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Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

(1000 Posts)
HazleNutt Tue 14-May-13 13:00:48

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Alexandra6 Wed 12-Jun-13 17:42:34

I know! Maybe I will just cross that bridge later on, MIL brought it up and knows how I feel and it's how my mum feels too. One step at a time I guess!

I'd have gone nucking futs if my DP had said that without discussing it with me Frog!

What a horrid idea, if anyone tries to hang around in the corridor while I'm in labour they will be told in no uncertain terms to bugger off but I'm very lucky that my PILs would never interfere that much and my DSS will be entirely disinterested.

HazleNutt Wed 12-Jun-13 18:33:59

We're not planning to tell anybody about the labour before the baby is here. Having everybody worrying and calling to show how concerned and excited they are would drive me nuts. So? So? What's happening? Is he here yet?? Why is it taking so long? Gaahh...

Cavort Wed 12-Jun-13 18:50:19

We are also planning on keeping shtum about labour until after baby arrives. However this could all go to shit as we have a dog which will need feeding/walking if it goes on for ages and the possibility that labour might start while DSD is with us so she will need collecting, but any bean-spilling will be on a strictly need-to-know basis.

Only DH will be in the delivery room and I don't understand why anyone would want to hang around in a corridor or waiting room for hours on end to only receive the same news they could have heard over the phone? I very very much doubt we will have this problem though as my Dad and PIL are laid back about it and I very much doubt my Mum will even care.

Quodlibet Wed 12-Jun-13 19:06:17

Frog sympathies on your MS - I found ice lollies - or even just iced water - made mine better.

In other news I think I have now moved into the 'looking a bit tubby but not pregnant' category. My stomach muscles feel like they are working really hard to keep it all in and when I relax them I've got a huge pot belly. Lovely!

It was my plan not to tell anyone about labour unless Mum needed to feed the dogs but if I do end up being induced it's going to be difficult to keep people in the dark as everyone knows they won't let me go over my due date.

I hired a TENS machine from the children's centre today so I'm hoping it might help me cope with my back pain. I'll report back and let you all know if it's any good.

The tubby phase is annoying Quod but it's probably not nearly as obvious to everyone else as you think.

MotherOfCleo Wed 12-Jun-13 20:22:15

quod I was feeling very very fat today but when I was talking to the assistant in boots <asking for help with my cystitis issue> she was visably shocked to learn I was 19 weeks pregnant. I was very lucky and didnt suffer with MS, I had a bit of nausea but that was usually because I was hungry. Hope you feel better soon.

MotherOfCleo Wed 12-Jun-13 20:26:25

Remembered I did have evil evil evil trapped wind a few times, god that hurts!!!! sad Had indegestion a couple of times too but it turned out I just couldnt do rich creamy sauces.

Ive had things to easy I have an awful feeling I will pay for it in some way later on confused

Alexandra6 Thu 13-Jun-13 07:37:20

Eek I'm meant to be going on holiday next wkend for two weeks but was debating whether it's safe to. Anyway one of the girls in my short cervix club (not a club I'm glad to be a member of!) has just gone to EPU as she felt pressure on her cervix and may need a stitch urgently today. She's 19 weeks and her cervix measurements were actually a bit longer than mine. Just a bit worried about the same thing happening to me in Spain, at the same time gutted a really looking forward to our paid for holiday, DH too. I do have cervix scans next week just before I go but apparently the situation can change really quickly. Argh, hate all this sad

Quodlibet Thu 13-Jun-13 09:34:29

Oh Alex it must be horrible. I think you should still go on hols - the likelihood of something happening is very very small (otherwise your consultants would be doing something, surely) and its going to be much much better for you to be away relaxing for two weeks than at home and stressed/annoyed about the situation. If the worst comes to the worst and you do think you need to be seen by a doctor, Spain's medical system is as good as the UK's, and you are only a few hours away from home.

I am really peed off today about how unfit I am! My commute at the moment includes a 1mile cycle, and I just cannot manage the hill at the end of my ride, I end up a puffing sweating mess at the station. I'm quite worried as if I don't get my fitness level up it's just going to get harder, isn't it? I don't want to be a big fat puffing heaving mess in 4 or 5 months time, but am struggling to see how I can redress the situation.

Cavort Thu 13-Jun-13 09:42:55

Oh no Alex, what a dilemma. sad Can you bring appointment forward so you have more time to get a pre-holiday stitch if needed? I'm sure everything will be fine and you will have a lovely holiday without any issues but I understand your anxiety.

DH leaned over to my bump this morning and said, 'Ok, you can come out now.' confused Apparently he 'needs' baby to arrive before the first week of July as that will be a bad week work-wise. I think it's fair to assume that because of sod's law, baby will not be coming before July.

Has anybody got even the slightest sniff of a sign yet? Absolutely nowt here apart from shooting pains in the cervix as baby presumably moves lower. I'm looking forward to one of us getting a show, losing their plug, waters breaking, etc. to start off the few weeks of lots of new arrivals. grin

Cavort Thu 13-Jun-13 09:47:44

Quod you are not unfit, it's these damn pg hormones! I have been getting breathless just by walking upstairs ever since getting BFP and I would say my fitness levels are usually quite good. The good news is it hasn't got any worse as pregnancy has progressed and I am only as breathless at the top of the stairs now at 38 weeks as I was at 6 weeks.

janey1234 Thu 13-Jun-13 10:01:33

Oh Alex completely understand you worrying, really do. I guess there are prob people with smaller measurements than you that don't need a stitch, and all is fine (or else the consultants would do one?) but realise it's not much reassurance. Agreed a holiday would do you the world of good and that it's not as if you're going to a country with awful healthcare. I guess just wait to see what your measurement is before the hol? When is your next scan?

Quod I agree with cavort - have been so out of breath since day one and is no worse now so don't fret however I'm such a lardy lump that my legs get tired these days

HazleNutt Thu 13-Jun-13 10:04:05

Nope no signs here, have been feeling the same for ages now, no change really. Except that baby is definitely lower and while I wasn't really able to eat much for a while when he was pressing on my stomach, I can (and do) now eat everything in sight. Luckily I mostly want fresh things and not crisps or anything, but still. We have a couple of parties planned for this weekend, so hopefully he'll wait a few more days, but Monday would be quite fine indeed..

janey1234 Thu 13-Jun-13 10:37:02

Oh and no signs here - although braxton hicks are becoming even more frequent (and a bit annoying - happens every single time I bend over plus a lot just out of the blue)....

BraveLilBear Thu 13-Jun-13 10:43:52

Crikey Alex what a dilemma - I think it would be well worthwhile getting some advice now from a consultant about what you should do re holiday - there may be an insurance issue with it being a pre-existing condition that you wouldn't want to gamble with (even if Spain's healthcare is good, they won't be able to fly you back if it came to that).

Is the issue re stitches to do with flying or to do with just being away? Could you possibly get trains/drive? (I know it'd be a ball-ache, but at least you could still get away if flying is an issue)...

Quod am impressed you're still on your bike - I really miss mine sad I can walk miles if I want to, but stairs kill me. I am officially a dalek.

I'm having more family fun and games - we're visiting my folks this weekend, and DP is coming down with me for the first time since Christmas. He's not entirely keen on this as he doesn't really like my mum, but he's sucking it up.

So far, we're staying with my dad and will spend time with him on Sudnay (lunch with my sis), and am meeting a preggo friend on Saturday daytime (who won't be with her fella, so DP will be a bt of a spare part). I also need to spend time with my mum, but due to some family emergency, her estranged sister and nephew are in the country until the end of the weekend, and are then flying back to Oz.

It would be nice to see my cousin (now 20-odd and looks like a decent lad on Facebook), but my aunt is hard work. My mum has also invited her other sister and niece (both hard work) to a BBQ at her house on Saturday. We have to go, but I'm dreading it. Her BBQs are notoriously stressy and over-catered and this will be worse than usual because there is a long running family feud between mum and sisters they are trying to paper over.

What's more, DP is going to freak. We have no choice not to go, and I'm not letting him back out again - my family already think he hates them (not entirely wide of the mark). So stressful trying to keep everyone happy - it's like being in the flipping UN!

Alex, I hope you still feel able to go on holiday and actually relax and enjoy yourself.

Seen the consultant this morning, the good news is that baby is finally head down - the very uncomfortable day I spent on Tuesday getting my insides battered into new and interesting shapes obviously did the trick. Head not engaged though unfortunately so the random pains and twinges are obviously because she's headbutting me, not because she's in any rush to move.

The other news is that consultant wasn't willing to be flexible or negotiate at all on ANY of my requests so we made a rash and controversial decision to be referred to a different hospital which is further away but has different equipment which will hopefully allow me to be in the water like I wanted AND be constantly monitored like the consultant is insisting on. I'm not sure about it all but it felt very much like it was that or 'do as I was told' and end up with none of the things I wanted. New hospital is 45 -60 minutes away but based on the idea that I'm more than likely going to be induced rather than dashing off to the hospital in labour I can't see this being a problem. Does anyone know what website you look on to find out the stats of how the maternity unit performs? Don't know ANYTHING about this new hospital so feel like I should maybe do a bit of research before I commit though consultant said she used to work there and she would be happy to give birth there so it can't be bad? It's not really how I was expecting the appointment to go but hopefully it will turn out to be a good solution.

BraveLilBear Thu 13-Jun-13 12:12:48

Wow Purple big call! Great that Babymonster is at least head down...

Try this for birth stats Birthchoice UK data

If you're in London, I think Janey knows a special London one with stats etc...

HazleNutt Thu 13-Jun-13 15:23:11

Dh just sent me a suggestion for a girl's name. That yes, yes, this one is a boy, but for the next one.. no pressure shock

I'll remind him of this soon, like when he is booking his vasectomy after 6 months of slep deprivation grin

Alexandra6 Thu 13-Jun-13 15:47:48

If I do need the stitch next week, def no flying after that so might as well wait for those appointments. What I'm worried about is having the appointments, them saying it hasn't shortened drastically and isn't open, then flying abroad and the situation changing rapidly while I'm in Spain. I'm going to try and print hospital details so at least we could get scans out there on the cervix if I start to feel pressure. I really wouldn't want surgery out there as it's a difficult procedure and I'd need to trust the surgeon, I guess I could try and get an urgent flight back. This poor girl who's in EPU today said her cervix situation changed rapidly, that's what's scaring me - she's getting the stitch now. So hard to know what to do, I'll see what the consultants say next week at both hospitals and then make a call on the day we're due to fly based on their opinions. Bloody hard to know what to do and how it's going to pan out, please send strong cervix thoughts my way, I'm hoping it's short but strong like a midget bodybuilder.

brave family politics sound like a nightmare!

purple glad baby monster is in a better position. Have to say, birth wise I'm feeling really flexible but I know you have what you'd really like in mind, so hope the other hospital is the solution. I might try and at least decide on the things I don't want, like a sweep (heard that's bad) but plenty of time to worry about that and weirdly can't wait to be at that stage!

Alexandra6 Thu 13-Jun-13 15:51:46

Ps hazle I'm jealous your DP is passionate about picking names! Mine keeps saying let's wait when I try and talk girl's names (managed to get him to help pick a boy's name) but he says it's too early (and I secretly think he finds it a bit boring!) He did say last night he can't wait to be a dad and had been so lovely about the bump, and was saying he'll take over on weekends, so he is massively looking forward to it - just not the naming part clearly!

Thanks for the link Bear, I'll have a look.

Hazle - wow, that's keen! Mine is the other way around and keeps going on about how he doesn't want any more even before this one is here!

Alex - fingers crossed for you with your cervix. I also struggled to get OH interested in talking about names, I just think some blokes are less interested in that sort of thing. On the plus side it means you're more likely to get your own way wink

Quodlibet Thu 13-Jun-13 21:45:55

OK so who wants to see a cool animation showing how all your organs get squashed as baby grows?

Here

Cavort Thu 13-Jun-13 22:50:58

That's a great animation Quod, it's amazing what the body does in order to grow a baby. I'm definitely feeling the effects of maximum squashedness at the moment. hmm

That's a big decision Purple but I think it's the right one. Birth is such a daunting prospect that I think it's important to feel you have some control through your choices. Great news that baby has turned and FX she stays there.

Aren't families shit sometimes Brave? I do often think life would be much easier without one.

I am impressed by your DH's enthusiasm Hazle. I wonder if he'd feel the same if he had to give over his body for 40 long weeks? I keep joking to DH that if we try for a second we're hiring a surrogate. grin

It's my friend's due date tomorrow and I fear I am going to turn into one of those annoying people who keep asking if she's had him yet? I'm trying my best not to but i'm so excited for her that I just can't seem to help myself. I keep trying to come up with cunning excuses to contact her just to ascertain if labour has started yet which I'm sure she sees straight through. blush

Alexandra6 Fri 14-Jun-13 09:35:02

Sorry for the gross question to start a Friday! Did anyone get any weird sensations of pressure down below? I've had this feeling since yesterday afternoon, the only way I can describe it is a bit like I've got a tampon in but it's falling out?! I found someone online who said it was like she wanted to push something out? Then of course I googled early signs of cervix failure and it says the only one is a heavy feeling like stuff is coming down or like there's a lump in the vagina. I would try and check blush how it feels in there but worried about poking around and causing infection or something. Really not sure whether to go to EPU so would be great to hear if anyone had a similar sensation!

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