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graduates of the wine-and-shagging-af ter-mc thread come hither!(1000 Posts)
Seeing as practically all of us have now got pg, here is a new home for all of us to come to carry on chatting after getting the BFP after our mcs. Today we are pregnant!
Hi everyone! Sorry it has taken me a while to update but I've been very tired, very anaemic, struggling with flashbacks and breastfeeding. The good news is that my baby is beautiful and wonderful and we love her to bits.
Ok the birth. My waters broke at 1 in the morning after the sweep. I went to be checked at th hospital, everything was fine so I was sent home to establish labour. Unfortunately I didn't get a nice build up and the contractions came on regularly and unbearably so I went straight back. I tried being in water but the pushing down feeling and pain was unbearable so I went to the room in the delivery unit and tried gas & air. This did work of a while but then I was hallucinating, lost control and was screaming the place down. After 13 hours I got an epidural and the relief was amazing. The difficulties didn't stop there though as my contractions just weren't working even on a drip and she got distressed. Eventually I went to theatre and she was delivered with forceps. I was begging for them at this point! I'm cut and torn and have been very sore but starting to feel better. I lost a lot of blood and had to stay in hospital for a while. Fortunately baby is fine and thriving. I am really struggling with the pain of breastfeeding and spend lots of time crying. Nothing about he birth went to plan really and I feel quite sad about it.
Sorry this is not a more positive post but I will be fine, honest.
Yesterday was one year to the day since my mc.
wilde hugest congrats on your PhD, that is an amazing achievement! sorry o hear about your poorly DS though, hope he is ok now.
twenty thank you for checking up on me. Thinking of you too x
boo are you on mat leave now? Enjoy every minute!
ice how are you doing with your DS now? Hope all is well.
snow hope you find some nice maternity wear. I am oddly going to miss some of mine! Still wearing it at the moment.
sheldon chick that sounds frightening, frustrating and frightening in that order. No wonder you are stressed out about it. I hope that you make peace with your experience somehow - do talk to your mw about it because they may be able to helpyou talk it thru. FWIW I had a 'dream' labour yet was still shell shocked by the experience for months after.
Re bfing is anyone looking after you? It just shouldn't be painful.
Thanks for your congrats have sussed that ds has got roseola virus which is why his temp skyrocketed between me saying goodbye to a jolly boy at 1030 and him having such a high temp he had a febrile convulsion at lunchtime all is.ok now tho.
And it is my birthday today! Been very quiet - went for lunch.but other than that just looking after the wean.
Ah sheldon. Hope you ok.x
Happy birthday wilde
I am getting some great bf support from the community support worker but I am finding it quite hard. I didn't have the latch right for a while and the damage has been done. I'm working hard but starting to doubt myself. I just hope it gets easier.
DrWilde - happy birthday!
Sheldon - oh my word. You have been through the mill. Have you got a tube of Lansinoh? It's a lanolin cream to smear on your nipples which really really helps to heal them quickly. Also letting them 'hang out' and not keeping your boobs in a bra for a day might help? Hot baths? Warm the breast with a hot flannel before feeding to encourage let downs? Am sure you've been told it all already. I totally understand about tricky bfeeding. I've struggled each time with latching etc. don't forget that you can call an NCT bf counsellor too. But equally don't feel guilty about using formula either. My DS4 is so big that I am topping him up with formula. I always tell myself that DH and I are formula babies and we're perfectly normal
Good luck with that!
We off skiing on Sunday - all 6 of us. Barking mad.
Just had to post quickly after reading sheldon's post - am on bus going to work (finish April 1 but work part time hence fewer days).
Really feel for you sheldon - I too was lucky in labour (so far!) but I really believe that luck is a huge part of it. You did really really well to produce a healthy, thriving baby and that is the most important thing. Having a baby is equally about the 9 months of gestation, we put too much emphasis on birth - try not to dwell on it.
Also re breastfeeding I think it does hurt even when you are doing it right - I remember my sil saying to me no one ever tells you this. I had no problems as such but I found my boobs very uncomfortable, massive and swollen plus sore nipples and the first few seconds of sucking agony until it settled down. And when u are feeding constantly, it does feel like an endurance marathon! I second ice's tips, and rest assured it will improve. Equally if you feel it can't be quite right, get help. Loads of luck, thinking of you - I recall those first few days / weeks of Dd1 being a mix of ecstatic joy and utter misery due to hormones / pain with b/f and exhaustion. It gets better!! Hugs!!! Xx
sheldon - i had a bad delivery with DS and with blood loss and infection and breastfeeding it took me at least 6 weeks to kind of feel ok(ish) again, tho episiotomy stitches and pelvic floor damage took a good while long. It can feel v dispiriting to have had such a horrible time but my best advice is to just take all the time you need, enjoy your lovely baby and dont expect yourself to just bounce back too quickly. Sending some virtual hand holding and now i've hit 20 weeks i am starting to feel a bit anxious about doing it all again!
That is a tight deadline wilde, good luck meeting it!
Caught up with some friends for a lovely dinner full of baby, toddler & pregnancy chat. Got home just in time tho cos we're pretty snowed in now! DS was sick durin the night so even tho he seems to be feeling a good bit better now he seems happy enough with the prospect of a duvet day pheww!!
God the bus just broke down & I had to leg it to catch the next one - que comedy pregnant run with bus load of peeps watching .
Anyway, also wanted to say twenty - thinking if you & rooting for you. Xxx
Ice - have a fan skiing hols! Wow u are brave and good for you, would love to be doing that (fear I might be a safety risk on slopes right now!!?)
And wild - happy birthday!! Hope you had a good one. Do glad to hear your DS is on the mend!
Hope everyone has a great day! Xxx
I can't believe my phone autocorrected to que when I meant cue! Arrrgh I hate that. Apologies! X
How are you today Sheldon? Have been.thinking of you. I hope you are ok - I fear I came across as rather blase yesterday when really I am.anything but about bad labour experiences.
Glad you are being looked after bf-wise, latch is a bugger. Lots of lansinoh (i could get free sachets from my hv - can you?) And fresh air as ice wisely advises. Bf really is a skill that you learn on the job and generally everything slots into.place at around 6 weeks. We are all here for handholding and advice if you need us x
Yay ice for skiing! You going to Yorkshire?! Hehe. Have a wonderful time.
boo I shouldn't laugh but you paint a comical pic of you running for a bus! Hope didn't give you too much bump ache.
I have made.my cot, got out and washed the.Moses basket and washed some clothes for newbie . Also even got a toy box for little baby things (only that organised because of moving house tho).Off for growth scan now! Eek.
hello all, this thread has got very quiet!
Hope everyone's doing well. Wow wild sounds like you are really getting organised! I haven't done any washing yet, nor got the crib, though I might get it from mums at the weekend. We are still painting rooms and swapping stuff around so it's not easy to get at all the baby stuff yet. Dreading finding that the carrycot has gone mouldy down in the cellar
or not as will have an excuse to buy a shiny new buggy.
How did the growth scan go - how come you get one? I am having one around 36/7 weeks to check it's not going to be a giant. I just watched the OBEM from last week where the woman who had last had a baby with shoulder dystocia and it got me slightly worried (although having done some research now on shoulder dystocia it does seem to be pretty rare). Anyway, I am also going to look at a birthing pool tomorrow morning to potentially buy second hand for a bargain, so that might be good.
I am only working 2 days this week - fri and sat - so it's quite quiet so far. I've got a stack of jobs to do at home though so that should keep me busy.
Hope things are a bit better sheldon! and that everyone else is doing great. Isn't this weather horrendous!?
Well you sound like you are being very organised sorting your rooms! I will have this PhD work keeping.me.company until maybe even after bubs is born so am getting stuff done as and when have also wanted to have clothes ready in case he comes early - am assuming nothing this.pregnancy!
Turns out my birthpool doesn't exist anyore, dh says he threw it out last time we moved! Wtf. Am lucky tho as my friend is a doula and has offered me hers for fwee! Hurrah
Had friends to stay this weekend and a housewarming party on sat which was brilliant but going.to bed at 3am to get up with ds at 7 is insane! Feel like we have moved back properly now tho No nursery today as have pulled ds out as it wasnt very good so we can enjoy the sunshine in our own way this morning. Mw appt this aft yay.
Are you starting mat leave soon boo? For some reason I thought you had started.
Does.anyone have any advice on dealing with carpel tunnel.syndrome? Typing this is giving.me.pins and needles and I can barely hold a knife in.my right hand for it now! Crackers.
Hope everyone is well. Any fun easter plans afoot?
Yes, quiet on here
Freezing and snowy over here still and I'm heading off up the coast with a bunch of teenagers (for work) on residential tomorrow morning. Brrr!!!!
Have just been v busy finishing off a big freelance project (which will be helping pay for my mat leave so can't complain!) and I've been feeling pretty knackered apart from that so early nights all round.
No big plans for Easter, just family time with me, DH, DS and my mum and dad / in-laws. Might catch up with some friends - not sure about day trips cos of the weather but hopefully can get out and about the park/library/swimming pool anyway and next week is alllllll about the toilet training!! We also have our 20 week scan this Friday...when I'll be 21 weeks lol
Hope you're all doing well - sorry about the carpel tunnel syndrome wilde and glad your friend has a birth pool you can use. Good luck with the decorating boo - bonus of the snowy weather was getting DH to build a load of flat pack furniture for me this weekend lol Going to spend next weekend putting it all to good use so everything in play room and kitchen will be nice, tidy and organised
Hi, sorry for the silence. Just getting used to life with a newborn and sleep deprivation! Thanks for all the lovely messages, I think I have solved the breastfeeding problems with the help of the community breastfeeding advisors as it is now much more comfortable. I was so sore due to bad latches that it hurt so much and I was ready to give up. I was using too much Lansinoh too which made her slide around and now I have been air drying things are better. Now if this cluster feeding until 3am could just settle down, everything will be much easier
Stitches still very painful at times and sitting down is still an art. I really want to stop taking so many painkillers in a day. Still, all I need to do is look at her adorable chubby cheeks to feel better
ice Skiing with the whole family? Eek! Sounds great though, have a lovely time.
snow Yay for being 20 weeks, that seems to have gone really quickly.
wilde Boo to the lack of birth pool but glad you can get another one. Really wish I had been able to give one a try properly. Oh well, maybe next time (did I really say that?) Housewarming and new life sound great. Oh carpal tunnel - I had it and could have had wrist splints to sleep in from the hospital physio. I didn't get round to it but it improved on its own and was fine towards the end.
boo Hope you manage to find a birthing pool and get your rooms sorted out. I loved organising all the clothes and nappies and decorating the room.
Anyway, just snatching a quick breakfast before I am needed again.
sheldon - great to hear from you, glad you are getting into the swing of things. Sleep deprivation, stitches and breastfeeding are a v bad combo in first lot of weeks but as long as you get lots of rest and plenty of help i'm sure you will be feeling a lot more human v soon!!! V jealous of you getting to cuddle your little bundle when i still have 19 weeks to go lol
We had our big scan yesterday and we decided in the end to find out gender - another little boy in there! DS (and DH and not to mention the grandads lol) all v excited - I won't deny I was kind of hoping for a girl just to have one of each but as soon as I found out that it was a boy I got v excited about having another one and we went straight to baby gap and spent some vouchers I had left over from DS being a baby to buy new little babygrows and things for the hospital bag!
Hope everyone else is well and having a nice weekend - don't forget clocks go forward tonight, my mum just texted to remind me hee xx
Happy easter everyone!
I am relaxing after manic times seeing family and friends this weekend! And breathe...
sheldon lovely to hear from you. Great to hear things are slowly working themselves out, well done you. Is a slow old game recovering from a birth so take it easy on yourself. Hope you feeling ok.
snow woot congrats on your boy! And a healthy scan and buying things! Yay. You have reminded me that i still have bits to buy actually, keep forgetting!
Waving to all not much to say here - same old waddling self, still measuring two weeks small, still in heartburn and carpel tunnel hell!
Ooooh actually, I have found out that my friends who sadly lost their baby back in Nov but were due at the same time as me are preggo again. Am so delighted and have everything crossed for them that this one is ok
Oh boo are you doing any birth preparation at all? Like yoga or hypno anything or classes? I haven't had headspace to think about labour yet and wonder if I didn't ought to start in some way.... Hmm.
Right! I need a moan! I really, really need a moan. Please bear with me and no, you really don't need to reply!!
Ok - my feet are so fat they throb when I walk or stand up. My hands are so fat they are tingly or numb. I can't sleep because I wake up needing the loo or my arm has cramp or my hand has gone numb I am grumpy and hormonal and somewhat confrontational or weepy. I can't get up without holding onto things like a disabled old lady and it takes a couple of slow tester steps to make sure my hips/pelvis is correctly aligned before I can actually set off. I cannot bend down and pick up DS's toys. If I pick DS up for a cuddle I get the worst bump ache/weird bruise feeling so have to stop that properly. It takes me ages to do anything to help DS and he is frustrated with me. DS (he's 3) has learnt how to say 'NO' and properly mean it which is testing my tired, frayed nerves and this makes me sad because he is only being a grown up little boy (and am very proud of his burgeoning independence) but really, NOW?! Please cooperate DS!! I am unbelievably tired but have no time for napping or even just sitting. I get heartburn all the time. I cannot eat anything and yet I can't stop eating. My face has ballooooooooooned and I feel like I am wearing a giant fat suit. My boobs really hurt and are starting to leak. I have to work on my PhD again and have no childcare, no brain and all I want to do each day is eat fish and chips then snooze. And mostly and finally, I must seem fine to everyone around me because no one apart from DH is giving me a break at all!!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That is so much better.
On a lighter note, the heartburn is lessening I think (baby dropping?), I adore my baby more and more every day and just can't wait for him to join us and can't believe we will have a proper family soon, DH is being completely lovely and insists I laze about whenever I can (but I can't, I have to work!) and cuddles me when I start weeping about something inane again, I don't have SPD yet so am actually mobile (am so grateful for this) when in my last pg I was in tears with it at this stage; and when not awake with the above I can sleep because I don't have clicky hips/bad back/and don't even need cushions to support me, I am quite normal. For these things I am SO grateful and happy.
TBH I am really quite fit in this pregnancy and am really lucky! Oh, and I haven't had any bleeding since moving to cornwall?! bizarre!
Thank you for letting me get that out. Actually this morning I caught myself understanding why they had the confinement period in the olden days. Ah to be made to stay in bed and do nothing and talk to no one but my nearest and dearest every day! Instead I am driving a 3hr round trip on weds to see my supervisor... Eck!
Hope everyone is having a smashing break. and - for taking the earbashing!
ps am 34 weeks tomorrow so really am meant to be feeling pretty pregnant now, I realise this!
wilde - fully sympathise!!! I'm only 21 weeks and i'm not really suffering yet but at the same time the morning sickness that never ended and lasted all day and all night really only finished about 2 weeks ago for me and has been replaced with a much bigger bump, low energy levels (thankfully not every day, some days i'm brilliant but other days getting out of bed is challenging!) and horrible heartburn. Tough going with a toddler who I am busy trying to get potty trained this week...and I don't have the PhD on top of that!! Really enjoying the easter break off work tho I must say, just a shame DH is back in again tomorrow... Rant away, only 6 weeks to go and you'll have your baby with you woo hoo!!
Aw wild I feel for you! I am getting a bit fed up now - I have good days and bad days to be honest. Like you, I can't really complain in that I don't have any specific afflictions, but I am not sleeping well - I have horrid heartburn if I eat anything too late or spicy/ fatty. I have a cold so can only sleep with mouth hanging open which gets horribly dry and hideous taste in my mouth and wakes me up. I feel slightly sick and off food, but am hungry. I feel like a weeble when I try and get up off the sofa/ bed/ a chair, etc.
So, yes, bring it on!!! My bump is still very high which is good in a way as midwife said she was head up today - but because so high still lots of time and room to move. But I am sick of the ache underneath my bust - and the rib kicking! I am coming up to 35 weeks, on friday, I think.
wild can you find some childcare? Is your DS in nursery? It must be pretty tough trying to work around him, specially at this late stage of preg. Hope you are nearing the end of the corrections. My youngest (2y 10 months) can be rather trying - today she just didn't want to put any clothes on so was completely naked until about midday. She gets really angry if I say no to her.... sigh. She also drew on the wall today - but was very contrite afterwards.
snow hope your potty training is going ok, it's good to get it done with well before baby comes, but I do remember the smell of poo making me feel sick when I had morning sickness - not sure how it smells worse than in a nappy but I suppose it just gets around more... re your energy have you had your iron checked? I have found my energy improved greatly after getting a supplement (from midwife), almost as soon as she'd given me the packet, though, so maybe psychological.
Anyway, I had a preg massage today which was very nice - I have managed to become a case study for a woman who is training, and I get 4 free massages! I have had 2 so far, 2 to go. Tis very nice. Been pretty busy this week too with kids off, and DH for some of the time which has been lovely. Next week will be the challenge as it's just me and the two of them but I have plans. Pity its so damn cold still as I had fondly planned to sit in playgrounds for the duration... might have to go to the soft play instead.
No other news here really - still trying to get on with jobs and sorting house out. My two are swapping rooms so we have got a new bed for DD1, and need to put up her desk etc. I am not looking forward to moving all the clothes - I hate folding and sorting clothes.... so putting that off.
I am officially on mat leave, well parental leave actually (unpaid), mat leave kicks in start of May (so pay will start again for a few weeks) . I am looking forward to the kids being back in school so I can get going on some jobs, and just sleep....
Hope all well with everyone. I wonder how ice got on with the skiing!? And where, oh where, is SPRING!?
Ooh snow just realised I forgot to mention your scan - fabulous that all is going well and a lovely boy!! I think it's strange when you find out the gender as even if you had no preference you feel a teensy but sad for the little girl/ boy that it wasn't, iykwim. Having the same gender was new to me (have 2 brothers) but I think 2 (or more, hopefully!) of the same gender have a bond. I think any combo of genders is nice ultimately though.
Anyway, after that ramble i'm off to bed - hoping for a heartburn free night as I last ate around 6.30pm. Night!
boo - sorry about the heartburn, it's such a pain...literally! I ended up needing to take Ranitidine with DS in third tri. Heartburn starting to annoy me from time to time now but so far a glass of milk is still helping. Prob not for long tho!
Massage sounds lovely!! And glad you're getting stuff done round the house - I'm doing the same, sorting out playroom, clearing out my wardrobe, getting nursery set up. All happening slowly but it is happening!
My iron levels are fine, not sure why I'm feeling so wrecked. Could bjust be because I was so sick at the start and it's all catching up with me now - mw is making me come back at 25 weeks when usually with no. 2 I wouldn't have been going back til 28 weeks, and she said it's cos of the sickness and that I still have ketones in my wee. Fun stuff this pg business!!!
Toilet training day 3 here - DS starting to get the hang of it but only if I let him run around half naked. Shorts / pants too much for a busy young man to think about apparently lol
boo preg massage sounds great Am not into massage personally (I don't like being touched or relaxed by other people! Am a freak I know) but if I was I would swoon at that.
yes good days and bad days. looking after littlies turns pregnancy into a whole new ball game doesn't it?! I was reading my emmas diary book last night and she was going on about having naps because she was on maternity leave. I could read no further - I am NOT on maternity leave and NOT having naps and would kill for both! [grin
ug heartburn sucks, poor you. I am genuinely fearful if I have less than two bottles of gaviscon to hand now. And if I eat late I have to sleep in the spare room because I will toss and turn with indigestion all night! Despite my complaints DH has invited friends round for dins tonight so we are having thai takeaway. ho hum (but thai... YUM!)
Hope your room moving is going ok boo
snow you are preggers and have had a tough time of it physically, and with work, and having a wean to look after already. Take it easy on yourself Having ketones in your wee is not cool so do take it easy if and when you can - don't feel guilty. <stern face> good luck with the toilet training! How old is DS again? we tried when my DS was 2.6months to no avail, then again when he was three and he took to it instantly. strange business!
AFM I am happy happy happy! This afternoon my DS is being looked after by his ungodly parents (they haven't had him on his own before and have a big surprise trip of Cornish fun to a farm or something planned for him ) and will be entertained and worn out for me so I am delighted! I have lots of work to do, hence having the laptop out and a fluent post for once hehe. Working means I am still tho, and the hosue is quiet, and I am not being asked 'why?' about everything for, oh, a few hours yet .
And the health visitor came over this morning and is super keen on extended BF and happy with cosleeping etc so I know we are on the same page. Much better than my last HV who was telling me to leave the baby to cry and space out BF for four hours when he was weeks old or I would 'tire myself out' .
Is scary how everyone now asks how long I have left rather than how far along I am. Means I really am near the finishing post! And when I say six weeks they go 'oooh not long then'. Arf. Am scared!
beautiful sunshiny day here today. Hope everyone else has some sun too!
hope skiing holiday was/is tremendous fun ice. What are you up too - chilling out in cosy bars and the chalet with the baby while the boys completely exhaust themselves on the slopes?! Sounds pretty savvy to me Do you have your own place or are you being waited on by chalet staff? <dreams>
hope you are settling in ok with your new bubs Sheldon. Am soooo nosy I really want to see what your babies look like ladies! Are you using your lovely knitted goodies and patchwork quilt?
right, I better swig some gaviscon and get on with some work... My bump is sat right on my thighs which is very amusing.
Quick hello! Sorry for the silence - have family staying and not a moment's peace. DD is wonderful and thriving. She is now over 10lb at 3 weeks old
Happy to share a pic, what is the best way? Was there some mention of a FB group at some point? Happy to do that or I can try to put one on my profile.
Will be back to read properly and catch up very soon. Hope you all have some nice weather, we finally have some sun here
well done you Sheldon
yes lets do a FB book if people are up for it. I am not very savvy at these things and would dread to make it public by accident but I can have a go tho if everyone fancies it... twenty would you be in it too with us, would feel odd without you?
gosh am tired today. and really actually very huge and waddling about. Driving is getting uncomfortable too as my bump gets in the way!
DH is away tues - fri this week... eek!
I'm on my own with DD for the first time! Going well so far, she is sleeping in her bouncy chair while I drink coffee and eat cake Not sure what else to do but I'm sure it will become obvious at some point.
wilde That would be great with the FB group. How do we find each other? I could pm you my real name and a description of my pic so you can find me? Or the other way round if you prefer. twenty I would love it if you joined us too but we can still talk on here if you prefer.
wilde Are you less tired today? I was so so tired towards the end and I actually feel better now despite the broken sleep and night feeds. Driving was uncomfortable for me too and I pretty much gave up at the end. Glad to hear you have a sensible HV. Not convinced by mine at all. She came and told me to take saltwater baths for my stitches (which the hospital told me to definitely not do) and also said I wasn't feeding for long enough and she needed to come back to weigh her this week to make sure I was doing properly! Well, the midwife said this was rubbish and confirmed she has put on plenty of weight. Silly HV.
ice Hope you holiday went well.
boo Massage sounds lovely. I have never had one done but it must be so nice when pg. I agree about the weather, really wanting spring to start. Hope you are enjoying your leave.
Snow Congratulations on your lovely second boy, how wonderful. Glad all is well. Hope the toilet training is going well too.
Eeek, got to go and deal with a serious nappy incident! These reusables keep leaking so I don't think I'm fastening them properly
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