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MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 7: Are you due next March? Do you have wrecking balls for breasts? Getting moist over iCandys? Then come and talk shyte with us..

(1000 Posts)
Rockchick1984 Thu 05-Sep-13 22:43:24

Thanks Pram - marking my place smile

BionicEar Thu 05-Sep-13 22:45:24

I cannot believe we are on Thread 7 already! shock grin

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 22:50:16

Ta Pram

commsgirl Thu 05-Sep-13 22:51:36

smile

I am sad to say I have removed many names from the stas list who are no longer with us. We now number 37. Is SaggyOldClothCat still with us?

*stats

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 22:59:06

Just 37? I thought we had more than 100!?

Jolls, the main thrust of Gina Ford's feeding/sleeping routine is this:

' Establishing a good bedtime routine and getting your baby to sleep well between 7-10pm is a major factor in how quickly he will sleep through the night. A baby who feeds well at 6pm, and settles to sleep well between 7pm and 10pm, will wake up refreshed and ready to take a full feed.'

It is this late feed that Gina insists is crucial to not having a baby that then wakes up at 1am, 3am, 5am and 7am wanting to be fed. This, in turn, all hinges on whether you have established a good feeding regime during the day and not allowed baby to nap to much during waking hours...

'Establishing a bedtime routine will only be possible if your baby is well fed and ready to sleep by 6.30-7pm. For example, if you allow your baby to sleep for lengthy periods in the late afternoon, he is unlikely to settle well at 7pm, even if he has fed well. The key to encouraging your baby to sleep well at night is very dependent on what happens during the day'.

And yes, this involves waking your baby for daytime feeds at the recommended times for his age.

Coolhand Thu 05-Sep-13 23:24:31

It didn't work for me. We established the good early sleep routine, DS got into really solid sleep and we would keep waking him for the late feed. He never once woke refreshed and ready for a full feed. He then went back down and woke constantly because we had unsettled him - instead of getting into his main sleep as promised.

After months of it not working and fighting with my mum, DH about waking him for late feed, we just decided to let him sleep on one night and ignore GF. He woke at 2, went back to sleep. The next night we left him again and he slept through.

A good routine around day sleeps is important for night time sleep although it's a while before that falls into place. Agree with her on that one.

Anyway - glad to hear good scan news today. Promised myself I'd be in bed by 10 tonight as exhausted. Thanks for the linky on slings etc F and T v useful. Already wanted the Boba 3G but gives me ideas on slings as well.

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 23:24:58

Hmm. The principles behind it seem sound from what you've posted Pram

Been reading some reviews and it seems a lot of people are affronted by the way she proposes them...more like a step by step guide than something you apply common sense to? I definitely get why the books can make a nervous first time mum feel as though she's failing.

Sounds worth a read to me though. I'm quite thick skinned so don't see myself getting too upset by a parenting book smile

I'm thick-skinned, Joll, which is why this woman and this schedule appeals to me. She doesn't deny that is can be tough, especially in the early days, but she's seen far too many women become slaves to demand feeding and not sleeping and having near nervous breakdowns.

This is the last time I'll quote this woman (unless I'm asked to, of course) but it this which appeals to me:

'By 3-4 months, most babies are capable of of sleeping 12 hours at night (with a sleepy feed at 10pm), provided their daytime sleep is no more than three to three and a half hours, divided between two or three naps a day. If you want your baby to sleep from 7-7.30pm to 7-7.30am, [yes please!] it is very important you structure these naps so that he has his longest nap at midday, with two shorter ones in the morning and late afternoon. While it may be more convenient to let your baby have a longer nap in the morning followed by a shorter nap in the afternoon, this can lead to problems as he gets older.'

Jolleigh Thu 05-Sep-13 23:41:21

I'll definitely have a read later in the pregnancy when I've got somewhere to put baby things and binge read without overwhelming OH too much smile

On the bright side...I'm officially getting the new pram I want now. Spoke to OH today and although he did spit his dummy out at first, he managed to rein himself in and acknowledge that this isn't about him getting his own way.

BionicEar Thu 05-Sep-13 23:44:57

To add my two pence worth... any baby guru who doles out advice and has never actually has any children makes me go a bit hmm. Maybe that's just me?!

I also found that friends who obsessively followed methods like GF then struggled to do anything outside of baby's routine and would get stressed far more easily that laid back people like myself who just got on with things. But again just my own personal opinion! smile

BionicEar Thu 05-Sep-13 23:49:19

Also don't want to freak out 1st timers, but it's hard to predict what your baby will be like regard sleeping.

My 1st was great (after a small hiccup) at sleeping, but my 2nd was a nightmare until about 1&1/2yrs and believe me we tried every trick in the book to get him into a good sleeping pattern.

I have another friend who had 3 great sleepers, but her 4th child was a total nightmare like mine at sleeping, even though she used the same methods that she used with her 3 great sleepers.

Personally think it's luck of the draw on whether you'll get a great sleeper or not. Thou am keeping everything crossed that this baby decide to follow DC1 in his/her sleep pattern! grin

Jolleigh Fri 06-Sep-13 00:00:37

I'd definitely agree there's bound to be an element of luck of the draw, but I do like going into situations armed yo the teeth with as much information as I can keep in my head. I generally then mentally discard anything that doesn't work for me smile

I've heard all the 'what does Gina Ford know when she's never had kids' arguments but the woman has cared for hundreds of babies and many, many women swear by her. Mothers who have never used her methods will always slag her off, but I'm simply not prepared to have a baby hanging off my tit 24/7 because it won't sleep.

BionicEar Fri 06-Sep-13 00:08:29

But it won't hang off you tits 24/7, as when asleep they tend to let go or you can detach! grin

Though now have image of baby dangling constantly from tits! grin oooh how painful would that be... and annoying too!

I posted my tuppence-worth on Gina Ford at the end of the other thread. I think it's worth reading her book and picking bits of advice but the harsh regime will not work for all babies. And I think some people are hmm about her not having children of her own because she hasn't experienced the emotional side of looking after a baby. It's easy to say "leave them to cry and self-soothe" but it's not do easy when it's your own baby that you adore. I never left my two two cry (unless they were just whingy, not proper crying) and they were happy easy-going babies who didn't have to be attached to me 24/7.

My advice? Take bits and pieces of advice from lots of sources, apply common sense and don't have any rigid ideas in mind till you know what kind of baby you're dealing with.

SoSurprised Fri 06-Sep-13 05:23:09

Hi everyone, new thread already! I am still struggling with work and feel a full blown breakdown is coming soon. Will c my GP on sat but dnt wat ty can offer, as taking time off seems like running away and ultimately I would have to go back. I m annoying everyone by being sad and crying all the time. Sorry for doing a whinge fest here too sad

faithfulandtruthful Fri 06-Sep-13 06:46:17

SoSuprised a break could be all you need to find a bit of head space. Look on the bright side its almost the weekend. Look after yourself.

On the subject of Gina Ford, I personally would only ever use her book for guidelines. I have never been able to work out how you manage to establish breast feeding whilst using her methods, I would be interested to hear of people who have.

I believe you must be careful what you say about Gina Ford as I understand mumsnet had a few problems regarding some heated discussions within the forum a few years back.

F&T

Beccadugs Fri 06-Sep-13 06:55:39

Marking place.

Very impressed that people are thinking about routines etc.

I had a little panic yesterday about the baby and how we will cope financially.

I also can fit into any of my clothes...

Hope you feel better soon sosurprised

Rockchick1984 Fri 06-Sep-13 07:04:29

Surprised what's been happening at work? Hope you're ok, we are all happy to listen to you whinging on here - we all do it!!

Re Gina Ford, pretty much all the mums I know (including myself) have tried it. 2 have successfully implemented it, although one is now on her second baby and this one refuses to be "Gina'd" so definitely think its down to the baby. Agree that its very life-limiting though, can't go to groups etc because they clash with nap times!

My DS is probably the least clingy out of the kids I know, despite me doing the attachment parenting stuff (there's evidence that this makes them less clingy) and he will happily spend an afternoon playing independently if I need him to, unlike many other 2 year olds who need constant entertaining! Yes he's been a bad sleeper, but he was a bad sleeper no matter what we tried. Think my fave parenting book was this one (yes she's Amy Farafowler from Big Bang theory).

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