Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for parents-to-be and new parents to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

(1001 Posts)

Shiny new thread, ladies smile

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 12:21:41

I've had pressure feeling on my cervix for the past two days - anyone else?!

Ugh. I am very upset. Some nasal slag from Equifax (a credit check company) has just called telling me that she cannot find me at any of the addresses I provided. Can we go through them again? 'What was your previous address?' 'Rehab' 'And the one before that?' 'A domestic violence refuge' '..and the one before that? Were you on the electoral register there?' 'I doubt it, I was living in a tent' (here she snorted. Yes..snorted) 'Do you have an address for that?' 'Are you taking the piss?' 'No' 'A field. next to a river. Lancashire. How's that?' (a snigger) Me: 'Are you laughing?' 'No, no, I've got a wee cough', 'Good, because I am not paying £75 admin charge for some pen-pushing cunt to laugh at my life circumstances.' I then hung up. I called Equifax and went fucking mortal at some supervisor who gave my arse a very thorough licking (think Lyra). I am not a thin-skinned woman, but that conversation has hit me hard. I don't know why. I don't expect anyone to fully understand what it is like to live even a short while as a homeless person but I don't expect anything less than respect when they learn of my past circumstances.

I am going to have to go out now to find someone to terrorise...

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 12:31:44

Hmm...sounds like something I need to ask the midwife about how it works in this area. I wouldn't like to be separated from DH so soon after having the baby, but that does seem to be how it's done.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 12:34:37

Ahh, X post. Sorry you had to put up with that twatty woman Pram. I lived in a tent once too for about 9 months! Although not under entirely the same circumstances...

IceNoSlice Wed 02-Oct-13 12:34:51

Today I am mostly angry angry angry angry angry angryangry angry angry

That is all.

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:35:00

pram go to Gregg's, be rude to the assistant and stuff your face with baked goods. You'll feel miles better then!

comms you can go home within 6 hours if everything was straightforward. Last time dd was born at 8am, I chose to stay for a rest (hah) and went to the ward at about 10, dh went home at 11, came back in the evening and then collected me the next morning. I don't know what I will do this time but I do quite enjoy some alone time with the baby after it's born.

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 12:35:50

Oh Pram, I'm sorry that such people exist and are allowed customer facing roles. Would a banana milkshake doughnut help?

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 12:48:39

Pram what a vile woman. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Go get yourself a Greggs love.

Ice why lovely? Or are you just feeling the rage? Hope you feel better soon either way!

Thanks to everyone for the hospital info. I don't feel that horrified at the thought of staying overnight without DP but then I've never been in that situation.

What a cow, Pram. Don't let her get you down. Anyone who matters knows you're an amazing woman.

Baking has consisted some very amateurish apple turnovers and a loaf of bread to go with the tomato and pepper soup I'm making for dinner.

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 12:58:54

I cannot stand rudeness of any form from those who are in customer facing roles. Sorry you had to deal with this pram, but at least you know your life is not so shit you have to be like that woman.

I like to shit up the rude women at supermarkets who barely acknowledge my existence and talk through me at the woman across tills by asking if I can just see their name badge or asking their name. Amazingly attentive afterwards.

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 13:07:13

So few people can offer good customer service these days it's quite shocking hmm Sorry you had to deal with a twat Pram

In other news, the tiredness has struck again. I have a shit load to do for work today, then interview prep for tomorrow but all I wanna do is go for a snooze. sad

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 13:08:15

What a total cunt. You should find out where she lives pram!
Carrot cake was a success, feeling full of cake and sleepy, although fancy baking something else now smile
ice I think pregnancy rage is the in thing at the moment hope you chill out and feel better soon!

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 13:30:46

Whinge alert:

Feel utterly utterly crap. Nausea, mouth tasting of death, and needing to fall asleep at my desk are the tips of the Iceberg. 2.5 hours at work and then 2hrs of teaching still to go. Not sure i can cope. All I want to do is curl up in bed... When does the 2nd trimester energy surge happen then?!

Oh Pram what an utter bitch. I cannot abide rudeness angry

Comms at the MW led unit here, if you and baby are ok you are discharged after 4 hours. I'm really hoping for that!

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 13:33:46

How do you guys know all this stuff about your local hospitals? Have you asked or just found out online? Because I can't find out anything useful about our local ones online.

I found out online Fox

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:50:04

Pram I love that almost all of the advice you just got was Greggs related grin grin grin What a twat though, I'd be asking for the £75 reimbursing as compensation for her being a moron!

Re hypno CD's I transferred mine onto my iPod so I could listen with headphones and DH didn't have to listen to it.

When I had DS they aimed for 6 hour turnaround but if you had to stay in or chose to, then partners couldn't stay past 8pm. Annoying in one way, but at the same time I wouldn't have wanted random people there through the night - at least if a baby woke up there wasn't then a conversation between 2 parents or anything to make sleep even less likely! It was bad enough getting up for a wee and worrying about bleeding everywhere during the day, I couldn't have dealt with it all the night too. Agree though that this for me is one of the reasons for wanting home birth this time!

I think I have become upset because it has hit me that this information - this history of my life - will become known to my child as s/he is growing up. What will they think of their mum having been a homeless alcoholic? A stripper? A prostitute? Never having achieved anything whatsoever with her life? It's hit me like a ton of bricks how shocking this stuff is to those who do not know me or love me. To an outsider I appear to be nothing but a complete loser. I don't want my daughter or son to see me in that way sadsad

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 14:00:35

Maybe that would be nice! I think it's 6 at the hospital here.

Becca you poor thing. Hopefully the next few hours go fast and you can get home to bed.

I've been so calm this whole pregnancy but today I'm having lots of 'omg there's going to be a baby here in 23ish weeks!!' moments. I think it's mainly because I'm shattered and feel like my head's being split in two.

Imeg Wed 02-Oct-13 14:09:55

I'm sure that your son or daughter will look at anything in your past through the context of your life now and will be proud of you for how hard you've worked to overcome your difficulties and build a stable life for your child. And they will be lucky to have a parent with so much life experience to advise them. You've got plenty of time to consider how to introduce the subject positively before they hear any comments from anyone else.

In terms of achievement, it is a great achievement to get through rehab successfully and stay clean afterwards, and to maintain a home after being homeless.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:21

Pramella Now listen here young lady. You are going to be a great mother. (The fact that you are already worried about what your baby will think of you is a good indicator of this.) Therefore, your child will love you. You are his mum, afterall. As a child, he won't be able to imagine a life before he existed anyway. As an adult, he will have had years to work out that there is more to you than the things you list.

And as for 'never having achieved anything' Your life's not over yet! And arguably, bringing a new life into the world is the best achievement there is. (That's what I'm telling myself anyway, because if not I've not achieved anything either!)

Imeg Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:32

My midwife seems very sensible about the baby's needs not being likely to affect the actual birth and so has put me down for the midwife unit. I'm a little concerned though that the baby will be whisked away once it arrives for lots of assessment, which I feel would not be urgently required and could wait a week or so - doubt they would be considering any surgery before then anyway. Will have to talk to her about it, and make sure there's something clear in the notes so that the staff on duty at the time don't overreact because it's a condition they haven't heard of. Clearly if there's anything that needs doing which will be better for the baby to be done straight away that's fine but if it's not urgent then I'd rather it waited for a bit.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 14:18:46

Kegals all!

Just been to the gp who was about 22 and totes clueless. I had horrible stabby crampy pains keep me awake last night and wanted some advice Also I thought it was time I came clean about my stress and antenatal depression get a couple days off work. Things came to a head yesterday at work after a particularly difficult discussion with colleagues over a case presentation. It left me feeling selfcritical and uncontrollable crying AGAIN (in my car). I've had enough and needed to speak to someone. Despite her uselessness she did refer me to antenatal clinic where met the nicest Dr and mw (*call the midwife* I salute your profession). Good news is heart puffins heart beat and she's fine. They r testing my urine and bloods. And just as importantly lovely obstetrician consultant listened and advised.

Tearful, ragey ladies this is common at this time!

However it's been throughout pregnancy for me and he agrees it's depression and suggested low dose amitriptyline . Prambo I know u came off sSri but any experience of this? They're gonna monitor me I'm gonna rest (have a carrot cake & a copy of closer ds at nursery ) and start anti depressants. I've also had to tellmy bboss but that is a total relief.

Rockchick1984 Wed 02-Oct-13 14:25:10

Pram please take this the right way but get out of the pity pool!!! Look at how much my DS loved you after meeting you for just an hour, you are going to be an awesome mum!!! ALL kids will be embarrassed by their parents - at least you have got a hell of a life story for them to hear about, and can offer first hand advice when they have problems growing up. Alternatively, you don't have to tell them if you don't want to; I went through a complete groupie phase (partying with rock bands backstage etc) that my DS will never know about however my mum slipped up a few years ago and I now know that my dad used to streak at concerts and football matches but you are defined by who you are not what you have done.

apprenticemamma Wed 02-Oct-13 14:30:18

Just wanted to add two more things.

Thanks for being a supportive bunch . I don't really know u but you have all been v kind when 've been whingeing and made me pmsl (literally!!) a lot lately too smile .

Secondly for Prambo . Ignore the officious bitch. Don't let this affect you. Sure you have a colourful past but you have also achieved so much between fishing and rehab and your ability to work in that school which takes a lot. You are very witty, incisive and honest, nurturing to others and strong. Your child won't care about your cv but it is these qualities that make you you. I have a chequered past too . I was a bit of wwild child/ slut when I was younger and I am deeplyashamed. I also shoplifted and took every drug out there. I dated an opium dealer then wasted my twenties with a stoner. I don't think any of this will be shared with my child EVER and he will judge me on my own merits. In the future who knows. Hugs.

This thread is not accepting new messages.