Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

June 2013 - thread 6 - will this thread see any early arrivals?

(1000 Posts)
AlohaMama Thu 18-Apr-13 05:44:57

Welcome back all June-ers, just realised we were about to run out of space on the old thread.

june2013 Thu 18-Apr-13 17:44:48

It's really difficult - despite thinking I'm open to intervention I've recently realised that I think I'd feel bad, if I did have an epidural - like a failure even. I know this is BAD thinking.... it's down to the teaching but also subtleties on programs like one born every minute where you hear the midwives saying, 'nooo you don't need an epidural, you're fine without it....' - they might be but it always sounds to me like epidural = bad.

This seems to be the first time I don't write an essay...!

learnermummy Thu 18-Apr-13 17:53:41

With my first I was quite open minded with my birth plan - along the lines of 'ideally i'd like this, but I'd be open to this, this and this'. So when we ended up with 'this, this and this' I perhaps felt that it had gone to plan if that makes any sense? The only thing i really didn't want was pethidine.
I was very glad of my epidural for my back to back labour and actually encountered no problems getting it - it was in place within about 10 minutes of asking. If you can manage without then recovery is much quicker, but if you need it you need it!

pinkbear82 Thu 18-Apr-13 18:53:08

I'm kinda going along the lines of I'll do what I can with Labour but if I need help/intervention then so be it. I guess there is only so much of it we can be in control of and we do our best during those times.

my mum had a horrid birth with me, and nothing went to plan for her. so I think an open mind for me is important. That and I can be a control freak - so if I don't stop that feeling now it'll only cause problems at the time!

the only thing I'm pretty sure I don't want is a water birth - for some reason, and I can not figure it out, it freaks me right out! No idea why.

As for classes, I'm doing the local
sure start 'parent craft'- now my background is working with kids, college, university etc all in childcare - DP has 3 children already so has had the experience. we are starting to wonder who the classes are aimed at. presumably people who have never seen a baby before, ever.

Sarah2506 Thu 18-Apr-13 19:50:01

I do love this forum. These discussions are so helpful to me. I'm sure people are more frank than they might be in RL and it's a really nice environment to post in. <end of love in>

I'm not sure if I am unusual but I honestly only signed up for NCT because I wanted to meet people. I really didn't expect to learn anything. Is that pretentious? It's a lot of money for friends. But having seen the friendships others have made and heard them say thank goodness for NCT friends many times I was really happy to pay my money. There is no community in London. I don't know my neighbours, this is just somewhere I live. Without this I would feel very isolated.

I was hoping that the content would be inoffensive, potentially useful though largely irrelevant given my planned section. Now I can ignore the barely concealed agenda, but I'm pretty clear on where I stand on things irrespective of whether its applicable to me or not. I think that if you were already a bit confused or feeling in anyway vulnerable at my class last night then you would have felt quite overwhelmed and pressured. And that's not fair. I do hope all the other couples went home talking about what they thought of everyone else like we did, and that they didn't go home feeling shit as they want to be in hospital or whatever their choice is. Because it is their choice, and that's really really important.

In other news I went to Boots to ask for the Lactulose that MrsBri swears by. I bought it alongside 5 packets of caramel bunnies. The look on the pharmacists face was one that suggested a little less of the latter might result in less need for the former.

AlohaMama Thu 18-Apr-13 20:05:38

grin at caramel bunnies. surely it's all part of a 'balanced' diet? my fruit/veg drawer in the fridge currently full of lindt bunnies that were reduced after Easter blush. it's the only decent chocolate you can get here, as it's imported from Germany and not made in the US.

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 20:12:23

Heads up that Homebase has 15% off everything this weekend including paint for those of us who haven't quite got round to babies room yet! We've gone for a very pale yellow with some cute bunny stickers and cream blackout curtains.

The room baby is going into is the biggest bedroom and has a double bed in it as I'll sleep in there for first six months. DH won a tub chair today on eBay so I'm going to buy a cream cover for that and if time make a cushion or three.

Is anyone else finding maternity jeans uncomfy because of the seam between jean and bump stretchy material? I only just bought a second pair as they were so comfy but in the last week they're almost cutting me in half!

pinkapples Thu 18-Apr-13 20:15:22

I am feeling that too redwelly spending a lot of time in my pyjama bottoms at the moment

Steffanoid Thu 18-Apr-13 20:16:21

There's chocolate squirreled all over our house too, I'm classing the cherry Garcia ice cream as one of my 5, there's cherry flavour in there somewhere :/
I've never really had friends irl, it tends to be me and my OH, I have acquaintances and things but not people I'd class as friends, so I don't hold out loads of hope, think I need to go make dinner

Mawgatron Thu 18-Apr-13 20:21:33

The whole friends thing is the best thing I have heard about nct, which is why we decided not to do it - I am currently one of five friends that are preggo (some old work colleagues and some from my friendship group). One is due the day after me, one due end of August, two due sept! Also got a really close mate with a 1 yr old so I feel like I have plenty of ladies with a lot of baby experience.

Got booked onto nhs classes though, they start in may.

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 20:55:26

Well I'm in touch with one of our NCT group, it was hard in the first six months when they were looking after their healthy babaies and worrying about naps and weaning and we were in and out of hospital. Other groups seem to have gelled better than ours. Plus when we all went back to work ir was rare everyone could meet.

AmIGoingMad Thu 18-Apr-13 21:22:15

Aloha it sounds like we had very similar first experiences- although my induction was due to high blood pressure and other pre eclampsia symptoms so happened just under a wk before due date. I'm also hoping this time around to find my peace a bit more! I posted in childbirth to find out the differences people found second time around as I didn't want to panic any first timers. It's a really reassuring read!

Sarah- I'm laughing to myself about the bunnies/lactulose battle!grin

DontmindifIdo Thu 18-Apr-13 21:46:09

Sarah, I signed up for NCT for same reasons, finding friends really! There were only 6 couples in our group, 2 have moved away from the area, but the other 3 mums I still see at least once a month, normally every other, and we do sometimes get the two who've moved away coming back for a catch up (and are facebook friends so still see photos of their little ones growing up!).

What I hadn't expected, is how much DH got out of it! By the time I'd got to the classes, I'd done alot of reading on line, various baby books etc, DH kept saying things like "it's your body so I'll support you" but didn't know things like if you have an epidural, you have to have a catheter etc. It really helped him to have a proper conversation with me, rather than just "what you want, I'll support you" he hadn't thought about these things. Plus the stuff like the various stages of labour wasn't something he'd paid much attention to before.

DontmindifIdo Thu 18-Apr-13 21:48:39

BTW - we went for NCT over NHS classes because they were on a weekend, whereas NHS were on a week day, I could get time off work to do the NHS ones, but realistically DH couldn't and I felt it was important he was in the conversations, it was only after we'd done them that I realised how important it would be to him.

AlohaMama Thu 18-Apr-13 21:59:32

Thanks for the other thread AmI. Had a quick read and feel better already. I think with this birth I'm worried about not being adequately prepared. First birth it's all you think about, read all the books, do the exercises, go to classes. Second time round, too busy looking after ds and getting on with life for any of that! I think I need to spend some time mentally preparing and re-reading notes, and things like that.

However I am slightly worried by some people's very quick second births, not having time to get to hospital and all that!

cyclecamper Thu 18-Apr-13 22:14:15

The NCT classes near us were on a Thursday evening and difficult to get to without a car and I couldn't afford them really, so I'm doing the NHS ones, starting next Thursday morning. I'm sad that they mean I won't be able to do my yoga class at the gym. I might see if I can rumble up enough money to do the ante natal yoga class on Wednesday evenings instead, because it has really helped with my back ache and general discomfort, but I don't want to start another 'normal' yoga class at this stage. I don't like going out in the evenings which is why I've only done one class so far - that and the cost: the ones at the leisure centre are included in my gym membership, but the ante natal ones are private.

My baby is moving a bit more at the moment, so I'm hoping it is going to sort itself out and stop being transverse at some point!

I've been washing all the newborn stuff and bedclothes that I've been given, which I am sure is why it pelted down then hailed today. Still, an extra rinse won't hurt it grin.

learnermummy Thu 18-Apr-13 22:39:01

It's even worse third time around Aloha - I have had no time to prepare for this birth! First time around did all the classes, read the books etc. second time did hypnobirthing classes, antenatal yoga. This time, nothing!
And a speedy second birth is why I want another homebirth this time!

grainmum Thu 18-Apr-13 23:11:47

well I had my 2nd Nct class tonight and pleased to say we don't have an overwhelming natural birth agenda. our tutor seems to be much more about exploring our ideas and concerns and developing coping strategies which works for me.

Just to share my constipation remedy - linseeds, sprinkled on whatever you like (from the baking aisle). I've had some on my cereal since early pregnancy and seems to make a difference without being unpalatable.

MrsBri Thu 18-Apr-13 23:55:23

Ooh, Maw, big discussion about Ed Miliband on This Week right now...hope you're not watching else you may get a re-run of your dream, ha ha!

On the subject of classes, we are doing a one day NHS one next month. I didn't even consider spending the money on NCT classes, even though I don't know anybody here. I'm sure I'll meet other mums at various things afterwards.

SunnyL Fri 19-Apr-13 06:54:07

I saw the weirdest thing ever last night. Baby was doing some serious irish jigging (i blame my mothers side of the family for that) when i watched my belly button go from innie to outie to innie to outie. FREAKY!!

MrsBri Fri 19-Apr-13 07:20:15

Mine does that, Sunny...looks like it is breathing :-/

Wow this thread has grown loads so quickly!!
I've really enjoyed nct. Can't say I've learnt a huge amount as I had done quite a bit of reading before hand but I keep learning lots of little things I had never even thought about previously. Great to meet other couple and share thoughts etc with them. Our teacher is great, she's had 4 children (one by cs) so she has a very balanced view. We never finish on time as always deep in conversation all evening!
Our nhs classes are at 35 weeks so I know I couldn't wait that long.

Withalittlesparkle Fri 19-Apr-13 09:18:28

Another one here who started classes last night.

I think I'm a little shell shocked, suddenly dawned on my that I have to actually get this baby out at some point!!!

Class was quite good, it was the NHS one (have 2 more NHS ones to do) but signed up for NCT as well, now sort of wishing I hadnt as it appears that the lady doing the NHS class is also and NCT trainer so the content is going to be very very similar!!! but I'm hoping I can make some friends out of both the classes which would be good.

The trainer said that she doesnt want to cover breast feeding as there is a seperate course for that, a drop in session during the day, so I might pop over to that in the next couple of weeks before I finish work.
And she talked about the mechanics of labour and what to do in early labour. I think next week we get a tour of the hospital which will be interesting!!

Olimoss Fri 19-Apr-13 11:38:52

CSection booked for 29 May, so not quite making June I'm afraid.....Baby still resolutely breech anyway, showing no signs of turning....

Blood pressure bit high today so they took bloods and am hanging about waiting for results.

It's so WEIRD having a date (assuming doesn't come before, obv).

redwellybluewelly Fri 19-Apr-13 12:08:02

Oli have they said what they would do or what you should do if you go into labour before the CS date? How many weeks will you be then?

It is weird having a date I agree - whats even weirder is not telling anyone that you know the date grin because right now I can just about focus on my and DH knowing!

Olimoss Fri 19-Apr-13 12:23:14

RedWelly - I'm to ring as soon as I think I might be in labour, if before that date (planned date only 5 days before my EDD) and I'll be given a CSection on a semi-emergency basis.

I have to say C&W hospital have had excellent midwives through the antenatal time. V nice and they remember you even though they must be mental busy....

And if you're having a natural delivery they offer you 1:1 midwife care from 4cm onwards which is nice.

This thread is not accepting new messages.