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Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

(1001 Posts)

Shiny new thread, ladies smile

I'd love to stay and chat (by myself grin) but I have cooking and baking to do. For some reason I always feel the urge to bake on Wednesdays. Something to do with GBBO perhaps?

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 10:02:49

Just had it out with him...got the auto "why are you looking at my messages?" To which I replied "why should there be an issue with me looking? We're supposed to be completely open with each other. " He swears it's all completely innocent and that most of the time he ignores her. He knows full well I'm not impressed though. So, the next few weeks will either be 'best behaviour' time or a rough patch...place your bets now!

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:39

Place marking!

Wilting in a very hot meeting room, doesn't help with the sickness.

Have put a link on the old thread I think <smug face>

Fasterkillpussycat Wed 02-Oct-13 10:07:55

Fingers crossed for best behaviour.

Good thread title - I need the reminder!

The fact is, Jolls, he knows it bothers you yet continues to have contact with her. Your feelings are more important than hers so he should cut contact without having to be issued with an ultimatum. Can you tell him this without sounding like you're laying down the law? Good luck.

greymoose Wed 02-Oct-13 10:24:57

Thanks for the new thread lyra!!

Sorry to hear he's being annoying joll, it's a toughie cause of your situation with your ex, id perhaps just explain that if he acts suspicious it's natural to think something's a bit off especially after he's been a bit silly recently and you're pregnant !

My ex lives in Australia thank god but still manages to wind dp up by having existed even though I haven't spoken to him since we broke up years ago now!

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 10:32:55

Jol OH still gets texts from his ex from 9 years ago. He has a password on his phone but if I've ever needed to use his phone I have a sneaky wee check (I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself)and he doesn't delete the whole thread just messages he doesn't want me to see so I know he's been texting her. He says he hates her and she ruined his life.. why the txts and secrecy? I've given him ultimatums and he always turns it on me and makes me feel like I'm being paraniod and insecure and I'm not sure if I am... AARGHHHH.

JustCallMeBaldrick Wed 02-Oct-13 10:32:58

Helloooo shiny new thread :-)

mimili Wed 02-Oct-13 10:35:46

KEGALS! Yes a constant reminder in the name of the thread - I like it.

Jolls Men eh? I think you are saying the right things if that provides an comfort. He needs to know that this is potentially a big problem. It is the hiding it that would bother me most.

I have my 16 midwife check up today, really hope I get to hear the heart beat. Very excited and anxious, and for those of you who asked (ages ago) I still don’t have my notes. I will be having words today, well DH will! In other news 2 days til holiday. So I imagine you ‘natterboxes’ will be on thread 15 or 16 by the time I get back!

Lol, Grey. I also hate my DP's exes for having the cheek to exist grin But I recognise that that's completely unreasonable and keep it in check.

I'm currently procrastinating instead of getting on with things hmm

In other news, I've ditched the new house plan because the money available wouldn't buy somewhere big enough. Our current plan is to buy a restaurant and run it ourselves, which is probably completely crazy given that there's a baby on the way. It also means we'll have to rent for a while as there won't be any money left to buy a house but that won't kill us. I've rented many times before and I can do it again.

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 10:37:55

Thanks ladies...I've decided what my standard line to him will be if this causes issues. Let's see what you all think <cough cough>:

If you've got nothing to hide STOP FUCKING HIDING IT!

Thoughts?

Fasterkillpussycat Wed 02-Oct-13 10:43:34

Oh good god, working from home today with cat sleeping next to me - no warning at all she just jumped out of her skin. Proper all four paws in the air, meowing and scrabbling around. Must have been a bad dream but I nearly had a bloody heart attack. She is back sleeping now, which is nice for her. I am still having palpitations.

Jolleigh - totally agree. If someone is not straight about something, I assume there is something to hide. Easier all round to be honest and open.

Here you are! Morning all!

What you baking Lyra?

Good luck today Mi!

MummyPig24 Wed 02-Oct-13 11:03:13

Thanks for the thread Lyra. What are you baking?

Joll hope you and your fella get things sorted.

I feel like I'm dying. It's only a bloody cold but I'm feeling dry sorry for myself! I've sorted out all the kids craft stuff though and tidied up that corner so I feel a bit better and less cluttered. Although as I was carrying the rubbish out to the bin the bag split so I had to scrabble about in the rain picking up broken crayons and scraps of paper.

FoxMulder Wed 02-Oct-13 11:13:03

Hi everybody!

I was 2 hours late to work to work today. I am utterly shit. And my boss doesn't even seem to care. Which only encourages me. I need telling off.

Something just occurred to me about these natal hypnotherapy CDs: I don't have a CD player.

Something else I was thinking about regarding going into hospital/MLU to give birth is that DH will have to go home afterwards and I will be left with a newborn to care for on my own overnight right after I've given birth! This is freaking me out. If ever I'm going to need him, it'll be then.

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:17:12

Joll perfect line smile. It's definitely the honesty that would bother me over anything.

Lyra what are you baking? And what kind of restaurant will you open? Exciting!

Mimi good luck today. I felt more emotional hearing the heartbeat than I did at my scans, it's lovely smile.

Faster my dog has dreams like that, freaky isn't it?! Nearly as bad as when he stares at the corner of the room and barks like there's someone there. Shudder.

karamcleod Wed 02-Oct-13 11:24:33

Lyra I'm also baking, which I haven't done in ages, probably be a total car crash seen as I don't believe in scales or measuring and I can't taste he cake mix. Why does being pregnant take the joy out of everything ?! Smells ok and I hope its nice, I've never made a carrot cake with homegrown carrots!
MI good luck at mw I cried when I heard our bubs' hb! It's amazing!
MummyP there's nothing worse! Bloody bin bags!

commsgirl Wed 02-Oct-13 11:26:36

Fox that's a really good point, I've not even thought about post-birth. Someone tell me what happens please!

x0gawjus0x Wed 02-Oct-13 11:28:09

Hiya ive had a headache since yesterday and paracetamol isnt getting rid of it I even feel dizzy and i was sick this morning first time in about 5 weeks could it be cos of the amoxicillin what should i do? Its not from constipation cos ive been at last!

Jolleigh Wed 02-Oct-13 11:31:04

It appears the other half intends to be on best behaviour. He's asked if we can reinstate a date night at weekends and is talking about spending all our spare cash this month on maternity clothes for me and baby things. Creep (unfair I know but I'm still seething).

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 11:34:11

Foxy Could you play it in your laptop?

Being left in a hospital overnight with a new baby and DP having to go home without us is one of the main reasons why I am having a home birth.

I'd rather be in my own bed with DP on hand to make bacon rolls and pour the champagne!

HotCrossPun Wed 02-Oct-13 11:37:50

Comms Most of the time you get kept in overnight, and Dad's are sent home. I don't know if it's different in England, but in Scotland you are put on a ward with about 6 other new mums. My friend had a baby a few months ago and had quite a traumatic birth. Her DP really didn't want to leave them and go home but he wasn't allowed on the ward so he went and slept in the Chapel!

I am really easily affected by other people's emotions. If I am on a ward with a mum who is upset or crying it will make me so depressed!

CalltheMadwife Wed 02-Oct-13 11:52:22

It will differ at other places but if you deliver on the obstetric unit then you are transferred to the postnatal ward where unfortunately there is no provision for partners to stay overnight, think 4 beds and cots in one room and barely enough room to walk around the bed. So if you have your baby after 9pm and before 9am then your partner cannot come on the ward, but you normally have a couple of hours after baby is born in the delivery room. On the MLU there is provision for partners to stay, however if they need the rooms for labouring mums then you get transferred, you also have the option wherever you deliver to have a 2-6 hour discharge depending on type of delivery and both yours and baby's health, if any observations or ongoing treatment is needed. Of course with this option of it is your first baby and you need support from us mws you will miss out on this.

Hope this helps for those who wanted to know, same as Hotcross said this is another reason why I'm staying at home smile

Beccadugs Wed 02-Oct-13 12:03:35

At my hospital you can pay (!!) for an amenity room that is en suite and has a double ed so DH can say. There are two like this and cost £120. I will definitely be hopin that this is free when I give birth as it seems ideal.

Good in ya Jols, and glad he is making a good effort.

Keep us informed on the baking ladies. I would love so cake but am stuck in the office all day... Boo!

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