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Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

(1000 Posts)
HazleNutt Tue 14-May-13 13:00:48

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Alexandra6 Tue 14-May-13 17:15:18

Crap I'm reading a BBC article which suggests that a stitch does bugger all and a short cervix basically has a 25% chance of late mc sad Wonder how accurate this is?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3770523.stm

BraveLilBear Tue 14-May-13 17:16:57

I think part of the no-smear thing Janey is because hormonal changes can make results come back abnormal even when they're not necessarily abnormal. Therefore, loads of women were having unnecessary treatment during pregnancy on an issue that would probably clear up anyway after birth.

Alex I'm admiring your gung-ho positive attitude to having your bits fiddled with by randoms! That sort of thing completely and totally wires me out. The thought of induction is positively terrifying to me for that reason. (I repeat - I'm a total wimp)

< Janey I'd find that embarrassing... but then I did spend 6 weeks pulling my pants down for my a-hole wound to be seen to, tho that was a lot less embarrassing as I could lie on my side with legs together>

Instead of getting private care, can you just see what the scan says instead? I think the measurements are fairly equivocal, with good evidence for each length - that should help you decide without having to shell out for a second opinion?

BraveLilBear Tue 14-May-13 17:37:07

X-post Alex - I'd say two things - first, that article is very very old, nearly 10 years (and the research was probably some time prior to that). If it was that ineffective, I doubt they'd bother.

Second, that article only references cervical cerclage - it doesn't mention other precautions like pelvic rest, regular checks etc.

Are there any charities out there that could help with this? There must be a lot of other women in your position - I'm sure someone must have some better research.

Please don't panic about this - many many women with cervical damage successfully carry their babies to term. You're in the system, so hopefully you'll be able to get the most appropriate care...

janey1234 Tue 14-May-13 17:51:21

Also - remember your second opinion doesn't have to be private and cost money. You're entitled to a second opinion on the nhs, and loads and loads of nhs consultants do private work too, so there may not be any need to spend money?

One other thing - in terms of carrying to term, remember that premature delivery is often absolutely fine nowadays. The midwife said to me (re preeclampsia) that if I delivered at 30 weeks baby would be fine but take a while to recover in hospital, but if it made 34 weeks in womb it could go home almost straight away....

janey1234 Tue 14-May-13 17:52:07

Ps fricking rain - roof leaking and bedroom flooded again! Purple - can you send your man round to fix it?! wink

Oh no Janey! Haven't been up to check ours yet but yes I'll send him round, feel free to keep him, he's pretty handy with DIY stuff if you can ever get him to do it but is otherwise a pretty useless lump. If you'll take his blasted dog too you can have him!

MotherOfCleo Tue 14-May-13 20:07:28

Hello ladies!

Sorry you're going through it alex. Glad you had a lively baby at your scan, so exciting!

I cant copy an paste on my damn phone but my EDD is 7th November grin

Oh an whoever said about poking in the eye with a shitty stick, can I just say 'do it, do it, do it' wink

HazleNutt Tue 14-May-13 20:38:05

Saw the maternity ward, not too shabby. Well, actually new and very nice. Mostly private rooms and they said that even if you have to share (with 1 other person) it's usually just for one day and then you get a single room. But they keep you in for 5 days, for a normal delivery - that was a bit of a surprise. I guess as a first timer, I will be happy to have someone helping with all the breastfeeding and other new things, but experienced mums must be bored to death.

5 days! shock oh my word! I'd go insane! I'm hoping for a 6 hour discharge (though I appreciate I may feel different when the time comes) then again, it's probably a much nicer hospital than we have here.

janey1234 Tue 14-May-13 21:59:23

Yes my friend has her third baby in geneva. Her first was at hospital in the uk, second an accidental home birth delivered by DH. Anyway she said it was actually more like a lovely hotel break - I think at one point they even took the baby away and delivered her and her DH a romantic meal to her private room! She bloody loved it smile

HazleNutt Wed 15-May-13 09:02:05

they claim that it's to check if baby is fine and gaining weight as he should. But still, 5 days? I could just bring the baby back for a check-up. Not a fan of hospitals, even nice ones.

Foodylicious Wed 15-May-13 09:13:56

hazle I would ask what they do when mothers want to take the baby home and they are both well? if you choose to have your baby in hospital it does not mean you have signed a contract to stay for 5 days!!! Also ask if you are staying for 5 days does that mean your dh gets to stay too! if you are both medically well thats maybe along time for you to be apart.
My friend had her baby in a fab unit where they all got to stay together when he had to go back in with jaundice, its york/thirsk area I think, too far away for me to consider sad

HazleNutt Wed 15-May-13 09:35:06

Will see when the time comes, maybe I'll be really grateful for the chance to have the assistance. I doubt they'd actually call the police if everything is fine and I wanted to leave.
How long will they generally allow you to stay in the hospital in UK, if there are no complications?

janey1234 Wed 15-May-13 09:40:13

Found out at NCT last night that if there are no complications they keep you in for 6 hours post birth. The midwife told me it was, in general, 48 hours for an elcs (although my friend was out in 24!).

I think my chum in Geneva loved it so much as it gave her a break from the two kids at home wink

janey1234 Wed 15-May-13 09:42:36

Oh, and alex tried to persuade me to respond to a plea she had from a journalist for women due to have a baby in July. Clearly I said no (and I think you were only joking right Alex?). However, THREE people at work today have already said I should have done it! I am enjoying looking at their bumps though and realising that, much as I feel huge, I'm just normally huge - and some women are bigger!

HazleNutt Wed 15-May-13 09:53:03

ok, 5 days is too long, but 6 hours is a bit on the short side.

wow pregnant women can certainly look different, some in that article have huge bumps!

HazleNutt Wed 15-May-13 10:01:33

and some of them are due more than a month later than I am. Just went to check my bump in the mirror - actually, I'm not that huge after all. grin

janey1234 Wed 15-May-13 10:04:07

I know! It's really cheered me up. I think it's hard to judge yourself, but I think bump wise I'm somewhere between number 1 & number 4. And they're both due after me grin

janey1234 Wed 15-May-13 10:04:40

ps please no-one judge me for posting a daily mail link btw. I hate the paper, really do. Was just sent that link and couldn't help but share it!

HazleNutt Wed 15-May-13 10:44:16

regarding bump sizes, was thinking about another colleague's comment: "From behind, I couldn't even tell you're pregnant!". Well, thanks, but can you ever? If the woman has put on a lot of weight, you can tell that she is fat and has a big arse, but are there pregnant women who look pregnant from behind?

Frogcatcher Wed 15-May-13 10:58:17

Wow those bumps are different. I think if its your second you tend to be bigger as your stomach has stretched once already. I'm about 2 weeks behind a woman at work (not that they know about me yet but she has told me & our boss already) so we are bound to be compared throughout our pregnancies including how we cope hmm=

BraveLilBear Wed 15-May-13 11:01:32

Janey you shall not be judged, and actually you shall be forgiven. I actually found that quite useful! The shape of mine is like number 2, but the size a bit bigger than number 4. Nice to compare as I have no scooby-doo how I look, just that I don't seem to be getting any bigger (not put any weight on for a couple of weeks either), but know that I must be as clothes are getting tighter and tighter.

Can't believe the Duchess is due 9 days ahead of me. It'll be just my luck that ours will come on the same day (though I strongly suspect that July 13 is a fake date and it'll be before that - a cancerian child would suit them well).

5 days is way too long to be kept in if everything's fine. I'm stressed about being kept in at all because I don't want to be separated from DP. Don't get me wrong, I might be knackered and want the rest - but I'd want him to be there. The only way we could guarantee this is by having a home birth, and he's vetoed that on various grounds inc mess and the fact that it's my first.

By the same token, 6 hours freaks me out as I've never been in charge of an actual live human being, let alone my very own one. Plus, being kept in for a couple of days means that my family can come and visit and not pester us as soon as we walk in the door - they live a long way away and there's no way we'll be allowing anyone to stay with us for some time.

BraveLilBear Wed 15-May-13 11:21:23

The only thing I can think of Hazle is the waddle - you can tell a pregnant waddle from behind, but I daresay you couldn't tell much else. I, though, have a fat arse. And thighs. But then so do most of the women pictured in the Mail, much to my comfort.

My friend very tactfully said that she thinks I'm having a girl because my shape's changed... which I later realised means I'm fat in places I never was before (and have boobs)!

Alexandra6 Wed 15-May-13 11:28:09

Of course I was joking janey what sane pregnant woman would want to be compared to superwoman hazle Kate Middleton! In the Daily Mail of all places! wink

HazleNutt Wed 15-May-13 11:31:57

ah you might be right Brave, I've been lucky and have not developed the the penguin-walk yet.

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