can't go to the MLU as you don't tick all the boxes/policy (utter rubbish btw, especially if a mw has said that!) but your home is your home and no policy on earth can force you to leave it in labour.
You can hire/buy a birth pool for around £100 - ours is a birth pool in a box (note to self - need to test it out this weekend).

Look, this is purely my own opinion but what would you get at the MLU that you won't get at home? They don't offer any extra pain relief at the MLU and you will get 1-1 care throughout labour and often 2-1 care during pushing.
If you are worried about emergencies, then how long would it take to blue light you to hospital? If it's 30mins or less, I would not worry as it takes that long for a crash c-section to be prepped and that's worst case under a general anest.

I know you had your heart set on MLU but would a HB be that bad? I can't make your decision for you and if you truly would not feel safe at home then my advice would be to go for CLU, as fear stops labour. On the plus side, your DH is supportive, which makes a massive difference.

Just think - with a HB you get to sleep in your own bed with your newborn and your DH and have a proper cuppa and eat/drink whenever you like. Some women have a bottle of champagne of standby for after the first bf!!

But that's all my own thoughts and, as always, you need to do what is right for you. No one will judge you here.

PMA for me - my right boob fairly gushes colostrum now - it's gone from being clear to lovely and milky yellow (left boob not so much). I'm chuffed as I never got this with DD and it fairly soaked my bra today. Hoping it paves the way for a good attempt at bf.

stripeymummy Fri 14-Oct-11 13:06:19

Hello All,

Back from my brief jaunt north of the Border - and already there is a new thread!!

Congratulations caz, glad to hear that both you and Xander are doing well, and that he is such a good size smile

I read your post on the previous thread chip, you are being so strong and amazing. Love to you and your family.

It's really starting to hot up now - people having mucus shows and contractions. I can hardly believe we're so close to the end! I am still trying to get my head around the fact I'll be induced two weeks on Monday shock

Not much to report here, had my 36wk MW check up on Wednesday and everything seems to be chugging along nicely. So apart from feeling tired a lot - though sleeping badly - not being able to get comfortable, having a foot/elbow/bum/back/head being shoved in my ribs/sides/bladder/cervix, and generally feeling a bit fed up, I'm fine grin!!

Hope everyone else is ok and managing to cope with the high BP and crappy consultants - which are probably not really helping the high BP.... hmm

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 13:07:07

Dont know where to start raising hell and I am to the point where I can't see a point. Am starting to feel really panicky about giving birth sad

Caliphora Fri 14-Oct-11 13:23:18

Voodoo I agree with Mrs: if you're close enough to the hospital, go for the HB. If their only concern is your BMI, you have no reason not to be in MLU, but they're obviously "playing it safe"...

If you wanted to raise hell, I'd speak to the Supervisor of Midwives, as well as the LSA Midwifery Officer www.midwife.org.uk/. Look up NICE guidelines, print out and bring. For example, according to NICE guidelines, even if I need the Strep B antibiotics, it shouldn't hinder a water birth or mobile labour. I'm bringing them to my next consultants meeting, and I'm going to be adamant about it.

Or, find the birthing centre closest to you, and show up on the day. They're not going to turn you away unless you need to be transferred to the hospital for complications.

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 14:03:36

Yep the consultant even said 'they're playing totally by the rules'. BMI is 36 and cut off is 35.

Staceroo Fri 14-Oct-11 15:39:51


Kelly have fingers crossed for you to, and there sounds like there'll be some action soon!

Ali fab news about collection, will try to get some to you at the weekend, but need DHs PP acc.

Poppet Really pleased to hear BF is going so well, just a shame about silly nurses taking the initiative to feed her just before you get there! That would make me mad, but better that and to know she is always being looked after I guess!

MrsA I'm getting full on collustrum flowing from both boobs now! I love it, but DH is a little grossed out I think! Not quite to the point where it's making my bra wet yet though!

We've had caroets laid in 3 out of 5 rooms today, baby's room included! SO tonight the in laws are coming over to help build all the furniture, then I can get started on washing clothes and getting everything put away! SO excited!

Also, found a fab beatrix potter shop in the cotswolds on my weekend away last weekend, and bought loads of things for our 'theme' so can't wait to get those out!

36 week appointment today and all good. Gonna go know and read what she wrote in my notes though! One thing she did say is that the baby seems really long (just like DH who is 6'7"!) But long is OK, I can deal with long, just not a fat head!!!

kate393 Fri 14-Oct-11 17:47:29

YAY FOR CAZ!! amazing news! grin

goldmaple Fri 14-Oct-11 19:05:53

caz so very, very happy for you and your healthy chubby baby! Congrats!

kelly and cali sounds like things are on their way for both of you! That is really exciting! How long after a show does labour usually start? A few days?

Baby has dropped lower here, making me waddle! Its actually a bit painful for my pelvis, but I'm hoping thats her getting ready for the big debut. I actually measured the same at my appointment weds as I did two weeks ago but they said it was the baby dropping. I have stopped gaining weight, but as I put on 40lbs I think I just reached my limit. After 37 weeks I am ready for this baby to come.

36 +3

Caliphora Fri 14-Oct-11 19:40:54

Maple No guarantees - it can be weeks yet! (God I hope it's not weeks...)

TerrysNo2 Fri 14-Oct-11 20:50:52

Evening all

I am 37 weeks today so I have a fully cooked baby, yay me!! Although I'm in no rush for it to come out just yet so stay put.

For anyone craving cheese I just made this recipe and it was delicious. Yum!

I am quite confused about weight gain this time, with DS I put on 2.5 stone so I assumed I would put on the same this time but I've only put on 1 stone. I'm not complaining but I am just surprised at the difference as I don't think my lifestyle/diet is any different??

voodoo I am a big HB fan, labouring at home is so much more relaxed and in the end if you have to be transferred in (like I was with DS) at least you were at home as long as possible. Whats stopping you from doing that?

stripey sorry if I missed this before, but why do you have a planned induction date?

stace good luck with the nursery, put some pics up when it is done.

MrsA can't believe you are leaking already, thats a good sign!! I can get some easily when I squeeze but not leaking out although I never did really leak with DS either but supply was never an issue.

Happy Fridays all!

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 21:20:46

Evening all. Can't believe the size of Xander and the relief for caz and her hubby must be immense!
Have just got home from leaving the house at 8am.... Am shattered and have a long day at a fundraising event tomorrow. Tired tired tired.
I think the homebirth thing just scares me a bit. Plus most people I speak to in rl are dead set against them. Like mine and OH's mums and friends of mine. Plus as hadnt planned on it I haven't hired a pool or budgeted for one even! OH is so supportive and is trying not to show how stressed he is about the stress I feel! Plus he starts work next week and I still have 2 more weeks at work AND am 37 weeks on Tuesday so don't feel like am prepared at all! Am sure that this seems so stressful thanks to the pg hormones and the mush my brain feels like! Thanks for being so supportive everyone, really can't say how much I appreciate it, means im not bombarding poor OH with it constantly.

juststarting Fri 14-Oct-11 21:22:22

Got myself a bit alarmed today - been having some flashing in front of my eyes for 15/20 seconds a few times a day for the last few days. As a migraine sufferer, I just kind of didnt think much of it (other than "crap, I hope this doesnt develop") and then it suddenly dawned on me today it could be a sign of pre eclampsia. Rang the hospital midwife who basically said "na, you had your blood pressure and urine checked on monday, you're not swollen, you're fine, just keep an eye on it" but now I am having some epigastric twinges (check out my use of "epigastric") and getting worried again. See how it goes tomorrow I guess. Would be a total pain in the bum to get pre eclampsia. I got two more weeks at work and really need to get some loose ends tied up there, as well as a good few days of uni work I need to achieve, plus quite a lot of preparation for baby still to do. I resent doing it frankly, if she's not going to do her bit. All she has to do is turn upside down. I'll smack her bum, that'll help. Probably the only smacked bum she'll get in her life. At least I hope so. Actually, my son gets quite a few, but thats largely cause I cant leave his bare bottom alone, its so CUTE, I have to restrain myself from patting and pinching continually when its out.

juststarting Fri 14-Oct-11 21:37:16

voodoo, I had a home birth. it was a nightmare. But only because I got scared. And I would have got a lot scareder, a lot sooner, in hospital. it was completely the right thing for me. I think if I had been in hospital I would have ended up with interventions I clearly didnt need cause we got there in the end without them. BUT, if you dont have the support of the people aroudn you, it isnt going to work. My mum didnt want me to have one, but she did respect my decision and was in the house (though never in the room) throughout, as was my dad, and it was SO nice to sit on my own sofa with my little family, and more importabtly still, not to be alone with my new baby overnight that first night - we both needed the extra care - he because he stopped breathing at one point and I was too tired, having been awake for four nights, to notice, and thank god my mum had sat up with us and got in there (he started again as soon as she picked him off me) and me because in the end, I couldnt even stand up in the shower without an arm to lean on after such a long labour. If I dont have to go in to hospital due to breach baby or pre eclampsia or anythign else that may occur, I wont. I am really hopefull that I can have another home birth, EVEN THOUGH my last one was hard. That said, I live a 20 minute WALK from the hospital, so transfer woul dbe quick.

SnoozleDoozle Fri 14-Oct-11 21:45:43

I was online this morning and tried to post my congratulations to Caz and then my computer froze, so I'm back now for another go. Ok, congratulations Caz, and such a big baby, for being only 37 weeks. That must be good news (for him, rather than you, since I see you ended up with a C-section).

Very exciting news from lots of others as well, it looks like there might be more announcements shortly.

Sorry to hear your hospital appt was such a disaster voodoo, the stress can't be doing you any good. As I've said, all through this thread, I fall firmly into the other category of women (probably the minority view these days!) - the ones who want the hospital, the consultants, all the worst case scenario stuff on hand, but then that is entirely due to my own previous birth experience (where I entered into it believing in my own ability to give birth naturally, and the power of positive thinking, but ended up needing every medical intervention under the sun). Despite me saying this though, I'm with everyone else here, in that I think its your body, your baby, your choice, and its such a shame that you have got such conflicting advice, which has left you so stressed. I hope that over the next couple of weeks you can come to some arrangement that is satisfactory for both you, and your doctors. Best of luck.

Katiebeau Fri 14-Oct-11 21:59:06

Congratulations to Caz and Jon on the safe delivery of Xander. My and DH are so pleased for you.

Juststarting - I had visual distrubances on Wednesday morning and I was told to hot foot it in for checking despite having had excellent BP and urine been fine not 16 hrs early at my weekly check the previous afternoon!!! All OK thankfully - my first migraine though - awful.

Good luck Cali and KellyKettle.

Chip - I can't find the words, you amaze me with your strength.

Wave to Bluetinkerbell - thank you for the updates on Caz and I hope you are
doing OK.

Sorry if I missed anything from anyone, still trying to keep up.

37 + 5 here - would like Bobblehat to be early! Consultant has confirmed he will not impose a deadline for induction (unless I cave and want it), daily monitoring from +12 days but no need for induction unless there is hint of issues with me or baby.

Katiebeau Fri 14-Oct-11 22:06:34

Voodoo - I am so sorry you are having this crap so late in pregnancy. I am amazed at what a difference it has made to us having a midwife and consultant team who go on the individual and actual clinical need and not any protocol.

We are paying for it but I have seen the consultant in action in the NHS and he is no different - I bet the Chief Exec of the hospital thinks he is a pain in the arse!!!! But he speaks with a respect to women sadly missing in so many medics/midwives in this field.

I hope you get this resolved to your satisfaction. Surely 1 BMI point is just a really, really big poo blush???

voodoomunkee Fri 14-Oct-11 22:20:02

Thanks ladies! Thing is my BMI has decreased and obvious the baby appears fine! In fact now apparantly is measuring too big... They also corrected my height which was 3 cm shorter than I actually am! Had this been correct at the start then there is the potential that none of this would actually havebeen an issue. You wouldn't think that this was a well known and massive hospital. Consultant is obviously unable to overrule the mw's in their multi million pound MLU. I'm so sick of all this. The clu is really not somewhere I want to be. Small outdated stuffy rooms, no opening windows, post natal like yards from the delivery rooms and so on. Urgh. This isn't a slight on the staff or their ability or the fact if this is somewhere you need to be then that's a no brainer! I'm just frustrated I feel I am left with little choice.

stripeymummy Fri 14-Oct-11 22:45:17

Hi Terrys being induced at 38+5 as I have a heart problem, so everything has to be uber controlled. I'm on a drip and epidural right from the start. Wasn't too keen on the epidural at first for the whole labour, would have like to feel some of it, but after listening to some other antenatal mums and their stories I'm really quite happy with the situation. Plus the doctors want as little stress on my heart and lungs as possible. So I have lined up the film of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy so keep me entertained through the duration grin

Folicacid Sat 15-Oct-11 07:18:07

Mowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnin all,

Voodoo I know nothing really but if you opt for homebirth then maybe they'll take you in the MLU as a better case scenario. The mix up with height and your BMI dropping makes this situation all the more ridiculous. GAH.

I've got a couple of questions for you all, hope you don't mind?

1. If you have a baby in sling and it's winter what do you dress them in? a snowsuit? or would that be too warm?

2. Facebook: what are you going to do about putting baby photos on facebook? I feel really unsure about putting lots of baby photos and the like on fb pages with the fact that FB then own the photos to do with what they want. Am I being uber paranoid? I was thinking just one photo at the beginning and then setting up picasa or whatever and sending people the link with updated photos.

But I do feel on t'other hand I like to see new photos of friends' kids that I don't see often so I'm a total hypocrite. (Mind you you can go too far, I do have one friend who has albums and albums that go up like clothes sizes 0-3, 3-6, 6-9, etc...child is now almost 3. confused

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 08:31:10

Colic consultant would have happily compromised on MLU rather than hb but mw's are refusing. So now I have to go to clu or eventually go against advice and have a homebirth. Crappy situation. Am getting more and more panicky about all of it.

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 08:32:28

Stupid iPhone autocorrect! Folic !

Folicacid Sat 15-Oct-11 08:51:54

MWs refusing? sorry I missed that. Jeez Voodoo. I think I may have rose tinted view of MWs but that surprises me/ pisses me off more. They can't refuse a HB though <muhahaha evil laugh>

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 09:24:47

It's ok Folic I was ranting about it yesterday and there was lots going on! Yeah the MLU mw's refuse to let me give birth there and it's now appearing like a power thing! Consultant believed that they would look at my circa as had lost so much weight and I am low risk but because they made a decision a while back and clearly want to stick to their new rules then I am an unfortunate person who is caught in the guidelines! Consultant stated that the rules would be changed in the future but obvs that doesn't help me. They can't refuse me a hb but it isn't what I wanted and now I feel I haven't a choice. Sigh. I've woken up feeling sick and very very stressed. Poor dc's and OH have just got it right in the neck sad my mw has suggested that my best option is to 'stay at home as long as possible before going to the clu' my opinion and OHs is that the clu is not somewhere that we want to be... There is a pool but it's not exactly appealing! Shame when they have spent so much on the MLU that they didn't spend some on the clu too.

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 09:29:06

Sorry for fling the thread up with my ire! Just very frustrated sad
How are our ladies who seemed to be on their way?

TwoJackRussellsandabean Sat 15-Oct-11 09:30:48

Good morning all,

glad your feeling better just, hopefully it wont happen again before the bubs comes smile

Folic, I guess when the baby is in the sling you can feel how warm they are and then adjust the clothing accordingly? I would figure that if they are cuddled up next to you there wouldn't need to be too many clothes on unless we are in line for a similar winter to the last one?

I'm not too keen on baby photos on Facebook either, but it's the whole issue of asking other people not to post photos of our kid that is worrying me rather, my sister in law can be a bit prickly at the best of times as it is and she has millions of photos of my nieces online.

I have a question which I was going to ask as it happens;

DH doesn't drive and doesn't want me to drive home from the hospital afterwards, which is of course sensible. But, what should we use to bring bubs home in, the car seat or the pram bit of the buggy in a taxi? A minor thing granted, but was wondering what to do for the best....

Caliphora Sat 15-Oct-11 09:35:34

Voodoo Your midwives sound batty. I'd seriously consider the route of complaining to the Supervisor of Midwives and their LSA officer. If a consultant is happy for you to go with MLU, you have a strong case, and you don't have to write long letters or fill out forms - just get their phone number and rant at them.
Well, I would anyway grin

Folic Sling I've got some fleecy suits for this, not a full snowsuit, but covering enough and insulating enough to avoid any cold limb sticking out. I think it's all depending on what you're wearing, over all temperature, and what material your sling is made out of.
Facebook I'm being a bit modest with pictures of Sprout on there for other reasons, like friends with problems conceiving - I had a hard time seeing constant "d'aaaawww look at my kid pooping in an adorable fashion" updates when I was told we couldn't have children, so I'm trying to act like I wish people would've back then.
We are, how ever, creating a semi-private Flickr account for friends and family to share, and upload to, and then we're making a Blurb book for Christmas for the grandparents who both live too far away to be around much.

Caliphora Sat 15-Oct-11 09:42:56

Jacks I thought it HAD to be a car seat - legally you can't take them in a car at all unless in a suitable car seat.

Voodoo We did the horizontal last night to see if things would pick up - yup, bit stronger pains and tightenings this morning! Let's see if it lasts... Going in for BP profile this morning, may ask for internal to get a gauge on the situation.
I feel close to going though, if it makes sense. Bit like when pregnant animals start lying down a bit more and panting slowly (I grew up with a crazy cat/dog lady for a mother so I may be the only one who knows what I mean)...

LizzyMathsWhizzy Sat 15-Oct-11 09:43:13

apologies in advance for a completely self involved post. I'm at the hospital for monitoring, have been since 230 on Friday morning, and am completely exhausted after having regular contractions every 5 minutes since 830 Thursday evening. I'm only 34
weeks, so still a bit early for labour so midwife told me to come in for monitoring. All initial signs said baby was head down, like I've been told since 24 weeks, and consultant said fully engaged and ready to go. He was happy for me to continue labour naturally, but there was no cot free in neonatal, i needed to be sent to
another hospital, 30 miles away. They put me on a drip to stop the contractions while i was on the move, which worked pretty much instantly, but made me throw up for Britain. I was told the ambulance was coming at 9 am to take me, didn't hear anything until 10, when they said a cot had become available so i didn't need to go anywhere. At 1 the consultant returned and told the midwives to take the drip out quick, just in case labour stopped altogether, which it did. I was sent for a scan and told that baby isn't head down, he's breech, with his feet stuck in the opening of my cervix, meaning he certainly can't turn, so i would need a aadpapgamaaacaesarian if and when i go back into labour. I'm being kept in, still with random contractions, and a couple of bloody shows, but no dilation of the cervix. I'm bored me being in hospital, and really don't want to wait here for am inevitable caesarian for however long it takes. If they hadn't put me on the drip i would probable have a baby by now, but it probably would have been an emergency when they realised it was feet not a head
coming first. I'm sure this is probably for the best, but it just feels so horribly medicalised. I have been told i am not going home until the contractions stop or I've had the baby, that could be weeks yet! I don't even know what i want for the best. A very large, and probably very selfish part of me just wants him out, but that probably isn't the best for him. I also have been diagnosed with obstetric choleostasis, which explains the itching, and possibly the early labour. Not pleasant, but not serious. Just need to be patient, not good at that.

alicat10 Sat 15-Oct-11 09:48:24

Voodoo perhaps see if you can have a chat to a CLU midwife to see what you can do to improve things if you do go there - with DS I needed to be on CLU but the MWs were very sympathetic of my active birth wishes for as long as was possible - ie lights dimmed, my music on, just my MW in the room as much as possible, bed pushed out of the way until needed so I had space to move, use ball etc. Sounds like you're not going to need much monitoring so could try and recreate a MLU environment (albeit a slightly tired, not wonderfully refurbed one!). Maybe a compromise you can come to terms with. I also find that being in labour made me very inward focussed so actually I wasn't particularly aware of my environment.

MooseyMoo Sat 15-Oct-11 10:05:51

Lizzy it prob doesn't feel like it but you are in the best place for both you and baby. Yes, you could be in for a couple of weeks so can you get people to visit, do you have an iPad or iPhone? I love reading so would have my head stuck in a book. My fave is time travellers wife which is a lovely story.

Do you need to write a list of things to be done for DH/dp to do whilst you are in hospital?

If having cs, have you got big pants and over the bump trousers? You'll need these for after, they don't rub your scar. Also you'll need nightdresses rather than pjs as you will prob have catheter after op.

MooseyMoo Sat 15-Oct-11 10:16:11

jacks car seat in taxi will be fine. What one do you have? Ours is a maxi cosi cabrio and you can attach it with a seat belt. We had to bring car seat into ward so mws could check we had one and showed us how to use it. They would not have discharged me without seeing it.

folic I would say a snowsuit would be too hot for baby. Like Cali said a fleecy baby gro would be fine. Next do some. Or layers would work as well. Your body temp will keep baby toasty just remember a hat and something for hands (scratch mitts).

Facebook I have quite a few friends abroad so I put a few photos up so they can see DD. Also for relatives who live further away. I remove them after a certain amount of time. I had one friend who took a photo a week for first year, quite sweet to see the changes in baby.

voodoo I would talk to head mw of mlu and state your case. Emphasise you are getting stressed and upset over this and really do not want to give birth in clu. Say it's not the positive attitude you want to go I to labour with and wld be most relaxed at mlu. Also use mrsA infamous phrase 'is this hospital policy or specific to me'.

lktoday5 Sat 15-Oct-11 10:52:41

lizzy i know only too well the frustrations of being stuck in hospital when you dont want to be, including the 'shall we shant we' move you because of the NICU bed situation (and i too am the least patient person on the planet). So first of all a big un MN-ey hug (because we seem to be quite good at them on this thread.) Secondly, know you are doing awesomely (I just made that word up) since you've been dealing with this for 2 days now. 3rdly - what moosey said, you're in the best place (as is your baby right now) and as hard as it is mentally and physically he will come when the time is right (and in the manner which is right - as hard as that is when its not what you had thought). I tried my best to distract myself with my kindle, magazines, going for short walks around the ward, watching the rubbish in the day room etc etc - anything to distract me. Oh, and of course posting on here if you can! Sending you thanks even though you cant have them and wine for when LO does make an appearance.

PamSco Sat 15-Oct-11 11:37:53

Oooh Lizzy I'm really quite annoyed by your treatment! Just try to relax - your baby may surprise you and turn - hands and knees deep breathing to give them as much room as possile - bum high in the air will help buba disengage his feet.

Voodoo I have gone through exactly what you are going through. I have a similar BMI and have lost 2 stone and am relatively fit and healthy certainly no mobility issues. I have been told an absolute no for the new MLU unit. So be it. It only opened 2 weeks ago so all my pals have given birth in the main hospital and have been very positive - except for the post natal ward which I think is awful everywhere.

Anyway. What I wanted to say was I was told no to water and needed monitoring - no medical reasons - just policy. So I demanded to see the consulting midwife who is head of normality. All maternity hospitals have one. A Dr saw mw instead and we went through my written birth preferences and discussed each item specifically in relation to me not policy. I am now allowed to labour in water and I don't have to agree to monitoring if there is no medical reason to at triage booking. I am happy they have no assessed me rather than policy. So I would recommend you ask who is the consultant mw for normality and demand audience with written preferences - if you want to see mine PM me. I hinted at hb and they listened. I was very stressed by the whole experience but now as calm as anything as I was unemotional, did my research and spoke their language. I felt in control. Ok I won't get the lovely Hilton style birth pool but that isn't important, 6000 women in my city didn't have it last year either.

Kelly thinking of you! Don't panic.

Knocked fingers crossed - do a Folic think that placenta high smile

Folic what others have said just babygros I reckon and layers so if your ample bosom does overheat tham you can delayer. I'm going to buy a Calin Bleu sling fleecey seems a nice warm option, though stretchy doesn't last as long but these are cheaper.

TwoJacks I reckon a car seat as well.

I'll be Facebooking photos as my family aren'y that savvy with email etc. I have Flickr so I'll do more on their protected to family only but I'll have to set up their accounts.

Fuming at the rugby (bad ref, very bad ref), replete after a cooked breakie and looking forward to an afternoon with my pal shopping. Life doesn't get better smile

Mega post sorry!

PamSco Sat 15-Oct-11 11:43:04

>Dr saw mw instead - noooooooooo Dr saw ME instead. Doh. I'm ignoring all other spelling mistakes!

Blimey, it's all go here.

voodoo I am so sorry you are feeling so panicked. I misunderstood/confused you, i thought a mw at the MLU had said yes but consultant said no. I agree that a consultant's opinion should hold some sway, the problem with the MLU is exactly that - midwife led and so the consultants are not supposed to interfere.
You could try asking is it hospital policy or specific to me and I fear their reply will be 'it is hospital policy AND specific to you as you don't fit hospital policy'.

What would I do if this were me (and I didn't want a HB)? Here is where DH needs to step in and be your voice. You are too hormonal to think straight and being assertive in late pg is often not possible. Get DH to call the head of midwives at the hospital and explain how stressed you have become, how your BMI is one point out (complete bollocks IMO - your BMI makes you no more high risk than a 'normal' weight person) and that you have lost weight since becoming pg and that your consultant feels MLU is fine for you.
IME consultants don't say these things unless they are totally sure.

Get DH to do the fighting for you - you will just start to cry smile
Perhaps arrange a meeting between the consultant and the head of MLU?

Otherwise, you will have to go for the CLU but ask for it to be as homely as possible and take some time to get your head around it.
I am sorry you are feeling like this.

Lizzy oh dear, but at this stage hospital is best place to be. <devil's advocate> do you feel up to attempting a breech birth? It can be done and does not mean a section for certain? Breech births need to be hands off delivery on all fours. Google Mary Cronk if you can.

Jacks for safety, I agree a car seat is best. If you explain to the taxi switchboard it's to bring a baby home they will know what to expect.

moosey I'm going to be controversial my usual self and say that no one can stop you taking your baby home and stop you from leaving hospital. And as for midwives showing you how to strap a baby into a car seat...what are they, Halford employees??! There are plenty of newborn car seats that are permanently strapped into the car and you are within your rights to explain this (if you had one) and invite the midwife to come to your car to see it.
All I'm saying is most women (me included) will bring their car seat onto the labour ward but if there are reasons why you can't, no one can stop you.

Folic I think a snowsuit would be too hot in a sling but I think in very cold weather I would use the pram and keep the sling for indoors.

FB I confess I have photos of DD all over fb. Doesn't bother me and I am the one who names her albums based on age blush

PMA Have had a fab morning, despite lack of sleep. DD has been an angel and watched the rugby with DP (he is welsh) and now we've blown the birth pool up for a test run. It's ace!! And HUGE. I'll be able to float in it grin

Staceroo Sat 15-Oct-11 12:01:52

Morning all!

Got all the nursary furniture built last night, looks fab and ready for a little one now! Ony problem was a missing part on one of the wardrobe doors, but mothercare are fab and sending a new wardrobe out to my local store on tues so I can go in and get the bit I need!

New carpets also laid yesterday.

Have birth prep class with our yoga lady today, then going for a chilli at a pg friends house. Currently have the base of my cheesecake cooling in the fridge, so need to crack on with my topping now.

Was hoping to see some updates this morning from our next potential droppers!!! Fingers croissed ladies xxx

SnoozleDoozle Sat 15-Oct-11 12:34:22

With car seats, I'm with MrsA, I have been thinking about buying one of the rear facing ones that stays permanently in the car, because I had the carry-tot thing with DD and frankly they are a nightmare, they are so heavy, and I really struggled to get it in and out of the car when I was recovering from C-section. So if midwives try to stop me leaving hospital with my own baby, because I don't happen to have the car seat of their choice, lets just say that there could be a standoff.....

I know a friend told me recently that her sister was really annoyed when she was being discharged from hospital, as the MWs insisted that a) she had to bring the car seat into the ward and get baby strapped in, b) her husband wasn't allowed on the ward, as it wasn't during visiting hours, so he couldn't bring the car seat in and c) she couldn't leave her baby unsupervised to go out to the hospital lobby to bring the car seat in herself. What the actual.....??! I think I'd have had a full scale tantrum, its just so unreasonable.....and honestly, I'm not a tantrummy type, but this sort of 'rules for the sake of rules' makes me so angry!

PamSco Sat 15-Oct-11 12:56:30

Well snoozle there are rules, and them rules are just that, rules. If the combination of rules make for a conflict of logic and create an impossibility so be it - rules are rules....

Taxi/Leaving Hospital You don't legally have to have a car seat to take a baby in a taxi, even from hospital. Taxis are exempt from car seat laws for a long list of reasons. And legally they can't prevent you from leaving hospital just for not having a car seat (people do leave by foot and bus as well as by car) no matter what they say unless you are going by a non-taxi car. With my eldest, a midwife did walk out with me carrying him and helped me put him in the car seat, but I had said I was leaving in my FIL's car and I was having hip problems. With DD2, I was just handed my leaving envelope to give to the next medical professional and told that the head desk knew we were leaving and I carried her out in my arms as my husband hadn't brought the carrier (he didn't realize how determined I was to leave!). Didn't have any problem. As a non-driver, I would get quite cranky if they tried to tell me I had to have a car seat when I don't have a car!

MooseyMoo Sat 15-Oct-11 15:17:58

I've never seen a permanently fixed newborn car seat. Would have found it hard to get DD in and out. Also always fell asleep in car so good to get whole seat out with DD on.

mrsA sometimes I find your comments quite rude. I personally found the midwife very helpful in showing us how to adjust and strap in newborn. I was a clueless first timer as none of our friends had babies and already very sleep deprived. Must be our hospital policy if you are driving they want to see car seat.

H007 Sat 15-Oct-11 16:16:16

I think it's a good thing that they'd want to see a car seat if you are leaving by car. At the end of the day whilst the baby is your's once it is born it also has his/her own rights and whilst I'm sure most sensible people wouldn't endanger their babies by sitting them on their laps whilst in a car some people may not think full stop, hence in order to protect the baby fair play to MW's who want to see that you're takin the safety of your baby seriously.

When I was younger we were 1/4 of a mile from my house I was in the back putting my seat belt on it was about 7pm and we were travelling at about 15mph coming off a roundabout when a drunk driver clipped the curb on the opposite side of the road and smashed straight in the front of our car at around 50mph I ended up with my face smashed into the front windscreen luckily everyone in the car was ok just a few fractures and bruising however I would dred to think what would have happen had a baby been in my lap! You hear all to often well it's just around the corner etc. But you just have to be in the wrong place/wrong time and you cannot control what other road users do. Sorry rant over, suppose what I'm trying to say is some people will try and take shortcuts, the MW's are just checking that you're not risking your babies safety. Fair play I say!

KellyKettle Sat 15-Oct-11 16:34:02

In labour. Dreadful back pain. Baby doesnt seem to be descending after 14 hours of contractions

I've asked MW to come round and check heartbeat and position.

Just off to walk up and down the stairs some more x

TwoJackRussellsandabean Sat 15-Oct-11 16:49:54

Sorry about the whole car seat controversy, oops!!!

Kelly, good luck!!!! Keep us up to date with things, lets hope baby comes soon smile

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 17:13:02

Ooooo Kelly! Good luck and come on baby! People are waiting for you! Ah am excited!
Am shattered from doing a long day in a shopping centre helping with the fundraising event. Starving but OH ran up to the chippy for him and the kids and I can't bear fish and chips cos it makes me feel sick. Am so tired I could cry!
Thanks for all your positive comments gang! Really appreciate it. Can't see how am going to overcome this so guess I've got to decide what's the best of a bad job so to speak. I know it's not the end of the world. Right off to go and wander restlessly round cos am overtired and overhungry.

SnoozleDoozle Sat 15-Oct-11 17:24:13

ooh, I'm sorry about the car seat controversy too in that I am actually a car seat obsessive, its one of my pet hates seeing children not properly strapped in. But what I meant was that I would object to hospital dictating to me that I must have their choice of car seat (i.e. one of the ones that you carry about). If they want to check I have a car seat, then so be it, but if I choose a permanently fixed car seat, then it will have to involve someone coming to the car park to look at it - I can't realistically spend £150 on another car seat just to carry the baby from the post natal ward to the car, in order to tick a box somewhere. And its when it leads to situations like the one my friend's sister went through (left standing in a corridor for hours, as she had been discharged and her bed given to someone else, but she wasn't allowed to actually leave the ward, despite her husband sitting in the hospital lobby with the car seat) that it just becomes nonsensical. Plus, seeing you leave the hospital carrying your baby in the car seat is meaningless really, as there is no guarantee that you will actually strap the seat in properly once you reach the car park.....

But, I have to say, I do feel a bit resentful of the increasing surveillance we seem to be under when we have a baby. In my area the health visitor comes and inspects your whole house when the baby reached crawling stage. I didn't have it, as it was brought in after my DD was born, but my sister did, and she said it felt like such an invasion of privacy having a stranger poking round your bedroom etc just looking for faults. Sensible parents will take every precaution to ensure their child's safety, regardless of home inspections, car seat inspections etc, whilst the parents who couldn't give a toss will continue to not give a toss.....so ultimately, what difference do such inspections make? I'm all for a bit of advice, maybe a few leaflets to read, but I think making parents feel like criminals is very counterproductive.

kate393 Sat 15-Oct-11 17:27:55

Oooh Kelly exciting stuff! Keep us posted if at all poss. hopefully not long to go! It all seems to have heated up on here all of a sudden!
Horrible toothache at mo....just waiting for call back from nhs direct dental. Need to get sorted but don't know if dentist will see me (they don't like to work on pregnant ladies it seems) but on other hand I dont fancy having this pain much longer so we'll see! Has anyone had any dental done recently...would they do local anaesthetic for treatment?...bleurgh!! sad

SnoozleDoozle Sat 15-Oct-11 17:34:56

Kelly are you having a home birth?

Kate I had temporary dental work done whilst pregnant, think it was in about May, when a filling fell out. Dentist said there were no known risks to doing treatment, but that obviously the preferred option was to be cautious, and if possible just do something temporary and leave the 'big stuff' until after the birth. But, then I suppose ultimately it would depend on how serious the problem is, and if there is anything temporary they can do. But I don't think they would want to see you in agony for the next month either, so hopefully they'll sort you out some way.

LizzyMathsWhizzy Sat 15-Oct-11 18:11:42

Thanks for the support everyone. Contractions have tailed off now, so unless something changes, i may be allowed home either tomorrow or Monday. I hope so, because i live very close to hospital if i need to come back, and if I'm going to be bed bound i might as well be bound to my own bed. MrsA, i did think about and research
delivering a breech baby, but according to the consultant, who is apparently an expert on breech babies, my baby is in a particularly difficult position, with his feet stuck between my pelvis and tail bone, making it virtually impossible to labour or turn him without breaking his legs, hence the bed rest. It sounds like he will be difficult to deliver even by caesarian. The consultant was very good, and i am confident in his suggestions. He is usually very anti caesarian, particularly in first pregnancies, but he said this does appear to be my only safe option. Pam, thanks for your indignation on my behalf!

Congratulations to caz, and good luck to Kelly, sorry, on phone so difficult to keep up with other news and name check. Its getting pretty exciting now, minimum 16 days to a November due date, maximum 46 days!

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 18:36:24

Lizzy ah what a nightmare! Glad you may be allowed home. When will they carry out a section? Apologies if you have already said so and I've missed it!
The bump seems determined to drill right down into my pelvis. It's very very uncomfortable!

alicat10 Sat 15-Oct-11 18:41:31

Lizzy sounds like you've had some specialist advice which is good. If it helps I've had 1 EMCS (after a bit of labour) & 1 planned CS after zero contractions - neither was my 1st choice but the recovery from the planned 1 was definitely quicker and easier & despite my fears to the contrary my body did what it was supposed to - bonded with baby really easily and feeding established really well with milk coming in at the right time / amount.

Caliphora Sat 15-Oct-11 18:49:32

Snoozle I was referred to social services by my midwife because the consultant prescribed fluoxetine. She said she was filling out a form for "cross agency care" (i.e. the form releasing my info from the Data Protection Act) - I had no clue this would mean I'm now going to be watched like the worst of the worst. When the social care person came around for a first chat she was gobsmacked at my tidy house and DP being present, handed us a DVD on bonding with the baby and then booked us in for ante-natal classes. She sort of fidgeted a little bit and then left, haven't heard back since, but just the knowledge that because I take a medicine that actually helps me, I am lumped in and put under suspicion with child abusers and neglect makes me fume.

voodoomunkee Sat 15-Oct-11 19:12:18

Cali! That's insane.

Good luck Kelly! How exciting!

Lizzy What a rubbish time you've had! Hope you'll be back at home soon, and that the boy stays in a little longer till he's fully cooked!

Cali Contact the head of Midwifery at the hospital you're booked at and make/threaten to make a complaint - your midwife is not suppose to refer to social services until she has explicitly discussed it with you and gotten approval from the Head. I had this happen with my eldest (I had a very vindictive midwife), went to make a complaint, got sent to the top of the chain and discussed everything and my case was closed by her (though it wasn't officially closed until after a post-birth in-hospital visit from the social worker due to procedures, she made sure it got closed asap and the midwife was dealt with without my needing to deal with her again).

Caliphora Sat 15-Oct-11 21:23:46

Not Thank you for that - I didn't know there was anything I could do!
I'm also going to ask to see my "other" notes - I had a BP monitoring today, and after the pre-eclampsia stand-off with the a**y registrar I've had a noticeably different treatment by the midwives -and not in a good way - I suspect there's a "difficult patient" note in there...

bumpandisaacsmum Sat 15-Oct-11 21:26:51

cali I am outraged on your behalf. Under no circumstances does you being on medication automatically require you to be seen by children's services. If the MW felt that the referral would be beneficial for you rather than asking you to sign a multi-disciplinary form they should have discussed the referral explicitly with you and advised you the reasoning behind her thoughts.
Despite that the MW may have felt that due to the medication you are at higher risk of post-natal depression and thus require additional support; children's services tend to have more time and resources to support you to ensure that your mental health remains stable and doesn't deteriorate IYSWIM. Take the support from children's services as a positive in that you have additional support and someone extra to gain information from - you are not being considered as a "bad mum" before you have started.
Whatever her intentions the MWs way of handling the situation was wrong and you are well within your rights to complain.
Big internet HUGs xx

bumpandisaacsmum Sat 15-Oct-11 21:40:42

Lizzy hope that the contractions ease and that you are able to have a planned c-sec rather than an EMCS. It may not be the birth that you had expected or planned but it is the safest for you and baby; rest up and know that you have done the best that you can ensuring the safe arrival of your little bundle.

Kelly Good luck, hope that all goes well with your labour and a safe arrival of baby xx

voodoo HUGs, it is such a shame that the MWs are hiding behind their policies rather than looking at things more holistically. I hope that you manage to come to a decision that is right for you and one that makes you feel most at ease.

snoozle I am another who is adamant about car seat safety...it frustrates me that people can be so flipant with the safety of their children - as has been said you may be a considerate driver but you cannot guarantee that those around you are the same. I have a rearward/forward facing car-seat that is permenantly in the car; with DS I found that it was a lot easier than securing a car-seat each journey. I would have no problem a MW checking that it was in the car for baby though. I do think it is rediculus though that they try to demand a car seat for people who do not own a car/never travel by car.

kate I had temporary treatment (with aneasthetic) when pregnant with DS and some permenant prior to knowing I was pregnant this preg I've had to have some temp treatment but they managed to do it without aneathetic. Definitely see the dentist.

Caliphora Sat 15-Oct-11 21:42:00

Bump The post-natal depression/psychosis (I'm at higher risk because of my OCD) has always been on the cards and discussed extensively with consultants and my GP - it's clearly stated in my notes that I've asked for referral to my mental health team even before birth - so if she was worried I'd say no she'd obviously not read my notes!

I'm just outraged that I wasn't told what had happened, but it slowly dawned on me when the lady introduced herself at the visit - I then had to google "multi-agency referral" to actually realise what had been done.

I, like most new first time mums, want support and help - I even realise I will most likely need it, but I don't want to be "in the system" - it's very hard to get out once you're in.

bumpandisaacsmum Sat 15-Oct-11 22:06:18

cali as the MW didn't explain what the referral meant then you didn't give your "informed consent" and thus the MW has done it without your consent. Even in cases of suspected child abuse (and thus more in need of referral than you) the person making the referral "should fully inform the parents prior to the referral unless it is likely to result in further harm/detriment of the child" (have recently been on my child protection training at work).

As for being "in the system", it is possible to get out quickly; there is no reason (from what you have said since I have "known" you on the thread) that your case will not be closed pretty quickly - being a sensible women, who is aware of her needs and limitations (which is how you come across to me) they should not have any further concerns.

I cannot believe that they have given you this added stress just at a time when you do not need it. (I am useless with words at times; but mainly want to tell you not to worry and that I can totally understand your frustration).

I cannot believe the difference in care between areas; if you hadn't mentioned about the complications of anti-d's in late pregnancy I wouldn't have known that much. Yet saying that, despite being on the meds the consultant is pro-actively encouraging a homebirth for me despite the risk of withdrawl whereas yours wants you to be monitored for 24hrs post-birth. My MW has been supportive and at most reffered me to the mental health team and once on meds the consultant but neither without long open discussions with me first.

I want to send you bug hugs and encourage you to complain about the way that the referral was handled.

bump It is astounding how different care is in different places - and at different times! Last time, how I wanted to give birth was discussed at the booking in appointment (though nothing would be firm until 36 weeks, there was a big HOMEBIRTH paper on top of my file) whereas this time, I'm 35 weeks and it hasn't even been brought up by my midwife at all!

Poppet45 Sat 15-Oct-11 23:16:49

hi all!!

Welcome Xander!!! Such fantastic news. Big hugs and smiles for Caz and Jon, and if he'd been just 3oz heavier he'd have been four times the weight of Willow. Crikey that is one almighty 36 weeker. Well done Caz!!
Voodoo my lovely I'm so sorry you're having all this horrid stress, over an arbitrary quirk of the MLU's entry policy. That sucks. But if it's any consolation I had Willow in a hospital that's so old and dreary and knackered its shutting in January and moving to a swish new site. But the staff are amazing. Outstanding. With DS I had him in a swish new hospital, but the staff were, well pretty ropey. I would pick DD's hospital again and again and again. It's the people who support you that make the difference to your birth. It's for that reason DD's birth was actually healing to me, despite being a huge clusterfuck grin whereas I'll always be sad about the flashbacks from DS's arrival.
Taxis and carseats legally taxis are exempt from the carseat legislation until a child is 3 years old. And so are all cars in an emergency situation. Trust me, we checked and checked and checked this with DS as we didn't have a car so were too tight environmentally conscious to buy a carseat! We took him home in a cab strapped to my hubby in a sling, with my hubby wearing a seatbelt on underneath DS and the sling. This time we're going to be borrowing a carseat to go with our old banger of an emergency car. But carseats are not without their own safety issues. Especially for newborns. Willow has to pass the carseat challenge before she can go home in anycase. They put newbies in horrid postures for breathing and premmies are particularly vulnerable so shouldn't be in one for longer than an hour or so max. She'll have to sit in one for 90 mins, wired up to heart monitors, to check its not dangerous for her, before they'll even let us out the door. After that I'll be slinging her and carrycotting her all the way as I'll be far too scared of the carseat!
Lizzy am so glad they were able to stop labour at 34 weeks. It must be so frustrating for you to be stuck in hospital but even a couple of extra weeks to 36 weeks will make such a huge difference for the baby. With our 8 weeks here in the neonatal nursery I've seen lots of 36 weekers go with only a couple of days stay. With a 34 weeker it's always at least a week if not 10 days... and while you're together with bubs in hospital now, if you were to deliver you'd have to go home without her. sad which is horrid.
Knockedup and other threatened sections I was so anti them after my emcs after DS's marathon labour and my resultant stint in HDU but if you have a section after a very brief labour like DD, or indeed none at all like planned sections, my goodness its a totally different animal! I was off painkillers by day four or five and running from home to hospital and chasing after DS shortly after. No one needed to fetch or carry for me at all after i got out of hospital on day 4. Just as well as no one offered hmm
Kelly Good luck!!!!!!

KellyKettle Sun 16-Oct-11 00:11:51

Baby Girl Kettle born at 10:55pm in the kitchen at home smile

7lb 4oz, mum& baby doing super (although I feel like I've been kicked in the bits by a horse!

Just feeding in bed & drinking tea smile

Katiebeau Sun 16-Oct-11 00:20:21

Congratulations Kelly!!! grin Great news! Xx

chipmonkey Sun 16-Oct-11 01:34:50

grin Kelly!!

Poppet I am really impressed at your hospital. Nobody checked on Sylvie-Rose's ability to be in a car-seat and I worried all the way home. Makes me wonder......

goldmaple Sun 16-Oct-11 03:57:40

kelly congrats!! What great news! Hope you enjoy every minute of snuggles!

cali being responsible and taking care of a condition (with meds if necessary) shouldn't flag you as irresponsible or put you 'in the system'!! You'd think logically it would be the opposite. I think its outrageous as well!

Been having AF cramps periodically (morning and night). Had them all last night and they kept waking me up, but I don't think that they are coming in waves (like contractions would?!) Baby has really dropped down so could this be my body getting ready? Anyone else had this before labour started?


cookie9 Sun 16-Oct-11 05:11:56

Kelly that's great news. Hope you are taking it easy and enjoying cuddling your new baby.

bumpandisaacsmum Sun 16-Oct-11 05:29:26

Congratulations Kelly gad to hear you & baby are doing well. Hope you managed to get some rest & enjoy those baby snuggles xx

H007 Sun 16-Oct-11 08:11:48

Congratulations Kelly glad all went so well for you smile

goldmaple I've been having them randomly since about Tuesday, mixed with a couple of spawns in my back. No idea it it's normal or not but on the odd occasion they almost seem to take my breathe away for a nanosecond.

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 08:16:06

Oh wow congrats Kelly! That's wonderful! Hope you and baby kettle are doing well and have had a night of snuggles and some sleep.
Poppet, thank you, it's really helping to get other peoples perspectives.
Clearly did too much yesterday, back is sore again today. Couldn't get comfy in bed last night as the baby wouldn't stay still!
Cali for what little I know about this sort of thing inagree with what bump said about the lack of informed consent. Even if social services were to come then i also agree they would see a new mum who was aware of potential issues and who has put measures in place to address this if necessary. Don't be hard on yourself or let it stress you, this whole pregnancy thing is stressful enough!
36+6 today!

MooseyMoo Sun 16-Oct-11 09:02:05

Congratulations to caz and Jon. Excellent news. So pleased for you.

Congratulations kettle on the birth of mini kettle. Let us know when you decide on a name. so exciting.

Gold, i randomly get aches and pains which remind me of period. Only difference is that they don't go away. Best part of contractions is that there are breaks in between them.

I'm 37 weeks today - full term!!

PamSco Sun 16-Oct-11 09:07:40

Congratulations Kelly! Welcome to the world Baby Kettle. So pleased for you all.

KellyKettle Sun 16-Oct-11 09:21:48

Morning! thanks for the warm wishes.

Had a lovely sleep with baby snuggled into my arm smile

I will post birth story later.

Good luck to all those with niggles. I had niggles turn into ctx every 15 mins at 2;30am yesterday. I just couldn't really believe it was labour.

Still no name. DH just doesn't like any (obv convinced it was a boy!) xx

Caliphora Sun 16-Oct-11 09:28:57

Kelly Yay! Baby! Well done on home birth and so pleased you're enjoying your first days snuggled up in bed!

Now I just wish my contractions would get more fruitful - my body is getting really tired, and I've spent the past two days either passed out on the sofa or shivering in bed. All in all good signs that I'm getting tired etc. but I can feel my energy reserves going fast.
At the BP monitoring yesterday they told me they were too far between to be established labour, but the registrar promised me that if I arrive for my assessment on Tuesday and they're still there but going nowhere they'll help things along for me (Tuesday was my induction assessment date anyway).

Thank you all for the encouragement re: the referral - I'm going to talk to the midwives on Tuesday to see what they say.

mashpot Sun 16-Oct-11 09:32:27

Congratulations Kelly! Great news, can't wait to hear more when you are up to typing the story. I have the kitchen earmarked for our hoped for homebirth so hope I can follow your lead.

Can I ask some advice, I had a bit of on upset stomach yesterday and a lot of pain in my bump when walking etc so took it really easy for the afternoon and evening but I've been feeling less movements from the baby. There are some movements but they feel less vigorous than usual ifkwim. Do you think its just changed position or something? It feels a bit dramatic to go into the hospital when I can feel it moving, just want some reassurance I think! 36 weeks today.

Caliphora Sun 16-Oct-11 09:39:52

Mash Always call the assessment unit if you're worried! I had a little weep in the hospital on Thursday because I felt silly being in the ANU for a second night in a row, but rest assured that you're just making sure. Never feel bad about going in for monitoring!

TerrysNo2 Sun 16-Oct-11 09:40:07

Congrats Kelly grin - our first successful homebirth, hopefully the first of many!! (Am I the only one who thought, for a short moment, that you had named her Kettle) blush

mashpot I have been having waves of nausea (and the other) and apparently those things along with baby moving down are signs things are getting ready but I don't think it means imminently. As usual, who knows!! smile


H007 Sun 16-Oct-11 09:43:07

mashpot phone the DAU they will be really happy to see you. I had the same Mon, Tues, Weds last week... Went in on Tuesday for 30mins monitoring Bean had a beautiful trace but still no movement they booked me in again on Weds and again beautiful trace but little movement so had a scan Friday and turns out to have been a growth spurt. However they assured me that I did exactly the right thing, and if her movementa reduce again I am to go in straight away. If nothing else it's very reassuring which would mean less anxiety and worry for you and therefore a happier baby. Goodluck smile oh and I'm 35 + 1

Folicacid Sun 16-Oct-11 09:50:08

Congrats to the Kettles- can I say though I'm getting a bit freaked out- this is the November thread people! I must get oot today and buy moses sheets... Cannot wait to hear birth story.

Lizzy how are you doing today? Hossie not ideal but like others say good place to be if threatened early labour.

Sleepsuits and slings thanks for all the advice.

Full term here today pains in fanny and some cramps at times but they don't last. No cheese either wink

kelly MASSIVE congrats!! You got your HB, I am so so pleased for you smile Looking forward to birth story when you can but just enjoy your lovely newborn girl and rest up. Here's hoping I'll be the same in another month smile

Moosey thanks, I think, for the feedback! I am sorry if you interpret my comments as being rude sometimes, they really are not meant to be. I will agree i am a cynical old thing who has had so many bad experiences with maternity services that i am now a tad suspicious of some HCPs grin But I do realise that my views are just that, my views, and have always tried to caveat them with - do what is best for you and your baby - it will generally be the right thing. I truly would never judge anyone here for their decisions or needs.

When I get angry, my comments are about the midwives or doctors and not the person on here posting the comment.
If you wanted help with your car seat then absolutely you should have been able to ask for it/be offered it. I do get annoyed that many NHS trusts have policies/staff that assume women leave their brains behind at the maternity dept door. Your need for help should not translate into a blanket policy that all women must have a car seat or an assumption that a woman and her baby is somehow the 'property' of the hospital and must do as she is told.

So, if anyone thinks I am outspoken, I guess I am but if it makes anyone on here question their care in the face of a poor HCP then that's a good thing IMO. There are many many fab HCPs but sadly there are also many very poor or policy-driven/no common sense HCPs, especially (in my experience) on the post natal wards.
Hopefully, we'll move on now and chalk it down to hormones eh? smile

Personally I love car seats as they saved my newborn DD after I tripped over carrying her from our front door to the car. Trying to save her, I smashed my face into the concrete and my teeth went through my lips. She remained safe in her car seat, albeit on her side.

Btw, there are rear facing car seats that sit permanently in the car from newborn to 4yrs old. Very popular in nordic countries, not so much in the UK. They are supposed to be safer for young children though.

lizzy as others have said, sounds like a complex case and sounds like you are in the right place. I've heard too that a planned section is way better than an emergency one. Good luck.

voodoo how are things today?

Had a great night sleep and DP gave me a lie in!! Yay!!

pandia Sun 16-Oct-11 09:51:39

Congratulations Kelly, such lovely news, welcome little Kettle! As a nervous first-timer I had been sure that I wanted to give birth in hospital - actually Southampton so have probably seen "my room" on One Born Every Minute! But hearing you say you were snuggled up in your own bed feeding with a cup of tea an hour or so after giving birth sounded so lovely and comforting it has made me wonder.. Anyway looking forward to hearing the story and name.

Cali yay for Tuesday and help, surely that means you will meet Sprout in just a few days now?

I'm behind most of you I think at only 35+4 envy. It is wrong to say I am absolutely and totally sick of being pregnant? Terrible carpal tunnel and pain in hands and SO itchy everywhere, particularly legs and soles of feet - actually think I am going to do a bloodtest for obstretic cholestasis - anyone know anything about that? Apparently it would mean early deliver 37-38 weeks, so maybe wishful thinking that I do have it and then less time to go confused

Right off to start the packing. Moving house tomorrow. At least my lovely mum has come to help!

Folicacid Sun 16-Oct-11 09:58:08

oh and mash get it checked out. Put your mind at ease and no one will think you are wasting their time.

cep Sun 16-Oct-11 09:59:07

morning ladies, having been away all week i have no chance of catching up with everyone, but i did notice that we have two wonderful additions. congratulations caz and kelly and welcome to your little ones, i'm looking forward to hearing the birth stories when your ready. enjoy your cuddles.

chip Everything i write down to say to you i then delete cause it sounds wrong or patronising. I wanted to say that i thought you were immensley brave and strong, and that although there is no "nice" way for it to happen at least you know she was in comfort and being loved at the time. I know there's more i wanted to say but i know i'll ramble so i'll finish with <<hugs>>

hoping everyone is ok. oh and on another topic, still having problems with boys name, but i mentioned Xander to dh saying about caz and saying how i liked it (also in Buffy) and he likes it as well shock , the only name we agree on so far, but we're still in discussions. (often loud discussions)

Caliphora Sun 16-Oct-11 10:07:50

Pandia I've got really, really bad carpal tunnel too, and itchy palms, but OC is very rare - they tested and I was fine, but someone else on the thread has it? Ask for testing though.
I was bored of pregnancy by 34 weeks, it's tiring and exhausting and absolutely limiting. I keep walking past the wine and tobacco in our local Tesco and sigh longingly, looking wistfully at the LBV Port and prosciutto. I've had to turn down so many social events "just in case you give birth" - this weekend we were supposed to be in the Peaks with friends but it was just a no-go as we weren't confident there was a hospital close enough if something happened.
I go to the local pub quiz every Wednesday and I've yet to sample the microbrewery beer on there. I have to allocate 2 hours to do my weekly shopping because I can't walk normally any more.
Finally, I've now spent almost a week in non-labour painful contractions, with no end in sight (until yesterday).
But it's all worth it in the end - people keep repeating hypnotically at me.
It better end soon so I can start enjoying it then!

pandia Sun 16-Oct-11 10:17:06

Thanks Cali - really reassuring to know I'm not the only one so that is really helpful. Was starting to be worried that not enjoying this pregnancy so much was the start of bad mother syndrome..... As you say, not long now and then it will all be worth it!"

SnoozleDoozle Sun 16-Oct-11 11:42:54

Pandia I too am sick of being pregnant. I want my ankles back, for starters...where the hell did they disappear to? But, having said that, its bitter sweet for me, because this is my second, and will be my last, so I know that when its over its over, if you see what I mean. And as I am currently heading for another C-section, I do have a feeling of 'this is it, I'm not a 'proper' mother, as I'll never experience giving birth'. But, can't let that hold me back, I had no trouble bonding or anything last time, so hope things are ok this time too.

Kelly huge congratulations. I can't tell you how brave I think you homebirth ladies are, I'd be terrified (although lying in your own bed afterwards does sound fantastic). Actually, my kitchen would sort of be ideal at the moment - it is gutted, all the units out, the cooker gone, not even a sink in there at the moment. Could cover it from top to toe in plastic sheeting, and have no fear of making a mess, as there is nothing to make a mess of. wink Not the warmest of environments for a new arrival though.....

Cali I am horrified at how you have been treated with regard to your anxiety/depression/OCD. Yes to support, the more of that the better, but don't they know that this type of labelling of people, making them feel like they have done something wrong, is exactly what deters people from seeking help for mental health problems in the first place? My sister suffered from infertility and tried to conceive for well over 10 years, and she just mentioned to me recently that there were many times over the years when she felt so depressed that she really felt she needed professional help, but she never dared go to the doctor, as she feared (correctly, as it turns out) that being labelled as a mental health patient would disqualify her from IVF, or being considered for adoption. Thankfully, she eventually had successful IVF, but to have to struggle through that on your own is brutal, when ironically the cause of the depression would be the infertility itself - talk about catch 22....

I too have anxiety problems (and many years ago suffered from depression for several years), and consider myself very fortunate that my community midwife is a lovely lovely lady, who has suffered from anxiety problems herself in the past, so has a full understanding of how I might be feeling. She is a total gem.

neverinamillionyears Sun 16-Oct-11 11:47:39

Caz and Kelly many many congratulations and lots of love to you and your family. It's just lovely reading the news on here. Ah folic sorry to hear your fancy is hurting grin. Reading all updates on here is helping me get through my work day, so thank you x

neverinamillionyears Sun 16-Oct-11 11:54:44

Bloody predictive phones *fancy can't believe it made me type twice!

neverinamillionyears Sun 16-Oct-11 12:12:49

Gah! I give up

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 12:14:39

I prefer fancy! Ha.
Mrsa am just having a day off from the stress! My mum is home from holiday so I'll have to go over the whole saga with her today and she is of the generation where you go to hospital for any procedure! When had my carpal tunnel op it was at a day unit attached to a doctors and she was horrified! m just feeling so let down and sadly I feel like I've let myself down too. It keeps going round my head that am only slightly over and I've never been light even when i was a size 10 I still had boobs and a bum! I'm a 16 now thanks kids and wine, although am guessing that I'm actually much smaller as can still do up size 16 trousers.... Nothing I can do about it. Very scared of the whole thing now sad although kellys successful homebirth and the other stories from the thread ladies has really helped make me be able to look at things a bit more objectively. I realise I am just not going to have the spare cash for a pool so that would limit me instantly in my choices!
Have remembered what the hospital reminds me of.... A swimming pool. Minus the actual clean pools. If that makes sense!

TwoJackRussellsandabean Sun 16-Oct-11 12:39:19

Just a quick note to say big congrats to Kelly, think I've already congratulated Caz, if not congrats to you guys too, lost track of when I last commented, although not ages ago I think!

Cali, hope things get better that is terrible treatment by your midwife def complain about it!!!

Right am 37+1 today, so eating a big bunch of pineapple, have really missed it and figure now am safe enough if that tiny likehood of bringing on labour actually comes about - nom nom nom!!! grin

kate393 Sun 16-Oct-11 12:40:25

Yay congrats Kelly! can't wait to hear all about it.
Going to check back later (just wanted to congratulate Kelly) got most horrific toothache now n not slept all night....nhs direct couldn't get me emergency app today when called last night but got a good friend whos a dentist n hopefully going to sort me out at 4. Just a bit past it now and although I don't want any work done I can't cope with pain any longer n worried about effect stress of it is having on baby sad

Folicacid Sun 16-Oct-11 13:10:14

Well never I did get waxed last week so it may still be looking fancy- I wouldn't know though as can't see it grin

Kate ouchy sore teeth, I hope you get some relief at 4pm, but don't worry about baby, stressing about the stress is probably worse than the stress of the pain. I know sounds easier said than done. Take care.

mashpot Sun 16-Oct-11 13:11:06

Thanks all for advice, I decided maybe I should go and be monitored but I've rung all the numbers I have for the hospital and can't get any answer and I have no idea who to call or where to go. There doesn't seem to be a DAU at Kings.

DH is going to work in a minute so I'm just going to rest at home and hope for the best. I have felt some little wriggles so I think (hope) I'm just being a bit paranoid. DH thinks the bump has changed shape, is it possible baby has dropped and that would mean less movement? May also account for the pain yesterday.

SnoozleDoozle Sun 16-Oct-11 13:15:10

TwoJack what is this about pineapple? Is this something else that we are meant to not eat? Yikes, I've never heard of that one and have been merrily munching pineapple throughout.....not loads of it, but I certainly haven't been avoiding it. Tell me more, this is a minefield.....

lktoday5 Sun 16-Oct-11 13:23:51

kelly huuuuge congrats

seems like the pains and stuff of last week were another UTI - yawn. Now the 3rd in 7 weeks .....just tedious .....but i had the first pain free night in 8 last night and even made it out of the house to the supermarket - rock n roll!

ive really missed DH this week but not a fat lot i can do about it .

right now, im absolutely ready for LO to appear, I feel fat, everything is swollen, my back is killing me etc etc etc whinge whinge whinge wink

sorry for self absorbed post. I absolutely know im not the only one feeling like it

PMA is that i made a yummy risotto smile

37 plus 1

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 13:40:15

Pineapple is meant to help induce labour isn't it? Have a feeling you would have to eat like 7 fresh pineapples but hey!

alicat10 Sun 16-Oct-11 13:46:20

I think we're talking about 5-6 pineapples in one go so not a great worry! 37 weeks today so I am going to start a campaign of pineapple, curry, raspberry leaf tea and sex! Probably after I've had a nap & packed the hospital bag ;-)

Huge congrats Kelly - so exciting. Took us from Thur to Mon to name DS...

TwoJackRussellsandabean Sun 16-Oct-11 13:51:32

Yup, you'd have to eat millions and millions of it to bring on labour, but i love pineapple and hadn't had any for the whole of my pregnancy so really really enjoyed it, although doubt it's helped by blood sugars for gestational diabetes or my heartburn, ho hum...

Curry didn't work last weekend after and sex takes a while to persuade 'im indoors to get on with, tried raspberry leaf tea and it was stinky, although apparently getting evening primrose oil capsules and piercing them and then using them as a pessary helps, not sure I'll bother trying that one either....

This time next week I'll be in the hospital - yipes!!!

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 13:58:10

Eek two jacks!
I must buy some raspberry leaf capsules. Can't abide herbal type tea's. Got a few things to get for 'hospital' bag but just not the energy to force myself to do it.
Told OH it's time for him to up his performance as we just have not been erm getting jiggy at all!

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 14:40:32

Don't know what's up with me today. Not got any appetite,baby will not stay still, feel sick and could go and cry my eyes out! Tried a sandwich and had to bin it, felt like I was gagging on it.... Odd.

neverinamillionyears Sun 16-Oct-11 15:17:17

Hey voodoo Just over an hour ago you were talking about getting jiggy with it, hope that isn't what has made you feel sick wink Have you got any plain biscuits you could just nibble on?

Baby is still lying transverse here. I've tried everything, think Just and I are in a race to turn our babies :0

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 15:27:55

Ha no I'd suffer in silence if that was the case!!!

Caliphora Sun 16-Oct-11 18:50:00

Pineapple - for it to have any effect it's about 7 fresh ones in a go - and I'm allergic to it, so I'm most definitely not doing that one!!!

Raspberry leaf tea doesn't bring on labour, but it helps tone the muscles preparing them for labour (i.e. it gives small contractions in the muscles, and if drunk earlier in pregnancy can cause miscarriage). It has had some contra-indications with high blood pressure though, so careful!

voodoo I feel sick most of every day too - it's Sprout being big and pressing everything up sad

DP is being such a hero - he's been off since Wednesday and has waited on me hands and feet, cooking my dinners, bringing me tea, picking stuff up from the floor for me... I'm so lucky!

voodoomunkee Sun 16-Oct-11 19:58:50

aww Cali good DP you have there! Definitely stay off both Pineapple AND Rasberry leaf for you I think!

My bp is thus fine (touch wood).

Have started a thread on what I really need to know for a homebirth if anyone is interested. Or wants to add to it!!

MooseyMoo Sun 16-Oct-11 20:34:13

Yes, mrsA, definitely a hormone fuelled reply blush. My DH was brilliant yesterday, even with my snapping at him. Felt awful as he was cleaning, cooking and playing with DD.

Does anyone else have a day when symptoms seems worse? Think it must have been a growth spurt or something. There can't be much room left hmm.

DD has started to walk whilst holding my dhs hands. She's a late developer and I knew she would start to walk when I was at my biggest!

Katiebeau Sun 16-Oct-11 21:20:25

Pandia - I'm also very fed up being pregnant. I haven't seen ankles or fingers which are mine in weeks, I'm too big and I can't sleep!!!! I want to meet our Bobblehat. I can't eat pineapple - it blisters my mouth and anyway my consultant said "it just gets stuck in my hair" grin!!!!

Apparently regular sex from week 36 is the only method proven to help. DH is a happy soul blush.

Re the itching - I hope that they sort that very very soon.

Cali I am shocked a well managed illness would necesitate such action by a MW - I would support the need to challenge her actions and make her aware of her insensitivity and possible "misunderstanding" of mental health issues. I'm glad some of our friends on this tread can advise you so well. I'm glad there is an end in sight.

LKtoday I feel your pain about the UTIs - I suffered for years. Make sure they are not just sticking you on the same antibiotics, there are several safe in pregnancy, especially for somethings like UTIs, they shouldn't be ignored.

Moosey - yeah for DD!!!

Voodoo - I really hope you get your stuff sorted out. It really is beyond ridiculous.

Kate - I hope you get better soon.

juststarting Sun 16-Oct-11 21:55:49

Well, I feel there is much to say, but again, gone. But Kettle, Yay, well done! I had DS on my kitchen floor having hopped out the birthpool (hopped. Yeah right) too. Looking forward to hearing all about it, and I'm glad you're having nice cuddles.
Car seats. na, cant be bothered.
People with long lingering threatening labours - sorry. It sucks. But it will be over eventually. I had four and a half days of no sleep with DS. 107 hours first contraction to last with thelongest gap between being a one off of 15 minutes. It sucked. But, as I said, it did eventually result in a baby and a cessation of being in labour. Which was a relief. But it was mentally so hard. Physically tough too, of course, but my biggest trouble was staying mentally ok. So just dont let yourself despair, it will come to fruition.
And hows that dental pain?
Feeling sick a bit more here too, and I am only 34 weeks. And as mentioned, kind of getting irked about her complete unwillingness to get her darn head into my cervix. She appears to be comfortable where she is. The lady is not for turning.

LizzyMathsWhizzy Mon 17-Oct-11 01:31:46

Well, after having a mini tantrum that they wouldn't let me in
home at 10 on Saturday night, Edward Oliver was born at 333 am on Sunday, by emergency caesarian! Not ideal, but considering he had somehow kicked his foot through the closed cervix and got it stuck, the best possible outcome. He is upstairs in neonatal, doing well, but in an incubator, with a drip and nose tube, while i am recovering downstairs, wishing i could be up there with him. Little Eddie is just perfect! I managed a little cuddle and a bit of skin to skin, with promising sucking, but not managed to express anything yet. Still, must rest,
thanks for all your reassuring words, x

Caliphora Mon 17-Oct-11 01:38:52

Wow Lizzy! Apologies for the joke, but what a little football prospect! grin
All the best for you both, sounds like you've got a tough little critter smile

So, how many of us are actually going to give birth in November?

KellyKettle Mon 17-Oct-11 03:13:59

Oh Lizzy! Congratulations! He sounds like a little character already smile

How are you?

bumpandisaacsmum Mon 17-Oct-11 04:02:33

Congratulations lizzy hope you manage a quick recovery. Lil edward certainly wanted to enter the world by the sounds of it & what a time!! I hope you get lots more cuddles & edward's stay is short and smooth xx

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 07:05:16

Wow congrats lizzie and welcome edward! Gosh 3 more babies in a few days! Rest up and i hope that you are both home soon.
I often wonder how many will make it to November. Me I think! Have got nothing even remotely labour like!

H007 Mon 17-Oct-11 07:22:55

Awwww congratulations Lizzy all the best to you both!

I really hope I make November, as I'm just not ready ahhhhhh.... However don't want her to be late as I'm too impatient haha.

cookie9 Mon 17-Oct-11 07:40:11

Wow lizzymathswhizzy. Congratulations. Get plenty of rest and cuddles.

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 07:48:13

End of October would do me!

bumpandisaacsmum Mon 17-Oct-11 07:50:13

37 weeks today - full term; am happy for baby to arrive anytime now...if MW & family correct then I may not make November!! After another sleepless night with BH I'm happy for my body to go into proper labour xx

Hope everyone, bump & babies are doing well xx

cep Mon 17-Oct-11 07:50:56

congratulations lizzy rest while you can.

mashpot Mon 17-Oct-11 08:08:57

Congratulations lizzy! Thank heavens you were in hospital and they didn't let you home. Hope you're both out soon though.

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 08:27:34

Welcome little Eddie! You wee belter, you knew you wanted out but kicking your mammy like that wink

Lizzy so pleased you are both happy and healthy - great news.

My last Monday in work woo hoo - 5 days and then I'm off. I'm excited by that but we have November babies appearing! This is worrying.

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 08:42:53

Who's due next? Cali is it you?

smilingcl Mon 17-Oct-11 08:47:40

I thought this was a November thread?!!

Congratulations Caz, Kelly & Lizzy. Looking forward to birth stories! Hang in there Cali, remember to keep eating and trying to sleep when you can!

No sign of action here, and quite frankly this baby would be better off turning up on time or late as we still haven't got the house in shape!

We're 37+4 today, still painting, still no floor downstairs, I do have quite a lot of baby stuff in cupboards and I ordered a maclaren and a mattress for my parents to sleep on at the weekend! Parents are up this weekend to finish off the painting and flooring with us. I'm pooped, been doing all the work ourselves and DP seems to forget I'm pregnant at times. Still think crawling around on all 4s sanding skirting board keeps the baby in a good position?! It's head down but I still have heartburn so I don't think it's dropped a lot.

I feel very unprepared, not really stressed but gently clueless, I've read so much about everything I feel like it's all dropped out of my head and I can't remember what's in the hospital bag for example or if there was anything I needed to add.. Finished work on Friday, missing the sales meeting now.. that's quite nice!

Will stop rambling, have lovely weeks everyone! Wonder how many more babies we'll get - where's that stats thread, we need to update it!

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 08:56:46

smiling I love the phrase gently clueless you've just described my frame of mind. I may nick that one wink

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 09:03:33

Stats thread here for announcements and amendments:


We should add this to the first post of new threads.

Katiebeau Mon 17-Oct-11 09:07:59

Congratulations Lizzy grin I hope you get your cuddles very soon and wish you a very fast recovery from the CS and your little man might be good at Kung Foo.

Voodoo Cali is due next and then me i think, by me that's by due date but nothing at all interesting happening here so I fully expect a late baby. DD was induced on my due date due to my horrid SPD and I was zero on the Bishops score. This time monitoring until induction medically needed or it all starts naturally!!!

PMA I'm going back to sleep and then slob about. I can't get off to sleep before 3am these days! Walking program starts tomorrow.

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 09:23:31

2Jacks is next week by appt as well.

TwoJackRussellsandabean Mon 17-Oct-11 09:35:42

Congrats Lizzy smile

Yes, I have my induction booked in for Monday, although have to be at the hospital overnight from Sunday, but focussing on getting the house tidied up this week rather than worrying about what will come next week.

Am a bit bored today, been off work for a couple of weeks and although I was glad to finish up on mat leave, but now finding that I can't do as much as I would like and getting frustrated - grrr!! Moan over....

Merlioness Mon 17-Oct-11 10:05:25

Kelly Congratulations on the birth of your precious DD!
voodoo Sorry they are pulling this cr@p on you now! Hope you can find a way to be more relaxed and settled
Lizzy Huge congratulations! Hope you are doing well and that little Edward doesn’t have to stay in too long!
kate I am having a partial root canal done on Wednesday. They will treat you, if the distress and risk to Mum and Baby is higher than the risk of treatment. I was in such agony that I couldn’t sleep anymore and could only cry. Plus I believe in the third trimester there is an increased risk of going into labour from distress, so they should treat you. I just finished my 2 ABs and my OB said that the amount of even the AB that crosses the placenta is minute, but to pay closer attention to fetal movement
Cali that is shocking and I would also complain!
Moosey Fantastic about your DD walking smile

I can’t wait to read all the birth stories! Exciting!

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 10:07:05

Well if you thought you were going to be next then you better get your skates on ladies! Folic's waters have broken.

She texted last night - I just checked my phone now (I promise to check more often in the future and keep it charged!).

She wanted me to let you know she is really sorry as this might mean the card will be delayed but I've said I'll pick it up if she wants. I know everyone will be ok the card but I hope you are ok that you may have been pushed down the queue smile


H007 Mon 17-Oct-11 10:29:48

Another already haha we are keen!

Goodluck folic

TwoJackRussellsandabean Mon 17-Oct-11 10:41:42

Good luck Folic!!!!

Caliphora Mon 17-Oct-11 10:53:42

Blimers! Good luck Folic - are we perhaps setting each other off?

I'm technically next with an induction assessment tomorrow... But at this rate I might be last! ;)
Had another night of paaaaiiiiin, thought at one point my waters had gone but it was just... um... trickley stuff (TMI, I know).

Bump is now too big to put on my bottoms without help from DH, so it's ruddy well time for her to come out before all my dignity goes completely!

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 10:55:33

AHHH!!!! crikey am I on the October thread by accident? LOL.

Good luck Folic smile

I hate this. After the hospital appt on friday consultant booked me in for a growth scan, kind of on a whim as she was concerned baby might be big but the last 2 mw's I saw thought she was pretty much spot on for dates. However the growth scan is not until a week on Friday. The 28th. So rings the MW this morning to arrange to see her to sort out hb and she says 'eee no voodoo I cant book you in until AFTER the growth scan'. ARGHHHHH. She also doesnt think baby is big but wouldnt like to book me in just in case, so now I cant do anything until after seeing her on the 26th when I will be 39+1 and then going for the scan on the 28th. I DONT KNOW WHERE AM GIVING BIRTH!!! I am very very very stressed. Even the consultant has said unless we are talking like 11lber then they wouldnt actually do anything if she was slightly bigger. Both my previous dc's were over 7lb. DD was 7'11 and DS was 8'12. I clearly have biggish babies. HELP!!!

Merlioness Mon 17-Oct-11 11:39:32

Good luck Folic!

neverinamillionyears Mon 17-Oct-11 11:45:00

Bloody hell Folic! Good luck x

Voodoo it all sounds so incredibly frustrating for you. When you are feeling tired too everything seems a million times worse!

you ladies are so funny grin
well we've had births on 14, 15 and 16 October so far, so one on the 17th would be nice too wink

Congratulations Lizzy with your little boy!

Good luck to everyone else!

Caliphora Mon 17-Oct-11 12:02:24

Voodoo - That's unreasonable beyond belief. Here are the contact details for your LSA - please, please contact her and ask for guidance and advice on what looks like an utter farce:

The LSAMO for NHS North East is Kath Mannion and may be contacted at:

North East Strategic Health Authority
North East LSA
Waterfront 4
Goldcrest Way
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE15 8NY

Tel: 0191 2106467
Fax: 0191 2106401
Email: kath.mannion@northeast.nhs.uk

or contact

Linda Anderson
LSA Project Co-ordinator/PA

Tel: 0191 2106403
Fax: 0191 2106401
Email: linda.anderson@northeast.nhs.uk

Or, you can find your Supervisor of Midwives at your hospital here: www.northeast.nhs.uk/_assets/media/pdf/SoM_List_-July_2011.pdf

As I've said before, I'd be raising hell. Tired-exhausted-pregnant-lady-type hell.
That's a special kind of hell.

TwoJackRussellsandabean Mon 17-Oct-11 12:22:23

Voodoo, complain complain complain, don't let them get away with treating you so badly!!!!

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 12:22:38

Voodoo what Cali said. But can I give an alternative perspective...

As I said in a previous post I am in the same boat as you, for the same reasons. The biggest calm moment I had was when I accepted I couldn't use the new MLU and then thought - what do some throw cushions mean and better rooms when I will be holding my boy. I know the labour wards are pretty crap where I am going but if I have my OH and my birth ball and my aromotherepay oils and my music I'll be grand.

I know you have been through this before and I haven't so completely patronising post here! But calm and relaxation is the most important thing just now. I hope you get settled soon.

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 12:30:33

Update! I have rang the Antenatal Clinic and spoken to a lovely, lovely Midwife. She has rearranged my growth scan for tomorrow. She was brill. I explained the whole saga and she was very helpful, offered to have a chat to me should I need it whenever I wanted. Also said that it was ridiculous to leave it til I was 39 weeks pg to have the scan even though they were obviously just concerned in case she had a growth spurt at the end. Suggested that I do what you have said Pam re cushions n stuff for the CLU but would be more than happy to support me in a HB and am low risk. It was like a big huge hug down the phone!

Cali thank you for finding that information for me. I have copied it down in case I need it. TwoJacks and Pam thank you also for your support. I feel like all I do is moan but I cannot believe just how stressed this has got me. No way will baby be wanting to come out to a mummy so stressed!

I really appreciate the support people offer, always amazes me how generous people are. thanks

Merlioness Mon 17-Oct-11 12:36:34

Woohoo! voodoo so pleased for you after that phonecall.
Think about the HB and I am really glad you have the scan tomorrow.

Don't worry about writing here. It helps to speak to people and we are all here for each other.

Katiebeau Mon 17-Oct-11 12:38:23

Good luck Folic !!!

Oh and no one should get too hung up on "order according to due date". Otherwise those of us (unknown us right now) who statistically will be late (based on due dates) might loose the plot due to envy grin!!!

Voodoo. Holly crap, you are suffering from the worst illogical jobs worth shit I have heard of ever. The stress this is causing you is ridiculous. I'd be happy to start complaining for you!

Good luck Cali!

MooseyMoo Mon 17-Oct-11 12:39:44

Blimey, it's all go.

folic you're my due date buddy! Don't leave me <hangs onto leg>.

Good job I haven't been doing my circle/jazz hands celebration dance otherwise I'll be dizzy by now. Btw, lk glad the jazz hands made you smile last time.

Think I'm coming down with a cold. Or the central heating is making my stuffy nose worse.

Katiebeau Mon 17-Oct-11 12:40:39

X posted. Great news Voodoo. Glad you spoke to someone with common sense smile

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 12:42:22

katie, well said! I have never had so much rubbish treatment. Yet when you actually chat to the midwives they are fab. Just less so my community midwife. Funnily enough I have just found out that the reason the consultant wont be at my next appointment (on the 28th in the ANC) is because she is leaving.... hmmm.

Merlioness thank you, I do worry people just think am a ranty woman! Dont get me wrong I love a good rant but I am normally quite a cheerful soul!

MooseyMoo Mon 17-Oct-11 12:43:26

voodoo that's great news grin. I have my presentation scan tomorrow. I think baby is head down but the wanted to confirm.

PamSco Mon 17-Oct-11 12:52:58

Great news voodoo

stripeymummy Mon 17-Oct-11 13:23:24

Goodness, so much keeps happening on this thread - I can barely keep up!!!

Congratulations to kelly and lizzy for their lovely arrivals, and good luck folic smile!

Am 37 weeks on Wednesday, so nearly officially fully baked smile and being induced 2 weeks today. She's definitely NOT allowed to arrive early as it doesn't fit with the schedule (which of course means she will hmm). So if all things go to plan she should definitely be a November baby grin

cali I'm sorry to hear about your problems with children's services, and the way they have handled everything. They should have been planning, informing you and working with you for this sort of support from the start. I would agree with the others and definitely put in a complaint re your treatment. I still find it amazing how different the treatment ranges from MW to MW and Unit to Unit, I've really been very lucky so far.

Ditto to voodoo too, a lot of it really doesn't make sense. Hopefully having a supportive and understanding MW will make a difference, and be able to help you fight your corner.

Fingers crossed we all start having an easier time of it over the next few weeks - it's bad enough putting up with all the pregnancy pains and niggles never mind frustrating so called 'support'

cep Mon 17-Oct-11 13:43:40

voodoo yay for good telephone call results. that was ridiculous to leave you so late.

go folic good luck hon.

Think i'm going to end up being the only one delivering in Nov the way it's going. I'm technically any time between 5th and 10th, (officially 10th)

bumpsnowjustplump Mon 17-Oct-11 14:11:11

Hello all 37+3 today.

I also have a growth scan and possition scan tomorrow Voodoo. Baby is measuring big and mw cant make out 100% if baby is breach or not. however she is definatly back to back as no spine to be found... boo hoo. I also have big babies dd was 8lb 4 and ds 8lb 12oz so am looking at a whooper this time around.

Congrats to all the new arrivals and good luck folic fingers crossed for you.

Bump is still really high up here so plently of room for baby to be turned if need be tomorrow, depending on placenta and cord. Just hope she does it on her own as I have heard it really hurt. Lots of back pain and bottom pain due to her possition but doing my best to move her around...

H007 Mon 17-Oct-11 14:13:53

I thought 7/8lb babies were normal size? Just everyone seems to be noting them as whoopers...

voodoomunkee Mon 17-Oct-11 14:22:46

The MW at the hospital I spoke to early seemed to think 8lbers are relatively normal size.

Cep am officially the 8th of Nov - you have my dd's birthday as your date smile

bumps - can you not tell either? I think it is hard as I couldnt work it out so although mw's are more adept or should be with experience I cant imagine it is an exact science!

I know this one is the right way round just by the kicks I get - they are completely different and I felt her turn round as I actually yelled out in my sleep and woke up! It was wierd. I just go and lie over the birthing ball etc as often as possible to try to encourage her to stay there! Spinning babies website is good so the lovely ladies on here told me?

kate393 Mon 17-Oct-11 14:24:10

Wow! congrats lizzy.
And good luck to folic....blimey its all going on!
37 weeks today and hoping that baby stays put for another 2 weeks at least!!! house is such a mess and want to get over this tooth rubbish, but hey ho, when theyre coming theyre coming I guess! smile

MooseyMoo Mon 17-Oct-11 15:30:06

DD was 8lbs 13oz. Was predicted to be average size at 7lbs 6oz at 12 week scan.

This time I didn't get an estimated weight as the sonographer said they were updating the average size as more babies were being born over 8lbs.

SnoozleDoozle Mon 17-Oct-11 15:33:54

Wow Lizzy I can't believe we have another arrival, congratulations, hope you are recovering ok.

All I can say is, I hope that I don't go into labour today, as if so, I may be giving birth on the floor, helped by 5 year old DD.....there is terrible flooding in my area and the roads in and out of my village are almost impassable. That is, they were almost impassable about an hour and a half ago, and there has been an hour and a half more rain since then, its the worst I have ever seen. Still, having said that, apart from some period like pain, I haven't been showing any signs of going into labour yet, so hopefully no need to worry!

KellyKettle Mon 17-Oct-11 15:45:22

Lizzy Congratulations!! hope you're home soon.

Folic I can't believe it!

Haha! This is like an extension of the October thread. I bet we end up with babies being born right into December!

Technically I was an October mum - I got my EDD wrong based on my LMP so joined the Nov thread. I'd already settled in by the time I found out I should be on the October thread.

Detailed birth story posted on FB group & one crappy pic. All other pics on camera but I can't find the lead to transfer pics to PC.

Caliphora Mon 17-Oct-11 16:28:37

Kelly Me too, as my EDD was wrong the first time.

I love your birth story! Specially when your DD is splashing around with you in the birth pool - made me smile no end smile

Ah Lizzy congrats! It sounds like you were definitely in the right place! Hoping your LO is soon back with you and you are recovering.

Folic how exciting!!

voodoo so glad things seem to be falling into place for you.

Kelly as I've put on other threads - massive congrats. Thinking about it, I would love DD to be present and watch the birth if she wanted etc but she is such a clingon I can see her being really upset/naughty if she can't get to mummy and I really don't think I could labour with Peppa Pig on the telly smile I will miss her loads though and it feels strange her missing such a massive event in our family life. But she adores nana, is always asking to stay over there, so I'm sure she'll be fine. I probably will have to pack a little bag for DD as well as mine.

My IM has a big 4x4 as many of her clients are in the middle of nowhere in Wales, so I'm hoping she will get to us whatever the weather.
I'd quite like to hold on till 39/40 weeks with this one as I don't finish work for another 2 weeks when I'm 38 weeks!

Caliphora Mon 17-Oct-11 17:16:01

Quick rage moan:

I wish these contractions would hurry up and get to the point! So irregular, yet enough to make me feel sick and want to lie down in a dark room until it's all over. I've now had them for a week on and off - I'm bored!
At least Sprouts head was 2/5 today at the MW appt. - I hope that means good news asap!

Well! Turn my back for a second...!

Congrats Kelly on having a new kettle in your kitchen! Could just have popped down to Argos for one rather than making your own!

And congrats Lizzy on Edward's appearance. Aren't you glad they wouldn't let you go home!

Go Folic! I'm wondering how you're getting on.

Voodoo Glad things seem to be getting sorted out for you. Definitely think you should complain when you have the energy to do so, tho.

Cali I sympathise with your hassles with social services (S.S. for short!). I've had some unpleasant dealings in the past. As a mum of children with additional needs, I was automatically allocated a social worker, and at times they have been less than helpful. And good luck!!

Mashpot How are the movements today? Hope you're getting plenty of kicks.

Poppet Thank you for your encouraging post. I'll find out my fate on Thursday, but it no longer seems as bad a prospect as it did! Thanks!

Pandia, Snoozle, lk and Katiebeau I've had enough of pregnancy now - tho I could do with doing a big shop at Sainsburys before Connor arrives. Was going to go today, but rain has been lashing down and I can't be arsed. With two teenage boys in the house, the cupboards are bare within days anyway!

Staceroo Mon 17-Oct-11 19:29:46

Kelly was lovely to read your story on fb! Well done!

(Damn you *knocked up for nicking my joke re the new kettle!!!!! grin - nice to have you back after being quiet for a long time though!!!)

Lizzy congratulations! Can't wait to hear more!!

Folic FX for you and hope alls going well!!!

Cali I understand the point re being monitored etc when completely obvious (even to the social workier it seem) how unecessary it is, but when you hear stories in the news about children who go under the radar of social workers and the worst happens, i'm of the opinion that they can't do too much. If someone came to check on me for one reason or another I dont think I would be angry. But I also think that it is now obviously appropriate for you to be taken off whatever list you are on! (hope i haven't caused offence as i have no idea of what the medication you are on is, and why this resulted in you being "cross refered" in the first place!)

I stocked up on the raspberry leaf tea yesterday! And am too about to embark on a diet of said tea, pineapple, curry and sex!!!!

Must get the bags packed though!!! Will perhaps do a trip to tescos tomorrow to get the toiletries!

I am half expecting that I won't last until November (though this may just be optomism!) but from what mw said there really is no room loeft for this little one in my teeny tiny belly! Officially have 2 weeks and 4 days left till mat leave starts, but really only 4 days! (These are followed by a weeks holiday then a final week working from home! so would be happy for here to come whenever she's ready!

Tjuice Mon 17-Oct-11 19:40:24

aaaargh! I hate when I get too far behind...

Well, quick congrats to kelly and lizzy - hope all is well.

And best wishes to all you feeling the squeeze and wanting it over.

I am STILL not ready for it all to happen but my list of stuff to do is getting smaller while I am getting bigger. Biggest issue is still DD's awful sleeping but DH is trying to protect me a bit and do the late night stuff.

I am amazed at how quickly I have detached from work stuff ;) but still need to do more chilling out and not trying to project manage everything but that's motherhood...

Sleep tight!

p.s. how do I join the facebook group?

lktoday5 Mon 17-Oct-11 19:52:08

moosey the jazz hands still make me chuckle. I'm such a small child grin and frankly am taking every opportunity to cheer myself up being the grumpy hippo I feel like!

juststarting Mon 17-Oct-11 20:10:35

Lizzy, congratulations! And its so encouraging to me to hear of all these people seeming relatively sane and capable after their CS's. I still look like I am heading that way with my unmoveable madam and it frankly scares me witless. And Folic, good luck! Is it completely unreasonable to wish people would give us real time updates! Actually, would probably just freak those of us still waiting out. And I am planning to be firmly in November with a due date of the 25th. Heres hoping anyway. Another two weeks of work here and got home tonight so tired I wondered if I might be getting ill (but then, I wonder if I might be getting ill 60 times a day - its my phobia. I'm cool with colds, just sick bugs and stuff). It was so much easier when I didnt have a toddler once I got home too!
I'm with Staceroo on the social workers etc front. I work in mental health and I think that exposes me to enough people for whom family circumstances areextremely suboptimal that I would rather feel we were over examining people who are fine than missing people who arent. That said, once that examination is done, it wastes everybody's time, money and goodwill to keep looking.
Crap I do NOT feel like putting DS to bed now, I am too fat and uncomfortable and tired and feeling lousy and he's too squirmy and shrieky and heavy and protracted in sleeping.

Needing support and space to rant - am so frustrated with how today went. This is going to be long.

I had a midwife appointment today - she is the same midwife I had for DD2, so she knows us somewhat well. I thought.

I am 35wks+ right now. Throughout this entire pregnancy, she has not brought up the birth once. I thought since I had had a homebirth with my two previous children, and this is the healthiest pregnancy I've had yet, that it was a no-brainer and we were just waiting until 36 weeks to formalize it. So today, after all the typical checks, she goes "So, you're going to go in hospital for this baby, yes?"

Caught me completely off-guard - I slowly responded "I hadn't planned on it", which seemed to catch her as off guard as her question did to me. Cue the speech - every time I think about it, it makes me angrier. The emotional blackmail involving my children - who were in the room at the time so could hear everything!! - 'you have three kids now to think about it, I want you to return to them well/the kids are older now and will know if things go wrong/you have to think about your children. Going on about how she just wanted me in the safest place if what happened last times happens (I was badly anaemic last time which caused problems - I am no where close to anaemic this time. Like I said, this is the healthiest I have ever been in pregnancy). Thankfully the 'safety/but your history' statements ended with my husband asking how anything that happened last time could have been prevented in hospital, didn't quite have an answer beyond 'but everything will be right there' (except last time, they were told to prep before I left and it still took them 15 minutes after I arrived to do anything).

She just wouldn't answer our concerns about going to hospital and made up imaginary ones to talk about instead (my concern is that I was treated like garbage - she went on about how she understands how some women can be concerned about being monitored). Oh the patronizing - "I know home is a lovely environment, but..." I don't give two tosses about the environment to be honest, I care that the last two times I've been there, I've been treated like crap having been stepped in. I've had people put my baby deliberately out of reach and been referred to be horrid nicknames "Oh, you can complain about that" was the only response - it's kinda hard to complain and have people take you seriously in the middle of labour/wired up ill after a manual placenta removal.

At the last moment, she pulled a rabbit out and explained that the hospital now has a midwife-led maternity unit - again going on and on about I there wouldn't be constant monitoring. She said I should be able to go in since my pregnancy has been so straight forward and low-risk. So which am I - low risk because I've had a healthy pregnancy or high risk because my last pregnancy wasn't so well? She then gave me a pamplet that has no information on the unit at all (all it says is that if you are under midwife led care, you can choose to give birth at home or in hospital), told me to look it up on the website as it's "so lovely" (the video on the website is 5 minutes long, about 5 seconds given the midwife led unit mostly showing how pretty it is and there is a pool). I can get no other information on it at all.

The thing that really digs me is the "We'll support you whatever you decide, but I really really want you to make a sensible decision for your family" that she repeated like a mantra throughout. Which came across as sensible equals hospital.

I wish she'd brought this up earlier - I'm in the home straight and really don't want to deal with more hoops and people. We told her we'd think about it, neither my husband or I are impressed by the information she's given us so he's going to call her during her one office hour tomorrow and ask her the million and one questions she failed to answer. My husband likes the idea, kinda, but doesn't like the lack of information and everything so up in the air if we could even get in?

I want to go curl up and be in the quiet. This is really long, I'm sorry, I just needed to get this off of my chest.

Caliphora Mon 17-Oct-11 22:36:00

just and stace I'm all for the brilliant work of social services, and support them 100% - as long as they work fair, and in this case I felt un-supported, blind folded and lied to. I had already asked for support and help from my GP and mental health team - this midwife referred me to Social Services without consulting me or explaining what she was doing to me - thus making me feel lumped in with those parents who are "under suspicion" and thus don't get told because they may further harm their child.
I.e. - I'd already agreed to be on the radar of health professionals, and even had to fight to get advice on keeping my medication up while bf-ing (which I may have to give up hope for, as it was). That to me should open channels for communication - not shady referrals made without discussion with the proper channels (SHO etc).
I'm on fluoxetine for General Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I have been for 6 years. I can hold down a job, keep a tidy house and generally function like anybody else with my medication. Without it I get anxious and fretful in situations of pressure, as well as have obsessive thought patterns about my behaviour in those situations of pressure.
Cut down past psycho-babble: unless I take my tablets, I am a control freak and beat myself up mentally when I lose any imaginary/real control, to the point of catatonic states of insomnia and panic attacks.

So yes, I have a problem, and I have spent the last 17 years of my life trying to overcome it, in liaison with doctors, psychiatrists and community health professionals. In return for that self-realisation and eagerness to be helped, I expect to be treated with dignity and respect, not with suspicion and frankly patronising attitudes.

Apologies for the rant, but it was really hurtful to have those 17 years of hard work thrown in a bin by a midwife who'd never met me before or even made an effort to consult me at all.

Merlioness Tue 18-Oct-11 04:48:45

Oh dear, sounds like a few ladies are having a rough time again, which is really not needed this late on! I hope you can all feel better very soon.
NotJust go with what is right for you. I can’t believe that she left it so late! I hope that your DH gets answers, but the MW seems to be good at avoiding questions sad
Cali I really feel for you. Of course SS should look closely at people, but I agree that the MW referring you without your knowledge and so sneakily where you have reached out in a significant manner to get yourself help is ridiculous. I would still complain about her big time. Hope things get better
Folic I hope you are well and that things are progressing well.

Bad night here with lots of painful baby movements and a sick DH sad&#8232;

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 06:16:02

Not just you have my utter sympathy. Although slightly different circumstances I am able to see similarities between your story and mine. Yes there are differences but the the fact that the professionals we rely on for support and rational treatment can sometimes appear well the opposite! Definitely ring the mw today. Ask your questions and when you have your answers then you can make decisions. You have to give birth where you are comfortable, I've realised that myself. Whilst you have doubts you won't be able to make an informed decision. Also ask if you can tour the MLU. I haven't got brilliant advice, just wanted to empathise really. Rant away! It will get sorted.
Cali, you have been treated unfairly. The mw should have spoken to you and discussed her concerns before doing anything else. At the moment she can only make decisions about you and not the baby until it is born. Sorry if that sounded awful, it wasn't meant to! Personally if you were presenting to me and you were telling me that you had looked for guidance and support regarding meds, support and so on I would want to see you supported further not belittled in the way you have been!
Couldnt sleep very well. Very tired but just kept waking up. Scan at 11.20 and have to go into work first.
Wonder how Folic is doing? So hoping our new arrivals are doing well too!

KellyKettle Tue 18-Oct-11 07:17:19

NotJust & Cali your posts have made me so cross.

NotJust why exactly are they against you having s home birth?

Cali you summed it up beautiful when you said your self awareness and eagerness to be helped had been completely over-looked. I cannot believe she can treat someone like that. I'm sure she has a duty of care in regard to this but she's a midwife - there to support you not treat you like a vessel carrying a baby.

I hope you will complain to her supervisor.

People need to stop treating pregnant women like brainless, selfish morons who are making choices based on their own wishes and not the what's best for them & their babies.

smilingcl Tue 18-Oct-11 09:00:42

Notjust It sounds like a midwife trying to make the lives of her and her team easier, home births are harder work for them to supply people for it's more convenient for them to get people into hospital and she may feel that if they have a birthing unit now it should do the job for you. I'd try to overlook her manipulative comments, tour the birthing unit and then make the decision that you feel comfortable with. Its annoying that she's laying her preferences on you but there's no reason for you not to get the birth you want.

notjust I too am angry on your behalf. Whatever the reasons for her wanting to get you to hospital, using emotional pressure of being safe for your other children is unacceptable. You would never do anything to hurt your other children and as you are gormonal, this will play on your mind perhaps. Don't let it - you've had 2 previous hbs, a 3rd is logical. And as for her saying 'in hospital you'll be safe (or words along those lines) she just cannot guarantee that. Yes, hospitals are generally safe in this country but there are risks and poor outcomes occasionally wherever you give bith. No one can remove all risk. Your DH sounds fab and he's taking the pressure off you. Decide where is best for you and your family to have the baby and calmly state your intentions. If at home, then 'thanks for your information but we will be having a hb. I'll await your confirmation and the hb pack'. End of.

I'm feeling crap today. I'm swining between being breathless and feeling sick all day to lots of hunger but I get full within a few bites. It's what I imagine a gastric band is like!
Plus DD had an awful drop off at nursery. She's never been like this before. Crying, screaming, clinging onto me. Was awful. I know she'll be ok as she's been there over 2 yrs but nmow I'm heavily pg and have working mum guilt. Just want to curl up in a ball. sad

Merlioness Tue 18-Oct-11 10:48:20

sad MrsA sounds tough. Hope you feel better soon emotionally as well as healthwise

Caliphora Tue 18-Oct-11 10:55:15

NotJust Another one of those gobsmacking moments - what on earth is stopping you from a home birth? They're supposed to support and encourage them, not use your children as emotional blackmail. Seriously. angry

So, had growth scan and induction assessment today... I'm 2 cm dilated all by myself, and baby's head is 1/5 (oh, could I feel it go there this morning...) - consultant did a full sweep and said if it's not happened by Thursday they'll progress it.
Growth scan shows a sizeable 8lbs 8 oz baby, but they're not concerned about that as much as my body spouting out protein like it had nothing better to do.
As I've been having contractions for a week now I'm quite happy for them to move it on on Thursday, I'm just hoping it sets in by itself before then!

TwoJackRussellsandabean Tue 18-Oct-11 11:03:26

Cali, exciting!!! Fingers crossed for you smile

MrsA hope things get better soon, maybe she's just having a bad day and tomorrow will be better?

NotJust, hope you find someone who will support you, have you spoken to the head of midwifery? Might be the next stage to getting what you want, after all it's your body, baby and family.

Just made lemon drizzle cake, nom nom nom, boredom continues, although have had some weird swelling in between the third and fourth knuckles on my left hand but, no where else is swelling more than usual so going to keep an eye on it, but generally putting it down to weird pregnancy stuff.

Anyone heard from Folic yet?

juststarting Tue 18-Oct-11 11:29:44

Oh Cali, i completely agree. I would have to have a very, very, very good reason to be referring a client to social services in any way without speaking to them about it and about my reasons first, and I would also expect to be providing them with information about what that might mean. The way its happened for you is crazy bad practice. As someone who suffers from mental health problems myself, I have had the opposite experience of despite fidning myself really struggling after my son was born, nothing has been mentioned to me about support available or anything this time around. Daft. But then, like you, I have sought and been open to help and perhaps they have confidence I would do that again. To be honest, I think they just have forgotten about it. And well done on the 2cm. keep going! And dont get to stressed by the social services rubbish. You're doing fine, nothing is going to come of it, it might be the least stressful thing to do to just put up with the odd visit and wait for them to realise they're not exactly making best use of their resources. Though if you can find a way of using them to access what WOULD be useful, go for it.
NotJust. Sorry. Ridiculous situation. I have to say, I've spent the last few years spouting all this "midwifery is where its at!" stuff to all my friends who want medics and hospitals and so on, and this pregnancy has left me feeling "midwives are too powerful and a bit lame". I too have had the "I cant stop you having a home birth but...." though to be fair, my baby is breach, so we know, at the moment, there IS a problem. And I KNOW they are seriously underresourced at the moment, and that isnt their fault, but its not our fault either and we have to suffer for it. I'm not saying there is a solution, these people really probably dont have the time to remember who we are and where we're at with stuff, but, I dont know, I guess I kind of hope they would a bit anyway.
Right, I had to take a phone meeting at home, and now I have to go into the office. Naughty me checking mumsnet first. Waiting for news of folic.
Any suggestions for activities for a 2 year old's birthday party? We've only got a handful of kids coming, but no planned activities.

Caliphora Tue 18-Oct-11 11:48:10

just If you can get them to sit down in one place at the same time - story telling was my favourite birthday party activity smile

Caliphora Tue 18-Oct-11 12:03:18

I'd also like to add the the consultant said she'd "boinked" the baby's head, which made DP giggle no end.

PamSco Tue 18-Oct-11 14:48:53

I've been checking phone - nothing from Folic from me. Itching to find out though but not going to text!

I'm off for my last growth scan just now so maybe I'll see her leaving the hospital with a bundle wink

cep Tue 18-Oct-11 15:19:49

notjust that's disgusting, doesn't sound like you've had a genuine reason for not having a hb. i agree with mrsa.

cali good luck

mrsa she was probably fine when you left. hope she's ok when you pick her up.

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 15:39:42

Cali - exciting times!! Am crossing fingers that you get sorted before thursday just to make it simple but either way am very pleased to hear you are so close!!

Fab appointment with the hospital. I was .3 out for getting in at the MLU when I was booked in -nobody had explained this to me until today where a lovely mw/sonographer tried AGAIN to get me into the MLU and was unable to. Baby is around 6lb 10-15ozs. Not huge, no issues and definitely still a girl! I had a good long chat to the 2 mw's carrying out the scan and they were lovely. Shocked that things had got so complicated and really supportive of either a hb or hospital. Raised eyebrows at my community mw being prepared to leave it so late too. OH and I have decided to re-examine our hb vs CLU discussion as a result of chatting to those mw's. Feel much more ontop of things!

OH starts new job tomorrow......

Hope everyone is ok.

SnoozleDoozle Tue 18-Oct-11 18:12:20

Loads going on here, as always! Had a bit of an eventful day myself, although not necessarily in the best of ways. Had my usual hospital appt, and they did a growth scan, and told me the baby is still measuring big for dates, but on the other hand, they don't estimate the weight to have increased since the last scan a fortnight ago. They want to leave it one more week, and if there is still no growth, then its straight into the hospital for me. But because baby has turned again, the almost definite elective c-section that was on the cards a fortnight ago is now a 'we'll wait and see what happens next week' so I'm all back to not knowing what is going on. Anyway, the doctor was lovely, so that helped (although once again it was a different one, who I hadn't seen before - so I think now I have seen something like 9 different doctors, and haven't seen 'my' consultant on even one of those appts).

Heading out of the hospital I managed to trip and fall and land full force on my belly. Was in such shock that I gathered myself up, came home to DH (who happened to be off work today, as had DIY type stuff to be doing in the house) who put me in the car and took me straight back to hospital, where thankfully the midwives were very adamant that it was the right thing to do as I needed more anti d (ouch!) but after an hour or so of monitoring they are happy enough that all is well, I have just been sent home with instructions to keep a careful eye on baby's movements.

Anyway, hope everyone else's days were more productive, and less eventful than mine. Can't wait to hear about Folic and have my fingers crossed for Cali too that these contractions actually lead somewhere in the near future.

bumpsnowjustplump Tue 18-Oct-11 18:37:32

Well good and bad news today. I am so worried I am litterally crying and all the hca's seem to just be brushing my fears under the carpet..

Baby is not breach but is weighing in at a whooping 8lb6 already. I am 37+4 today so still have potentially 4.5 weeks to go. I am also carrying huge amounts of fluid. I have a consultants appointment tomorrow to discuss things and i am going to beg to be induced early but have been warned that she probably wont want to do that.

I cant believe it DD was 8lb 4 and i really stuggled with her and needed help ds was 8lb 12 and I needed help with him as well and if I go over then this baby has the potential to be 11lb...

Any tips on what to say to get early induction hugely appriciated right now..

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 18:37:51

Ouch snoozle! Absolutely right to go back and be checked! Glad everything seems fine though.
Anyone else feel like they are going to be pg forever? I swear I don't have even braxton hicks these days! In a grump cos I went to try and lie down and catch up on some of last nights missed sleep, something I rarely do but was just so knackered I felt like I was a zombie, eventually get comfy enough in bed to drop off when the kids end up arguing just as OH wakes up from his snooze on the settee and comes in to wake me up! 5 mins snooze and am feeling even more zombie like and really irritated! Now it's time to make the dinner and sort out the washing and tidying..... I swear superwoman could not beat me in a head to head at the minute the amount of stuff I seem to be doing! Argghhh!!

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 18:40:57

Ah cross post with my self absorbed rant bumps, sorry. Tell the consultant your fears and sit there and cry and rage if you have to. I don't know what would make them induce you early apart from explaining what you have just said there. Am sorry you are feeling so stressed, I would just keep on saying how concerned you are about the size already and the issues you have had previously.

bumpsnowjustplump Tue 18-Oct-11 18:48:28

I dont think I will be able to keep the tears at bay anyway Voodoo so that wont be a problem. DD and DS were both a week early so i might be worried over nothing but thought of going two weeks over and baby being 11lb is making me so stressed!!

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 18:59:45

I can imagine! Too stressful this pregnancy malarky! When can we try erm more natural methods? Lol

mashpot Tue 18-Oct-11 19:08:01

Oh gosh, we're all falling apart. Poor you snoozle.

I've just returned from hospital myself, where I ended up at 6am this morn. I was having awful stomach pains from 5pm yesterday but was convinced it was trapped wind. Anyway, it got worse and worse till I had a band of pain around my whole body and couldn't even lie down. Then I started vomiting and couldn't even keep down water so at 5 I woke DH and told him we were going to hospital.

I have some kind of gastritis brought on by too much acid in my stomach that had got really bad. They gave me anti nausea injections and tablets but I still vommed for another 4 hours before things settled down. I spent the day on a drip so I wasn't dehydrated and they monitored the baby a few times but it seems fine. I have been allowed home and hope that is the end if the sickness.

bump I hope you have a good chat with consultant to sort this out, completely understand your fears.

H007 Tue 18-Oct-11 19:09:56

bumps I was told that they font like toninduce early bases on size as it is more likely to result in a cs, my consultant also told me that babies grow very little post 37 weeks.

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 19:20:21

Oh crikey what a day everyone's having!! Mash are you feeling any better?

TwoJackRussellsandabean Tue 18-Oct-11 19:22:05

Bumps please try not to get too distressed about the size of the baby, you just need to talk to your consultant tomorrow and see what they say, if they are any sort of decent doctor they will at least try to deal with your concerns. You might be surprised tomorrow but at least hopefully you will be less worried about it all. I have burst into tears at the last two appointments I had, so much so I now have birth anxiety in capital letters written on my notes, just in case anyone doesn't realise!!!

Snoozle, ouch!!! Hope you get better soon, you too Mashpot

bumpsnowjustplump Tue 18-Oct-11 19:30:33

Thank you all for your kind words. Got to calm down and try not to panic, what will be will be wont it, I am not going to change hospital proceedure!!

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 19:36:58

Yep pretty much! Still doesn't make it enjoyable though does it. Am sure everything will be fine and anyways you read some great story's on here where people have delivered larger babies with no problems. Worth keeping in mind perhaps?

Caliphora Tue 18-Oct-11 19:59:15

Bump Mine was 7.5 lbs at 34 weeks - today at 38+1 she was 8.8 lbs... They're inducing me early for several reasons that are quite similar to yours, but be prepared to have the "I understand that I have to wait until 38 weeks at least"-talk.
And ask to speak to a senior consultant if you, like I, had a junior doctor who didn't listen in to or measure the baby before almost sending me home without discussing my medication or enormous baby first ;) - she just asked me how I felt, took my BP and asked why I had come to see them in the first place (the senior consultant later asked her if she'd read my notes, and she blushed and said 'no', as well as admitting not measuring or listening in - the senior consultant looked less than impressed).
Don't be afraid to pull on every opinion to see what options are available - but also trust that they wouldn't make you go through anything they didn't think you could handle. Just be adamant about seeing everyone first, not just a mw.

Quick post to thank all of you for your kind words and sympathies! It's really cheered my up.

Husband called earlier (very limited time we're suppose to call, still had to leave a message), she called back. Apparently, I would normally be too high risk for it, but since this pregnancy has gone so well, she can call up and tell them I only need intermitted monitoring, but after that it's up to them. Feels like back peddling, but that may be me being paranoid. He asked a few other things - mostly about him being allowed to stay as bad experiences in the past make me very nervous about being in hospital alone. (answer was he can stay throughout if I stay on the labour ward and am discharged in six hours, but not if I have to go to the maternity ward at night which would happen if I can't be discharged at the 6 hours due to health problems or I give birth at a difficult time). Still can't decide, brain feels all floppy after being hit with a curve ball. I really don't want to spend the rest of my pregnancy stressed out about this - either comments from the midwife for not making the 'sensible' choice or having to be alone in hospital and be mistreated again. Oy vey, I feel like I can;t get my head on straight about this.

momagain Tue 18-Oct-11 20:03:13

Wow! there is alot going on.
I hope everything goes well for you all.
I am expecting my 3rd child by C/S on 2nd November. I have an infection at the moment, so I have my fingers crosssed he doesn't come sooner.
I feel for you Bumps. My 2nd DD was 10lb, which was very large for me (however this was 11 years ago) and I also had to ask for induction. I hope you get the reasurance you need and all goes well.

bumpsnowjustplump Tue 18-Oct-11 20:07:41

Thank you Cal I will make sure I am heard and will speak to a senior. I am 38 weeks on friday, I would be happy if they said they would induce me on my due date to be honest its the going over due that is a worry..

Staceroo Tue 18-Oct-11 20:07:53

Oh dear what a pants day had by all! Hope everyone's evenings are looking up! Hopefully folic is to be delivering some happy news soon!!!

twojacks i'm drooling at the thought of lemon drizzle cake!!!

Cali fingers crossed thinks get going properly for you soon!!!

I'm really surprised at the shocking midwife attitudes people seme to be having! I really must be so lucky with the team I have, I am basically allowed to make my mind up when I'm in labour as to where i want to go, they'll bring a pool and tens machine to the house if i want them, or can go to hospital or birthing centre. I know I am supposedly 'low risk' so it isn't as complicated, but i do seem really lucky.

Wanted to share a bit of advise from my birth prep class at the weekend... the lady suggested that every day, or a few times a day, we should ask ourselves, "could I keep going for 24 hours now if labour started?". My answer is a blanket no at the minute, but as soon as this week at work is up, I plan to try my very best to be able to answer yes to that question. So making sure that I have eated plenty, drank plenty, had enough sleep (hmmmm... not so likely i know!) and generally feel ready for what may be a long haul!

Hope everyone is having a happy evening! xx

juststarting Tue 18-Oct-11 20:22:43

Staceroo, I've asked myself that a few times of late and never been able to answer anythign other than "er, seems a bit implausible, but I guess the body survives stuff". I too need to finish work and get better at maintaining myself.
Crappy day all round? My anxiety has been quite problematic today too. Onset of sick bug season is becoming evident and I know it sounds pathetic and everything, but I just live in constant fear of sickness. Its the most ludicrous, dominating phobia. I hate it. And whats horrid is I am scared of my child all the time. He could without warning become the most frightening being on the planet to me, just by throwing up. Its crap.
Speaking of which, Mashpot, nightmare.
Lets hope there was a general disturbance in the force today and tomorrow all will be improving? Tomorrow, my baby turns two!

lktoday5 Tue 18-Oct-11 20:38:37

Yikes all, just to add to our great day I'm currently hooked up to a monitor as saw my community mw today and wasn't happy with a) my fetal movement and b) the fact that despite 3 lots of antibiotics in 7 weeks I still have a uti. I have however seen a very good dr who has been very thorough. Verdict is I need stronger antibiotics and also that the ones I've been on have also caused a yeast infection. So 5 more days of ab's plus canesten. sad I'm just not very good at this pregnancy malarkey.
I'm on my phone so can't shout out everyone but to all those who've had a bad day we can only have a better one tomorrow. smile

cep Tue 18-Oct-11 20:42:40

i'm sorry that so many of you are having hurdles put up in front of you so late in the game. I really hope you'll be able to sort the problems out.

notjust what is it you and dh want to do??

bumps i can understand you being concerned, but agree with twojacks, see what the consultant says tomorrow, (being prepared to cry if necessary.) but they need to know your concerns and why you have them.

voodoo goodluck for dh tomorrow.

mom good luck for the 2nd, hope the infection doesn't start things early.

Tjuice Tue 18-Oct-11 21:09:23

gosh there is so much anxiety and stress on the thread right now! Really feeling for everyone as this should be chill time...but of course it isn't...

fingers crossed for cali, notjust and bumps - hope all works out well
mashpot - hope you are feeling better - sounds rough. I feel like nothing goes down at the moment...and I need daily help with constipation, eating loads of prunes, drinking tons of water and taking magnesium tablets (midwife recommended here in dk and were great after the birth too, when you just don't want to push anything, if you know what I mean). I hate having to take any drug or supplement everyday but this time round, my digestion is buggered.

I am still adjusting to being on maternity leave. There are loads of little things to do but the end (of the list) is actually in sight. And the best thing is not being so stressed out about dropping my DD off to kindergarten and picking her up after work- we have relaxed mornings and without me constantly harping on to hurry up, she is so funny, loving and cheerful. Its the first time that I have actually felt sad to be a f/t working mum...

juststarting - your phobia sounds really distressing...i was wondering if hypnotherapy would help?
I'm actually pretty skeptical about stuff like that but I had it 10 years ago for confidence issues and was quietly amazed at how powerful it is. It also helped my dad with quitting smoking and drinking. And I have been wondering if my (very cynical) brother should try it, as he has been out of work for a year which has eroded his confidence. Could be worth a try if you haven't already.
I am a bit embarrassed to admit it because it seems uncommon (esp. on a thread like this) , but I have a real, paralyzing phobia about giving birth. And having had a baby (in a terrifyingly fast, painful but luckily uneventful way) has not helped. In fact, I am more scared now. I have been in a process talking to my own doctor, a psychologist, my midwife and two obstetricians about it but am still pretty wound up...

Anyway, slight change of topic after that admission - I made broccoli and stilton soup today, and yesterday baked brownies...After months of eating boiled eggs and rye bread for tea, this is a turn-around for me!

juststarting Tue 18-Oct-11 21:23:45

Tjuice - boiled eggs would contipate me in those quantities! Yes, I've been through four therapists - two CBT, one psychodynamically orientated and one hypnotherapist in the last three years. But I am wondering about giving hypnotherapy another shot. I've read up on the evidence and peoples experiences of it and frankly frankly it doesnt look favourable, but I would give almost anything to be rid of it, and I dont think I gave the hypnotherapy a proper try, cause I didnt find it helping. But a second try may be in order. If any of my celleagues found out I'd be ostracised forever!
Sorry about your own phobia about birth - like me and the sick thing, embarking on a second pregnancy must have been a very brave step for you. I too found that actually getting a sick virus (my first mothers day as a mother. Lovely) made me ten tims worse when I had always assumed it would make me better. I can empathise with the level of fear. I've been looking at compassion focused and mindfullness type therapeutic approaches for myself and its made a slight positive difference to be able to accept the anxiety instead of fighting it at times. But half the fear is abotu the fear itself for me, I'm sure.
Anyway. Birthday card making time.

voodoomunkee Tue 18-Oct-11 21:34:53

Gosh I agree maybe today the world is out of kilter? Not a great day for a lot of us i suspect.
LK sorry to hear about the uti's, can't imagine how bad you must be feeling constantly putting up with that! Just happy birthday for your lo tomorrow! Also can't imagine how scary your phobia must be, certainly I think it must be utterly debilitating.
Tjuice there's nothing wrong with being scared of giving birth! Tis a scary process! Good that you are talking to people about it for sure.
Hope I haven't missed anyone, sorry if I have!
Wonder how pam's growth scan went?
Ive been fed and watered, OH is all sorted for tomorrow (fingers crossed). Dead uncomfortable, had some odd pains.... Typical after saying I wasn't even getting BH's!

H007 Tue 18-Oct-11 22:19:02

just I'm also scared of giving birth, I've almost being denying that it's going to happen... But as I'm scared I'm not even really sure what I'm scared of if that makes sense?

Been having the worst ever back spasms tonight :-( they hurt so much and my bump has gone rock hard kinda hoping this doesn't mean anything, but also kinda hoping it does haha

juststarting Tue 18-Oct-11 23:26:52

Honestly, me too on the giving birth front - I didnt much like it last time, and frankly, the reason I did it drug free is cause the drugs make people sick. But so does labour generally, and surgical procedures like c sections. Thus there is the fear of the, you know, pain, passing a baby etc, but more than that, the fear of being sick. Ridiculous.

cep Wed 19-Oct-11 08:16:12

I think for those worried about labour, the best thing to do is to think of things that would relax you during in, such as listening to music, having a bath etc.

voodoo fx for your dh today hon.

TwoJackRussellsandabean Wed 19-Oct-11 08:18:30

Me three, cry everytime I think about how much this baby coming out is going to hurt, but on the other hand rationally I know that it's the only way to have the baby on the outside and that worrying about the pain is going to make me tense up and then it'll hurt even more! Am trying more and more to ignore the actual birth and focus on life afterwards, to the extent that I have been shopping for an outfit for baby's first xmas, I don't know if it's a girl or boy but if it's a girl this is the most adorable outfit to wear girls dress, even took DH into Boots to show him last weekend, love it!!!

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 08:35:24

Oh lk that sounds absolutely crap. UTIs are horrid. How are you getting on? I hope you're feeling better.

Tjuice your soup sounds delicious. I'm in bed but so tempted to get up and make soup now. Could you just pop some in the post to me?

Just, H & T phobias aren't logical but they are real. There is nothing worse than revealing a phobia to someone and having them mock it or tell you how to get over it. I had a terrible fear of injections and having blood taken.

When I worked for the NHS many years ago (non-clinical role) I couldn't face having the flu jab. It honestly made me want to cry or be sick whenever I thought about it. A colleague said to me one day "I wonder how many patient deaths you're responsible for this year". I was devastated. I never had patient contact or flu. I had Hypnotherapy the next year and did have the jab but it was fear free but I went.

I found out I was pregnant with DD1 and again had the terror because I knew I'd have to give blood etc. I had to lie down on the bed for all needles - still do.

I suppose having so many (i had ops after DD1 was born too) has helped me to stop being so afraid but it's still there. People usually laugh and tell me I'm being stupid, it doesn't hurt. It's not the fear of the pain, it's the thought of the needle in my vein (sorry if that makes anyone else feel sick).

I think fear of birth is completely normal. Especially if you haven't done it before. Why wouldn't you fear it? We see it on tv and women are screaming, our friends tell horror stories.

I had DD2 on Saturday and used no drugs, had a 1st degree tear which the MW offered to put one stitch in for cosmetic reasons (Lol - like I'm going to be lying awake worrying about what my fanjo looks like!). The main reason I said no is because I couldn't bear the thought of an injection or the needle going through to stitch it. It scared me more than birth. Phobias are strange that way.

Anyway, that incredibly verbose post is just to say I understand.

I had a huge fear of birth with DD1 but not really with DD2. I think the difference was partly down to having heard so many positive birth stories IRL lately and not watching OBEM USA


KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 08:42:53

Yes, fear definitely makes it more painful. With DD1 I dreaded the next contraction ad found the pain so hard to manage.

With DD2 I felt like my contractions never got close together so was wishing the next one to come so that I could meet the baby.

I know everyone says "take it one contraction at a time and see each one as being in step closer to meeting your baby".

I didn't consciously try to do that but I suppose that's how it went. Plus the contraction was only really painful at it's peak so the start and end were manageable. I thought I'd just see how I coped with each one rather than worry about the next one.

Plus you have options, you can have drugs, gas and air, diamorphine/pethidine, epidural.

Movement and breathing help, having a hot shower in early labour was brilliant for me.

You can plan techniques to use, this might help you feel more calm and look forward to your birth.

PamSco Wed 19-Oct-11 08:46:30

Right ladies, I am feeling this build up of tension and anxiety. My bossy boots are coming out.....


I do hope anyone feeling scared and panicky has an understanding hug in real life - I will always offer a slightly less effective internet one. But here's the rub...

You are all amazing, what we are about to go through is a miracle and we are designed by the greatest power of all evolution and nature to do this. We just need to relax and remove tension. We are all different shapes and sizes but we are all walking (well in my case slightly waddling) miracles of design.

I'm going to be controversial now, I'm really going to miss being pregnant. I'm relishing being of work so I can spend more focused time in the day (when I'm awake) with my bump. I love his wriggles, his kicks, his funny little hand movements where I imagine he is playing poker. The birth will happen - no getting around that but then the real blessing I'll be cuddling my son.

PMA ladies, PMA. We will get to cuddle this wee wriggling mite. Yeh yeh there is a bit in the middle, if the bit in the middle is really scary then do what I do, resort to denial. Denial is a lovely place, very calm.

Stace thanks for sharing that pearl of wisdom - I found it really useful. You are so right - could I cope this minute if it all kicked off? Though it did panic His Nibs hee hee smile

Hope today brings peace and calm. Fat chance but I hope it does... Remember your PMA and keep that image in your mind - cuddly baby.

PamSco Wed 19-Oct-11 08:52:47

Reading back, I'm not convinced I don't sound like dismissive biatch! Not my intention. Phobias are really HORRIBLE and I really don't dismiss how they make you feel. I think I just meant distraction with positive images may help, just a tiny bit.

Kelly as always you are more eloquent!

36+3 weeks today - well engaged and average growth at last scan yesterday - head growth was less but they said that was due to being engaged.

busyboysmum Wed 19-Oct-11 08:56:41

Totally agree with PamSco here - all apart from the missing being pregnant bit!! I had a horrid day yesterday like most of you - bad back, aches, to top it all I have developed very painful PILES aaaaaargh! Horrid, so I was feeling totally miserable and well ready for this pregnancy lark to be over.

The very thing that makes birth hard is fear, I honestly believe it. It is totally overwhelming and not like anything else you have experienced but if you believe in the capability of your bodies to do it you will be fine. You are all strong women, we have fantastic medical care in this country, just don't panic - go with it, breathe, allow your bodies to get on with the natural function they were designed to do.

Don't worry about it - it will happen, it will only be one day, it will be over and you will have your amazing little baby in your arms and you will instantly forget all about the pain and just be totally in love.

It is so worth it.

Have a great day everyone xxx

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 09:07:45

Pam I just read your post and thought "ah, yes, what Pam said"

I need to learn to say things in a couple of sentences instead of 100 paragraphs! grin

Loved your post Pam, think it's beautiful actually and you really calmed me down with wise words about DD2 position, mild labour freak out etc. I've been very grateful each time smile

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 09:13:47

And yy busyboys another lovely post!

I have a theory based on nothing other than my own half-baked ideas

I think you're supposed to get annoyed by being pregnant in the end to prepare you for birth/make you welcome it.

MooseyMoo Wed 19-Oct-11 09:34:57

What was going on yesterday? Hope everybody is going to have a better day today.

For me, it was the sense of unknown. I didn't know how painful birth was going to be, how I would cope. I decided the best action was to not have one and keep an open mind, ie not to get hung up on a natural birth. My birth plan was a couple of lines.

This time I know what to expect (kind of, unless this baby is not back to back!) and I much preferred not knowing!

Had presentation scan and baby is head down on left. So all good there, also 4/5 engaged. I knew this as my waddle is more pronounced. Had scan on maternity ward so saw lots of new babies leaving hospital. So cute and dinky. Don't remember DD being that small, but then she was nearly 9lbs and looked like a 1 month old hmm. Also major flashbacks as that was the ward I was on for 4 nights after DD birth. Made it more real.

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 09:49:15

moosey are you giving birth there this time?

Fab news about the presentation scan! DD1 was b2b and DD2 was head down, on left (but not quite OA). 2nd birth was so different, sensations were different, length of labour. Hard to know how much is babies position and how much is second time mum. I guess every birth is different <cliche but true>

Tjuice Wed 19-Oct-11 10:13:17

Its great that we are sounding a bit more positive on here! it's really supportive.
And I agree with a lot of this kind of thinking but here's the rub smile

Fear (especially of the unknown) is a natural thing that relaxation and focus can definitely help with, but a phobia is a different and irrational beast. Which is why I admire just for being so open. I try avoid these conversations about birth phobia or tokophobia because it's not something I can rationalise and being a pretty scientific and rational person, I find it awkward. Also I don't want to seem ungrateful for the advice and sympathy offered.

But for me the only thing that is keeping me calm is having all my birth options open right now including an elective c/s. Controversial maybe, to those who are against them, but that's the situation.

In other matters, I feel a bit guilty right now because I just put my dad off from visiting me before the birth. He wants to come and help out with dd but although his intentions are great, he doesnt really do that much and when anyone visits, I want to make food and show them around, make sure they have a good time etc, even if I try to be relaxed about it. He seems a little hurt but as my dh says, this time before birth is really precious and you never get it back. The whole family are coming out again in late November anyway. With my last birth, my FiL was visiting from the states and I went into labour a month early on a bus tour with him! And I really just wanted to crawl under a bush and give birth on my own, like an animal.

Today, I am seeing my midwife, dyeing some blankets and preparing for two days of doing up dd's bedroom with the help of my mad Norwegian interior designer friend. She is getting an elevated double bed, with a canopy and storage boxes and a hidey-hole underneath, painted bookshelves, wall stickers, new carpet and the works. And it won't be princessy!

voodoomunkee Wed 19-Oct-11 10:28:03

Morning everyone!I agree we sound much more supportive and together today!

Good news that the babies seem to be behaving themselves thus far today.

I dont think it is even unreasonable or unusual to be scared of giving birth... I have done it twice before, once with forceps and as much as I know you forget it when you have your lovely baby, it is STILL scary! Fear isnt rational, so it stands that phobia's aren't either.

Anyways PMA today is that I know have less than 8 full working days left at work, OH was dropped successfully off near his new job and I have completed an annoying task already at work this morning.

I am starting to look forward to my time off. I will be 38+3 so probably won't want to do too much but relaxation sounds great!

MooseyMoo Wed 19-Oct-11 11:00:13

kelly yes, I'm opting for the mlu again. Last time I had to be moved as contractions died off when in pool at 7cms. Had to put me on drip to start off contractions. First room was so lovely with en suite, then moved to dungeon and lots of monitoring leads but by that point I didn't care, as long as baby was delivered.

tj sorry, didn't mean to ignore your phobia. I'm impressed that you are going through with birth again. Re elcs, I would have one too if in your shoes, nothing wrong with them.

just I know your little madam is breech. I found this thread on helpful tips for after cs. Looked it up in case baby was breech yesterday.

mashpot Wed 19-Oct-11 11:11:57

Morning all, I'm feeling much better today and hope everyone else who had a rubbish day has turned a corner too, there must have been some strange planetary alignment!

On the phone so just a quick post but am desperate for news from Folic! also I haven't joined the Facebook group but don't want to miss out on birth stories so can I join? Who do I need to pm?

I was supposed to have a visit from the MW today to drop my homebirth pack off and she didn't show up and turns out she's on holiday! She had passed me on to one of her colleagues but gave them my old address and didn't tell them she had arranged to see me at 10am. I've had to go into the office so will now miss the appt and won't see a MW again until 1 November, I'm starting to feel a bit nervous about the hb team...

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 11:21:11

Blimey Tjuice that's quite a task list!

On the subject of ELCS - imvho fear of birth - especially for women who've had previous birth trauma - is as valid reason as any to have an ELCS. Who says mental health is less important than physical health.

Plus I think women should have autonomy over their bodies. So the only reason I can think I would disagree with a woman having a CS is one where she was being forced to against her will. Probably equally controversial.

Today I shall be mostly lying around (bath/bed/sofa), feeding DD and waiting for the in laws.

TwoJackRussellsandabean Wed 19-Oct-11 11:25:45

So this morning, we told our parents that we are being induced on Monday, my mother in law is in tears she is so excited apparently, oh god, I sound like a bitch but I could do with calm people relaxed people around, going to hide away from her in the next week or even longer if I can get away with it. DH is an only child so this is the first grandchild, my folks already have two granddaughters, so they are much more relaxed about it, my dad just compares this birth to his cows ha ha!!

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 11:42:11

Oh mash that's rubbish! Crap admin doesn't = crap birth support though so don't worry!

PM CEP with your FB name/email address and she'll add you smile

mashpot Wed 19-Oct-11 11:44:49

Thanks Kelly that is true I suppose!

Caliphora Wed 19-Oct-11 11:52:02

TwoJack Quick - lock the doors and turn the lights off! Just pretend you're not home ;)

Yesterday was a bit miserable - had another false start around 2 am, so tired now, but trying to rest and store up my energy for tomorrow - it's hopefully the big day (or the start of a few big days...)!

It's so cold now - I was shivering in bed last night! Time for central heating, methinks.

And keep the PMA coming, Pam et al - I'm scared senseless at the thought of a watermelon coming through my foufou right now, I can't get past the point of thinking something horrible will happen, and I can't imagine having Sprout here with us sad
I don't think it will be real until I hold her and can kiss her little fuzzball head smile

KellyKettle Wed 19-Oct-11 12:13:26

Haha! Twojacks grin

How exciting that you have a date!

I know what you mean about calm people. My mum was actually only holiday when I was in labour, her plane landed just in time for the text message from me announcing DD2s arrival.

When she visited the next day she said "I wish I'd been here for you". I told her I hadn't wanted anyone else, even DH had only materialised for the 2nd stage and that was perfect for me.

She replied "no, you might not have needed me but I needed you".

Oh right, cos in the throws of bearing down I also have to be reassuring my mother that I'm fine.

She has serious NPD traits issues.

So no, not selfish. If you can't be selfish in pregnancy and labour then when can you?

cep Wed 19-Oct-11 12:41:46

twojacks yay for date, and definately lock the doors, this is yours and dh's time, you need to be as calm as you can be without excited relatives popping in to check. Make sure they know you'll call asap afterwards but until then to leave you alone.

kelly ofcourse didn't you know, mothers are there right above dh's for needing to be in the room for the birth. smile from the sound of it i'm glad for your sake, she was on the plane at the time.

alicat10 Wed 19-Oct-11 12:45:12

Best advice I had re fear of / coping with labour was to stay in the present ie only ever ask yourself the question "am I coping right now" don't start thinking can I cope for next hour / 4 hours / 12 hours as you won't know til I get there.

As long as you're coping right now all will be fine and if the answer is 'no' then you need some help either medical help / drugs or some Other techniques - I had a little mantra I kept saying over & over in my head (every step I take takes me 1 step closer) + 4-6 throat breathing + (this might sound a bit hippyish) banishing the 'little girl' me who wants to say 'I can't etc and calling on my inner lioness grrr!

CazandBelle Wed 19-Oct-11 13:04:44

hey sorry its taken me so long to come on and say hello

We finally came home yesterday. Exhausted, recovering very slowly from my emergancy section but so very happy. I've been very anaemic and unwell, Xander has had jaundice and slow to take to feeding so we were kept in for 5 days.

Xander is beautful, the image of his sister. I still can't believe he is here and at home. We sobbed theatre down when he came out screaming. Short version is an awful induction with me reacting badly to drugs. Day 1 nothing happened, after 24 hours I was being treated for hyper stimulation and my labour stopped again with treatment to stop the contractions again (one was starting before other was finished, this went on for hours, dangerous for Xander, could've caused placental abruption). Next morning (Thurs) my waters were broken. Took 12 hours to get to 10cm, and then after 2+ hours pushing he wasn't coming through my pelvis. He wasn't distressed but I obviously was and exhausted and it was time to call it a day and to get him out! Labour recorded as 15 hours 13 minutes. De-brief was his position wasn't great and he was still high up and not moving any further down with each contraction, and his size....

So Alexander Jon arrived 14th Oct at 00:45, weighing a whopping 8lb 13oz (at 36+2!!!) His weight is all in his length though, he is quite skinny really but super long!! (Today he is down to 8lb 4 though, just had first midwife visit and weigh in)

Hope everyone is well! xxx

voodoomunkee Wed 19-Oct-11 13:13:53

Caz! Fab, got shivers down my spine reading your story! Huge congratulations to you all. Am so pleased for you, hope your recovery is swift too. grin

TwoJacks eek not long to go, spend the time chilling out and relaxing and preparing smile

BuffyFan Wed 19-Oct-11 13:16:31

Hi all,

I've been lurking again but just wanted to jump on quickly to say cogratulations to Caz, Kelly and Lizzy! Caz, glad all is now well, even if birth didn't go quite as expected / wished. "Healthy happy baby is all that matters" is pretty much my mantra!

Sorry to all those having a tough time due to rubbish care or feeling crap. I had another meltdown at work last week (sobbing uncontrollably on various people for no readily apparent reason). Not fun, v embarassing, but it has got the point across at work that (a) I am heavily pregnant and don't have the stamina to work silly hours and (b) I only have seven days left in the office and can't take on any major projects!

Anyway, seven days left in the office and I can't wait to be off! I'm 35+1, so still hoping that I will have at least a week or two of mat leave before bump turns to baby. I want to get the Christmas cards written!

alicat10 Wed 19-Oct-11 13:35:51

Ladies, I have a donation to my bank account that I'm not sure who its from.... please PM me if it's you

Everyone else I think I have confirmed receipt - if you have sent money and I haven't PM'd you, let me know and I'll double check!

We're up to £150 :-)

Caliphora Wed 19-Oct-11 14:18:20

Caz so chuffed to pieces for you - even if it took a while you came home with a beautiful Xander!

I'm absolutely out of it now, tired, nausea, contractions not regular but getting painful... I'm hoping tomorrow morning will be a quick induction and that my body is already so prepped for this that it will kick start immediately.

DP and I have spent the morning/noon prepping the house - he was a star and cleaned the bathroom, then I had a long warm Lush bath which was so relaxing... I wish I could do this as a home birth sad It would've been so nice to just chill into labour and go straight to bed after.

lktoday5 Wed 19-Oct-11 14:25:24

Rubbish alicat will do that now - I completely forgot. THat's shocking of me ... blush

caz cant tell you how pleased i am that you're all home and recovering, just fantastic grin

twojack fantastic news om the date - isnt it funny how family can suddenly turn into being the least helpful and supportive? Im having huge problems with DH's family (one for another time) but agree with cali - hiding seems like a top option wink

kelly and voodoo (and everyone else), I finally got let out at 9 ish last night after they'd been pretty thorough I must say. The first lot of monitoring she had a couple of decelerations and a very quiet episode but was ok after the 2nd lot. As ever, the staff were completely lovely and the doctor was the first one to talk sense in a long time. My emotional meltdown was the worst though - crying in the car is never good. I suppose I'm just completely worn down by going in and out of hospital, constantly seeing different people, feeling like im educating them on my body, no-one really taking charge, being in pain and not sleeping, not having any certainty now after being told i would have a c at 39 (now its just 'get on with it') etc etc. I think ive mentioned this before but i lost my mom in january and with DH away (and not even answering texts yesterday) i had a completely teenage 'i want my mom' wail. If i could have stomped my foot i would have done. I know self pity is very unattractive and so pulled myself together but it wont go down as the greatest day in history. However, picking myself up with some PMA I had a pain free night and my organic veg delivery came so im going to plot some nice and healthy things to cook this afternoon .....

Sending all those who are scared lots and lots of healing, calming vibes. Theres been lots of great advice already and I cant really add anything having never laboured at term before but I do know that if there are people prepared to go through it all again after the first time then it all has to be worth it in the end - right?

Heres to a collective better day and hopefully some news v soon of the next arrival

neverinamillionyears Wed 19-Oct-11 14:44:44

Awwww Caz I too got all goosy reading your post. I am so so happy for you all.

Lk - my god, how awful for you. Here's a pma <hug>.

Ali - I sent money to your acct from santander. Was that it?

Had mw appt today. Am booked in to see consultant on Halloween for scan as baby is transverse. Mw couldn't feel much at all as I think the little blighter was facing outwards too. Usually its facing in. So consultant and scan then.maybe a plan in place if baby doesn't go head down. Damn and blast!

SnoozleDoozle Wed 19-Oct-11 15:17:50

I'm glad things are looking more positive for us all today, I know I've certainly had a better day than yesterday!

Caz that sounds like a very difficult labour, stuff of nightmares, but as always, you sound very strong, and I hope things can only look up from here on in.

With all the discussion of fear of birth, I must admit that I am terrified this time round, much more so than I was with my first. I was so relaxed, even excited, about my first labour, I knew it would be painful, but I knew I would cope. Er....except I didn't, and I have always felt like I failed in some way because I couldn't do it. So now, I'm frightened of history repeating, but I'm also terrified of the idea of a c-section, or more specifically, frightened by the thought of an epidural. Funnily enough, when you are doolally in the middle of labour, the fact that someone is poking a hole in your spine with a massive needle matters not a jot, whereas the idea of going into a room fully aware for someone to do it is enough to make me run for the hills! Or waddle for the hills, more likely. But, like everyone else who has been through it and out the other side, I too think it was so worth it. My life has improved immeasurably in every possible way since becoming a mother, and my DD wasn't even planned, I was 30 years old before she was born and was never one of these women who always yearned to be a mother. I'm going with Pam's idea, to be honest, denial is where its at, and when it happens I'll be in the middle of it and it will be too late to worry about it. Thats the idea anyway.

There are too many names in my head to say what I want to say to everyone individually, but for all those having stress over birth plans/venues, I hope you get sorted out in the next couple of days and can start to relax again.

Truffkin Wed 19-Oct-11 15:52:00

Sorry for not being around recently and missing all of the early excitement on the thread (agree with someone earlier who wondered if we were on an October thread by mistake grin) but couldn't resist coming on to congratulate Caz and say how happy I am that you are all 3 of you home safe and sound.

One more week left at work after this one and then hopefully I can be around a lot more once I'm at home and have more time to spend catching up and chatting!

Flubba Wed 19-Oct-11 18:27:18

I'm not on your thread at all but have been stalking caz (unashamedly!) and wanted to wish her and her hubby many, many congratulations on the safe (if long!) arrival of Xander. A wonderful brother to Belle. So very pleased for you all smile smile

Caliphora Wed 19-Oct-11 19:34:26

Right folks, this is it!
Tomorrow at 8 in the morning (really, NHS, really? Am I the only one who thinks 8 am is torture?) I'll be induced, and hopefully everything will go to plan (ha!) and our little girl will be with us tomorrow/Friday.
Hospital bag all done and in the car, snacks and cameras packed, coming-home outfit all picked, cot ready in the hall way to be put up when Sprout is here.
I can't believe I'll get to meet her soon.

As you know I need to stay in hospital for observation for 24 hours, but I'm letting DP log on and post a brief update once she's here and he's got the mental capacity to do so.

I am bricking it already, trying PMA and positive visualisation of the three of us cuddled up in bed together, taking her home, having her first bath etc, etc.

So, girls, see you once it's all over! (I can't promise I won't update with a short "Jeez, induction is taking forever" post tomorrow...)

cookie9 Wed 19-Oct-11 19:56:35

Good luck Cali. Hopefully you will be holding your little girl soon.

Tjuice Wed 19-Oct-11 19:59:41

cali - too exciting!

lycka til og grattis på förhand!


SnoozleDoozle Wed 19-Oct-11 20:00:57

Cali all the best. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

cep Wed 19-Oct-11 20:11:49

caz so glad you're home, they do tend to lose some of their birth weight to start with but he'll soon be gaining again. Enjoy these precious moments.

lk oh hon, i think you're perfectly entitled to have a wobble whenever you feel the need. i'm afraid i can't remember if you'd told us about your mum before but i'm sorry for your loss.

cali good luck for tomorrow, you'll be fine. smile

TwoJackRussellsandabean Wed 19-Oct-11 20:37:01

Jeepers, good luck tomorrow Cali!!!

Glad to hear you are all home safe and sound Caz grin

LK, hope you feel better soon smile

alicat10 Wed 19-Oct-11 20:47:38

Cali best of luck will be thinking of you (fairly obsessively) all day until we hear sprout is out. I agree 8am is brutal, especially as you are almost guaranteed a hell of a lot of hanging around before they get on with it. For CS I have been told I have to get up at 6am in order to take some meds and 'have a thorough shower'!!

Snoozle I am so with you on the needle in the back - if I'm honest avoiding it was the main driver for all my natural / active birth efforts 1st time - like you I ended up with one when I was sufficiently out of it with DS so wasn't a major drama. The real surprise for me was that I coped with one for non emergency CS with DD. I deliberately did not think about it at all before hand but did mention to the anaesthetist that it was 100% the most terrifying thing for me so he arranged for one of his flunkies to keep me distracted nattering about pillow shortages & music choices & overall the planned (ish) CS was such a calm and civilised experience that I was able to cope (doesn't mean I am not absolutely bricking it again this time but after this post my head will be firmly back in the sand until the last moment)

LK you have been through a hell of a lot so are completely entitled to a) wobble a bit (or actually a hell of a lot) and b) be very assertive about the next steps for you - if you want an ELCSor a cut off date ask for one - I know plenty of mums who have. Our mental wellbeing is a crucial factor in all of this - there is no way I could have waited to my due date this time after my previous experiences

voodoomunkee Wed 19-Oct-11 21:10:15

Cali, best of luck for induction! So excited for you! I will also be checking as and when I can. Take a book! Or a ds or something! Can't believe Thursday is nearly here already for you. Big un Internet like hugs, you will be great and sprout will be here with you both soon.
Sigh all these babies! xx

Cali all the very best tomorrow. Try not to be worried, just focus on your positive images (best thing ever is watching a baby catch sight of xmas baubles and lights on the tree smile )

But seriously ladies, is this a Nov thread or what?? I have no intention of popping before November! grin
I am hoping to finish work (2 wks tomorrow at 38 weeks) and then have a couple of weeks to finish things off, clean house and have some treats. My best friend has already volunteered to go to the cinema in the daytime!
I feel guilty not spending 24/7 with DD once on mat leave but despite the recent tears at drop off, she is very settled at nursery and would be bored stiff at home with me. It's only 3 days a week and will give me and the baby bonding time.
Nursery have been fab. It's times like this we realise how good they are. They have been talking to DD about why she is upset at drop off and it seems she's processed the new baby implications more than we gave her credit for. I expected trouble when the baby arrives but it seems she has realised what it will mean already.

So, lots of reassurances by us and nursery and the promise of a present from the baby! Here's hoping.

Caz hope you're feeling OK but great news that you're home. At least you got as far as you could before the section - 10cm and pushing means your body knows what to do if you ever go for another one! wink

neverinamillionyears Wed 19-Oct-11 22:06:07

cali hope its not a really strung out day for you. We will all be thinking of you.

I'm def on the right thread.34+4

Katiebeau Wed 19-Oct-11 22:07:55

Cali the very best of luck for tomorrow.

TerrysNo2 Wed 19-Oct-11 22:24:51

Hope all goes well tomorrow cali - will be thinking of you!

caz so pleased you and Xander are home. Enjoy your lovely boy and post some pics when you can!

MrsA I'll join you in Nov please, I am enjoying the calm before the storm smile

kate393 Wed 19-Oct-11 23:03:45

CAZ great to hear youre home.....lots of lovely cuddles to be had now grin
Cali hope all goes well tomorrow....will be thinking of you!

pandia Wed 19-Oct-11 23:06:37

On phone as just moved house and no Internet yet. So just to say loads of luck for tomorrow Cali. How exciting. Can't wait to hear your news and will be thinking of you.

juststarting Wed 19-Oct-11 23:11:50

I'm tired out and must confess to a bit of scan reading here, but Caz, so happy for you. Well done. Not the easiest of births but now you're home together. And Cali, good good good luck tomorrow. I can totally imagine you must be er, pretty nervous, right now. This might be the worst bit emotionally though - once you get underway and stop hanging about it'll all change.
I too am definitely heading for Novemember. Late November at that.
My baby turned two today. Two. How has it happened? I love him.
I am sure I had stuff I wanted to say about the fear, but as I read half of this before my NCT class and half now, my mind has lost it.

TerrysNo2 Wed 19-Oct-11 23:47:49

OMG - is anyone else's baby moving so much it makes them jump with pain (not agonising pain but a definite ouch)? Also having lots of BH with lower back pain, def not labour but still painful.

Is it just me?

PamSco Thu 20-Oct-11 01:03:43

I've heard from Folic and have basic details. They are still in hospital, hence the indirect news.

So Folic had a little boy on Tuesday night born at 37+2 weeks so still in neo natal but he is an excellent weight of 7lb 2oz. He managed a breast feed today (wed) so all sounds positive. They are both shattered and a bit shocked - I don't have details other than it wasn't a chilled night!

Can't wait to hear from you Folic