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Over 30 first time mums to be club.

(213 Posts)
photographerlady Sat 22-Dec-12 11:51:51

I do not know if all the pregnant women over 30 leave work and lock themselves away but I feel bit lost in groups (Facebook pregnancy groups are a nightmare) talking work, pregnancy, commuting, buying mistakes and going through the biggest change of my life with no one in a similar situation. So any 30+ first time mums to be out there?

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 19:07:54

Thanks Eggy. The sickness is definitely getting better now but I still get the odd bout.

Following my bladder stress, today I asked my Sister (currently 29 weeks) and my friend (28 weeks) who both said they are leaking on a daily basis shock and wish they'd started the Kegels much earlier. They are both going to birthing classes and the Midwife who runs the class told them that some leaking in the 3rd trimester is pretty much inevitable and that the benefit of the pelvic floor exercise is to stop it after the birth.

Mayanbob Wed 09-Jan-13 19:16:40

Gatsby - what a lovely message! and congratulations! how's motherhood??

rache and janey no leakage as yet.... though still early days, however am kegeling like mad now.

Missikat fabulous news on your scan! Bet it was great to finally tell people

When I mentioned to DH that there were others that had no real symptoms I was met with "no symptoms?!!! you're joking?" I suppose I did not consider my new spidey sense of smell and boob ache to be 'real' as I smell stuff and occasionally get tender boobs anyway. and I am more spotty... but it's all just more of what is often in existence anyway...

Still -Midwife phoned today and she's coming round next Thursday at 8pm? She states that virtually all their care is 'home care'. Is this normal??? I'm going to have to clean! She's also sending a scan card - so hopefully should hear about that soon. And she has asked me to think about whether I want nuchal transparency test or not. I have thought but not really thought about it before. So she's put me down so that I can opt out if I decide to later.

Despite the new wave of anxiety this brings, I am happy to have finally heard from midwife.

Lovely to get home from work and see the days goings on on here. X

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 19:23:14

May I have only seem my Midwife once so far (going again on Monday) but there has been no suggestion of her ever coming to my house! It would be really handy if she would though!

I was down to have a NT test at the scan but the Sonographer still asked if we wanted one, so no matter what you have in your notes I think you can still decide on the day.

andadietcoke Wed 09-Jan-13 19:26:37

Hello! Can I join too?

I'm 31, and this is my first pregnancy after a miscarriage in November. I'm still not very pregnant (somewhere between 5+2 and 4+5) and am constantly anxious. My last mc started at 5 weeks so I guess I'm just waiting.

Booking in appointment isn't until the 30th Jan, so that will be my next milestone if I get past this weekend.

Has anyone had an early scan?

BelissimaLol Wed 09-Jan-13 19:30:28

Rache!! Can you please clarify what are kegels?!!!
Should I be doing this???
I've had two nosebleeds in the last 2 weeks. Not much but I've never had this before. Is it pg related?
I've not been sick once. Almost wish I had, I'm eating so much!

andadietcoke Wed 09-Jan-13 19:31:50

Hello Blol [waves]

How are you?

I can't stop eating. I'm never full. This is very very bad as I'm already a fatty

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 19:33:06

Hi Anda and welcome. Really sorry to hear of your mc but congratulations on hitting the jackpot again so soon - great news! I had an early scan at 9+3 following some pain and bleeding (all was fine) but I assume you mean earlier then this?

andadietcoke Wed 09-Jan-13 19:35:37

Hi Rache thanks! I'm really worried I'll be the girl who gets pregnant easily but can't keep them. Need to be more positive!

I'm thinking of maybe 8/9 weeks, just for reassurance really. Although I know it's not the be all and end all, I think seeing a heartbeat might calm me down a little bit!

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 19:36:28

Hi Lol, they're just pelvic floor exercises. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise
I have no idea how many of them you're supposed to do but I try and do them daily while driving and when i'm weeing I stop the flow a few times. Doesn't bloody well seem to be working yet though.

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 19:39:15

Anda I think Janey had one for reassurance around then so she might be able to tell you more when she pops on.
I'm sure everything will be fine. I totally understand your natural concern but this pregnancy has as much chance as any and shouldn't be affected at all by previous bad luck smile

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 19:53:58

Anda I had a mc in September so yes, had early scans this time - I'm not in the UK though and over here they are happy to scan you pretty much as often as you want. Also got pregnant immediately after that and so far, fx, everything seems to be going fine.

EggyM Wed 09-Jan-13 20:03:59

anda I also miscarried my last pregnancy at 6 weeks so I know exactly how you're feeling - it's terrifying getting past that point but fingers crossed for you- I don't think I'll stop worrying til my 12 week scan.

rache thanks for the links to kegels - will have to start these- feels really strange though!

mayan my midwife came to my house for my booking in appointment - that's all they seem to do in my area too- seems a little strange though!

andadietcoke Wed 09-Jan-13 20:06:47

Thank you all. I really appreciate the moral support and hand holding. I'm going to be a nightmare at the weekend - need to keep busy and away from Google.

Pinkflipflop Wed 09-Jan-13 20:16:29

Just to say that I too had the dribbling! Only happened when I was being sick in the morning! Yuk! I'm 36 weeks tomorrow and I haven't had it for a while, it's nice to know that what we think are horrific side effects of pregnancy other people are going through too.

Before I got preg I was slightly worried about how I would cope with it tbh, but it's really not that bad! Hope the childbirth bit is the same!

Hi I'm another evictee with Hazel, lol, Rach et al can I join too or are we taking over your thread? (Don't wan't to get asked to leave again!) 30 and about 14/15 weeks pregnant.

olympicvibes Wed 09-Jan-13 21:15:01

Welcome Anda and congratulations x

Hazle - Crazy how times, opinions have changed in one generation!

Rach yes i have accepted that pissing yourself dribbling a little will and does happen! Was horrified but had rhinitis in first 4 months and sneezed violently non-stop for what felt like hours so...accepted that dribbling was gonna happen sometimes. And compared to nasty headaches I was just kind of oh I've wet myself again. Brilliant.'.Luckily only ever at home. Did I say I was 36? Spotty faced and smelling of wee.

Work has become seriously can't be arsed. Counting down to mat leave.

Has anyone further along got a really active baby too? My bumpfeels like a washi.g machine with a squirrell stuck inside. But ut's lovely.

Hope everyone well. Keep away from google doctors if you can or are worried x

olympicvibes Wed 09-Jan-13 21:17:47

Welcome Anda and congratulations x

Hazle - Crazy how times, opinions have changed in one generation!

Rach yes i have accepted that pissing yourself dribbling a little will and does happen! Was horrified but had rhinitis in first 4 months and sneezed violently non-stop for what felt like hours so...accepted that dribbling was gonna happen sometimes. And compared to nasty headaches I was just kind of oh I've wet myself again. Brilliant.'.Luckily only ever at home. Did I say I was 36? Spotty faced and smelling of wee.

Work has become seriously can't be arsed. Counting down to mat leave.

Has anyone further along got a really active baby too? My bump feels like a washing machine with a squirrell stuck inside. But it's lovely.

Hope everyone well. Keep away from google doctors if you can or are worried x

olympicvibes Wed 09-Jan-13 21:22:35

Look, I tried to correct Typos and ended up double posting! Really can't type on this phone.
Hey purplemonster get yourself in here. Who has been evicting everyone? From where? And what did you do?! Well done anyway.

HazleNutt Wed 09-Jan-13 21:34:16

well we all started on the same conception thread but us pregnant ones got a bit carried away with pram and nursery discussions blush
No really, we did. Of course the ones still ttc, many for a long time, don't want to hear us discussing maternity clothes. So we came over to this side for those talks.

Rache1S Wed 09-Jan-13 23:01:08

Did anyone watch One Born Every Minute tonight?

(ridiculously young) woman in labour: "I can't do it any more!"
Midwife: "You're going through transition, do you know what that is?"
Woman in labour: "No, what is it?"
Midwife: "It's the stage where women lose their minds."

shock shock shock

janey1234 Wed 09-Jan-13 23:59:12

Hey all.

Anda - I had a mmc before this pg too, found at 12 weeks, and like hazle all seems to be going well. So impossible as it feels, in all likelihood you're going to be fine. However, I spent over three weeks abroad at the end of last year, so paid for a reassurance scan before I went - and hearing the heartbeat was very reassuring indeed. However my EPU agreed to give me one for free due to my past miscarriage so it might be worth trying that? I just said I had no symptoms (true) and that I was worried sick (true) and they said I could go in the next day...

Rache - transition scares me... Don't really understand it!!

Right I'm off to bed. I went out tonight - shocker - and am tired. I can't believe that in 14 weeks I've gone from someone who was out boozing at least three times a week (and usually out until 1-4am on one of those nights) to someone who's tired after going out for dinner with friends!

Teapig Thu 10-Jan-13 08:03:32

Morning ladies, welcome to the newbies.

I haven't had any dribbling yet but am uping my game with the pelvic floor exercises now.

anda, try not to worry yourself. Easy to say I know but it won't help. I had an mmc at 11 weeks and this time around I was totally paranoid the same would happen again. I'm 26 weeks now and all looks good. Most women who mc go on to have a viable pg so the odds are in your favour.

Rache I didn't see OBEM, what the hell is transition? Sounds bloody terrible.

My NCT classes start next month, has anyone further along done NCT classes and if so how were they? I'm a bit worried they might be strongly advocating the gas and air route but I'm up for all the drugs I can get.

Rache1S Thu 10-Jan-13 09:45:30

Teapig I have never heard of transition before but the implication from OBEM was that it's when you reach a point of labour that you decide you can't possibly go on and start unreasonably protesting to the midwife that you're giving up and the baby will have to stay in there forever.
I anticipate I will reach this point by about the third contraction grin

Lalala not listening. I think you're slightly loopy to watch it, I'm in total denial and staying far far away from the nasty reality of birth! In my head its going to be fine and I'm not going to watch anything on tv that might disillusion me grin

janey1234 Thu 10-Jan-13 11:44:43

I first heard about transition when a friend of mine was telling me about her labour a few years ago. She's one of the most ladylike, polite, well-spoken people I know, but apparently started screaming at the consultant calling him the c word. Her lawyer husband kept apologising and saying she didn't mean it, at which point she was screaming that she bloody well did and called her husband the c word too...!

Apparently it the very end of the dilation stage of labour - I think getting from 7cm to 10cm or something like that. Contractions are thicker and faster and even more painful, and I think you're knackered and it's before the final surge of energy/hormones for pushing. On the plus side it's apparently only for a very short period of time usually though?! But I think it's where the despair/swearing/madness sets in.

Lovely, can't wait hmm

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