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June 2013 - thread 5

(995 Posts)
DontmindifIdo Thu 14-Mar-13 13:38:22

new thread! Jump on board!

Olimoss Fri 15-Mar-13 10:43:54

Ermagawd, the furniture delivery actually came early. Hours and hours early. I will not have to spend all day waiting for it.

This will be a great day! Or, it will at least until the boyfriend has to try assembling it all. That'll be less great. For him. Amusing for me....

redwellybluewelly Fri 15-Mar-13 12:51:36

It might be too late to create family traditions but there is an opportunity to create a whole load of new traditions and ditch the ones you don't like. For example at Christmas this last year we told all our family and friends that we would be home for the 4 main days and they were willing to come visit but that we would be staying home, we had a mini tree, we had lunch at a time which suited our toddler, we all had an afternoon nap together bliss and we genuinely had a stress free wonderful holiday.

We also have a loooooooong walk on Easter Sunday and then home to jacket spuds and stew. We have Sunday Roasts once a month, we have Saturday mornings to relax, we take it in turns with lie-ins, we have holidays which suit tiny children and recognise that life has shifted focus.

Re the maternity care we have to reuse our peepot as well. I flatly refuse.

Any other 2nd or 3rd timers having wobbles about how their PFB will adapt to a 'new' sibling? Starting to keep me awake at night! I am so attached to my toddler and she has been an amazing amount of fun the past week or two that I am sad already my 1-2-1 time with her will be reduced. She is also growing up so fast and needs yet more new PJs. How do children go through PJs so fast?!?!?!

redwellybluewelly Fri 15-Mar-13 12:52:10

And Olimoss - trust me - go out for the day when your BF assembles the furniture.

I did. Then I came home and had to fix it as he was so stressed!

SunnyL Fri 15-Mar-13 12:56:45

Just had my 28 week appointment. Always amusing to see them struggling to get blood out of me. Had to resort to a butterfly needle and even then she gave up on the last tube and poured it between them. The midwife let slip there might be another pregnant mum on my street. I knew there was 3 of us in a street of 10. Now we're trying to guess who the fourth is. Clearly something in the water!

MadameJ Fri 15-Mar-13 13:21:09

Redwelly I have being having massive attacks of guilt in regards to DD, she is 2 and my whole world, we spend every minute together and I do worry how she will manage when we have another little person on the scene!!
DD seems excited at the moment but it doesn't stop we worrying.

pinkbear82 Fri 15-Mar-13 13:26:35

Redwelly I love the fact you do things that work best for you an your family - too many try and please everyone else and it just shouldn't be. Good for you!

On the new sibling front, I can share what my friend did for her DD when new bubs was due. After spending 4 years one on one and doing everything together my friend really was worried how her dd would react. So before bubs arrived we had a 'big sister' afternoon. A few treats and games and just made her feel she had a really special role coming up. My friend, once bubs had arrived got her dd to help with appropriate things she could and her and her husband make sure they each have time with each individually. Their DD has adjusted really well - even to her big girl bedroom. And altho there are occasions she picks her little brother up and puts him in a different room because he wants to play with her or is being noisey she also loves him dearly and is now loving to help him walk around.

I'm sure others with more experience will share more helpful tips. The fact your all so close now I'm sure will stand you all in good stead.

redwellybluewelly Fri 15-Mar-13 14:22:45

Thak you pinkbear it was partly driven by my crappy family revoking the invitation to join them for Christmas but it was possibly the least stress and most fun we've all had in a while!

We're getting DD a doll she can meet when she comes to see me in hospital. DD has been in and out of hospital most of her 31 months so is ok but wary of being there. After DD meets DC2 and me than she can go home with daddy and her 'new' baby and hopefully I'll be home the next day. DD does adore babaies but is still a bit funny when I pick up her cousins.

Not achieving much at work today. Want to go shopping and buy DD some new PJs!

pinkbear82 Fri 15-Mar-13 14:49:05

Redwelly sometimes the best things come from the crapiest situations. It's making the best of them that counts. Which is exactly what it sounds like you've done.

Dd's baby sounds like a fab plan - is it one that can be changed and bits like you'll be doing with DC2? She can almost copy mummy then and be occupied.
I did read somewhere about a box of special toys that can be made up and used for when your feeding/busy with new sibling. Big sister is then allowed to get her special box out and play, while your occupied and then they are put away when the task your doing is finished. I guess it's distraction really, just with different toys to normal to keep interest for longer, hopefully!

Hope you get to get some pjs on the way home for Dd. If anything like my DP children we seem to end up with random bottoms and tops! His dd who is 6 came down the last weekend we had them in a 'nightdress' aged 2-3, it covered nothing and I still have no idea where she found it!

Olimoss Fri 15-Mar-13 14:54:49

Red - advice noted! I am actually arguably the handier one but being a bit incapacitated at moment means I need to let him at least attempt it!

learnermummy Fri 15-Mar-13 15:46:39

Oli, there was another thread recently on pee pots and someone commented that they used a cleaned out muller yoghurt pot to 'collect' and then decant into the ridiculously small sample bottle. Think they mentioned cutting a nick in the lip of said yoghurt pot to aid pouring smile. Have remembered I have a shewee somewhere that I bought for camping, but still not sure I could see properly to aim! Would definitely have to be done in the shower! Luckily I am blessed with a fresh pot each time!

pinkbear82 Fri 15-Mar-13 15:54:34

Re wee samples - I have a plastic glass thing with a really wide top - collect and decant. Saves any dribbles on fingers or anything else. It's a bright pink one, different to anything else we use to actually drink from blushand I keep it up on too of the bathroom cabinet with strict instructions that no ones to touch it ever!

Olimoss Fri 15-Mar-13 18:34:44

So many wee-wrangling approaches!

I use a little jug (it came with my iron) to wee into then pour into pot. It has a larger neck and much easier!

DontmindifIdo Fri 15-Mar-13 20:09:05

Oh I was told I could take home my pee pot today and put it in the bin instead. The amount they fucked up me having DS, they can stand me the cost of a fresh pot to piss in each time in this labour...

anyway, Redwelly - I'm getting nervous about DS and the new baby, I wanted DS in his new room back in October, but DH has faffed about so much we didn't get him in it until a few weeks ago. Except MIL this weekend (thanks!) started telling DS that the new baby was having his old room and his old bed, he's lost it 3 times, saying he doesn't want his new room, he wants his old room etc. I'm now not sure how he's going to cope. sad We were going to do the new gift for DS from the new baby idea, DH wants the new baby to get DS a bike.

I've been told that when I first see DS after having the baby in hospital that I shouldn't be holding/feeding the baby when he's brought in so I can give him a hug straight away, that we make the new baby a exciting thing and trying to keep his routine as close as possible to normal. I like the idea of a 'baby' for him.

redwellybluewelly Fri 15-Mar-13 20:19:48

Don'tmind - Jesus your MIL sounds like a right piece of work! Thats bloody evil that is!

We've still got a few months so he might still settle? If this bump is a second DD we'll keep her in the spare room with me until she is sleeping ok ish or max 18months, DD1 will have her room as it is and then we'll replaster, recarpet and totally decorate a room for them to share. DD1 will be about 4-5yrs by then and hopefully they can have bunk beds. If bump is a boy then one will have a small room and one will have a big room until we move!

I'm going into town at the weekend to borrow the 'new baby' books from the library. Nursery have started to prepare DD1 for what might happen but until I get that bloody ELCS date then we can't prepare her for what will happen on the day. I think she'll love a new 'baby' doll but so much of me wants to be the one to see her bring it home and show it the house. I also want to apologise to her current doll (very small) and her doll's baby (yes really) for there being a 'new doll' - they I burst into tears at the thought of DD1 feeling the same way!

Bloody hormones hmm

Jeez dontmind, your MIL isn't exactly tactful there, is she?! Hope your DS settles asap. Have you thought about your DS buying a little toy for the new baby? We did this with DD when DS was born, DH took her to buy him something (a rattle, it turned out) then when we showed her pics of him in NICU we made sure the rattle was in the pics. It seemed to really help. Obv you could just make sure the toy is in the cot with him when he visits!

I had a growth scan today, and as a result we are officially team BLUE! Now just got to think of some names - any traditional type names any of you want to offer? Am really struggling, and slightly gutted that I won't get to use my girl's name which would have been Meredith.

AmIGoingMad Fri 15-Mar-13 20:43:18

Redwelly I'm worried about DS too. By the time this little one arrives he'll be 2.5 and he's the first grandchild, nephew etc on both sides of the family so has had everyone's undivided attention since day one. One of my friends said though that she worried so much about how dc1 would feel that she now worries that dc2 didn't get all the attention she deserved in the first few months. I think that the present from new baby idea is a good one, as is the plan not to be holding dc2 when dc1 arrives in hospital for first meeting. Need to look for some good books on subject for DS too.

I can't quite believe it but I'm in bed now- am shattered so I'm off to sleep while DH and DS are still downstairs watching comic relief on a Friday evening. Also needed to lay down as all of a sudden putting weight on my left leg is causing massive discomfort in pelvis area. I'm hoping its just bubs laying in awkward position and that she'll move during the night- fingers crossed hey!

DontmindifIdo Fri 15-Mar-13 21:06:55

ah, in her defence, I don't think MIL had thought at all about it! There's 5.5 years between DH and BIL so DH had been out of the nursery and in his 'big boy room' for a while, not out of it and then it be given to a new sibling. I was annoyed but hopefully DS will settle again, but we had it tonight, he doesn't want to get grown up, he doesn't want to be a big boy, he doesn't want to get tall like daddy, he wants his old bed back. I told him that the baby wasn't going to have his old bed, the baby will have a cot that just happens to look like his old bed with the sides back on and the mattress raised back up hopefully as hte baby will be in the moses basket in our room to start with he'll have got used to the baby being here before the baby goes in the room...

I think getting DH to go take DS to get the baby a toy is a great idea! Thank you RueDe ! Great you now know what you're getting. Meredith is a gorgeous name - you'll just have to have another one... wink

AlohaMama Fri 15-Mar-13 23:49:08

Liking these ideas for older sibs. DS will be 2y2m when dd arrives. We have got him a doll and will get him gift from dd, hadn't thought about the other way round. I am hopeful he'll adapt as he's been in childcare since 3 mo at two places but each time it has been a mum looking after him along with her own kid, so he's had two week-time siblings. This time he'll be the older one though and obviously different as it's sharing his mummy not someone elses! Have decided not to stress about the bedroom, as likely as not we'll be moving to England, moving in with my parents when dd is 6 wks old, so that upheaval is going to be way beyond any changes in sleeping arrangements!!

Sunbeam18 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:04:04

I really feel for you all with other kids to settle in with the new baby - I'm worried enough about how my cat will react to not being mummy's baby anymore! Can't imagine how hard it must be with a child!
I seem to find Friday nights hardest at the moment - had no energy left at all last night after a week's work - sat crying in the bath at 9pm and barely had the energy to get out! A new day today!

Has anyone tried antenatal pilates, by the way? I've signed up for a class starting next week in the hope it helps with the pelvic discomfort.

MrsBri Sat 16-Mar-13 09:40:28

How do you feel today, Sunbeam? I'm always asleep on the sofa by about 9.30pm on a Friday, it has to be said.

Nobody warned me about all this crying...I feel very unstable. Seeing HR on Tuesday and need to try to hold it together.

Think I am going to try to leave on my planned date. Really don't want the utter bitches on my team to force me out with their laziness and attitude. Ultimately, me going is their loss and they will soon miss me due to how much work I do. And if they continue to ignore my attempts to train them, well, even funnier really, as they will just look extra shit once I've gone!

But if I go early, they will blame that, rather than looking like they've not been arsed to learn. And I want them to be exposed for the useless idiots they really are! Small things.

Sunbeam18 Sat 16-Mar-13 10:13:58

Feeling better today, thanks MrsBri! Still in bed with Red magazine and tea!
Did you get a reply to your email to HR, or is everything going to be addressed in the meeting next week?

MrsBri Sat 16-Mar-13 10:24:59

Good, glad you've perked up a bit :-)

Everything will be addressed in the meeting. And the HR manager is introducing me to the new HR lady too, which will be interesting. The firm has really improved in the last few months. If I'd been pregnant much before this I'd have just left, but the new regime is very supportive and approachable, thankfully.

But we shall see what the result of the meeting is and go from there.

curiousgeorgie Sat 16-Mar-13 16:20:43

Congrats Rue! If this baby had been a boy we were torn between Jasper, Harry, James and Sebastian if any of those help you smile

I'm a bit worried about DD with this new little sister.. She was obsessed with my nephew when he was born but now says 'that's my mummy!' and goes all hands on hips and madam-y when I hold him (it's actually very cute but I'm not sure I'm allowed to think that am I? Haha ;))

I've had a baby shopping morning! Bought so many lovely little clothes that we don't need from mamas and papas and next, some pink blankets, a bouncy chair and looked at furniture sets for the baby's room... I'm all happy, baby shopping is the best grin

Glad everyone seems better today!

AmIGoingMad Sat 16-Mar-13 16:25:39

Glad that you have a meeting to try to get things sorted out Mrsbri. It's rubbish that the others in your team are being so awful but sounds like revenge will be yours soon!

Sunbeam- glad you're feeling a bit better today! Friday evenings are always tough after a week in work. I was the same, on the verge of tears I was so tired from about 5pm! Gave in about 8.30 and went to bed.

On plus side- DS slept in his own room on his own last night for the first night in months! Neither if us ended up having to go on the futon thank goodness. It did take many renditions of the Thomas the Tank theme tune a various points in the night but at least from my own bed!

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