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November 2012 - counting down the weeks

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Tue 25-Sep-12 23:33:48
blonderthanred Thu 27-Sep-12 13:14:17

My mum said that - she couldn't imagine how she was going to love a second child as much as she loved me, or how her love was going to 'stretch' round us both, but then she suddenly found she had a whole new amount of love - it was like her heart just expanded. Her friends have now told her how amazing grandmotherhood will be and she can't imagine that either, but she's looking forward to finding out!

kissyfur Thu 27-Sep-12 13:14:38

I feel the same madamgazelle I am sure when I hold this baby in my arms I will feel a big rush of love but right now I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love my little DD

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Thu 27-Sep-12 13:14:52

In completely unrelated news, am struggling a bit to be a good friend to someone TTC. She has been a friend since we were 11, and has always wanted children. It's not happening for her. Unexplained infertility. In the time she has been trying, I have conceived accidentally with DD and then immediately with DC2. A third friend has just announced her first pregnancy, just a few months after her wedding. Neither of the two of us pregnant ones had burning desires for children when we were younger, just assumed we would want them eventually.

Fairly naturally, our friend has withdrawn a bit from us. She wrote to me to say she feels horrible for doing so at such an important time in my life, and feels like she is being crap, but it is a self preservation thing. I am sad for her, and sad that due to my circumstances I cant be there for her the way I want to be/would normally support her, as she's always been a rock for me. Guess I cant do much than express this, and perhaps occasionally get in touch and not mention pregnancy/DC, and otherwise leave it to her. Anyone else ever been in a similar sort of situation with any bright ideas?

blonderthanred Thu 27-Sep-12 13:36:18

MG, I had problems ttc, although fortunately only a year but I wasn't ovulating during that time so it was a real worry. Anyway having been on some of the support boards on MN, I know for a lot of women it can be particularly difficult to hear about someone else's ease of getting pregnant, even though they know their life isn't perfect either. All I would suggest is doing what you have said, letting them know that you understand why they feel like this and that you will always be there for them and will try to be sensitive about the issue.

The feelings can come in waves, particularly if the person ttc has lots of pg announcements at the same time, so she may find that her feelings lessen or her genuine happiness for you starts to overcome her personal sadness. You don't need to lose touch but they will probably need some space at certain times. It's a good sign that she's faced up to the situation and written to you. Hopefully she will be successful soon and you can all enjoy your families together in the future.

My DP is coming down with the sniffles, poor love hmm he has snored solidly for the past couple of nights!

I had to go into the school today, DS2 is in yr 1 and a group of yr 3 kids have been laughing at him about his stutter, we had almost got it under control but these little darlings have caused it to kick in again. angry I am sooooo not impressed!!!

I am feeling generally ok as far as pregnant ladies go, although I've developed the shakes which is odd, no clue why.?!.

I'm trying to summon the energy to decide what to make for dinner ... I can't say I'm getting far!

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 27-Sep-12 13:54:27

Grrr in the hospital waiting for a growth scan, first one here for this afternoons clinic with earliest appointment but loads of people being called in before me. I have to Go back to work as is my last day! It really is frustrating, they wouldn't like it if I was late.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Thu 27-Sep-12 14:09:55

I've just tried to pack mine and babys bag for the hospital. Tried being the operative word. Mine won't close and baby's is only just shut. I don't feel like o have overpacked but think I may need to minimise and just get DH to bring the rest in once baby is out!

GTbaby Thu 27-Sep-12 14:12:27

Pedicure not as relaxing as I'd wished. Pelvis hurts sad. Oh well, no pain no gain.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Thu 27-Sep-12 14:14:06

Thanks blonderthanred, good to hear from that perspective.

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 27-Sep-12 14:14:21

Of course once I start getting into the thread I get called . Typical. Anyway I saw No Names face!!

She thinks is about 5lbs now, so if we base it on 1/2lb a week that makes it around the 8lb mark at 40 weeks, with any luck, let's hope the head measurement comes back ok.

I now have to hang out in antenatal to see the consultant.

horseylady Thu 27-Sep-12 14:16:23

Madame - I went out recently with a couple who are ttc. Obv they know were pregnant but I felt the female was very off towards me. It took us 4 years to create this little one, but because we never went on about it, I think they feel we've cheated them.

To be fair, I got fed up of hearing people's wonderful news, but hey! Thats life, there will always be things others have that you don't. I'm not convinced removing yourself from people is the way forward as there will be a time (hopefully!) that you will be in that sututation and need people around you who have been through it.

Infertility must be horrendous, ESP if that's all you want from life. We never made it a life goal, we've never really had a life plan as you can guarantee something, somewhere will mess it up.

I'm not really sure how to suggest handling your friend, apart from with sensitivity. Just remember the problem stems from her- not you xx

Finally caught up on the threads.

Consultant and scan appointment went fine yesterday after all. It seems this baby is going to be a bit of a porker shockwink
From the scan and measurements it's currently measuring 4lb 10.5ounce, at 31+5 weeks! Its growing on the 90th percentile so if it carries on the same it's looking at 9lb 5oz at 40weeks! shock
I was thinking it would be a little thing seeing as I haven't put much weight on and my bump, although big, is all on the front with no weight elsewhere. Now it looks like it's going to be a big one grin I'm definitely swaying towards it being a boy.
The consultant said I can go the MLU which is good. They've booked me an appointment for when i'll be 39+5 so induction won't be discussed until then, which is good. I'm hoping the big measurements will mean i'll already have had it by then anyway smile

Had my 31 week midwife appointment last Friday, she looked at my blood results from 28 weeks and my iron was low. Nobody had rung me, the results had just been filed. She's prescribed me iron tablets but I should have been on them 2.5 weeks earlier angry Looked at all the symptoms for iron deficient anaemia and no wonder I've been feeling like absolute crap, it explains the tiredness, weakness, palpitations and lots of other things. Just waiting for them to kick in now so I can feel less dead smile

I went shoppng to Meadowhall with DH and DSis yesterday afternoon, I think that was a mistake. By the time i'd got home my pelvis and pubic bone were hurting so much after being on my feet for so long. I was in agony last night and today i'm not feeling great so I've used a days holiday and spending the day lazing and watching tv.
I've got tomorrow down as holiday but may go in depending on how I feel. I finish 3 weeks today but with days off i've got planned I only have 10 full days and 2 half days to work grin

Oh, huge congratulations to Daisy on the birth of Huey!

I wonder which one of us will be next?

I can't imagine what it must be like to ttc for years and nothing happening. It took us a year to conceive this baby and meanwhile I knew several women who had fallen pregnant by accident and it was heartbreaking. Outwards I would be happy for them and congratulate them but then go home and cry myself to sleep. Thinking about it now I feel quite guilty for moaning about feeling bloated etc when this is what I've wanted for so long and what so many women want but can't have. We need to count our blessings. Just let your friend know you are there for her whenever she feels ready to talk.

So upset this afternoon and trying to hide it at work. I mentioned a while ago about my cousin who has leukaemia. Before he got it he had fallen in with the wrong crowd and got heavily into drugs. There's now reason to suspect that he's using again sad I don't pass any judgement on him because I can't even begin to imagine what he's going through but if it's true then it won't be long before he ends up dead. I don't see how his body can cope with the cancer, chemo and drugs on top of it. Gutted.

I can't imagine what it must be like to ttc for years and nothing happening. It took us a year to conceive this baby and meanwhile I knew several women who had fallen pregnant by accident and it was heartbreaking. Outwards I would be happy for them and congratulate them but then go home and cry myself to sleep. Thinking about it now I feel quite guilty for moaning about feeling bloated etc when this is what I've wanted for so long and what so many women want but can't have. We need to count our blessings. Just let your friend know you are there for her whenever she feels ready to talk.

So upset this afternoon and trying to hide it at work. I mentioned a while ago about my cousin who has leukaemia. Before he got it he had fallen in with the wrong crowd and got heavily into drugs. There's now reason to suspect that he's using again sad I don't pass any judgement on him because I can't even begin to imagine what he's going through but if it's true then it won't be long before he ends up dead. I don't see how his body can cope with the cancer, chemo and drugs on top of it. Gutted.

Dixiebell Thu 27-Sep-12 14:53:31

Izzy, there could be lots of moving around the hospital to different rooms, so def pack another bag to leave in car and get DH to bring it up once you're settled in antenatal ward!

Tits, could shakes be low blood sugar/hunger? Or perhaps low blood pressure? Hope they go away soon, but in meantime have a biscuit biscuit. Also, funny you should mention your DS's stutter, I was going to ask people on here what experience they have of them. My DS is 2 next week, he has been a good speaker since he started, what a year ago? And been talking in very fluent long sentences for the last few months. Just last week, literally overnight, he suddenly started stuttering. DH and I both noticed it separately. It's not lots, but seems to be more so on certain letters at the start of words, so he's saying things like 'mmmmmmmmy tractor' 'i'm going to h h h h hide'. And the other day he literally couldn't get out any words beginning with the sound 'a'. So we were talking about his friend Adam, and he was saying 'I play trucks with um, um um, um' and also i gave him some apple and he could only say 'i like um um um um', then just gave up trying to say it altogether, so the sentence went 'I like um don't I?'. We were walking home from CM at the time of talking about Adam, and he stopped and sort of stood on the spot really trying to get the word out, bending his knees and concentrating really hard. It was sad to watch. Once he got really frustrated and kind of shook his head like he couldn't understand what was happening. So I just wondered if anyone has experience of this, and what sort of age it started? He seems so young, I'm hoping it's just a development thing maybe, his brain is faster than his mouth, but it seems strange that literally the day before he could say all these words no problem.

DS has always had a stammer, he tends to either struggle on the first letter/sound of a word or occasionally he'll elongate the first sound rather than rapid repeat, so rather than "mmmmmmum" we'll get "mhuuuuuum" iyswim?

We've seen a speech therapist and tbh at 2 you won't need to worry at all about that as most children grow out of it quickly. DS's is though to have been brought on by his twunt of a father family issues and the various problem associated, so really any big changes, upset etc.
the key is to ignore it, don't give it a name or try to finish sentences for him, just be patient and let him finish what he is saying.
The other key thing is not to ask questions so he doesn't feel like he's being asked to perform.
Rephrasing things is the best way so rather than - "Hi DS, what did you do at school today?" This becomes "hi DS, Mummy has has such a fun/boring day, I've done x,y,z" this is Supposed to encourage them to volunteer information and to choose to talk rather than feel they have too.

I hope that helps a bit, my DS's was almost gone after a month of doing the above but since going back to school it's really started up again.

Of course if you're still worried you can speak to a hv or a Nursey teacher. smile

Dixiebell Thu 27-Sep-12 15:15:13

Thanks Tits, I think I'll give it a couple of weeks and see what happens, whether it gets any worse. I do ask him lots of questions, thinking it's good to encourage talking, at not yet two he's not really likely to volunteer info like what he's done during the day! But will try and be aware of not doing that too much. Also read to slow down my own speech so will try that too. Hopefully it'll go as suddenly as it came, but it was a bit of a shock when he woke up one day and suddenly couldn't say things he could say easily before! Hoping that the prospect of a new baby is not disturbing him more than we've perceived too, but I really don't think he understands what it means that mummy has a baby in her tummy.

NervousAt20 Thu 27-Sep-12 15:32:04

Very nice to hear from you daisy hope they get your medication under control soon and Hugey is a lovely name

Been into town and feeling abit worse for wear now, haven't felt LO move today so just sitting down with a cold drink and hoping she'll have a wiggle

horseylady Thu 27-Sep-12 16:08:12

Aibu? Theres a leaving do next fri for five members of staff including myself. I work in a supporting department to the main one but get on with all in the bigger department. I asked what was happening about s leaving do as there were several people leaving together and it was agreed to do a big joint one next Friday as it was a hood date for numerous reasons. Now it's a buffet thing where they've had leaving dos before etc. I've not been.

Now a few staff in my department couldn't make that for numerous reasons so I said we'd go for a drink and a quick bit a week Tuesday to get together just in the pub. Straight after work nothing formal just a team outing for me going but coming back? I've kept it to the team I work in as it's small and easy, plus there's the big leaving do for the three who are leaving and the two of us going on mat leave. One of the staff organising it has just a right go at me about having two and reducing numbers? I only did it as some couldnt make the Friday in my team so it seemed fair! Plus we have a lot of new staff on our small team who wouldn't go to the big meal out.

I feel bad that I'm having two leaving dos ESP after asking what the others were planning but my team going out is more important to me than the two departments? I will add that when the others leave they will go after work for a drink which I don't think is any different to what I'm doing IMO!! I just iffy ally termed it a leaving but coming back do..... I don't know what to say!!

I've just been back to bed for an hour! But now I really need to do something, we've got a family party to go to this evening. Going to run a bath and hopefully find some energy from somewhere.

Can anyone recommend anything to give me a boost? A cup of sugary tea? Fruit juice? Dynamite up the bum? I'll try anything wink

ShellyBobbs Thu 27-Sep-12 16:19:34

Ukulele ordered and paid for grin (so is the guitar).

ShellyBobbs Thu 27-Sep-12 16:21:47

Horsey Tell her to keep her trout out and the drinks things is just for friends so obviously she's not invited.

horseylady Thu 27-Sep-12 16:29:21

Shelly smile

NervousAt20 Thu 27-Sep-12 17:19:12

No horsey I don't think it's you BU, take shellys advice grin

TheDetective Thu 27-Sep-12 17:27:29

Horsey, it is your leaving, so it is up to you what you do. Tell her to keep her beak out!

Kissyfur It is this one! The other one was this one, I played around with both, and got the one that would be more useful to me! Both were equally gorgeous! It's just that this one is more suited to the swinging chair/bouncer as you can thread the straps through. The other one is more for the cot/moses basket as no holes for straps, but you could easily do it yourself. I'm not using mine in the pram, maybe the car seat at first, but the liner for the pram is comfy enough! I did try it in the moses basket, and it looks fab too, so best of both worlds!

I'm off to another high school open evening tonight, of my preferred school. Then I have a 10.5 hour night shift straight after... booo!

All I really want to do is sleep! Zzzzz!

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