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March2013 New year, new trimester, old symptoms but the finishing post is in sight!

(945 Posts)
Oodsigma Fri 18-Jan-13 12:11:04

And confuddled has passed it!

So will this one be our last before we move to post natal?

And who is next?

Thanks sarah & jojo for the thread title. smile

sarahs999 Sat 19-Jan-13 22:07:14

Placemark! Waves

sundaesundae Sat 19-Jan-13 22:16:55

My philosophy re:students is as long as they are appropriately supervised and doing things appropriare to their level of training I am more than happy for them to be there and play an active part. I am not a MW, I am willing to allow the medics to do what they need when they need and just be calm and relaxed about it all. They are trained professionals and I doubt they do anything for fun, so will allow them to suggest and do what is necessary. I am not banning anything or writing a birthplan, if I did it would say "Have baby in safest way possible, go home when appropriate, want to try activish labour and BF".

leniwhite Sat 19-Jan-13 23:42:50

I'm betting 3 weeks early, 8lbs 3. I was early with lots of dark hair but only 6lbs 1, this is a boy and his knees feel chunky wink

I feel like as far as student MWs go, the fewer people in there the better really - I'm hoping to stay home as long as I'm allowed to and then keep things as calm as possible. I might be annoyed if anyone calls me 'darling' or 'love' too!

mandasand Sun 20-Jan-13 00:36:27

hey peeps!
thanks for the good luck with the twins!
I'm used to having students in during my visits to the high risk pregnancy clinic, and osteopathy come to think of it. My view is - how else can they broaden their practice and experience?

Rainbowbabyhope Sun 20-Jan-13 07:07:31

Leni - totally agree with the 'darling', 'love' or even worse 'sweetheart'! Totally patronising. If I called one of my clients that I would never see them again!

Agree in theory with students needing to broaden their practice but having witnessed and suffered from incompetence from supposedly experienced staff when DD1 was stillborn, this time I am putting the safety of me and my LO first. That includes recognising and specifying what I need to labour naturally and safely with minimal interference.

SoYo Sun 20-Jan-13 08:10:33

sundae we have exactly the same 'birthplan' then!

Em2010 Sun 20-Jan-13 08:56:00

Yes sundae! Good plan! I'd like that too!
Good luck for starting the new job backwards!

mandasand Sun 20-Jan-13 09:12:21

Ha, where I come from you get called 'love', 'my love' and 'sweetheart' all the time! It's just one of those things and especially from women in a care-giving environment I find it nice and reassuring, even at my grand old age of 38. I think I always will, just because of I've grown up with it. Each to their own, I guess! wink

But, seriously, even if it may feel patronising I very much doubt the intention of care-givers is to patronise those they are giving care to. It's not an easy job they've got and, I suspect, we are not always an easy bunch of individuals to provide care for, especially in extremis!

plonko Sun 20-Jan-13 09:40:43

Anyone else suddenly developed a ridiculous appetite? Despite constant heartburn I cannot stop eating. It's like being 8 weeks again, apart from the waddle.

Regarding students, I have no problem with them whatsoever. A student did all the paperwork at my booking appointment, she was really friendly and I found that everything was discussed in enough detail before moving on that I felt really comfortable. They've got to learn somehow, and I agree with JoJo - on a busy it could result in better care. You could always specify you don't want a student to come near you with a needle anyway?

The cloth bum war wages on in this house, so I'm taking unilateral action. I've found a deal I'm interested in so balls to it! Having recently received a sizeable tax rebate I'm bloody doing it - I'm ordering me some reusables!

My MIL has decided I'll deliver early. Definitely a boy, the 34 week scan showed all measurements between the average and large lines. My bet is 8lbs 2, 3 days late.

lannyshrops Sun 20-Jan-13 09:55:56

Good morning ladies.

I have come to the decision that I am going to drop out of this thread. Sorry for abandoning you all, especially the new joiners.

There have been a fair few things discussed over the last week or so, breast feeding, maternity leave, childcare and now to have or not to have students. I am a health care professional and am rather senior in my position. 14 years ago I had to learn. With out those opportunities, i would not have been able to qualify. The university and associated hospitals ensure that placement learning is facilitated, well managed and appropriate.

Everyone has the right to the labour and birth they want, however some of the misinformed views and personal stances relating to student learning have incensed me somewhat.

I enjoy a good discussion with many different view points, however there are some posters on here who, to me, come over as overly critical and at times incredibly aggressive in their particular stance. I have tried over the months to find understanding and empathy but I am afraid that now I am getting angry which is not helpful for me, my baby, or any of you.

Ultimately, for me, MN is about support, advice and the virtual meeting of others in the same position. I am afraid that I no longer gain what,
I feel,I need from our little group. Which I find sad and upsetting.

I do wish you all sincere luck with the rest of this journey and healthy and happy births and babies.

leniwhite Sun 20-Jan-13 09:58:04

In any other situation I'm always happy for students to be there - have had them many times, even for needles etc. maybe it's because my LO is IVF and my only likely baby, plus I'm high risk, that makes me want things as minimal as possible in terms of numbers of people there - if I could have just the one person fine but I doubt they're allowed to be unsupervised. I'll be on the ward with the doctors rather than MWs and connected to the flipping ECG the whole time so I'm determined to try and make it as chilled as possible confused

I found it really unpleasant having three people in the room when he was a little embryo being transferred back, and once I had a horrible staph infection in my bum (tmi!) cheek and it was so bad the nurse called in a whole group of people to gawp at me with my trousers down! I'll donate my body to science when I die so people can learn from me then wink

eigmum Sun 20-Jan-13 09:58:42

Well my little boy was born at 39 weeks and 8 pounds 2 even though I am pretty tiny and started with a bmi of 18. Yet again I seem to be getting very big at the end and can't stop eating either plonko ! So I know it's a girl, going to go for 38 weeks and 7 pounds exactly!

leniwhite Sun 20-Jan-13 10:01:01

Just to clarify - my comment about being called love or darling wasn't related to students in any way and at no point have I been aggressive in my views about my personal prefs to only have the most necessary people present. Just in case that was aimed at me.

theTramp Sun 20-Jan-13 10:54:43

Lanny - understand your feelings and no point in anyone getting stressed over conversation on MN. You will be missed I am sure.

Lenni - I think everyone has different views on many key topics. I fall in to the - if students can't participate they can't learn and then where will the next generation of health professionals be? - side of the fence. That said, having several people crowd around you when you are feeling ill and or vulnerable is never pleasant. But being pragmatic, hey if I have to suffer one stranger looking at parts of me I wouldn't wish to look at myself what's 3 more? I suspect once I do give birth the number of health professionals in the room will be the last thing on my mind. If I am capable of that much rational thought the - wahoo, labour is nowhere near as bad as I am expecting smile

I don't mind being called love or darling. My personal pet peeve is the way in which some people have started talking very slowly and deliberately to me. I am pregnant not brain dead. Gah.

Mrsb999 Sun 20-Jan-13 10:55:25

Hi all, don't think I've posted on this thread before.....I'm due on the 24th march with my first, getting excited now but annoyed with all the sarcastic comments!

I don't know about anyone else but I know loads of people who are pregnant at the minute....I hope the maternity wards aren't too busy in march, eeek!

leniwhite Sun 20-Jan-13 11:04:06

Wow Tramp - they really do that? Struggle to see the logic in that! I just prefer people to call me by my name I suppose, again personal choice because it reassures me I'm not just a statistic really.

I feel the same as I said, of course I've always allowed students to be part of my care, this is just personal choice, after all I'm already part of two research studies with LO having loads of extra tests done at my own expense for people to learn.

I don't think I said anything misinformed though? Twas just my own birth choice, I've had so much hospital treatment in the past few years where I've had no say in what happens, this is one time I'm making a choice for myself and it's purely about maintaining calm so I can hypnobirth grin

theshooglypeg Sun 20-Jan-13 11:19:29

I have just over 3 weeks to go till I finish work and very much looking forward to it! I'm trying to enjoy the challenge and banter of it, because I'm sure I'll miss it once I'm not there, but really I just want to stop. I've been lucky with a straightforward pregnancy so far but starting to get quite sore now and walking is getting harder.

On the plus side, baby has been breech on my last couple of midwife visits but I can feel something that I think is a foot in my ribcage so hopeful that it's turned round. Next midwife appt is 29th Jan so will find out then.

theTramp Sun 20-Jan-13 11:48:45

Leni - oh yes they most certainly do. Although not for long ;)

I think everyone is entitled to whatever birth they would like and I think Lanny was saying the same so I wouldn't take anything as being aimed at you. There are a lot of topics on which people have strong views and are expressing them. Some people are better at expressing them with an acceptance that everyone has a right to their own opinion than others are and that can be quite enraging when it is a topic on which you feel strongly, and indeed hurtful. At this stage in pregnancy's with hormones and emotions high it can be tough to filter. I am sure everyone on here understands that.

Snowing here in London although not terribly heavily. Pretty to see. I have a ton of work to do but am so content curled up on the sofa with a cat purring under my chin (think she is trying to be a parrot) and MrM upon whom I can rest my feet. I really just want to pop an old classic movie on and vegetate.

StormyBrid Sun 20-Jan-13 11:48:53

Morning, all.

Finally got round to unpacking and shelving most of my books yesterday. 754 of the buggers. Absolutely knackered and horribly achey back afterwards. How those of you with jobs are still managing them is beyond me!

I'm quite happy to have students around. Not just because they need the opportunity to learn, but also because I recall reading or hearing somewhere that the midwife will be talking to any students about what they're doing, so if I'm listening I'll get extra information without feeling like I'm interrupting when the midwife's busy. Besides, there'll be enough people peering at my bits anyway, one extra won't make much difference.

Also happy to be called "love". Well, not happy as such, but pretty well immune to it by now. Everyone does it round here. What's the alternative, anyway? Madam?

Plonko - go for it, buy the cloth! What sort are you going for? Having investigated further, I'm thinking bamboo are off the menu for me thanks to drying times - two hours in a tumble dryer, or three days hanging up. As we can't a suitable place for the tumble dryer and the man doesn't want to live in some sort of laundry dungeon, I'm thinking microfibre instead.

I have no idea about this baby's size or when she'll appear, so any bets I make would be total guesswork. I asked the man last night and he reckons March 3rd, and 6lbs 3 - bit on the small side, I said, but he did point out the 3rd is three days early. So long as she turns up between the 2nd and the 16th though, I'll be happy.

SoYo Sun 20-Jan-13 11:56:46

Right, I'm going to try and put a bit of perspective in this and try not to piss anyone off and get thrown out of what I think is a lovely thread to be part of in doing so!

I'm an obs and gynae registrar so when things go a bit tits up on labour ward I'm your girl so I'm very likely to have a bit of a biased view on all this jazz but I have to say being pregnant myself it all now feels very different!

The thing you learn most the more O&G you do is that everyone's pregnancy, birth and all the feelings surrounding this are totally different and there are very few black and whites but plenty of grey!

As someone that spent a lot of time as a student on LW I was very used to seeing people in all sorts of circumstances, some letting you do lots of practice on them with this amazingly generous attitude, some wanting you nowhere near and many in between and I don't think there's a right or wrong for any of that. Bringing your baby into the world is the most amazing thing and for me, even after a long time doing it, it's something that's a huge privilege to be part of, and you deserve to do it in an environment you feel safe and comfortable in, whether that's a room full of people or as few people as possible, everyone is different.

The only thing I would say to remember is that any Dr or MW who is suggesting something to you are never doing it for your own convenience, they really are trying to keep you and baba as safe as possible, but they should always be able to fully discuss the pros and cons of any decision and you should always be involved because we're not always right and it has to be a decision where the risks and benefits are comfortable for you! Unfortunately pregnancy and labour is the one situation in life you have very little control over and so however you can stay laid back and relaxed is always a positive.

I'm a massive control freak and so for me comfort is knowing I'm with medics/MWs I've worked with and know are awesome and being in quite a medical environment but that's because that's where I spend my days so it's like home to me! Bet they would have rather I had a home birth though because I'm sure I'll be a bloody nightmare! I have no problems with extra people being in the room/helping etc but I just want the most experienced person thats available delivering me. I know that's ridiculous and hypocritical but that's me!!! We all have our flaws!!!

Speaking of flaws I'm also a bugger for calling people 'my love' but that's mostly where I'm from rather than trying to patronise anyone and also because baby brain means I can read a name one minute and forget it the next! Nobody's perfect!

I really hope this thread isn't making anyone feel pressured, criticised or otherwise shitty because I know nobody wants that. Although we're all very different people and having very different pregnancies we all have something amazing and frankly terrifying in common and I for one am very grateful to have you ladies to keep me realising that I'm not turning into a nutcase and that you're all here too!

Right, back to the wallpapering, this pesky Bubba will have a nursery before they arrive if it kills me!!! maybe need to raid biscuit tin first

LaurenCaddy Sun 20-Jan-13 12:28:15

Goo afternoon all!

Well in a little shock that someone could take an issue so personally. I have been on this thread a while now and have never found anyone to be aggressive. Views have been swapped and new light put on things. I asked about Student Midwives, yes me, i asked because i'm a major needle phobic and would feel stressed and upset with pregnancy hormones raging through me if someone was to get it wrong or had to try again because they couldn't do it the first time. I understand they have to learn, and i don't put it past them one bit, but not needles on me. They are more than welcome to watch as long as its not a football team in my room. I'd like it to be intimate. That's nothing to do with me being prude, it's due to the fact i know i feel safe and secure in a quiet room with a few people, and i want to try and feel in control for as long as possible. That is me i'm afraid. And i'm not going to pretend that's not my view just incase i offended someone. We're all different. Whats the point in the being the same, surely there would be no need for this thread if we was experiencing the same stuff as exactly the same time with the same ideas. We're not robots. There said it.

In regards to sweetheart lovely ect, i am a terrible person and do tend to say these a lot. I do think after, oh dear did i sound patronising? :/ But i don't find it offensive when people talk to me with them. Whenever i go into hospital, i get the "baby talk" because i look young and usually are one of the younger ones there. That i find annoying. I'm a bit like: Listen Love, i make babies the same way all the women do in this ward. I know about man bits and lady parts, and i can handle it thanks. ¬¬ I'd like to be treated like the adult i am thank you.

Currently listening to Top 50 90's Ballads - The joys of a Sunday.

Just my tuppenceworth... when I was in labour, I'd have flashed my fanjo at ANYONE who asked. It's not a very dignified experience wink

StormyBrid Sun 20-Jan-13 12:46:25

Lauren - it's totally fine that you don't want students sticking needles in you, given you're phobic about it. I like to think of it as different levels of learning. Someone who's utterly blasé about needles and has lovely big easily-found veins would be level 1 - perfect for a student without much experience. Once the student's got the hang of that, they can graduate to level 2 - people like me, who don't particularly mind needles but have awkward veins that run away when someone says the word "needle". You'd be somewhere much higher up the scale, and only suitable practice for much more experienced students who've mastered the lower levels. And I can't help but think, if I were a totally inexperienced student, I wouldn't want to stick a needle in you either - if you're going to freak out about it it's just going to be traumatic for us both, and then I'd be scared to try on anyone else!

sundaesundae Sun 20-Jan-13 12:59:03

Having gone through the IV Cannulation course I can assure you that you have to do lots of practice on fake arms first and then be supervised and signed off a certain number of needle placements of different types before being allowed to do it alone and even then you'd be encouraged to only do ones that were simple until you had done an awful lot and then you would move on to putting massive venflons into chemo patients smile

Anyone else really struggling to eat? Managed a bowl of cereal and now feel sick, think the baby is kicking my stomach.

plonko Sun 20-Jan-13 13:35:33

Also amazed that people are managing to work. My concentration is shocking, but then I've found that I've become an amazing multitasker when it comes to nesting. We're not creating a nursery just yet as theres every chance well end up moving house by the summer, so we've decided to keep dp's man space unless we really need to move baby out of our room before then. Ive satisfied my nesting by cleaning like a demon and folding lots of tiny clothes.

Stormy I ordered some little lambs pockets, £68 for ten and should last until 20lbs. Excellent reviews and a really good deal on the cloth nappy shop. My plan is to use these in the daytime once the newborn fog has cleared a bit. If we get on with them I might try some bamboo ones for night time, or some one size fits all from either close (the dream dri 20 pack is incredibly cheap on amazon, keeping an eye on it!) or little lambs. LL get consistently good reviews, and there's just so many options. Do you think you'll wait til baby arrives to decide what to do?

Sundae I am struggling to eat a full meal but I'm constantly starving. I find cooking really hard at the moment, I'd rather just graze all day. If I eat too much at once I get nauseous, same if I don't eat the moment I feel hungry!

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