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TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD(994 Posts)
I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.
Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.
<lays out some freshly baked goodies to tempt people in>
Princess - I've also been doing a 'labour playlist' this week - my DH made one up for me the last time, which was cool, but this time I had a few tunes in my head I wanted so I sent him a list (which he then added to) will probably delete a few of the ones he's added, but some I'll keep :-)
I'm not really going for the 'relaxing' soundtrack though, more hi energy and singalongy (the midwives are just going to have to cope with my appallling singing like they did last time :-D
Would love the idea of a homebirth though (sadly too high risk) are you going to hire a birthing pool?
I feel absolutely rubbish today. Spent all of last week nursing poor DS who picked up an awful cold/cough, whilst praying that i wouldn't catch it (I normally (outside of pregnancy) have a really good immune system and am rarely ill) but this week it started creeping up on me, and last night it hit me! I have sore eyes, ears, throat, horrible painful hacking cough and congestion, and of course my heartburn is almost constant which isn't helping matters. I feel appalling bad - and quite frankly a couple of paracetamols every 4 hours isn't having any impact on the pain/discomfort at all.
I urge you all to keep away from the germ-laden as much as you can during pregnancy - having a cold when you can't drown yourself in good drugs is awful (I thought I'd already had my quote this pregnancy when I had a bad cold at 11 weeks, but clearly the gods have decided I need to suffer more!)
I'm 30 weeks pregnant this week (3/4 of the way there :-) and have an appointment to get my whooping cough jag tommorow. Have heard of lots of women having painful local reactions to it, so just keeping my fingers crossed I won't be one of them (last thing I want right now!)
I have 5 weeks of work left (well, if you ignore tommorow, which I do, as I'm off ill just now) until maternity leave starts and have a feeling the last few weeks might just fly by.
Art love your conversation with Mr A about mothers day - definitely a romantic at heart :-) One thing I hadn't really thought about is that, as well as your bump giving you a mothers day card in the future (when they arrive) they will also be sending cards to grannies/cousins/aunties etc for birthdays (long before they're capable of writing!) had to keep reminding myself that family members would expect a card from DS on his own, and I couldn't get away with just adding his name to our cards!
heart you've reminded me that I've not actually listened to my natal hypnotherapy CD at all yet (although i have read the book) really need to get it out and give it a go - have you listened to it yet? If so, how did you find it?
I hope you're all doing well (and not immersed in the lurgy like me!)
Lots of waves to anyone I've not name-checked!
Morning Ladies. Been rather off the radar recently. We had the 20wk scan this week, well, wk19 apparently so they are sticking to 13 August as due date. Got quite a wriggler here, and somewhat stubborn because it was hiding from the sonographer and it's Daddy.
Found a couple of hypnobirthing practitioners here and am that MrTeu is agreeing. He is usually resolutely anti anything woo. I think he is feeling very unnerved by us being half way in something that he wasn't that fussed about. Not helped by me having awful second thoughts, I guess I'm just scared, but I really didn't think we'd get this far. To my surprise I'm definitely not one of those that enjoys being preggo and revels in the whole 'womanliness' of it. I find it disturbing on a daily basis, feel horribly ungrateful for this wonderful blessing and really don't understand why everyone else is so excited. I have no inclination to look at any kit and the next 20+ years terrify me. I'm sure it's all normal
Sorry for the splurge.
Hope eleth is feeling a bit better.
Waves to everyone, hope you are all well.
Hope everyone is well. Princess at the return of morning sickness, that's supposed to be over by now!
Princess, birthing ball? I have yet to encounter one of those beasts, how do they work? . Really glad the hypnobirthing is going well. I can definitely see the appeal of a home birth but I think on balance I'd be too anxious. I guess much depends on having good midwife support and ours seem hopelessly overstretched. Hang in there with the house. You'll get there and it will be worth all the stress
Heart thanks for the recommendation for itching. It's eased off a bit this week but I will definitely go to the doctor if it starts again. It might have been down to a growth phase - my bump suddenly popped out last week, seemingly overnight, at bang on 19 weeks just as you said yours did. I wonder if the itching was my skin protesting at having to stretch!
Given that it's getting difficult to hide, I've had to get on with coming out of the closet. All my main work contacts know now, I've only had one negative response, and even she came round after an hour or so and managed to say congratulations as though she meant it. My mum has had a field day telling family. So I am getting a bit more used to the idea of being an 'out' preggo. We had the 20 week scan this week too, at 19+5, it was reassuring to see the baby disco dancing as I haven't felt it yet bar one episode of fluttering about four days ago. It was a major relief to find that everything was 'as expected'. Going to try to curb my anxieties now and stay in a more positive frame of mind.
Ele hurrah for the last few weeks of work! sorry to hear you've been ill. I've also had a cold and chest infection I just can't shake, it's been lingering for weeks now. Doesn't pregnancy bugger up your immune system? I guess with a young child you'll be even more exposed to all those lovely germs. I'd not even thought about labour playlists, will probably quite enjoy doing that. It may lead to disagreement though. I told Mr A that the baby can probably hear by now so he's decided it's never too early to start its musical education and went to get his Black Sabbath records just as I reached for my ukulele
Mellow hope you're settling into the new home nicely. Beryl, how is the wedding planning going? Exciting times
Teu I'm sure those feelings are completely normal. I'm also finding the physical changes weird rather than celebratory and I'm not excited either. Everyone else seems to be and I just sit in the middle of it and wonder why I'm the only one that can't join in. My mum is beside herself, I'm finding her quite difficult as she seems to think there is something wrong with me for not wanting to talk about it all the time... I also have a friend who is mega excited and threatening me with a baby shower even though i have told her repeatedly I would rather gouge my own eyes out with a rusty spoon than put myself and any of my friends through that. I think I'm past my 'what have we done' type wobbles (not sure Mr A is ) and am looking forward to August but not in a bouncing-off-the-walls excited kind of way. I don't want to shop for baby things. I am mostly concentrating on trying to get my work done which is pretty much the normal state of affairs for me, just with a fatter belly than before .
Speaking of not wanting to buy things, can anyone offer advice on how to deal with in-laws who want to inundate us with
a load of crap baby stuff they keep finding in charity shops and cheap discount stores? When we first told them they said we should just ask them if we needed anything. My mum said the same - I asked her not to buy us anything for the baby yet because we want to wait until later then spend some time researching and deciding what we need. It's going to be our only child, we're the ones that are going to be using this stuff day in day out, and i want to have things we have chosen and that we like. Except since then I have had several calls from the ILs along the lines of 'We found this high chair in Aldi, it's the last one in the sale so we're getting it for you', to which I reply 'well I'd like to see it first, and we won't need one for a long time so please don't' but they ignore me and buy it anyway... More alarmingly there is a cot that the daughter of some random neighbour down the road doesn't need any more complete with used mattress - frankly, UGH - and God knows what other stuff they have been picking up from charity shops and the like that I hear about via garbled texts to Mr A. Their house is absolutely chock-full of random useless crap and I dread them turning up with a carload of the same. I don't know how to stop them and he will not have a conversation with his parents about anything, never mind this. Any advice? They are used to buying things for their daughter who is bringing up 4 under-fives on benefits (the Daily Mail would have a field day) but we are not in that position and I don't know how to explain my feelings tactfully. Aside from anything else I don't want them wasting money on things we don't want and might not ever need. Am I just being a horrible middle class snob?!
Better go, I've written far too much again and have a big report to be getting on with. Hope you are all wrapped up against the cold and staying indoors - we have quite a bit of snow here today so I'm thankful I don't have to try to drive anywhere, the furthest I might go today is the swimming pool down the road.
Love and waves to all
Well I've had badd-ish news for the first time in the pregnancy. I had my glucose test results back yesterday and they are slightly elevated, so I have to go back for a more controlled test on Tuesday (god knows why the test isn't properly controlled in the first place). So I had a big wail yesterday as I stupidly googled gestational diabetes and freaked myself out. Turns out if it's something I have developed (and I wouldn't be surprised as it turns out to be a hormone linked thing - and my hormones are notoriously wonky) it can be controlled with strict diet and exercise. So I'll be back on some sort of no sugar, brown diet once again. At least I'm well practiced. The buggar is the extra monitoring - it will not help with my anxiety levels and I'll just have to hypn-breathe through it. It just seems so unfair as I have for the main part I've been eating really really healthily and taking good care of myself with the only very occasional treat thrown in
plus Mum has send the most gorgeous lemon easter cake, which I now can't have. Harumph. It's also made me wobble about the possibility of producing a super sized baby, having to have a caesarian and not being able to breast feed. I kind of thought what with all those years of TTC behind me and bad morning sickness aside, I'd at least be able to have a smooth pregnancy and birth. I hate the way I fly off the handle bar and I'm trying to be calm but it is worrying me.
Artemis I feel your pain. MIL regularly comes into my office area to tell me that she has found things such as a £10 moses basket in the Sally Army, which is in perfect condition, is very cute and would she like me to buy it next time she's in the village. Well, this is how I dealt with it. "Thank you very much MIL. However, I've found an organic moses basket that comes with the mattress and bedding. As I'm desperate to have a non toxic matress that doesn't contribute to allergies the baby may have (MIL's family are prone to horrific allergies) it actually works out cheaper to buy the basket, mattress and bedding bundle than just ordering the mattress. If I had the cheap basket I would have to order a bespoke mattress and they are lots more - so it would end up more expensive" At this point MIL looked and said, well it sounds like you have it under control. Yes, I do. I don't want my baby in a charity shop bed! I wouldn't expect them to buy their mattress from a charity shop! And I say this as someone who is happy to up-cycle furniture and nik naks from charity shops, just not key baby items. The problem we have is that they listen into our conversations and there have been a few about costs on the house mounting. It's tricky not to offend though. I've gently snubbed a few things already, so they've kinda stopped mentioning to me and go via Mr P, who then say's, "ooh, I'll run it past management" and nothing more is said. The other thing to remember is that all cots and beds should have a new mattress per child. So you could always pull the "oh it's easier for us to buy a new cot and mattress together". I think my PILs see me as a snob anyway, there are regular side swipes about our 'organic' posh foods.
Teu Enjoy the hypnobirthing. The founding principles of it are not woo at all. It's just about releasing fear so that your body can create the right hormones to enable your muscles to do what they need to do. If you stop producing the birthing hormones and get scared, you go into fight or flight, adrenalin takes over, your body tenses up and sends blood to vital muscles for fleeing and away from the uterus, which then clamps up because your body is telling it that it's not safe to give birth and the whole process can become very painful. But keeping relaxed and calm and learning to encourage the release of endorphins and feelings of safety, the idea is that your uterus can work to open up your cervix easily and the baby can move down and out easily. The methods to relax can be a bit woo, but you can take from it what you will. And you will find something in there that works for you. There are 3 distinct breathing techniques to learn. I'm finding a couple quite challenging but practicing every day. I've watched several hypnobirths now and the overriding impression is that the birthing mum seems really in control and not at all in pain, there is no screaming or red facedness or eyes clamped shut or squeezing, pushing, panting etc and the babies seem to pop out easily and come out really calm. The stuff for the birthing partner is also fab and Mr P feels really ready for it all and has lots of things that he knows he is in control of - such as dealing with medical staff, helping me with breathing and knowing what our birthing preferences are so that I can relax and let my body get on and he can deal with any admin type matters. It's been a massive education for both of us and I'm really pleased we've done it. For example, I had no idea that the ideal way for a baby to come out was face down. I always imagined that they came out face up. This is just one small thing I've learned during class! Oh and a birthing ball is just a big gym ball, which helps your posture and position you correctly so that the baby hopefully gets into the correct position.
Ele hope your flu jab wasn't painful today. 5 weeks left woo hoo! Sorry you feel poorly. After much deliberation and with the possibly GD scare, we've decided that we'll go to hospital, but we'll leave it as late as we can (unless I need a caesarian). We watched a hypnobirth in a birthing pool at a hospital this week and it was really calm. I also spoke to my friend who recently had her baby at home and because she didn't appear to be in any sort of pain, the midwife came and then went without examining her and a couple of hours later, she was in the last part of the second stage and they had to call an ambulance because the midwives couldn't get back soon enough. She ended up with a third degree tear because she panicked at the end and because she only had paramedics to help. She also said that when she was in hospital (2 days for the tear) the midwives were much more helpful with establishing breast feeding and that it was a really nice atmosphere and not at all like regular hospital. I'm glad that I've got friends who've been through it because it has made me feel like hospital birth isn't the terrifying medicalised thing that I thought it would be. Plus I may need extra monitoring and I have to put baby first. Maybe next time (if I'm not a GD mum) I'll see how I feel about homebirth.
Right, that was rather epic! Hope you all have nice Friday's and lovely weekends. I'm off on Monday for Mr P's birthday, so I'm hoping today goes quickly! And I'm staying away from googling medical things and focusing on buying stuff for the house (and baby)!
Luffs to you all xxx
Great to see how you're all doing.
I'm still feeling spectacularly awful, and had phoned my GP practice this morning to see if could still get the whooping cough jab if I had a bad cold, and they said not to bother coming in and have rescheduled it for next week - which I'm really pleased about as the weather outside is cold and wet and I really didn't fancy the walk!
art - sympathies with the in-laws. It's a shame Mr A won't speak to them as I think the best way to deal with inlaws is for their biological offspring to have all the hard conversations as they take it a lot better than from their daughter-in-laws.
With DS (who we also thougth was going to be our only child) we also wanted to buy things ourselves, so Mr E told his in-laws we didn't need anything at that point and that we could buy it ourselves. Later on when they were desperate to buy something, we said we could do with some cot sheets so they bought them instead. The bottom line is, there's no point them offloading crap to you as you'll just ditch it. You might want to play on the 'this is our only child' line and you want to research and plan and buy stuff, and if they want to contribute you can make suggestions for them to get you, but you want to be choosing it - and you don't want to be rushed into making decisions about high chairs when your baby hasn't even been born (grandparents go mad about babies - don't really understand it!)
We borrowed a moses basket off of one of Mr E's cousins (at his mums suggestion) but I was happy to do that, as they're only in moses baskets for a few months, and we bought our own matress for it and MIL washed it all for us, so I had no concerns about cleanliness or germs. We're actually borrowing it again this time.
Sometimes you just have to be harsh and spell things out - noses might get put out of joint in the short term, but anyone will understand how you want to buy stuff for your own baby.
Teu i agree with Art and I think the feelings you have are perfectly normal. I was plagued with doubts with DS about what kind of a parent I was going to be, I was never maternal beforehand and never oohed or aahed over babies. Fortunately, I knew Mr E was going to be a natural and we discussed how if I was really shite, he'd have to step up! I also don't really enjoy pregnancy (with both pregnancies I had extended morning sickness, constipation, piles, bad colds and felt crap). I mean, I love feeling the baby kick, but it is odd when your body is overaken by an alien, so I think it's perfectly natural. What I would say, is despite all of the above, the moment I first clapped eyes on DS I did the textbook thing of immediately falling in love with him and all those worries and doubts and fears just melted away. Pregnancy is a huge big scary thing and I think its healthy to acknowledge those fears and know that deep down, a lot of your fears are shared with other first time mums, you're not alone.
princess sorry about the GD scare. But at the moment it's just a scare you wont' know until you do the full on glucose test so try not to worry about what it might mean just now, because if you do end up with GD you'll have plenty of time to worry about it then (if you know what I mean!)
If it's any consolation, I'm on another site where a lot of women either have diabetes or GD and they're all doing absolutely fine. GD can lead to a big birthweight baby, but not always, and if you do have it, you'll get lots of growth scans (which totally breaks up the last 20 weeks) and extra support which is a good thing, you know they're monitoring your baby and I think that's reassuring. Even if you end up with a section (which could happen to any of us) you can still breastfeed, babies still have a suck reflex and you can still get 'skin to skin' contact as soon as the baby is born.
I had a 'hospitalised' birth with DS as I had severe pre-eclampsia and whilst it goes against all the stuff you learn about in hynobirthing, the support you get afterwards from midwives was great and I didn't have any issues getting breastfeeding started and don't have any complaints about my stay in the post-natal ward.
This time round (given that I wouldnt' be surprised if I get pre-eclampsia again) I'm preparing myself for another hospitalised 'drip' induction, but I aim to go into it with a lot more positivity. My bottom line is that while a watery, lovely hippy birth would be my ideal, as long as I get a healthy live baby, they can (quite frankly) do what they want to me :-D
Right, took the paracetamol an hour ago and still no improvement (I think I've got the placebos reported in the news this week!)
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Thanks for the pep talk ladies. Eleth MrTeu is the natural too. I'm avaoiding cuddles with all the newborns I know in case they scream and it taps into my inadequacy fears.
princess If it helps a friend of mine developed GD, had a CS for medical reasons and breastfed from the get go, you are in good hands. Hope the sickness is abating too. Thanks for the run down on the hypnobirthing. Sounds really good. I watched the One born every minute series and there was a couple, both hairdressers
cue judgemental attitudes who must have done hypno, I was really impressed with how she birthed. Totally altered my attitude to them. Now who sounds like a snob?!
Artemis You are not being a snob. There are somethings that are nicer bought new. Our prospective grandparents have been really good, and both sets have suggested chipping in on the big ticket items like a pushchair/pram when we make a decision on what we want. Perhaps you could take that track, 'we really appreciate that you want to help us kit out, perhaps you'd like to help towards X.'
waves, hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.
Teu I think we're cut from the same cloth :-)
All my life I've avoided holding babies primarily as they either a) puked on me or b) started crying or c) I had no idea how to hold them and they always made me feel inadequate.
In fact, I remember the week before DS was born, a girl in our antenatal class had had her baby and we all went out for lunch to meet up with them. Everyone there (all the blokes included) all had a 'wee hold' of the baby apart from me, all i could think was:
What if I drop it?
What if it cries?
What if I don't support it properly and it flops about?
Is there really one of them inside my belly????
Going home that day, I remember telling all my fears to Mr E who kindly pointed out that it was really a bit late now to be worrying about it, and it would be fine as he would be there and was willing to do whatever it took (this made me feel so so much better at the time - as even though I knew he was there, it was so reassuring to hear him spell it out to me)
Just wanted to say that even a dysfunctional like me, still managed to eek out some kind of maternal instinct when I needed to :-D
Thanks everyone for the advice on coping with the in-laws. They've been quiet lately, I'm bracing myself for the next call and rehearsing my speech in my head - thanking them for the generous thought but asking if they'd put the money aside instead until we've decided what we want. Mr A raised a sceptical eyebrow but fingers crossed. Seriously, their house is like a 1970s public information safety in the home advert. They actually store stuff on the stairs. When I get to the point I can't see my feet I'm going to have to get Mr A to clear me a path to the bathroom whenever we go round there
Princess, how did your glucose test go today? I hope you had better news and that the previous one was just a blip. I'm sure you won't have GD, you surely can't be in the high risk bracket, but whatever they say you are still doing the best you can to manage the situation by practicing the hypno techniques and I'm sure that will help you deal with any anxieties. And your iron willpower is well practiced at the diet thing - I'm sure if you do still have elevated glucose you're more than capable of controlling it that way. Eleth is right, any one of us could end up having a section irrespective of GD or not, and even if you do there is no reason why it should interfere with breastfeeding unless there are other complications. Do let us know how you got on today and I'm keeping everything crossed it's all fine.
Teu I still can't watch OBEM. Even the trailers make me break out in a cold sweat. There seem to be a lot of 'having babies' programmes on at the moment. I'm in denial. I'm still not showing very much, I cannot imagine ever being the size of the women you see at 40wks
Eleth your reaction to babies exactly describes me too... maybe that's why I've left it until I'm nearly 40 to have one of my own . Every baby I've ever met has either dumped its lunch down me or started wailing the second I clapped eyes on it so I have learnt to avoid. I'm already worrying about whether I'll be able to cope with a newborn simply from a practical point of view of holding it the right way up, not dropping/breaking it and knowing what to do when it cries (which I imagine to be ALL THE TIME)... Mr E was right though, too late now! I'm glad it's not just me . How are you feeling now - any better? I've not fancied going out much in the rotten weather, I'm rubbish enough in snow and ice even without having my centre of gravity disturbed, so I hope it's not too bad where you are. Have you gone into work at all or just started your ML a few days early?
All fine here I think. I'm trying not to get
any more anxious about not feeling any movement. I felt some fluttering last Monday but baby has been silent since then. It was a relief to see it wriggling away on the screen a few days later and I have to keep reminding myself that just because I can't feel it yet doesn't mean it's not there. My bump seems to fluctuate too, some days it's quite obvious but others you still wouldn't know I'm pregnant not sure if that is related to how much cake I've eaten on any given day. From anxious googling it seems 21 weeks is not unusual to not be feeling much with a first baby - hope so anyway. I daresay I'll be nostalgic for the peace in a few months when I have a foot kicking my bladder and an elbow jammed in my ribs!
Best be off, I'm meant to be working - I hate financial year end, I am up to my eyes in reports and it looks like being a long week. Hope to have the Monday bank holiday though, and then it's only another 4 days until a week off .
Waves and 10+ style tail feather shakes to everyone, hope you're all OK.
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Well, after feeling rubbish over the weekend I went to the docs on Monday and was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics. So, been off work this week struggling on with the chest infection and the cold (blocked sinuses being by far the worst bit!). I feel things are improving (and I'm managing some sleep now) but slowly and I'm cursing my crappy pregnancy immune system most days!.
On the bright side, it means that when I go back to work on Tuesday I'll only have 4 weeks work left (which works out at about 15 days of work when you take off booked leave and maternity appointments). So, that's made things seem a whole lot closer (which also brings the 'business end' a bit closer, but like Art was doing earlier on, I'm a bit 'la la la - can't hear you' about that at the moment :-D.
Worst thing about this ailment is that it seems to have brought back a bit of the nausea (I sympathise with you princess) and can't really drink that much water again (which is rubbish) and my heartburn has been horrendous - I'm having to hold back from guzzling a half litre bottle of gaviscon a week (trying to eek it out to 12 days before getting renewals from chemist so it doesn't look like I'm selling it on or anything!)
Art re movcement - I remember not getting much movements at about 21 weeks and being surprised as I thought I would feel them earlier this time (so they say). At my 20 wk scan, the sonographer had said, oh you'll be feeling him/her move a lot now - and I was like, no, not really - and she looked surprised, saying the placenta was out the way and the baby was in a good position (and was active during the scan). Anyway, it was probably a good few weeks after that before I felt it move regularly. Right now (at week 31) it's squiggling about quite a bit and have had a few hiccuping sessions recently too :-)
heart I think at 30 weeks I'd weighed myself and I'd put on 1 1/2 stone - so 1 stone at 28 weeks sounds fine (mind you, I always think I'm not going to worry about weight in pregnancy - rest of my life to work it off!) and it sounds like its all bump! I've not got any stretch marks yet (I will get them, got them overnight at £35 weeks last time) but I keep thinking (and Mr E keeps saying) my tummy is going to get bigger but how??? (surely there's no more room in there???)
Sadly, due to cold I have very little sense of taste/smell just now so can't really enjoy chocolate or cake so looks like a miserable easter ahead for me :-(
Hope you're all doing well!
Hello all - and sorry for silence - moving countries and houses and going back to London commuting and job has been a bit hectic.
Sorry to hear about colds and possible GD- any news princess from second screen?
ele only 4 weeks left at work - what bliss! I still have 14 to go - am planning on working until 38 - am meeting HR next week to work it all out..
I got a cold yesterday and was in work from 8am til 11pm and feel utterly miserable today. I have a meeting from 3-5pm then am supposed to be meeting some friends for a drink but am distinctly un-enthused at the prospect - I just want to go home and catch up on masterchef from this week [saddo!]
All good from a pregnancy perspective - lots of kicks and feel quite well. Well I feel huge but people say that I'm compact - I'm 24 weeks now and definitely look pregnant - I guess it is all relative!
heart a stone sounds like very sensible weight gain - I've put on 6kg since I got pregnant - but 4 of those were in the first 12 weeks and then it stabilised - almost the opposite to the trend on the graphs you see! but with the end result I'm the 'right' weight given my pre-pregnancy weight. I have now stopped running after a run last Friday (which I enjoyed and felt find during) - but all Friday evening and Saturday day had a dragging feeling under my bump and thought - well, thats probably my pelvic floor, lets call it a day - so just pilates now and working up to swimming - but it is just so cold!
The names thing is funny isn't it - we have a few we like, but don't think we're taking it very seriously at all yet. It feels like a huge responsibility.
art my in-laws are the same about buying crap. My MIL (who I am very fond of, but not her taste ) offered to keep an eye out for stuff - so I've told her that one of the advantages of being the last of your friends to have babies (which is the truth!) is that you become the recipient of lots of stuff - so we actually won't need to buy much. It is true - so far we've been offered 3 moses baskets, 3 slings, a baby monitor, a cot, baby bath and have all the clothes we'll need from 0-3 months for this child. And 2 packs of newborn nappies (my friend over bought!). Really just have to buy a buggy - and think we might get that on ebay anyway. It is tough - she is the bearer of crap every time she visits - I often say thank you, if it 'doesn't fit' do you mind if I pass it on/give it to Oxfam? She's fine with that and then I give it away. She's supporting her local charity shops (she can afford it) and feels like she's helping - and I maintain our relationship. And occasionally she has found a gem (it is quite a rare event!). My Mum is sadly dead, but I'm sure would be the same(although our tastes were much more in line!), so for me I just like having someone lovely to think of me and try to accept things in that spirit. It would be much trickier if she were to take offence at me not keeping things.
Sorry mammoth post and sure I've missed people, sorry!
On the vein of being worried about being maternal - I've heard that your own baby is different to everyone elses - so even if you've not been ok with other babies, you'll be fine with your own - lots of hormones peri-partum to help with that as well. And, not everyone falls in love immediately, so don't worry if you don't! I think it is perfectly natural to find this alien exhausting creature a bit of a mystery for a while - and you don't get much interaction for the first few weeks. I have a few friends who said they didn't really feel that overwhelming love until they found their feet and felt like they knew a bit what they were doing and got smiles etc.
I'd better go and do some work!
I cannot believe I'm 30 weeks pregnant after the weekend. This is starting to go far too quickly now! I am soooo not ready. I was actually saying to Mr P how used to being pregnant I am now and how I feel in control of the LO inside and it's a bit scarey that in a matter of weeks they'll be on the outside - eek! I made my first baby purchase yesterday - a nappy bag. Seems random, but because of our limited space at the in laws and dusty house, I figured that if I got the bag I could start getting little bits and pieces for my hospital bag ready and keep them somewhere clean and nice. I'm going to go and buy some cute small things over the weekend as a little Easter treat too.
The bathroom is nearing completion, which means we should be in soon - it could be a mere days away (by mid April at least). With the end in sight I feel a lot less frustrated.
I'm still waiting for my test results. I phoned up the GP this morning to see if they had arrived but they're not on the system yet. After seeing the midwife for my check up on the same day as the GT test, I don't feel so bad as she said based on the results they had back it is highly unlikely that I have GD and if I do, they would only recommend being very strict with my diet. So I have been being very strict with my diet this week (although I'm still eating loads, just loads of brown stuff). All of my other bloods came back fine and my wee test was fine too. We saw yet another midwife, but she was really really lovely and very supportive of home birth too (she even said we were wise - I wasn't expecting that!). So we've booked it. Doesn't mean we have to stay at home if I have a last minute wobble but we can't decide to have a last minute homebirth and guarantee a midwife - IYSWIM? You're all right about birth stuff, I think I was just having a melt down last week - everything just seemed to pile up on me and I couldn't function rationally and just took all of the negative stuff from each thing I was reading / about the house stuff until it created this giant monster of doom. Thank you all for your kind words though and reassurance about breast feeding and caesarians. I guess I just hadn't considered that a caesarian was a real possibility and now I've reconciled that it could be for all manner of different reasons I feel at peace with it. One of the birthing affirmations we do in hypnobirthing is "I am prepared to calmly meet whatever turn my birthing may take". This has become a lot more significant to me in the last week and I'm trying to keep a hold of it because it's probably the thing I struggle with most - keeping calm in the face of adversity...
Sorry to hear that you are still poorly Ele and I hear you on the acid reflux. Oh gawd it's miserable. Mine was terrible last night during yoga. I had that constant burping and burning throat thing going on. Perhaps too much bread? I can't quite put my finger on what does it, but I think bread may be the guilty suspect. I also think I may be going down with a cold as I feel like I'm in a weirdy fog today and I'm super tired. Plus I had very green bogey's this morning. Mr P said that my breathing was heavy and I had a bad cough through the night. I'm hoping that I'm fighting it (hence weirdy fog) and that it doesn't turn into a full blown stinker. Prescription for Gaviscon you say... I didn't know this? Can I just ask the GP and then go to the chemist for the magic chalky tablets and get them for free?
MrsM wow - you are busy! Remember to take it easy too! Easier said than done, I know, but now I'm in the third trimester, I'm just having to follow my body's lead otherwise I suffer with exhaustion big time.
Heart Yes to the huge bump thing! I weighed myself in Feb at about 22(?) weeks and had put on about 10lbs since my 10 week weigh in. I actually didn't feel too bad about it because I weighed a little less than my previous fattest weight on record when I got a bit too into pizza, beer and wine one summer!! As far as I'm concerned my bump is bang on where it should be but I know I've put on a lot of weight since that last weigh in so I'm just believing it's magic bump / baby / water weight and nothing else. Denial / ignorance can be a wonderful thing
plus I'm enjoying lots of cream cheese, full fat milk and peanut butter far too much at the moment and it's bad enough having to give up cake and chocolate and white stuff again
Artemis my friend felt very little movement throughout the pregnancy, even in the last few weeks and her baby is in rude health. I'm glad you are otherwise feeling well. It could just be that your baby has found a comfy place at the back hence why your bump is going up and down and you can't feel too much movement? Didn't LadyG have a check up with reduced movement and they found her baby right at the back and doing all the usual stuff. Glad the in laws have calmed down. I heard murmurings to Mr P about a wicker crib
in the charity shop yesterday. Good god, I couldn't think of anything creepier. Surely that can only be destined to the local primary school for their Xmas play. Surely?!
I'm quite pleased to say that we've decided on our names and that these were picked some time ago (about 4 years ago?!?!?). I really, really love both and I'm just glad that at least one thing in this whole process has been relatively easy! Having lived with both names for such a long time I kind of just know that they are right.
Oh and we've picked the pram at long last and my complaint with British Gas has been resolved and we're getting real money out of the bastards after their cock up at Xmas. It's been a good week
Have a lovely Easter everyone (where are the Easter emoticons???). I'm off to do my rainbow relaxation in bed now.
Quick post just to pick up on the gaviscon question :-)
princess you can get gaviscon on repeat prescription so you can just keep putting in your slip at the chemist :-)
However, I'm always loathe to get appointments with a GP (sometimes imagine its easier trying to get into fort knox!)
So, up here (in scotland) pharmacists run a minor ailments scheme, whereby you go in and if you're pregnant (or under 16 or have a medical exemption certificate etc) you can get your stuff for common ailments free. We we get liquid ibuprofen and paracetamol for DS free, and I did some research and discovered that haemmorhoids and heartburn are also covered. Not taken them up on the stuff for piles yet, but got DH to pop into our local chemist and the chemist came back and gave him a 500ml bottle of gaviscon active for nothing (we'd been paying 6.50 for it at tescos!)
You can only register for common ailments at one pharmacy I think (so choose carefully) and I can't speak for UK-wide provision, but maybe something worth researching?
Means when I need some, I just pop in, fill in a form and get the gaviscon (and given I need so much right now, it's saving me a fortune!)
Princess 30 weeks already. Yikes. Mind you I'm stunned we've hit 20 weeks. Hope you get into the new house soon.
Artemis if it's hiding at the back I don't think you can feel much. I seem to have a wriggler, it's just weird.
So do you ladies have pet names for the interim? MIL was furious when I referred to Critter.
It was called the parasite, particularly when I felt crap. I studied Physiology, it's what it is, and a very successful one. Since critter is derived from creature, which comes form the latin creatura - to create, I don't see what the problem is. Everyone else gets it. Sorry but I just can't refer to 'the baby' or such like yet.
On actual names MrTeu has no ideas, just rules, and seems to be unsure
unimpressed about anything I've short listed so far so I guess at this point it will be nameless.
Seems I may be intolerant to wholemeal, makes me bloated, never had that before. Peppermint tea to ease?
Bit of a ramble. Hope you all have a lovely Easter. The sun is out here and I've had enough sleep so all pretty good.
Waves to all.
Hope everyone is well and had a lovely Easter. I've got my year end work almost out of the way and looking forward to a week off next week.
Eleth how are you doing? Hope the antibiotics have shifted your infection and the heartburn is behaving itself. Have you got any cake/chocolate taste buds back? It would be a shame if not! (though I have probably made up for you with overconsumption ). Thanks very much for the reassurance on movement. I've started to feel a bit more in the last few days but it's still only slight and intermittent - hard to tell what's the baby doing backflips and what's digestive rumblings .
MrsM hope you've shaken your cold off. I'm likely to work up until 38 weeks as well (or even 40 weeks if I don't get ahead of myself soon ). Is your pilates class a special pregnancy one? I had to stop going to mine as most of the exercise seemed to involve lying on your back/front and I just couldn't do it any more. Tried aquafit last week, that was hilarious. You basically just get in the water and flail about (or maybe that's just me!) Not sure it did me any good but have been enjoying swimming, the feeling of weightlessness is really nice.
Princess hurrah for having the end of the house renovation marathon in sight! I am sure once you're in your lovely new home the stress of the last few months will be so worth it. I'm glad you've had some reassurance on the GD question and well done on getting the home birth sorted. It sounds like the best thing to do, keeps your options open for further down the line. And at getting your money back from British Gas!
Heart thanks for the advice on the charity shop junk. I don't think we're being snobby particularly (though the ILs might disagree), but like you we've been saving for far longer than I ever anticipated. While I like a bargain as much as anyone, I don't have to buy the cheapest of everything just for the sake of it. We've had a few things offered by friends and I'm really happy with secondhand if they're good quality and I know they've been looked after but we're trying to only acquire what we need. I didn't anticipate things being this tricky! Thankfully my mum is happy to save for us to choose what we want, the problem there might be after the baby is born - I can see her wanting to be here 24/7 for the first 18 years of its life!
I've got no idea about my weight gain as we don't have scales at home and the midwife hasn't weighted me at any of my appointments after the first one. I suspect it'll be at least a stone. I've got such a sweet tooth at the moment, I made chocolate brownies the other day and can't keep my hand out of the tin. Add to that a reduced level of exercise (I was told not to run or do high impact stuff which is 90% of my normal exercise routine) and I am likely to end up with some excess weight after the birth but am surprisingly not stressing too much about it. I'm wearing maternity clothes in the same size as my pre-preg clothes so I'm assuming I can't have gained too much more than I should. I just loooove my maternity jeans with the lovely comfy stretch band and sexy elasticated waist. I may never wear normal trousers again. I am really enjoying the novelty of not having to worry about whether my stomach's sticking out or whether I might look a bit fat. I never realised how body image conscious i was before but I'm finding not having to think about it a total relief. I am just not thinking about what kind of state my body is going to be left in once the baby's come out!
We haven't talked much about names. We did early on and established we didn't have a great deal of common ground so that question has stayed on the back burner since. We have plenty of ideas for girls' names but we're both struggling for boys. Sod's law it will be a boy and remain nameless for the first week of its life while we try to come up with something that one of us doesn't hate!
On which topic, Teu you asked if the wriggler has a pet name at the moment. The Blob in our case. I am not joking . Mr A nicknamed it after the 9 week scan when it did look exactly like a blob and unfortunately the name has stuck though it obviously doesn't look like a blob any more. I think he was making a deliberate tongue in cheek horror film reference (but he's not allowed to refer to it as The Omen even in jest). We actually got an easter card from my mum addressed to 'Artemis, Mr A and Blob'. I think Critter is entirely appropriate. I am fond of the bump but I struggle to think of it as a baby yet and I find the medical profession's thing of referring to it as Baby (capital B, no the) a bit peculiar.
I had better get back to work. Nearly at the end of my reporting marathon but this one is really dull!
Just a very quick one.
Ele thank you for the info about the minor ailments system. We do have that in the UK, so I can go and get my next batch of gaviscon for free. Woo!
I had my whooping cough jab yesterday and my arm is still sore. It's like someone's been giving me a dead arm every 5 minutes. Ouchy. I also asked the nurse for my GD blood test results: abnormal. So I phoned the midwives this morning for advice and it turns out the stoopid nurse read out the wrong results (despite me asking her to double check) and my readings were in fact perfectly normal. No GD for me, which is a relief.
However, the other bad news we were dealt yesterday is that our house has decided to peel. The plaster has failed and all of the ceilings are shedding their lovely smooth top coat faster than a snake. This has set us right back and we are now in stressful discussions with the plasterer and manufacturer to find out what the hell we do next.... Luckily my parents are moving over soon, so we've decided that if by maternity leave we still can't move in then I'll go and stay with them. Gargh! We should be ok but just having to think through everything as we're only 9 weeks and 4 days away from D Day.
Sorry I haven't got more of a chance to name check today. I'll catch up properly with you all soon.
Luffs all round
Hello ladies and bumps!
I was on the TTC thread ages ago and joined this one when I graduated. I recognise princess chick and euro! Massive congratulations!!
My wee boy arrived on Halloween and is now 22weeks old!! Where does the time go?!
Hello lovely ladies,
Firstly apologies for my long absence - when maternity leave kicked in I tried to stop idling the hours away on the computer and cooked, cleaned and generally nested in prep for baby's arrival.
Hope you're all well. I'll catch up properly soon but just wanted to let you know that baby Beatrice arrived on Good Friday, 2 days after her due date at 8lb 4oz. She's just perfect, we feel so blessed to have her here.
Take care everyone x
Congratulations lady wonderful news and hope you are enjoying getting to know each other.
princess great no GD but sorry to hear about plaster/ hope there is a reasonable and rapid solution- stress you don't really need right now!
I'm finally recovering from my cold thank goodness but have an unattractive Old man cough. My Pilates is a cd for maternity so tailored for us. I have been swimming too which was good. I have exploded in size this week and bump seems enormous and am freaking out just a little bit. I still don't look pregnant from behind and will try to focus on that. I didn't expect to feel so out of control of my body and thought I'd embrace it- and I do like quiet time in evenings or bed cuddling my belly, but when I catch sight of myself out and about can't reconcile the way I look with how I feel. And it is only going to get much bigger!! I started tracking what I eat on myfitnesspal and am having 1800-2000 calories a day which is normal but would really like someone to tell me I'm a normal size. It really doesn't matter, this squirming kicking boy inside is absolutely the most important thing and I love feeling him. And I don't spend much time thinking about size, it is just nice to express it and here seems like a good place!!
We have chosen our buggy and put an alert on eBay for a second hand one. Ideally someone might bring us one from the US where they are much cheaper, but in the absence of a fairy godmother will just hope eBay delivers instead!
14 weeks til term!
OMG - just bought a buggy on ebay - our first purchase! I'm not a huge ebay user so am feeling a bit scared but DH assures me it is safe to buy things online (I know that sounds ridiculous, but I like to touch things!)
Firstly - CONGRATULATIONS Ladygee what lovely, lovely news and a beautiful name to boot Hope you and Babybee are doing well.
MrsM Ooooooh exciting! Which pram have you gone for? I wouldn't worry about ebay as long as you keep it through all of the proper channels it's all good. Glad to hear you are recovering from your flu but boo hiss to chesty coughs. I know what you mean about freaking out! I had a freak out at about 24/25 weeks when I went to try on some new maternity clothes and saw myself in a full length mirror for the first time in a long time - I even had to text Mr P to say "holy crap, you didn't tell me I was this huge!" Since then, I've been getting bigger but it doesn't seem quite as scary. I was a bit yesterday to read on my baby app that updates me on development week by week that baby will not grow much more now but will just bulk up before he's born! It's weird to think I've got a real, nearly full size baby in there now. Even scarier to look at the little clothes I've got for my hospital bag and to think that something "that" size is going to come out - eeek!!! I'm getting quite into buying stuff now. I've got: nappy bag, new toiletries bag, 5 x baby grows, 5 x vests, 3 x hats, big Primark knickers and a cheap nightie for the "main event", breast pads, lansinoh cream and 2 packs of nappies. We got a new car at the weekend, so we'll go and get the car seat in the next few weeks. Buying the baby stuff and starting the bag is definitely taking my mind off the horrible house problems at the moment!
Izzy hello! I remember you from the 10 + thread when I first joined about this time last year Glad to hear you and your LO are doing well. I can't believe where the time goes either - hope the first 6 months of motherhood have been an absolute joy
Artemis well done for clearing your backlog of work and hope you are enjoying your well deserved rest now. Maternity jeans are defo the way forward. I think I'll be in mine long after the baby arrives! Although mine are starting to get a bit on the tight side now. I'm determined not to need any more jeans now as I've only got 9 weeks to go. I'm still crossing fingers for some SPRING sunshine and maybe some comfy
moo moo's a la Homer Simpson dresses and leggings.
Teu I get the most horrific acid reflux if I eat too much bread. Peppermint tea helps a little. However, I find cutting down on bread and replacing with other grains has really helped e.g. whole grain rice cakes, lentils, quinoa etc etc So if I have toast for breakfast I try and have soup / salad or something non-bread for lunch and then rice cakes as a snack mid-afternoon instead of toast / bagel. Or I just have one slice of toast and a very small bowl of cereal / yogurt and fruit / one egg no cheese veggie omelette. Oh and very jealous that you have seen the sun. We are being completely deprived here in the UK of anything remotely spring like. It's another grey, damp and dull day here and I'm still in jeans, jumper and hudding next to a radiator. Brrrr.
Oh and in terms of what we call our baby - we do have a nickname but I don't want to out myself as it's a combination of my name and DH's name in real life and quite a distinctive real person name
still a bit paranoid after the incident on t'other thread. My mum coined it after our 12 week scan when she told us that Seamonkey the Third was no longer appropriate / acceptable. We were to start with but actually it's been really handy for us to have a 'real' name to call the baby as it makes him / her seem more human and part of the family. Although I think people in baby shops are bemused when they hear us do it. We don't do the cutesy voice thing like that awful couple on Miranda - we keep it strictly like we're talking to / about another actual human. He / She also seems to have a personality as well because we talk to him / her A LOT and play with tapping, jiggling, playing music etc and tell him / her off when they are hurting me by sticking their pokey little feet into my ribs. On that subject, the other day they kicked or poked or did something so forcefully that I felt a rib move. I googled this to learn that babies can actually break a rib if they try hard enough . Luckily it doesn't seem to be happening very often so I think I'll come through with ribs intact. Scarey stuff tho! I also have a strip of skin at the top of my bump under my boobs which feels like it's been sunburnt but I think it's just all the stretching that's going on and the pressure of my uterus pushing up in new places. I'll be glad to be able to breathe again normally, I'm a bit like an old lady and have to take rests to catch my breath when I'm doing anything remotely physical.
So, 23 days of work and counting down. I have no replacement. So, I think that my work will be absorbed by the office instead. I'm quite pleased about this as it will give me a bit more flexibility to come back and do my old job, which I reckon I could squeeze into 3 short or 2 full days if I just concentrate on my actual job stuff and not all the other bits and bobs that I'm tasked with around my role.
Right, clients and work calling, must get on with some work
Big luffs and waves to you all xxx
Congratulations Ladygee! Excellent news, I hope you're having a lovely time getting to know each other and just enjoying every moment.
Izzy congratulations to you too! I remember you from the main 10+ thread, so glad all has worked out for you.
Princess it sounds like you've been busy! I can't get my head around the prospect of baby shopping yet but I'm still only just past the half way mark so there is plenty of time. I haven't even worked out what I need. I am a complete novice with baby things. I haven't even bought baby gifts for friends in the last few years, I've bought nice things for mum instead to save the trauma of going into baby shops, so they feel like an alien world. But I'm sure by the time I've got my head around it, it will be fun. I hope your plaster work is getting sorted. Is that the hugely expensive and traumatic to apply lime plaster that caused you so much hassle a few months ago?
MrsM hope you're recovering from the old man cough. I had one of those too and it lingered for ages. Buying a pram feels like a very big deal! Ebay will be fine though. Have you got your hands on it yet? We've been offered one by some friends of Mr A, I just don't know what it's like so we'll need to collect it from them soon-ish in case it isn't suitable. I'm hopeful it will be though, at least at first, it will be one big expense out of the way.
I seem to look either hugely or not very pregnant depending on what I'm wearing. A lot of maternity clothes are still a bit on the big side, I guess they're made to grow into. I'm still preferring the clothes that don't emphasise the bump, I agree MrsM I get a shock sometimes when I look in the mirror because I don't feel the same as I look. I did have an unpleasant changing room moment earlier today trying on a swimsuit. I need one I can actually swim in properly which rules out all the nice tankinis you can get, but the only sensibly priced one-pieces I can find just seem to come in boring black. Not a flattering garment or colour and made me look about 10 times bigger than I do when clothed. I'm going to be doing a super fast dash from the changing room to the poolside from now on but swimming and aquafit are my main exercise now so I need to swallow my vanity and just get on with it.
Hope everyone is doing well and feeling fine. Though I agree Princess, it's about time we had some sunshine!
Hi everyone. Sorry I've not been around recently. Real life
and no sleep getting in the way.
Wanted to say a quick congratulations to lady and izzy. Wonderful news, I hope all is well with you both and you're enjoying all the baby snuggles.
I'll come back and post more soon.
Lovely to hear from you Stacks hope all is going well with little T.
Artemis yes it is the hugely expensive and specialist plaster that has gone tits up. We should have some sort of answer this week. Until then we just have to plough on and hope for the best. I know what you mean about reluctance toward shopping, I've only started in the last couple of weeks, subject to lots of horrified looks from other preggo mum's at yoga class who have decorated and completed nurseries and got everything ready to go go go. I'm an organised bod and even I think they are doing this all too soon. But then again, I am interested in doing other stuff with my life besides shopping, such as reading interesting books, loafing and sort of helping at the house
playing on the internet. There is also the issue of where to store baby stuff for us - in the nursery - oh the one full of dirty tools with plaster hanging off the ceiling, no skirting boards and cracks in the wall - I think we'll wait!
Plenty of time for you to get all your stuff.
And really, how much does a tiny baby actually need? I started this thread ages ago if you want a starting point in a few weeks / months time [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/a1682606-Baby-stuff Baby stuff]
Oh and I didn't start to fill my maternity stuff until 24ish weeks and even now there is still bags of room in everything but the skinny jeans.
Waves to all. I'm not in the mood for working today, although I really must be cracking on. I feel a bit restless and hungry and hot and my throat is a bit itchy today too. I hope this isn't a bug of some description. I'm hoping that I'm a bit over tired and wired from all of the house stuff and that a sleep at lunch will see me right!
Hope all is well Stacks and the enjoyment continues to outweigh the lack of sleep
Princess I can't believe the hassle you've gone through with that plaster... hope you get some answers and that it doesn't hold up progress with other areas. I also find it hard to believe you've been at the ILs for nearly the whole of your pregnancy, you deserve some kind of endurance medal for coping with that. We're in a similar position re where to store stuff - not that the prospective nursery has plaster hanging off, but it's currently my office and needs to remain that way until I finish work so it's unlikely we'll actually have time to move furniture and decorate before the baby arrives. It will be in with us for the first 6 months anyway so my plan is to move, or more likely get rid of as much as we can beforehand but the rest will have to be done afterwards. I've just got too much work to get through for it to happen any other way. However it does mean we have an excuse to decline when
the in-laws people offer us huge and unnecessary items. Thanks for pointing me towards the baby stuff thread, that's really helpful, I know the obvious things like car seat, cot etc but it's the small stuff i don't know anything about. I had to google muslins to find out what they were
Hope you didn't come down with a bug. We're just back from a lovely week off (last holiday together before the due date) and I've helpfully come down with another cold and sore throat which is now my 4th cold in 6 months. The things I'm most looking forward to after the birth (apart from a massive
bottle glass of rioja) are having my immune system, and my digestive system, back to normal again. Hoping not to end up with the old man cough this time, that's the pits. Have you shaken yours off MrsM?
Waves to everyone, hope you are all well and blooming
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