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Shagged Out Viroids 6th Thread! From Early Days to Ready To Pop - Proof that JSing really does work!

(1000 Posts)
WingDefence Thu 06-Dec-12 17:24:47

Hello and welcome to another shiny fred for Just Shagging graduates!

The last fred was nice and busy so fingers crossed we get lots more members grin

We've just moved over from the Shagged Out Viroids Volume 5 thread, where we finally found out that a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!
The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

Our stats thread is here, so if you find us, please add your stats too.

There is also a Just Mumming thread for grads of the grads thread confused grin

And if you want to find out what Just Shagging is about or catch up with the undergrads go say hello to the Just Shaggers here, now on the 12th thread thanks

WingDefence Mon 10-Dec-12 22:17:14

I don't remember DS being a big nappy-off wee-er actually. I had those little willy tent things but never really used them.

It's more the getting poo out of a girl's bits and holes that worries me. Boys' nappy changes I'd imagine are far quicker because you hold the willy and wipe all around and that's it. No double checking inside flaps and creases <boak>

Guinea my route to FF was slightly complicated but made up of the following non-inclusive list:
- DS born with v bad jaundice and was barely awake the first few days so lost 15% of birth weight due to not feeding
- DS went into hospital at 2 days old with jaundice. He was so sleepy/ill that he wasn't BFing well so I used their mad giant industrial pump but I remember never getting much milk out and so started topping up with aptimal
- back at home DS never seemed bothered about my boobs so it would take me a stupidly long time on each breast trying to feed him and then would top up
- it just didn't seem to work
- could never imagine a baby drinking from my boobs when pregnant (and having issues with that again now)
- DM and DH both not very supportive
- I had either very long and bad baby blues or else a shorter period of PND and the feeding situation wasn't helping

I kept mixed feeding until 7 or 8 weeks but he really wasn't drinking much and by then I decided myself to stop. Never looked back - I went back on the pill, felt like myself again (back to being ME), partially down to the control FFing gave me, and the hormones being regulated again. DS slept far better and is a highly intelligent boy who has barely been ill so I have never regretted it.

But I will try again this time round. I do suffer if I don't sleep well though so I may well try one FF mid-night a couple of weeks in for DH to help with a feed and I know he'd like that too.

Does it sound as if I've given up already?! confused

ICompletelyKnowAboutGuineaPigs Mon 10-Dec-12 22:37:45

Wow Wing that does sound like you had issues with BFing last time. I hope I didnt come across as challenging your right to FF, just interested in your 'path' to that decision (its actually one of the things I'm most interested in researching in my research career, if I ever have one).

Obviously there is talk about the benefits of BFing but very rarely about the risks associated with FFing so I'm interested in how women negotiate the choice and if their choices are 'informed' (and by that I only mean a balance of pros/cons of both possible options - not that you personally are not informed).

I do think FFing has become normalised in Western culture and one of the disadvantages of this is that there is less dialogue with parents about the possible side effects of formula, such that it is presented as a 'risk free' option when research suggests that this is not the case. I hope I'm not coming across as judgey. I FF DS for a number of reasons and had an equally long list, but I don't feel like I made a fully informed decision because nobody ever talked to me about FF and potential disadvantages.

tiredteddy Mon 10-Dec-12 22:44:18

Hi guinea I actually breastfed both my DS's very happily and easily for 6 months each. I am formula feeding this time as last year I had a double mastectomy due to being a carrier of the nasty BRCA1 breast cancer gene. All fine with decisions made now though it was a long journey. We always planned on another dc and did things this way round as it is unknown what effects pregnancy has with all the hormones on a brca1 carrier. So it's all new to me hence all my questions!

tiredteddy Mon 10-Dec-12 22:50:44

blush oops forgot to mention I had reconstructions and sport a very perky pair of DD's the gravity shall never alter wink and I am looking forward to DH doing a few of the night feeds too!

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 07:59:49

Ooh tired has had a boob job! grin

Guinea, I didn't think you were challenging me and in fact, I'm surprised my list came out quite so depressing!

MrsBri Tue 11-Dec-12 11:02:49

Morning all :-)

Had my scan today. Measuring 12+5 at 12+2, so a long little wriggler!

So relieved. I've been a bit worried, hence being quiet. Feel better now though.

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 11:31:12

Hurrah MrsBri!

That's great news smile So have they given you a new EDD and pushed it back 3 days?

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 11:35:50

Oh and Guinea I forgot to add to my list that I didn't have any skin-to-skin time after he was born: I was in shock as it was a relatively fast labour so just laid there puffing gas n air, DS's head was extremely misshapen due to stupid MW him getting stuck in my birth canal and me taking ages to get him out, so his head was like this and so he was wrapped up from the top of his pointy head to his toes and given to DH.

Now I think about it, I should have more residual issues about the birth and aftermath than I seem to in reality... hmm

What good news mrsbri and glad you are feeling better.

I think I have just hit total panic meltdown stage (thanks a bunch pg hormones angry. Basically, I have been a single mum to my DCs as exH was emotionally absent and/or having affairs/chasing me round the house trying to kill me the whole time I was pg with them, and physically left when my youngest was 4 months old. I simply cannot get my head around the fact that I am going to have to share the parenting with DH, even though one of the reasons we started TTC was so we could give our child the love and care of 2 parents (he was with his ex til his youngest was 4, but there were ongoing issues in their relationship such that he felt like a single dad much of the time) I have even started looking at flats to rent because I am so, so scared about what will happen. And I really don't know if I am scared that he will turn into the kind of monster that ExH became, or whether I am scared that he is going to be a totally different kind of parent to me. ExH has not been involved at all with my DCs, and so I have brought them up entirely myself, making all the parenting decisions, being the only one for hugs etc.

Am I being totally irrational? I have no idea where all this panic is coming from sad

ICompletelyKnowAboutGuineaPigs Tue 11-Dec-12 12:41:12

Hello all.

Waves I have been in a similar, Hough not the same, situation as you when I had DS. His dad didn't want to he involved at first and so I started as a single parent and in many ways it was easier (organisation, decision making etc). when me and DS moved in with DH it did take some adjusting to but it wasn't actually as bad as I had thought it might be. I think the other thing to bear in mind is that most people experience different parenting styles/opinions regardless of when they have children or have been parenting alone before. I know its easier said than done but try not to worry, I'm sure you will negotiate the transition together. Also pregnancy hormones make you crazy so remember no rash decisions! grin

Sorry to hear about your surgery (and the reason for it) Tired. Eternally perky DDs does sound like a good plus side though!

grin at pointy head Wing (sorry, I shouldn't laugh). Hopefully BFing will go better this time - I loved it the second time round and can't wait to start again.

Glad your scan was positive mrsbri and you're feeling a bit more settled with everything.

I also had my scan today. Bang on with the dates and baby looks great and is on the 50th percentile for everything which makes me think that she can't be my child
I did purposefully use she by the way, because we found out we are having a girl smile . Both DH and I are very happy, as will DD (not sure about DS but will sell it to him somehow!)

Just got 20 weeks to think of names now and with DH it really will take that long!

tiredteddy Tue 11-Dec-12 12:59:21

wing ds1 was a cone head too!

mrsbri congratulations on that long wriggly baby and all good news at your scan

waves I've never been in that situation. I'm sure it's just the crazy hormones. You decided to ttc or js together and it sounds like you and your DH have the same outlook of being involved and real parenting. So maybe just tell him how you feel and I bet he will reassure you.

guinea so three of us have found out and three are having girls! Did I get that right? How exciting. My DS's are still in the dark but say they want a DS, think its just what they are used to. Not long until we see for sure in jan. really glad all was good at you scan and average size sounds good too!

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 13:19:20

Ooh it's a girly thread!

waves it's perfectly understandable that you are freaking out at all this. We all have done/will do for various reasons. Please, please try to stay calm and talk to your DP about it as well.

I'm sure if the pre-pregnant you made the decision to TTC having thought about it all, it is the right thing to do. The thing to do now is to talk about the big parenting issues and make sure you both agree on how to do things in certain areas, or at least respect each other's points of view.

DH and I parent differently: he is the 'friend' whereas I am most definitely the discipliner (poor DS). Which means that I sometimes get frustrated because DS wraps DH around his little finger whereas I am quicker to nip things in the bud. One example, the other night DH was putting DS to bed who decided that he was going to hide under his duvet instead of getting undressed, brush teeth etc. DH was sitting by the bed practically pleading with DS to come out and get ready for bed, I went in, said "right, if you aren't going to get ready now then I'll turn the light out and we'll see you in the morning. Night night." (which DS never wants to do because he actually likes his bedtime routine) and pulled DH out of the room before turning the light of. One second later, DS had jumped out of bed and was getting undressed and it all went as normal from that.

It's a small example but DH does wind me up sometimes! But I'd never say that it affects our relationship or that our parenting skills don't compliment each other - if we were both 'friends' or both discipliners it would be a mess/awful for DS.

You can definitely work this out. I'm sure you love each other and talking about how you both brought up your children in those first few years will definitely help after the baby has grown up a bit. I bet most people in relationships never talk about it before the baby has arrived (we didn't really) so you'll have an advantage from day one! bear

ChildOfThe1980s Tue 11-Dec-12 17:19:03

Congrats on the scan MrsBri smile

I had my 16 week mw appt today, and it went really well- I heard baby's heart- nice and strong. Mw confirmed that last December (when bloods were done by my GP as part of pre-pregnancy checks) I was immune to Rubella. Now I'm not. Most annoying.

Also, I have been sick a couple times today and feel rough, so I think I have my 3rd tummy bug of the pregnancy.

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 17:45:41

So glad you had a good MW appt today Child smile

There is a horrendous sickness bug going around our village at the moment. Every family in our church has been hit and DH is now shivering in bed (but not sick - yet).

We are meant to be going out for a posh meal tomorrow night for my birthday and then I've got the day off on Thurs (my actual bday) and we were planning to go to the Trafford Centre as I've not been before but I bet I'm ill by then.

Boo hoo, woe is me - and you too Child sad

Right, DS is at his first ever sleepover tonight at a friend's house so I now need to decide what to make for tea for just lowly me.

MrsBri Tue 11-Dec-12 18:16:21

Thank you everyone :-) So much happier now. I'm a natural worrier, so although I haven't dwelt on it as such, I have had concerns (partly fuelled by things I've read on here).

And my date has moved forward 3 or 4 days, depending whose you use, but they haven't filled in that box on my green book, so maybe that will be after my next scan on 5th Feb.

Glad your appt went well, Child, and your scan, Guinea. And anyone I've missed on my phone.

Good luck to those with scans soon. :-)

MrsBri Tue 11-Dec-12 18:27:41

And that's a real bugger, Wing. Bloody stomach bugs :-(

But better now than Christmas? Maybe. Though it is rubbish your birthday's affected.

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 18:31:31

Thanks. I've been sitting here feeling very sorry for myself probably hormones too wondering what fun things DS will hopefully be up to and I haven't even made myself any tea yet because I can't be bothered. I could honestly cry definitely hormones then

Right. Must get food inside my stomach.

tiredteddy Tue 11-Dec-12 19:25:40

Make sure youbhave something yummy wing that you normally wouldn't have because your DH and DS wouldn't like it, then it will be a treat just for you!

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 20:00:35

I found some lamb in the freezer and made a curry. It was delish. I had another couple of portions left over so DH and DS can have some too at some point.

But if I wanted something just for me that they wouldn't eat? Hmm... I can't think of anything but I'd really have liked a proper home cooked lasagne with nice salad on the side and garlic bread. Oh well!

tiredteddy Tue 11-Dec-12 20:04:32

Shame you don't live down south as I do a mean lasagne! wink glad you had a nice dinner. I need to drag myself away from hobby city and put some dinner on for me and DH.

MrsBri Tue 11-Dec-12 20:19:09

We had celebratory curry tonight...nom nom. :-)

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 20:33:48

Nom nom all round!

I now feel bad talking about yummy curry and lasagne while poor DH is shivering upstairs in bed sad

tiredteddy Tue 11-Dec-12 20:40:31

Just ordered a curry! grin

WingDefence Tue 11-Dec-12 20:47:12

Ooh what did you go for? I'm watching Masterchef to compound the foodie evening!

tiredteddy Tue 11-Dec-12 20:51:07

Chicken passanda, naan, special rice and some side dishes. Sharing with DH. I was nibbling the boys tea already so don't need a full take away!

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