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TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD

(994 Posts)

Afternoon.

I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

<lays out some freshly baked goodies to tempt people in>

Eletheomel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:36:53

Art, you know giving birth feels like you're just having one massive poo... :-D

I'm hoping to start pooing more now the morning sickness is receding (odd how my hopes and dreams change :-)

Hello! Do you mind another long-term ttc-er joining you? I used to post a bit on the conception thread, but haven’t joined my due date antenatal club as I feel a bit like a fish out of water. I do think that having had difficulties ttc, and having had to face the prospect of it not ever happening, makes you approach things differently when it miraculously does happen. So I’m currently 13+3, which I still can’t quite believe. So far it’s been pretty easygoing for me, with no nausea (which of course I worried about endlessly), just tiredness and constipation. I found bean stew helps with the latter blush.

I’ll have a proper read through the thread later, but just to dive into a couple of conversations (if you don’t mind)… Princess, I also heard about the Epi-No and thought it might get me out of having to do the whole massage thing… but that article which Ele posted has made me think twice about it now. I also watched the video on tearing which was linked from that article. With hindsight, shouldn’t have watched it straight after breakfast… but forewarned is forearmed!

On the subject of surnames, this is something we have also been discussing in the Beryl household. By the time the baby arrives, Mr B and I will be married, but I won’t be taking his surname. Not really for professional reasons, nor because my name is particularly attractive (it’s not, and causes all sorts of problems, but that’s another story), but as art said, simply because it’s my name and I can’t imagine being/being asked to be someone else. So what do we do with the bairn? Currently, we’re working on the assumption that s/he will take Mr B’s name, an assumption which is a little uncomfortable for us both. But as someone else said upthread, insisting on the mother’s name might feel a little disenfranchising for the father. A double-barrelled solution doesn’t work for us (pronunciation wise, but also, I guess, the idea just doesn’t appeal/suit us). We mooted the idea of making up a new name using the letters from our own surnames, but I think we were just joking wink So we’re in a quandary, which I think will probably result in us ignoring it for a while and then just going with the patriarchy flow. Hmm, sorry, no great ideas there then! Just sympathy with situation.

Well, a bit of a ramble for a first post, so I should stop now. Hope everyone is having a good start to the week!

Adding to list:

EDD

Princess First baby 10/06/2013

Artemis First baby 09/08/2013

Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013

Beryl First baby 20/07/2013

princesschick Tue 15-Jan-13 12:05:24

Hey Beryl, lovely to see you over here smile I do remember you from the 10 + board. Glad that pregnancy is treating you well. 13 +3 already!! So many of us are due around the same time, it's lovely. Summery babies all round smile I hope that it's sunny in May so that I can spend some time in the garden on maternity leave.

Ele I too, like Beryl am having second thoughts about the Epi-No after reading the article. I didn't watch the video - I'm not that brave yet. It was really informative though. Thanks for the post - I found it really helpful. I was also a bit sniffy about birthing pools before, but I'm liking the sound of them more and more as time goes on.

I've got my hypnobirthing taster sesh on Saturday, which we're looking forward to. We get to watch a hypnobirth DVD and talk about what they do over the course. It's looking like fitting it in is a bit of a nightmare and I cried and shouted at DH in Waitrose (oh the shame) about the house not being finished (initial melt down over an oven on ebay that spiraled) and not being able to do the things that were important to me because of the delays and losing all of our weekends to the house last night blush DH told me we have to do it because he knows it's important, everything else has to be fitted in and he reminded me that he's working his bollocks off to get the house ready ASAP to get me out of the in laws. He also said that I'm tired and need to rest more and that I shouldn't have gone to the supermarket and should have been in bed. I'm now on enforced rest. I had dinner bought to me on a tray last night. I then had 9 hours sleep, only waking a few times for a few moments but I'm still exhausted. Just not teary today. It makes me dread our baby's tantrums because I still have a quite uncontrollable tantrum streak (or Kiki my inner chimp - some of you might remember), which I really struggle to control when tired blush. I'm so like my mum, who is exactly the same and I really hate this part of my personality / make up.

Baby has been sooo busy too, I wonder if there's been a growth spurt as two of the kicks yesterday were so strong they made me jump! He's tiny at the moment and I just wonder what he'll be like in a few weeks when he's much bigger and heavier!

Loves to you all smile

Eletheomel Tue 15-Jan-13 13:37:48

Hello Beryl - great to have you on board.

I would also say that I think it is different when you've had a hard journey to get here (esp, when you've sat down and had the hard discussions about what you will do if you can never conceive) it alters how you view things, personally even now I wake up every day amazed that I have a little boy - the wonder of him never goes away and I think it's helped me to be so much more patient and loving as I'm just ever so grateful he's here (even when he is being a total monkey!)

Firstly, can I just apologise for linking to a website with an awful video link. I totally should have vetted the page more as I wouldn't knowingly circulate that to anyone, let alone first time mums - I'm really sorry.

In my defence, while I read the articles on the site I never followed any link - and still haven't some things you don't need to see! (probably my natural squeamishness, I managed to get through my first pregnancy without watching any birthing things, and hope to do the same again this time.)

I would just reiterate that, honest to goodness, I didn't even know I'd had a tear the last time, didn't feel it at all, so however horrible the thought it, please be assured that it won't even be on your horizon when the time comes - honest!

Anyway, sorry for causing any anxiousness, hopefully we can all focus on our little beans instead.

Princess sorry for your waitrose meltdown (although so much classier than a tesco meltdown :-)

On the plus side, Mr P sounds like a complete gem and it does sound as if you are really knackered (and you are growing a new life in there, it will take it out of you) so hopefully some rest will help you feel better - sending you some tea and chocolate (not sure if you're eating such luxury foods now you're pregnant :-)

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Oh Ele, you misunderstood me! I really appreciated you posting the link to the article, and the link which I then followed was really informative – I am glad to have found it! Seriously, it explained what happens through a series of diagrams, showing the muscles that are involved and explaining the various types of tearing, ranging from superficial to 4th degree. I genuinely would rather know what to expect. But it is good to hear that you didn’t even notice that element of the experience! Apologies for the confusion thanks

Princess the hypnobirthing sounds really interesting. Hope the session goes well on Saturday, and I'd love to hear what you make of it. I am not sure how well I'd get on with that kind of thing, but having just started pregnancy yoga last night perhaps I am finding my inner woo... smile

ladygee Tue 15-Jan-13 15:19:41

Hello ladies!

Princess – Nearly half way through, then you can start counting down the weeks rather than up! This little wriggler is pretty much full length now, from now on it’s just about putting weight on ready for coming out into the big wide world. Eek.

Ele - I’ve got five weeks and counting down to maternity leave - I cannot wait. My mat leave doesn’t start until my due date but I’m using up annual leave before then (if I don’t then I’ll lose it all!). No chance of winding down beforehand though…

Glad everything went ok with your 20 week scan and hope everything goes ok at 28 weeks. Just think of it as another chance to see your baby. I’ve got to have another scan at 36 weeks to check my placenta has moved away from the birth canal (it was very close at 20 weeks) – if it hasn’t then it’s a c-section for me.

Arte – Positive about the prospect of labour? I’m taking the head in the sand approach – all this talk of tears and perineal massage has made me realise I need to get reading up! We’ve booked onto a full day antenatal class, with an independent midwife, in February so I’m hoping that will enlighten us both a bit. We booked this as we don’t have any NCT classes nearby either – and I didn’t fancy sitting in a children’s centre of an evening for the reasons you described!

In terms of telling people about being pregnant, we still had people to tell at 20 weeks – I think we were still in shock. But I did tell work once we’d had the 12 week scan.

Names are a minefield. It took me a long time to decide to take DHs name when we got married (and I still haven’t switched my passport!) so I don’t envy anyone going through that process. Christian names are another political hot potato amongst in-laws – again we’re a bit head in sand about this at the moment do you sense a theme?!?

Congratulations teuchter and beryl – welcome!

heart – yay for bump popping out and maternity jeans! There are some good lists online or in baby magazines (I’ve used the Boots parenting club list) of what you need. You’re right, pram and furniture should be the only big expenses unless I’ve missed something, which is very likely

Waves to everyone. Where are the weeks going? I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow - suddenly a number with a '3' at the front seems a bit serious and getting near the business end of it all smile

ladygee Tue 15-Jan-13 15:22:01

Added my stats to the list and put it in date order because I'm a bit OCD when it comes to lists

EDD

Ladygee First baby 27/03/2013

Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013

Princess First baby 10/06/2013

Beryl First baby 20/07/2013

Artemis First baby 09/08/2013

TeuchterWahine Wed 16-Jan-13 07:29:47

EDD

Ladygee First baby 27/03/2013
Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Beryl First baby 20/07/2013
Artemis First baby 09/08/2013
Teu First baby 19/08/2013 (their date); 28/08/2013 (my calculation)

TeuchterWahine Wed 16-Jan-13 07:44:35

I'm still not believing. Have managed 2 days in a row feeling pretty good. Like Artemis, roll on the first scan. Show me that evenything is real and ok.
On the names front, I had a double barrel maiden name and rather regret changing it. Mr Teu didn't want me too, but I'd just been made redundant, and the passport needed renewing, rather feel I lost a bit of me. Anyway, I'm thinking of using it as a middle name. Nothing like getting ahead of yourself!
Princess I'm really hoping it gets it's temperament from MrTeu. I still throw spectacular tantrums, particularly when stressed and anxious.
We are venturing into the interesting terratory of finding our midwife. They are all independent here and get paid x for a delivery. If they have to hand your care over (intervention, CS) they get paid quite a lesser amount. You can't tell me that that won't set up a bias? Terrifies me. hands over ears, la la la
And we only get 13 wks paid leave - shared between us.
Lovely to see some more names from the TTC 10+ thread.

ArtemisTheHunter Wed 16-Jan-13 13:41:10

Hi all

Welcome to Beryl, great to see someone else over here! thanks for your sympathy with the name scenario. It's good to know I'm not the only one even though there are no easy solutions. I think we might end up going with the patriarchy too, though to be fair having read some of the stuff the midwife left last night we seem to have landed in a whole new world of rampant sexism. Mr A is already getting stroppy that fathers seem excluded from so much of the process and the information given. Our 32-page guide to new babies contains just one 'dads page' (their apostrophe failure, not mine!) which contains the immortal line "You may have noticed, but dads are quite different from mums". No shit, Sherlock. So a surname is starting to feel like one way of ensuring he feels involved from the start.

Princess I'm sorry but I did smile a bit at the hypnobirthing discussion followed by crying in Waitrose grin. Your DH is probably right, sounds like you need more R&R. I'm sure you'll feel far better when you're in your own place. staying with other people long term leaves you with an enhanced level of background stress that it's easy to forget about until the kind of meltdown you describe. Hugs and caffeine free brew and I hope you're feeling better today.

Eleth just wanted to reassure you that you didn't freak me out with the link you posted, at least no more than I am already freaking at the prospect of actually having to give birth (yep Teu getting ahead of myself too!). I watched the films and they were very matter-of-fact and useful (thankfully cartoon fanjos only). I am going to have to get over my fear and face up to this stuff. TBH I have been petrified of the thought of birth for as long as i can remember and in my younger days my reasons for not wanting children were as much to do with horror of childbirth than anything else. Clearly it's still a long way off and there are many hurdles to jump before then but it's not a bad idea to start desensitising myself early.

Ladygee wow, 30 weeks! That does seem very close to the 'business end'. How do you feel about the prospect of a c-section? I think given my birthterrors I would find the prospect of major abdominal surgery instead quite a relief grin but I know that's probably not the right-on middle-class earth-mother thing to say smile. I didn't know there were independent midwives who ran classes, must look out for something similar near here. I don't think we'll even discuss names with in-laws, i'm taking the 'none of their business' approach as far as I can though it may be a different story when they eventually know!

Teu that sounds like a peculiar situation with the midwives. I would be anxious about them putting off calling for intervention when it was needed though I am sure the vast majority of people who go into that profession will have the best interests of mothers and babies at heart. Their insurance premiums must be huge. Yes, roll on the scan. Mine is a week tomorrow though it will probably just lead to further anxiety given the wait for results... however it will be reassuring to see that the bean is actually real. Other than the constipation I feel fine so it's easy to imagine I've just made the whole thing up. And 13 weeks of paid leave between you doesn't seem anywhere near enough... is that a statutory thing or up to the employer to decide?

The midwife came here this morning to complete the booking in, which mainly consisted of filling in another load of forms. I assume they do home visits to check out your living conditions as part of their risk assessments as there's no reason she couldn't have done all that when I went last week. I daresay some of the situations she sees would set alarm bells ringing. She was very nice but did tell me that because I had IVF I have an increased risk of any number of complications so will be automatically referred to a consultant. Great, more hospital appointments. It shouldn't prejudice my being able to go to the midwife-led birthing unit provided everything goes smoothly but I might have reduced choice. Humph. Something else they don't tell you when you go for IVF!

Waves to Heart and anyone else I haven't mentioned, hope everyone is keeping well and wrapped up warm. i've had the heating on all day, the cat thinks it's died and gone to heaven smile

Eletheomel Wed 16-Jan-13 14:25:12

Hi Art so glad I didn't add to your freaked-outness - I have to confess I still haven't viewed said cartoon links, but agree that cartoon images are so much preferable to the real thing!

Our midwifes don't really visit home until after the birth, probably different policies in every health board though (maybe they're just extra nosey where you live!)

I have to say I wasn't aware that having an IVF baby risked any other complications? I presumed once egg and sperm got it on and decided to make a go of it, it would just have the same risks of any other pregnancy (we had one failed IVF cycle before we conceived naturally, and I don't remember anyone telling me about that either).

I'm jealous about your heating, I'm trying to keep my bills down so have a blanket on the sofa until it comes on automatically at 4:30, but I might just have to cave (stop my hand from freezing!)

Ladygee 30 weeks does sound so close to the business end, and so close to maternity leave starting too (you must be so excited!) I'm meeting with work on Friday to tell them my dates etc, hoping I've done all my calculations right and I can get all the time off I want :-) 27 March just isn't far away at all!

Waves to princess, beryl, heart, teu, stacks and anyone else out there :-)

Stacks Wed 16-Jan-13 22:56:52

Don't have the energy to read back just now, but you've dropped off my threads list so it's time to post. Thomas is still adorable, but I'd really like some sleep...

Nice to see new people over here, the thread hasn't been this active in ages. I noticed the other day that the thread was started in Aug 2011, it's a shame there's not been more of us on here in that time, and more chatting. Things seem much more active recently, more than average 10 plussers graduating? I hope so, and long may it continue.

ArtemisTheHunter Thu 17-Jan-13 09:41:53

Eleth I'm glad it's not just me unaware of higher risks with IVF pregnancies, I thought maybe I had had my ears closed when they told me that bit but I am certain it wasn't mentioned! I can't understand why i would be at higher risk of diabetes etc when I have low BMI, low BP, no family history and no other indicators that it would be a problem aside from age (and I bet I am healthier than some of the fag-smoking cider-swigging horse-burger-munching 25-year-olds they see). I wonder if maybe women who have IVF tend to be more susceptible to problems, rather than IVF itself causing problems. Though I suppose i shouldn't complain at a consultant appointment, a bit of extra monitoring won't hurt.

I have the heating on again today, head deep in sand about the cost. i am very conscious that everything I spend from now on is money I won't have for my maternity leave but get cold very fast sitting at my desk and despite layers of jumpers I can't work if my fingers are blue!

Stacks I'm glad all is good with Thomas, though I can't imagine the sleep deprivation quite yet... I think there's been roughly one grad a month from the main thread for the past six months or so, if I include Lemon who sadly mcd. I am really hoping for more grads soon. I just want everyone over here! smile

Heart7 Thu 17-Jan-13 12:52:02

hi all, just checking in. I can understand that it must be difficult to decide what to do about names, if double barrelling isn't feasible. Can't offer advice sorry, I wasn't attached to my maiden name at all. I love my dad, but haven't got much time for many of his side of the family, so didn't mind giving up my name. I never saw it as a feminist issue or anything.To be fair, my DH didn't assume I would take his name, but I wanted us and any eventual children to have the same name, felt more like we were becoming a "family" on paper. I quite like being 'Mrs' too. I guess whichever name you choose, using the other one as a middle name might be a good compromise?

Art don't worry about lack of symptoms. I was terrible for worrying about this but the more research I have done and the more real life people I speak to, it's become apparent that LOADS of people don't get many pg symptoms / morning sickness. It's just those people don't go on about it as there is nothing to say, and they don't want to seem smug or whatever.

I did start reading a thread about traumatic birth stories the other night but stopped myself - again, people that had straightforward / easier births won't be writing about it on the internet as often, or telling their friends about it, for the same reasons as above. You don't know what you are going to get, I think the best way is to keep yourself informed but at least go in with a positive frame of mind that you will get through it somehow. We could spend the rest of our pregnancies fretting about labour and end up with a planned ceasarian, and hence have other problems to contend with! When preparing for my laparoscopies and also my medically managed miscarriage I read a lot about it on the internet and there were the most horrendous stories. Those experiences were very difficult and unpleasant, but it is different when you are going through them yourself, you manage at the time because you have to.

Snuggles to Thomas!

princesschick Thu 17-Jan-13 16:47:43

Hello all smile

Just a quickie from me. No real news. Just flying by to say "hi" and to have a chat. Had a nice yoga sesh and bestie was there too as she missed her usual Monday class. Was lovely to be going together. Especially after feeling so horrible and having the weirdness between us back in summer when she was pregnant and I was in throes of TTC misery. She's 37 weeks now and baby could be here any day! Exciting times! She's promised to text as soon as she has her first contraction but I don't really care if I don't hear until baby's here safely. I'm sure she'll have so much stuff going through her head, not to mention getting her flat ready for the home birth!

So, yesterday I wrote my job description and today I've been writing up the advert and updating procedure notes in prep of leaving. Only 3.5 months to go! I'm being properly replaced and moved to work in other ares of the business because we're small and I'll only be back part time after Xmas. It's weird as I pretty much set up my own little department from scratch and I'll be handing over 2 years stuff to someone new. I'm not sad though, just glad I'm lucky to be in the position I am where everything is so flexible. One of the perks of working for the family firm (please note: we're not the Corleone's even though my PiLs seem to think my family are gangsters hmm)

Did anyone else see the AIBU from the MIL about the DIL? It got deleted as the MIL was a suspected troll. I must admit it made my blood run cold as I saw the inner workings of the MIL mind... it makes me think that even the outwardly sane and lovely MILs have the propensity to turn into horror shows with the arrival of their precious first born grandchild... I'm sure, SURE it will be fine and I'm making things worse in my head but it's still not a pretty set of thoughts!

Anyway, hope we're all feeling well and happy. Lots of love xxx

Eletheomel Fri 18-Jan-13 13:49:29

princess I tend not to look at AIBU because I find that generally it tends to arouse strong feelings (like rage!) and I'm trying to avoid that in pregnancy :-)

I'd try and avoid worrying about potential MiL issues just now, if she does turn into a grandchild obsessed monster, you'll worry about it then (and resolve it, my DH eventually spoke to his parents to tell them to lay off - and it worked - nice enough people, they're just a bit loopy when it comes to grandchildren!) I'm sure we may get similar issues this time, but second time round I feel much better about it and am refusing to let it get to me, they're coming from a good place, I just have to keep reminding myself that :-)

heart I'd avoid reading any traumatic birth stories, I have several friends who had wonderful birth stories, so if you ever want any nice happy ones to counterbalance the horrors just let me know. I'd also say that while folk love to share labour stories (and how awful it was) what they tend not to say is the moment they saw their child, you totally forget about labour and how you got there, and ultimately, worse case scenario, it's maybe 1-2 days of crap but after that you get to see your baby - bargain in my book :-D (fyi, my labour was only 2.5 hours, so quick ones are possible :-)

I've just had a big pot of home made split green pea soup with chopped up veggie hotdogs and bread, and I feel suitably warmed and stuffed (so so glad the ms is disappearing into the distance!) I've also put my heating on and am going to snuggle under a blanket on the sofa until my son gets dropped off at 3pm - cosy winter afternoons!

Hope you all have good weekends and princess hope the hypnobirthing goes well (really keen to see what its like)

Stacks glad you're still loving motherhood (albeit perhaps not the sleep deprivation - you can see why its a popular form of torture!)

lots of love to everyone!

ArtemisTheHunter Sun 20-Jan-13 16:08:52

Hello all

Hope you're all having lovely weekends and well wrapped up against the snow. It's not too bad here, though I haven't been anywhere in the car since it started and have had to be dragged out rather reluctantly on the couple of walks we've done.

Heart thanks for the reassurance about lack of symptoms. I daresay you're right, they are the people you just don't hear about. Nobody ever made headlines by having a trouble-free pregnancy. I will be joining you in avoiding traumatic birth stories. My imagination can conjure trauma enough without fuelling the fire! Eleth it's reassuring to know quick first labours are possible! i might need some of your positive birth stories further down the line and hurrah that the ms seems to be easing off smile

Princess I fear my mum might be the dread MIL in our situation... DP's parents already have 7 grandchildren who live round the corner from them, courtesy of his ludicrously uber-fertile sister, so I can't imagine they'll view another with any great enthusiasm and despite only living half an hour away they've only been to see us three times in five years. My mum on the other hand has two grandchildren she rarely sees, because my brother lives halfway round the world and he and his wife have not brought the children up to be bilingual so we struggle to establish a relationship when we do see them. So I fear she'll want to be round here at every opportunity - I daresay I will appreciate the help (up to a point!) but I need to make sure it doesn't get too much for Mr A. Eleth I think it's good advice to remember their hearts are in the right place even though their actions might seem a bit much!

Princess it must be exciting to be planning your departure from work! I'm so glad things have worked out with your bestie. I think I'd be too nervous to opt for home birth but the people I know who have done it have had good experiences.

I've been feeling knackered this weekend and starting to notice physical changes - can't climb our stairs without getting out of breath which is disconcerting when i used to do 4-6 hours of cardio a week. I am definitely putting on weight. It's too early for a bump but I've really laid on some fat round my waist, clothes are getting tight and my boobs have finally worked out they're supposed to be doing something (though not to the extent where I need to buy new bras). It feels weird because I don't want to tell people until we know the scan results but I'm sure I caught a friend last night scrutinising my stomach, probably just thinking I've piled it on over xmas. I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, just feel like I'm getting lardy. Trying not to feel anxious about the scan later this week - thankfully it's a busy one work wise so should keep me distracted.

Loves to everyone, hope you are all well smile

princesschick Mon 21-Jan-13 17:22:54

Hey ladies smile

Hope everyone is keeping nice and warm in this very cold weather. Brrrrrrr! Managed to get out on Saturday for my opticians appointment and hypnobirthing taster. Hypnobirthing was ace and we're all signed up to do classes in March. We got a book and a CD as part of the course. I read most of the book yesterday and it reaffirms everything I want from the birth. The concept is a lot less woo than I thought although some of the practices are a bit hmm but she said that they do loads of different things and couples always find a technique that works for them. I'm not sure I could do it all out of a book or with a CD but I don't think it would be impossible. There's a lot of practice required and a lot of birth preparation but then I much prefer to plan and practice things anyway.

Apart from that we had a quiet weekend. Stocked up on groceries on Saturday. Went for a walk to get some fresh air yesterday.

My back is really aching at the moment. I've been feeling a lot of stretchy type stuff going on and baby has had hours of constant movement followed by hours of inactivity. It's really weird as my bump is solid and out there when he's jiggling and then flatter when he's snoozing. We reckon he has a lie down round the back. Some days it feels like I've got Rocky in training in there.

So, 20 week scan on Wednesday. I can't believe how quickly this is all going! Half way there today! Woop woop!

Artemis when is your next scan. I was really paranoid about people looking at my belly before the 12 week scan because I noticeably put on weight on my belly and face and couldn't fit into my ordinary jeans from 10 weeks. But I managed to keep away from people who didn't know before then or just wore baggy jumpers. I also have the sporadic breathlessness. I nearly fainted packing our suitcases before Xmas and have had a few other moments where I've literally taken a few steps and had to stop. I'm nowhere near as fit as you but I wouldn't say that I'm unfit so it feels weird to be wheezing like an old lady. Just remember that your heart is pumping loads more blood and that when you are resting, you're body is doing the the same as someone who's just been jogging. Our yoga teacher was very strict about us not putting any pressure on ourselves to push ourselves or doing activities which tire ourselves out. She said,"ladies, your bodies are already pushed. We need to learn to take it easy and let go. This isn't easy for people who push themselves daily - at work, during exercise, in life in general but it's really important" I liked hearing that as I felt like a complete wuss last week when I was exhausted after being a busy and doing normal stuff over the weekend.

Ele you are right about the MiL issues. I think it's just all the more "there" because we're "here". But I'm trying to refocus on other stuff as I don't want to start negatively projecting at her when she hasn't done anything wrong. I'm finding the reading and doing stuff with DH really helps and engaging in normal conversation in short bursts with her helpful. Your soup and veggie hot dog combo sounded lush the other day. We had delicious roast chicken, jacket potato and steamed courgette last night followed by crepe suzette and we've got left over chicken tonight. Plus we've been having lots of yummy hot chocolate too. Oh and hot pain au chocolat in bed yesterday. I love being stuck in with yummy food. Mmmmmmn-hmmmmmmn.

Oh and one of the other things I like about hypnobirthing is that they only focus on the positives of pregnancy and birth and don't bang on about the potential problems. It's more than a head in sand kind of thing but it was really refreshing to just think nice thoughts and not have stats and problems hammered into you a la NHS. This made me think about the "french kids don't throw food" book I read recently, where she comments that US / UK press always focus on the negative whilst French people are much more glass half full about these things. I really enjoyed the "french kids don't throw food book". We're not going all out frenchie parenting but I really admire the way they do food, manners, bed time and guilt free time for maman. This will be taken on board chez princess!

Right I've waffled on enough. I need snacks, tea, duvet and my philosophy book before chickeny dinner. Luffs and waves to all xxxx

Eletheomel Tue 22-Jan-13 18:54:28

Hi Art when is your scan? I always felt that time just seemed to drag until scan day - then it was such a relief to see the little wiggler dancing away (even at 12 weeks and feeling sick and nauseas I still never quite believed there was a baby in there until I saw it :-)

Art and Princess you will both have to promise to chant back my 'reasonable' words about MiLs, once this bean is born and I am being driven mad again, remind me how she's coming from a good place and to just ignore what I don't want to hear and let it wash over me (I might need that kind of reminder!)

And Art I think there is definitely an advantage to being pregnant over xmas, people will just write off any bulkiness to too many mince pies :-)

Princess I know what you mean about the 'stretchiness' and achiness, at the moment it's like I can feel all my ligaments loosening up and things are getting a bit sore and tired. I had one of those 'forgot I was pregnant' moments the other day at work, had went downstairs to use the photocopier, realised I'd left key bit of paper upstairs, and did what I used to do pre-pregnancy, tried to run up the stairs 2 steps at a time - what was I thinking??? Could barely lift my legs up the 2 steps, and I felt like someone had tied concrete to my feet, everything felt so heavy, I was very close to totally overbalancing and falling! Fortunately, no-one saw this very inelegant event and I've resolved to stick to one step at a time from now on!

Glad the hypnobirthing taster went well. I'd like to do classes but I'm never going to fit it in with DS etc. I bought a natal hypnotherapy book (similar thing, I think although I'm sure both sets of practitioners would disagree!) and I think I might get a CD and try and brainwash myself to think relaxing thoughts for the last few months of my pregnancy :-) Not sure I'll be engaging with the process as much as I should, but anything that can help get me centred and focused during the event is worth a shot.

I had a very quite weekend, made the mistake (on sunday morning) of trying foods that I probably aren't ready to go back to. I wanted (so I had) a glass of OJ and a boiled egg and toast and 90 minutes later, saw it all again and felt rubbish all day! Had been doing so well too, really annoyed at myself for just trying 2 food items that I know had made me ill before - think I'm just so impatient to get back to normal, I forget I have to keep introducing the 'old foods' little by little. Ah well, lesson learned!

Waves to everyone, hope you're all enjoying the snow (if you've got any, I don't and I'm most disappointed about it!)

princesschick Wed 23-Jan-13 16:47:51

Hi all,
Just swinging in to say that we had our 20 week scan today. Baby is looking all good and healthy. Placenta is 'round the back and not blocking the exit. Baby was quiet this morning, wasn't having any of the prodding and they had to tip me up backwards to try and move him around!!! We still don't know sex and stuck to not finding out. I have some very cute pics of baby with his foot on his forehead and hands in his mouth - long legs and bendy - a little yogi in the making!!
Hope everyone is well smile
xx

ArtemisTheHunter Wed 23-Jan-13 18:03:09

Hi all

Great news Princess, glad all is looking good! Half way there, wow. Time seems to really drag in these early stages but I bet when you get further along everything just speeds up. The hypnobirthing sounds like it really suited you, I'm looking forward to further reports as you get into the course. I'm going to learn a lot from you ladies who are a few months ahead of me! I like your yoga teacher's advice. I went to pilates yesterday and the instructor was great, told me what I could and couldn't do, but it sounds like there'll be a lot I can't do in another month as I won't be able to lie on my back. Perhaps it will be time to take it easy, keep active through walking and swimming but enjoy not putting myself under pressure to keep to a gym schedule and stay a certain size and weight. There'll be plenty of time to worry about that later. I also wanted to say I loved your post to Lemon on the 10+ thread. You always seem to know exactly what to say. I still read and am rooting for everyone on there. It's like a bunch of friends but I feel a bit weird posting now I'm not sharing the same experiences any more, even though I can fully empathise with how it feels and I'm sure nobody would run me out of town for sticking my beak in!

Ele you're right about Christmas, I'm really glad it fell when it did, gives me an excuse for porking up a bit! I had a chat with a colleague the other day about excess of wine and mince pies (I went along with the wine bit smile) and lack of exercise. It must be odd feeling ligaments starting to loosen and being less physically capable than you think you are! I hope the sickness is subsiding again, that sounds rotten. Hope you got some snow in the end... I'm tired of ours now, I have spent a lot of time getting acquainted with the public transport system because we live on quite a steep hill that doesn't get gritted and I have been scared to drive. The roads are pretty much clear now though so i will probably venture out in the car tomorrow as getting to the hospital by bus is a hassle.

I've got my 12 week scan and bloods tomorrow morning and am a bit anxious still but relieved the waiting for it is nearly over and reminding myself that there's a far greater chance of everything being fine than not. We have agreed we'll just take whatever comes which has made me feel a bit better. Mr A has started to talk more about the baby as a thing that's actually happening, which is good as he's not really acknowledged it much so far (something else I was getting anxious about hmm). He has a good friend at work who had a baby a year ago and has started appearing with titbits of advice from her which is quite nice as it means he's got someone to talk to about it. I don't know anybody who's had a baby in the last few years so can't have those kinds of conversations apart from on here!

Waves to Heart, Stacks, Teu, Beryl, Frannie, Ladygee and anyone lurking smile, hope you're all well.

ladygee Thu 24-Jan-13 04:50:00

Hi ladies,

I'm away with work and am being kept awake by a very wriggly baby!

Just wanted to say to Artemis good luck for your scan today.

And princess, half way there woohoo! I must take a look at hypnobirthing - a few people have mentioned how good it is.

I'll post properly when I'm back home as posting on my phone seems to take an age. Waves to everyone smile

TeuchterWahine Thu 24-Jan-13 06:26:19

Good luck artemis. I'm sure it will all be fine. I love that MrA has someone to talk to and is starting to talk about the baby. MrTeu called it interesting and abstract when we first found out. I guess it is weird for them, nothing to see really.
Gosh, half way there princess. Exciting!
MrTeu decided to put teak oil on a piece of furniture last night, stank the house out and sent me into a tizz over I shouldn't be breathing this and how could he be so inconsiderate. Cue tears and angst that I pushed him into this, bless him he just sat with me and let me blurt about being scared - of what we've got ourselves into, of having to do this on my own etc etc. Coz I'm a giant scaredy cat, and anxiety freak. He's a good man and I do know why I married him.
Anyway, better go give him his dinner. Waves to all.

mrsmellow Thu 24-Jan-13 07:44:34

Hi all, sorry for radio silence, I'm having problems with cookies and logging in to mumsnet hmm
art hope scan goes well today
princess half way through - wow!
ele sorry to hear about the egg incident - after a few days of no nausea I was back to dry retching again on Sunday so taking it easy again.
I feel like I just get chubbier and chubbier... but no bump!
All fine here, nearly on our way back home from overseas and have no where to live... feel like nesting might kick in early wink

I'm now 15+3 weeks. I've been to a few pilates classes recently which were really good - but gave conflicting advice about what you can't do. One said lots of stuff, teh other basically said no twisting movements and not to stretch obliques - otherwise whatever is comfortable. Which correlates with what I've seen on the internet so I'm taking it! Pilates are free here, but I googled and it seems they're about £14 a pop in London?! shock I think I'll be investing in a CD!

I'm also planning to do hypnobirthing classes - a friend has already given me the CD, but I think I'll do the classes instead of nct. Empowerment is the key!

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