Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for parents-to-be and new parents to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

November 2012 - the thread where Detective's baby arrives

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Mon 19-Nov-12 11:02:14
pikz Wed 21-Nov-12 04:38:48

fatima as a first timer I'm probably the lest useful to respond.

If it was me I'd go to my consultant as I'd be checked over...so he could possibly tell you if you have started labour etc also if it doesn't turn into anything you ten have to try get another consultant appointment.

Is there no way DH could come to consultant with you?

Chunkychicken Wed 21-Nov-12 04:39:45

What time do you have to decide fatima? Could you give it an hr or 2 & if things are moving on, give DH the car? Personally I wouldn't want to drive with tightenings after a show, just in case they increased whilst driving...

Iheartpasties Wed 21-Nov-12 04:47:55

fatima just to put my ten pence worth in, I know everyone is different but I had dd2 just after the bloody show (35 mins), never had one with dd1. Perhpas if you feel in a good place and things are progressing avoid the meetings so that you do not have any negativity in your head. If you feel they will give you any negativity that is smile a lovely calm environment will help labour no end, and you knowing you dh can whip home in the car might help your calmness as apposed to having to drive.

But anyway - the best of luck to you! So lovely to hear another promising sign of labour.

one of my beautiful butter-wouldnt-melt daughters just made a disgusting sounds with their rear end and I can smell poo "DH, can you come here please? Your daughter has a present for you" grin

DH had Monday as holiday for te unreal we went to so really can't take anymore time off until its definately labour. His job is relatively new so he doesn't qualify for paternity leave but they're letting him take 2 weeks unpaid.

That's what I'm concious of chunky if I take him to work and it cranks up I'm going to have to drive to get him with contractions. Although its only 15 minutes away.

I've got until 6:30 to decide. I've been up for 30 mins and its definitely getting more painful. Just running a bath to see if that helps.

Thanks pasties That helps, I was mainly going to the appointment for a matter of course and to say no to early induction so if I'm in early labour anyway, even if it takes a couple of days, I don't think the appointment will be of much use.
Your DD sounds lovely grin

Iheartpasties Wed 21-Nov-12 05:01:41

glad it helps, I just think it's such a shame for detective that she has had a bunch of utter wankers to deal with, because if she hadn't maybe her labour would have ramped up a bit. I'm annoyed on her behalf. I always liketo picture a little cat who is ready to give birth and ho wthey go off and find a nice quiet spot to do it in - with no consultants or specialists who want to talk about stuff! I'm sure certain parts of the brian are used for serious conversations and you do not want to use that part of your brain when in labour as it can slow it down - you need to go into yourself more.

Bryzoan Wed 21-Nov-12 06:02:43

So sorry I scared you re the sweep Lilliana. Looking online loads of people just seem to find them uncomfortable or not bad at all. Hope yours gets things going but doesn't hurt as much.

Fatima hard to know what to do. Are you planning to give birth at ge hospital? Is your consultant nice, and sensible? I think if it was yes to both I would possibly go in and take it from there - and let dh take a taxi back if it does ramp up. But equally cancelling and chilling out at home does sound good. I would see how you feel after that bath and go with your gut. A conversation about induction does not sound very oxytocin inducing!

Detective thanks so much for that link, so useful - and fascinating. My midwife implied 42 weeks was much mire clear cut with sv rates doubling. Will ask for a reference before making any final decisions now. I really hope you get what you need from your hospital visit today. At my sweep yesterday the midwife ways she doesn't think my baby has quite been hitting the right spot - hence the very posterior cervix. I feel lucky in that I really rate our community team here.

Huge congratulations on the arrival of Toby waiting. It does sound like you had a tough time of it. Well done on getting through it. Glad you are getting great bf support as a pay off. That was also the one good thing that came out of dd1's stay in Nicu. It is worth so much I think. Good also that you can recover a bit before having to deal with the baby and every day chores at home. Hope you mend soon.

Good luck today everyone - May the births be pleasant and plentiful :-)

georgee Wed 21-Nov-12 06:10:53

Fatima this does sound as if it's starting for you (from my limited knowledge). I would also say that DH could definitely get a taxi back if you start having proper contractions, surely ... you shouldn't really be driving. You don't want to be having conversations either, specially about irrelevancies. I can't see an induction will be needed at all. Phone them and explain or maybe have a brief phone conversation with the consultant? You could always book an appointment with him/her later in the week which you could then cancel if you've had the baby? People must cancel all the time (eg if they got winter vomming bug!). Crossing fingers for you. x

Bryzoan Wed 21-Nov-12 06:14:18

detective my mw also suggested taking regular paracetamol for 24 hrs to stop the niggles and let my uterus rest and recover a bit - she thought that may be enough then to help it start to get going properly. Don't know if that might help you too. I thought it worth a shot - though was still getting pains through the paracetamol last night... Gone now of course.

georgee Wed 21-Nov-12 06:16:51

Bryzoan - yes, that 'doubling' of the rates thing that I was told the first time, that scared me into an induction, which led to an EMCS (IMHO), is the doubling of a very small percentage. They don't tell you that and I wish I'd asked and held out a few days.

Detective I'm so sorry, you sound defeated. Sunday is a long way away at your stage of things. I agree though that the best thing is definitely to get scanned - I've heard of this long stop-start thing happening (although you will know infinitely more than me) and it's been because the baby has been badly positioned or there's something up with where the cord is, so labour cuts out before it gets too advanced. Go and get checked out and then you can make an informed decision (and the staff will be informed about what's going on in there too). Thinking of you. x

Lilliana I had a sweep last time and it didn't hurt. The most useful thing was finding out how dilated I was actually, so I think it's worth it for that.

Right, well contractions are pretty much the same, so could be the long haul but something's definitely happening.
I've ended up taking DH to work, that was interesting as it's the first time i've driven for 3 weeks.
My original plan was to pick my sister up later and she was coming to the consultant appointment with me, we've changed plans though. BIL will be dropping DSis off at my house so if I decide to go to the appointment then she can drive me and if DH needs to come home then she can drive my car to pick him up.

Don't know whether the appointment would be useful so they can check how i'm progressing. I have no idea what consultant i'll be seeing. I'm supposedly only under midwife care but they keep sending me to the odd consultant appointment.

WaitingForMe Wed 21-Nov-12 07:59:04

Sorry to hear you sounding so fed up Detective. I just wanted you to know I've found you really inspiring and while I didn't have the birth I'd have chosen I felt a degree of control at most times and fought for what I wanted/needed in part because you've been so adamant (and talked about it here) throughout your own pregnancy.

Good luck with whatever you go with today Fatima.

blonderthanred Wed 21-Nov-12 08:47:46

pasties that's so funny, that's exactly what I kept saying during my week in hospital - I just want to go off and sit in a cardboard box with blankets like a cat instead of having to discuss things with 14 different medical people every day and having things shoved up my fanjo.

Good luck Detective, we will all be hoping your baby makes an appearance before Sunday.

Fingers xed for everyone else too, hope all progresses well and smoothly.

Iheartpasties Wed 21-Nov-12 08:52:41

fatima I was just popping on to say maybe someone could drive you to your appointment, that way you dont miss it but dont have to drive, and also you will have someone to hold you hand etc good luck with it!

waiting I agree with you, knowledge is power!

Iheartpasties Wed 21-Nov-12 09:59:30

My friend had her baby yesterday, she was 40 + 6 and had a boy smile very pleased for her.

Lilliana Wed 21-Nov-12 10:31:17

Don't worry Bryzoan I'd rather be prepared and then if it's ok that's a bonus smile

Congratulations Waiting look after yourself and enjoy the quiet time with Toby.

Fatima it sounds like you have things sorted, hope this is it for you.

Detective I think a scan sounds like a good plan, at least you will know more about what is happening and can make an informed decision.

Sophiathesnowfairy Wed 21-Nov-12 11:22:38

fatima remember I had that show on the Monday and bizarre stroppy story contractions till the middle of the night on the Wednesday before they ramped up. I assumed this was the latent phase, which lasted about that long with DD2 as well. dH made me use the time to put my feet up and have some quiet chill out time, which I did, and I am glad I did. Treat yourself a bit, it sounds like that is where you are at.

detective my heart goes out to you, you must be so fed up. Big Hugs. Xxx

pikz am I right in thinking your were the other one destined for Frimley Park? If so they were great, really supportive and open to what I wanted to do on labour ward and on the postnatal ward the staff spent hours with me trying to sort out breast feeding without making me feel like I was being burdensome. I was really impressed. grin

StuntNun Wed 21-Nov-12 11:43:01

Congratulations on the birth of Toby Fatima. I prefer the full Tobias nicknamed Toby as well but DH wouldn't buy it way back when DS2 was born. We may call the puppy Toby when we get him next year instead but there are a couple of the kids' friends called Toby so that may not be a good move.

I have just had the midwife round and she's not too happy with the way my section is healing. I was too afraid to look at it so have just been assuming everything was fine. sad

StuntNun Wed 21-Nov-12 11:43:38

Doh Waiting not Fatima. Silly me.

StuntNun Wed 21-Nov-12 11:45:22

If it's any consolation I keep calling my brand new son Dylan (that's DS2) instead of James <hangs head in shame>. We all seem to be switching to Jim now instead of James. I wonder what will stick.

MissMummy1 Wed 21-Nov-12 12:20:41

I'm so angry and upset with my dad (and that's nothing compared to what dp is feeling). I've had him on the phone 3 times since last night basically telling me I'm a huge disappointment to his whole family because I'm not going to his dad's funeral tomorrow. It's 4 hours away (I can't even drive to tescos just now) and I didn't even know the man. I saw him a handful of times as a child and not once since I was 10. Grrrr. Why is my dad being such a prat about this?!?! Or am I being the selfish unreasonable one - he has just lost his dad blush

On the plus side I got lots of sleep from about 5am to 11am. My sleep pattern's fecked but that's the most I've had for weeks!

Fatima did you go to your appointment? Sounds like you found a good solution with your sister. I've got a similar (not really) dilemna on Friday whereby I've pencilled a tutoring client in for the afternoon. It would mean I need to take dp to work for 6.30am and he'd be stuck there should anything kick off. Of course this is all irrelevant if my back's still as painful...

Wow me me me post. Hope everyone's having a good bumpy tummy day today grin

StuntNun Wed 21-Nov-12 12:43:33

Detective I hope you're feeling a bit more positive today. We had hoped for a normal delivery this time round and it all seemed reasonable given that DS2 was a successful VBAC. Over the course of the labour and post-delivery certain information came to light which strongly suggest a CS was inevitable for me. First baby was LOT with his head firmly wedged at right angles to the correct orientation to enter the pelvis. Second, baby's weight at birth was well below expected suggesting some insufficiency of the placenta (this was suspected with DS2 as well). Thirdly, the placenta started coming away either before or in early labour. Fourthly, there was some deformity of the lower uterine segment. Finally, baby's heartrate showed decelerations after very mild contractions. Add that to the meconium in the waters on delivery and it very much looks like the CS was the absolute best thing to do.

My point is, none of this was apparent beforehand. We made our plans for another VBAC and it turned out very differently. But ultimately our baby was delivered safely and that's what matters most. I really hope you get your homebirth as planned. Please don't prejudge yourself a failure before you've even got there.

MissMummy1 Wed 21-Nov-12 13:05:23

Detective your determination is so inspirational. I'm sure whatever happens you will cope amazingly and all this stress will be forgotten as soon as you have your gorgeous little boy xxxx

Quick question: how soon did/do people go back to work? With my current MA situation and the loss of 2 big clients last year I'm considering my options. Stupidly I had a quick scout on s1 jobs today and an (almost too) ideal position has come up locally. 2 and a half days a week, decentish pay and I'm probably over more than qualified for it. It would also stand me in much better stead if/when I do my postgrad. Problem is, starting date would be beginning of February. From a childcare point of view DP is at home 2 weeks out of every 3 and my mum is more than willing to help out. Is it madness even considering applying for a job that would mean leaving my baby so soon? Financially we can manage without my income, but it will be a struggle and this would open up so many options in the long run... hmm

georgee Wed 21-Nov-12 13:11:59

Hi MM sorry about your dad, particularly when he said it was fine not going to the funeral before. Does he need to be reminded of what he said? He's probably not thinking straight. And others will point out that you'd be in no fit state to attend.

I would apply for that job and then deal with it if you get it! It's so hard to find part time work, you're not going to get many opportunities like this.

pikz Wed 21-Nov-12 13:31:04

sophia it was me...good to hear they we're fab. Makes me feel good about going there....if I ever go into labour.

Had midwife this morning, going to see consultant on Friday to talk inductions due to size of baby (v.large) and size of me, mainly due to huge size of DP. Now crossing everything baby which is giving me such strong Brixton hicks might turn up before then I won't have to worry.

Girl who had the last due date in our NCT group waters went his morning....feel like I'm going be the only one without a baby til Dec sad

Sorry feeling rather sorry for myself right now.

This thread is not accepting new messages.