Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for parents-to-be and new parents to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

February 2014 (take 3)

(1000 Posts)
Champagnebubble Wed 17-Jul-13 17:17:14

New thread grin

Marzipanned it was because of all the negative birth stories you hear that I decided to do hypnobirthing - part of it is about positive thinking. Our practitioner did go through with us what to do when things don't go to plan (she herself had a c-sec)! My home birth was text book, but so few people talk about their bog-standard, drama free births and even on obem they dramatise the normal births.

Loves I thought I would give birth in the living room but ended up in my bed. We put a shower curtain under the sheets to protect the mattress and pads went down for the final stage. The MW's and my friend cleaned up and changed my bedding while I had a post birth shower (mw's even laid a path of towels from my bed to shower!)
2 midwives is the minimum - one for you and one for baby. I got lucky and had a student mw too and I was her first hb. BUT the second mw isn't always called until you are towards the end of labour (I guess when contractions are around 2 mins apart). When you call for them explain you labour fast and they should come together. My friend had this issue last 2 children!
I am 5 mins from hospital too and that is an important factor for me - fairly reassuring.
Without putting fear into anyone considering HB my mw set up resuscitation equipment in my spare bedroom in case of any problems. And had an ambulance been required they would have been with me throughout, until AFTER handover at the hospital. This is the same protocol as a non-hospital mlu (although not sure if the mw would transfer with you there?)
The only downside to my home birth was it took them fecking ages to arrive with gas & air (well felt like ages to me!).

I didn't hire a birth pool as I knew I would have to nag dh to empty it and put it away post birth and that would annoy me blush

vix206 Tue 06-Aug-13 12:46:35

I was all set up for a home birth with DS, thankfully I couldn't have one as I had to be induced at 42+1 and I had a massive post partum haemorrhage which I wouldn't have survived at home confused

So hospital for me this time due to that. Trying not to worry about it!

laura0007 Tue 06-Aug-13 13:06:52

This is my first baby and I'm absolutely (excuse my language) shitting myself about giving birth. I know people do it all the time more than once so it can't be that bad but all I seem to hear about are stitches, piles and tearing. Doesn't sound like a pleasant experience to me sad

CubanoHabana Tue 06-Aug-13 13:27:08

I think I am being a bit naive but I have not even considered birth yet... And don't particularly want to, as I think I will freak myself out!

Just sat and worked out maternity pay - took over an hour to get my head around it! Upside, I have decided that I can finish a month before edd. Will have Christmas hols, then 2 weeks back - presumably not teaching, as someone else will come in and will just be doing handover and then back last day of summer term, just I time for summer hols. Think it's a bit more achievable than finishing 4 days before edd!

I am planning on seeing a doula privately for my antenatal classes - she did my bfp's and she said she was amazing... It's slightly cheaper than NCT and in small groups of 6. Also plan on doing NHS ones for the social part of it... I think!

marzipanned Tue 06-Aug-13 13:37:07

petty exactly! Everyone's so negative about it - I'm so excited about giving birth. I can't even imagine how much it's going to hurt, but there's a baby at the end of it!!

I do worry about unnecessary intervention at the hospital, but more than that, I'm not crazy about the thought of first hours with baby being in a noisy, busy ward. Your first birth sounds amazing petty - shower then back into clean bed for snuggles!

GAH so I have choice between MLU at hospital (haven't heard the best things about it, and only one birthing pool so unlikely to have water birth), home (30 mins to hospital) or MLU in the middle of the countryside (1 hour to hospital).

Home is sounding increasingly pleasant!

LovesToBake Tue 06-Aug-13 13:46:18

marzipanned this has really got me thinking and to be honest, my overriding experience of giving birth to my DS in a hospital was lots of negatives. The actual birth bit was very quick, natural and in water as I'd hoped but there was so much about my whole hospital experience that I'd rather not have to ensure again. Off the top of my head and in no particular order:
1) arriving around 8pm (bad timing as shift change for midwives) to be chastised for not having phoned ahead - we HAD phoned ahead! Then being left in a room for ages unattended while clearly contracting strongly and frequently as nobody seemed to believe my discomfort and thought I was making a big fuss (as apparently first births are never quick...) - We arrived at the hospital at 8pm. Got in the pool about 9:15pm. DS born at 9:50pm.
2) DH being sent home around midnight when I was moved onto a ward where I spent a sleepless night gazing at my gorgeous baby but not enjoying the clinical envionment one bit.
3) Assuming we'd be discharged the next morning but instead having to wait around all day for the paediatrician to do her check.
4) Nasty mean paediatrician being concerned about blood sugar levels in DS and telling me we needed to 'get some formula into him'. Result: me in floods of tears feeling like I'd already let DS down and instead begging for breastfeeding help from the midwives and refusing the formula suggestion. He is now a chunky 18mo who was EBF until 10.5mo.
5) Hospital food. Boak.
So I think I've convinced myself!

laura ignore the gore! I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but if you look at the statistics most women have absolutely fine, trouble free labours and births, maybe a bit of intervention here and there but overall fine. Its just anecdotally you only really hear of the problems.... Maybe there should be more threads on the childhood boards "I gave birth and nothing happened" grin

vix206 Tue 06-Aug-13 14:04:38

I didn't enjoy being in hospital, and would avoid it if I could but sadly can't ignore the gore as it is a very real danger for me hmm at least this time I have a consultant looking after me so hopefully won't get into danger again.

LovesToBake Tue 06-Aug-13 14:05:25

That's so true pettyprudence - you rarely hear much about the smooth running births, just the tricky ones. Oh, and for anyone worried about stitches, I was also super anxious about this and when it came to it, I had some tearing, the midwife gave me a local anaesthetic (felt tiny pricks at this point) and then I felt absolutely nothing as she beavered away with my legs akimbo stitching me up - we were chatting away at this point (clearly I was high on adrenaline!) So basically, put those worries to the very back of your mind if you can!

Malteaser1982 Tue 06-Aug-13 14:16:55

Thank you for the warm welcome [simle].

Re birth, although it's my second baby, it'll hopefully be my first 'birth' as the plan is for a VBAC. I only hope it's a straightforward birth so that my stay in hospital (we get no other option here) is as short as possible - last time I was in hospital for almost 3 weeks!

Shropshiremummy2b Tue 06-Aug-13 14:47:27

I'm bricking it too Laura. It's the fact that you can make plans, back up plans and back up back up plans but you don't necessarily get to do any of them.

My sister was so dreading labour she massaged her perineum religiously because she was scared of tearing. She requested a water birth then epidural as a back up. When it was time to give birth the birthing pool was full. Then she was told there was no one to give her an epidural. Then her massaging was as useful as a chocolate teapot because they had to cut her and use forceps. YOUCHY WA WAA!!!

But then someone told me the other day that because I have big feet childbirth will be easy. So I'm taking that as FACT. Unless she means because I've managed to find lady shoes for man feet anything compared to that it will be a doddle??!! Eeeek.

marzipanned Tue 06-Aug-13 14:47:28

LovesToBake those are exactly the kind of things I'm worried about.
Well done you for insisting on bf.

I'm definitely going to ask my mw about home birth at the 16 wk appointment. She's based out of one of the tiny countryside units rather than the hospital so will be interesting to see what she says.

Have been reading about it a bit on other threads and the general advice seems to be - (a) do it! (b) you can always plan for a home birth and end up in hospital, difficult to do it the way round..

LovesToBake Tue 06-Aug-13 14:59:07

marzipanned thanks - when I look back I'm so pleased that some sort of inner strength kicked in when I refused to let them pump formula into him unnecessarily. Looking back, I was left on my own with him all night and he was sleeping peacefully so to be honest I don't think I fed him. I was clueless - then I think he was quite sleepy for most of the next day so no wonder the blood sugar was low. What ever happened to the supposed endless checks and midwives offering help and encouragement to get breastfeeding established?

Oh, and the other thing I will recommend to everyone I meet who might be going to have a baby one day is - please insist that the midwife checks the baby for tongue tie. Nobody checked my DS and after weeks of agonising feeding and oversupply, and various bf support clinics, he finally got diagnosed with a 90% tie which we then finally got snipped at about 6 weeks old. If only it had been snipped at birth (which is the norm I believe) then we could have avoided all the agony and mastitis.

ChocoFrog Tue 06-Aug-13 14:59:49

Sadly I'm like vix and being under consultant care have no real choice but a hospital birth. My labour last time round was ok and quick, 4 hours from waters breaking to delivery. Unfortunately I then had a retained placenta which required surgery for removal. I have a 1 in 10 chance of it happening again. Despite that I was glad to have the midwife and consultant care on hand and they were absolutely brilliant. Just hoping it doesn't happen this time round as I was gutted to manage labour on gas and air, and then have to have an epidural for surgery. Despite it all the euphoria of having a baby pretty much wiped eveything else out. grin

I'm under consultant care because my DS was small when born, 6 and half lbs (although you wouldn't know it to look at the chunky monkey now!). Anyone else had experience of restricted fetal growth? He didn't stop growing, was just a bit slow towards the end. Hoping this one is a bit heftier, although not too much wink

13+6

Shropshiremummy2b Tue 06-Aug-13 15:16:29

Sorry to probe choco but in laymans terms does that mean you didn't give birth to the placenta so they had to go and look for it? X

ChocoFrog Tue 06-Aug-13 15:17:18

As we're nearly at the end of this thread I have started a new one here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1820850-February-2014-Part-4-Beginning-to-bloom-hopefully?watched=1

Sorry for the name but thought if I wished it maybe it would start to happen!

ChocoFrog Tue 06-Aug-13 15:22:37

Shropshire basically my placenta didn't want to deliver and the midwife pulled a bit too hard and snapped the cord so at that point there was no option but surgery. It may have eventually delivered naturally had this not occurred but the likehood is it was too well embedded to move. Apparantly well meshed placentas are linked to small babies but I didn't know that at the time.

I din't find it particularly traumatic as was high from giving birth but I've never felt more like one of those cows on vets shows than that day. Sorry for TMI but it's true what they say about leaving your dignity at the labour ward door!!

Malteaser1982 Tue 06-Aug-13 15:24:17

Chocofrog my DD weighed 5lb at birth at 37+3 weeks - she is still a tiny munchkin at almost 3 years - she weighs around 25lb although she is average height.

This time round I'm taking aspirin which is supposed to help. Having said that, baby measured 2 days behind. When I checked DD's notes, she also measured 2 days behind at 8 weeks - so it's likely to be happening again. With DD the consultant wanted to check whether there were problems with the placenta or whether I just produced 'mini minors' (consultant's words). At the end, it was a mixture of both. I'm just hoping the placenta holds on till the end so it's just the 'mini minor' factor this time.

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 15:45:18

I am really hoping we are starting to bloom choco grin Since midday I've been fighting being sick. I'm incapable of doing anything, everything exhausts me. Ughhhhhhhhh!

I am not thinking about giving birth yet, maybe naive, but I am conscious I'm a bit queasy about these things so I figure that there is no point freaking me out! Head in the sand maybe but I'm thinking one step at a time! I was actually surprised the midwife asked if I wanted a home birth at 8 weeks - in my area apparently they encourage home birth or natural water births in the midwife run unit..... I was actually really surprised!!!!!

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 15:47:32

Oh and according to scan yesterday I'm 13 weeks today. Surely I should start to bloom now....sad I'm going on holiday next week as well confused hoping respite arrives soon!

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:12:07

Just filling up this thread to avoid confusion!

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:12:14

Just filling up this thread to avoid confusion!

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:12:21

Just filling up this thread to avoid confusion!

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:12:29

Just filling up this thread to avoid confusion!

Champagnebubble Tue 06-Aug-13 16:12:36

Just filling up this thread to avoid confusion!

This thread is not accepting new messages.