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MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 8: Scans done, bumps showing, first flutters(1002 Posts)
Owl I don't think anyone objects to you talking about your personal experience.
I've just got a letter from the hospital saying they have booked me an appointment on nov 5th for the obstetrics clinic. It doesn't say what for though! The number on the top says only mon-fri so I can't phone to find out. I'm guessing its because of my bmi and I'm not going to be able to have the baby in the birth centre I wanted to. I feel like crying, it's my fault and I'm putting my baby at risk by being fat.
shiny new thread!
will get the link changed when the name is changed to thread 9 not 8, and will get MTB's spreadsheet link sorted. AHHHHHH!
owl 'It's like saying these women's birth experiences are not valid' not sure where you got that anyone was so much as implying that at all, but yep left here.
I'm filling up this thread!!!!
Today is Gregg's banana milkshake do/doughnut day!!!
Shall we leave this conversation on this thread? New thread coming, new topics!
Owl Like people have already said, in no way was anyone saying we don't want to hear about personal experiences, and I think everyone is very aware of the potential. Probably over aware in a lot if cases. I hope you feel you can stay, but if not I really do wish you the very best for your pregnancy and your baby x
Gawjus They didn't let you go?? Your work is a nightmare! There will be a lovely little heartbeat waiting for you on Wednesday
The north south pie sandwich divide
Hearing heartbeats at appointments/midwife appointments
I'm rather slow this morning (every morning)
Thanks rock that's how I feel about this thread, it's great to be able to chat on here about my pg in a normal way, I've been really enjoying it as I don't seem to know any pg people in RL, everyone is trying or already has children.
And it is very rare. Hundreds of babies are born perfectly uneventfully every single day, let's focus on that!
I'm sorry you felti was being condescending grey, I was not meaning to be. I was actually quite upset that this subject had come up at all and just couldn't not comment when someone first mentioned their work colleague's loss. But when I read comments saying people didn't want to talk about this I felt quite rejected tbh. It's like saying these women's birth experiences are not valid.
gaw sorry they're still being a pain, did you ever get the letter? Write all these incidents down, the midwife will have a record of appointments / if they're moved surely so just incase they do more just make a note of each time as you are entitled to time off for these appointments and from what you've said they aren't making it easy xx
Woken up with a thumping headache and cold. Think paracetamol is the limit? So hot lemon for me. Any other top tips? Does anyone know what vitamins I can take (i know A is a no- no)
I know but I really dont wanna risk loosing my job now so just doing what they say! Least ill be closer to my 20 wk
Gaw you're entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments, don't let them screw you around!
Had to move mw app to weds as work said i couldnt go the other day so ill be 17+2 instead grr really hope i get to hear the heartbeat x
Owlina as above, people don't object to you discussing your own personal experience. I can't begin to imagine how hard that was/is for you and of course you can't just hit a switch and turn it off.
Right, think we are in need of a shiny new thread. Any thoughts?
Owl I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one. I'm pretty sure the general consensus is that no one objects to people on here discussing their own experiences and we all know that late losses or post-birth tragedies can happen but I think we all need to understand that it is rare, once people start to discuss i knew someone from work or a friend of a friend etc it can start to feel like its much more common than it actually is. Please don't feel that you need to leave the thread. I know that for me, I'm on both here and the pregnancy after miscarriage thread as (particularly before 12 weeks) I needed to be able to talk about my experience a lot and was conscious (as you clearly have been) of not wanting to freak others out by talking too much about my experience. However, I also need this thread to treat this pregnancy just like any other, not constantly fretting about MMC. Whatever you decide I wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy and a beautiful baby
Owl, nobody was suggesting anyone shouldn't talk about their own personal experiences, just suggesting our exposure should be minimised by not talking about the late losses of people we don't know. I think that's what they meant, anyway. I personally have no strong feelings either way but others do/might.
No need for you to leave. And I'm sorry you've been through such a traumatic experience. I had no idea.
Sorry was trying to be gracious and bite my tongue but that was actually really condescending and just a bit all round. Perhaps I am being overly sensitive / hormonal / unreasonable to feel that way though.
Sorry owl but it seems that was the consensus - as everyone else has said, personal experience is another matter so it's not a case of not mentioning it. It wasn't aimed at you personally and I think unfortunately a lot of people on this thread are hyper aware that not every pregnancy has a happy outcome judging by the fact most seem to have had losses so it isn't really a case of burying heads in the sand. Sorry to hear you're leaving, good luck.
I appreciate people not wanting to talk about other people's baby losses, but this is something that happens sadly.
I will have to leave the thread if people are not happy about this as I can't promise never to mention it. Didn't think I did that much tbh.
Sadly not every pregnancy has a happy outcome. Maybe by discussing this and acknowledging it, it might become something people become actively aware of and help to campaign for improved research into, rather than 'oh no I don't want to think about that' attitude. Yes it's frightening, but talking about it won't make it more likely to happen to you, or make you feel any worse if it does.
Again teddybear SANDS site for help and advice.
moosey those threads drive me nuts too. Just take the feckin test and stop arsing about attention seeking on mumsnet. Grrrrr!
Jolls - I can only speak for what I'd do. I've been having a lot of career debates with myself recently. But I seem to be at odds with most of my friends returning from mat leave in that I'm more career focused and ambitious than before. But obv I am also thinking about DS, my new bean and how to be the best mother I can be for them.
If I were you I'd take some time this weekend to thrash it out, for me that would be going out for a meal (getting out if the house!) with DH and having a good long chat. But maybe you think better on a long walk or swim or lying in the bath or whatever.
If it were me- I think I'd be more likely to regret turning down an opportunity than doing it and it not being what I wanted. In some ways a secondment could be the best of both worlds- if it doesn't work for you you can return to your current team, if it does then there might be more opportunities. So I'd probably do it.
I'm extra grumpy / irritable today also.
Have to go to a wedding tomorrow where they have activities and there's loads of prancing about being quirky and annoying.
Also the hundreds of threads that are 'I can't be pregnant can I?' or 'am I pregnant?' but have decided not to do a pregnancy test.
Bit of a weird one Ice - first things first, the role is a 6 month secondment...the hiring manager doesn't realise I'm pregnant and that I'll be on mat leave before the secondment finishes. I don't see that part being a massive issue...I've been recommended because I can hit the ground running. They'd rather that than spend months training someone.
As it stands, it's just a 6 month role then I'd go back to my current team. Although my role lends itself to part time working (I do a lot of ad hoc work that can be dropped) I've been with my team for years but have had several different roles while with them...all unique roles so I'm the only one in the team who does it. When ever I've started a new role, I've always ended up doing many remnants of the last and it somehow knits into my new job description. So going back to that team may proove to be an uphill battle getting them to reduce what they throw my way.
Should the secondment get extended or offered as a permanent role, I don't yet know the scope for part time.
But taking the secondment would bump my current pay AND my first 3 months of maternity pay (my employer does 3 months full pay based on your salary 15 weeks before your due date) so that would obviously be useful.
It's also definitely a bump in the right direction and gets me great exposure.
But I know right now that it's a challenging role. And that may not be a good thing right now for me.
I've been a moody cow all day. I put it down to being woken an hour before my alarm by my lodgers tit of a bf nearly taking her bedroom door off the hinges when he opened it, then shouting out goodbye as he left the house!
At work annoying kids were winding me up all evening, and tonight I'm still grumpy. It goes away doesn't it?
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