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February 2014 - Part 5 - The one in which nobody has ANY vomiting, heartburn, or random leg injuries...

(1000 Posts)
marzipanned Tue 20-Aug-13 21:09:53

Well, here's hoping!

jazzcat28 Wed 04-Sep-13 20:36:21

bear I second champagne's advice. It's a) illegal for them to discriminate against you over antenatal appointments b) it's bullying. Call ACAS and ask their advice.

Just caught up on BBC midwives show. Forced DH to watch. By the end of it he was coo-ing over the babies and pausing to ask questions "so when it's our turn, do you want pain relief/water birth/CS?" Hurrah - the caveman finally seems interested in a conversation about the inevitable!

(I should point out he is very much looking forward to this bubba, but he isn't one to babble baby talk all the time. He will be beyond excited by Christmas but for now it's all about his redundancy process at work which is fair enough I guess)

Champagnebubble Wed 04-Sep-13 20:28:17

Oh and also to add the ACAS helpline may also be useful to give a call instead too if you'd rather do that instead, free and you can get impartial and confidential advice if you'd rather not share details. Just Google 'ACAS helpline'.

Champagnebubble Wed 04-Sep-13 20:24:58

Bear the comments the others have said are all right. It's bullying and you are entitled to as much time as you need for antenatal appointments, screw upsetting the 'apple cart', and your manager should be getting the team to hop back into their boxes if they moan. Sounds like your manager is part of the problem too though and sounds awful. I'd personally also get a fit note with amended duties ref the shift patterns, present that to your manager/occ health/facilities. Do you have HR? Quite frankly, you have grounds for a grievance there. If you really are struggling time off sick is also worth considering, either with or without a grievance. It sounds awful, I really feel for you. If you need a hand offline to go through options from an HR level please let me know, whether that means help drafting an email ref your rights or a grievance, I'd put a grievance in before resigning if you are thinking that way but you won't get maternity pay. <bug hugs> sorry if my rambling doesn't make huge sense, am exhausted!

Strange ideas in the workplace exist in all areas - even in HR I've received certain requests ref my pregnancy that breach UK employment law! hmm Hmmmmm! They should also know better! grin

laura0007 Wed 04-Sep-13 20:11:40

I'm with you there vix! In feb I'm going to give birth to a cake not a baby!

vix206 Wed 04-Sep-13 19:56:54

Shropshire, in my case mostly cake and biscuits gringrin

Shropshiremummy2B Wed 04-Sep-13 19:56:09

Ok so I found the little badger, it was right down in my nether regions. Which is all well and good, but if its down there what the frikkin hell is in this mammoth gut???!!!!!

Thanks, love you all x

Tinkerbellefairy Wed 04-Sep-13 19:55:26

Ooh good thanks missk I really hope so too. It was just that my deputy asked me today if I had any idea when I would leave and suggested I came back for a couple of weeks in jan but out of class so I still get paid over hols so this made me question it.

EeyoreIsh Wed 04-Sep-13 19:42:23

bear that's an awful situation for to to be in. They can't criticise you for having a mw appointment! It sounds really stressful.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 04-Sep-13 19:28:54

Bear - really sorry to hear about your work. Definitely see your doctor and get on to the hr department. That is bullying behaviour and it's not acceptable.

Being pg has brought back last time when my ops manager told me i'd 'compromised my position', he would 'rip up my application form if i applied for a promotion, among other things. I have a massive regret about not bringing a formal complaint but at the time i was heavily pg and just wanted to leave. I brought my maternity leave forward cos i couldn't stand to be there. It's horrible but I keep replaying things he said now...I wish i could just put it behind me and move on.

misskatamari Wed 04-Sep-13 19:23:43

I think we can just start maternity leave on the first day back in jan tinkerbelle. Hope so anyway - I don't wanna have to use up two weeks maternity pay over Christmas!

Tinkerbellefairy Wed 04-Sep-13 19:21:27

Ooh while we're talking about maternity leave, I too am a teacher due 4th feb. not sure when to start maternity leave. Thinking prob worth going at Xmas as would be likely to return jan anyway the following year so that I start beginning of term 3 so don't see much point in going back a couple of weeks in jan when will not give me extra time the other end with baby anyway. However confused about when maternity pay would start. Could my last teaching day be end dec but maternity start 1st day of school in jan so I get paid over Christmas or would I need to go back in jan to get Christmas pay?

Littleen Wed 04-Sep-13 19:18:11

can't wait to get my doppler <3

Bear your job situation sounds horrible - but would resigning not affect your maternity pay? I'd probably go for a sick note if I were you though, and then find a new job when you're ready to go back to work after little one is born. Hope you get it sorted, it sounds terrible x

misskatamari Wed 04-Sep-13 19:16:17

Definitely try lower down Shropshire, and make sure to use plenty of gel. Took me bloody ages to find mine and still struggle sometimes

Sassy20 Wed 04-Sep-13 19:11:40

Bear - sorry to hear about your work situation - sounds horrendous. I would have gone off sick long ago if they were being like that. They seem to be turning against you because you're pregnant and making you feel it's a problem for them - pretty sure that's not allowed! Don't dwell on it now you're home - think about your dcs and the baby. X

vix206 Wed 04-Sep-13 18:56:28

Shropshire up by your tummy button is far too high. Don't fret. Try right down by your pubic bone and mine always liked hanging out right over near my hip bones!!smile

laura0007 Wed 04-Sep-13 18:49:51

Shropshire try lower down! I'm 18+2 and the heartbeat is still around my knicker line!

Shropshiremummy2B Wed 04-Sep-13 18:44:03

Isainly = is mainly.

Shropshiremummy2B Wed 04-Sep-13 18:42:44

Cripes bear you poor monkey x

My biggest worry in life is that I finally caved to the pressure and bought an angel sounds doppler and I'm almost 19 weeks and can hear jack shit (no that's not the name of the baby if its a boy). Grrrrrr. Pressed it so hard to my tummy that I almost lost it in my tummy button. I'm not skinny by any stretch, which isainly why I put off buying one, but at half way there....... Come on'

I'm off to sulk. And fret. and check the dogs heartbeat

barebranches Wed 04-Sep-13 18:35:59

15 start today 15 next week but only 8 turned up! crazy. Quiet morning though!

misskatamari Wed 04-Sep-13 18:05:24

Glad to hear you slept well Eeyore. I think dizziness can be one of the many lovely side effects of pregnancy alas. Hope it's just a one off!

Bare that is crazy how many kids were missing! Lets hope they are in tomorrow. I had a boy in year 11 miss the first month of term last year - beggars belief!

Bear, your work situation sounds horrible. Sorry you're having to go through it and I hope the doctor can help. Have you thought about trying acupuncture to help you feel more balanced? I know it sounds a bit hippy but I swear by it and have it to help deal with anxiety and its been great in helping me to feel more human with all the pregnancy symptoms. Might be something to consider. Really hope you get something sorted soon and bloody ignore the bastards about your mw appointment - that is awful that they would even think to have a problem with it let alone have a go at you! x

LittlePandaBear Wed 04-Sep-13 17:58:14

Bear that sounds awful. How big is your company, do you have an HR department? If so you should speak to them, or anyone else senior that may be reasonable with you? You're entitled to your leave, to do shifts you originally agreed to only and to go to your midwife appointments, it doesn't sound like they're treating you fairly. No wonder your moods are changeable with all that to deal with, as well as being pregnant!

Hope someone comes along with some better advice soon, but as long as you stick to your guns and know you're in the right then they won't break you!

cake

Bearfrills Wed 04-Sep-13 17:40:36

Got my 16wk check at the MW tomorrow and after coming home in tears nearly every day for the last three weeks I'm going to be begging her for a fit note so I can get things changed at work. The issues with work aren't health related they're just down to me working for a bunch of shit heads but the way those issues are making feel is becoming a health issue. I don't feel right and I'm struggling to connect to anything or to maintain any sort of emotional stability. I know mood swings come with the territory but one minute I'm on a high, the next I'm locking myself in the loo so I can cry my eyes out in peace. DH thinks getting rid of work will eliminate the problem and wants me to resign but it's complex. I need work but I need the DCs too and time for myself and time with me friends and time with DH. I feel like I'm trying to do twenty different roles and not doing any of them particularly well. I got bollocked today about my leave (apparently I'm spacing it out too much), because I'm brushed past the managers empty chair ("that's my seat Bearfrills, sit somewhere else!"), because I can't do the twilight shifts they want to move me onto ("it's time you realised you have to do them, it's just tough"), because its somehow my fault that we're short staffed (seriously, me taking time off for a MW appointment tomorrow has "upset the whole Apple cart, none of the team are happy with you right now"), and a million and one other things. I don't want to be signed off sick but I do want them to realise that they're making me ill and that something needs to bend before I break sad

barebranches Wed 04-Sep-13 17:40:06

hope everyone had nice days today! All the staff at work got told today so i had kisses and congrats all day!

on a side note... only 8 out of 15 children turned up today... why would u miss your childs first day of school!! sad

EeyoreIsh Wed 04-Sep-13 17:06:59

I'm loving the bump pictures on fb, I'll put my up when I get home. mine might qualify as the most pathetic bump! I am starting to run out of work clothes to wear now though, I'm down to two loose shift dresses, I think next week I might just embrace the maternity dresses properly.

I felt really dizzy this morning for no good reason. For about four hours, I had drunk and eaten enough, was sitting by a window, so I can't work out why. It's fun, this pregnancy lark wink

off for a seaside walk when I get home grin grin grin I'm planning on doing a little walk everyday, I did one yesterday and I slept well, finally!

misskatamari Wed 04-Sep-13 16:36:59

Cool ill just get it booked for in the holidays then smile thanks

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