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November 2012 - but that starts on Thursday

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Fri 26-Oct-12 17:23:18
Iheartpasties Sat 27-Oct-12 12:31:29

i missed off the grin

I'm at home now, I got evicted as someone was waiting in the corridor for the bed.
They've all said how barbaric it is to leave me in this pain with no option for pain relief but apparently they need to make a decision somewhere along the line and I happen to be the one that is losing out.
PALS aren't open until Monday so they'll be getting a phone call first thing.

At the moment I'm struggling like mad to try and sort help at home for next week with the children.
I'm on the sofa downstairs and I currently have no clue what I'm going to do in regards to using the toilet.
The consultant was my usual consultant but she was unusually unsympathetic and harsh, after the midwife saw me she went off and said the the consultant that this really wasn't on an they "compromised" by booking the first planned induction appointment they have which is in 2 weeks time (I they have a space on the day) with a sweep at the end of next week at home if it will make me feel better.

DP is livid, I'm at the end of my tether well and truly.

Iheartpasties Sat 27-Oct-12 12:36:51

detective take heart that they were all complinenting you on your bump! Being told you are huge, even when you are huge, is totally rubbish!!

MissMummy1 Sat 27-Oct-12 12:37:27

No pasties - I set the old one up in the bedroom and the new one up downstairs! It really wasn't heavy at all, just bulky and awkward. No doubt I'll get a lecture from him when he gets home about it though. It was bothering me it hadn't been done. If he'd moved it when I asked 2 weeks ago it wouldnt be a problem!

I also managed to set a spare freeview box up to work with my office monitor so we have tv in there now too. This is quite an achievement for a technophob like me!!

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 12:40:24

Excuse the crap typing! blush

Oh, I had my midwife appt yesterday, still measuring huge fine - 38cm yesterday. I'm sure there is no more room to go upwards, so it must be going outwards now! Head was engaged, but I'm sure it is bobbing in and out tbh. Was LOA yesterday, but again, like Stunt it rotates frequently. It seemed to prefer ROA but in the last few days it has been more LOA than ROA. So I'm taking that as a good sign. grin

I was the only one in for an appt yesterday, so we spent 30 minutes gabbing about the state of midwifery! Seems I've found my counterpart! Except she is 30 years older than me. She said she is on call on Thursday, so I'll be trying hard to get this baby out for thursday, if tomorrow fails grin

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 12:42:17

Tits you know the advice I gave you - well, take the same advice, but go to another hospital. Yes, you aren't booked there, but the NHS has a duty for emergency care.

I wouldn't ring, just pick one and go. And explain the situation.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Sat 27-Oct-12 12:42:22

OMG tits I can't believe they are just chucking you out! At least when I was assessed on tues she made it clear that I had a hope of induction next week and that it was just a little too early for me as I wasn't yet 37weeks (one bloody day off!)

I agree that you should try starting a thread asking about private healthcare as someone must know something!

I'm doing ok just now. DD stayed at Granny's last night as DH is working this morning. I had a lie in, interrupted a million times for the loo, and stayed in bed til 12pm! Now contemplating sorting things through but will need DH and possibly to get DD minded. The nursery is still chock full of DDs clothes which need shifted to her new room in order for us to sort babies clothes etc out. Bit of a massive task in all honesty as the nursery has become a dumping ground. I think I will ask MIL if she can have DD for a few hours....wish me luck! It really needs done this weekend especially if I get my way and get induced this week sometime.

Iheartpasties Sat 27-Oct-12 12:43:15

Oh mm1 i have a heavy bag of dirt/compost on my balcony that needs moving and i asked dh last weekend, now it's taunting me!! must get him to shift it tomorrow, its in the way all the time (now i've noticed it).

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Sat 27-Oct-12 12:46:39

tits when are you due? Is two weeks even before your due date? It all seems so so cruel! I know the pain you are in and I am only coping at home due to downstairs loo and a TON of help from my MIL and mum etc in that I only have about an hour with DD where I am actually alone. I couldn't manage otherwise however they did offer to admit me at least.

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 12:53:57

I'm another one with a DP that gets asked to do a job - and then doesn't do it.

Drives me mad because I ask him, and he says in a minute. Then forgets. So I ask again. In a minute. Then forgets. And we have to go around in this circle until I explode.

The dining room light bulb went 3 nights ago when DS was eating. Asked him to change it there and then - the bulbs are sitting in the cupboard - it still hasn't been changed. And it took him 2 months to change the outdoor light bulb - which requires ladders for me, but not for him hmm

It really does take me losing my rag to get stuff done. Rage!

I asked to be admitted mainly for the pain relief but again they are stating no beds anywhere in the hospital.
7th is 2 days before my due date, although if I get no joy today or tomorrow I will be calling every bloody hour if I have too to find out how "busy" the labour ward is as I live about 2 minutes on the same rd as the hospital, I'm not sure what the problem is with them calling me any time day or night and saying they are quieter so I can come in, how do they know there will be emergencies until the 7th? Even then what will they do if they are still booked up? It's bloody politics and guidelines that are causing this madness.

Detective - the only other hospital is in the same trust as us and have already said they're not willing to take me because the local has filtered off all the labouring women to them already but I shall certainly give it a go.

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 12:54:34

I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait til I have to do everything myself again. Because I know it will get done, and done properly!!!!

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 12:55:59

How far away is the next hospital? www.birthchoicesuk.com

georgee Sat 27-Oct-12 12:57:04

Oh tits that's incredibly rubbish not to be able to help you as you need. Poor you, that's really tough.

I just looked on the stats board and tits is due 17/11, to answer everyone's question! (I should think you've got better stuff to think about!), which makes you, what, 37 weeks today?

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Sat 27-Oct-12 12:58:21

If you stay so close I cannot see why they can't just call when they are a bit quieter. Although I guess part of the problem is induction isn't an exact science as it can take hours into days. Mine was started last time in a sun and then DD wasn't born til the Tues. it's just ridiculous to leave you like this! If you needed an emergency delivery they would need to find space!

georgee Sat 27-Oct-12 12:59:19

Sorry, that meant that tits was probably too distracted at the mo to answer questions, although I had that question myself about her EDD! Came out wrong, that, sorry!

ShellyBobbs Sat 27-Oct-12 13:00:10

Congratulations to all the new mums smile

Horsey sounds like you're in labour and have gone to hospital, lucky you.

Tits I'm absolutely disgusted at the treatment you have received! What a shame it's weekend because I would have just gone straight to the very top complaining today if things were open, it's a disgrace and I would get an email sent round to all papers today to see if they'll take your story up, they love this kind of thing and especially with Cameron 'shaking up the NHS', it may get someone kicked right up the arse!

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 13:00:25

I understand from a logistics point of view Tits as I've been the one working when the wards have been full. You have to prioritise cases in this situation - it is the shit side to the NHS. Doesn't make it right, but the only way to get anywhere is to go higher. On a ward staff basis - they can't change anything.

But if you are prepared to go elsewhere, that is always an option.

The induction process can be a long one, so that is why it has to be managed carefully in terms of timings.

It is difficult when it gets busy - and one minute it can seem calm, then all hell breaks loose.

Why don't you ring the hospital switchboard, and ask for the Supervisor of Midwives on call, and then explain the situation to her, and that you are not happy with your care. There is an SOM on call 24/7.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Sat 27-Oct-12 13:03:37

I never thought of checking that thread georgee blush

ShellyBobbs Sat 27-Oct-12 13:06:21

Tits Tell them about the treatment you have received from start to finish and they wanted you to have homecare, a commode and a f'ing wheelchair!

WaitingForMe Sat 27-Oct-12 13:15:03

Congratulations blonder and TiAAAAARGHo.

One of my clients is a firm of personal injury solicitors and they regularly do cases where individuals have paid privately where the NHS was financially responsible. As far as I understand this is determined by medical need. If you decide to go privately Tits send me a PM and I'll find out what you'd need to do to build a case to get reimbursed.

I shall see who I can call.

I will just point out though that I totally understand ad respect that they are busy, they over worked and don't have the space, but as I pointed out they have have a duty of care to attend to and I'm pretty sure leaving a person in chronic pain, totally immobile with no analgesia is not right, I'm not a wimp by far, I birthed my last baby with no spin relief and smiled and chatted my way through it ffs, I'm not I've exaggerating or making a big deal because I want the induction for any other reason. I have no pun intended bent over backwards to allow them the flexibility of treating me at the same time as treating urgent cases, offering to go to a different hospital or even a general medical ward just so I can at least have the pain relief!
I asked for a sweep today to see if it would do anything before going home but no incase I went into labour and then they'd have to sort out a bed/space.
I have been tolerant and polite (although firm) I have laid it on the line and outlined everything that this is causing including mh issues and the effect it's having on my home life.
At no point have I been a diva and demanded uneccasary care or treatment. I have had 2 quick, straight forward births before, 1 which was induced. I am not unaware of the procedure or risks but a person can only cope with so much pain at any one time and I'm sorry but I reached my limit a long time ago.

Sigh. Rant over. I going to close my eyes for a little while, I've had no sleep, no food and I need to wait for DP to get back from the shop because they also failed to give me my medication this morning. angry

Thanks for being angry on my behalf and giving me lots of advice. I'll update as and when I can, I'm really tired and weary now though.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Sat 27-Oct-12 13:27:40

Oh tits I wish we could help. I know the pain you are in. I hope you can manage to rest a little and maybe get an hour or two of sleep.

TheDetective Sat 27-Oct-12 13:28:16

SOM Tits

Start there.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Sat 27-Oct-12 13:30:17

Oh tits am so sorry you are dealing with this. Do wonder whether you need to escalate the issue up the food chain - worth following detective's advice and asking to speak to the Supervisor of Midwives?

A being a bad mummy today. It's cold but sunny here and my last day where it's just me looking after DD. Normally I would take her to the park / feed the ducks / do something but I am too achy and waddle-y and also can't be arsed to leave the house. We're watching movies and endless Peppa Pig. She is also helping me with chores. Hopefully the odd day where I do nothing to really entertain her is ok!

Less than a week to go for me.

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