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TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD(994 Posts)
I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.
Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.
<lays out some freshly baked goodies to tempt people in>
I was the third graduate I think, and I'm at 20 weeks already. I still lurk occasionally on the other thread when it comes up in active threads, especially when I recognise the latest poster - I get excited that the rush of threads must mean another graduate. Things are going really well so far, had first kicks at weekend and scan is on Wednesday, almost disconcertingly easy - no sickness, still able to exercise, much healthier than when I was TTC as even arthritis has gone into remission. Loads of people have made jokes about how we should have 15 kids, it suits me so well, but it goes down like a lead balloon (DH blanches at the thought of the kids, I do at the thought of all that TTC)!
I am telling people it took a while, in the hope that I won't add to the pain of anyone else TTC. However DH seems retrospectively to think it only took "a few months" even when I get him to add up the start and finish dates, he dismisses it as some months not counting. I suppose we didn't have the same disappointment on the months where I didn't ovulate, but I still think it counts (hopes not to be kicked out of group for fraud)!
<helps self to baked goods, eating for two you know - ignoring that one is only the size of an orange>
Yay - hello Runner. So glad I'm not in here like a loner all on my own now.....
Wow - 20 weeks is like some far off mystical land to me. I'll be 7 weeks on Wednesday and am still bricking it for being such early days. I have DS (who'll be 3 in September) but before him I had a mc so am so nervous of something going wrong this time. Weirdly, because it took us so long to conceive this time (19 months) I am even more frightened of miscarrying - I couldn't deal with having to start ttc all over again as we were literally at the end of our tether with it all. I was supposed to be starting clomid for 3 cycles and then looking at IUI or IVF if that didn't work but never had to start the clomid as got bfp instead
May I ask how long it took you? It's funny how DH's memories change isn't it! I bet my DH would struggle to remember how long it took. I reckon by the end of March (when this bean is due) DH will have forgotten we struggled at all.... Whereas I could practically tell you in days how long we were ttc and certainly in months and cycles.
Good news that you are feeling so healthy through the pg - that's really good going. though at the 15 kids idea! I know what you mean - I had always wanted 2 kids but vaguely considered a third but I really don't think I could put myself through the whole ttc thing again
Agree about the eating for 2 thing. If you can ignore the fact that one of your two is only the size of an orange, can I ignore the fact that my bean is probably the size of a raisin or something?
So there must be 2 'more' pregnant grads floating around somewhere? I wonder how much further they are along? I think there was one not too far ahead of me and of course I am keeping my fingers crossed for lots more graduates to arrive soon. Weirdly I was only on the thread a few weeks as only joined MN after my last period so feel like a newbie even though 19 months seems to be towards the longer end of the ttc timeframe (although certainly not the longest!)
I took ten months, but I had a years limit off my drugs, so it was all a bit fast forward. I knew in advance I might have problems so every month felt like a confirmation. I was already lined up for starting IVF on the NHS at that year mark, which seems really unfair when I read about the long waits other people have to endure. Instead we were sent for an early scan the same week, though I have my suspicions that was to check I wasn't making it up more than anything else as the scan people weren't really sure why I was there!
I feel less like we struggled already, but there is definitely still a nerve that can be hit and I am (childishly) not telling a friend who said that trying for a baby must be so much fun and the longer it took the better. I thought I'd been quite stoic and played it down to my friends but they must have seen through me as quite a few cried when I told them I was pregnant.
How are you feeling, any morning sickness? I had heartburn kick in about an hour after I posted how great I feel! There was one grad who was pretty much my cycle buddy but tested a week or two later due to irregular cycles (and my ridiculously early testing), so she must be about the same as me. Think there are only 6 of us in total, but hopefully that will change soon!
That was lucky then getting your BFP just near the end of the year. What a lot of extra pressure knowing you had a deadline! Hope you have some Gaviscon stocked up for the heartburn. I think m/ws can prescribe it - I had terrible heartburn although my pg with DS. Got through loads of Gaviscon but at my ante natal class I felt better when there was a girl drinking it straight from the bottle - at least I'd mainly managed to stick with a spoon
I've not had much m/s yet, which is worrying me a bit. I never had it when I had my m/c (at 10 weeks) but did have general nausea with DS,although never actually sick. Have felt nauseous a few times but doesn't seem as bad as last time. I think I will probably give it another week and then arrange an early scan (privately if the mw won't refer me for one) as I should be 8 weeks by then. If something has gone wrong I'd rather know I think .
Good luck with your scan today. I had an 8 week scan and it just looked like a little peanut, but there was a heartbeat, which there isn't always, so don't worry if not one yet. My 12 week scan skipped me forwards to 13 weeks, so I might have been at 9 at the 8 week scan, if that makes sense. The first thing they said was "just the one baby in there" which was something I hadn't even thought about - I think going from worrying about none to suddenly being two would have been a shock.
I didn't have any morning sickness, I only had good symptoms until the heartburn (which isn't too bad as I quite like the peppermint Rennies). I also have friends that had no symptoms at all except an expanding waistline, still did everything as normal - eating, going to gym etc. I think they set me a bad benchmark as I am sleepy quite a lot of the time. This is a roundabout way of me trying to reassure you that no m/s isn't something to worry about - good luck!
Thank you - I'll be glad when this afternoon is over! Thank you for the warning about the heartbeat though, as I thought there would be one today if there was going to be one (iyswim)
Had scan, bean spotted, with heartbeat!! Measuring 8+3 which is a bit further than I thought but no bad thing.
So glad it went well, I hope you are able to relax and enjoy it now (I wasn't quite at that point, still didn't seem real, felt like a character in a play or something). Are you waiting until 12 weeks to tell people? I was told that the all clear at 8 weeks reduces the chance of a miscarriage between 8-12, so pretty safe to make announcements. I only told people who knew I was TTC and were being lovely and sympathetic as I couldn't have them feeling bad for me - our families had to wait!
It is nice to get bonus days isn't it. I went to the 12wk scan not sure if that meant I was out of the first trimester and into the safe bit, or if there was a week to go. When they told me I was already 13 weeks it felt like a bonus!
So happy for you, hope you have a lovely celebration tonight.
Aw thank you!
Still undecided about telling people. I have one friend who knows who has just been doing an IVF cycle (which has worked for her so I am doubly jumping for joy over that as she has been through the mill A LOT for this). Other than that we were wondering whether to tell our parents. My mum already knows (stupid photo of pee stick) but we figured that if anything bad happened now we would probably tell them anyway (at the very least I think we'd someone to help look after DS).
Then we get on to DH's brother and my sis. My sis is coming to visit next week and i'd feel a bit like i was lying to her if i don't say. But then again it is perfectly acceptable to lye about being early days pg. And we are seeing DH's bro on Saturday and don't see him all that often, but not sure.....
Have a few friends who knew about the ttc thing but don't know if i can tell them yet. They all think i've started Clomid because that's what we were about to do when i got the bfp so i think they're not asking at the moment as they think there is nothing to know. Might try to hold out for that 12 week scan to tell them. Of course it depends when my 12 week scan comes in - when i was pg with DS they were really busy and my 12 week scan was going to be at 15 weeks!!! I'd have gone mad I think (and I don't think I knew about private scans) so we had one at the EPU at 12 weeks instead.
Anyway, I am rambling. Need to have a chat with DH when he gets home. Think it is likely that we'll tell the parents and I'm completely undecided about anything else. I'm of to look at my little pictures again
off to look at pictures!
Hello, Just wondered if any of the TTC 6months plus or 10months plus from our threads wanted to stay in touch?
I've been stalking you all on the ttc thread anyway but thought I'd poke my head in to say congrats again Izzy
Hello ttc6/19 month+ grads,
Just trying to get my head around the transition from the conception to the pregnancy boards, feeling very cautious at the moment! I hope everyone is well, pregnancies are progressing nicely, and little babies are healthy and snuggly!
Still can't believe I'm upduffed, it seems too good to be true at the moment. Any other grads feel like dropping in to say hi? X
Hello biscuits nice to hear from you. How are you and your son doing now? How old is he?
kitty its good to see another grad! I'm sure fatima is on my November thread. How far along are you kitty?
Hey izzy, I am only 4 weeks +3 along! So very very early days I feel a bit silly saying I'm pregnant! I definitely am though-had loads of symptoms and my boobs are agony, so all good signs. Also had a LOT of cramping but trying to ignore that. How's things with you? Have you recovered from your horrible stressful episode with the ultrasound a couple of weeks ago?
waves to biscuits and all other ttc 6+ ers! X
You are definately pregnant
I'm doing ok for now. Still vert high risk of losing baby but for now its hanging on. I had a scan last week and have another booked next week and then my official one on 1st May. Don't think I will relax til then. A lot of people know because we thought we had lost baby and circumstances would have made it awkward not telling them that eg New baby and preg announcements! Most have been told things are ok again but not all just in case! X
Gosh it sounds like you're going through so much worry, sorry it has been so stressful-you sound remarkably calm though! I guess that all you can do is take it one step at a time, and I guess that every day you get through must increase the chance of all being absolutely fine
We're doing well thanks Izzy. DS2 is 5 weeks now. I can still remember though oh so clearly that idea that you can't get your head round finally being pg! In fact one morning I recall having a sort of period pain and thinking 'oh there's another month that hasn't worked ', and then remembering that I was in fact 7 mths pregnant and sporting a rather large bump!
I always felt more stressed about something going wrong because of the amount of time it had taken to get pg - not sure why but I think it just raises the overall worry factor
if you're paranoid like me.
I am so pleased by the recent run of bfps on the 10+ thread - of course I won't be happy until they're all on this grad thread, but things have been going well!
Izzy how many weeks are you know?
Wow biscuits weeks already! Goodness time flies!
I am 9 weeks and 4 days now getting there slowly. Next scan on 19th April, I'll be over ten weeks by then so maybe the risk will be lower?
kitty I am calm...ish for the moment. I had grieved for the baby for a week before finding out things were ok so I guess after that I can't really get any lower. I'm still praying that this bean will stick.
izzy I hope your scan goes well this week. 10 weeks sounds great to me how are you feeling symptoms wise at the moment? I've been generally ok but started feeling properly offish last night. In a way it's reassuring! I'm trying to stay balanced at the moment though, as it's still so so early.
biscuits so wonderful that you have a beautiful baby DS, hope he is settling into the world well
<puts out ginger cake and Belvoir pink lemonade in the hope of tempting other 10+er grads along>
Hi everyone. I'm glad the grads thread has started up again, it'll be nice to keep in closer touch than just lurking together.
I also am finding it hard to believe I'm pg. I had loads of nausea, hunger, insomnia and tiredness around week 3-4, but it all went away. I'm 5w+4 now, and just waiting for symptoms to kick back in.
We've told parents and siblings, as they knew we were trying, and if anything goes wrong I'll want their support. I also had to tell my boss, as last week got a bit hectic with appointments and a scan to rule out ectopic. It was all last minute 'emergency' appointments, which I found a bit strange and stressful, as it was me who asked the doc about my risk.
Scan went well though, and I saw my little egg sac, so all is good. Have to wait until 12 weeks now, which seems like forever!
kitty i've been feeling fine. A few 'bokey' moments as we would say up here but nothing worth mentioning really. Bras feel a bit tight and ive found a lump in my breast which i will need to get checked but nothing much really. Oh and i keep having lots of ewcm! TMI but i go to loo, wipe and its so wet i expect blood again but nope just cm! yeuch!
Welcome to the thread stacks. We told family as well, i thought it nicer for them to have the happy news in case anything did happen as we have told them in event of MC so was better that they knew. I was told we had lost baby and their support was much needed. I did tell a few friends about the MC as one announced her preg, and another was just about to give birth. Ive now updated them that little tadpole has clung on....so far so good.
Scan on thurs now as well as screening appt so kinda nervously looking forward to that. Hubby cant get off work so my sis is gonna come
Hope some more people come join us soon!
stacks that is great that you have seen the little egg sac and it's right where it should be. That must have been very reassuring. Sorry you got hustled into a load of emergency appointments by the doctor! Im sure your symptoms will kick back in soon.
izzy glad you've been feeling ok, I've had a few funny moments that have sent me running to the loo too but nothing!
My DH doesn't want us to tell anyone at all until after 12 week scan, but very naughtily I have already secretly told 3 friends. I feel quite bad about it as he will go ballistic if he finds out. But the trouble is they all knew we were about to start IVF and I would have had to lie to them, which made me uncomfortable. Oops. Really going to try and keep a lid on it now! Although I am going to tell my manager on case I need to take sick leave.
Hope you are feeling good today ladies my tummy is bleurgh. Feels like my digestive system has forgotten how to work properly, anyone else? Breathlessness seems to have gone. Still having intermittent cramps.
Oooh just spotted this thread <waves>
Hopefully this will be less busy than the november babies!
Will have a read, hope everyone is ok
Oooh Kitty Congratulations!!!
Yay fatima you found us!
I know the feeling re the Nov thread, its so so busy!!
How are you doing? How many weeks are you now?
Every time I post something it seems to get lost in all the regular people posts
I'm good thanks, how are you?
I'm 8+3 and god i'm feeling fat today. I have a right belly on me, had to have my jeans unbuttoned all day at work.
Had a scan at 7+0 and the fish was measuring 7+2 so it's looking good, although last night I had two separate dreams that i'd miscarried
Had an appointment with the midwife at 5 weeks and she sent off my scan form but i'm yet to hear anything. I have my booking in appointment on friday when i'll be 9+0
How many weeks are you? Did you have a scare on the Nov thread?
I know what you mean fatima, there seem to be a few regulars already!
Glad to hear baby is doing well. I'm sure the dreams are just normal anxiety.
I'm ok for now, still on tenterhooks. I am 10 weeks today. You are correct in that I had a scare. A massive one as we were actually told we had lost the baby and sent home to decide how to manage miscarriage and with a bunch of leaflets! I have a large clot in my womb alongside the baby so still at huge risk of miscarrying.
I have another scan booked for this thursday along with my booking/screening appointment. 12 week scan is scheduled for 1st May.
All my work colleagues are talking about who will be next to have a baby and i feel like i have a flashing PREGNANT sign above me!!
I have been bloating up like nothing else! I feel huge! Also developed a lump iin my breast so will need to get that checked out too now
How is everyone feeling today?
fatima glad youre here. Cant believe youre nearly 9 weeks along, gosh that has gone quickly (probably not for you though!) It sounds like your bump is progressing nicely. Did you see a heartbeat at 7 weeks? I think we will probably get a private scan if I make it to then, Im feeling in need of some reassurance and dont think I can wait til 12 weeks.
stacks I also seem to be having a bit of a dip in symptoms at the moment, trying not to get too paranoid about it. Still crampy, but boobs arent really that sore at the moment, and Im not particularly tired or sick, I also havent noticed any excess EWCM. Suppose I shoud be grateful
izzy sorry about your breast lump, hope its ok, do you think it could be preg-related? Hope the scan goes well tomorrow, let us know how you get on
I havent joined the December thread as its just so busy, I can hardly keep up lurking on it let alone posting. I dont have very much time to post during the week. glad you ladies are around to chat to in a slightly more sedate fashion!
Afternoon. 6w exactly today, and I've been trying hard to get on with 'life as usual' and not stress too much or over analyse. I sometimes feel a little sick, but not very often, and it's not that bad. My breasts are a little tender, but nothing like the ladies on the Dec thread are describing. Also got a bit more CM, but only noticed that in the last couple of days.
I am making an effort to eat healthy though, especially as I'm finding myself snacking a lot. Bean salad is a bit of a saviour - I bought one of those plain tins of it from the supermarket and added balsamic vinegar, salt, sugar, green beans and sweetcorn. It's great as you only need a spoonful to feel better, and it's reasonably healthy.
I've had some very vivid dreams recently, but they've not been pleasant. Quite traumatic really, though luckily not pg related. Had one about a man being eaten alive the other night... Must stop watching CSI before bed. Although the next day I tried watching a nice cooking program - then they started slaughtering chickens and disemboweling them! Sigh, kids tv tomorrow I think
Fatima so glad to hear things are going well for you. Your greater knowledge and experience will come in very useful when I reach the stages you've already been through
Izzy sorry about the breast lump. Hopefully it's just something to do with the milk ducts or something. Glad your scan isn't too far away, though I'm sure it feels like ages to you.
Kitty I've already told a few people, but it's strange - none of them are really close friends. Just a couple of people in work, as well as close family. DH wants to wait until after 12 week scan before even telling his grandparents.
Hello. Just popping on to say i was sensible and got lump checked out. she is not sure whats causing it so has referred me to the breast clinic for investigation. Great....yet more appointments!
izzy how did your scan go? Hope all is well . Sorry about the boob lump, hopefully it is something that can be looked at and dismissed fairly easily.
stacks at your dreams! I've had a few funny ones too. I came home from work at lunchtime and went to bed for a few hours and had loads of weird ones. Your bean salad sounds nice. I so know what you mean about trying not to stress, it's so hard isn't it. I convinced myself I was about to miscarry last night as could hardly feel boob tenderness at all. It seems to have come back a bit today and I feel a little nauseous, kind of like I've got a bit of a hangover. Hope you are feeling ok.
Hello. Kitty scan went well. Baby measures 10+3 which is where my ov date puts me exactly. It was waving its hands around in the air and wriggling about. It was lovely.
I have no real symptoms of being pregnant at all i only believe it due to the scans!
izzy that's wonderful news how lovely that the baby was waving at you. Will you still have a regular 12 week scan?I am v reassured by your lack of symptoms
Yes I still get normal scan at 12 weeks. The others have been through the EPU. My 12 week scan is on the 1st May x
We're not a very talkative lot are we? The thread dropped off my recent list.
Izzy have you had any news on the lump appointment? Really glad you had a nice scan, and not too long to wait for your next one. Time is really dragging for me, I just want to be 12 weeks already
Kitty hope you are doing well. Are your symptoms back full force? I've changed this bean's nickname to 'bug'. It's 'snug as a bug' and makes me feel like I've got the flu! I'm also publicly blaming DH for 'infecting' me (he had a slight cold this weekend [and complained like only a man can], and it's given me an excuse to back out of some activities I felt too tired to do).
Fatima do you have a 12 week scan date? Hope everything is going well for you and your DH.
Biscuits waves, how are you and DS2 doing?
Well, I decided here I'm going to be happy and excited about being pregnant. Since I got that BFP I've been talking in 'ifs' and uncertainties, and not looking ahead to actually having a baby. I was writing an email to someone the other day and half way through realised I was more talking to myself. I'd written lots of things about not wanting to get my hopes up, and being scared how I'll feel if something goes wrong. But then I thought - what if? What if things did go wrong? Will I feel better for not having let myself relax for these first few weeks? Or will I torture myself with wondering if I'd have been more positive would things have worked out? If the worst comes to the worst I want to look back at this pregnancy with as many happy memories as I can, to have enjoyed looking forward to a life with this DC, and planned for it's safe arrival and inclusion in our lives.
So this weekend I went out and looked at baby things in shops, I browsed through the Mothercare website to see what new gadgets people have come up with since I was last aware of baby things. Looked to see the prices of things on Ebay and wondered how I'd set up the nursery.
I had a good weekend, and have felt much better with everything. Even though I still don't have 'typical' morning sickness, my breasts aren't that sore, I don't have a funny taste in my mouth or super sensitive sense of smell... I also don't have my period, and that's enough for me.
Sorry, thought I'd posted again last week but I hadn't. Ooops
Finally got a 12 weeks scan date through and it's for when i'm 12+0 and away for a long weekend Managed to rebook it for 14th May when i'll be 12+3.
I wonder if it'll be measuring ahead again. As with having IVF at least I know my exact dates but wouldn't want them to change them if I was measuring bigger and then have to have an induction earlier
At my scan at 7+0 it was measuring 7+2.
I'm having a really lazy day today, got so much I could do with doing but I just can't be bothered. Ah well
Izzy Fab news about the scan
Kitty Hope you're feeling ok and not worrying about lack of boob ache too much
Stacks Glad you're feeling more positive. I had a stage of thinking the worst and feeling that I couldn't go through IVF again if anything did go wrong. But i'm ok now, still have down moments but then I get a bout of sickness or boob pain and I know bean is ok
Too much information I know but has anyone had naughty dreams. I've had a couple and I swear the other night I woke up and you know what without anyone even touching me! Must be the hormones
I've not had those hormones yet Fatima but my sister did tell me agreed never wanted so much sex in her life as when she was pg. told me so I could reassure my dh who was worried he'd be left out in the cold if I got pg. I wonder if I'll be the same...
Agreed = she'd, my phone auto correct is terrible.
stacks I've not heard about lump appointment yet. Hoping it will be soon cos at the moment it's just another thing to worry about!
That's me 11 weeks today getting there slowly but surely. Scan next tues! There is a baby show at the secc this weekend and I won tickets some are going on Sunday. Might pick up a wee bargain!
I wanted to go to the NEC baby show but DH has cricket
stacks that was a lovely post. I totally identify with everything you said. When I first found out I was preg there was about 48 hours of euphoria and happiness and then since then I have spent every moment worrying myself into the ground . You are so right. How will worrying and what-ifs help us? If anything goes wrong it's out of our control, and why shouldn't we enjoy being pregnant. I am definitely going to take a leaf out of your book, start being more positive and stop touching wood every time I think or speak of the little bean!
Sorry it's making you feel flu - like! I would describe my current symptoms as more akin to having a hangover all the time. My sore boobs have returned with a vengence which is reassuring. I'm still suffering from a lot of stomach cramps on and off, which is pretty wearing. I have an 'early bird' midwife appointment at the GP next week so I will mention them to her then. Sometimes I think they are digestion-related (having loads of issues in that area!) but other times they definitely feel like someone is squeezing my uterus, yuck. Anyway I shouldn't complain. I feel incredibly lucky to be pregnant.
fatima about your dream!! Ha ha - I wish I had dreams like that! I have had some weird ones but I always did beforehand too. They aren't erotic in any way shape or form though - just plain weird! I think poor old DH thinks he is never going to get any loving ever again as I can't bear the thought of it at the moment
izzy 11 weeks is fantastic so so pleased for you, let us know how the baby show goes. I've decided not to buy anything for the time being, but we are hoping to get a private scan next week or the week after, and if all is well there's a couple of books I'd like to start us off.
Hi everyone! I've found you
Just wrote a long post but lost it, gah! So pleased to hear everyone is doing well. I will just mark my place for now and be back soon to catch up properly.
Lovely to see you mini. Hope all is well.
Im having yet more drama. Had to leave work as more bleeding. Manager got one of nurses to check me over as so white but HR a bit high and BP up too. Called EPU and they said cos scan tomorrow not much they could do so will know whats happening tomorrow.
oh izzy how scary for you. I really really hope it is all ok for you. When is your scan?
Oh izzy just seen your post. I am so sorry you are having yet more stress. I really hope everything is ok for you today. Hopefully it is just another blip but the baby is fine. Good luck, I'm thinking of you. Xx
mini it's really nice to hear from you. How are you, and how pregnant are you?! Are you feeling ok?
Not much happening with me. I am 7 weeks today which is nice. I have a midwife appointment tomorrow, bit nervous. I have had a few bouts of queasiness, the worst yesterday morning, but nothing that has lasted very long. Oh and I've had some rage too, completely irrational and directed at DH
Hi kitty! I'm 8+4 today. Had a few scares as I've had a few small bleeds, so have been off for an early scan last Tuesday and that showed a
blurry blob embryo with a visible heartbeat. So hopefully all will be ok.
I have been worrying myself sick over the bleeding (and everything else I can think of...) but stacks' post has inspired me to try to chill out and think positive thoughts.
Not feeling particularly sick as long as I eat regularly - I've had a few evenings where I could only face very plain food though. Been really tired especially in the afternoons. Quite sore boobs and truly dreadful skin (I normally have acne anyway - thanks PCOS - but the last few days have been epically bad). I also have (TMI) constipation ... which is probably the real cause of the tiny bump I think I have grown .
Yup, got the rage too. Poor DH has been subjected to severe criticism for tiny things despite being generally lovely to me. Oops. I didn't realise it's a pg symptom - glad I have something to blame it on
Ooh exciting that you have your midwife appointment tomorrow (presume that is your booking in appointment?). Mine isn't till 10 weeks. Would be interested to hear what they ask about and what tests they do.
fingers tightly crossed for izzy. I am hopeful that since your previous bleeding wasn't a problem, this time won't be either iyswim... hang on in there little izzybean.
Hi ladies. Had scan this morning and all is well. I'm due on 14th November x
Oh phew phew phew izzy so pleased to hear that. Hurrah for izzybean. When are you 12 weeks? <can't count backwards>
Do they have any idea what is causing the bleeding?
mini I will be twelve weeks exactly tomorrow. Nothing seen on scan than explains bleeding and the clot I had wasn't visible either so they think it's been reabsorbed x
Ah that's good news! so no clots to worry about or anything like that
Nope just a very wriggly baby!
Hi Ladies, Gosh it's good to catch up with you (thank you mini for the link). Just logged on before I toddle off to bed, so not had a chance to read any of the previous posts yet, but wanted to say hello anyway.
We're all down with colds and on top of the
morning afternoon and evening sickness (the morning is the only time I actually feel okay), I'm feeling pretty rough at the moment, so off to bed for an early night.
Had an early scan yesterday. Baby measured 7 weeks and is doing fine. Got a heartbeat which was wonderful to see. DH and I are still stressing but I guess that's normal. I will feel much better about this once the 12 week scan shows all is well.
Anyway, big wave to everyone and I'm glad I've found you again.
izzy thank goodness. Its been such a rollercoaster for you hasnt it. Hope the bleeding is settling down now?
mini Yep I have had all kinds of digestive problems, at first it was more like the runs, now it is the other way, with loads of terrible wind as well never experienced anything like it! Poor DH! Ive swapped my museli for a big bowl of bran flakes and that seems to be helping to keep things regular so Im going to keep on with that although it can be a difficult to force it down in the mornings sometimes. Never expected the tummy trouble to be so immediate or severe!
You sound like youve had a rollercoaster too, but it is great that you have seen your little bean
Its funny how it affects everyone differently isnt it. My skin is normally bad but since Ive been preg I havent had any spots at all, really weird.
My midwife appointment isnt a booking in appointment, it is what the receptionist called an early bird appointment which I guess is for
lunatics people that find out early?! Im not too sure what the point is really, as it is only 15 min long, but Ill update tomorrow when I get back.
Hi whatmess! Very excited you are here, how are your tummy troubles? (not that I am obsessed or anything!) So jealous of all the scans Im definitely going to book in for an early one this week. Am starting to really feel like I need to check that there is something in there and I'm not imagining it!
glad to hear it's not just me with the terrible wind!
at your skin improving in pg - oh well, maybe in the second trimester I'll get that fab skin and glow I've been told about... meanwhile I am chugging down water to try to help flush the hormones through, it seems to help a bit (and helps with regularity too!)
Ah ok, that makes sense about your midwife appt. Maybe it's like the appt I had with the GP - just went through things like folic acid and what not to eat/drink.
whatmess that's interesting that you feel best in the mornings. I've not got bad nausea but it's definitely worst in the evenings - can only face really plain food.
izzy are you also having a 12 week scan or does your scan yesterday count as that?
That was my 12 week scan mini so hopefully things will go smoothly from now!
That's great news izzy. I've just got my 12 week antenatal clinic booking appt and scan come through for the 7th of June. It seems ages away. Hopefully will pass quickly. I still haven't had the booking appt with the midwife yet, we're set for next Tues and I have lots of questions about what it means to me under consultant care. I've no idea what to expect.
Tummy troubles have settled down Kitty. My op wounds are completely healed and my dodgy tummy has stopped. Unfortunately I still get cramps low down in my belly and the odd pain higher up but the sonographer couldn't find any reason for this so I'm trying not to worry about it. I had a weird muscle twitch low on my left side yesterday which I had with the last pregnancy. A bit like an eye spasm. Off I went to google it to see if it's normal . It's really hard not to compare every symptom to the last pregnancy and wonder if it's a sign things have gone wrong. So I have started talking to sticky bean. I tell
him or her myself that everything is fine and come December we'll have a perfect baby. Bit of positive thinking which helps to calm me down a bit.
Mini The sickness just gets progressively worse all day. I had to cook a lasagne the other day and only managed it by popping out of the kitchen every couple of mins for some fresh air. I have lost a couple of kgs in the past 4 weeks, but I'm not too concerned as I am eating healthier than I usually do and considering babies size, I'm sure they are getting enough. I would just leave on bread and jacket potatoes with cheese, but after feeding dd chicken nuggets for 4 days in a row because I couldn't bare the smell of anything else, I decided to cook a big pot of mince and split it into a lasagne and cottage pie. Should last a few days.
Well, off to get dressed. 10.30am and dd and I are still in our pjs. We are both home with bad colds, but I am beginning to feel a bit better so should really make an effort to tidy house today.
Wave to everyone I've missed. Hope all the bumps are behaving themselves.
Babies, they ... good heavens there is only one in there. And my spelling is atrocious. Think it's time I dug the glasses I'm supposed to wear all day out of the bag they've been buried in for the past two days.
Glasses! That reminds me, I need to get new glasses before any sproglet arrives. I am incredibly short sighted and wear contact lenses all day, but can't be popping them in and out all night if I'm up with a DC.
by the way your spelling looks fine to me
I've been eating a lot of beige starchy food in the evenings too, trying to force down protein and veg too but the protein is quite hard. I've been taking some
scarily huge pregnancy vitamins though, so hoping that they will make up for my diet.
This is probably a silly question, and sorry if I've forgotten something obvious, but why will you be under consultant care? What sort of questions are you planning to ask... I have my booking in appt next Friday and my list of questions is quite short at the moment (unusual for me ) so wondering what I've missed out.
izzy yay, fantastic that you are past the 12 week scan hurdle! The statistics look so good from that point - you are having an Actual Baby!
Apparently if you have PCOS, you are at increased risk of gestational diabetes. I am not surprised as I have always had episodes of the shakes and fainting, but all the fasting glucose tests I've had have come back normal.
The midwife said the PCOS history was the deciding factor in putting me under consultant care but she may also have been influenced by my previous MC and probs getting pregnant.
With the midwife care, if it's your first or they are particularly concerned they have a set no of visits with you (can't quite remember but I think it's monthly and then fortnightly towards the end). I read a comment on the December thread that suggested that consultant care means more visits and more scans. This is really what I want to ask about.
Also, the sonographer mentioned I would be attending their antenatal clinic, presumably to see the consultant or a member of her team. Again, I'm guessing and want to ask what this means. It could just be a routine check of bloods/urine, weight, heart beat by a nurse.
I did have the letter through this morning for my 12 week scan and booking appt in June. Odd as I am having a booking appt with the midwife on Tuesday.
Only other topic I have for the midwife is that towards the end of my pregnancy with dd, I was being monitored for pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure is normally fairly low at about 110/60, but it went up to what is considered normal for most but not for me. I had to go into hospital and have it monitored over a day, and was advised that I may be on the cusp of pre-eclampsia. dd came a week later at 36 weeks, so problem solved, but I would like to discuss it with midwife and see if there is anything we need to do.
Oh gosh, I didn't know that. I have PCOS and hypothyroid, so guess I might end up consultant led too... I will ask. For me the more scans/tests the better tbh, I like feeling like someone knows what's going on
and it gives me more to google. On the other hand I would quite like to try for a water birth in the mw unit so hope that wouldn't be off the cards.
That is a bit odd about your double booking appointment!
I guess for pre eclampsia it would be lots and lots of monitoring. I think I have seen strips you can wee on at home to see if there is protein in your urine? No idea if there is anything you can do to prevent it though.
Afternoon everyone. I've been so tired recently I've barely managed any mumsnet time. Just about managing to read, but this thread had dropped off my list. I've just reached the 8 week mark, and have my booking in appointment and scan for later this month. Can't wait to get there - time seems to be going by so slowly. I've been feeling mostly ok with everything recently, still a bit nauseous, but it's only mild. I've found fresh lemon (or the bottled stuff you put on pancakes) and water to be amazing - really helps with the sickness, and has very little sugar etc in, so great to just drink all day. I'm drinking litres of it..
Izzy sorry to hear you had another scare, but very glad everything is fine.
whatmess I hope you get answers to your questions, sounds like the consultant led care is a good thing for you. More monitoring can't be bad really.
mini I hope the tummy issues settle soon. Lots of liquids and fibre for you.
Kitty how did your midwife appointment go? I'm still yet to see one, but not too long now.
mini Despite the relative lack of spots I definitely dont have a pregnant glow. In fact this morning I looked a lot like Id just been dug up from somewhere
whatmess hope you and your DD had a good day at home and you are both feeling a bit better.
stacks great news that you have reached the 8 week mark and thats a good tip about the lemon water.
Waves to izzy and fatima
Well I had that midwife appointment and it was a total waste of time. I couldve just self referred directly to the hospital, she literally just filled a form in. Also I was a bit peed off because we were discussing the two nearest hospitals, and I asked her if there were any major differences between the services they provided, and she just gave me this massive lecture about how she wasnt allowed to make recommendations and it was like asking her to tell me what school to send my children to . She was very unhelpful. So now I wait for a letter with the dates of my scan and booking in appointment.
In other news I have booked an appointment next week with a hypnotherapist/CBT person who specialises in anxiety. At vast expense of course! I seem to have quite a lot of ishoos around the medical side of pregnancy and I had this sudden realisation that theyre not just going to magically go away so I thought I'd better do something about it.
I am going for a private scan tomorrow, eeeeeek. Very very nervous and hoping that I havent imagined the whole pregnancy thing.
Hope you are all having nice evenings. I am home alone so catching up on some very undemanding TV!
Kitty When I had dd the hospital had a visit day, where you could look round the midwife led unit. Something like that might help you to decide.
Just had my scan, all was well and I definitely haven't imagined it! There was a little 7+3 bean with a nice strong heartbeat. me and DH very chuffed.
Hope you are all well today. Thanks for the tip whatmess, I'll definitely look into that.
kitty yay! lovely news. rock on little kittybean! Is 7+3 what you expected?
Hi mini thanks for that, am still feeling absurdly pleased with my kittybean! 7+3 was exactly what I'd worked my dates out at so that was good. Still can't get over hearing the heartbeat!
Hi - I was on 10+ TTC thread too and just spied this thread so thought i'd say hello. I'm 23 weeks now and STILL can't quite believe that we made it to here and that things are going well. Funny how things like longer-than-average TTC affects you for such a long time afterwards. Anyway, glad everyone is doing well!
Hi everyone, just had my booking in appt with the midwife and now know a bit more about the care I'll receive.
Not sure why its called consultant led care. As far as I can tell I have 3 extra appts (incld tests) with the consultant but all the usual ones with the midwife. It looks very similar to what I had with my first baby except a couple of the appts in which I would see the mw are with the consultant instead.
I'm quite happy with this as I doubt I will have the same continuity of care with the consultant as I will with the mw. So a good combo.
Now throwing up 3-4 times every evening and cannot bear the thought of cooking, so DH has taken over the kitchen. Cold is still here and as a result I'm shattered. I really hope this passes soon.
Hope everyone is doing well.
whatmess glad your booking in appointment went well. Will you get any extra scans or anything too?
city I remember you, glad things are going well for you. 23 weeks already, seems like such a long way away for me!
I'm just 9 weeks today and doing ok. Waiting
impatiently for my appointments to come through.
Hi all, had my booking in appt yesterday.
whatmess I have the same thing - a few appointments with the specialists (due to my thyroid) but all the usual midwife appointments otherwise.
city hello, always nice to hear of a long term ttcer getting so far!
Stacks hope your appointments come through soon - have you still not had your booking in appointment through?
Just popping in to see how you are all doing?? Anyone still lurking here?
Hi izzy! How are you getting on, hope all well? Have you had your 20 week scan yet?
I am still lurking in various places. Had 12 week scan last week, baby turned out to be measuring 12+6 when I was expecting 12+2 so a little further along than I anticipated! Was nice to see the baby, it seemed quite sleepy but had a little shuffle about when the sonographer poked my tummy, which was cute. I've been thinking about maternity leave this week and when I might go off, which is making it all feel a bit more real
How is everyone else?
Hi kitty good to hear from you.
I have my scan booked for 26th June. I'm 18weeks just now. Keeping well with a bit of a bump already but it is number 2.
How ru feeling? Past the magic 12 weeks is fab! When is ur due date?
A bit of a bump izzy mine's huge! It's grown two inches in two weeks
I'm 17 weeks tomorrow. Seems to be dragging at the moment. I heard the heard the heartbeat last week but I don't think I've felt any movement yet. I have an anterior placenta though so that could be why.
20 week scan is 3rd July. Can't wait
I've been suffering a bit from SPD/PGP, seeing how it goes to see if I need referral.
How's everyone else?
Fatima I am also huge but in denial! It doesnt help that there are another 3 pregnant ladies at my work to compare to! One of my good friends is also pregnant and due 5 weeks ahead of me so I compare to her as well!
I've only just started to feel movement in the past week and this is my second. I'm heavier than I was when I conceived before so that probably doesn't help I suppose. We can't be due far from each other cos I am 18+2 today.
I had a physio appt yest as I have back problem and also hypermobilty which doesn't help. I have SPD so been fitted for a brace and also a rather sexy huge tubigrip which covers bump! I'm hoping it helps.
We have a wedding this weekend and I have no clue what to wear, I think its a relaxed affair which doesn't help, nor does the weather on Scotland!
Hope everyone else is ok
I had my 12 week scan on 30th May, everything was good though baby slept through it all. Also got back the Downs test results which was 1 in 100,000 which is good to know. Though I wasn't that worried, it's nice to have reassurance.
I got my date through for my 20 week scan, 25th of July. It seems closer having a date for it, though it's still too far away. I was hoping to get DH to let me have a private gender scan at 16w, but he says it's a waste of money.
I have a little bump, but it's mostly invisible to other people. I know my tummy is a different shape, as does DH, but to the casual observer it's still hidden under my clothes. Also, it's much harder to see in profile (looking sideways in the mirror) than when I look down my front. No movement yet either, though I'm waiting impatiently.
I think I maybe have the start of some SPD type things, but I'm hoping it'll turn out to be nothing. Just lots of hip pain, but it is all in my hips, rather than front of pelvis. Right now I feel like when I walk my leg goes too far back and pulls the tendon at the front. I'm only 13w+2, so it would all be very early for problems.
Really glad everyone is doing well.
Just quickly posting to say my SPD isn't at the front either, google PGP which SPD is a type of it may sound more like your hip pain.
Mine's more at the back of my pelvis, especially my sacrum and sacroiliac joints, it also radiates in to my left hip IBroke my coccyx 9 years ago so I don't know if that's contributing to the pain in my sacrum.
I'm hoping it doesn't get worse but I'd like to get referred incase it does, some days I can't even sit down it hurts too much.
Mine started at 7-8weeks so really early!
Thanks Fatima. I've had about 3 weeks of back/hip pain to. It's pain by my tail bone, but also seems to be in my left hip... Maybe I'll go see a physio and get myself checked out. Even if it's just standard aches and pains they may be able to give me some advice.
Hi everyone, just checking in. I'm 16+3 today.
Had a bit of a mare at the 12 week scan, I was given high risk for Downs, Edwards and Patau syndromes. I had a CVS and thankfully the results have come back all clear. And I am having a girl! (a nice reward for the stress of the CVS is getting to find out the sex).
Now impatiently waiting till my 20 week scan (which isn't till I'm 21+3 in fact ) but in the meantime I am keeping myself amused with a heartbeat doppler off amazon!
Hope everyone is well, sorry to hear about the painful backs, hips and pelvises (pelves?) I've been getting what I think are round ligament pains (stabbing pains in the groin area, yay ) but nothing else so far.
16w appointment tomorrow, though will be 17w. Wish me luck.
Good luck Stacks!
I had my 16w appt today, at 17+3. All fine, heartbeat and size all correct. However I've had a tiny amount more spotting, so had to have anti D injection and blood tests as I'm rhesus negative (cue a very boring day spent waiting in hospital)
izzy and fatima hope the 20 week scans went well!
Sorry not checked in for a while. Since becoming pregnant I'm very easily distracted and forgetful!
izzy sorry, I didn't answer your question about my due date. It's 14th december.
fatima how did your 20 week scan go?
minipie sorry you had to go through the hell of high risk results for screening, but I'm so glad all was well. And you are having a little girl! Aw That is really lovely.
stacks was your appointment ok? I had my 16 week check this week and it was a total waste of time. No listening to the heartbeat or measuring, I was a bit disappointed. I must have looked it because she told me that basically the only reason they do 16 week appointments is to break up the time between scans and it was just an opportunity for me to ask questions?! Naturally I couldn't think of a single question.
I haven't felt any movement yet but my bump is getting bigger (along with my bum sadly!) and I have about 3 things in my wardrobe I can still get into so spend a lot of time wondering what on earth to wear.
Sorry to hear of all the pain and discomfort people have been having. I hope it eases up. I haven't had any of that yet really, just occasional stretching feelings in my tummy and weird numbness/tingling in my right butt cheek. Still plenty of time though.
Is everyone planning on going back to work after mat leave? I'm going back but not sure about PT or FT. I could go back PT but we would like to move house in the next couple of years and financially it would be a lot better to go back FT...it's impossible to know how you'll feel though isn't it.
Quick phone post from me to remind me to post later.
Had my 20w scan yesterday and found out it's a boy.
Hi, just checking in! Got my 20 week scan tomorrow (at 21+5).
Congratulations Stacks! Exciting stuff. Everything else look ok on the scan?
Exciting stuff both stacks and minipie. Will you be finding out the sex mini?
I'm 25 weeks and struggling with SPD, I have had physio again today and am now on crutches!
Yes - it's a girl! (actually we found that out at 13 weeks as I had a CVS and they can tell you the sex from that if you want).
Scan all ok, baby absolutely fine - just one slight oddity which is the umbilical cord only has 2 vessels not three as is usual - can be linked to growth issues so I've got to have scans at 28 and 36 weeks. But, no other abnormalities which means everything is likely to be fine. Just can't relax quite yet...
Forgot to say (sorry!) SPD sounds awful, so sorry you are having that. Did you have it when you were pregnant before?
Congratulations on team pink! I had some back pain and had to wear a belt but nothing like this. I feel like I've been kicked by a horse! And in my groin and hio, right side is worse. I have a tubigrip that goes from boobs to hips and a belt with three Velcro straps to hold pelvis together and now the crutches. I've to have accupuncture next week as that can help with pain. All in all not so much fun! Will be worth it in the end!
Jesus that sounds medieval! this pregnancy lark isn't all that well designed is it? hope your acu helps.
So sorry to hear of problems Izzy and Mini. I really hope things improve. I've had a little bit of back and hip pain, but nothing like you Izzy.
Mini, sounds like you've not had a smooth ride so far. Things just keep popping up to keep you worried! I'm sure everything will be fine though, and those extra scans will be reassuring. You deserve a break!
All is ok here. Had a headache for the last few days, and not sleeping well, but nothing serious. Very much looking forward to the weekend.
Thanks Stacks! I do seem to have had quite a few complications. Luckily they are all fairly minor, just lots of them!
<self indulgent whiney list coming up>
thyroid - extra appointments and lots of blood tests
PCOS - glucose test
rhesus negative - anti-D jabs
bleeding in early pg - lots of early scans, plus anti-D once
high risk results at 12 week scan - CVS and anti-D again!
umbilical oddity - 2 more growth scans
I've been in and out of the hospital so many times, it's starting to feel like home . I suppose that is a silver lining, I will be very familiar with it when the time comes!
On the plus side, I've felt generally well - I had very little sickness in the first trimester (just tiredness), and I'm feeling great in the second. No pain like poor izzy. So, in some ways I've lucked out. And TBH I still just feel super lucky to have got and stayed pregnant - I really feel for those on the 10+ months threads who are still trying, the wave of BFPs seems to have stopped .
Hope your sleeping and headaches improve.
Oh dear, my whinge list appears to have killed the thread!
Just bumping to say many congratulations to two more graduates ladygee and LemonDrizzle - so pleased for you both, if you see this, do join us!
Hope everyone is doing well - izzy I hope your pelvis is behaving itself a bit better.
Quite quiet here! I think I might chat and then lurk on the conception thread for longer, it is scary and unbelievable still!
<dips toe into the MN realm beyond conception>
lemons - I'm still lurking on conception and starting to look at pregnancy and antenatal clubs but it all still seems a bit surreal for posting in just yet.
Not sure when it might start to feel less like a dream and more like reality?!?
Waves to everyone else here, hope everyone is well x
I put a toe in yesterday (in my other home, the ESH) and then got petrified it would bring on a MC (surely ). But I notice I do need to go OMG OMG OMG a lot and that seems inappropriate in the 10+ fred at the moment. So I just chat to my friends there and save the I am actually pregnant, OMG OMG OMG for the ESH for now.
Definitely agree with that. I'm keeping up with the 10+ers but think the time's not right for jumping back in. A couple of people have mentioned a more general chat thread, which would be nice.
I also had a look at the due in March/April freds but daren't join there, mainly for the same reasons you said - silly but there you go. They are also rather fast moving and a bit giddy for me at the moment!
How far along are you? Do you have an early scan booked in?
Writing on a forum is not going to bring on a MC, it is NOT. (Brown sludge, which is nothing to worry about according to the nurse, but panics me a lot, is back).
Yes, we got an early scan offered after the pg-blood-test. It is in another 2,5 weeks. Scary stuff! And you? How does it work, when you are clearly in IF-land but get a natural diffage? You are about a month ahead of me, aren't you? I am 4+4, I think.
I've had a bit of brown sludge on and off, seems to have settled down now but it's scary all the same.
I didn't have a blood test but was under the ACU until my scan at 7 weeks, when that was ok they gave me a formal letter to discharge me. I had to hand it in to the midwife at my booking in appt and am now in the land of 'normal' pregnancy. Weird.
Waiting for that scan felt like a lifetime, harder than any two week wait I think. And I promised myself I'd stop worrying if everything was ok but that hasn't happened! I'm now 9 weeks and am trying to hold out for my NHS scan at 12 weeks
but keep googling private scans, which really aren't badly priced after everything we've already spent!
I am actually counting down the days to the early scan (18 sleeps ). We got the blood test at 16dpiui, which is standard practice in my clinic, the numbers say something about the chance of success
and they were very good. Also after the early scan, I think our clinic scans again at 9/10 weeks and if that goes well then discharge... It feels like a lifetime away.
When I panic, I tell myself that we have not gotten this far before, so there is hope of a child, even if this one does not make it. Thanks for sludge sharing, it is scary, but not a proper reason for worries.
hello both! welcome to the other side and all the OMGing you wish .
I didn't have sludge exactly but I did have several small bleeds - had an early scan each time (sonographer got a bit fed up with me I think ) and all was fine but was scary at the time... lying on a hospital bed with dildocam inserted waiting for the sonographer to say good news or bad news. I wonder if you ladies might be more prone to sludge/bit of early bleeding just from your cervixes (cervices?) due to manner of getting diffed?
Lemon hope all goes well at the early scan. lady is your 12 week scan on 12 weeks exactly, or a bit earlier/later?
Hi mini - nice to see you. Sounds like you've had more than your fair share of hospital appointments along the way! How are you? And how far along are you now?
Even though we'd had IVF in February, and were due to go again in August, this diff is au naturel - hence the level of shock and disbelief!! I do tend to have lots of brown spotting throughout my cycles so I think it might have been my body carrying on regardless in those first couple of weeks.
My scan appt has just landed through the post, I'll be 11+6 weeks so at least I don't have to wait too long and I've got a busy couple of weeks at work which should help in passing time. Though that might be wishful thinking...
lemons - the reassurance of your blood test numbers sounds great. And you get another scan at 9/10 weeks you lucky thing!
All fine here thanks - haven't been to hospital for a good couple of weeks now . I'm 25 weeks today, got a proper bump and kicks and everything which is so reassuring.
Oh I'd missed that it was a natural diff for you! Just assumed it was your second IVF go. Wow, that's amazing. Clearly it must be that you just relaxed and it happened
How was your 7 week scan? Did you get a heartbeat or was it too early (I think it is visible from about then?)
Sounds like your 12 week scan is at about the same time as Lemon's early scan then? Hope all goes fabulously well for you both.
Wow mini - that's lovely, a proper bump and kicks feels like another world altogether!!
Of course, I was totally chillaxed and that's why it happened...
not stressing about having my SIL live with us for three months and DH just starting a new job and being at home less and less which all in all meant very little SWI
Even the doctor who did the scan said 'I've looked over and over your notes and I just don't understand how this has happened!'
We did see a lovely strong heartbeat at the scan - cue weeping from both me and DH. I have to keep remembering that moment when I have days of not feeling sick or tired or very pregnant at all!
I am so pleased for your proper miracle lady! And clearly it was the relaxing that did it . I actually had the worst month in a while with this IUI cycle. I don't cope with drugs very well, I discovered. And MrLemon's sample has been better (every bloody time before). SO I clearly did not relax, did not believe, still don't believe it to be honest!
And sorry you had the scares of bleeds in the beginning mini, but jealous of reassuring kicks!
Ample googling taught me that brown sludge is okay, but I still find it scary. I've been sludge free since Friday, so it has been a much better weekend all in all.
When is you 11+9 scan, lady. Mine is in 16 sleeps
Glad you're having a good weekend lemon - and yay for being sludge free!
My scan is also in 16 sleeps - how funny, we can count down the days together
Ooh hello lovely ladies! I haven't checked in here for ages
I am so so pleased for you both, ladygee and lemons. Both incredibly well deserved wins after a hell of a long time trying, and both for two absolutely lovely ladies I hope you are enjoying it. Personally I found the first trimester very stressful but the second was magic in comparison and I don't even google things that much any more.
I am 24 weeks and have a proper bump now, I feel very self conscious as people (strangers on the street) stare a lot. I wasn't expecting that.
We are having a boy, I think I mentioned it on the 10+ thread but not on here.
I am desperate for all the other 10+ ers to get their bfp's but am glad you two are over here now.
Yay for proper bumps kitty and mini. All very exciting.
All is well here, indeed stressful this trimester. But I do feel a little diffed. I have been completely knackered, a bit sicky, and very farty.
Hello again. It's been an age since I checked in here last. Wonderful to see some new arrivals from the 10+ thread. Congratulations to you both, I hope the wait till your scans passes quickly! I remember how slowly those first weeks went by.
I'm just on my way to bed, had my first nct class tonight, and I'm knackered
Haven't checked this thread for ages <waves>
Going to have a read back and will post later.
Got a day off work so i'm trying but not succeeding in getting some housework done
Hi stacks and fatima - how are you both? You must be pretty much there now?
I'm 16 weeks and time is moving a lot quicker than it did in the first three months. Heard the baby's heartbeat yesterday at the hospital, which was amazing.
Anyway, hope you're both well. Would be lovely to hear how you're getting on.
Hello all, steps in shyly and whispers I got my BFP last week after 24 cycles of TTC. I was around on the 10+ers fred from March, so I don't know all of you. But I have had 2 MCs in the past at 6 wks and coming up to 6 weeks this weekend, so quite terrified but at the moment feeling reassuringly pregnant. FX for a sticky one. It feels a bit more homely here than some of the other preggo boards. Anyway, hope you are all well and your bumps are all blooming.
Ladygee I can't believe you are 16 weeks already! And everything going so well, that's amazing Proper big congratulations.
Anyway, just thought I'd sidle in and make myself comfortable. I'm sleepy with constant hunger, sore boobs, slight nausea and constant need to wee. Am I moaning about pregnancy symptoms. Hell no! Bring on more I say! Love it
Hello princess! How wonderful that you are here. Massive congratulations to you lovely lady.
All those symptoms sound very, very good indeed. As you say, bring them on!
I've got everything crossed that this weekend passes quietly and quickly for you x
Hi princess lovely to meet you. I hope you have a nice uneventful weekend, with lots of reassuring pregancy symptoms will you be getting an early 'reassurance' scan? I know some hospitals offer them, but others don't. I had a scan at about 6w as they were worried about the chances of ectopic pregnancy. Couldn't see much there, but it was nice all the same. We had ours a bit early for a heartbeat, which was a shame, but still helped me relax a bit for the next few
I remember how slowly those first weeks passed, time dragged till our 12w scan, then seemed to slow down more till the 20w one. Things are going much quicker now, and its lovely having the reassurance of almost constant movement. I seem to have a little wriggler in there, but still no complaints from me. Just can't believe how close we are now 32w tomorrow!
Only yesterday I found a couple of nice apps for iPhone (my brand new shiny one ) they're called Sprout and Pregnancy+ both have free versions, and really nice descriptions and photos of the baby's development.
Hope everyone is doing well. This is a very quiet thread, but sometimes that's nice. I try and check it often, and if its on my "I'm on" list then I'll see it at least once a day generally. So if anyone wants to chat more...
Hi Stacks and thanks ladygee
Well, the weekend passed. Sloooooowly. Nothing untoward happened on knicker watch and I'm feeling reassuringly nauseous this morning. I also purchased some
hideously unsexy non wired bras from M&S - but my boobs hurt less now as I think the underwire was digging in from my old bras before. They are still tender to the prod, which I have been doing all weekend to reassure myself that everything is ok. Any tips on 'nice' non wired bras or does anyone know of an underwire bra that is safe (and comfy)? I'm not too worried because I only have medium sized boobs (B/C) so the M&S ones are fine under t-shirts and jumpers, it would just be nice to have one that was a bit prettier.
Stacks I'm not sure I'm ready to go for an EP scan just yet. I have an appointment scheduled with my fertility consultant in two weeks, which the GP said I should keep as they may want to scan me then (and also if anything goes wrong I will be entitled to have more tests under NHS guidelines - but lets keep positive!). Although I have a horrid feeling that the pompous old git will send me away with a flea in my ear for wasting his precious time Still I will be 8 weeks at that point and I would feel happier knowing that there should definitely be a heart beat at 8 weeks. I really don't want to freak myself out right now - I've heard of lots of people having scans at 6 weeks and nothing being identifiable or something not being right. I'm already prepared for the worst, so I'm happy to sit it out. I had my progesterone tested privately last week (at 5+2) because I was convinced that this was the problem before, but it was nice and high for me at 61 (my 7DPO was only 30.2). Ooooh I might have to check out those apps, but put them on the last page of apps so I don't give anything away just yet! And WOW 32wks, so not long to go now! You must be really excited to meet your little one. When do you start mat leave?
I'm very chatty on here and I feel much more at home with you guys than with some of the antenatal people. And I think I will probably have to leave the TTCers alone soon. I do feel a bit sad about that, as I have been chatting with them daily for over 7 months now and they are such a lovely bunch. Unlike the antenatal people (not all just some) I think a lot of them were probably ex baby dusters and most of them thought the concept of dildo cam was hilarious having no concept that it even existed. I know I shouldn't be soo cynical but when you've done 24 cycles and 2 MCs, well, someone whose had one positive OPK and then a positive pregnancy test and all the enthusiasm in the world is a little...ahem...annoying?
On that note, back to work for me.
32 weeks stacks, wow! A happy wriggling baby sounds lovely. I'm starting to feel a few flutters now and can't wait for proper kicks and movement that DH can feel too.
Princess - so pleased for you getting past that milestone Worth a mini celebration. And that's great that you've had such a good result for your progesterone. We went to our fertility clinic at 7 weeks and they gave us a scan (even though we hadn't had treatment). We certainly weren't berated for wasting time, the staff seemed genuinely happy for us - and the doctor was a bit shocked!
I haven't needed to change my bras as yet, all my weight seems to be thighs, bum and bump so far! But I think I'll need to investigate more in the next couple of weeks. I think Elle McPherson do nursing/maternity bras - her normal bras are very pretty so I'm hoping the maternity ones might be similar.
I miss the 10 month thread a lot. I know exactly what you mean about the antenatal threads, I still haven't posted anywhere but here and it's for the exact reasons you've said. Though I think I'm just being super-cautious with everything, we still haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant apart from those who knew what we were going through TTC. I think we'll just wait until after 20 weeks now!
The antenatal threads are manic and busy, and there are a lot of people on there which I sometimes find to be just so.. different. They're super confident and have bought everything already at only 10 or 12 weeks. I think the people who've been trying longer tend to stay quite quiet on the threads, though they can be useful for reading and getting an idea of everyone else's symptoms at the same stage.
I also found it hard to be super happy and excited when I got my BFP. I remember how much my hands shook reading those lines, I seriously couldn't believe it had happened. It took a long time for me to start thinking those lines were going to become a baby; it all just seemed a bit soon to be making plans. I think it was after 20 weeks, with regular movements, and knowing it was a boy. Even now though, it still seems a little abstract - the bump is going to become a baby?! I think it's all a very, very different experience when you've been trying a while, or had any MCs. You know so much more about what can go wrong, and what a miracle making a baby is (for anyone) that it's hard to feel relaxed, excited and positve.
We only went through 18 months of trying, and had no reason to think after we finally got pg there would be any problems. All my tests had been fine, and DH had a low but not too bad SA. I think my problem was blocked tubes after surgery, one remains blocked, the other was opened up by the HSG I had - 2 months before my BFP.
princess I'm wearing an ugly M&S bra still. They're comfortable enough, and it's got to the point now it doesn't seem worth investing in a new batch. DH did want me to get some sexy ones, but they're really expensive, and I've never been one to spend much on clothes.
I called my fertility consultant in early pregnancy, to cancel an upcoming appointment. They were very nice on the phone, and asked me to call back after the 12 week scan to let them know all was well. Hopefully yours won't make an issue of you going along when pg, and you'll have an experience more like lady.
The apps are nice, because they start from week 1, and have lovely pictures. Maybe make a folder of boring looking things and hide them in there? I can't hide the bump now, so don't need to hide the apps either
I lost touch with the TTC crowd, after a while I didn't feel comfortable dropping in there and being pg. Not because I don't think I would have been welcome, but just not having much to say. I was so tired those first few weeks my MN activity really dropped. I go back and read sometimes, but it's moved on lots since I was on there, and I wonder if I'm remembered.
lady the flutters are really nice, though it took me a while to decide if I could actually feel anything, or if it was just wind . It was a long time till DH felt any kicks, because they were so hard to predict. I'd say bump was kicking, he'd rush over, then for the next 5 minutes wouldn't move at all. Generally as soon as DH gave up, he'd kick again . We ended up sitting and watching TV for ages with DH's hand on my bump just incase.
The first 'real' kick DH felt made him jump with shock. It was so much stronger than he was expecting and really caught him off guard. It was a lovely moment, and a memory I cherish.
I barely told anyone about being pg, and still haven't done an 'announcement'. After keeping quiet for so long, it seemed weird then to tell people. Also strangely private and personal. I wondered if many people would be interested, and felt weird telling people in work and even our close friends. It's like telling everyone you've had sex
I should get back to work, sigh
Ooooh, I'm glad I'm not the only one about the antenatal threads. I was trying to be so... well... trying to fit in but it felt weird. I have posted on one. But I think I will just lurk because as you say Stacks, I like reading about the symptoms and seeing when people are going for appointments and stuff. I've had a look at the Elle MacPherson bras - good tip Ladygee. I think I'll wait until I'm a bit bigger and maybe treat myself to a soft one (the reviews for the lacy ones are horrible - think 4 boobs and boobs flopping out of bits of bra !)
I am really excited about feeling a kick but that's just ages away. Your story is so lovely, it's so nice to have positive stories about pregnancies from hard earned wins. I'm sure you would be remembered. I organised a meet up ages ago, which is on Sat and I think that will have to be my parting shot for now. Unless something goes wrong in the next few weeks, I think I'll have to become a fully fledged grad. But I will keep in touch as they've become more than just virtual buddies. Still I don't think it's fair on some of the others to be so chatty about pregnancy stuff over there. Especially when so many are having such tough times. But I do love them and it will be sad to leave - any TTCers lurking on this thread - you are loved and if I left I didn't want to!!
I like your idea of a 'boring' folder. I shall do that later
Oh and I'm only so chatty because I work from home and like being a chatterbox on MN
and skiving from real work. Once the day's done, I'm zonked out in bed at 5 or lying like a grumpy teen on the sofa in front of the telly. Zzzzzzzzzz.
Stacks - sounds like we might have fun ahead with the kicks. They really are just fluttering feelings at the moment - think I'm still a good few weeks away from proper kicks. Though I've read - on the Sprout app you mentioned, which is great thank you! - that this week is the week that bones start to get much harder so hopefully it won't be too long! Are you all ready for your little one arriving?
Princess - Hope you're still feeling reassuringly nauseous? During those first weeks I seemed to eat constantly as it was the only think that stopped me feeling sick. Say hello and give my love to everyone at the meet up - it's great that ladies from north and south are meeting!
I am sooo glad it's Friday, it feels like it's been a long week. I'm ready for my holidays, only one more week to go. Think I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy a few more maternity clothes to see me through - leggings and baggy jumpers only get a girl so far!
Hope you all have lovely weekends in store.
Ladygee yup, really nauseous. It was really, really bad yesterday and Wed. I had my first wretch over the loo on Weds, no sick, just a sicky spit. Yeurgh. I seem to have it under control today, eating is the only way! I made breakfast as soon as I woke up, ate exactly 3 hours after breakfast and then had 2 packs of Markies sarnies for lunch over an hour (prawn mayo and then egg, tomato and salad cream). I feel great this arvo although I'm sure the 3 o' clock exhaustion is about to hit. I am sooooo pleased to have all these symptoms this time. And I'll be 7 weeks on Sunday. Only 5 weeks to get to the illusive 12 week mark. I'm much more relaxed now and it's sinking in that it could really happen this time I will say hello to all the ladies tomorrow for you
Happy maternity shopping! Are you going away for your hols or are you just having time off work? We're off on hols next month and I can't wait for sunshine and no work and time with DH.
Have a lovely weekend all
I've had a busy few days here, preparing to go on holiday from work for a week. We're not actually going anywhere, just going to blitz baby preparation.
I don't even have a hospital bag, and nothing to go on one. Nursery just has a chest of drawers in, and no other furniture. Also, house is still a mess from emptying the
storage guest room to make it a nursery
We bought our new car yesterday, it's very snazzy and shiny, but it's kind of stressful to drive just now. I've never driven a shiny car before, and I'm worried I'll crash it, or someone will hit me
Can't read back on phone, so I'll post again later when I've had a chance to read things and remember what was said.
While I think of it, has anyone seen minipie around?
hello, Can I join this thread?
I've just recently 'graduated' from the 10 months ttc group and princess told me about this thread (didn't know it existed until then) and I think it's a better place for me to join as I was a bit of a lurker since my BFP (knowing all the highs and lows that everyone on there is going through makes it difficult to hang around when you know that for now, you're no longer really in the same boat)
Anyway, brief bio - I'm 40 and currently expecting my second. TTC was a bit of hard work for me on both occassions. Took 3 years to conceive my first (no hint of a BFP in all that time, including a failed IVF cycle) and took 21 months to conceive this current bean (but I had a missed mc last year, bleeding at 10 weeks, and scan showed baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks and 6 days)
As of today, I'm a mere 8 weeks pregnant and my first scan seems so far away! I'm starting to go a bit mad with the mentalling, in fact this morning woke up and didn't feel queasy at all (been having a cracker before getting out of bed, but today I felt fine) My tummy was no longer tender and the awful taste in my mouth had subsided. Anyway, not that I'm pessimistic, but I immediately went downstairs and told other half that my pregnancy symptoms appear to have dissipated and that we should expect that this will probably end in a miscarriage. Yes, I know that sound ridiculous, and after checking with Dr Google, realised I may have overeacted, just a tad...
Of course, this afternoon the queasiness and bad taste in my mouth came back, so not sure if I'm out of the game or not, but trying to stay positive (although difficult with a 'glass half empty' attitude!) It's just so hard trying to stay calm when I'm imagining all sorts all the time (and of course paranoid that I'll have another missed m/c). I also know I'll be 41 next year if this bean makes it that far, so I'm thinking this might be last shot for me (not that I'll give up, not sure when that happens!)
Anyway, apologise for all the 'me me me' just wanted to get it all out there and hopefully I can start being a more supportive member from now on in!
Stacks I also procrastinated about the baby stuff with No1 and we didn't buy anything until about the 9th month as I was terrified it was going to 'tempt fate' - and we got totally caught out with the lack of a hospital bag as I ended up getting kept in at my routine 39 wk appointment so husband had to pack the bag (needless to say when he brought it in there was no toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo or anything that might keep me from smelling rank....)
Hi Ele welcome and congrats again! Hope you had a good weekend. I think it's natural to be pessimistic when you've been through the mill. I'm having to take every day as it comes and trying to stay positive. But I do not what you mean about symptom watch. Are you having an early scan?
Stacks I hope your weekend of getting the nursery ready and tidying up the house went well How exciting! We're still renovating our house, it should be ready to move into before Xmas and everything will have been done. We sold most of our old furniture and so we'll be starting from scratch pretty much, which is really exciting. It's also nice to think about the nursery, although I'm not buying anything until we have a baby. I'm just planning to put a list together so that we can push the button when we need to. I do need to measure our bedroom to see if we can fit a kingsize bed and a co-sleeper cot in there too or whether we make do with a moses basket for the first 6 months instead.
Well I met up with some of the lovely 10 +ers over the weekend, which was lovely and I've done my official good bye to the thread. I'm only 7 + 1 today, but I've felt awful this weekend and I've been sick this morning too. So I'm starting to feel more positive that this is the real deal. I've never got past 6 weeks before and I've never had symptoms like this. I didn't get out of bed yesterday unless it was for the toilet until about 5.30pm for a bath and I was clinging to the bed as I had such bad nausea. We're living with the in laws at the moment, so I felt like a sulky teen staying in bed all day. DH had to go and do an egg sandwich and seedless green grape run to M&S for me (I'm turning into a food diva and I'll usually eat anything!). I cried over the smell over cooking onions yesterday morning, and then at Gnomeo and Juliette and then just felt exhausted and sick the rest of the day. DiL thinks it's "tension" and that I will be fine if I "relax". FFS! DH stuck up for me and said, "I think it's to do with hormones and the fact that she's growing a placenta at the moment. Nothing to do with tension, don't be ridiculous!" I've been making him read all of the symptoms each week (he's pleased I've got most - including big boobs!) so that he doesn't think I'm being a wimp. I really feel I've been reduced to a pathetic lump as I'm so used to being busy and getting on with things. I've also been critical of people who just "lie around" in the past, so feel like a massive hypocrite especially as we've a house to finish. Still DH is happy to do renovating and looking after me because after all I'm incubating his sea monkey and rest is important for me. He also said to remember that everyone else seems to lie around at this stage and I should enjoy being lazy and pregnant for the moment. I was instructed to stay in bed, read and watch films on the ipad all day. He's a good DH
Monday morning waves to you all
God just realised it's two weeks since I posted and said I'd post later in the day
Congratulations to everyone who's graduated!
I'm 35+3 today and on my second day of maternity leave, so far today I have done sweet FA. Ah well.
The pregancy has been fine and uncomplicated all the way through, still can't believe the IVF worked first time and that there's an actual
giant baby in my bump
How far along is everyone else?
The only problems i've had have been a bit of SPD/PGP but no where near as bad as Izzy I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable and fed up of having a mouthfull of stomach acid everytime I bend over but apart from that all good.
DH and I really need to start thinking about names! I'll add that to my to do list.
Its getting a bit busier here, which is lovely.
Welcome eleth and congratulations! My symptoms came and went exactly as you describe in fact at 9 weeks I was so convinced that something had gone wrong due to lack of symptoms that we paid for an additional scan but everything was absolutely fine. It seems its quite common for there to be a dip before they come back with a vengeance!
princess sunshine and time off sounds perfect. Ive been a bit of a chicken with holidays abroad so weve decided a week in Cornwall will do us just fine for now. Although the weather is supposed to turn wintry this weekend so well just have to make full use of the spa at the hotel on the chillier days!
stacks a break from work to get baby things sorted sounds lovely. Enjoy! Im in denial but I think were going to be in the market for a new car soon as, despite my best efforts, no pram is going to fit in the boot of my much loved but highly impractical car.
fatima gosh, youre so close now! Enjoy these few weeks before the baby arrives. Are you all ready? Do you know whether its a boy or a girl?
Im 18 weeks now, edging towards that elusive half way mark and itching to have my 20 week scan.
You dropped off my threads list. Been really tired this week, having regular afternoon naps. I'm not looking forward yo going back to work tomorrow just don't think I'll have the energy.
I should have read back before starting a post, forgot you can't read back on the phone at the same time. Just wanted to say hi quickly really. Will post from work tomorrow
Hi all, well I haven't really posted recently because I've been feeling just too rough. I was really ill this morning, about half a bucket of stomach bile just before my breakfast was on its way. I now have sea sickness bands, which I think are starting to help.
Saw the consultant today and he was really pleased and came marching into the registar's room booming "WELL DONE, WELLDONE" and then looked hubby in the eye and said, "what have you been doing differently!"
tempted to say that we discovered you had to put that thing in that hole and why hadn't anyone told us before and then "it's so nice to see pregnant patients" We kinda feel honoured and that we've won the gold and it's starting to feel very real now Only 3 wks and 6 days until we reach the 12 week mark, doesn't feel too far now at all.
We were offered a "viability" scan but we decided that we're happy to wait until next month for the 12 week scan. Every time I've had some sort of scan the sonographers have scared the living daylights out of us and I'm coping well, so I didn't want the worry. Controversial but absolutely the right decision for us. Plus the bountiful spewing and nausea are pretty good feelings that it's all on track.
Stacks hope work is ok and you got everything sorted for your nursery.
Fatima have you got used to being on maternity leave? I've been reading about birthing plans, bags and tips and hints for the big event
is it ok to be quite scared and horrified It is so exciting to think you will meet your little one so soooon awwwwww
Ladygee oh when are you off on hols? We've been thinking Cornwall for a week next summer, when I'll be too big to travel anywhere exciting.
Ele how are you getting on? Inching closer and closer to the 12 week mark now. Do you have all of your booking in / scan appointments made?
Monday afternoon waves to you all
A week away was just what we needed - lots of fresh air, walks, sleep and good food.
I'd highly recommend Cornwall princess, we split our time between Rock and St Ives. All very pretty and lots to do but I can imagine also very busy in Summer. What a lovely response from your consultant and not long to go til your 12 week scan now. Hope you're feeling better?
Just got back home after our 20 week scan and the little one is looking perfect. We resisted the temptation to find out whether the it's a boy or a girl, I nearly crumbled but DH held firm! So it's nursery planning and shopping ahead now - and starting to tell a few more people.
Hope everyone is ok?
Hope everyone is well
Glad you had a lovely hols ladygee - sounds great. I think we will defo consider next year - late April / early May. My sister loves Cornwall and usually stays in / near Watergate Bay and rave reviews it all the time. We must go and check it out as it could be a stressfree option for a nervous flyer of a hubbie when we have a little one. Great that your 20 week scan went so well too As for me, the sickness has gotten worse (taken as a good sign by family and hubby - who are all thrilled). It's at its worst today I can't hold anything down. Plus my hormones are everywhere so I'm a bit of a wreck. But I'm 9 + 4 and only 3 weeks from my 12 week scan. It does seem to be going quite quickly now. I just hope that we make it over these last few hurdles to the scan. I've got my first midwife appointment next week, which is making it seem oddly real. Hols next week and then scan when we get back - so it should fly (fingers crossed).
So, it's all really exciting even if I do feel weak and pathetic at the moment. We also decided on names the other day, despite having had names for nearly 4 years, we've changed the boy one and I've fallen in love with it even though it was DHs choice. I'm convinced it's a boy at this early stage (no idea why), although I have absolutely no preference. Just healthy baby
preferably with small head is fine for me
Fatima you must be edging closer to your due date now?
Ele thinking about you, hoping everything is going really well.
Stacks how are you feeling at the moment?
I think we may have a couple more grads over here soon, there were two other announcements in part 10, but I think they're nervous of what may be, I hope they (and if you are reading Frannie and Heart) make it over here soon!
Well of peppermint tea for you all. Big hugs xxx
God I keep letting this thread drop off my list.
Will update as soon as I finish my latest bout of nesting
How is everyone?
Big congrats to the new grads!
I'm 35 weeks now, I can't believe it. I'm on maternity leave which is very nice. I have been doing a lot of organising and declutttering of the house, but it is all going quite slowly. Things seem to be taking a long time!
The baby is prodding a lot and I get many alien type movements throughout the day
We've been doing Hypnobirthing classes. I highly recommend them if anyone has concerns about birth. Obviously no one can guarantee you a smooth birth but its great for helping you prepare mentally and thinking more positively.
Is anyone else really stiff and achey? I thought all the Relaxin floating around your body was supposed to loosen up all your joints and things but I feel like my whole body is seizing up! I do yoga every week but it seems to make it worse not better
Just a quick "Hi" to get you back on my threads list. Will post more tomorrow.
Hugs to all.
I'm very tentatively joining this thread, if that's ok? I'm 7 weeks and had a scan which showed a heartbeat on Friday. No major symptoms but recently feeling varying degrees of hungover, which gets worse when I'm tired. Absolutely over the moon after 2.5 years of waiting, but still v nervous! I've thought about you all lots since 'graduating' and it's been lovely to read this and see lots of pregnancies going well.
fatima, minipie, stacks and kitty you must be very close now- maternity leave seems like a distant dream! How are you finding it?
princess how's the sickness? How are you feeling generally?
ladygee how are you? Can't believe you were so controlled and still had people to tell after the 20 week scan! I'm struggling to wait til 12 weeks!
What did others do? Did you all have the tests and did you wait til after the results?
ele how are you? Have you had your 12 week scan yet?
Can I also ask what you all did about various jabs- flu, whooping cough etc? I also am going to SE Asia for Xmas and really should have some boosters, according to my medical notes. I'm really not keen on having such a combination of different immunisations. Any advice would be gratefully received!
Hope you all have lovely Sundays!
Wow, it's so quiet on here!
Official welcome to Frannie woooooooooo! So pleased that your scan showed a little heart beat! When do you have your booking in appointment? Have you spoken to your doctor about traveling at Xmas? We only went to the Canaries, so no need for jabs, I had my flu jab at 4 + 5. I found travelling ok, but nearly passed out in the queue on to the plane, then vommed and then spent the first 30 minutes being sick once we got to our seats, I then had a sleep and a sandwich and was fine. I just told the staff when I got on board in case I needed help and kept a bottle of water with me at all times. We ate almost exclusively in the hotel, because I was tired by 8pm most nights and it meant that we didn't have to dress up for dinner. I also trusted the food and wasn't worried about food poisoning. Room service was simple stuff and I just couldn't stomach anything fancy. However, you don't sound like you are suffering with the sickness so I'm sure you'll be fine. If anything, the holiday did us the world of good and we had a lovely time completely chilling out. Sad to be home in the rain
I'm 12 + 1, seems like a huge milestone to have reached and we have the scan on Thursday...excited and terrified at the same time. FX it's all ok and then we can officially start telling people
I had my booking in before we went away on holiday and I dislike my community midwife VERY much. I guess I'll just have to get used to her. She is very old and said some very strange things to us given our circumstances.
Plus she is a very large lady and had huge hands, that kinda scared me for further down the line She didn't upset me because I'm impervious to twatty medical professionals after the last 3.5 years but DH was really miffed at her attitude. Especially when she told us she'd seen so many girls who had had problems, gone on holiday, got drunk, relaxed and then fallen pregnant... She assumed that this had been the case for us. It wasn't! She also said that she wouldn't be giving us any of the official documents / bounty packs until later on because of my history of miscarriage and "you never know dear"!! Oh and then we asked her about travelling and she said, well air travel in the first trimester isn't great (directly contradicting the NHS website). We'll see how it goes next time. Anyway, we're considering maybe a doula or independant midwife despite hospital birth if things don't get better with the midwife. I need to trust this women and I'm getting bad vibes at the moment.
So, the sickness was at it's worst for the first few days of the hols, including the flight out which was really unpleasant. Then disappeared for a week and seems to be back on the agenda as of last night and this morning sigh I will keep reminding myself that it will be gone soon. Just a few more weeks.
I'm also into maternity jeans, despite only having gained 4lbs DH said that by the end of the holiday you could see the tiny bump when I was lying down on the sun lounger. Thing is, I just feel podgy and would really like the bump to emerge so I don't look like I've eaten too many pies!
Right, back to le grand catch up at work. Hope everyone has a lovely day
Thanks princess. Not got any time to post tonight but glad you had a good hol and good luck for the scan tomorrow- how exciting! Will catch up with you tomorrow.
Where is everyone? Xx
So I've had my scan today, we're officially 12 + 3 and due date is 10th June. Everything is in the right place and developing as it should be. We saw the bran, heart, tummy, fingers and toes - really incredible. It was a bit of a shock to see a baby in there and I just sobbed the whole way through. The sonographer said, "well even if you're not relaxed this baby is very chilled" gave my tummy a prod with the probe and there was a flurry of kicking and arm waving - we couldn't believe it! Thrilled doesn't even touch the sides. I can't stop looking at the pictures - it's so surreal after such a long time of trying. And one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I think I can relax a little bit now and hope the sickness goes in a few days time. It's easing, but it's not gone yet. Oh I just can't wait to meet the little 'un now. It's so real!
Hope you are all well. Stacks have you had your baby yet? And Fatima?
Loads of love xxx
Sorry I've been so quiet... I'm ridiculously busy with work and the usual pre-Christmas social life demands have kicked in so have had no time at all to check MN, or do much else to be honest.
Hello frannie - amazing to see you here! Yay for the early scan. Hope you're feeling ok? You can't be that far off your 12 week scan now?
Princess - wahoo for your 12 week scan, brilliant news. I've had tears in my eyes at every scan - the magic doesn't go away! So pleased you had a lovely holiday too, it sounds perfect. Now you can start to relax a bit more and look forward to Christmas. Are you still with the inlaws?
Well, I'm 23 weeks now and have entered the weird and wonderful stage of being able to not just feel massive kicks but see my belly moving from the outside. I'd resigned myself to not feeling much at all because I have an anterior placenta but it doesn't seem to be stopping the little one getting through! DH and I have spent way too long just sitting and staring at my stomach, waiting for it to move and then bursting into giggles when it does. A new form of entertainment - amazing. There is no mistaking there's a real little baby in there now!
I've also got more energy than I've had for months but unfortunately work is taking up all my time so rather than me being able to shop and plan the nursery I'm travelling across the country for silly meetings and doing 12hr days. Maternity leave is still a while away but I cannot wait!
I'm sure we must be due some babies on here soon...
Hello all! Can I join please? I'm 10+6 and haven't been brave enough to say hello until now (still in denial about this one after two years, two ops and one miscarriage). Starting to feel braver as time goes on though and it feels weird posting on the 10+ thread still. I've got my 12 week scan in 2 weeks at 12+5 and hoping praying everything will be ok.
Congrats congrats congrats to princess, what a fantastic day. I think we will be due very close to each other, my nine week scan put me at June 18, but they told me to stick to my calendar dates till I have the proper dating scan. About your community midwife - could you switch to another one? I like mine but she also gave me phone numbers of two others that work in the area in case I needed to speak to someone on her day off. Could you ask at your GP surgery if it's possible to switch? I think they also have senior midwives in the area that you can go to with any concerns.
Hello also to lady and frannie - glad there are a few of us here, I can't join any of the other clubs because of all the babydusters!
Hello Heart lovely to see you over here. Can't believe your nearly at the 12 mark! And not long til your dating scan either - how exciting. I totally get the nerves, I was a wreck yesterday morning. But I'm still awestruck by yesterday and keep looking at the little pics. There is only the one community midwife for my village as far as I'm aware but they've moved them out of the GP surgery to the hospital, so if we have another bad appointment in a few weeks time we may try and change if we can.
I totally get you on the babydusters. I'm trying to persist with the June antenatal thread but I'm not getting on that well. I think I may just hide the thread and stay here! Plus I should really be working rather than hanging around MN all the time too!
Ladygee I can't wait to feel and see kicks, is sounds fab. I still can't believe how far along you are now! It seems like we wait to get pregnant for an age and then when it does happen it happens so quickly! And yes, DH told me I had visibly relaxed in my face yesterday when we went for dinner last night. Yesterday was such a relief. When have you decided to go on maternity leave?
Big hugs and waves to all of the others. Is there any news on the baby front yet? Tell all!
Friday waves to everyone
Hello again. Sorry for radio silence, starting maternity leave was good, but I spent the first week tidying up to have friends round, then the weekend recovering. I've now come down with
man flu a cold and am struggling. Had it all week, and just really hope it starts to clear up over the weekend.
I'm 38+5 today, and still no baby. Everything is still looking good at my midwife appointments, and mini stacks is wriggling away in there almost constantly. I'm really hoping he comes around his due date, as I'd like time to settle with him before Christmas.
This cold has filled my head with pain and snot, so struggling with names. Sorry.
I'm glad someone's 12w scan went well, I loved the experience of mine. Baby just seemed so baby-like in his movements. Seeing him kick and stretch when woken up by sonographer, then turn over and go back to sleep
Hope other scan goes well too. It's soo long waiting for that 12w scan, but so lovely when you get there.
Hoping morning sickness and things get better soon. It's nice when the tiredness passes too. It's back with a vengeance now for me in the 3rd tri, but the bit in the middle is good
even if I never glowed.
So glad you're getting all those kicks. I still sit and watch my bump move as mini stacks throws himself around in there. It's amazing (and kind of scary) how much your bump can move as they get bigger and stronger. Much less room now for mini me though, so it's just ripples and the occasional lurch now.
Really sorry I've not name checked properly. A big welcome to the
not so new graduates though. The due date threads run so fast that its nice to have a retreat to go to.
If anyone would like to come over to the "No Brooking" thread, it's a lovely place too. We always welcome new people, and it's nice to have many stages of pregnant people around for advice. Quite a few people there were also trying for a while, so understand the anxieties.
You're all back on my thread list now, so I should post more. [hugs]
Oh, meant to say princess there should be a 'supervisor of midwives' in your area that you can make a complaint to about your midwife, she'll be best to tell you about your options for changing too. I got all those details when I booked in (though it sounds like she may have refused to give you them with her unhelpful pessimism!).
They need to get complaints to improve their service, and I'm sure you won't be the only person to have trouble with her (she sounds awful). You need to be comfortable with your care provider, and there has to be someone else you can see, or shed be on call 24/7 which just isn't possible. However, if she is the only 'community' midwife you are unlikely to have here on the ward/suite for labour.
Thanks Stacks I'll keep all of that in mind. She gets one more chance and then we'll have to contact the supervisor of midwives if we're not happy. I guess we're just resigned to this sort of behaviour and have accepted it - the fertility doctors we saw were hardly compassionate, sympathetic or kindly types. And I had to change GP at one point too (I'm sure it's not me and I'm just unlucky - I hope so anyway!) Also we're new to this particular game so don't know what to expect or how things will are supposed to work or how we're supposed to be treated - but I just assumed she would do antenatal care and deliver our baby - but thinking about it, that's not very practical and I expect it will be someone else on the labour ward. But you are totally right, if we're finding her hard work for the antenatal care then other people must be too and something should be said.
Not long at all until your LO makes their appearance. How lovely! I hope you're taking good care of yourself and resting up. xx
princess that is fantastic news. So pleased for you that all is happy and healthy- it must have been amazing to see. My scan is in 2 and a half weeks but Iw won't quite be 12 weeks, as that falls when we're away. Hope that the sickness has totally stopped since your last post and that you're able to start enjoying your pregnancy now.
heart hello! . Good luck with the 12 week scan- hope all goes well. Totally with you and the baby dusting (and some people are so aggressive on some threads!- it's such a shock from the lovely 10 plussers!)
ladygee and stacks it must be so exciting to see them move. I think that's when I
might stop feeling totally paranoid every waking moment. Hope you're enjoying your maternity stacks. Was it you that was off work with a bad back? Can't remember, but hope it hasn't affected the pregnancy if it was.
All ok here but symptoms are weak which makes me endlessly worried. The knicker checking and boob prodding makes me feel like this is the longest 2 ww ever! Trying to be positive though! The GP has decided not to inoculate me for Asian travel over Xmas as where I'm going is fairly low risk but I have a list of a million things I can't eat and shall be bathing in anti-bac gel and mozzie repellant (anyone know of any preggo friendly brands?). I did book the hol thinking 'so come on then finger.....give me the most inconvenient and ironic BFP that you can!!' And it did! So, I shall stick to the rules but still enjoy what I'm hoping will be the last hol with just the 2 of us!
How's everyone's Christmas shopping going?
So sorry for not posting for weeks (or rather months!) but I got really bad morning sickness (not as bad as with my son, but for some reason, coped less well this time). Anyway, I'm 15 weeks on Tuesday, currently signed off work due to the MS (feel a bit better now - for weeks couldn't go on laptop as within a minute or two I'd feel nauseas). So feel up to getting back in touch.
Things are going well (apart from the nausea etc :-) Scan was good, and we opted for the screening tests (due to my age, as I'm 40) and was pretty sure we'd need an amnio as age alone puts me at highrisk, but we got a low risk results, so we've decided to skip the amnio and we're just looking forward to delivery day (quite frankly, I can't wait, life is pretty miserable just now, and I fear this time (like last time) there will be no 'second semester' joy for me, and it will be same old same old. Still, things are going well and that is the main thing (that's what I keep telling myself anyway)
Great to see so many familiar names from the TTC 10 months board, lovely to know we've made it, and fingers crossed it all goes well.
I've missed way too much to do a catch up email in this message, but will try and keep track of things from now on.
best wishes to all!
Eleth sorry the MS has been so bad for you but glad your doc has signed you off so you can rest at home. What is your due date?
Frannie my symptoms have been really weak too. I'm worried about it too, although I had a good 9 week scan. It's weird, I'll be 12 weeks in a few days, and aside from sore, larger boobs and getting up to pee in the night I wouldn't know I was pg. Hope I still am. I have
mentalled read a lot of threads / websites with a lot of people saying they didn't have many symptoms and the babies were fine. Indeed, from my own experience, I had stronger symptoms last pg, and that didn't end well at all! So all we can do is wait and see what happens. I will be sobbing through my scan whichever way it goes, I know.
Any news from Fatima? Hope you are ok! And how are you doing Stacks? We are waiting with baited breath! And glad you are getting on ok ladygee.
princess how are you getting on with making the big announcement? What a great way to end the year.
hugs to all
Just quickly swinging by...
Yay Eleth so glad that you are still here. I was wondering about you. Sorry you have been so ill. That sucks. Time really has flown tho. Hope you feel much better soon.
Heart I would consider yourself very very very very lucky with weak symptoms. I'm sure everything is absolutely perfect. I understand the trepidation about your 12 week scan, I keep welling up about ours last week. That little picture is so special.
We have very much enjoyed telling EVERYONE (we're not discreet people) and because EVERYONE already new about our TTC woes, they are all really thrilled. I think I made most of our female friends cry last week with my text. It's nice to feel loved and that people are really, genuinely pleased for us.
I have been spewing for England (although I hear it's tres fashionable these days and exhausted and normal life has been difficult to get on with and I'm a very suck it up and get on with it person usually. This little monkey seems to have floored me! I'm hoping that next week, the 14th will see in the 'blooming' phase of the 2nd trimester. I thought things had been easing but this week has been a bloody nightmare with the puke.
Another weird thing happened last night, my tummy was rigid, really really hard and not in a windy way and then this morning seems to have popped out (I'm 13 + 2). I now have a bump! I could kinda hold it in before or it was only noticeable that my belly wasn't flat when I was lying down. But now it's really out there! Anyone else have this? I feel it's a little on the early side?!!?!?!
Also, really looking forward to a pregnant Xmas. I've had 3 barren and sad years. And now I get a happy one! It's nice to go into Xmas feeling positive and to reach another birthday milestone feeling like life is back on track. Ok, sounds a bit melodramatic but I'm so happy right now
even if I am missing winter pimms and mulled cider this year!!
Love to you all. Can't wait to hear the news from the 10 plussers ready to pop! xxx
Hi heart my estimated due date is 28 May 2012, keep trying to telly myself not long now :-)
I'm signed off to the end of this week so am planning on trying going back to work on Monday to see how it goes (with freezer bags in my handbag, just in case..)
I'd try not to worry (easier said than done) about not having many strong symptoms, most of my friends have sailed through the first trimester with no symptoms at all and all was absolutely fine - it's so hard not to to worry (i remember not feeling nauseaus one morning about week 8 and becoming convinced that it had all went wrong, only to find the nausea returning with a veangance from then on in - I tried to control my irrational fears from then on in). I hope your scan goes/went well!
princess much sympathy for the morning sickness, I share your hope that one day it will go and I'll start blooming - but 15 weeks now and no 'bloom' in sight (still you never know). I know what you mean about the joy of the scan though, it is just so reassuring to see the little bean looking like a baby and moving about. I wasn't sure how I'd cope with the scan, since the last one I had was after a miscarriage and it was all black, so I was a bit nervous, but as soon as we both saw it, it was amazing we just felt so happy - I have my 20 week scan on 9 January and cannot wait!
Well, back to bargain hunt for me! Lots of love and best wishes to everyone (looking forward to birth announcments!)
Afternoon everyone. Still no baby here, but due date isn't until Sunday. He's showed no signs of wanting to come out, so I'm expecting to go overdue. Quite calm about it all really
I had very mild symptoms in first tri - just nausea most days, was never sick or even felt close to it. Tiredness was my main problem, I'd be falling asleep on the sofa by 7pm! I found it a little worrying, but I think it helped that there were no sudden changes in symptoms.
Been out doing Christmas shopping this afternoon. Spent 5 hours walking around, and only managed to buy myself some pjs. Oops. Internet shopping this weekend I think!
Might see about putting the tree up too, still a bit early, but with a baby coming maybe best to be done soon.
Glad to hear you're all doing well. I really should make more of an effort to keep up to date, just really struggling with tiredness now. [hugs] for all.
Hello ladies, I've been lurking for a couple of weeks, trying to build up courage to join, don't know why I'm so afraid, ridiculous!
I'm 8+2 and just this morning trying to book my 12 week scan (overseas and private, so have to organise yourself). We then move back to the UK at around 16 weeks and will be in a scramble to get a GP/referral to midwife/book 20 week scan etc, which I've just thought of while writing this post and am now slightly worried about Amazing how you can create things to worry about
All good here - low level nausea and hunger- definitely avoidable if eat regularly (I will be enormous and dread it!), exhausted (napped for 2 hours yesterday afternoon and then slept for 9 hours last night) and the sore breasts - I am not well endowed, but turning over in bed is really quite tender - fine when wearing a bra during the day, sore when running even with very supportive bra - very new for me, have new found respect for larger breasted ladies who run !!!
Trying to keep up some exercise, but struggling to find the time with all the napping
It feels like the next 7 months will take forever! We have guests staying at the moment and had to tell them because it was quite obvious - really would have preferred to keep it our little secret. Am in a quandry about telling family. Would like to tell immediate family even though early, but MIL (who I love very much) has the biggest mouth on the planet and would fail miserably at not telling other people we wouldn't share with until 12 weeks - the 12 week deadline is bizarre isn't it!? I'm hoping this kind of thing remains our only concern for the next 7 months
Look forward to hearing about imminent arrivals - will make Christmas very special stacks And princess hope you feel better soon!
Hello Mellow really lovely to see you over here. Welcome aboard! Really pleased that everything is progressing well and how exciting that you are moving back to the UK! Do you know where you're moving to yet? Will it be near either sets of parents / relatives? Maybe you could contact the GP and explain your situation or just use a parents address to get an appointment in place? Although saying that I wouldn't panic too much as I've been booking appointments about 4 weeks ahead with no problems, so fingers crossed it will be the same for you. My 20 week scan was done automatically after my 12 week scan, but I'm sure they must have room for others / emergencies etc. We also had to change GP before I could see the midwife in our new area (we're between houses at the mo) and it was all done very quickly. I have done noooo exercise and am struggling to even get out of the house with the sickness, so far this week I have been seen throwing up into a bag on the way back from the shops in PiLs village, clutching a trolley in Waitrose and then puking in a bag outside and vomming into various bags in the car. I also have bucket time in the morning after my first wee. It's so cold out there too - it's hardly inspiring me to get out and about!! Brrrr!! Luckily I'm not putting on a tonne of weight, just have a bigger tummy but I would like to be doing more. I'm signing up for pregnancy yoga in Jan - can't wait. And hopefully everything will have settled by then.
Stacks only 2 days until your due date! How exciting! And if he's late you'll have a proper Xmas baby (like me!) Don't listen to any nonsense spouted about babies being born too close to Xmas having rubbish birthdays - it's all lies. I get uber excited about Xmas and birthday week (my birthday is 29th Dec) because a) i've never had to go to school / work on my birthday b) I get Xmas eve, Xmas day, Boxing day, sales day, birthday eve, birthday, birthday boxing day and then New year c) if you are disappointed that a present didn't turn up from Santa you usually get it for your birthday instead and I'm sure the same applies vice versa to those with birthdays shortly before Xmas. d) everyone is always up for a party at this time of year. Hoorah! Can you tell I'm excited? Can't wait to hear the happy news in a few days time!
Ele sympathy back. Glad you are enjoying time off work. Hope you have a nice restful weekend and it goes ok on Monday. Not long til your 20 week scan, mine's on the 23/01 - can't wait.
Well we're currently in an uber stressy situation with our house renovation. Our bastard plumber walked off the job on Monday morning, because we didn't return one phone call that he made last Thursday. Apparently in his mind that's giving someone the run-around
Nothing to do with the fact he's got too much on and has recommend us as the awful clients that we are to his good friend It would appear that the work he has done is poor but he wants to charge us for his time at his day rate, even though he quoted us a fixed fee for the whole job. Sigh. Plus he has a key to our house, sent in a sub-contracter (friend mentioned above) to do some of the work and gave him the key to our house without our permission. As I fear it could get nasty we've changed the locks as a precaution. Double sigh. Not what we needed just before Xmas. I was hoping to have a night there on New Years Eve too in the toasty warm with the new heating system in place. Luckily we have a new plumber in to do a quote and to size up the job today. I've also been in touch with citizens advice bureau and we don't have to pay cowboy builder if the new plumber is going to cost more to put the work right. It's tres awkward though as the cowboy plumber is my best friend's husband's close friend (they often go on hols together) and makes future social gatherings really difficult - I never want to see this man again. I would say that we should just pay him to keep the peace but we can't afford it at the moment. It's been keeping me awake a bit but OH says not to worry and that he'll sort it out. I have to rest and not be stressed. Meh. Anyway, it will all be ok and OH is right there are more important things right now.
Waves to everyone else and lots of festive cheer too, I'm starting to feel really Christmassy at the moment
Thanks princess - very stressful having work done/plumber complications. Hope it gets sorted out soon, I'm sure that in no time this will all be a distant memory. And it will be so nice to be in your new home - when do you anticipate moving?
We're moving back to London and nowhere near family- I think I'm probably still registered with the GP we were with 2 yrs ago so might try to contact them for a referral for scan etc.
I know I'm lucky to feel ok - exercise does seem to actually help a bit - other movement not so good - from never having car sickness in my life, any journey, however short, in a moving vehicle has me heaving...
And I have learned that I can't get out of bed without eating something or else I'm hanging over the sink - same about getting up to pee in the middle of the night. I haven't actually vomited, fingers crossed it stays that way. When did you start vomiting?
Not feeling Christmassy yet - in the southern hemisphere, so just doesn't feel right - but hope to get in the mood a bit closer to the time!
Hey Mellow the rollicking puking started from week 8ish and peaked at week 10 and has eased to puking just in the morning, although it was a few times this morning and I've felt queasy for the rest of the day. It comes and goes and I don't always feel awful, it's just the not knowing when it's going to hit!! As I head to the 14 week, developed placenta stage next week I'm hoping things ease up but it has become just a way of life at the moment. And I don't mind trading periods for puking
Happy weekends to everyone. A nice preggo friendly for everyone (mine's a dairy laden hot choc mmmm-hmmmm [hsmile]
Princess much much sympathy with the building woes - we also had the misfortune to hire cowboy builders when we were ttc No1 - I hold them partially responsible for the fact that it took me 3 years to conceive - the amount of stress was unbelievable.
Still, you do get there in the end and as you say, you've got something that is way more important than some dodgy plumber in your life, in time any social awkwardness will melt away, and you've got to remember it's his place to feel awkward not you! (it was our close friend's brother in law who screwed up our building work, so can appreciate the social concerns).
I'm feeling a bit down today, the morning sickness is getting better I think, but me, my OH and DS were meant to be going on the 'santa express' today, and I've had to duck out as its an hour drive there, 40 minute train journey then an hours drive back, and I know I can't do that much travelling and I refuse to be sick on the santa express! My DS will still have a great time, but I feel gutted this was booked months ago and is meant to a lovely family trip out, but yet again i'm having to be the 'crap mummy' staying at home doing nothing all the time as I feel crap :-(
I know it will pass and as I start to feel better I'll get involved in things again, but feeling really rubbish sitting in by myself.
On the bright side, OH put up the xmas tree and decorations yesterday so for all the livingroom is a complete mess it does look festive which is nice :-)
mellow as a large breasted lady I can verify that running is not good and regardless of the 'impact level' of the sports bra I wore, I would still end up with chaffing (and sometimes bruising/bleeding) round the shoulder straps - I would always swear I would just walk briskly on the treadmill, but it was so boring!
ele sorry to hear you missed the santa express, but you're not a crap mummy - I can identify with moving being associated with nausea and would have been the same as you!
I can't get over how bloated I am - and how quickly I'm growing out of my clothes - and I'm only 8+5 - eek! Did you all have this as well or am I alone in my chubbiness? I am normally quite slim and wear slim-fitting clothes which I think is part of the problem.
I was just reading the july 2013 thread and agree with whoever said up thread that I don't think I can join them - it is all a bit too much and it still feels too unreal so far. We've booked our scan for the 9th January - which is 13 weeks - they refused to do it any sooner because apparently that is the most accurate (v annoying!) Seems a lifetime away, but we're so busy over Christmas that I'm sure it will fly past.
any word stacks ?
Still no sign of LO here. I'm a few days overdue now, but quite relaxed about it really. I'd like baby to come tomorrow so he gets a good birthdate
I must say, the whole baby thing still seems somewhat unreal and too good to be true. I keep telling myself it is going to happen, I will have a baby soon... But I just can't make it feel real. I think I'm going to have to see him, hold him, and take him home before I really truly believe I'm as lucky as I am.
Hope you are all doing well. I can't give much more than sympathy to you for morning sickness. I was incredibly lucky not to suffer with it. Have you tried drinking citrus? Lemon and lime juice mixed with water/soda was a god send for me with the nausea.
We put our Christmas tree up yesterday. It's a bit early really, but I wanted it up before baby came. Wrapping presents today, then I think I'm going to try some gentle wii fit and see if I can't get this baby to come.
Hi Stacks that's so exciting, just think any day now, you're going to have an amazing little baby in your life :-)
I have to say when I was pregnant with my son, I couldn't really believe that a baby was going to come out of the bump. I remember meeting up with antenatal folk who delivered a week before me, and it just seemed totally surreal that one minute you have a large bump and the next minute you have a totally new and unique individual to look after, I remember not even holding their babies when offered as I totally doubted my ability to hold such a vulnerable being!
Mellow my 20 week scan is on 9th January, so will be thinking of you seeing your little wriggling baby for the first time - exciting times ahead for us all! Clothes-wise I'm only now finding my jeans etc a wee bit tight, can still fit me, but I find the stretchy maternity trousers more comfortable on fledgling bump, although some of them are still a bit too big for me yet. I think it will show up on you more when you're slim to start with (not a problem for me!)
that you're 7 weeks ahead of me and only now finding your jeans a bit tight! The bloating is intermittent (she said defensively) - and my skinny jeans are completely fine
because they're elasticated !
I have felt nauseated all day today and am starting to worry a bit about my work - I'm self-employed and have been extremely unproductive in the last 2 weeks and need to get it together!
I have a lot to do before we return to the UK in February and the more I don't do now, the worse it'll be in the New Year.
MrsMellow I'm 14 weeks and have been in maternity jeans since week 10. I could squeeze into my skinny (non forgiving) size 12 jeans at that point but they were starting to hurt. I don't seem to have put weight on anywhere else (besides boobs) and my tummy is hard and defined into a small bump. My face is a little fuller but that's ok. To the untrained eye, my belly just looks podgey and I'm looking forward to having a proper bump. My maternity jeans (also size 12 from ASOS) are massive and keep falling down. Plenty of room and really comfy. Love them I think we'll all expand at different rates anyway, so don't worry! Good luck with moving preparations.
Ele Thank you for your words re cowboy plumber. The situation is resolved. We're only down £200 and although it stings to have to pay him at all it could have been so much worse and we've put it down to experience. We'll never use friends or friends of friends again. Ever. The new plumber can come in next week and get us back up to speed so it feels like a weight has been lifted. We have electricity again too. Wooo hooo!
Stacks any news on the bubba? I was amazed at how composed your post was the other day. A breezy, "oh I'm just off to do some wii fit to get this show on the road" wowsers, I'm in awe! I hope he makes an appearance soon. How exciting! I think I'm only just getting used to being pregnant, which seems very different to having a new human being. Exciting times.
So we think we've chosen our pram or should I say, travel system We're off to have a look 'round John Lewis on Saturday after the works Xmas do on Friday. We're lucky, being the bosses daughter we get to stay up in town with the boss and his wife (a.k.a. ridiculously excited grandma to be) at a naice hotel. So we're going to have a little look 'round some shops on Saturday morning. We're also on the look out for a new car as mine is tiny and has been very faithful for the last 9 years (I've had him since new, will be sad to see him go) but he is not practical for car seats, travel systems and all of the other required baby crap. I think we'll have to get a loan as we're nearly through our savings finishing the house. It is dawning that this is all happening and we're going to become 2 responsible parents (not just adults) and we'll lose my wage next year when I'm on maternity. Anyone else freaking out about this stuff? I'm calm but wondering how we'll juggle everything!
Waves and loves to Frannie, Heart and Ladygee and anyone else I've missed. Wow, quite a few of us on here now!
Oh oh oh
or should that be ho ho ho is anyone else totally excited about Xmas yet?
Still no baby here. I feel bad as my posts don't name check people, but I find it so hard on the phone app, as you can't look back to check what's been said.
I'm glad plumbers are sorted. I need to get in touch with the electrician who put in our kitchen in August. They never gave us the certificate for the new fuse box. I just keep putting it off, but it has to be done. When I do call him he just gives me an excuse, and I alwys just accept it. Sigh.
I was in maternity clothes quite early, but only really because I had them (second hand from sister). I could get into certain of my pre-pg clothes for ages, however trousers were a problem when sitting down, as the waistband would dig in. Fine when standing though. At 40w I'm still wearing some if my pre-pg clothes - tshirts, jumpers and my coat. I think I buy clothes too baggy!
Hi princess it's amazing how much crap you have to put in your car when you're transporting a baby. We've found that you almost take the same amount of stuff for a single overnight stay as you do for a fornight (the only difference is we have one bag of our clothes for a fortnight, the rest of the car is filled with all his stuff!).
My son is due to go up a carseat size soon, so we sort of feel we need to get a new car in the spring, which is a shame as our current car was an emergency buy (our car went in for MOT and got condemned) and we only paid £600 for it, and apart from higher petrol consumption it runs like a dream! Sadly, the car seat I want to buy doesn't fit our current model, so thats why we need to buy a new car, ideally before this baby arrives (we're going for a MPV - sad, but true!).
I always feel slightly sad when we wave goodbye to a car, you always have so many memories associated with them.
Stacks how far overdue are you? Do you have another week or so before they start harassing you for an induction?
I was at docs again today and have been signed off until the end of next week, when I then have 2 weeks holidays. So I'm hoping (and praying!) that by the time I start back on 7th january this horrid morning sickness will be a thing of the past (please please please!!!)
Hi ele fingers crossed for morning sickness to pass by Jan, I'm sure it will.
It is stinking hot with us (I know, very unreasonable of me to tell you all )
I had a couple of days with minimal symptoms and some pink discharge this morning so had a small freakout, but am so sick and exhausted this afternoon I feel very reassured...
It is going to be a long 7 months!
Hi mellow how are you feeling today? Still sick and exhausted?
I keep trying to tell myself that it's a good sign, that I should be grateful that I'm ill, that it means I'm less likely to miscarry (ya da ya da) but then I think, I've known so many women who had completely symptom free pregnancies and went on to have perfectly healthy babies - I think, why not me?
I think I'm getting better, not well enough to leave the house or anything, but I think the nausea is getting less severe, I just hope its bearable for xmas (be gutted if I miss out on all the lovely xmas food - I love food and keep dreaming of stuff I want to eat - whilst knowing that right now, it probably wouldn't be a good idea :-)
Of course being off during the day, and watching all those cookery and 'come dine with me' programmes isn't really keeping my mind off food :-D
How are you today Ele and Mellow? I hope the sickness is easing a bit for you both. I think the advice is to eat whatever you can manage, even if its just junk food. You can get anti sickness drugs from the doctors which are safe in pregnancy too - maybe go have a chat with your doctor? Even if it only helps you get one good meal a day (or helps you enjoy just Christmas Day sickness free) it would be good for you.
Well there's still no sign of baby here. Went to midwife for a sweep yesterday, but cervix still too high to reach so she didn't do it. Booked for another sweep on Thursday, then a scan to check his position before induction on Sat morning. I'm lucky in that I'm still quite comfortable for the most part, so trying to be patient and keep active to try and convince baby to come out into the cold. I'm now 40+9...
How are you princess, lady, heart and frannie? Doing well I hope? Has everyone started their Christmas holidays now?
Stacks are you getting all the "eat a hot curry" / "have a shag" comments? I always think babies come when they are ready. But exciting that you know the end date now... I'm nervous about sweeps. But I think that's more to do with the size of my midwifes hands !!! Oh good luck this week. Are you doing any nice Xmassy things to pass the time? I think I would be on the sofa with a tin of sweets and some Xmas movies. I finish work on Friday and then fly to my parents with DH on Saturday. So can't wait to finish and have a rest. I'm exhausted as it seems to have been a bit non stop the last few weeks. I have no stamina left anymore. I tire far too easily!
Ele glad you are feeling better, though you sound like you've been really suffering - you poor, poor thing I hope it passes in time for a massive Xmas dinner. I had my first turkey roast on Friday at our work do and it was delish and not to mega either. Have you been prescribed any anti-nausea tablets? I really feel for you though. My sickness is easing but I felt rough all of yesterday, especially in the supermarket again. FGS give us our 2nd trimester blooms!
MrsM are you ok? Has the spotting passed? I hope so. Stinking hot you say And as I type they are playing Stop the Cavalry on steel drums on the radio with the sound of the sea in the background. Appropriate, non?! It's sunny here but of the cold variety so I'm wearing my huge, comfy alpaca / lambs wool blend poncho. So cosy! But not the good hot. I expect that we'll get an early heat wave when I'm like a whale next year.
We test drove the 'travel system' at John Lewis over the weekend. I must admit seeing all the little baby clothes and the nursery furniture made me feel quite giddy and overly excited and I was a bit sad that I wasn't sporting a big bump and looked like a chubby loon dragging her poor other half around cooing and picking up random things and going "soooo cute" "oooh we could get one of THESE". I haven't been into any baby department stores since the first MC in 2009 and so it was really exciting to go and look at all the stuff. DH looked very happy too. I think more because I wasn't wiping away bitter tears with tiny baby baby grows going on about how I'll never be a mum. Anyway, we've decided on the UPPAbaby travel system and in the cream colour too. I'm not buying anything until baby is here / we are a few weeks before D Day - I'm a bit superstitious after all the crap we've been through, so I'm researching and making lists of the things we will buy when the time comes. Gives us some time to save too. But I like being organised and so crossing the pram off feels good to me.
On the preggo front, my sickness is still here! Boo hiss! Not bad though, the occasional puke first thing in the morning and nausea here and there. I felt rough yesterday. Saying that we had a very busy weekend and I think I pushed it a bit too hard with staying up late, walking around London all day on Sat, spending Sunday afternoon finishing Xmas shopping and geting up early yesterday. Must rest more! Everything else is going fine. I've got my 16 week check up on Friday, looking forward to hearing the baby's heartbeat. Hoping that everything is ok. And that the midwife behaves herself!
Luffs to all, especially Stacks - he's nearly here!
Glad the pregnancies are going well, albeit with sickness. stacks I'm very excited for you. I wonder if any of the others have had theirs yet?
Sorry not to name check more. I'm in a bit of a state. Had 12 week scan today and all looked fine but nuchal is 3.4 mm which isn't great at all. In a total state of anxiety as this with my age is probably going to result in high risk and all that follows. Waiting on blood test results but am working myself up into a google frenzy. When will this baby- making lark get easier?
Oh so sorry Frannie. I don't know much about the combined test as we opted not to have it. If you check out the June antenatal thread there's a load of info on there as a couple of ladies have come back slightly high risk. It might be a useful / calming read. It is all so worrying though isn't it and the last thing you need is stress at this stage. It's unfair - we should all have super easy pregnancies... Fingers crossed it's all fine and you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy in confidence. I think from what the other ladies were saying is that you only get a call if you're high risk and if you don't hear then everything is ok and considered low risk. When are you off on holiday? Can you phone the hospital before you go? Lots of love and hugs xxx
frannie sorry to hear about nuchal thickness, fingers crossed for blood results. It seems a shame they don't do the bloods beforehand so you get the results with the scan. I had my bloods today and have the scan booked for the 9th Jan, they then put all the data into a computer on the day so you get your risk etc at that time which seems very sensible.
I agree with princess that after what we've been through we should have straightforward pregnancies
Lovely to be on holiday at the end of the week princess - I don't really have any time off plans but have nice dinner plans - although can only eat small amounts at a time which is annoying at this time of the year. The nausea is under control so long as I keep eating at regular intervals....thanks for asking! No more spotting or anything, so that's a relief.
princess so exciting about buying baby stuff - I'm definitely on the superstitious end of the spectrum, so won't be doing anything for a few months yet!
stacks sounds like you're nicely relaxed - it will all come together in the end - it is funny how much emphasis is placed on the delivery, when it takes up such a small part of the pregnancy, and indeed life beyond the pregnancy I certainly don't remember mine
ele hope you continue to improve...
I'm away Fri princess, I called earlier and they promised they'd call as soon as they knew either way, so that I can go away knowing. I asked for the blood test earlier mellow but they said they always did them same day at my hospital. I read the thread and it was useful- thanks p x
Hi Frannie sorry you got a poor NT result. I was expecting a high risk for this pregnancy because of my age (I'm 40, will be 41 when baby is born) and had discussed with OH about getting an amnio, and it was a huge relief when I didn't have to.
I was told the age-related risk for having a downs baby is 98-1 - which is still 97 healthy births out of 98.
And while a high risk result will probably mean you have extra stress until an amnio (if you decide to have one) it doesn't necessarily mean there is anything wrong with your baby at this stage, it's just an assessment of risk, it's not 100%.
A friend of mine had 3 babies at age 38, 39 and 41 (needless to say, she never had any problems ttc!) and for each child she was given a 40-1 risk of downs. Given how high her risk was, she had an amnio for each pregnancy and the results of each amnio indicated the child didn't have downs and she went on to have 3 healthy boys.
And remember while a NT result of 3.2 is considered a marker for downs, they do tell you that many other babies without downs can also have a NT result that high.
I hope you get your overall risk through soon - the waiting must be awful.
Stacks hope your sweep went well and you're currently in the midsts of labour - looking forward to hearing your good news :-)
princesss I never asked for anti-nausea tables, primarily because I foolishly thought it might be over by now! Also I'm never sure if they definitely get rid of the nausea or not, or if they just really help prevent excessive vomitting, and I've not been that sick on a daily basis.
I was starting to feel better but had a bad day yesterday :-( Just trying to tell myself its 'three steps forward, one step back' (was that a paula abdul track?) and that overall progress is good - really hoping I can make the drive down to my folks for xmas.
Glad you enjoyed the baby window shopping - I was the same with my son, didn't really want to buy anything (funny I'm on birth group lists on another site, and everyone who gets a gender result at 20 weeks seem to be immediately going out to buy pink or blue stuff - weird to me, I was very reluctant to buy anything in advance for my first, and feel exactly the same this time (although to be fair, we can just re-use all the other stuff now!)
Hope you're all getting ready to finish up work for xmas!
Started induction process yesterday, which involved a trace of baby heartbeat and then a pessary before being sent home for 24h. I hoped things would kick off overnight, but nothing happened so back to the hospital this afternoon. Another exam showed I'm still not dilated so stuck in hospital now and DH gone home till tomorrow. This hospital gives you a 24h rest between each induction thing, so next pessary will be tomorrow afternoon. However as I'm now 42w they won't let me go home again.
I am having tightenings every few minutes, so the hope is that these do something and I'm further forward tomorrow. Doc mentioned breaking waters if I was dilated tomorrow, so we'll have to wait and see.
I'm already tired and kind of fed up. With such a bad night sleep last night I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep here. Even with the 2 newborn babies in the room with me...
Stacks so good to get your update (although shame baby stacks hasn't appeared yet!)
I was induced with my little boy (I had pre-eclampsia - so no choice) and went through the same process, 2 pessaries (my cervix barely softened) then they broke my waters and gave me an hour to go into natural labour after that, then when nothing happened they started me on syntocin.
Once I was on syntocin, it actually all happened really quickly, they advised it might take 12 hours, but I went from 1cm to 10cm dilated in just an hour, then I was a further 90 minutes pushing out my wee boy and that was it.
Hopefully, the second pessary will work so you won't need syntocin though.
I totally sympathise with the lack of sleep, I ended up taking diamorphine during the birth and by the time I came to pushing my baby out, I was literally falling asleep between contractions :-)
I'm surprised you're in with 2 newborn babies though, should you not be in the antenatal ward? Our hospital was very strict on not even letting any children in the antenatal ward during visiting, they certainly didn't allow babies.
Good luck, and hopefully you get some sleep tonight and your cervix opens tommorow - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
Just a quick message to say babyStacks was born on Christmas morning by CS.
He's a lovely, healthy and content baby, feeding and sleeping well.
Oh Stacks that's brilliant news and a christmas baby too!
Have you named him yet or still weighing up your options?
What a wonderful xmas present, so so happy for you :-)
Congratulations Stacks!! What a perfect Xmas pressie. I'm so happy for you xxx
Hope everyone else had a lovely Xmas. Santa bought the gift of morning sickness on Xmas morning alongside lots of properly lovely pressies. However, I've felt the best I've felt in ages since yesterday. The Bloom at last perhaps?
Frannie hope you are having a lovely holiday and that your results were ok. Thinking about you xx
Ele hope you've been feeling better and got to enjoy your Xmas dinner.
Waves and festive loves to all. I'm gearing up for my birthday on Saturday now and travelling back home from mum and dads today. Should really get up and make breakfast. Loving all these lie ins a bit too much at the mo!
Glad you think you might be over the morning sickness now - I'm still waiting for clearance for that, but the nausea is definitely getting better, so I'm hopeful.
I almost had xmas by myself (we go to my folks by its a 1 hour 15 drive, and I felt awful in the morning) but my OH bullied me into it, and I'm glad he did, I was actually okay most of the day and it was nice to spend it with family rather than alone! I did enjoy my xmas dinner, but couldn't eat it all (not used to eating that much these days) and of course missed not being able to east mince pies and banoffee and all the other goodies we get on xmas day (sweet stuff still doesn't agree with me that much).
our little boy (who rarely sleeps past 7am) decided to be the only child in the world to sleep in on xmas morning - we had to wake him at 8:40 am - and OH's mum and dad were round at 9am - so xmas morning was a bit rushed!
I am also loving the lie-ins, not sure how I'll cope with 6am starts when I go back to work, so going to make the most of the rest of the holidays!
Hope everyone is having a fab festive season!
Congratulations stacks and hope you're nearly on your way home soon?!
Happy Christmas to everyone else.
princess and ele really glad that you're both feeling a little better - I'm jealous of your sleep ins - between visitors, getting up for dawn, early morning runs i could really do with a sleep in - we've had visitors for 2 weeks (they leave tomorrow night ) and I'm knackered!
I had some bleeding on Christmas Eve which settled by Christmas Day, but I'm very anxious about what it means. TMI alert I think it might be high up thrush causing irritation - it was just a little, but red. No cramps and otherwise feel much the same. But two weeks waiting for the next scan seems like a very long time! I thought my symptoms were less yesterday, but back with a vengeance today.... but I was reading a thread about someone with a MMC who had symptoms for 2 weeks after so am not completely reassured by that (must step away from dr google! ) Anyway, nothing I can do, so will just keep thinking positively for now.
Ah Mellow the dangers of dr google (far too easy to consult!)
I think when it comes to bleeding in pregnancy there are jsut so many stories out there of women who had little bleeds, lots of bleeding etc and had perfectly healthy babies, and of women who had the same symptoms but had the converse. There just doesn't seem to be any 'norms' regarding bleeding that you can take as either positive or negative.
My friend bled on and off during first and second trimester with her son (had no bleeding at all with her daughter) and everything was fine.
I had a missed m/c last year and when I started getting some trace when wiping, I was actually quite relaxed about it thinking it'd be fine, when obviously it wasn't.
What I would say, is that I wouldn't wait 2 weeks for your next scan, I think if you get any more traces of red or brown stuff to go to your GP straight away to get a referral to the early pregnancy unit (or self-refer - not sure how things work where you are).
I had trace amounts when wiping for 4 days, eventually went to GP in the morning, by the afternoon I had a scan - I don't think they mess around in early pregnancy and will take you as soon as they can.
Glad you'll get some rest when your visitors go, you'll be in need of some tlc!
Hey. Just a few more details if people are interested. Thomas and I are home now and both doing well. He's a little angel and has been very well behaved since he was born. He's a very good feeder and sleeper, and when he is awake is very alert and totally adorable. Well worth all the heartache, pain and effort to get him.
Princess I hope it was the 'bloom' starting for you. Long may it continue
Ele sorry you couldn't really enjoy your favourite Christmas treats. We had our Christmas dinner last night, complete with present opening and crackers. Was lovely, I even started the meal with Thomas on my knee breastfeeding, which got done reason was just so special .
Mellow I would phone your midwife or local hospital and tell them about the bleeding. It probably is nothing, but it's best to know for sure. Besides, you'll likely get a scan and will be able to see your LO that much sooner.
Christmas goodies all round
"got done reason"???? That should say "for some reason".
Stacks I think you're allowed a type-o when you have a newborn :-)
So glad to know things are going well, and I love your idea of a delayed christmas - must be lovely sharing it with your little boy too.
I got chocolates for xmas (like most people!) but I find that having a couple makes me feel queasy, however, I just can't resist (my mind craves the chocolate) so have spent the last few days saying no no, no chocolate (then having some, feeling ill, vowing against any more, then eating them anyway!)
My own worst enemy!
Happy New Year ladies! Hope everyone had a lovely, albeit sober one. Very excited about this year and everything it has to bring. So much more positive than the last few years. Plus it's surreal to be awake at this time with no hangover! I've had a great break including Xmas, birthday, new year and lots of nice stuff in between. Baby decided to give me a good kicking on my birthday, during my facial, which was a really amazing feeling. I've been feeling a lot of movement since, we've got one busy little person in there! I'm only 17 weeks but DH has felt it too!
Right. On with 2013. Hope you're all well xxx
Happy New Year ladies! Hope you all had a lovely time over the festive period. I quite enjoyed being sober and having full days to look forward to - it meant we were able to rejig a couple of rooms to start creating a nursery!
Hope you're all well and that morning sickness is starting to pass for most?
Congratulations stacks! What lovely, lovely news. It sounds like you're settling at home nicely. And a gorgeous name too.
Nothing much to report here. Pregnancy is being kind to me, I'm measuring well for my dates (28 weeks today!), I feel well and am still fascinated by each and every kick, twist and turn that I can feel. So all is good - just need to get through the next six weeks at work now and then we'll really be on the home straight...
Hope 2013 has got off to a good start for you all
Sorry I keep missing this thread!
Just to update DD1 was born on 23rd November (her due date) at 9:03pm after a long labour. She weighed 7lb 13oz ad we called her Meredith. She's amazing, lots of lovely brown hair and so beautiful, I know I'm biased. Had her weighed on Monday and she's now 10lb 5oz so the feeding is obviously doing its job
Waves to everyone who remembers me and those that don't
Going to read back through the thread
Well I am glad to be shot of the morning sickness and feeling much more like my old self, except being fatter and having something moving around on the inside. I've got a very wriggly one indeed and it's so early. It's rubbish being back at work, even if I do work from home. Still I have the consolation of Hotel Chocolat salted caramel truffles next to me this afternoon as a little cheer up treat. Xmas always goes to quickly. Boo.
Anyway, in between working (it's quite quiet today) I've started a spreadsheet <nerd emoticon> of baby stuff that we'll need. I've been researching loads over the holidays and thought best if I started to get things together. It's slightly alarming how much all this stuff costs, alongside paying off the credit card, finishing and furnishing the house, buying a new car and saving for maternity leave! All of those glam TTC holidays and treats seem a long way a way
maybe I should have been more careful!! Ah well, it will be fine. We are definitely in full on deficit reduction mode at the moment and I will be ebaying and gumtreeing a few more of our unused possessions to get some pennies in the savings pot.
Ladygee so, so glad that pregnancy is being kind to you. Third trimester already - wow! Is it me or does pregnancy go like lightening when TTC seemed to drag like nothing else ever dragged before? And only 6 weeks til maternity leave. That will fly by! I filled in my calender today and I've only got 4 months til I plan to go on maternity leave. I don't think we'll be able to afford for me to be off for too long as I only get statutory and DH is part-time self employed at the moment. Unless he gets more hours / work next year I'll need to go back for at least a couple of days a week, which might not be such a bad thing. I reckon 2 days at work and 5 days with baby will work for us. I like the idea of DH sharing the childcare too. It fits with my feminist ideals
Fatima huge congratulations! Meredith is such a beautiful name. You must be sooo busy now and it must be so lovely to have her hear and safe and well. I'm so excited now at the prospect of giving birth (yup I'm weird) and meeting the wriggler.
Stacks how are you and little Thomas (also a lovely name) getting on. Are you still in baby blissed out loved up cloud 9 heaven? I hope so.
Well 5 minutes of the first day left. Time to wrap this up and get back to my baby stuff research. I can't believe how many people are buying stuff up in the sales already on the antenatal thread I lurk on! I'm way too nervous to actually buy. I think a well thought out list is fine as I can just do a mega internet order in summer. Or am I missing something here?
Waves to Ele, Frannie, Heart and anyone else I've missed. I reckon we'll have a few more 10 plussers over here very soon. Artemis are you lurking on our thread yet? Come join! We have very nice truffles and lashings of organic lemonade waiting for you......
Hi all, sorry for the radio silence. I'm still here, but at 16 weeks the tiredness hasn't subsided so it's all I can do to get out of bed at the moment. HUGE heartfelt congratulations to Stacks and Fatima - so happy that you have your little ones home and I really love the names Meredith and Thomas. What precious children. Wishing you all the best and do keep checking in to let us know how you are getting on.
Mellow - this is probably a bit late now but I have had bleeding with both my pregnancies - one I miscarried and this one seems to be going ok. Bleeding in early pregnancy is common and doesn't necessarily mean a mc. I hope you have managed to get it checked out and that everything is ok - I know how frightening it is.
Glad you both are getting on ok Ladygee and Princess. I think the first trimester felt like an age but things do seem to be speeding up now, lots of appointments coming through. I'm getting a couple of extra appointments and a 28 week scan as I'm under a consultant not a midwife. I have got a tiny bump now although have only put on about 2-3 lb. I bought some more stretchy/roomy clothes in the sales, not maternity gear yet though. Very impressed at your organisation Princess! I should do something similar but I don't think I will buy anything for a while yet - do you think there will be more sales at Easter?
We have just started to tell people now - no big announcements, just telling friends when we see them, so I have got some friends who won't find out until after the 20 week scan. I'm still taking one day at a time so this feels like the best way for us.
Princess are you going to find out the sex?
I saw One Born Every Minute was on last night - I might be able to watch this series now - I love it but I couldn't watch the last couple of series as I found it too upsetting.
Wishing you all a happy new year and hope to see Artemis over here soon
Hello all, and happy new year
Thank you for the mentions - yes i have been tentatively lurking, so perhaps it's time to take the plunge and post in ante-natal for the first time... after so long TTC it is taking me a long time to get my head around this being real and I have had a number of panicky wobbles that it's all going to go horribly wrong, particularly as I have had very few symptoms - no sickness or nausea, no weird metallic taste, not even overflowing my bras
damn, I was looking forward to having a cleavage for the first time in my life. However at my 9 week scan on Wednesday we saw a tiny bean with a little flickering heartbeat so I am starting to let myself believe it might actually happen. Midwife booking in appointment is next week, and I am trying not to worry about further scans and anomaly testing etc until it happens - I know I'm high risk but worrying won't change anything she says confidently. DP is convinced he can see a little bump emerging but I have had to explain that my new gut is actually down to massive overeating and constipation and nothing to do with the bean yet at all... Heart I agree with you the first trimester seems to be taking forever, I am looking forward to being another month on when I might start to feel a bit safer.
Glad to see everyone is well. Massive congratulations to Stacks and Fatima on your new arrivals, beautiful names both (Thomas is on my list of boy names ) and i hope you're enjoying life as new mums!
Ladygee wow, 28 weeks! Great that you are feeling so well. It must be so exciting to be creating a nursery. It will be a while before we start that but we've earmarked a room.
Princess I'm glad your morning sickness has subsided, it sounded rough. I feel like a fraud for having avoided it completely! I too am fond of spreadsheets and just had a warm glow moment when all my cashflows added up perfectly so i may be mimicking your purchase planning in a few months' time. I was horrified at people on the August 2013 thread buying baby stuff and maternity clothes in the sales... how can you be that confident at 7 or 8 weeks?! I think you and I will be in similar situations regarding work. I'm self employed and the main earner and only entitled to the statutory basic allowance. While I have been saving for maternity leave, other things keep happening to eat into the pot (leaky roof being the latest thing). My mum's nearby and is
desperate keen to be involved, and thankfully my OH is keen to be hands-on so I think we'll end up both being some version of part-time. It suits my feminist principles too , though I do want some proper time off to start with if we can manage it financially. On the other hand I'm also fretting about the massive work commitments I have this year. I can see me working right up until the due date
Mellow I hope you're feeling OK and that the bleeding resolved itself. I had some spotting earlier this week and seriously panicked but the scan showed things were fine - however I still can't completely relax. Did you get a scan to check all was OK?
Eleth hope the sickness is subsiding so you can cope with chocolate! I have had NO problem eating this christmas, hence about half a stone weight gain already
Frannie how are you? Hope you had a good holiday and have had some positive answers regarding the risk levels.
Heart i really can't watch OBEM. I can't even watch the trailers. I blame the biology teacher who made us watch a 90-minute film of a woman giving birth when i was about 13 in lieu of sex education. I have been in massive denial about the prospect of childbirth all the way through TTC and see no reason to change that now
Right, time for me to stop pretending I'm working and go investigate what Mr A is cooking for tea
Hey. Just a quick post from me, it's quite hard to keep up with MN with a newborn. Thomas is adorable though, and well worth all the sleepless nights. He's sleeping on my chest just how, so I can do two handed phone typing for once
Art I also had very few symptoms in early PG. it felt strange to be missing out on it all, but I was glad not to be vomiting all day! Really good to hear your 9w scan went well. Not too long now till the 12w one. I found it amazing to see a real baby in there! He did a stretch and turned away from the sonographer after she woke him up
For those that knew minipie - she just popped up in post natal. She had a little girl premature at 33w, but both doing well now. I had been worrying, so it's real nice to see her again (if you come read this mini I hope you don't mind me saying..)
Heart I suffered with tiredness for ages. I hope you get your mojo back soon though.
Thomas is waking up... I'll keep lurking and posting when I can. Lots of love and luck sent your way.
princess I can't believe you can feel movements already! heart sorry to hear you're still feeling so sick
I didn't get around to having a scan - I've had no further bleeding and feel so sick, have sore breasts and am knackered so decided to wait - scan is tomorrow and I can't wait! It will be nice to tell people finally.
I had one not very close friend guess last week which really annoyed me (she annoys me most of the time anyway ) but I don't think she'll say anything to anyone else.
Thinks are really busy with us at the moment - we're moving back to the UK in February so have a lot to sort out - closing bank accounts, selling cars/furniture etc etc... and I have lots of work to do too..and remain ridiculously undisciplined and poorly motivated. Nausea and exhaustion doesn't help!
I keep telling myself it'll be better after the scan... not quite sure how that works But at least I'll be able to give an excuse to people, fingers crossed
Will let you know how it goes tomorrow -eek!
Glad the bleeding was just a blip and you're now feeling lousy with the pregnancy symptoms (I mean that in the best possible way!)
I am also having a scan tommorow (20 wks for me) a wee bit apprehensive and just hoping it all goes okay.
I managed to get back to work this week, still feeling crap but nowhere near as debilitated as I was, so fingers crossed this nausea is on the way out - can't wait until I get my appetite back and can drink pints of water again!
And hello Artemis (so nice seeing someone else 'graduate' on to this board :-) I'm not yet able to eat chocolate yet (am saving my last packet of thorntons viennese truffles for when my tastebuds have totally recovered and I can eat them and enjoy them without feeling queasy). I'm very jealous of your 'nausea' free pregnancy so far, I wouldnt' feel like a fraud at all, I'd just feel very very lucky :-)
I so understand what you mean about the first trimester dragging, I felt as though time had literally stopped in those first 12 weeks, every day felt like a week - I just couldnt' wait to get to that 12 wk scan.
Princess so pleased your nausea has passed now, I can't wait to get that point finally myself (soon - fingers crossed)
heart i have much sympathy with the tiredenss, I seem to be plagued with insomnia at night and exhaustion during the day - if only I could sleep I'm sure I'd feel tonnes better, but my brain is all 'whirr whirr' at bedtime (stupid brain!)
stacks sounds like you and thomas have totally settled into each other, how lovely having a nice snuffly baby sleeping on you :-)
Waves to everyone I've not 'named' and I hope you are all doing well.
Good luck with scans tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you. Come let us know how they go after. Ele will you be finding out the sex?
Hi Stacks, No I know its a personal choice, but I always feel like it's a bit like opening your xmas presents on christmas eve, rather than just waiting until christmas morning :-)
Also, first time round my OH told me the sex (it was something we wanted to do) and it was a really nice moment, so hoping to do that again.
How are we all?
Welcome aboard Artemis! So lovely to have you over here. Brilliant brilliant news that the bean is all good and doing what it should be. Not long til your 12 week scan now I was on tenterhooks until 12 weeks and have just started to relax into it in the last couple of weeks when the baby started giving me a good kicking through the day. I've had a quick read of the 10 plussers posts and noted your comments re constipation and inept midwives. I've experienced both so far. I'm not sure which is my least favourite... I take everything my midwife says with a pinch of salt - after she directly contradicted the NHS website on 2 occasions and just let her do her checks, fill in the forms and check them with my finest nit comb to make sure that the details are correct when I get home. She has been spot on so far, but I'm sorry her 'general' advice isn't welcome round these parts. RE: constipation. I've got it under control now although my remedies have made me windy
and I've just done a bit of a dog fart much to DHs disgust I'm snacking on fruit, prunes, dried apricots, having plenty of water, veg and wholemeal bread. In the sicky days I couldn't stomach any of the above and wedged myself up good and proper. I hear prune juice is good too. The day I farted blood was the worst, constipation is miserable. I'd also reccomended aloe gel for soothing a sore bum, stopping itching and for lubing the way... Ah tis grand being a women!
Ele So, so glad you're feeling better. How are you getting on at work? I'm finding it exhausting even though it's quiet but I think it's being in the dark and warm that's making me super sleepy. I don't have any nausea but I've been sick a few more times in the last week. I'm going back to see my nutritionist to try and iron it out as I think it's what I'm eating rather than hormonal. I think that I've suddenly developed an aversion to fruit acids, sugar and not enough protein. I didn't think it would hurt to have a sesh to get back on the super healthy wagon. Good luck for your 20 week scan, they're really rolling around now aren't they!?!
Mellow wowsers you do sound busy. Are you excited to be coming back to the UK? Brilliant news that you've stopped bleeding. Good luck with your scan tomorrow. I can't wait for my next scan, tho I don't know if he'll stay still long enough for them to get any measurements, I can feel him (or her) kicking loads and he can be felt from the outside too. DH is being a bit of a pest and prods me to wake him up but I'm glad he's taking such a keen interest.
Stacks Thomas sounds adorable. Glad you guys are getting on so well. Ahhhh lovely
Heart lovely to "see" you. Hope you are able to get loads of rest. I can't watch OBEM. It makes me feel a bit funny and overly emotional. And no we're going to keep the sex a surprise. We're calling baby "he" in the text book sense and because the scan showed a little thing with large hands and feet. Mum has given him a temporary name, which has stuck but will not be the official name.
As for everything else, it's been fairly stressful with the in laws and there was a big melt down last week where I seem to have been maligned quite badly. I'm still smarting a little but the rubbish that the in laws had concocted in their heads was so bizarre. Basically that I was going to divorce DH and they would never see the baby plus concerns that I would "take" the house that DH has been working so hard to renovate for the best part of a year. Basically lots of their worries projected on to me and also a lot of fears weaved into a nonsense story. Classic 2 + 2 = 5. After DH had finally got out of them what was going on (after being pretty horrid and causing me to have an axiety attack because I couldn't understand the hostility) we went out and had a massive laugh about it over a nice dinner. That sounds very melodramatic and probably more so than it was but well Im glad we got it sorted. Things have been easier this week but there is still some tension and I'm totally looking forward to moving and having my own space again. I've been told mid Feb and have put a date in the diary. Sooooooooo close....can't wait.... Lots of other nice things planned too and I treated myself to some new philosophy books last weekend, which are really interesting and whilst I'm engrossed in them on the sofa the in laws leave me alone. Bonus!
Ah, bed time. Lots of luffs to you all.
just back from our scan which was amazing! 45 minutes of looking at every aspect of nunu (what the scanner called baby, very sweet!). All perfect, risk for Downs more than 1:6000 and everything else (including fingers, toes and lips!) all looking normal. I can't believe the detail she looked at, heart chambers and vessels, kidneys and their blood vessels, swallowing, bladder, bits of the brain - she said that in private here you just get everything whereas normally it is just the main things in public care (and a much shorter scan). I'm so relieved, I sobbed all over her, poor lady!
We're just about to call family and tell them - i suspect I'll cry all over them as well!
princess sorry to hear about family melt-down, time to moving will fly by and good that it is all in the open I guess? Get thee some Chocolate!
ele hope your scan was ok?!
Waves to everyone else!
artemis it more than makes up for the anxiety of the last 6 weeks of waiting - which took FOREVER!
Wow - it's lovely to see this thread so busy!
artemis - welcome, welcome lovely lady. So pleased that your scan showed the little bean to be doing well - hopefully the next few weeks won't drag too much. Midwife appts are funny things - I still get myself all worked up for them and they are always a let down. It all feels so routine and I never ask any of the questions I've been thinking of inbetween appts! The hospital I'm going to is another matter though - they've been fab so far, all the staff seem to take a genuine interest and it feels much more personal. Let's hope that continues.
fatima - congratulations on the arrival of Meredith. Such a beautiful name. Hope you're settling into motherhood and keep in touch.
stacks - sounds like all is going well with you and Thomas. Lovely to hear about minipie too. Can't believe there are so many babies from this thread now!!
heart - good to hear from you. I'm sorry you're still suffering with tiredness, I think it was around 18 weeks when mine started to lift and I felt vaguely normal again. Now it's returned and I'm back to needing cheeky daytime naps either at lunch or before DH comes home from work.
mrsm - your scan sounds wonderful, a real milestone passed. And nunu - how cute! I'm sure they must be used to sobbing - I still fill up every time I hear the heartbeat.
ele - hope all goes well with your scan too. I'm with you on not finding out the sex - a nice surprise after all that hard work and something to look forward to. Most of my friends who have had babies have found out and that's been lovely too though.
princess - sorry about your family troubles, sounds like a bizarre situation. I bet you can't wait to get into your own place. Not long to go now... Pregnancy does seem to be flying by but I'm getting ready to meet our little one now - not least because some things are starting to get quite tricky. My job is mainly desk based so I didn't think working would be a problem but I currently have feet tucked under my ribs and when baby decides to kick it's a battle of wills as to who will move first! Quite amusing but sometimes painful too! Maternity leave is a can of worms too, I'm hoping to be off for almost a year but work hadn't anticipated this (they thought I'd be back after a couple of months) so managing colleague and client expectations has been tricky. But I might only get to do this once so I want to make the most of it and we've been able to save a bit towards this so it should be ok.
Hope everyone is well x
Ahhhh that's such lovely news MrsM I'm so glad it went well and everything is tickety-boo. I was amazed at the detail and sobbed too. I think it's a weird feeling: being amazed that there is such a human creature living in there, being shocked that you've done it after all the worries and problems that long term TTC brings, seeing your own baby for the first time, relief... totally amazing. It makes me wonder how I'll be when I've given birth! Enjoy telling your family . My Nan is very stiff upper lip and even she cried (in a good way) when I told her that she is going to be a Great Grandmother next year. She knows about our troubles and was super pleased. Especially as she's beaten her best friend to it !! I'm sure your family and friends will be thrilled
I'm really glad that everything is now out there re: family shizzle. I hate tensions and undercurrents and am a bit of an open book, get it all out there kinda person. I know that this is not everyones preferred way of dealing with things but I can't stand the weirdness not being open and speculation causes. I guess I'm just adjusting to living with a new family in an alien situation. Now I can modify my behaviour to make sure I don't push any secret buttons and I know that they were actually being hostile towards me and I wasn't going crazy I feel loads better. I can't be too angry, they are having a tough time with sick relatives and friends and money troubles and they were just worried about their son. But I am still smarting given the level of support and unconditional love I've given (and my family have given) to DH over the past 6.5 years, all of which they know about and which seems to have gone out of the window over a few 'private' arguments between me and DH. My mum thinks they've been at the 'shrooms my bestie thinks they're "crazies" - I wouldn't go that far and am trying to be more understanding and tolerant of my babies grandparents.... I'm assured that they are very embarrassed about what's happened and the aspersions they've cast. I'll get over it in time. And yes I'm really glad for our huge bag of Xmas goodies, not to mention my large box (was boxes) of salted caramel truffles that are going down a bit too well...
Waves to everyone else.
Is Frannie around after the exciting exotic holiday? Hope everything is ok with baby xxx
X post ladygee re wriggling baby! Your baby must be nearly full size now, so I guess there isn't a lot of room left for him/her to manoeuvre! My friend is only 4 weeks away from her due date now and the baby's head is down, so she has immense pressure on her pelvis and is uncomfortable most of the time. It would seem her baby loves stretching and she can feel a strong scraping like sensation from it's shoulders and arms! She's a teacher so looking forward to her mat leave from next week. I'm still amazed at how quickly it's going.
I did my finances spreadsheet yesterday to figure out how much we'll have, how much we need to try and put aside for emergencies before my proper pay ends and ultimately to work out when I'll need to go back to work. It made me feel much better and back in control as I had started to worry especially with so many big costs linked to the house and needing a new car going out at the moment. I'm lucky as I work for my Dad's company so he's super flexible and I can go back part time if I want. I think he had expected me to take a year off and was a bit when I said I'd probably need to go back when baby is 6/7 months. Mum and Dad are very traditional and Mum was largely a SAHM, but I've never wanted that for myself, I've always wanted some sort of balance. We only get statutory mat leave as well, so there will be a few hard months going into Autumn / Xmas unless we have savings set aside or DH gets more hours / another client / starts up some private music lessons again (Dad thinks DH should pull his finger out and work full time so that I can SAH and be a 'proper' mum, just to add to our complex little tangle at the moment). But I'm planning on going back to work next Jan 2 days a week. I'll have had 8 months off by then, baby should be weened and not so boob reliant and we'll be able to juggle the childcare between us. As I'll be at home I'll be able to express or do the odd feed anyway. Gargh - so much to think about! But I do love planning and logistics and I never thought I'd be in this position so I feel very privileged to be laying down plans
I'm loving that it's getting busier over here. Hopefully we'll have more of the 10 plus gang over the next few months too.
mellow so glad you're scan went so well and so detailed for 12 weeks too - that sounds fantastic - it's always so emotional seeing them wiggling about (was almost teary at my 12 week scan, but was a bit more composed today :-)
My scan went well, the baby is growing fine and all the organs etc seemed to check out okay. There was a wee hiccup in that the blood supply from me to the placenta is 'notched'. All women have 'notched' blood supply until about 16/17 weeks, then everything relaxes and blood supply increases. Mine hasn't increased yet, but with some women that doesn't happen until week 22/23.
So, I've to have another scan at 28 weeks to see if the 'notching' has disappeared or not. If it hasn't, it means that I'm more likely to have issues with high blood pressure, and as I always have a couple of risk factors for high blood pressure (my age, and past pre-eclampsia) just means the me and the baby will be monitored more closely.
Anyway, it's something that's going to be monitored and I get an extra scan and the baby is okay, so trying not to worry about it, I was always half expecting to have high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia in this pregnancy given my past experience.
princess sorry about your in-law madness, but as you say it's all for concern for 'their wee boy' although given that you're married, doing up a house and having a baby, I'd have thought your commitment as a couple would be self-evident, but they've obviously got themselves into a bit of a state over it. Glad you and your DH were able to go out and laugh about it, and as you say great to know there was hostility there, and you're not going mad. Maybe once you both settle into your new house it'll all settle down (maybe the cohabiting was getting to them and the 'cabin fever' set in :-)
Ladygee how long have you got to work before you take maternity leave? I'm also taking a year off (I did it with my little boy too, for the same reason as I thought that might be my only chance, and their only small once, and we could afford it (if we used our savings) so thought, why not?) and got my Mat B1 form today, so have already started thinking about finishing up on 26th April this year and going back 16 June next year (using up annual leave to pad out the weeks before and after my 12 month leave) - I know this will have a huge detrimental effect on my motivation at work - I'm really going to have to dig in and get the work done, and I have a huge backlog after being off for 6 weeks with morning sickness - ah well, you can only do what you can do eh?
Hope everyone is keeping well today - it's so great to have so many folk giving updates :-)
How lovely to have an active thread. I've still been posting on the 10+ board as I feel really attached to everyone on there but I'm starting to feel a bit unfair doing that - trying to only post when I have something useful to say but I don't want to upset anyone by my continued presence.
Stacks I'm really pleased you sound like you're relaxed and loving motherhood and thanks for the reassurance about the lack of symptoms early on. And brilliant to hear news of Minipie, glad all is OK. I think she left the thread shortly after I joined it. It really doesn't feel like that long ago.
Great news on the scans Eleth and MrsM. I've had two early ones because of the IVF but at that point all we were looking at was a tiny blob on the screen so it just didn't feel quite real yet. It must be amazing to see a real baby in so much detail. I'm another one who doesn't want to find out the sex in advance. Apart from anything else I hate the pink/blue thing that people inflict on babies - why start the gender conditioning before they're even born?! - and I don't want to give people an excuse to inundate us with a particular colour!
MrsM did they give you your Down's risk stats at the time of the scan? My 12 week scan is in a fortnight but I was told it would be a fortnight before I get the results from the Down's testing (nuchal measurement + bloods and other risk factors)... yet another 2 week wait . I am terrified to be honest because my current risk is probably quite high - 1% due to my age and then they take IVF into account which apparently carries additional risk (not that this was emphasised when we went into it!) I opted for the nuchal testing because I am a 'need to know' kind of person but I don't honestly know what I will want to do if it comes back high risk. But I guess there is no sense in worrying about that now as there is absolutely nothing i can do to influence the result
if only I could take my own advice
Eleth good that you're being positive about the notching issue - as you say, now they're aware of it you can be monitored more closely and the situation managed which must be reassuring. I hope it resolves itself.
Princess jeepers, have your in-laws forgotten to take a dose of something? Or your mum may be right, they've taken something they shouldn't . That sounds crazy. I'm glad you've got everything in the open. February isn't long to wait now and your new place when you get there will be absolute bliss. Thanks for your advice on the constipation . It is really getting to me now, I am permanently bloated with a constant dull stomach ache and while I still get hungry I have no appetite for anything. I've been out today to buy prunes and apricots and other delectable treats and if nothing works by tomorrow I'm bringing out the big guns and having a cup of real coffee. I've avoided it since September but I figure one cup isn't going to do any harm and if it works it'll be worth it.
How things change. I love how we've gone from talking about cm, jizz and rear entry shagging to bowel movements, or the lack thereof
Ladygee I'm glad the hospital team are better than the midwives! Sounds like you are feeling positive about the prospect of labour, hope the last few weeks at work pass quickly. I think you're right about taking as much mat leave as you can but I understand what you mean about managing colleague and client expectations. I'm only 10 weeks and have not told anyone yet, but the one colleague/friend who does know about the IVF was speculating the other day about how quickly I could return to work and decided (on her own, without my input!) that I could be back by November. My EDD is 9 August and I'm not likely to manage a year but had been planning on more than a couple of months. I was a bit upset when she left, if a good friend can have those expectations I wonder how long term clients will react. I am self employed and there is nobody to delegate to, and at the moment I'm finding it difficult to find excuses not to take on work that goes beyond August.
I'm interested to know when everyone started to tell work people you were pg? I'll want to wait until we have test results but it feels a long way off.
Mr A's just back from band practice, must dash. Love to all and apologies for any omissions or mistakes xx
article about this
Hi Artemis the increased risk of congenital abnormalities with assisted fertility isn't related specifically to IVF. In fact when you adjust for parental factors it isn't worth talking about and Clomid (handed out like smarties!) has a higher risk of congenital abnormalities than IVF. So parental factors are important - and male factors may well play a role - I can't remember if you had ICSI? - but that is associated with a slight increase in congenital abnormalities, but is not related to the procedure but to the reason you need ICSI unfortunately.
Any defect (assisted conception) 8.3% vs spontaneous 5.8%
Chromosomal abnormalities: 0.5% assisted vs 0.4 % spontaneous - so really not worth worrying about I think
that's unlikely to stop us though!
I did get the results at the same time because I'm overseas
and they're thoughtful about 2ww and they do the bloods at 9 weeks and scan at 12-13 weeks then compute in front of you on the day. In fact, she told me before scanning that my risk based on bloods was already 1:3000 which was exceptionally reassuring.
ele glad scan went ok
goes off to google notching and fingers crossed for 28 week scan.
A years maternity leave sounds lovely - but think I'll end up with 8 months - unless I go off early (that is with stopping at 38 weeks - is that crazy!?!)
Finances might have to play a role and I guess I'd prefer more time after than before...
MrsM thanks so much for the study on congenital abnormalities, it's helped put my mind at rest about the added risk. The midwife looked very concerned when I told her it was IVF but I doubt she is an expert. We didn't have ICSI, just conventional IVF, so the risk factor should be no different than for other couples our age. It's great that your clinic thinks sensitively about scan results, must be such a relief. The midwife did tell me that if we turn out to be high risk they will contact me ASAP, which makes me wonder why they can't do that for everyone. I don't understand why the NHS relies so much on the costly and unreliable post when we have new fangled inventions such as phones and email available! I'm going to have to learn to manage worrying. A friend with teenagers told me that once the baby arrives, constant worry is going to be a normal part of life so I guess I should get used to it now
I can't see me being able to finish work before 38 weeks either, though I mostly work from home so that should help. It probably is crazy but with no prior experience I have no idea what to expect!
Love to all... I am wondering if Teu is also lurking and might come and join us
So glad to read the good scan news. This is just a quick post as Thomas is waking up. I will say though, the worry doesn't stop when they're here!
T is so tiny and precious I worry about everything. He's doing well, but I was in tears yesterday when he did a little heartbroken cry in his sleep - I can't protect my baby from bad dreams, and felt terrible that he had something bad to dream about! He makes DH and I both soo happy too, just watching him eat and sleep and everything. They're worth all the worry and more besides.
stacks I remember visiting a friend when my son was about 6 weeks old and he cried in his sleep, and she was 5 months pregnant (and understandably a bit hormonal) and burst into tears at the thought that he was having a bad dream :-) It's so true though, you just wonder what could be upsetting their dreams at such a tender age.
Art and Mellow - I don't think it's mad to finish at 38 wks at all, I'm finishing early as I have to use annual leave, so my maternity leave doesn't actually start until the day before my EDD, but because I need to use up annual leave, I can finish 4 weeks early (so so different when you're working for yourself, I get the advantage of having an employer with quite good maternity conditions - and I'm very grateful).
Art sensitive question, but I'm not sure how old you are, but I would say that I'm 40 now (will be 41 when this bean is born) and when I did my nuchal and blood tests etc, they told me that my age-related risk for downs at age 40 is 1:98 - which is quite scary and we were expecting a high risk result and to have to make a decision about an amnio, but when they calculated using my Nuchal scan and my bloods my overall risk came back as 1:996 - so managed to avoid having to consider an amnio. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that they give you a lot of doom and gloom sometimes if you're an older mum, but the statistics quoted are all generic, every woman is individual and you're own stats will likely differ from the norm.
I'd also say, i have a friend who had 3 boys, at age 38, 39 and 41 and she got a high risk for each one (i think it was about 1:40 for each pregnancy) so she had 3 amnio's and in each case the baby was absolutely fine and healthy (they're driving her mad now), so even a statistically low risk like hers still means that 39 out of every 40 babies will be A-Okay.
We told our little boy (he's 3) yesterday that I have a bun in the oven, and he took it really well and was all excited (that will change I know) but it was such a relief to see him asking to 'see' the baby in my tummy, and looking forward to the baby kicking his hand in my tummy (not feeling much outside kicking yet, will be a few weeks I think).
Stacks little T just gets cuter every time you describe him. I hadn't even considered crying in their sleep. I got a little bit angry with DH for prodding my tummy to make baby "dance" the other day. It woke him up, DH got to feel a flurry of movement and was happy, but it made me cross that he could have hurt him. I'm sure he didn't. I hadn't realised quite how animal / protective I would get...I'm going to have to watch myself! Love that you're still around btw and love hearing about little T
Ele glad that your son took the news well. I was very in love with my sister when she turned up. I was 3.3 when she was born. However, she was a screamer and Mum told me that I did get annoyed with her screaming. She found me one day with a duster over her face and when she asked what I was doing I told her nonchalantly "polishing the baby" I'm not sure I was "polishing" her but there we go!
Artemis and MrsM I was flirting with the idea of staying at work until 38 weeks because I work from home, and then I realised that I have 4 weeks of hols to use up. If I don't use it I lose it, so that's the only reason I'm finishing earlier. I'm still planning on working to 36 weeks and then starting actual mat leave from EDD, like Ele.
Artemis DH is self employed and has just lost 2 weeks wages over Xmas due to family and house commitments. It's bloody hard and I'm still not quite sure how it will go during maternity but I think I've got it under control. He takes responsibility for DIY, cooking and smelly things; I do laundry and finances. So it really is down to me to sort the finances and I'm not sure he appreciates how tight it is. RE your results - I'm sure your results will be fine. It is bloody scarey though, pretty much this whole thing. We chose not to have the tests because we were so sick of tests and well, what will be will be. But I know a lot of people think I should have had it done to prepare for the worst. I can't think like that anymore. It's such a tricky thing to do. Saying that, I'm pretty chilled about the pregnancy now and only get super scared when we have tests / go to hospital but then we've had a lot of prolonged bad luck so I guess it's only natural. My friend who had an instadiff and fairly easy pregnancy worried the whole way through and got herself into a right old pickle. I guess that it's pretty normal to be scared, we just know a bit too much sometimes IMHO.
On that, we were having some big questions about the whooping cough jab and really stressing about it. Mum has always been anti jab and I've not had quite a few, so naturally I'm a bit about these things. But now I have baby inside and am the responsible person for little person I start to think, "oh god, what if I don't and something goes wrong or my baby gets sick and it's my fault..." Luckily my sis and her bf are uber Oxford medical geeks who have either studied, researched, taught at Oxford or worked for pharma support companies. They went through all of the research with me at Xmas and basically said, we're not guaranteeing it's 100% safe but looking at all of the evidence and the vaccination components and the history of the jab in kids and women in other countries and the fact that the baby will be in the third trimester and the fact that you are only passing antibodies via the cord and not passing the component parts of the drug via the actual cord we reckon it's more safe to have it than not to. Also, I had always been told that drug companies paid doctors to give the vaccinations but this is categorically incorrect. I was corrected by geeky sis's boyf that the NHS pay the GPs to administer it as they have to offer an incentive for them to take time out of clinics to give the vaccinations and because it saves the NHS money in the long term by not having to treat v.sick people. I was so relieved to have had this conversation with someone who understood it more than people who spout second hand nonsense and scare stories.
I started my pregnancy yoga course last night, which was lovely and I can't wait to do more. It's the easiest yoga I have ever done. So easy and relaxing in fact that in the last 10 minutes of 'breathing' I dribbled on the huge stack of cushions under my head and did a sneaky but leaking trump under the blanket We also did some all fours poses, which apparently are also good for giving birth in. Yoga teacher commented how this way of giving birth "takes us back to our roots" I had some other thoughts about how baby got in at that point Oh and we had to introduce ourselves at the start, Artemis you'll like this. 5/6 women in the room had had no pregnancy symptoms and were all between 18 - 26 weeks. I was the only one who had had sickness. So I wouldn't worry about the lack of symptoms at all!! I also spouted that I was still being a bit sick sometimes, they all looked horrified, so I went on that this was probably down to diet, that I was going back to my nutritionist who had helped me resolve a hormone imbalance and that we'd tried for 3.5 years and it was an emotional time for us. Oh gawd, where the actual fuck did that come from!! There was a collective Ahhhh and I went BRIGHT red! The teacher was so lovely, she just bought out my inner hippy and I felt all talking stick like and mother earth. Still it was nice to be able to properly relax.
I now realise I've written an epic essay and I need to finish up some work and find more food. Ravenous doesn't come close to describing this hunger at the moment....
Waves and bumpy hugs all round xxxx
Hi all. Artemis invited me over here. Just a quick post to say hi (then I'll get round to reading everything and catching up). By my dates I'm in week 8. Horribly nauseous one day, feel tickety boo the next. Other than that very few symptoms. Still don't actually believe it might be happening.
MrTeu is amused by how my brain has turned to mush already. Filled the kettle to boil the water for pasta last night, put the kettle on the hob, flicked it's switch and then turned the hob on!
Congratulations Teuchter - so good to have another recruit :-)
Hopefully Mr Teu will prevent you from burning the house down so you can hang around here for the next 32 weeks!
Hope today is a tickety boo day (and not a 'feeling seasick all day' day)
Waves to all :-)
Goodness me, it is so busy over here, fantastic! Mellow I'm delighted for you that everything is going ok. And huge welcomes to Artemis and Teu. Try not to worry about nuchal scans too much. I think it depends how you look at it (as all stats do) eg even a risk of 1/100 is still a 99% chance that the baby will be healthy. Really odds are that everything will be ok, so perhaps look at it as just ruling out another thing to fret about?
Princess your in laws sound very dramatic and interfering, but living with ILS (or parents for that matter) can often result in blue murder on all sides, so I am sure everything will be ok once you are in your new place.
Ele really glad they are keeping an eye on you, at least the notch thing was picked up early and they can plan your care better.
Waves to everyone else, including our newborns.
My bump has just popped out (17 weeks) - went and bought some maternity jeans today - oh god the relief, I LOVE them and want to wear them all the time! DH and I need to do a finances spreadsheet, am I right that the main expenses seem to be pushchair travel system thing and nursery furniture? I really need to do a list of everything that we need.
I'm feeling fortunate (for the first time in this TTC journey I must say) as I should be having about 14.5 months off on maternity leave, and my employer does a decent package. I've got to finish 6 weeks early due to using up leave beforehand which seems way too soon (especially if baby is late!) but I do have a long commute so maybe it is for the best.
I have been watching OBEM - and it doesn't make me cry anymore (it used to). I honestly feel that everything that has happened over this TTC journey has hardened me up, it takes more than other people's babies to crack me these days! I am enjoying it although all the mums seem to be young ... makes me feel ancient in my thirties.
Is anyone doing / has anyone done an NCT course? DH and I have signed up as a way to meet people and learn something about labour. Just starting to think about it seriously and I am really hoping there will be at least one ex-barren aside from me. Do you need to talk about yourself much?
p.s. forgot to say, we aren't going to find out the sex either. I'd like the surprise at the birth, and I don't mind either way.
Hi Heart I did NCT classes, there were 6 couples in our group. I was 37, one girl was 38, three were between 29 and 32 and the other girl was 24. It probably depends on the demographics where you live, but I think they tend to attract slightly older mums (maybe due to the cost or a stronger interest in breastfeeding etc?) so I think you'll find being in your 30's will be the norm.
I'm still in touch with 2 of the girls on a regular basis and I've found it a great support as I don't really know that many people local to me with babies. Our instructor was really nice and there was lots of group exercises where all the men would discuss various issues and the women would discuss different things, to see things from each others perspectives and stuff and suggestions of how they can support you through the labour/birth process etc. I really enjoyed them, but I think it probably totally depends on the teacher/folk in the class.
I think you do brief intro stuff about yourself, but nothing about your ttc journey (not in my class anyway) we didn't mention to anyone that we'd be trying for 3 years etc (don't know about you, but at the time I sort of felt ashamed that it had taken that long to conceive - ridiculous I know, and I don't feel like that now (now that I have a child) but I think ttc messes up your perspective a bit!
i've never watched OBEM - but whenever I see a birth thing on the telly now, it just reminds me of having my little boy :-)
Well...19 weeks today, nearly half way there now. I welled up this morning thinking about it. And whilst TTC will always haunt me, I do feel like the sadness has lifted and my normal self is starting to come back. That could be partly to do with things being much more positive in the land of princess. Baby is still kicking loads and loads and seemed to be having some sort of party in there between 4 and 6 this morning! I am a bit tired as was up for quite a long time in the night. Had a snack, listened to the radio and managed to drift off again for a couple of hours. This last week I've had no nausea, did some swimming at the weekend, had a facial, saw a couple of close friends for some nice relaxing girly time and lovely lunches and had loads of good ideas for the house, not to mention a spot of sanding the stairs and measuring up for furniture. We have working central heating and things seem to be marching on. Plus the in laws seem to be acting less odd and everyone's being nice and friendly to each other again. And breathe "ahhhhh"
We've decided to go for hypnobirthing classes, over NCT, which we start next month. I was hoping to do it later, say March but the teacher is on hols and is doing two intense weekend sessions instead, which we can't commit to as we've got a couple of weekends away planned in March. She thinks April is too late as we need to practice the method before baby arrives. I can't wait to start the course. My friends has been and is a total convert as is her husband who was a massive skeptic to start with. Luckily we have a teacher down here who is not only a practitioner but is also approved by Marie Mongan to teach others and sits on the UK board of teachers. We've opted for a group class as I'm hoping to meet some other couples there and the ladies on my yoga course seem nice too, although I think everyone was a bit nervous and keeping themselves to themselves last week. If we get a chance to do the NHS antenatal classes we'll do those too as they're in the hospital and I think they include a tour of the facilities. Plus they're free so it would seem silly to turn them down.
Welcome Teu lovely to have more 10 plussers on board. Was so heart warming to hear the news of your bfp over on the 10 + board. Hope you are having a non sicky day. Has it all sunk in yet?
Mellow Hope all of your family and friends are excited about your news. And that you had a lovely weekend. How are the moving plans going?
Heart 14.5 months maternity?! Dear God, I want some of what you're doing!! That's really fab! And I'm sure you'll fill your days with lots of lovely things in the 6 weeks before the arrival of bump. Yay to the emergence of your bump! Maternity jeans are the best aren't they? I'm not sure I'll ever go back to my old ones, these are just so roomy! I didn't think that I had a massive bump, but there aren't any long mirrors at the in laws that I can look at myself in, so got a bit of a shock the other week when I was out shopping and went, "Wow, I really do look properly pregnant!" Friends have started rubbing the bump too, which I find a bit weird but as they're close friends I'm not narked. I think I'll be more "back away" with strangers
Artemis how are you getting on? Hope you are feeling better.
Oh and I hear the Royal Baby is due in July. Who else here has a July EDD? It's going to be baby fever and all I keep thinking is that they better not steal either of our names (I don't think they will ours are a bit gauche for royalty)
There's quite a clan of us over here now. I was wondering if we should have an EDD list to make us more of an "antenatal" thread and to celebrate not having to write about our TTC journeys and woes
and because I'm so nosy Anyway, I'll start it off:
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Waves and loves and hugs to all xxx
Welcome Teu, lovely to see you over here. Hope the nausea is easing, it should do soon hopefully. I did at your baby brain incident! I don't think I've been any more vague than usual but then i am starting from a fairly low base
Eleth thanks very much for sharing the info on your nuchal test results. I'm 39 (due date is 2 months before my 40th) so the first thing the midwife did was quote stats at me, but I don't suppose population level stats have much meaning for individuals. It's reassuring to know your individual figures were very different. It still feels like a waiting game but the days are ticking slowly by. Great that your son took the news well, 3 years is a good age gap as well, he'll have a bit more understanding of what's going on than if he was younger.
Stacks you sound totally in love with little Thomas, your post made me a bit damp round the eyes
Mellow how did you get on with sharing the news? Hope you had lots of excitement!
Heart that's brilliant news on the maternity leave. I'd do that if I could but might have to win the lottery or rob a bank first. I had a setback earlier this week when the quote for the work we need doing to our roof came in at roughly equivalent of 7 months' mortgage payment, ie my entire maternity leave.... Lots of ringing round roofers later a 2nd and 3rd opinion suggest that the work is mostly unnecessary and the first company were trying to rip us off. A relief but made me realise how perilous the finances could be. Hurrah for the bump! I'm dreading maternity clothes shopping as I'm quite tall and it's bad enough finding normal clothes to fit but I don't need to worry about that yet.
Princess I love your essays! Halfway there, that's terrific. I still feel that time is dragging but seeing how far on other people are is giving me hope. Glad things are getting better on the domestic front. Lots of kicking must be a good sign and it sounds like you've been doing some lovely things to stay relaxed. Are your friends excited for you? I've never heard of hypnobirthing, something else for me to google...
I have looked up NCT classes in our area as much for meeting people as anything, but the only one for August due dates is a 40-minute drive away so not so good for meeting local parents. All my friends with kids are years ahead of me and talking secondary schools rather than baby names so I'm a bit worried about being isolated. I'll do the NHS ones but can't imagine I'll have much in common with the other parents judging by the clientele at the children's centre when I went for the booking appointment (think early 20s, sweary, women overweight and knackered looking, men in tracksuits and hoodies with prominent neck tattoos). Not wishing to pass judgment on anyone but on the face of it I don't see any immediate common ground.
Damn the royal baby, bloody hell if people think I'm bandwagon-jumping after all those years of ttc I will be seriously annoyed. I can't imagine they'll steal our names either Princess but can't completely rule it out. On the name front, it's the only thing MrA is willing to talk about - otherwise his sole reaction so far has been to occasionally give me panicked looks when babies are mentioned . Having said that the one thing we have reached a little impasse over is the baby's surname. We're not married, and even if we were I wouldn't want to change my name. Without compromising my identity, Mr A has the kind of slightly unusual surname that attracts comment and is something members of his family have tried to live up to, if that makes sense, and not in a good way. He just assumed the baby would take his name but neither of us is comfortable with having a different surname to our child (and being feminist and a bit bolshy I don't see why we'd automatically go with accepted tradition). There seems little room for compromise on this one! We considered double-barreling but it would just sound naff. Has anyone dealt with this question, or do you know anyone who has?
I went back to the gym on Saturday for the first time since mid-IVF and had to tell the instructor about being diffed. It's actually the first time I've said the words 'I'm pregnant' out loud. It felt weird and made me realise it still doesn't feel properly real. I'm a bit less panicked about the imminent likelihood of miscarriage as time goes on but am counting the days to the 12 week scan. I'm not normally into wishing my life away but this seems like it's going to be the longest 9 months ever!
Waves to everyone, hope you're all well. I shall do a separate post with the EDD list so it doesn't get lost amid my waffle
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Artemis First baby 09/08/2013
Hi princess so glad you're having a good week. My nausea is getting better, but not gone yet (but only in waves now, not constant) and I'm still being sick every now and again, but I feel much much better. I think my problem just now is that my appetite is starting to come back so I want to eat stuff, but my stomach isn't ready for everything yet, so it's a bit trial and error (e.g. eat it and pray it stays down :-)
I do feel better though and managed to go out for lunch with DH and DS on saturday, which was great (fell ill all afternoon when I got back, but I've not been able to go out for lunch for months!)
Hope your hypnobirthing classes go well, they sound great, I've bought myself a natal hypnotherapy book (same kind of thing) and hope to get a CD and do some 'self training' before this birth, as I can't really fit in a class. I'm trying to get myself into a more positive frame of mind this time - I fully expect it to fly out the window when the time comes, but you never know, there are really good reports out there from folk who did it, so it might work, attending a class is definitely going to be much better.
I handed in my Mat B form this week, and have discovered (fortunately :-) that it looks as if my work will let me add public and privilege holidays onto my mattie leave, which will also take me up to nearly 14 months (so, at the moment I plan on finishing on 26 April 2013 and return to work on 30 June 2014 :-)
Obviously I need to run this past work, but I get excited just thinking about it :-)
Following in your footsteps.
Eletheomel, Second baby, EDD 28 May 2013.
art sorry, cross posted :-)
I can remember what the countdown to week 12 scan was like (esp when you're thinking about screening results too) I hope the weeks don't drag too much for you and you get good news when the results come in.
You're younger than me, that must make you feel good :-)
Just wanted to say that me and DH weren't married when we had our DS (he proposed in the labour room (got me at my weakest, I say :-D
But he was quite fixed about baby taking his surname, I wanted him to have my name, but to be honest my DH generally lets me get away with everything and my views on decisions generally hold, so I sort of felt that I should let him have a 'win'.
I wasn't ready to take his name though, so I've not yet officially changed my name and so my surname is different to my little boy's (my DH didn't mind if I took his name or not, so I've not bothered).
I was thinking I'll go over to his surname when I next update my passport so that we will all have the same name, right now my DS is unaware of it, so it's not a problem (and changing your name is a hassle!)
So, not an ideal solution really, and I can't really help you, just wanted to let you know what I did (e.g. I caved!), but I did put my surname as my son's first middle name and I got a bigger say in choosing the first name (as he got the choice over surname).
I did consider double-barrelling, and I think our surnames would be okay, but I just couldnt' help but feel it'd be a bit poncy - but maybe we should have given it more thought...
p.s. I had the same preconceived ideas about the clientelle at NHS classes, I think there is likely to be more younger mums than older mums. I didnt attend in the end as nobody told us about them and by the time we asked (at 5 months gone) they were all booked up!
Waves and hugs to everyone!
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Artemis First baby 09/08/2013
Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013
Hi Eleth, thanks so much for the comments on names. It is a tough one particularly given the weight of custom on this issue.
My name isn't original or unusual but I'm attached to it, partly because I've had it for 40 years and partly because being self employed it carries my work reputation with it. Even if we got married and I changed my name in my personal life I'd want to keep my professional identity, and I know that's getting harder as the authorities don't like people with dual identities for obvious reasons! Double-barreling for us would only sound OK if mine went at the end, and would only work full stop if he and I both did the same thing. When I asked Mr A if he would consider changing his own name he reacted as though I'd suggested he climb Everest in his underwear, but at least it made him understand how I would feel!
I daresay we'll find a solution... we have thinking time but eventually we'll have to! I can see me caving too, mostly because I know he has felt 'on the sidelines' during the IVF process and I don't want him to feel marginalised when baby actually arrives. I do like the suggestion of having a bigger say in first name choices if it takes his surname, since he has come up with some fairly outlandish suggestions so far
Glad your nausea is subsiding and that's really great news on your maternity leave. Being off work until June 2014, that's definitely something to get excited about!
It's weird how the demographics work at the NHS clinics isn't it?! I would say that most of the ladies at our hospital are around my age and upwards. And most have been mid- to late- 30s. I felt quite young (31) and it certainly wasn't like the Year 10 school outing feel I'd been expecting. I was pleasantly surprised. And felt a bit for being oh so judgey MN what have you done to me
or rather maybe it's all that Jezza K I consumed over organic lunchtimes during summer
Although I would site myself as being a feminist I did take DH's surname when we got married. Not in a I wanted to belong to his family / be his possession type way but because we had already started trying for babies beforehand and I wanted to have the same name as the babies and him and I wanted to feel like I was starting my own family. I was also quite excited about being a Mrs, but being a Mrs Maidenname sounded like my Mum or my Nan which was too weird. Lots of our friends who aren't married and even quite a few who are and have kept their maiden names for work / principle reasons have double barreled their babies surname. As we live in Brighton, there's a lot of v. trendy first names with very long double barreled surnames so they all sound vair posh and like the children of rock gods. Double barreling wouldn't have worked in our case, as it would have been a ridiculous surname. So it was never an option anyway. As a compromise we're choosing middle names from my family, so it will be "original our choice with no outside influence" first name, maternal family middle name (variations of my grandparents names - sadly the only set of grandparents who aren't alive) and then paternal surname. If his family need any justification for why we haven't included any of their traditional family names, as I suspect they will, they'll be told that the baby has their surname. Oh the bloody politics. It's worse than wedding invites and table plans...
Hmm...it's a hard call. If you really don't like Mr A's surname Artemis could you get him to change his by deed poll to yours instead? That to me would be the best piece of strident feminism you could pull! But I also think lots of children don't have their dad or mum's surname and it really isn't a problem. Could you compromise, say, have your surname and let him have ultimate say on first name?
Oh and I would defo check out hypnobirthing... it's quite woo and involves lots of affirmations but all of the stuff I've read mentions no tearing and very calm births which sounds brill to me. It's all about breathing the baby out; no pushing. You put yourself into deep relaxation and let your body do what it's supposed to do. Lots of people who do it have no drugs whatsoever and although I'm feeling quite excited about gas & air, I don't want any other kind of drug. I also conceived the cycle I had hypnosis and concentrated on doing lots of meditation / positive visualization CDs, all of which helped me to have a complete u turn on feeling like a mega failure. It gave me coping strategies, which in turn made TTC ok. I like the idea of being well rehearsed for the birth and having coping strategies in place so it fits in well with all of my beliefs and because of the successes I had with all of the woo / diet stuff.
On a separate note, I've also been discussing a very scary contraption called an Epi-No with my friend, which is used to ahem stretch down there and get used to the sensation of a baby's head coming out. It's a sort of balloon that you use from week 34. Apparently it's good for toning too. Who knew these sorts of things even existed eh?
X post Artemis ignore my comments about name or maybe just reverse the whole surname/first name thing! at climbing everest in his pants. Mr P has certainly had some moments through the pregnancy and what's expected of him down the line to date too...
princess I only came accross the epi-no a few weeks ago, I was on another discussion board and someone posted a link to some research done on it and it didnt really appeal to me (to be honest, even if it worked its not something that would tempt me at all!) Link to article is at: midwifethinking.com/2010/08/07/perineal-protectors/
Before DS I was more terrified of 'tearing' than any other aspect of labour (I just couldn't imagine a situation where your flesh would suddenly tear - I kept thinking of the pain)
However, I have to say, I had a 2nd degree tear with my son and I literally didn't feel it happening at all, I just felt the crowning sensation of his head, whereas in my head I thought it would all be about the tear, in reality I didnt even know I'd had a tear until they told me I needed stitches.
I'm still not keen on a tear this time, but at least I know it's not as bad as I thought (just wanted to try and share some reassurance :-)
Hey Ele, thank you so much for the reassurance. That is indeed very reassuring. And thanks for the link. I'll check it out later. Oh god, I'm terrified of tearing - my main reason for hypnobirthing is the fact that people tend not to (or maybe it's just very shrewd marketing) and the thought of an episiotomy makes me feel very unwell to put it politely! I think they recommend perineal massage with hynobirthing using high quality vegetable oil or the epi-no. It's a long way off but I can suffer from anxiety and this is the sort of thing that will keep me awake at night. Hence my neurosis to have things in place to help. But knowing that I won't feel some almighty ripping is already making me feel better.
It's horrible the stuff you have to think of, eh? I'd love to see men having that choice (would you prefer your skin to be cut or be torn? :-D
I meant to do perineal massage last time, managed it occassionally, but it was hard to feel round my bump late on in pregnancy (I was all up front) so ideally, you might want to get Mr P on board to help you with that :-)
I don't think you tend to get episiotomies these days unless they have to use forceps or a ventouse, although my friend did have to have one and she was also terrified, but said it was actually fine. They gave her a local anaesthetic before the incision, so you don't feel it at all.
Reducing the instances of tearing is one of the main reasons I wanted a water birth (and still do this time) I'd read that a water birth is less likely to result in a tear, and the relaxation techniques of hypnobirthing appeal in that aspect to.
I'd also say that while I found the stitches really nippy when they were putting them in, once they were in I had no trouble with them at all, no itching or pain and everything healed up really quickly with no hassle.
Tearing? Episiotomies? Stretching of the bits? Bloody hell... <runs away with hands over ears shouting 'la la la can't hear you...'>
For the time being I think I'll stick to worrying about not being able to poo
Art, you know giving birth feels like you're just having one massive poo... :-D
I'm hoping to start pooing more now the morning sickness is receding (odd how my hopes and dreams change :-)
Hello! Do you mind another long-term ttc-er joining you? I used to post a bit on the conception thread, but havent joined my due date antenatal club as I feel a bit like a fish out of water. I do think that having had difficulties ttc, and having had to face the prospect of it not ever happening, makes you approach things differently when it miraculously does happen. So Im currently 13+3, which I still cant quite believe. So far its been pretty easygoing for me, with no nausea (which of course I worried about endlessly), just tiredness and constipation. I found bean stew helps with the latter .
Ill have a proper read through the thread later, but just to dive into a couple of conversations (if you dont mind) Princess, I also heard about the Epi-No and thought it might get me out of having to do the whole massage thing but that article which Ele posted has made me think twice about it now. I also watched the video on tearing which was linked from that article. With hindsight, shouldnt have watched it straight after breakfast but forewarned is forearmed!
On the subject of surnames, this is something we have also been discussing in the Beryl household. By the time the baby arrives, Mr B and I will be married, but I wont be taking his surname. Not really for professional reasons, nor because my name is particularly attractive (its not, and causes all sorts of problems, but thats another story), but as art said, simply because its my name and I cant imagine being/being asked to be someone else. So what do we do with the bairn? Currently, were working on the assumption that s/he will take Mr Bs name, an assumption which is a little uncomfortable for us both. But as someone else said upthread, insisting on the mothers name might feel a little disenfranchising for the father. A double-barrelled solution doesnt work for us (pronunciation wise, but also, I guess, the idea just doesnt appeal/suit us). We mooted the idea of making up a new name using the letters from our own surnames, but I think we were just joking So were in a quandary, which I think will probably result in us ignoring it for a while and then just going with the
patriarchy flow. Hmm, sorry, no great ideas there then! Just sympathy with situation.
Well, a bit of a ramble for a first post, so I should stop now. Hope everyone is having a good start to the week!
Adding to list:
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Artemis First baby 09/08/2013
Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013
Beryl First baby 20/07/2013
Hey Beryl, lovely to see you over here I do remember you from the 10 + board. Glad that pregnancy is treating you well. 13 +3 already!! So many of us are due around the same time, it's lovely. Summery babies all round I hope that it's sunny in May so that I can spend some time in the garden on maternity leave.
Ele I too, like Beryl am having second thoughts about the Epi-No after reading the article. I didn't watch the video - I'm not that brave yet. It was really informative though. Thanks for the post - I found it really helpful. I was also a bit sniffy about birthing pools before, but I'm liking the sound of them more and more as time goes on.
I've got my hypnobirthing taster sesh on Saturday, which we're looking forward to. We get to watch a hypnobirth DVD and talk about what they do over the course. It's looking like fitting it in is a bit of a nightmare and I cried and shouted at DH in Waitrose (oh the shame) about the house not being finished (initial melt down over an oven on ebay that spiraled) and not being able to do the things that were important to me because of the delays and losing all of our weekends to the house last night DH told me we have to do it because he knows it's important, everything else has to be fitted in and he reminded me that he's working his bollocks off to get the house ready ASAP to get me out of the in laws. He also said that I'm tired and need to rest more and that I shouldn't have gone to the supermarket and should have been in bed. I'm now on enforced rest. I had dinner bought to me on a tray last night. I then had 9 hours sleep, only waking a few times for a few moments but I'm still exhausted. Just not teary today. It makes me dread our baby's tantrums because I still have a quite uncontrollable tantrum streak (or Kiki my inner chimp - some of you might remember), which I really struggle to control when tired . I'm so like my mum, who is exactly the same and I really hate this part of my personality / make up.
Baby has been sooo busy too, I wonder if there's been a growth spurt as two of the kicks yesterday were so strong they made me jump! He's tiny at the moment and I just wonder what he'll be like in a few weeks when he's much bigger and heavier!
Loves to you all
Hello Beryl - great to have you on board.
I would also say that I think it is different when you've had a hard journey to get here (esp, when you've sat down and had the hard discussions about what you will do if you can never conceive) it alters how you view things, personally even now I wake up every day amazed that I have a little boy - the wonder of him never goes away and I think it's helped me to be so much more patient and loving as I'm just ever so grateful he's here (even when he is being a total monkey!)
Firstly, can I just apologise for linking to a website with an awful video link. I totally should have vetted the page more as I wouldn't knowingly circulate that to anyone, let alone first time mums - I'm really sorry.
In my defence, while I read the articles on the site I never followed any link - and still haven't some things you don't need to see! (probably my natural squeamishness, I managed to get through my first pregnancy without watching any birthing things, and hope to do the same again this time.)
I would just reiterate that, honest to goodness, I didn't even know I'd had a tear the last time, didn't feel it at all, so however horrible the thought it, please be assured that it won't even be on your horizon when the time comes - honest!
Anyway, sorry for causing any anxiousness, hopefully we can all focus on our little beans instead.
Princess sorry for your waitrose meltdown (although so much classier than a tesco meltdown :-)
On the plus side, Mr P sounds like a complete gem and it does sound as if you are really knackered (and you are growing a new life in there, it will take it out of you) so hopefully some rest will help you feel better - sending you some tea and chocolate (not sure if you're eating such luxury foods now you're pregnant :-)
Hope everyone else is doing well!
Oh Ele, you misunderstood me! I really appreciated you posting the link to the article, and the link which I then followed was really informative I am glad to have found it! Seriously, it explained what happens through a series of diagrams, showing the muscles that are involved and explaining the various types of tearing, ranging from superficial to 4th degree. I genuinely would rather know what to expect. But it is good to hear that you didnt even notice that element of the experience! Apologies for the confusion
Princess the hypnobirthing sounds really interesting. Hope the session goes well on Saturday, and I'd love to hear what you make of it. I am not sure how well I'd get on with that kind of thing, but having just started pregnancy yoga last night perhaps I am finding my inner woo...
Princess Nearly half way through, then you can start counting down the weeks rather than up! This little wriggler is pretty much full length now, from now on its just about putting weight on ready for coming out into the big wide world. Eek.
Ele - Ive got five weeks and counting down to maternity leave - I cannot wait. My mat leave doesnt start until my due date but Im using up annual leave before then (if I dont then Ill lose it all!). No chance of winding down beforehand though
Glad everything went ok with your 20 week scan and hope everything goes ok at 28 weeks. Just think of it as another chance to see your baby. Ive got to have another scan at 36 weeks to check my placenta has moved away from the birth canal (it was very close at 20 weeks) if it hasnt then its a c-section for me.
Arte Positive about the prospect of labour? Im taking the head in the sand approach all this talk of tears and perineal massage has made me realise I need to get reading up! Weve booked onto a full day antenatal class, with an independent midwife, in February so Im hoping that will enlighten us both a bit. We booked this as we dont have any NCT classes nearby either and I didnt fancy sitting in a childrens centre of an evening for the reasons you described!
In terms of telling people about being pregnant, we still had people to tell at 20 weeks I think we were still in shock. But I did tell work once wed had the 12 week scan.
Names are a minefield. It took me a long time to decide to take DHs name when we got married (and I still havent switched my passport!) so I dont envy anyone going through that process. Christian names are another political hot potato amongst in-laws again were a bit head in sand about this at the moment
do you sense a theme?!?
Congratulations teuchter and beryl welcome!
heart yay for bump popping out and maternity jeans! There are some good lists online or in baby magazines (Ive used the Boots parenting club list) of what you need. Youre right, pram and furniture should be the only big expenses
unless Ive missed something, which is very likely
Waves to everyone. Where are the weeks going? I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow - suddenly a number with a '3' at the front seems a bit serious and getting near the business end of it all
Added my stats to the list
and put it in date order because I'm a bit OCD when it comes to lists
Ladygee First baby 27/03/2013
Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Beryl First baby 20/07/2013
Artemis First baby 09/08/2013
Ladygee First baby 27/03/2013
Eletheomel Second baby 28/05/2013
Princess First baby 10/06/2013
Beryl First baby 20/07/2013
Artemis First baby 09/08/2013
Teu First baby 19/08/2013 (their date); 28/08/2013 (my calculation)
I'm still not believing. Have managed 2 days in a row feeling pretty good. Like Artemis, roll on the first scan. Show me that evenything is real and ok.
On the names front, I had a double barrel maiden name and rather regret changing it. Mr Teu didn't want me too, but I'd just been made redundant, and the passport needed renewing, rather feel I lost a bit of me. Anyway, I'm thinking of using it as a middle name. Nothing like getting ahead of yourself!
Princess I'm really hoping it gets it's temperament from MrTeu. I still throw spectacular tantrums, particularly when stressed and anxious.
We are venturing into the interesting terratory of finding our midwife. They are all independent here and get paid x for a delivery. If they have to hand your care over (intervention, CS) they get paid quite a lesser amount. You can't tell me that that won't set up a bias? Terrifies me.
hands over ears, la la la
And we only get 13 wks paid leave - shared between us.
Lovely to see some more names from the TTC 10+ thread.
Welcome to Beryl, great to see someone else over here! thanks for your sympathy with the name scenario. It's good to know I'm not the only one even though there are no easy solutions. I think we might end up going with the patriarchy too, though to be fair having read some of the stuff the midwife left last night we seem to have landed in a whole new world of rampant sexism. Mr A is already getting stroppy that fathers seem excluded from so much of the process and the information given. Our 32-page guide to new babies contains just one 'dads page' (their apostrophe failure, not mine!) which contains the immortal line "You may have noticed, but dads are quite different from mums". No shit, Sherlock. So a surname is starting to feel like one way of ensuring he feels involved from the start.
Princess I'm sorry but I did smile a bit at the hypnobirthing discussion followed by crying in Waitrose . Your DH is probably right, sounds like you need more R&R. I'm sure you'll feel far better when you're in your own place. staying with other people long term leaves you with an enhanced level of background stress that it's easy to forget about until the kind of meltdown you describe. Hugs and caffeine free and I hope you're feeling better today.
Eleth just wanted to reassure you that you didn't freak me out with the link you posted, at least no more than I am already freaking at the prospect of actually having to give birth (yep Teu getting ahead of myself too!). I watched the films and they were very matter-of-fact and useful (thankfully cartoon fanjos only). I am going to have to get over my fear and face up to this stuff. TBH I have been petrified of the thought of birth for as long as i can remember and in my younger days my reasons for not wanting children were as much to do with horror of childbirth than anything else. Clearly it's still a long way off and there are many hurdles to jump before then but it's not a bad idea to start desensitising myself early.
Ladygee wow, 30 weeks! That does seem very close to the 'business end'. How do you feel about the prospect of a c-section? I think given my birthterrors I would find the prospect of major abdominal surgery instead quite a relief but I know that's probably not the right-on middle-class earth-mother thing to say . I didn't know there were independent midwives who ran classes, must look out for something similar near here. I don't think we'll even discuss names with in-laws, i'm taking the 'none of their business' approach as far as I can though it may be a different story when they eventually know!
Teu that sounds like a peculiar situation with the midwives. I would be anxious about them putting off calling for intervention when it was needed though I am sure the vast majority of people who go into that profession will have the best interests of mothers and babies at heart. Their insurance premiums must be huge. Yes, roll on the scan. Mine is a week tomorrow though it will probably just lead to further anxiety given the wait for results... however it will be reassuring to see that the bean is actually real. Other than the constipation I feel fine so it's easy to imagine I've just made the whole thing up. And 13 weeks of paid leave between you doesn't seem anywhere near enough... is that a statutory thing or up to the employer to decide?
The midwife came here this morning to complete the booking in, which mainly consisted of filling in another load of forms. I assume they do home visits to check out your living conditions as part of their risk assessments as there's no reason she couldn't have done all that when I went last week. I daresay some of the situations she sees would set alarm bells ringing. She was very nice but did tell me that because I had IVF I have an increased risk of any number of complications so will be automatically referred to a consultant. Great, more hospital appointments. It shouldn't prejudice my being able to go to the midwife-led birthing unit provided everything goes smoothly but I might have reduced choice. Humph. Something else they don't tell you when you go for IVF!
Waves to Heart and anyone else I haven't mentioned, hope everyone is keeping well and wrapped up warm. i've had the heating on all day, the cat thinks it's died and gone to heaven
Hi Art so glad I didn't add to your freaked-outness - I have to confess I still haven't viewed said cartoon links, but agree that cartoon images are so much preferable to the real thing!
Our midwifes don't really visit home until after the birth, probably different policies in every health board though (maybe they're just extra nosey where you live!)
I have to say I wasn't aware that having an IVF baby risked any other complications? I presumed once egg and sperm got it on and decided to make a go of it, it would just have the same risks of any other pregnancy (we had one failed IVF cycle before we conceived naturally, and I don't remember anyone telling me about that either).
I'm jealous about your heating, I'm trying to keep my bills down so have a blanket on the sofa until it comes on automatically at 4:30, but I might just have to cave (stop my hand from freezing!)
Ladygee 30 weeks does sound so close to the business end, and so close to maternity leave starting too (you must be so excited!) I'm meeting with work on Friday to tell them my dates etc, hoping I've done all my calculations right and I can get all the time off I want :-) 27 March just isn't far away at all!
Waves to princess, beryl, heart, teu, stacks and anyone else out there :-)
Don't have the energy to read back just now, but you've dropped off my threads list so it's time to post. Thomas is still adorable, but I'd really like some sleep...
Nice to see new people over here, the thread hasn't been this active in ages. I noticed the other day that the thread was started in Aug 2011, it's a shame there's not been more of us on here in that time, and more chatting. Things seem much more active recently, more than average 10 plussers graduating? I hope so, and long may it continue.
Eleth I'm glad it's not just me unaware of higher risks with IVF pregnancies, I thought maybe I had had my ears closed when they told me that bit but I am certain it wasn't mentioned! I can't understand why i would be at higher risk of diabetes etc when I have low BMI, low BP, no family history and no other indicators that it would be a problem aside from age (and I bet I am healthier than some of the fag-smoking cider-swigging horse-burger-munching 25-year-olds they see). I wonder if maybe women who have IVF tend to be more susceptible to problems, rather than IVF itself causing problems. Though I suppose i shouldn't complain at a consultant appointment, a bit of extra monitoring won't hurt.
I have the heating on again today, head deep in sand about the cost. i am very conscious that everything I spend from now on is money I won't have for my maternity leave but get cold very fast sitting at my desk and despite layers of jumpers I can't work if my fingers are blue!
Stacks I'm glad all is good with Thomas, though I can't imagine the sleep deprivation quite yet... I think there's been roughly one grad a month from the main thread for the past six months or so, if I include Lemon who sadly mcd. I am really hoping for more grads soon. I just want everyone over here!
hi all, just checking in. I can understand that it must be difficult to decide what to do about names, if double barrelling isn't feasible. Can't offer advice sorry, I wasn't attached to my maiden name at all. I love my dad, but haven't got much time for many of his side of the family, so didn't mind giving up my name. I never saw it as a feminist issue or anything.To be fair, my DH didn't assume I would take his name, but I wanted us and any eventual children to have the same name, felt more like we were becoming a "family" on paper. I quite like being 'Mrs' too. I guess whichever name you choose, using the other one as a middle name might be a good compromise?
Art don't worry about lack of symptoms. I was terrible for worrying about this but the more research I have done and the more real life people I speak to, it's become apparent that LOADS of people don't get many pg symptoms / morning sickness. It's just those people don't go on about it as there is nothing to say, and they don't want to seem smug or whatever.
I did start reading a thread about traumatic birth stories the other night but stopped myself - again, people that had straightforward / easier births won't be writing about it on the internet as often, or telling their friends about it, for the same reasons as above. You don't know what you are going to get, I think the best way is to keep yourself informed but at least go in with a positive frame of mind that you will get through it somehow. We could spend the rest of our pregnancies fretting about labour and end up with a planned ceasarian, and hence have other problems to contend with! When preparing for my laparoscopies and also my medically managed miscarriage I read a lot about it on the internet and there were the most horrendous stories. Those experiences were very difficult and unpleasant, but it is different when you are going through them yourself, you manage at the time because you have to.
Snuggles to Thomas!
Just a quickie from me. No real news. Just flying by to say "hi" and to have a chat. Had a nice yoga sesh and bestie was there too as she missed her usual Monday class. Was lovely to be going together. Especially after feeling so horrible and having the weirdness between us back in summer when she was pregnant and I was in throes of TTC misery. She's 37 weeks now and baby could be here any day! Exciting times! She's promised to text as soon as she has her first contraction but I don't really care if I don't hear until baby's here safely. I'm sure she'll have so much stuff going through her head, not to mention getting her flat ready for the home birth!
So, yesterday I wrote my job description and today I've been writing up the advert and updating procedure notes in prep of leaving. Only 3.5 months to go! I'm being properly replaced and moved to work in other ares of the business because we're small and I'll only be back part time after Xmas. It's weird as I pretty much set up my own little department from scratch and I'll be handing over 2 years stuff to someone new. I'm not sad though, just glad I'm lucky to be in the position I am where everything is so flexible. One of the perks of working for the family firm (please note: we're not the Corleone's even though my PiLs seem to think my family are gangsters )
Did anyone else see the AIBU from the MIL about the DIL? It got deleted as the MIL was a suspected troll. I must admit it made my blood run cold as I saw the inner workings of the MIL mind... it makes me think that even the outwardly sane and lovely MILs have the propensity to turn into horror shows with the arrival of their precious first born grandchild... I'm sure, SURE it will be fine and I'm making things worse in my head but it's still not a pretty set of thoughts!
Anyway, hope we're all feeling well and happy. Lots of love xxx
princess I tend not to look at AIBU because I find that generally it tends to arouse strong feelings (like rage!) and I'm trying to avoid that in pregnancy :-)
I'd try and avoid worrying about potential MiL issues just now, if she does turn into a grandchild obsessed monster, you'll worry about it then (and resolve it, my DH eventually spoke to his parents to tell them to lay off - and it worked - nice enough people, they're just a bit loopy when it comes to grandchildren!) I'm sure we may get similar issues this time, but second time round I feel much better about it and am refusing to let it get to me, they're coming from a good place, I just have to keep reminding myself that :-)
heart I'd avoid reading any traumatic birth stories, I have several friends who had wonderful birth stories, so if you ever want any nice happy ones to counterbalance the horrors just let me know. I'd also say that while folk love to share labour stories (and how awful it was) what they tend not to say is the moment they saw their child, you totally forget about labour and how you got there, and ultimately, worse case scenario, it's maybe 1-2 days of crap but after that you get to see your baby - bargain in my book :-D (fyi, my labour was only 2.5 hours, so quick ones are possible :-)
I've just had a big pot of home made split green pea soup with chopped up veggie hotdogs and bread, and I feel suitably warmed and stuffed (so so glad the ms is disappearing into the distance!) I've also put my heating on and am going to snuggle under a blanket on the sofa until my son gets dropped off at 3pm - cosy winter afternoons!
Hope you all have good weekends and princess hope the hypnobirthing goes well (really keen to see what its like)
Stacks glad you're still loving motherhood (albeit perhaps not the sleep deprivation - you can see why its a popular form of torture!)
lots of love to everyone!
Hope you're all having lovely weekends and well wrapped up against the snow. It's not too bad here, though I haven't been anywhere in the car since it started and have had to be dragged out rather reluctantly on the couple of walks we've done.
Heart thanks for the reassurance about lack of symptoms. I daresay you're right, they are the people you just don't hear about. Nobody ever made headlines by having a trouble-free pregnancy. I will be joining you in avoiding traumatic birth stories. My imagination can conjure trauma enough without fuelling the fire! Eleth it's reassuring to know quick first labours are possible! i might need some of your positive birth stories further down the line and hurrah that the ms seems to be easing off
Princess I fear my mum might be the dread MIL in our situation... DP's parents already have 7 grandchildren who live round the corner from them, courtesy of his ludicrously uber-fertile sister, so I can't imagine they'll view another with any great enthusiasm and despite only living half an hour away they've only been to see us three times in five years. My mum on the other hand has two grandchildren she rarely sees, because my brother lives halfway round the world and he and his wife have not brought the children up to be bilingual so we struggle to establish a relationship when we do see them. So I fear she'll want to be round here at every opportunity - I daresay I will appreciate the help (up to a point!) but I need to make sure it doesn't get too much for Mr A. Eleth I think it's good advice to remember their hearts are in the right place even though their actions might seem a bit much!
Princess it must be exciting to be planning your departure from work! I'm so glad things have worked out with your bestie. I think I'd be too nervous to opt for home birth but the people I know who have done it have had good experiences.
I've been feeling knackered this weekend and starting to notice physical changes - can't climb our stairs without getting out of breath which is disconcerting when i used to do 4-6 hours of cardio a week. I am definitely putting on weight. It's too early for a bump but I've really laid on some fat round my waist, clothes are getting tight and my boobs have finally worked out they're supposed to be doing something (though not to the extent where I need to buy new bras). It feels weird because I don't want to tell people until we know the scan results but I'm sure I caught a friend last night scrutinising my stomach, probably just thinking I've piled it on over xmas. I'm not entirely comfortable with it yet, just feel like I'm getting lardy. Trying not to feel anxious about the scan later this week - thankfully it's a busy one work wise so should keep me distracted.
Loves to everyone, hope you are all well
Hope everyone is keeping nice and warm in this very cold weather. Brrrrrrr! Managed to get out on Saturday for my opticians appointment and hypnobirthing taster. Hypnobirthing was ace and we're all signed up to do classes in March. We got a book and a CD as part of the course. I read most of the book yesterday and it reaffirms everything I want from the birth. The concept is a lot less woo than I thought although some of the practices are a bit but she said that they do loads of different things and couples always find a technique that works for them. I'm not sure I could do it all out of a book or with a CD but I don't think it would be impossible. There's a lot of practice required and a lot of birth preparation but then I much prefer to plan and practice things anyway.
Apart from that we had a quiet weekend. Stocked up on groceries on Saturday. Went for a walk to get some fresh air yesterday.
My back is really aching at the moment. I've been feeling a lot of stretchy type stuff going on and baby has had hours of constant movement followed by hours of inactivity. It's really weird as my bump is solid and out there when he's jiggling and then flatter when he's snoozing. We reckon he has a lie down round the back. Some days it feels like I've got Rocky in training in there.
So, 20 week scan on Wednesday. I can't believe how quickly this is all going! Half way there today! Woop woop!
Artemis when is your next scan. I was really paranoid about people looking at my belly before the 12 week scan because I noticeably put on weight on my belly and face and couldn't fit into my ordinary jeans from 10 weeks. But I managed to keep away from people who didn't know before then or just wore baggy jumpers. I also have the sporadic breathlessness. I nearly fainted packing our suitcases before Xmas and have had a few other moments where I've literally taken a few steps and had to stop. I'm nowhere near as fit as you but I wouldn't say that I'm unfit so it feels weird to be wheezing like an old lady. Just remember that your heart is pumping loads more blood and that when you are resting, you're body is doing the the same as someone who's just been jogging. Our yoga teacher was very strict about us not putting any pressure on ourselves to push ourselves or doing activities which tire ourselves out. She said,"ladies, your bodies are already pushed. We need to learn to take it easy and let go. This isn't easy for people who push themselves daily - at work, during exercise, in life in general but it's really important" I liked hearing that as I felt like a complete wuss last week when I was exhausted after being a busy and doing normal stuff over the weekend.
Ele you are right about the MiL issues. I think it's just all the more "there" because we're "here". But I'm trying to refocus on other stuff as I don't want to start negatively projecting at her when she hasn't done anything wrong. I'm finding the reading and doing stuff with DH really helps and engaging in normal conversation in short bursts with her helpful. Your soup and veggie hot dog combo sounded lush the other day. We had delicious roast chicken, jacket potato and steamed courgette last night followed by crepe suzette and we've got left over chicken tonight. Plus we've been having lots of yummy hot chocolate too. Oh and hot pain au chocolat in bed yesterday. I love being stuck in with yummy food. Mmmmmmn-hmmmmmmn.
Oh and one of the other things I like about hypnobirthing is that they only focus on the positives of pregnancy and birth and don't bang on about the potential problems. It's more than a head in sand kind of thing but it was really refreshing to just think nice thoughts and not have stats and problems hammered into you a la NHS. This made me think about the "french kids don't throw food" book I read recently, where she comments that US / UK press always focus on the negative whilst French people are much more glass half full about these things. I really enjoyed the "french kids don't throw food book". We're not going all out frenchie parenting but I really admire the way they do food, manners, bed time and guilt free time for maman. This will be taken on board chez princess!
Right I've waffled on enough. I need snacks, tea, duvet and my philosophy book before chickeny dinner. Luffs and waves to all xxxx
Hi Art when is your scan? I always felt that time just seemed to drag until scan day - then it was such a relief to see the little wiggler dancing away (even at 12 weeks and feeling sick and nauseas I still never quite believed there was a baby in there until I saw it :-)
Art and Princess you will both have to promise to chant back my 'reasonable' words about MiLs, once this bean is born and I am being driven mad again, remind me how she's coming from a good place and to just ignore what I don't want to hear and let it wash over me (I might need that kind of reminder!)
And Art I think there is definitely an advantage to being pregnant over xmas, people will just write off any bulkiness to too many mince pies :-)
Princess I know what you mean about the 'stretchiness' and achiness, at the moment it's like I can feel all my ligaments loosening up and things are getting a bit sore and tired. I had one of those 'forgot I was pregnant' moments the other day at work, had went downstairs to use the photocopier, realised I'd left key bit of paper upstairs, and did what I used to do pre-pregnancy, tried to run up the stairs 2 steps at a time - what was I thinking??? Could barely lift my legs up the 2 steps, and I felt like someone had tied concrete to my feet, everything felt so heavy, I was very close to totally overbalancing and falling! Fortunately, no-one saw this very inelegant event and I've resolved to stick to one step at a time from now on!
Glad the hypnobirthing taster went well. I'd like to do classes but I'm never going to fit it in with DS etc. I bought a natal hypnotherapy book (similar thing, I think although I'm sure both sets of practitioners would disagree!) and I think I might get a CD and try and brainwash myself to think relaxing thoughts for the last few months of my pregnancy :-) Not sure I'll be engaging with the process as much as I should, but anything that can help get me centred and focused during the event is worth a shot.
I had a very quite weekend, made the mistake (on sunday morning) of trying foods that I probably aren't ready to go back to. I wanted (so I had) a glass of OJ and a boiled egg and toast and 90 minutes later, saw it all again and felt rubbish all day! Had been doing so well too, really annoyed at myself for just trying 2 food items that I know had made me ill before - think I'm just so impatient to get back to normal, I forget I have to keep introducing the 'old foods' little by little. Ah well, lesson learned!
Waves to everyone, hope you're all enjoying the snow (if you've got any, I don't and I'm most disappointed about it!)
Just swinging in to say that we had our 20 week scan today. Baby is looking all good and healthy. Placenta is 'round the back and not blocking the exit. Baby was quiet this morning, wasn't having any of the prodding and they had to tip me up backwards to try and move him around!!! We still don't know sex and stuck to not finding out. I have some very cute pics of baby with his foot on his forehead and hands in his mouth - long legs and bendy - a little yogi in the making!!
Hope everyone is well
Great news Princess, glad all is looking good! Half way there, wow. Time seems to really drag in these early stages but I bet when you get further along everything just speeds up. The hypnobirthing sounds like it really suited you, I'm looking forward to further reports as you get into the course. I'm going to learn a lot from you ladies who are a few months ahead of me! I like your yoga teacher's advice. I went to pilates yesterday and the instructor was great, told me what I could and couldn't do, but it sounds like there'll be a lot I can't do in another month as I won't be able to lie on my back. Perhaps it will be time to take it easy, keep active through walking and swimming but enjoy not putting myself under pressure to keep to a gym schedule and stay a certain size and weight. There'll be plenty of time to worry about that later. I also wanted to say I loved your post to Lemon on the 10+ thread. You always seem to know exactly what to say. I still read and am rooting for everyone on there. It's like a bunch of friends but I feel a bit weird posting now I'm not sharing the same experiences any more, even though I can fully empathise with how it feels and I'm sure nobody would run me out of town for sticking my beak in!
Ele you're right about Christmas, I'm really glad it fell when it did, gives me an excuse for porking up a bit! I had a chat with a colleague the other day about excess of wine and mince pies (I went along with the wine bit ) and lack of exercise. It must be odd feeling ligaments starting to loosen and being less physically capable than you think you are! I hope the sickness is subsiding again, that sounds rotten. Hope you got some snow in the end... I'm tired of ours now, I have spent a lot of time getting acquainted with the public transport system because we live on quite a steep hill that doesn't get gritted and I have been scared to drive. The roads are pretty much clear now though so i will probably venture out in the car tomorrow as getting to the hospital by bus is a hassle.
I've got my 12 week scan and bloods tomorrow morning and am a bit anxious still but relieved the waiting for it is nearly over and reminding myself that there's a far greater chance of everything being fine than not. We have agreed we'll just take whatever comes which has made me feel a bit better. Mr A has started to talk more about the baby as a thing that's actually happening, which is good as he's not really acknowledged it much so far (something else I was getting anxious about ). He has a good friend at work who had a baby a year ago and has started appearing with titbits of advice from her which is quite nice as it means he's got someone to talk to about it. I don't know anybody who's had a baby in the last few years so can't have those kinds of conversations apart from on here!
Waves to Heart, Stacks, Teu, Beryl, Frannie, Ladygee and anyone lurking , hope you're all well.
I'm away with work and am being kept awake by a very wriggly baby!
Just wanted to say to Artemis good luck for your scan today.
And princess, half way there woohoo! I must take a look at hypnobirthing - a few people have mentioned how good it is.
I'll post properly when I'm back home as posting on my phone seems to take an age. Waves to everyone
Good luck artemis. I'm sure it will all be fine. I love that MrA has someone to talk to and is starting to talk about the baby. MrTeu called it interesting and abstract when we first found out. I guess it is weird for them, nothing to see really.
Gosh, half way there princess. Exciting!
MrTeu decided to put teak oil on a piece of furniture last night, stank the house out and sent me into a tizz over I shouldn't be breathing this and how could he be so inconsiderate. Cue tears and angst that I pushed him into this, bless him he just sat with me and let me blurt about being scared - of what we've got ourselves into, of having to do this on my own etc etc. Coz I'm a giant scaredy cat, and anxiety freak. He's a good man and I do know why I married him.
Anyway, better go give him his dinner. Waves to all.
Hi all, sorry for radio silence, I'm having problems with cookies and logging in to mumsnet
art hope scan goes well today
princess half way through - wow!
ele sorry to hear about the egg incident - after a few days of no nausea I was back to dry retching again on Sunday so taking it easy again.
I feel like I just get chubbier and chubbier... but no bump!
All fine here, nearly on our way back home from overseas and have no where to live... feel like nesting might kick in early
I'm now 15+3 weeks. I've been to a few pilates classes recently which were really good - but gave conflicting advice about what you can't do. One said lots of stuff, teh other basically said no twisting movements and not to stretch obliques - otherwise whatever is comfortable. Which correlates with what I've seen on the internet so I'm taking it! Pilates are free here, but I googled and it seems they're about £14 a pop in London?! I think I'll be investing in a CD!
I'm also planning to do hypnobirthing classes - a friend has already given me the CD, but I think I'll do the classes instead of nct. Empowerment is the key!
Hi all, just swinging by very quickly to say good luck Art hope you have a lovely scan today
Will check in properly later. Waves, loves and lots of hot mugs of as it's so cold again today. Brrrrrr.
Just popping by to report on the scan, thanks for all the good wishes. It went fine - was pretty amazing really, I'm actually starting to believe there might be a real live baby in there! It was waving at us and kicking its legs, we could see it drinking in the amniotic fluid. Bonkers. Apparently it looks 'as they would expect' for this stage which I guess has to be good. We have 2 weeks to wait for the results, but the nuchal measurement was 1.4 which Google tells me is within normal range for my dates and I am pretty sure I can see a nasal bone on the scan pic so am taking some reassurance from that even though the sonographer said the measurements are 'meaningless' without the bloods. Hoping for a quiet 2ww for a letter, they will only ring if there's a problem so no news is good news this time. I'm waiting for results before we tell people. I know the results can be wrong and offer no guarantees, but I feel I need another fortnight to get my head around telling people
putting it off, particularly work clients where I'll need to have suggestions for how they get their work done when I'm not available. My mum went all gushy on the phone earlier, had to rein her in. I am going to get a LOT of knitted items. And I am sure her friends will all know long before mine!
Is anyone else's DH/DP feeling a bit left out? It's not a problem but Mr A is a bit naffed off with the lack of advice/info provided for dads. The hospital waiting room had a baby-related info film playing on a loop and it had a little 'this is for dads' section. There were exactly two pieces of advice. 1) 'Tell your employer the due date in good time so you can arrange your paternity leave!' and 2) 'Why not get all those little DIY jobs done around the house that you've been putting off for ages?' Great. Work and DIY! Not stereotypical/patronising at all . I know it's only a stupid film but it's kind of representative of the info we've had so far. I'm assuming it's because the NHS's responsibility is to the health of me and the baby and no further, but if anyone knows of a good non-patronising pregnancy & baby book aimed at dads I'd be glad to hear of it.
Hope everyone is well. Ladygee it's good news that the baby is wriggling around even if it's keeping you awake! Practice for later maybe .
Mellow gosh the house move situation must be stressful though you do sound quite sanguine about it! I went to a Pilates class on Tuesday and the instructor told me I shouldn't work the upper abs or obliques after 12 weeks so no crunches (hurrah!) or twisting. She said to do the plank from my knees not toes
like I can actually hold plank anyway for more than 30 seconds before collapse and in the roll down move (the one from a sitting position) not to go all the way back. She's had 2 children herself so I trust her judgment but I haven't had that detailed advice from other gym instructors and have been merrily working my abs as normal during other classes. I guess I'm off the hook for a while now or rather just storing up 9 months of painful work for after August
Teu I've had a similar issue to your teak oil scenario with some olbas oil that Mr A lashed all over the pillow for his cold... I didn't think about it at first but then checked via the infamous Dr Google and people are saying it's not tested for use in pregnancy. Which doesn't mean it's not safe, but still... I had to go to the hospital yesterday to have a bit of plastic removed that had got trapped in my eye (thankfully not as bad as it sounds) and couldn't even have the antibiotic eye drops because they're not confirmed as safe for pregnancy. It stands to reason that a lot of things aren't tested in pregnancy but probably leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety. I did get my first free prescription though so there are some perks
Princess hope you're good. Sounds like hypnobirthing is catching on! I must do some research, when I can make my way past firm denial that is
I'd better go stick the oven on for what will be a lazy and undoubtedly non-midwife-approved tea
involving oven chips . Love and waves to all.
Congrats on the scan art! It is such a relief to see there really is a baby in there, isnt it?! It sounds like all is well and Im sure your results will be fine. Its mean, though, making you wait 2 weeks. I guess we were really lucky we were told to come back an hour later whereupon the sonographer went through our results with us. Good luck with starting to tell people, when you decide to take the plunge. We have been doing some of that this last week, which has been quite good fun actually. Although Ive had a few that was good timing remarks (Ive just finished my PhD), which have caused an inward smile/hollow laugh. As if. We long gave up any pretensions to being able to plan a family!
besides which, my bank balance suggests this was not the most sensible timing
Im afraid I cant recommend any books for dads at the moment, but shall keep an eye out. Its a good point that Mr A has raised. So far, Mr B hasnt said anything about feeling left out, but its something to bear in mind. Hes got an app on his phone which gives him updates on how the baby is progressing each week, and I think he finds that quite fun.
Hi mellow! How far along will you be when you move back home? I hope it all goes smoothly for you. I know what you mean about feeling chubbier and chubbier without getting a proper bump. My stomach sticks out, but it is jiggly rather than firm and I think has more to do with the iced spiced buns Ive been tucking into recently than my growing uterus I normally dont find it difficult to say no to sweet things, but thats certainly changed over the last week or so. Must get a grip before its too late!
Sorry to hear about the teak oil incident, teu, and hope dinner was tasty
there I go again thinking of food
The wriggly baby sounds reassuring, ladygee! I cant wait to start feeling movements, as it still seems a bit unreal at the moment. Although I suspect that I might be less enthused after a sleepless night or two.
Congrats to you, too, princess on your scan results. Wonderful news that the baby is good and healthy, and great too that the placenta is behaving. Thats one of the
far too many things I am worrying about at the moment
Im glad to hear your hypnobirthing session went so well. And ele, if you do get a CD Id be interested to know how you get along with it, as it is something I am thinking of trying.
Right, time to get into the bath before its completely cold. Waves to everyone and hope youre all coping with this chilly weather!
Artemis I went looking for The Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy which I remember as being quite amusing, and came across this: www.amazon.co.uk/The-Blokes-Guide-To-Pregnancy/dp/140190288X/ref=pd_sim_b_2 No idea if it would be any good.
Booked our scan today - Monday 4 Feb. Think we might take the prospective Grandparents along too as they arrive for a visit on Friday next. Want to get excited but don't want to jinx it.
princess and art congratulations on your scans :-) It's great seeing them isn't it - reminds you that you're not just getting fat and awkward but there is actually a life in there!
Art my nuchal scan results were the same as yours (1.4) and we were also told it would take 2 weeks for the blood results, but we actually got ours through the post 3 days later - may just have been lucky, but you never know maybe the 2 weeks is the maximum to cover themselves so you might get the results earlier?
beryl will let you know about the CD - although realise I'll probably need to turn it into an mp3 so I can listen to it on my ipod as my old mobile cd-player died many years ago! The one I'm planning to get is this one: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Effective-Birth-Preparation-Hospital-Centre/dp/1905220502
ladygee so sorry you're getting kept awake by your wriggling bean (I feel pretty sleep deprived myself and it's not nice) but still so reassuring to know they're alive and kicking in there! My DH felt our little bean kick last saturday (not managed to feel it since then, think it was the position at the time, you can't generally feel it kicking from the outside, but I think it resented the pressure of his hand and struck out - he was well chuffed :-) Started remembering when my DS was in there and when he put his ear to my tummy, he would kick him in the face (he's 3 now and still occassionally kicking him in the face lol :-)
mellow so impressed with your laidback attitude - I'm sure that will stand you in great stead in the weeks to come :-)
I just feel so tired today, finished work a bit early and am seriously thinking of trying to squeeze in a nap before picking my DS up at 3pm (but know that I'll probably just lie in bed wide awke - odd how I can fall asleep on sofa in front of crap telly very easily, but a big comfy bed to myself makes me wide awake!)
Waves to everyone I've not namechecked and hope you all have a great weekend (I have nothing planned but some housework :-(
Great news art - it is so nice isn't it! Fingers crossed for your bloods - I'm sure as ele says, 2 weeks is the maximum.
ele I have the same thing about nodding off on the sofa, then lying their wide awake in bed, very irritating I also have early morning waking - I'm not quite so laid back as I make out I suspect - although I'm thinking about work rather than anything, have quite a lot to do in the next month - beryl - I'm trying to finish my thesis and submit my PhD by Easter
it was supposed to be March but pregnancy induced napping and distraction in December put it back
I've borrowed the Rough Guide to Pregnancy which is alright. I also have what to expect when you're expecting. I don't really like the style of either, but it is nice to dip into something.
I've just discovered that bio-oil is only about £4.50 here (rather than £14.99 in Boots ) so despite knowing that there is bugger all evidence it makes any difference to stretch marks, I'm going to stock up! Can't hurt right!
Oh and today I was saying goodbye to some people at work and told them I was pregnant and I got a couple of classic responses - "was it planned" ( yes, about 2 years ago ) and "how many are you going to have" - well based on how long this one took to conceive, I just don't know!
I know they are just stock answers for people, but honestly!
Just a real quickie as am on phone, but had to pop in to say yay to Art and Princess for fab scans I just love love good news on this thread. I know how nervy it is (especially the 12 weeker) so let's all celebrate and pop the corks on the appletizer ladies!
Me: bump feels huge / can't sleep / think I felt baby move few times / 20 week scan next week / hate shopping for maternity clothes (it's online all the way from now on)
Will be back over weekend xx
Ps my DH has blokes guide to pregnancy - I thought it was good actually, a good brief overview of the main stuff, and the author and his wife suffered 3 mcs I think so they aren't baby dusters. I go a bit teary when I see my DH reading it, he's so sweet One of the chapters is called 'the third trimester: she's as big as a cow' which made me laugh
OMG - just had email from friends which is freaking me out
we're trying to decide where to live when we return and thought we should find out about childcare in the area we'll start looking (next Saturday
So I emailed a couple of friends who both recommended putting squiggle down for 2 nurseries now and to consider paying £50 to put name down for 2 private schools as well (with no guarantee they'd get in!)). BEFORE THE CHILD IS BORN!
What crazy world is this we're moving to?!
We had a similar conversation with friends last night, mellow! They are also expecting and have been advised by relatives to book the nursery place asap. Its crazy. Good luck with finishing your phd. That last stretch is a killer, but its such a relief once its done
Ooh, and lucky you with the reasonably-priced bio-oil! Mr B bought me a bottle for Christmas and
even though I know it wont make a difference Im greasing myself up
Good luck with your scan next week, heart! It must be so exciting feeling the baby move.
Thanks for the link to the CD, ele; Ive added it to my wish list and shall be interested to hear how you get on with it. Hope you are feeling less tired today and have a relaxing weekend. Im going to a spa with some friends tomorrow and looking forward to splashing around in the pool. Less looking forward to getting into my swimsuit
Waves to everyone else and hope youre having fun!
Eh? Mellow and Beryl Nursery waiting lists you say? Putting names down for private schools? Blimey and I thought I was organised! I hadn't even considered nursery!! We have a little local one, but I don't know when baby will go as we should be able to juggle childcare between us up until baby is 1. And if DH can get more clients we may be able to delay that for a bit. We won't be able to afford private school so we won't be going down that route anyway.
Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.
Baby is getting much more active, I could see my tummy moving where baby was moving in the bath on Saturday, which I thought hilarious! Last night he rolled himself up into a ball and wedged himself in the righthandside of my tummy. DH nearly wet himself! We have also found that he moves around if you tap all over where he is. It's actually quite a fun game!
So, I had a lovely sesh with my old nutritionist on Friday. My diet has only been modified a little to try and stop the vomming (I've had a couple more incidences recently) and to try and make me more comfortable in the bowel area.
Artemis I've just been getting outspoken with any kind of sexist comments. We're looking for a new car and you wouldn't believe how awful some of the salesman can be. i.e. assuming that DH will decide and be paying and I'm his PA. I actually got quite cross at one the other day. I hate all this gender stereotyping. And yes, that NHS video is a prime example. I'm glad that Mr P is on my level with such issues and that we have a fairly equal relationship all things considered. Grrrrrrr.
Mellow I've been suffering with waking up at night too. I haven't had it quite so bad the past couple of nights but it usually involves needing a wee at 3am and then being wide awake at 6am worrying about house stuff and general life things. I'm also religiously oiling my ever expanding bump. I got a lovely organic stretch mark system at Xmas, which was quite expensive but it seems to be lasting really well... I have a cream in the morning and an oil in the evening. I really hope I don't get bad stretch marks, my mum did (hence the posh oil/cream) and being a little vain, it does scare me. But I do think that a few stretch marks are a small price to pay. I just get a bit bothered some days when I feeling like a pregnant hippo and wondering what I'll look like post-baby. It feels very selfish and indulgent to think like that, especially as I really want baby and wanted him for so long -- I guess it's quite normal though
Waves to Ladygee, Ele, Teu and everyone else Ohhhhhh and looks like we're going to have a new grad join us soon, did everyone see Joy's really wonderful IVF news? Joy when you're ready come and hop aboard with us too!
Heart good luck with your scan!
Princess it must be lovely seeing the bump expanding and the 'make the baby move' game sounds fun! Glad the brown goddess has been able to help you with the diet stuff again. She does indeed sound like someone who should be worshipped!
Heart good luck for the scan this week, exciting times!
Eleth I had a weekend of housework too. I also made a cake. Both these things are completely out of character for me! The weather has been foul here so i didn't even leave the house yesterday.
Mellow and Beryl good god how can people expect you to think about nurseries and schools when the baby isn't even here yet?! I don't know what it's like in our area, I don't know anyone with young children - I'm so far behind my friends most of them are thinking about secondary schools not nurseries. And Mellow I'm amazed at the rude questions. I would never dream of asking someone whether their baby was planned! Seriously, what do they expect you to say? That you were shagging so wildly that the condom broke?
Teu thanks for the book link and well done on booking the scan. I'm not normally superstitious but at the moment I feel like everything I do is going to jinx things
Beryl hope you enjoyed the spa day, it sounds like a lovely relaxing thing to do.
Anxious update from me today. I had some bleeding yesterday and today which has really scared me. It started after sex, which Dr Google suggested might be down to an over-sensitive cervix, but was still continuing this morning so I have been majorly panicking. It's bright red blood and not heavy but does contain a couple of small clots. I got through to the midwife this morning (after half an hour with two phones on repeat dial, one to the midwives and one to the ante-natal unit) and have an appt at the gynae assessment ward tomorrow morning to check it out. For some reason they are not sending me to the EPAU but maybe this was the only appointment she could get. She said my first instinct was probably right but they would take a history and may or may not do a scan - apparently they don't like to do scans less than a week apart because there is no research on how repeated scanning might affect the baby. Bleeding seems to have subsided to spotting in the last hour but i am counting the hours until tomorrow morning and keeping everything crossed that the baby is OK. It terrifies me because my mc started after a couple of days of painless spotting while I blithely assumed that because it didn't hurt it would be OK. After everything we've been through and especially after seeing the baby waving at us on the scan last week I don't think I could cope with losing it at this stage but plenty of women do mc after 12 weeks. Need to step away from google now, it's no longer helpful. I had no idea pregnancy would involve this amount of stress and anxiety.
I must get back to work, if I can manage to concentrate it might take my mind off worrying. I have 3 big reporting deadlines this week (all unrelated) and a conference to organise, and a client who has been ignoring my requests for information for about a month has suddenly reappeared and decided everything is now urgent. Why does everything happen at once?!
Waves to everyone, hope you're all well.
Oh Artemis I hope everything is ok. I'm sure it is. As you say, it's probably just a little bleeding after the cervix being knocked. Best to get it all checked out though. I'll say this in the most gentle way, step away from the google and focus on all the positive stuff. There's too much horror out there and it's totally terrifying, especially when we're feeling vulnerable. Big hand holds and thinking of you and hoping that the appointment goes well tomorrow. I'm sure it will. Have a big proper non MN hug and loads of love. XXXXXXXXXXX
Dear art so horrible for you, but I'm sure it is just that your cervix is sensitive and nothing else, but will keep fingers crossed for assessment. And while some women do miscarry after 12 weeks, the majority of women who have bleeding in pregnancy go on to carry to term.
Hope you find some distraction through work and sending you a huge hug
Art I'm so sorry that you're going through this just now. I think, giving the timing of the bleed, you're right and it will be cervix/sex related and your bean will be fine, but I would be terrified myself (my mmc also started with light spotting and no pain) so can only imagine you're the same. At least you've got an appointment tommorow (but quite surprised they're not seeing you today.
My friend (who had a healthy baby boy in september) had bleeding on and off during the first and second trimester (and in each instance there was nothing wrong, but she hadn't had any bleeding in her first pregnancy so was perpetually worried (as you would be) that things were going awry) but each time she contacted the midwife, they asked her to go to the EPU the same day to get it checked out, but maybe that's a good sign, that they're not rushing you in.
I think throwing yourself into work is a good way to get through the day, and I'd try and focus on seeing your little bean moving about. Statistics don't help, but only 3% of pregnancies aged 12 weeks will end in miscarriage, so you have a 97% chance that everything is absolutely okay.
Nothing is going to make you feel better until you get to tommorow and find out for sure, but I just want you to know I'm sending you as many positive thoughts as I can, and you know we'll all be thinking of you and sending you big hugs.
Art Im so sorry to hear about the bleeding but, like others have said, it sounds like what you suspect and is probably sex/cervix related. Its great that youre getting checked out tomorrow and we shall all be keeping everything crossed for you. It must feel like an age to wait, but try to distract yourself with work
easier said than done, I know
I had a lovely time at the spa, thank you. Tempered only by going to the toilet halfway through and noticing a bright red dot on the loo roll. In trying to ascertain its provenance, I re-wiped and found a small clot. This put a dampener on my spa-ing so I spent the rest of the time lounging by the pool
worrying reading. Far TMI those of a delicate nature stop reading now but I think/hope the blood is related to a bizarre lump/inflamed mole/blood blister thing I found in my nether regions when I was taking a bath the other day. Smaller than pea-size, it bled when I poked it probably shouldnt have poked it but had deflated by the next morning, so I was just hoping it would go away! Since finding it Ive seen a couple of dots of blood in my knickers, although nothing so far today
Ive got my 16wk appointment with the midwife on Thursday so am trying to hang on til then to ask about it.
On a more positive note, it is so great to hear about joys bfp! Totally thrilled for her and keeping everything crossed its a sticky bean.
princess i was so stunned when I saw your post about Joy's BFP. I'd been lurking on the board and had followed joy's story up until she started bleeding and thought it was all over. And it was all a bit depressing so I hadn't been back on, so when I saw your BFP post, I thought - have I got that wrong?
So I went back on and saw she had a BFP! It's fabulous news, I'm so hoping it's a sticky bean and hangs on in there - be great to get Joy over here too, I don't think we can have enough people on this Board, I'd love everyone to graduate over here - every BFP on the ttc board is just so hard won, not to mean their pregnancies are any more important than anyone elses, but you just know the emotional journey involved and how hard it was.
Re: stretchmarks, didn't get any until week 35 then they literally appeared overnight! I was really worried about them at the time, but since he was born and they all turned 'silver' I really don't mind them at all. In fact I feel quite fond of them (they remind me he was actually in there!). I've not actually used any creams this time round, just accepting the inevitable :-)
Thanks for the hand-holding everyone, it does help. Eleth i don't know why they're not seeing me today either, can only imagine they're booked up, either that or they don't see it as urgent because if it was bad news there would be nothing they could do anyway. It took me ages to get through on the phone this morning, it was either engaged or going to answerphone and the midwife said they had a backlog of calls from the weekend. In a way I can understand them not providing mobile or emergency phone numbers, they'd be inundated 24/7 with anxious women asking questions, but it does mean that if anything happens at the weekend you're stranded until Monday unless it's bad enough to actually go to A&E.
Actually the thing that upset me as much as the bleeding is Mr A's response. He seems to think i'm over-reacting and just keeps saying 'it'll be fine'. When I was upset last night he carefully manoeuvered me so he could give me a hug and still see the telly and today I've not even heard from him since this morning apart from a text asking if i know where his driving licence is . From his reaction when I told him about the appointment it doesn't sound like he's planning to come with me tomorrow either .
On a positive note it was brilliant to hear about Joy's BFP. What a roller-coaster. She must be still terrified but hopefully it will work out OK, all that monitoring should give her the best possible chance. I agree Eleth I want everyone over here too. I do think the stakes seem higher when pregnancies are so hard won. On the August board there were women leaving after mc saying 'I'm out, but I'll be back soon on another board' and I just couldn't imagine having that confidence that another conception after mc would be guaranteed. You end up with a different mindset I think.
Hi Art,just wanted to say that I had bleeding at 14 weeks and it turned out to be cervix related and absolutely fine. As others have said, the most likely outcome is that it will be fine, so take some deep breaths and try and distract yourself - I know it is hard. Can you get a friend to go with you tomorrow if Mr A isn't going to? Also if you want another scan then make sure they book you in for whenever it is safe again. Feel free to make a fuss if they refuse. You can get your GP to request it if not.
I hadn't heard about Joy but that is so great! I am going to go and have a read of what happened. Hopefully she will come and join us really soon.
Waves to all xx
Oh thank you Heart, it's reassuring to know that someone else has been through similar and come out OK. I'll go on my own tomorrow, it'll be fine. A friend did offer but she'd have a 90 minute drive to get here and that didn't seem fair. I considered ringing my mum but didn't want to worry her, would rather keep it to myself until I know what's going on.
I can't believe how much of a twat Mr A is being about this. He has spent the whole evening whining about the earache he's already been whining about for the best part of a week yet refuses to see the doctor for. He went off to bed in a sulk at 9pm, presumably because he wasn't getting enough sympathy. And yet he's managed to make me feel like I'm making a fuss about nothing. I don't know whether to be or - on balance going for the , I've had enough of being upset.
Will report back tomorrow. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
Ooh forgot to ask Heart, is it the case that you can request extra scans if you have concerns? I had assumed that unless they say different tomorrow I'd then have to wait until 20 weeks.
Good luck today Art. Thinking of you xxx
Hi Art, so sorry Mr A isn't giving you the support you need. We are all thinking of you today. With the scans, my EPU has always been very good about reassurance scans after bleeding, especially those with history of mc. So push for it if they aren't talking about rescanning (although I am sure they will offer if you let them know how worried you are). If they refuse go and see your GP and get referred back to them, or you can always pay for a private scan somewhere else if you prefer. I doubt it will come to this though I am sure they will take care of you,they may just want you to wait until a week has passed since the last one to protect your little one. Do let us know how you get on.
Just reporting back. Had the scan this morning and all looks fine which is a massive relief. They can't say what was causing the bleeding - they don't like to fiddle with the cervix apparently, so they just did an ultrasound - but the sac was intact and baby looks fine which is the main thing. They said if I have no more problems I won't have any more scans other than the routine one at 20wks, but if I have any more bleeding to contact the midwife/GP again to be referred for investigation. The nurse was lovely and said they always investigate bleeding and treat each incidence separately, I suppose it's good that they don't make any assumptions.
Mr A came with me in the end, he seems to have woken up this morning and remembered how not to be a twat, though we did have one of those rubbish conversations that went, him: 'do you want me to come with you?' Me: 'Come if you want to'. Him: 'But do you want me to come?' Me: 'Only if you want to', and so on ad infinitum until finally I cracked and said YES I WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME! To which his response was, 'well why didn't you just ask?' . Typical male logic. The only answer i had, of course, was 'because I am a woman and you should be able to guess what I'm thinking at all times' . Really though, it shouldn't have been rocket science to work out I might have needed some support. Anyway all fine now, and he has finally gone to the doctor to get his ear checked out so perhaps the whining will stop. When Mr A is ill he acts like a nine-year-old boy. I should look on it as practice, I suppose.
Thank you all for the hand-holding yesterday, I was genuinely terrified. It's brought home to me how fragile this all still is. One day at a time.
Hope you are all well today xx
Hurrah for the good news scan, art!! You did make me at your getting the practice in with Mr A! Glad he came up trumps in the end. Now make sure you have a nice, relaxing day/week after all this upset.
Oh Art that's great news - so so happy and relieved for you!
And I'm chuffed that Mr A got his a**e in gear and stepped up to the mark (I forgo all those type of conversations now and just start with the 'i want you to come with me' line - I find it saves time :-)
Hope you have a nice relaxing day and spoil yourself tonight.
(hopefully Mr A will get something for his earache - I hate earache, I'd have been down the docs first thing!)
Oh Art I'm so pleased for you. What a scare though. I hope you're feeling relieved. It doesn't get any easier does it?! Do you think Mr A is still coming to terms with the pregnancy and is maybe a bit head in the sand about the scary stuff cos it's easier to deal with that way? Not very helpful for you but I can sort of see that if you are terrified and don't know what to do you might try and "ignore" and hope for the best? It took Mr P a long time to get into me being pregnant because of the scares we had in the past. He was brilliant at looking after me yes, but acknowledging we were going to have a baby - not so much. Now he has been to the scans and can feel the movements and as my belly gets huger and huger he's definitely in the "baby zone". Maybe Mr A is just acclimatising.
Anyway, I find "instructing" easiest rather than hoping he can read my mind (although I have often had the, couldn't-you-have-used-that-brain-inside-that- head-to-work-this-out? conversation) and I send Mr P all of our appointments via our iCal by email with the expectation that he comes along - there is no choice or preference, he is just expected as part of the process. We know where we stand. Easy for us though as Mr P is self employed. If his work is flexible, maybe you could say to Mr A that he is just expected at all medical appointments because he is the Dad and it is 50% his responsibility to know about the development of his baby? And if they are not, maybe tell him that you expect him to look at your notes when he comes home after the appointments and to talk though anything he doesn't understand?
Right, I have a busy if not annoying day at work today doing something completely outside of my remit, which is making me feel very, very itchy indeed. If I wasn't popping out a baby in a few months time I would seriously be considering a different job. I hate days like today. I didn't sleep well, I've got a sore tummy again (I made the mistake of making porridge with real milk as a "treat" and I feel like I'm going to vom - sudden dairy intolerance is pissing me off) and my mum has made me all annoyed. I also had a cry, I think I'm tired because I feel trapped by my job at the moment. I would like to consider something slightly different next year but I just think I'll be unemployable once I've had the baby and that my current situation although boring and not stretching me or taking me in any sort of direction is super flexible. I think I'm just tired and grumpy today
and having a sulk because I'm having to do something I don't want to do
Hope everyone is else is feeling chipper Bumpy hugs all-round (I'm getting huge and quite scared about how much bigger I'm going to get over the next 19 weeks - eek and ouch!)
So pleased Art. From the sadness and despondency of long term ttc you would think we would be hopping around happy to be pregnant - and although we are OVER THE MOON pregnancy after long term ttc is really stressful as we know how fragile and precious it is. I have reached new levels of anxiety. One day at a time, but remember the stats are well on our side now.
Enjoy today - you are pregnant and everything is fine - woooooo! and sounds like things are better with Mr A too.
Princess I am trapped in a job I hate too. No prospects, hate my boss, it's boring, and it's miles away from where I live. But there's a good maternity package and a good chance of going part-time afterwards. I'm hoping only working half the week will mean I only hate it half as much...logic?! Priority now is baby though and I'll work everything else out later.
ps I did get a bumper package from jojo maman bebe this morning which has cheered me right up - I had got very depressed in the high street as hated all the maternity clothes sections. Feeling like a very glamorous mum to be now. Even bought a maternity swimsuit to make me get my butt down to aquacise!
Ooh Heart your bumper pack of new clothes sounds very exciting! I must admit I had a bit of a spend in the ASOS sale after Xmas as I had vouchers from my birthday to use up. I got loads and loads for not very much, so have pretty much managed to kit myself out with a capsule wardrobe for the foreseeable. I could do with a swimsuit though as the one I got a couple of weeks ago (panic buy from the huge 24 hour Tesco at 11pm before a spa day when I realised all my swimwear was packed and indecent!) is not the best. But then again, I don't have easy access to a swimming pool until we move and as I'm growing by the day - alarmingly so - I think I'll leave swimsuit buying for a while.
Today is getting better. I'm actually enjoying the task I thought was crappy this morning. I've decided I'm very very tired hence the big grump this morning. I can barely keep my eyes open but I've just had an illicit second cup of real tea and am going to power through the last hour of today. Baby is having a rave with all the stimulants, his daily patterns are alarmingly like Mr Ps and he even seems to wriggle after Mr P's favourite foods!! Or maybe I'm just imagining things and projecting too much onto the little thing!
So job, I'm thinking that once I've taken some time out for maternity and come back part time I'll be able to reassess where we are later in 2014 when we've settled into house, poss nursery and we know what Mr P is up to (fingers crossed full time - so I could a job with more prospects even if it's lower paid). The planner in me is going mental at the moment - after wanting baby for so long I'm starting to be hit with the reality that there isn't long to go now and our lives are going to change so much. I'm starting to feel a bit disorientated -- but that could just be my anxiety kicking in because of the tiredness. As you say, there's nothing that can be done right now on the job front. There's only 3 months and 11 days (I just love those online count down calculators!) until maternity leave now and then I won't have to worry about anything but the new addition until January 2014. Suck it up, suck it up!
Gawd what a rant. Some days I need to be in a busier environment to stop the brain from wittering on!!
No time to read just now, but posting to keep lurking.
Eleth I'm going to take a leaf from your book next time and just tell Mr A what to do . I think the seriousness with which we were treated at the hospital made him realise I wasn't just fussing over nothing. He's also got a book about pregnancy and fatherhood which has led to some interesting texts. Today's was 'birthing sounds interesting'. Really? Still in denial about that. He has discovered that many women do a poo during labour which I think has blown his mind somewhat. He fancies sharing my gas and air. I suggested that I would be gripping onto his balls so tightly that he would probably need it
Heart the parcel sounds good and yay for being a hot mama! I've only just started thinking about maternity clothes and am already anxious about finding stuff to fit, I am tall and it's a big enough nightmare without being pregnant. I haven't looked around yet but am hoping somewhere is enlightened enough to do smart work trousers in a 34" leg! On the plus side I have spent bugger all money on clothes for months now so I will have a little fund for nice maternity wear
if I can find any
Princess the work thing involves some tricky decisions. I think it's really hard to plan ahead especially when there is self employment in the mix, as you don't know how you'll feel when the baby arrives. I know a dedicated career woman who was planning to be back at work within 4 months but instead turned into a proper earth mother type and has now quit completely, is home educating and into full on woo. I'm not sure her hubby is thrilled but I don't think he got any choice! I am tentatively planning on 9 months off with the final month spent looking for contracts for the new financial year. If we can manage it and his employer permits, Mr A could have the last 3 months of my maternity allowance as paternity leave. Though the more I think about it the more I feel I'd like to tighten our belts and have the full year off <selfish> but that would impact on our finances and therefore quality of life. Long term, I don't know. We could both go part time but unfortunately (for me) I am the main earner so it makes sense for me to be the one spending most time at work. But I will have to change my work patterns. At the moment it's 6 day weeks and 12 hour days. The chances of me wanting to or being remotely able to do that with a baby here are zero. But only 3 months until your maternity leave! Wow, that's really close. It still feels like another world to me but I daresay time will pass quicker than I think.
Hello Stacks <waves>, hope all's still good with you and Thomas
I'm still spotting but it's brown now rather than bright red so am less anxious especially after the scan. And got the combined test results today - according to that our chance of Down's is a very surprising 1 in 22,000. I had expected it to be a lot higher given my age so it's a relief even though I know there is a relatively high false negative rate with the combined test. Mind you we wouldn't have wanted the amnio or considered termination even if we had been high risk so in practical terms it makes no difference. It does mean that now there are no barriers to telling people which makes me feel a bit weird. We can't get to see Mr A's parents for another week and he wants to tell them before we tell anyone else which is fair enough. But then the cat really will be out of the bag and I will have to publicly admit it's real. Eek.
Hope everyone is good. Waves to Teu, Ladygee, Beryl and anyone I've missed.
Great news art about scan and Downs results
just checking it briefly -all a bit mad here!
Hi Art great news about the scan and downs results - what fantastic high numbers! Good to know us 'old girls' can still pull out a good sperm/egg combo :-) And yeah, scary biscuits when you have to start telling people (I've never felt comfortable telling people face to face, family isn't so bad, but work always feels a bit awkward - this time round I told my line manager and gave her permission to tell everyone else (I was off with the morning sickness) so they announced as the 'lighter note' at the end of a staff meeting :-)
Loved the quip about holding onto Mr A's jewels during labour - that'll keep him on his toes!
I have to say Art 6 day weeks and 12 hour days sound exhausting, I feel shattered all the time just now (primarily due to very poor nighttime sleeping) and I'm only doing 5 hour days, 5 days a week. I sympathise with you princess I think I've got the same issue - and the tiredness does totally affect how you look at things.
Re the whole what to do on return, it really is hard to plan before you have the baby, which is why I think you don't have to finally decide on a return date until you're on maternity leave (but again, different for self-employed). I was the bigger earner in our household, so financially would have made more sense for me to go back full-time etc, but I just didn't want to miss out on the young years and so we ended up my DH staying full time and I went back part-time after a years off mattie leave (so he now actually earns more than me - grrrr
We're not poor, but we certainly don't have as much spare cash as we used to, but I just figured on things being tight for 5 years (until they start school) at which point you can then extend hours or whatever and you'll be paying less on childcare costs which will be a massive saving. The time goes so fast once their born, I find it hard to believe my little boy is 3, and by the time I return form mattie leave with this bean, it will only be 6 weeks until he starts school (how the hell did that happen!)
Heart very jealous of your whole new wardrobe - I eventually got round to buying 3 jumpers and 2 pairs of maternity jeans over xmas and have been living in them since (having to do a lot of washings!!!) The idea of a nice spangly wardrobe to choose from sounds great!
Good to see you're still lurking stacks don't worry I don't think anyone expects you to have the time/energy to read all the posts!
Waves to ladygee, teu, beryl, mellow and anyone I've forgot to name check!!!
My, Ive missed lots in my work-induced absence and only have time for a quick read.
Joys news is just amazing. Like eleth I was following the thread and thought it was all over with the bleeding, which was heartbreaking, but then what a turnaround. Just lovely.
princess lovely that the baby is getting much more active. Im a big fan of finding new ways to make the baby move. Although I think baby likes to play the make Mummy move game now as I get kicked in the ribs until I get up and change position at my desk!
Art so, so pleased for you with the good scan and downs results. Sorry about your scare with the bleeding though. These things are sent to test us arent they? As are DHs sometimes mine sounds very similar to yours in lots of ways and part of me expected that to change during pregnancy but it hasnt!
I had a fretful end to last week which ended up at the antenatal day unit because I hadnt felt much movement for a couple of days, and baby is normally wriggling about like crazy most of the day and night. Everything was fine. Baby must just have been comfy in a position I couldnt feel much movement but was bouncing about all over the place! The midwives were so good though, they monitored me and baby for over an hour until they were satisfied everything was ok. I felt like such a fool for wasting their time but they were really nice and Im glad I went because it put my mind at ease.
How has it got to February already? January is usually the longest month but Im just not sure where the past few weeks have gone. Ive been busier than ever at work hence the lack of Mumsnet activity. Have just submitted my third big client report this week so am feeling quite proud a world away from how I felt at the beginning of the week! Just two more weeks to go now til maternity leave, though they are making me earn my money until the bitter end have a v. important client presentation on my very last day and its in London. Sigh.
Waves to all you other lovely ladies heart stacks mellow teu beryl and anyone Ive missed. Hope you've all got lovely weekends in store.
We're back in
freezing London and feeling quite shellshocked. We've spent a couple of days househunting which is awful (and amazing in that really nosy way!), things are so much more expensive than when we left. And looking at childcare is terrifying - so expensive and complicated. We found a great flat, but the nearest nursery is quite far away and a nanny is not really an option. It all seems very complicated. It is keeping me awake at night. I feel really unsettled. We're staying with friends til we're sorted, which is fine, but less than ideal. It has really brought home how much our lives are going to change - which shouldn't be a surprise, we've been hoping for this for so long, but the harsh reality of the expense is something else entirely!
Anyway, have spent the last 2 hours on rightmove and zoopla and need to emerge from under the duvet and face the day!
Hope you're all having lovely weekends!
Artemis Hope all is still well.
heart at the Jojo parcel. GBP42 to have it delivered internationally!! The GBP16 that most companies charge is easier to absorb since the items still work out cheaper than buying equivalent here.
12wk scan today. 12+6 apparently. It just got real, there is a person in there and it has 2 femurs (amused me that she recorded that), and it was wriggling its fingers and stretching its arms. And being stubborn about turning around
can't imagine who it got that from. I cannot believe we have created a little life. Parents well pleased with the picture. MSS1 combined test should come back shortly, but apparently the nuchal measurement was in normal range.
So there we go, officially due 13 August.
Waves to you all.
Teu that's great news. My EDD is 9 Aug so we are only a few days apart. I still find it hard to believe even though we've had a couple of scans now. I think it's to do with being in the weird zone where I don't have any symptoms (apart from the annoying weight gain), can't feel anything, don't have a bump yet and could easily imagine I've made it all up.
MrsM gosh the house-hunting thing sounds stressful, hope you get somewhere soon. It's such a big upheaval moving house, never mind moving country, I'm in awe of you attempting it with pregnancy on top! Hope you are starting to feel a bit more oK with things after a few days to adjust.
Princess hope all is good. How are things going with the renovation? Are you preparing your escape from the PILs?
Ladygee sounds like you did the right thing getting the lack of wriggling checked out. I have seen a lot of awareness-raising on here about monitoring babies' movements so the medics clearly want you to go and see them if you are concerned. I am sure the midwives would rather a false alarm than have something go wrong with the baby. Glad everything is OK. That's v unfair about a London trip and presentation on the last day before maternity leave!
Eleth I think you're right about time off, the baby will be more important than work, and I can imagine not wanting to go back at all. I do think I will be under pressure though. The one colleague who knows keeps telling me how she only had 3 months off with her first and 3 weeks with her second, I could work while the baby is sleeping etc etc - I know she is trying to be helpful but I don't want to do that! It will be the first time since I left uni 18 years ago that I can have time without work stresses weighing me down and I am looking forward to a bit of time out and a new focus. At least self employment means that I can see how I feel and go back when I'm ready, funds permitting of course.
I'm still spotting , it's been going on over a week now and while it's much lighter than it was at the beginning (to the extent I keep thinking it's stopped, but no) I am finding it unsettling. Tomorrow will be a week since the scan, if it's still going in the morning I think I'll ring the mw again and ask for advice. I doubt they'll be willing to scan me again yet but I wish they would try to find what's causing it. 7 weeks until the next scan feels like an awfully long time.
Waves to all, hope everyone has a good week.
Art It is very weird having few to nane symptoms. I quite agree with the imagining it's all made up. I hope the spotting is still subsiding. How very unsettling.
Ladygee How frightening, but glad it all got sorted out.
Eleth Admittedly I haven't given the going back after much thought, MrTeu has though. Out here the expectation is that you will be back at 6mths even if you are entitled to a year, and so many people do. I've even met those who have retuned after the stat 14 wks! Almost always for financial reasons. Feels rather sad as they are only small for so short a time. I guess I could be lining up for some sticky conversations with MrTeu at some point.
MrsM Hope the house hunting is going ok.
Waves to everyone I've missed.
Frantic waves to all. We've been super busy on all fronts and are both feeling quite knackered. We picked up our ebay bargain cooker on Sat, checked out Ikea kitchens and then spent Sun DIYing at the house. We're all about the 7 days a week working, eating and then dropping into bed. It's certainly helping with my insomnia to be so hectic! We're now having to budget extra hard and work more hours on the house because we had a large bill in from our electrician, which was more than we were expecting (a LOT more) and I've been manically researching lots of alternative cheap options for finishing the rest of the house
rather than whiling away the hours on MN. We also had a small incident on Sat when Mr P reversed into a car in the van we hired and caused a scene in the Ikea car park... it was clearly his fault for reversing into the car but she was in his blind spot and had stopped right behind him within a few inches He apologised profusely and proffered all of his details without hesitation (plus the damage to the other car was a small dent and scratch - hardly the end of the world but scary for the poor lady anyway) but she went ape shit none the less. Plus we got wedged and beeped by loads and loads of other impatient people trying to flea the compound car park. Then there was the excess to pay on the insurance. Sigh.
Art I'm so sorry the spotting continues, that must be so unsettling. I hope it goes soon. It is possible that it's just a little tear healing up or damage to the cervix repairing itself? Big hugs. On the other hand, brilliant news on your results!
MrsM Welcome back to Blighty! Hope that the house hunt is going well. Something perfect will come up. It will, it will! But yes the cost of living and factoring in babies is daunting - I'll agree with you on that one! I thought I had it all under control but then life happens and buggars up all of the "perfect" plans. I think reality is starting to hit Mr P and he's starting to realise potentially how tough the first few months will be if we don't start putting some breaks on now. Easier said than done toward the end of the renovation!
Ladygee lovely to "see" you I can't believe what meanies your company are being by sending you down to London to do a presentation during the last week before maternity leave! And you are so close now too. You must be really excited. Have you bought any stuff yet? Have you picked names? I'm counting down to mat leave now. I can't believe how quickly it's going to come 'round. I was really when I thought about it all last night. We finally found some sofas in the sale at Multiyork last night and they take 8 - 10 weeks to come - I'll be 30 weeks by the time they arrive. It really starts putting things in perspective and is slightly terrifying too. Glad that the MWs were reassuring with your scare and that mini gee is ok.
Teu wonderful news about your scan. at the two femurs. I'm delighted for you that all is looking well. The mat leave thing is stressful. Given the money pit that our house has turned into and the prospect of having less savings in place to finish up, I may be looking at returning to work sooner. But only part time. It doesn't phase me too much as my mum had to return to work after 10 weeks with me. She was only a couple of days a week (one week day and Saturday) and I got to spend a lot of time with Dad. She said it was actually nice to feel like she had a bit of her own life as well as having a baby. I think I'll feel like that too. Still, I kind of think lets see how things go.
Waves to everyone else I've missed. Back to reviewing CVs. It's really depressing reading - we've had 4 responses to the job ad, it's a really good manager position with a good salary and 3/4 CVs are from people with no experience whatsoever. So I'm now trawling through the job site trying to find some suitable candidates. Still on the flip side it makes me think that perhaps looking for other jobs won't be so hard next year if I fancy a change!
So, yet again our moving in date has been pushed back. It seems never ending at the moment. We've just got to work harder and smarter and cut costs. We're so close yet so far. The first row of tiles were stuck down on Sunday and the kitchen / bathroom floor is all laid out. It's looking great. But it's a hard slog for Mr P and is going to take time. We can't move until that bloody floor is in and shower fitted. We're not sure when we're going to move in - it would seem to be a few weeks away rather than months though. I'm in a much better frame of mind at the moment and things have eased with the in laws. I guess it is what it is and when I think back to how miserable I was this time last year when fertility shit really kicked in (cp, periods every 2 weeks through Feb / March, formal investigations starting, finalising the sale of the house, endless arguments with the estate agent) I feel very lucky to be weeks away from having a beautiful finished house and to be pregnant with a very busy, healthy baby. It's one step closer to achieving the two things me and Mr P really wanted to do with our lives - start a family in a home of our own. So, I have to remind myself this in the perpetual slog that is the
money pit house. It will be so worth it...
Wow...so quiet this week Hope everyone is ok?? I'm exhausted, having done nothing really out of the blue, well except grow a human child that is. I'm totally zapped - even after 10 hours sleep last night. Though I did wake a few times and had a nightmare that the baby was born with gravel in its lungs and died shortly after birth It shook me to the core and was a really nasty dream but totally surreal and let's face it, baby isn't going to be born with gravel in it's lungs!!
The really brill news is that the bulk of the kitchen floor is in! We
ok, ok, the royal We are making great, great progress. It looks like the floor will be mostly done by the end of the weekend, I wasn't expecting it to be done so quickly. Plus I've found all sorts of bargain furniture items that are really nice and will not leave us as skint as I was fearing at the beginning of the week. It's amazing what you can find when you have a tiny budget to work to. So I guess it's been productive in that sense and maybe I've knackered myself out with manic researching. Who knows.
Anyway, Friday luffs and waves, glad it's the weekend tomorrow
Still quiet on here... hope that means everyone is ticking along nicely with drama free pregnancies.
Having a manic time at work trying to get everything finished for Friday... I have 2.5 days to work until maternity leave starts. Eek, eek and triple eek!!
princess - sounds like the house is coming along nicely. Just think how wonderful it will be to be in your own place!
art - hope the spotting has disappeared now?
Waves to everyone else. Back to endless report writing I go...
It's echoey over the grad thread at the moment isn't it! Clearly everyone else has lives and it's just me at home being a bit bored and not having any colleagues to natter to who is constantly on here! I must admit I have been on MN quite a lot recently trying to get advice on Ikea kitchens and what baby stuff to buy at the moment. I really must try and do some work this afternoon! But the kitchen is causing me such a headache and I'm so impatient.
Glad to hear all is well Ladygee only two days to go until mat leave, you're so close now! Amazing! It seems like you announced your BFP just a couple of weeks ago over on the 10 + thread when I was in the pits of despair thinking I'd never have a baby. It seems to me that we have all these years trying and then it does happen and bang it's all over so quickly and baby is here. I can't believe I'm over half way there myself now. With just 12 weeks of work left. I'm panicking about all-sorts, namely finding a replacement me. We will hopefully be interviewing someone in a couple of weeks and I think Dad / our MD is keen to get him in ASAP but assuming he has to give 4 weeks notice, have a few days to think about the post that will give us 7 weeks cross over before I leave and I just know that I'm going to be responsible for getting him up and running with the added complication that he'll be in the office 70 miles away and I'll be coaching him from home. If he doesn't take the post (and he'd be a fool not to as he'd be on a much better pay packet) then I'm back to square one and will be at the mercy of local job agencies.
I went to visit my bestfriend and her new baby last night (he's 2 weeks old) with DH. He's gorgeous and tiny; but it did make me think "oh my god, our mini version is on his /her way and the house isn't ready and we've only got 16 weekends of freedom and then work and then moving and then buying baby stuff and then sorting out the car - gargh". Clearly I have no regrets but I'm starting to feel nervous about whether I'll be a good mum or not too. I'm terrified I'll "break" our baby.
Still, I can't let these troubles get the better of me. I'm taking one thing at a time. Starting with a proper list of stuff and costs for baby and taking on responsibility for the kitchen (to try and help DH) and making sure that I can hand over a sort of guide to my job for the newbie.
Waves to everyone else. Hope that you are all well and glowing
Yes it has gone very quiet! Sometimes no news is good news though I think?!
Ladygee eek indeed! How wonderful though. Have you got all your bits and pieces sorted for the forthcoming arrival or will it be a nice spell of online shopping from the comfort of your sofa once you are on leave?
Teu congrats congrats on your happy scan news. That's so great and brill that you got a lovely picture too. Ours always seems to like lying face down, think he's a bit camera shy.
Art hope you are doing ok and that the spotting has settled down.
MrsM hope the big move feels more manageable now and that you have got a few things sorted out. It will get sorted in time, things always do, one way or the other.
Princess sorry about your Ikea experience, that sounds horrible. People are vile sometimes! Best thing is to just forget about it now and concentrate on happier things. You are so close now to being in your lovely new home. And thanks for starting that other 'baby stuff' thread in pregnancy, I was lurking on that and I am going to TK Maxx ASAP to see if they have any Aden and Anais swaddle muslins! They are beautiful but I thought maybe a bit indulgent/expensive - but surely won't cost much if they are in TK Maxx!
I have just been starting to make lists of what we need to buy and am trying to figure out baby clothes at the moment. Any of our resident mums care to share how many sleepsuits/vests I should get in newborn and how many in 0-3? A minefield!
Other than that things seem to be going ok here. Baby is active and wriggling a lot, which I love as it really reassures me. We had a good 20 week scan (can't remember if I posted afterwards) and we didn't find out the sex. Mostly feeling good, although have had a couple of dizzy / fainting spells - think my blood pressure drops sometimes. It's just a reminder to take it easy I think.
right best get back to work. Love to all xx
heart I figure if it comes out at 8lbs it won't have much time in 0-3, may as well go straight to 3-6 and turn the ends up. Newborn size will be a fleeting glimpse.
Art Have things settled down?
Feeling very keenly how the tables have turned from last year. A friend suggested a group girls weekend away, but has now decided that she doesn't think she can do it if there are preggos around. I have become that paria/elephant in the room that I so upset me last year. She is desperate for #2 but after 2 traumatic miscarriages last year, now knows that she carries a gene translocation that will cause awful birth defects (hence the miscarrages). They can't tell her how many miscarrages she would need to go through to get a healthy baby, although they have a 3yo so they know it is possible. She is so incredibly lucky with what she has but we all know that gap that we just long to fill. Sorry me me. Sucks to see a friend so upset.
Waves to all, sorry for not name checking.
princess - I couldn't agree more. Time seems to have flown since Christmas and there's now just over five weeks 'til mini gee should be making an arrival. I'm now having to remind myself that it's taken nearly 3 years to get here, which is a place I never thought I would be in.
On the work front, I think my company is now regretting the decision to try and cover my duties between some of the other staff and drafting in freelance help as necessary. At least they now realise how much I actually do though! I hope you're able to appoint soon to put your mind at ease.
And you'll be an amazing Mum, princess. I think after what we've all been through we'll appreciate everything that bit more and will be just fine.
heart - I've started to get bits but still have a fair bit of shopping to do, the nursery to organise (no furniture yet) and - as everyone keeps reminding me - a hospital bag to pack!
So pleased your 20 week scan went well and that your baby is wriggly. It's such a lovely feeling.
I've only bought 0-3 things, no newborn stuff as DH and I are both tall so I don't think mini gee will be that tiny. I keep toying with buying a newborn outfit but my
thrifty Yorkshire-born Mum says if we need smaller things, she'll go and get them.
Teu - sorry to hear about your friend, what a dreadful situation to be faced with. Hope everything else is ok with you?
My midwife appt this week showed that baby is now 3/5 engaged, which sounds quite serious! I've no idea if they can pop back out again once they're down there or if this means they've started the big journey out??
Waves to all
Morning all, happy valentines day ladies and bumps
Ah thanks ladygee that's lovely of you to say. I'm just scared of a) dropping baby b) not feeding baby c) baby not liking me - all ridiculous and I'm sure mother nature will do magical things when s/he pops out.
My friend was engaged (with numbers - I didn't really understand) for a few weeks before her baby made an appearance - I seem to remember 3 or 4? She had several weeks of complaining that he was really heavy on her pelvis but otherwise she was super healthy and active and once on mat leave sprung into action on getting ready. It worked out fine for her. And baby is gorgeous too
Teu I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It must be awful for her. What dreadful news to hear. But it's nice that she'll have an understanding ear and someone who has been through the pain of long term TTC to confide in. I really appreciated the couple of friends I had in RL who had been through the mill, even though I didn't get to see them very often there was a special understanding and bond there.
Heart great news about your scan. Woo-hoo! You've reached the half way mark! That list the other day was fab. I need to go to TK Maxx too. The muslins sound like an excellent bargain. I wonder if they do any other bits and pieces? I didn't get a chance to pop in the other night but I may do if we get time at the weekend. I really love the bed sheets Aden and Anais do too, especially the set with little blue stars. I started looking at blinds for our kitchen and bathroom yesterday and stumbled across a very cute nursery blind yesterday here whilst I was checking out some vintage patterns for the kitchen.
Right, I've managed to waste far too much time on MN again and have to leave in 2 hours to go and meet with our kitchen designer. So best do some work.
Waves and hugs all round xxxx
Sorry for being a bit awol the last week or so, I'd love to regale you with wonderful tales of exciting stuff, but I've not actually been up to much at all (maybe life got to dull to post about?)
Anyway, apologies for contributing to the 'tumble weed' sweeping through the grad thread, glad we've all emerged back into the online world relatively unscathed (bar the natural nerves/excitement of approaching motherhood - gosh, sounds so serious when you put it like that!)
princess don't envy you your ikea kitchen nightmare, we designed our kitchen via ikea, ours was a reasonably easy shape and we knew what we wanted, but doing up a house can be so stressful (I've always partially blamed our house building nightmares with taking us 3 years to conceive first time round). Good luck with your kitchen designer, hope it all goes well.
ladygee 3/5 engaged - well there's no turning back now (not unless you've got a little houdini baby in there, reckon they're getting in position for the big event :-) And only a couple of days of work left - fantastic news!
Re newborn/0-3 months stuff, I can't actually remember what we got (need to dig it all out, but can't face it just now, am planning to put that off until week 36 - although DH is usually more organised than me, so he might do it sooner!)
Me and DH are pretty tall (I'm 5ft 10 and DH is 6ft 4") and our boy was born a couple of day shy of 40 weeks and he was bang on average length (50cm i think) and weight. So, I'm thinking we might have used newborn for a few days and then went to 0-3 months. I wouldn't buy too much newborn in advance as you won't know how big they'll be.
(Our son went from 50th percentile for birth weight to 92nd percentile by week 2!) 0-3 month stuff can look really big on newborns (i remember all the cuffs were rolled up for weeks), but I think by the time DS was 2 months old, he was too big for most of his 0-3 month stuff (although Next stuff is sized big, so he didnt' wear them until he was about 2 months).
You'll use a lot of 0-3 month stuff though, so definitely worth getting a good number of them in (esp sleepsuits and bodysuits).
heart so glad you had a good scan, I loved getting to the 20 week scan - things started to feel so real then.
I've got a routine mw appointment tommorow at 25 wks. (I'm on fortnightly apps just now so they can keep an eye on me in case high bp or pre-eclampsia appears) so looking forward to hearing the heartbeat again (I love that!)
I've got a scan at 28 weeks to check my uterine blood flow so will see if my 'notching' has disappeared or not.
Was slightly miffed yesterday. I have an underactive thyroid so had blood tests taken at hospital on 9th Jan to check my thyroxine levels. My previous test results hinted at me maybe needing to increase my medication, so they wanted to double check. Anyway, after saying I'd get teh results in the next few days, nothing arrived. After 2 weeks, I called them, they took my details and said they'd check later and get back to me. I heard nothing. Anyway, yesterday they called saying they'd had my results back and told me to increase my thyroxine medication - almost 5 weeks since the blood was taken!
I feel fine, so pretty sure no harm has been done, but clearly I should have been on an increased dose for the last 4 weeks - which isn't that reassuring - will be commenting on this (in the nice possible way) when I have my 28 week appointment (if only to get an apology and watch them squirm a wee bit :-)
Hope you're all doing well!
Waves to anyone I've not namechecked!!
hi all, sorry for radio silence and now to post and run, but it has been hugely hectic, but we've found somewhere to live and moved in (partly, waiting for furniture/belongings to be shipped from overseas, so very much camping at the moment!). No internet etc yet and working from home is a bit dull without it (and remarkably unproductive despite the lack of internet, clearly I've been blaming MN unfairly all this time )
Lovely to hear how everyone is doing - once we're sorted with internet etc I'll pick up the thread properly. I've had my 'late' booking appointment with the NHS and registered with a GP so feeling very efficient - 20 week scan in 2 weeks!
will be back properly soon - waves to all
Quick post from me to say hello. I've been busy with Thomas and life in general and not managed to keep up with the thread. T is now 7 weeks and we're getting smiles and the occasional little chuckle. He's more time consuming than I expected though.
I've not had a chance to read back, but noticed something about clothes needed. T grew out of his newborn stuff by about 4 weeks, and is pretty close to growing out of the 0-3m in the legs. Some newborn stuff still fits his chest and arms though. So it depends what you're buying and what shape your baby is. We have long legs and big feet (just like his daddy). If your baby isn't sicky then you don't need many clothes, we get by on just one outfit a day for the most part. I'm washing every other day, so technically we could manage with just 3 sleep suits and vests!
For those of you that are going to follow the "cotton wool and water only til 6 weeks" I recommend reusable cheeky wipes one of their packs is fine for all nappy changes for 2 days, and you'll never have to buy wet wipes. They're also great for hands and faces.
Hello all, hope you all had good weekends. Thanks for all the clothes advice. My growth scan is predicting an 8lb baby but I gather they aren't that accurate, and it also kind of depends on how tall they are rather than weight. Think I will buy things a bit later on after my seven month scan and see how I am measuring.
Good to hear from you stacks, I am sure the little man is keeping you busy. I love the name Thomas, it's on my list of potential middle names.
I feel rubbish today, a plethora of aches and pains. Everyone at work is getting on my nerves. Thankfully not every day is like this! It's funny how some days can be really hard work and others I feel all bloom-ey.
I'm thinking of buying the natal hypnotherapy cd/book. princess are you doing the hypnobirthing course, or natal hypnotherapy? I gather one is from USA and one is more UK (sorry if I have that wrong). It's not the sort of thing I would normally go in for and I am a bit sceptical but the reviews seem overwhelmingly good, so figure it can't hurt to do some of the relaxation exercises, even to help with early labour. Also having time to sit and relax and concentrate and breathe will soon be a thing of the past, so may as well make the most of it?!
Have to go back to work now but waves to all and hope you all have good weeks.
Hi heart i bought the natal hypnotherapy book and cd. Not listened to the Cd yet (need to get into mp3 format so I can play it on my ipod and not got round to it yet - will need to make myself do it as I'm rubbish at getting organised and can imagine the cd sitting in its unopened wrapper until after the birth!)
I'm not really a 'get with the woo' person, but trying to get myself into some positive thinking for this birth so figured it would help, i found the book okay, even though I'm not a 'visualisation' kind of person, and I've not practiced yet either, but I do plan on giving it a go, apparently the courses are really good (hypnobirthing and hypnotherapy). From what I've read there's not that much between both systems, just a change of name so that folk can make money :-)
I was off today as I was on the rota to help out at my son's playgroup - I tell you, it was way more tiring than my normal desk-based job! I'm tired at the best of times these days, and being on my feet for 3 hours was hard (was bloody hungry afterwards too) but glad I went, nice to see how the sessions are structured and laid out. My son is a bit shy so he's not good at joining in games played by other kids or introducing himself, but he knows some of the kids there, so I'm hoping that will come, but I was always a bit shy myself when I was younger, so maybe he'll always need a bit of coaxing.
I'm 26 weeks tommorow so just 2 weeks to go before my next scan - am mulling over taking my son along so he can see the baby on the screen, but not sure how good the view will be, and I don't want him getting confused, will need to give it some thought (looking forward to seeing baby myself though :-)
stacks I used cheeky wipes with my son as we went to cloth nappies when he was about 2 months old and hope to do the same this time - they are fab and are much much better at removing baby poo from bottoms than babywipes (which often seem to just smear it around rather than actually take it off). Glad you're getting smiles from Thomas now - it's magical isn't it? Although I always remember my son smiled at my DH weeks before he would smile at me - i took it quite personally :-)
Hope everyone else had good weekends and are doing well!
Hope the sun's shining where you are! It's out here and makes such a difference even though it's still freezing. I must apologise too for contributing to the tumbleweed drifting through the thread lately. No real reason, just been very busy with work and trying to limit my non-work internet time. Clearly failed at that this morning though
Ladygee you will be a lady of leisure by now! How is maternity leave? Hope the last week at work and the London presentation went well.
Heart I've been looking into hypnobirthing too, in a tentative don't-want-to-go-there-yet kinda way. I am not usually remotely woo (apart from acupuncture) but have heard a lot of good reports. A friend of Mr A was raving about it to him last week so it was him that suggested it. There is a lady who teaches it about 40 minutes away, she's also a qualified midwife so i'm going to contact her and find out about courses, though I've no idea when you're actually meant to start thinking about antenatal classes.
Princess great to hear about progress with the house though you must both be shattered. I had a similar experience to you in the IKEA car park in my hired van - no damage, but I got stuck and blocked up the entire one-way system in the car park and had about 6 orange-clad IKEA employees doing the 'left hand down a bit' thing trying to talk me out (in a very knowledgeable way for people whose bumfluff-covered acne suggested they might not actually be old enough to drive yet) while all the queueing men in their BMWs and mercs stared and beeped and swore about bloody women drivers. Very . How are you doing with finding cover for your mat leave? I'm amazed you had so few apps for the job. You'd have had hundreds up here.
Stacks Thomas sounds gorgeous, how cute that he's started chuckling
MrsM great news on finding a house and starting to get settled! And good that you haven't had any hassle getting into the NHS system. Hopefully all will be plain sailing from now on.
AFM I feel in a bit of a pregnancy no-man's land at the moment. 15 weeks, don't look pregnant (just look like I've piled on some
a lot of fat), can't feel anything moving yet, no proper bump, could easily imagine the baby has simply disappeared (or, paranoid imagination, stopped growing completely ). On the plus side I'm less weak and tired than I have been. 5 weeks until the next scan feels like a lifetime. Please tell me it gets better! Many of my clothes are now too tight but I'm not really ready for maternity clothes so am reliant on the same few things and don't really know what to buy. I wish I could hide out at home in my pyjamas for a couple of weeks.
On the subject of maternity clothes, Eleth I'm the same height as you, have you any recommendations for maternity wear for taller girls? I've looked online but a lot of places don't seem to do longer lengths and I don't want to spend the next 6 months with my trouser hems flapping round my ankles!
In other news, the roof is still leaking (sigh) and I am none the wiser after 3 quotes that all gave a different diagnosis and varied by over £3000 in the estimated cost of repairs . Now I have discovered the shower is also leaking somewhere under the flooring where I can't get to (ffs) so have to sort out builders and quotes stuff I REALLY don't want to be dealing with at the moment. And avoiding my mother... I will not go off on a rant about my mother at the moment, she means well, but... grr.
Best go do some work. Waves to everyone, hope you are all well
Stacks nice to "see" you! Glad everything is going so well with little T. Thanks for the tip about the H20 wipes, I got a pack in my mamapack and I already have them on my hospital bag list. Good to have some validation!
Heart I'm doing a hypnobirthing course. We got given the Marie Mongan hypnobirthing book at our taster sesh if we signed up to the course. I've read it and I like the sentiment. We're lucky with the lady, her ex bought hypnobirthing to the UK - so they've been really into it for the last 15 years and have loads of experience teaching it. To me, it's not really all that woo....apart from some of the actual practices (rainbow meditation anyone?!) but then that's why I've opted to do the course because as with everything there are many ways to skin a cat and we'll be given alternatives. I also know 2 friends who've done it and have both had easy, short, tear free births. I'm not full on woo either - I just like the idea of things in their natural state but completely embrace science and medicine when needed. I also really like that when we talked about birth plans with the hypnobirthing practitioner - she stopped me and said, "we call them birth preferences". That way there is no pressure if you feel your "plan" hasn't gone to "plan" IYSWIM? So, if you need a caesarian for example, there are lots of breathing techniques to stay calm and feel in control or if you need drugs during labour, you can be confident that you tried your best at the breathing but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. It's about being empowered and delivery your baby, not the delivery being taken on by the medical staff. Anyway, we'll see how much I'm won over in a few months' time when mini Princess is here! I start the course 2 weeks time - it's 4 x 3 hour sessions. I'm really looking forward to it. However, I really can't believe how quickly time is flying! March seemed like ages ago when I booked it! Eeek!
I too have the days when everyone gets right on my tits. I tend to find they are days when I need more sleep or if mini princess is having a growth spurt and is very quiet. I've been sleeping loads at the weekends and getting earlier nights and I'm definitely feeling better for it.
MrsM Great news that you have found somewhere and are now moving in! You must be sooooo relieved!
Ele how annoying about your hospital being so slack. I'd be really annoyed too. Glad it's all sorted out now. I don't know how you managed at your son's nursery - I find sitting at a desk all day and a trip to the supermarket knackering as it is!
Ladygee hope all is well with you. Have you finished work now or is this your last week?
So, the kitchen is proving to be a little bit of a nightmare. The designer was lovely and helpful and came up with an "easy" solution - so I was super relieved and thought - onward! Then I spoke to the installation guys yesterday and when they looked at the plans, they declared the "easy" solution unworkable and will point blank refuse to instal it. The designer also told a couple of porkies, which I pulled him up on (in the nicest of ways) so my confidence is starting to wain again sigh. Anyway, we have the fitter down tomorrow after work to talk it through and there would seem to be solutions, but we'll need to have a rethink on the sink. The good news is that they are speedy and that I've sourced some bits elsewhere, which they'll fit and will actually cost less money than Ikea were proposing.
In other news, the floor is in! The floor is in! This is very exciting news because it's the last big building job done. We're on the home straight now. I'm not putting pressure on Mr P for a moving in date because he is so tired and working so hard, it doesn't seem fair to pile any more stress on. I think I've been hard on him as it stands.
Waves to all, including any newly diffed lurkers - yes you euro and doll - come dip your toes if you like
On with the day! x
X post Artemis oh sorry about the house woes - I get those completely. The only woe we haven't had (grasps out hand to touch a piece of wood) is the roof, which is over 100 years old and seems to be in fine shape. But everything else has been problematic. My only advice would be to check out your trades on www.checkatrade.com - and look for people with lots of reviews. We've had good experiences with everyone selected in this way. Bad experiences have been the friends of friends and people found randomly on the web.
As for pregnancy limbo, this is exactly how I felt around 15 weeks, although I was still suffering from morning sickness - so I did have that "comfort". And then, I felt movement at 16 weeks - tiny pops and bubbles to start with (it will depend where your placenta is - mine is at the back) and now full on drop kicks at any given time or full on raving. It all started going much faster from 15 / 16 weeks i.e. from not feeling pregnant at all and feeling like I was faking it to feeling full on pregnant from about 17/18 weeks with the emerging bump and movement.
I'm a bit of a shorty (5'5") but my Asos maternity skinny jeans have serviced me very very well from 10 weeks and still have room in them now at 24 weeks. I have 3 pairs similar to these. They are a 30" leg, so probably too short for you but I've got a feeling that Topshop do some similar in longer lengths too. I like them because they are not obviously maternity jeans with the pocket stretch panel in them rather than the over bump fabric thing. Also, I have a couple of dresses and thick, thick tights from Mothercare, which I got during my flabby rather than bumpy phase. These look nice and feel comfy even when there's not much bump to speak of. The only thing I made a bit of mistake with was getting dresses in a size up, which were massive and still on the big side now, but they'll do me through spring and summer and they are floral dresses so not for the cold weather now anyway. FWIW, I'm getting massive - I suddenly ballooned over the weekend - Mr Princess said it was very noticeable! Bump is here - out and proud. The rest of me is not much different in size and I'm still getting away with baggy jumpers and tees from last year (in fact, I've only put on 10lbs, which I was quite surprised about given my new form). My coat also just about does up and I don't think I'll need to buy a new one - phew - as I could really do without anymore costs at the moment!
Right, really, back to work. Although I think I'll make a cup of tea first!
hello everyone :-)
art totally sympathise with the workmen/house crap woes - we extended our house before DS was born and after having to sack our builders for being crap, had that whole nightmare of trying to get replacement workmen in to do stuff. We would guess what we thought it would cost then decide what we'd be prepared to pay (neither of us are tradesman) and then see if the folk we asked came within our ballpark. Fortunately, we did okay with everyone apart from the original builders who were total cowboys. Our local council have a 'trusted traders' site, that rates local tradesman and has online ratings from real customers (you send your review to the council and they publish it online, so the tradesmen don't get to 'select' the ones that are published - we found that really useful.
As for maternity clothes. I got a couple of sale items from Gap maternity just over xmas so picked up a few bargains. I got a pair of skinny jeans (under the bump) and also a pair of bootleg jeans (under the bump) and the leg length is fine for me (I'm about a 33/34 inch leg). I also went to New Look at the weekend and picked up a double pack of black leggings (medium) for lounging about at weekends, and they were also fine in the leg (although I'll probably be wearing them with boots most of the time. I think New Look also do 34 inch leg trousers, they might not have much in store but you can order online.
I think I started wearing maternity bottoms at about 20 weeks, prior to that I persevered with normal trousers and tops (but to be fair as I was off with the mornings sickness, a lot of my 15 week phase was spent in jammies!)
I know what you mean about not feeling pregnant, like Princess I had the vomiting to let me know I was pregnant, but you don't really look preggers at 15/16 weeks, whereas now I have a proper stick out bump :-) And I don't think I felt my little bean kick until about 19 weeks, and DH has only felt the baby kick on the outside twice since 21 weeks. I do love having a bump now, seems to take ages to appear and then all of a sudden it's there (makes you feel much more pregnant!)
Sorry about your kitchen woes princess funny how sales teams and fitters rarely sing from the same song sheet, eh?
Hoping that Euro and Doll will join us soon, but I know it's a big step early doors when you scarcely believe your pregnant and are wary of jinxing it by saying it out loud!
Right, I'm feeling brave so I am going to dip a toe into the thread!
I'm finding all the clothes chat interesting. I'm an apple shape but fairly slim. The weight I do carry is all on my belly and I am already daftly bloated every afternoon (quite flat in the morning though), which just makes the flab I store there stick right out! My usual style is very fitted (stretchy polos with skirts for work) so I am not sure how long I will be able to hide it for. I'm planning on shopping this weekend for some non-maternity but slightly skimmier styles for spring to throw people off the scent. I am incredibly nervous so really don't want people guessing before 12 weeks.
<waves to all>
I'm just skim reading back to catch up a bit and spotted MrA's poo comment. I was talking to a (male) friend last night and he was saying that at his son's recent birth, his wife's first words were "did I poo?". The midwife was a bit and like, er, by the way, you have a baby here (she didn't by the way).
Happy expanding ladies!
Hello Euro - lovely, lovely to see you over here... long may it continue
I would get some trousers / skirts with stretch in; empire line type tops and dresses are your friends too. A lot of people I know also get the expanding waist band things to hook over jeans / trouser buttons. I didn't bother as I went straight from skinny jeans to maternity skinny jeans and had them baggy for a few short weeks. If it makes you feel any better at the Autumn meet up I had a big jumper over my skinny jeans and by the end of the dinner I had to leave the button and zip on said jeans undone (I was 7/8 weeks!)
I'm way past the hiding phase now, so this is irrelevant but I understand how horrible the first few weeks are from a not wanting to tell anyone and being terrified at the same time perspective. I'm confident that this is your time tho and it will be plain sailing and exponential expanding all the way
As for me, one word: HUNGRY! I'm like the freaking hungry caterpillar at the moment. I work up ravenous in the night and had to sate my hunger with a belgian chocolate chip cookie. I've also polished a few of those off this afternoon too. That's on top of first and second breakfast (cereal and toast respectively; lunch half a tin of beans, hummus and 3 slices of very small gluten free bread; and then the cookies). My god I've never known hunger like this before! Baby is doing somersaults in there today so is clearly up to something.
So the kitchen stuff is getting better but we think we might we going traditional free standing over Ikea. The installation for the Ikea kitchen is soooooo expensive (no official quote but c. £2k for 3 days work....I mean, £667 a day for a kitchen fitter?), we might as well have a nicer kitchen. Plus we've found a company in Nottingham (random as we are daan saarf) who are happy to work to our puny budget and have a kitchen designer in the area in the next fortnight. Mr P is sold on solid wood furniture. He is nervous about Ikea
bodge-a-job workman nailing things to his precious walls. I don't blame him. It will be a little more, but less installation and more in line with what we wanted originally. Here's hoping. In other news, the extractor woes look like they are finally being resolved. It is non stop fun fun fun here! Still I have the day to myself tomorrow including shopping in the morning, lunch and then hairdressers. I quite like a bit of time on my own so this is a heavenly day for me
Hope everyone is well. Hugs, waves and buttery white chocolate chip cookies for you all xx
euro YAY!!!! I have been without wifi so haven't been keeping up, but am very excited to see you here!
I was more bloated from 8-12 weeks, than 12-18 and only in the last week have a wee bump that doesn't go away in the mornings- it was very frustrating feeling so bloated when you didn't want to talk about it.... I too wear slim fitting clothes normally and really struggled but just bought a couple of loose tops.
Internet will be shortlived (have bought an hour) so just wanted to say hi to all. 20 week scan on Tuesday and feeling kicks here. Life very busy - but hopefully getting wifi at home next week and will catch up properly.
Welcome euro - so glad to have another grad on the board :-)
I'm also an apple shape (although perhaps I wouldnt' describe myself as 'slim' lol :-)
However, I actually find it's a great shape for getting maternity clothes as often in life, my biggest bugbear is getting something to fit my waist that isn't hanging of my hips (I have quite slim hips and legs), but with maternity wear it's perfect, you can get the size you need for your hips with a nice cosy elastic bit for your waist :-D
Only downside for me is that my boobs get even bigger in pregnancy (they're fairly ample normally) and that can cause issues getting tops to fit my boobs without being ridiculously baggy elsewhere - hopefully your boobs will grow to a more reasonable size and you won't have those problems.
I remember about the fear of people working it out before 12 weeks - my biggest concern wasn't so much clothes at work (with it being winter I could wear a zippy top over my work clothes so it hid my thickening waist) but when I was about 5/6 weeks pregnant I totally went off dairy and so had to stop having my 9:30 cup of tea in the morning at work - I felt it was such a giveaway and was coming up with ridiculous excuses. As it turned out, no-one had a clue - but you feel so obvious about everything!
I also found the first 12 weeks to be the slowest (in fact glacial) time period known to man, every day seemed to last for eternity. Pleased that since then, things are moving a bit faster but I'd still like to fastforward to the end and just get the baby!
I have my 41st birthday next (still find it hard to believe I could have gotten this old - how did that happen?) which makes me feel a bit guilty about having a baby so late, not that it was through choice, I'd rather it happened earlier, but you do sometimes wonder if you're being selfish. Ah well, as long as I keep acting like a 20 year old, maybe I can just ignore the birth certificate and forget about it all????
wow - that was a bit, me me me, apologies everyone!
princess I can totally see why you're not paying the ridiculous money for the Ikea fitters. We were doing things on the cheap when we got our ikea kitchen, so we designed it, picked it up in the van and took it home, assembled all the units ourselves (well, my DH did most of it) then we hired a joiner for about £200 to fit them all in and attach our worktops - don't think their fitters could have done a better job to be honest. So, I think the option of having a bespoke kitchen at a fraction of the price is fantastic - sounds way better, and totally worth it.
mellow great to hear from you again - looking forward to you getting all wi-fi-ed up so we can hear more from you :-)
Well, hope you're all having nice weekends (waves to everyone), I'd best go and let me DH head off to Tesco (sunday morning shopping expedition!)
Eleth thanks for the suggestions on where to find clothes. I had a futile shopping trip yesterday - my nearest city (which is one of the biggest in the north of England) doesn't have any maternity shops in the city centre and all the high street shops that usually do maternity clothing didn't actually have ranges in store. I wonder what people do who don't have the facility to shop online. I've done some online ordering today so will just have to accept there'll be a few trips to the post office to return all the things that inevitably won't fit!
Euro great to see you dipping a toe in over here . I had bad bloating until 12 weeks but I think it was related to the fanny candles as it's been a lot better since I stopped using them. I'm definitely starting to get a bump but it's not big enough for me to actually look pregnant and it's covered with a layer of fat I swear i didn't have before... I'm so naive, I seriously imagined I'd just look normal for ages and then wake up one morning with a lovely little bump... didn't anticipate the fat stage! It's taken me 16 weeks to need bigger bras though. I have always been a lowly B cup so it was a bit of shock to get measured and be told I needed to go up 2 sizes. The lady brought a few in for me to try and I just said 'there's no way those will fit me, they're MASSIVE'. But she was right
Princess good news on the kitchen. Having a proper bespoke one for near enough Ikea prices sounds like a great plan. And brilliant that you're making such progress. You'll be out of the in-laws before you know it. at the hunger. I have felt like that since the start, which also helps explain why I look so fat... extreme hunger subsided a bit after about week 12 but I think I've got in the habit of eating more. I'm hoping the midwife doesn't weigh me when i see her this week, though it might be a bit of a wake-up call if she does
MrsM hurrah for the 20 week scan and feeling kicks! I imagine that's the stage at which it starts to feel properly real. Eleth you are right about the first 12 weeks crawling by. I seriously don't think you're selfish for having a baby at 41 - but then I'm not far behind, 40 later this year - though I do think we get bombarded by that word by the media and it's easy to take it to heart. Women can't escape that tag. Single mothers on benefits are 'selfish'. Working mothers are 'selfish'. Those who stay at home and look after their kids instead of contributing to the nation's taxes are 'selfish'. The 'selfish older mother' myth is the biggest one of all. I also think that, pre-contraception, it would have been much more common for women to have babies in their late 30s/early 40s than it is today. Like you said, it's not like it was planned this way. There are advantages to being an older mum as well.
Must be time for a . Waves to all
Oh I may be only 15 wks but I definitely look pregnant. Can't hide it. Guess that's the shoddy-sedentary-desk-job stomach muscles, complete with winter insulation layer across the top. But I do still have waist definition, don't necessarily look much different from the rear. Jeans don't fit and leaving the top button undone isn't enough anymore. Pah.
Artemis & MrsM both sets of Grandparents were in their 40s when they had my parents. Took Gran 10 years.
Euro really pleased to see you over here.
Sorry still crap at name checking. Late summer sunshine waves to all.
How are we all feeling today? I have my 25 (yes 25 week ) appointment tomorrow. Can't believe how quickly we're advancing to the end. I'm starting to have birthing dreams / nightmares. Most recently that the baby shot out easily (good) but no-one was there to catch, so baby was dropped on its head (bad) and was completely limp, then I woke up!
Teu I was out of normal jeans by 10 weeks. I didn't look pregnant until about 17 / 18 weeks - just fat. Don't feel bad!
Art I'm really shocked at the ever expanding bra situation too. I bought bras in 38B in Jan as I was measuring 36C but the 36 was a bit on the tight side so she recommended the 38 (I'd gone up from a 34C). The 38 is now getting tight and I might need a 40! This is ridiculous! I've been a very comfortable 32/34 for years now! I think I'll need to go and get the bangers re-measured later this week as I'm ruddy uncomfortable.
Euro I've seen some of the midwife chat on the other thread and thought I'd let you know how it's working out for me. I have the same community mid-wife for all of my check-ups. I HATED her to start with as she said some ridiculous things about our situation at the booking in appointment (and she is morbidly morbidly obese with huge hands and made comments about my weight - 9 stone 11 at 10 weeks pregnant, BMI right in the middle - yet she commented about adding half an inch to my height and knocking half a kilo off my weight to bring my BMI down "every little helps, dear" - I was and at this patronising and frankly ridiculous comment! Don't even get me started about her comments on long term TTC, our experience of the consultant and my previous miscarriages - "oh, you'll be on the edge of your seat through this pregnancy and I won't give you one of these just in case, with your history" - ). However, the situation has improved, my notes are impeccable and she is very accurate - that's all I want from her. She's actually been lovely to us since and not at all patronising. I'm not going to have (well, don't think I'll have) a home birth and I've opted for the local hospital as our MWU is far away. I probably won't have her at the birth - it will be the midwifes on shift at the time we go in. I am however considering a doula - just as a back up and someone who has seen the process before so that they can get help if it's needed. It's just a money thing at the moment as to whether or not we do this. Although my lovely lovely yoga teacher has offered her doula service for expenses because she has just finished training. I may take her up, but Mr P is starting to think it's getting too many cooks. My friend who had a baby at the same hospital recently had a brilliant experience and had no complaints; equally I've got two friends who've had home births in the last month and both have been straight forward and lovely. I'm really starting to wonder if home-birth might be something I look into more seriously in the next few weeks. I'm still nervous about things going wrong and being 10 miles away from hospital.
Ele I don't think you should be feeling selfish for having a baby at 41. I don't think that's old at all! As others have said there are pros and cons to all ages you have kids. I've got loads of friends whose parents had them in their 40s and they were all bright, healthy and well balanced individuals. Their parents had good jobs and instilled lots of confidence in them. They were also much more relaxed about some of the bigger picture stuff. My parents had me very young and whilst there are clearly some benefits (lots of energy) and they were wonderful parents, they did get somethings wrong because they didn't have the depth and breadth of experience one has a more grown up grown up. They have been a lot more chilled with my brother (10 years younger than me). They were also looked down on by teachers etc for being "young parents" despite my Dad having a very successful career with lots of responsibility from a young age. I don't think you have to deal with people being so patronising when you are a bit older. I also think that having kids in your early 30s (which seems to be the norm these days) isn't the greatest time either - I'm really worried about my job prospects after the baby and having to take time out for future babies. I'm not really established enough to make this a great time to have a family but also, I'm not at the bottom that I would want to start again in something different after having children or be stimulated enough by a low paid job (that I may have been happier with if I'd sprogged early and started my career later IYSWIM). I personally think I'm going to struggle in my career over the next few years. I already feel I've lost a few years due the toll that TTC took on me and because I had a big about turn in my mid-20s when I went from a film/TV career to finance career. I could be much further up the ladder by now in either profession if I'd have had the mental strength to push on - sadly I don't deal with pressure very well and crumble quite easily. If I'd have stuck with things in the past or pushed myself harder or have been a stronger person I would be in a position to go back part time at a much more senior level or consult or be freelance on a decent salary but I've made my choices and life is what it is and I can't change who I am. I wasn't mentally strong enough to push myself after the miscarriages and I've taken the easy option of working for the family firm, which is well paid but a bit dead end. I'm not worrying too much at the moment though because I'm just grateful to have a baby on the way and a job that pays a decent(ish) middling income. Life could be so much worse! Anyway, I refuse to feel trapped. I can deal with job stuff later, I just know it's not going to be a bed of roses!
The kitchen has taken us in a very unexpected direction this weekend. We now have to replan the kitchen because of a big problem, which means moving the electrics and supplies around. Woe. Neither of us slept on Friday night and DH is feeling wretched about some of the decisions he's made. But the good news is the new bespoke company are much nicer, more knowledgeable and more accommodating. And it looks like it won't take too much time to sort out the problems. I'm hoping to get this ironed out this week so that we can enjoy our weekend away in Paris this coming weekend. Our last pre-baby foreign trip! Eek!
Christ, I've written a whole essay. I've missed my usual snack break and I must press on with work! I'm in the 10 week winding down until maternity leave kinda mood now, especially as the potential replacement me is being interviewed today. He could be in soon and then I can hand everything over. I have no idea what I'll do when / if that happens! Maybe I'll get the final exam I need to do out of the way; maybe I'll just be given odds and sods to work on. Who knows!?
Luffs and waves to all xxx
princess the renovations sound like hard work! I'm glad you are happy with the new designer.
Ele I don't think you are selfish for having a baby at 41 at all. I know peronally that if I had had a baby in my 20s it would have been wrong for me. I wasn't ready to give over a big chunk of my life to looking after someone else. I feel more than ready now.
art I wish I could go from slim to neat bump, but it's just not going to happen, I fear. I already feel a bit thicker around the waist, although it is mostly bloating. I have put on 1.5lbs in the past fortnight. I think it has mostly gone on my boobs though. Did you take the fanny candles all the way up to 12 weeks? I am so sick of them. I never imagned that when diffed I would end up using more sanpro than ever!
Teu it's good to find you over here!
mrsmellow how amazing to feel kicks!
Hello everyone! Im sorry not to have posted in a while. Things have been pretty hectic were getting married soon and there are so many things to organise, despite it being a very low key affair. I hope everyone is doing well, if not positively blooming. (I keep waiting for that bit
Hi euro! Its lovely to see you over here . I hope the next few weeks go as quickly and as smoothly as possible for you. You did make me with the poo story!
Princess, I cant believe some of the comments your MW made! But great that she is being much nicer now. I know what you mean about the home birth dilemma: it sounds so appealing and relaxing when you dont think about the fact that there are no medical people nearby, just in case So were thinking well just go to the local MWU, which is attached to the hospital. Actually, I need to sort that our as Im currently booked in with a hospital in London (we moved out but didnt get round to changing GPs for a while). But my 20 week scan is next week, and I didnt want to risk losing that by changing things right now. The whole doula thing sounds amazing
and expensive! Are you going to take up your yoga teachers offer? Good luck with the renovations youre on the home straight now!
Artemis I sympathise with the futile shopping trip. I did much the same thing a few weeks ago. I usually hate buying clothes online, but I guess Ill have to get over that now On the growing bump issue, I know exactly what you mean about the fat stage! It feels like Ive been hovering there for ages. However, this week the bump seems to have popped out a bit
possibly more to do with the amount of stodge Ive been putting away
Im so HUNGRY!! Of course, now Ive chosen a dress for the wedding, Im starting to panic about it popping out too quickly between now and the Big Day
I hope you have a lovely time on your birthday, Eleth. As the others have said, there are lots of benefits to having children in your 30s or 40s, so please dont feel down. Thanks also for the tips on maternity clothes. I really need to stock up with a few more bits and pieces.
Well, Im sure Ive missed out loads, for which apologies. Big waves to everyone else, stacks, lady, mrsm, heart!
Princess wow Paris! Enjoy - sure it will be fab (even if you can't eat all the lovely stinky cheese). Hope your kitchen issues are resolved, I'm sure the bespoke one will look terrific. I'm glad your midwife has learnt to behave. I loved the idea of home water birth initially but it being my first I'm
terrified nervous and would rather know medical assistance is nearby. Also our carpets are relatively new... Were your friends with home birth having first babies? at the expanding bras. I didn't know my back would expand too (it is increasingly becoming apparent how little i know). I'm in the same band size because apparently I was probably wearing the wrong size to start with but am a bit freaked out by how different my tops look! I got ready for a meeting the other day and Mr A blurted out 'bloody hell, look at your boobs' . He is not even a boob man particularly. Not used to being self conscious about my chest! I guess it balances out the rest of my rapidly expanding body... Clothing saga continues. I ordered some maternity trousers a size bigger than the size I usually wear and had to send them back for being too snug. Not happy at first, though judging by the feedback on Feefo that company's clothes come up on the small side. Need to vamp up my exercise I think and stop thinking it's OK to eat buns all the time
Euro yep I had the fanny candles to 12 weeks. 10 weeks of 2 per day and then the last fortnight down to 1 at night which made a huge difference to the amount of mess! I sympathise on the sanpro front. Our carpet never recovered
Hi Beryl, good to see you! I'd love to know when the bloom starts. I'm just fat and patchy. Got some really dry skin patches on my face and body and i get really itchy, especially at night, which combined with waking up for a wee every couple of hours does not make for restful sleep! I could write an essay on 'pregnancy side effects nobody warned me about'.
Does anyone here have experience of NCT antenatal classes? I've heard mixed reviews but am about to take the plunge having discovered that our NHS entitlement is to one 3-hour 'parentcraft' class one Saturday morning which is supposed to prepare us for childbirth, breastfeeding and the birth of a newborn . The midwife suggested even those might have been pulled by the time of my next appt in 9 weeks because they don't have capacity to deliver them any more. How reassuring. As total ingenues I think we need a bit more than that! The only other thing i can find is one-to-one hypnobirthing which I would love to do but is double the price, and i do think we might benefit from the contact with other people at NCT since I know absolutely nobody with babies or young children. Mr A proudly told me he'd been holding an 8 week old baby yesterday. A colleague popped in to show off her newborn and one of his friends collared him and said 'get in there and practice' . They thought he was 'a natural' apparently . More so than me. I've been avoiding babies for so long I can't remember the last time I held one. I was probably about 25 and I think it was immediately sick on me
I'd better get to work. Lots to do today! Hugs and waves to all, sunny here, hope it is where you are
Ooh Beryl I forgot to say congratulations on the impending wedding! I'm sure the dress will look just gorgeous
Just checking in to say hi as it's been quiet here. I hope it means that everyone is ok.
Ladygee how are you getting on? You must be very, very close now?
Beryl I'm sure you'll look lovely in your dress. I think there's something really special about pregnant brides. It adds another dimension to a lovely day. Maybe I'm prejudiced as my mum was pregnant with me when she got married and I love that I am the small bump behind the posy of flowers in their pictures.
We had a lovely time in Paris. It was very, very cold but we did and ate lots of lovely things. Back to reality now! The house is still proving to be a sod and I've had another wobble as we are away again this weekend for my sister's graduation / mother's day. That means as of Monday we have only have 13 weeks before baby is here (assuming he doesn't arrive early - eek!) and we have Mr P's birthday and allsorts of hospital appointments coming up later this month. It just seems too much and things seem to be running away like an out of control steam train. Mr P is going to take next week off work to try and make up for lost time as I was quite weepy this morning. I've also managed to hurt my back, my bump is huge and the nausea has started up again. Plus I find it really hard to come back to the in laws after being away and having time together. Probably the intermittent cold shower with loss of pressure that tipped me over the edge this morning...
Anyway, we've started hypnobirthing. So far, so good. I'm enjoying the relaxation CDs we were given and especially the birth affirmation track, which I can listen to whilst I work. Baby seems to like the birthing affirmations too. I think it may be the plinky plonky music as we seem to get lots of reactions to plinky plonky spa type music... For those wondering, I think that books / CDs would probably be fine if you can't get to a course or don't want to shell out (I think it's expensive - £225 for 4 x 3 hour sessions, book, CDs and course materials - but it's really important to me so that I can try and eliminate anxiety as I am prone to bouts of anxiety and at worst have panic attacks - which I don't want as I know that someone else will take control of my birth if I lose it). And you do kinda have to go with things like "rainbow relaxation" which won't be everyone's cup of tea! I know that my family would be like this if they saw me and Mr P doing deep relaxation exercises to the rainbow relaxation track - lying in beautiful mist of purple, the colour of the mind and now a mist of vibrant blue the colour of the throat.... I can go with it though as I understand the whole rationale behind it, which makes total sense to me.
Odd things I've noticed as well, not sure if anyone else has, my leg hair has pretty much stopped growing, I have no belly hair (I was expecting the big stripe), loads of CM type stuff and (sorry if TMI) my nipples have gone really, really dark. I guess this is all normal? Anyone else experiencing weird changes?
Bump is getting a lot of attention now it's huge. We spoke to a few Parisians who wanted to know if it was my first baby (I speak ok-ish, rusty school girl french and could answer). I also blagged a table in a busy restaurant by telling the waiter that I was pregnant and hungry (they had told us that they absolutely had no tables left - our hotel had booked the wrong restaurant)! I actually don't mind the belly rubs I've been getting (from friends, no strangers yet, that may be a different story!) - I know a lot of people hate it - but I'm quite a tactile / huggy person, so I think it's quite nice (and it means I'm not a total ogre that people don't want to approach!)
Oh and people are trying to guess the sex. Hairdresser has put a fiver on baby being a boy. He said he's a bit of a white witch about these things; I said that his odds were pretty good and he looked a bit taken aback! I've changed my mind and I'm starting to think that he might be a she, especially with the leg hair situation and the fact that I ov'd 2 days after we DTD but then, who knows, I can't wait to find out now - not long!
Right best get back to work. Hope you are all well. Lots of love xxxx
P.s. I name changed last week after a slightly horrible events on the 10+ board with an imposter - in case anyone was wondering.
hope everyone is doing ok. First chance to post for ages, been working so hard at work the last couple of weeks mainly due to other people majorly slacking off but I am letting it wash over me as the end is in sight! Glad that everyone seems to be doing ok (am taking no news as good news).
Art, I discovered it is online all the way with maternity gear. This is after a couple of futile shopping trips around local towns, realising that no-one stocks maternity gear unless it is the big city branch. Then heading in to the city branches to discover it is about 40 degrees in the shopping centres (it was January/February and I had layers on!) and getting dressed and undressed over and over is pretty much the last thing I wanted to do when pregnant. Oh, and the sizes are all over the place and the selection was still pretty rubbish (unless you want a 'hands off the bump' t-shirt, which I really didn't! Sorry if anyone has got one ) I ended up doing a couple of big orders from Jojo and Mamas and Papas. Most of the Mamas and Papas stuff went back in the end but I do like Jojo. I bought myself a little capsule wardrobe and I am getting my money's worth as I am wearing it to death. I am struggling with bras at the moment though. Have been remeasured in M & S but I am still feeling uncomfortable in my new bra. Wondering whether to go to the Jojo store and see if they know any better, or if pregnancy just means being a bit uncomfortable?!! My feet size seems to be going up and down so maybe my boobs are too!! I have also signed up for NCT but haven't started it yet. I think eleth said she had done it last time, maybe she will be along in a bit to advise.
Princess glad you had such a good time in France and got some positive pregnant lady perks. We have to make the most of it! I do find that people are nice to me now that I am obviously pg - strangers and colleagues etc. Sorry coming home was such a downer. Your DH does sound very supportive (or are his parents doing his head in as much as yours?!) Won't be long now. Thanks for the info about hypno, I am going to buy the book and CD and see how I get on. I'm also starting pregnancy yoga this week. I had just been doing my normal class with modifications, but bump is starting to get in the way now. My nipples are really dark now too and have weird pigment dark spots on them. I've had them since 9 weeks. Hope they don't stay after the birth! Hadn't thought about the leg hair but will now keep an eye on it! Does no leg hair mean it's a girl?
Waves to everyone else xx
Sorry for being so intermittent with posting just now, seem to be getting very tired a lot so tend to use my 'downtime' chilling out. I now have 7 weeks of work left before my maternity leave starts (yes, I am counting it down) and so so looking forward to it. They're giving me loads of work to do just now, on the basis that I can get things started and other folk can take them over once I leave, was okay with it at first, but not finding there's just not enough time to get everything moving, so might have to say something if it doesn't improve in the next few weeks
Heart - yes I did do NCT courses the last time. I found them really good for a few reasons, one: at the time I didn't know anyone else that was pregnant, and we don't really have any friends in the small town we live (we've always worked in the closest city and commuted, and we live on a main street so no cul-de-sac socialising) so it was really good for me to meet other new mums. We had quite a small class (6 couples) and I'm still in touch with 3 of the women (I meet up with one of them every couple of weeks) so I found it a nice way to meet friends - although obviously there's no guarantee you'll like anyone on your course!
Our instructor was really nice and I enjoyed the classes, they did a few sessions where all the men would work together on an exercise/activity and the women would get a different/related activity - and I thought it was really good, they done a really good role-play type exercise on being new parents where you got to read statements from how the new mum felt and the new dad (real life stuff) and got to see the pressures that could come from new parenthood and how important it is to keep communicating (all common sense stuff, but I found it useful, esp with the dads being there too, I think my DH got a lot out of it, helped you see things from the other sides perspective, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, in short, I found the classes really worth while and am glad I did them :-)
I also totally agree about online maternity shopping, I got several pairs of jeans/jumpers from GAP maternity online in the post xmas sales, which are great, but the only thing I've bought in shops so far are 2 pairs of maternity leggings from New Look (great for weekend lounging) and a navy blue hoodie (also for weekend leisure wear :-) I'd hate to think what it's like trying to get maternity gear if you're not au fait with online shopping.
princess glad you had a great time in paris (mind you, how could you not have a great time in paris?) so jealous, not sure when we'll get abroad again, we keep reminiscing about Italy and how much we love it (we were planing to go this spring as we weren't expecting to conceive so had lined that up as a 'something to do that we couldnt do if we had a new baby' kind of thing (I'm sure you all know what I mean about lining up non-baby stuff in the future to keep you going!) And of course, we have a new baby on the way (which is obviously much better than just going to Italy as we can do that many times in the future) but it has made us think about when will we ever do it, maybe thinking about next year, but I'll need to get a new passport (first time since I turned 20 that I've allowed my passport to expire!)
I am also sporting outrageously dark nipples and very little leg hair (long may that continue, eh!). No stretchmarks yet, but I got them late on with DS (week 35 or something) so fully expect them to show, but at the moment my bump is mark free.
I had my 28 week scan on wednesday and the uterine arterial notching that had appeared at my 20 week scan has resolved itself, which is great news. My BP and urine was also good, so all in all things are okay just now. They take more bloods so not had the results of those yet, so could still find out I'm anaemic or something, but generally feeling good. I've got another scan at 34 weeks just as its their policy for folk that have had a 28 wk scan for the notching, just to check the growth and make sure the baby is growing okay. It's quite nice to have another scan to break up the next 12 weeks, although not sure if DH will make it, as it's a late morning appointment and he's not got much annual leave left, but we'll see how it goes.
Princess can't believe you had to change your name because of an imposter - how bizarre is that? You wonder what drives some folk.
Anyway, I really must start posting more regularly as I'm fairly rabbiting on here.
Hope everyone is doing well (and ladygee - any signs of impending baby yet?)
Big waves and hugs to you all (hope you're all doing well)
I'm having a
skive break from work (yes, working today) and thought I'd pop in and catch up briefly. Hope everyone is fine.
Princess I'm glad you had a great time in Paris. I'm with Eleth in being a wee bit - yes, I do know all about the 'things we can do because we don't have kids' planning! We did look into a European city break but opted for a week away in a cottage at Easter instead. But nowhere beats Paris!
How are you getting on with the house Princess? I hope Mr P's week off has made a dent in the to-do list. I know 13 weeks seems like a short time but actually it's a quarter of a year, you will get there, remember how the first 12 weeks of pregnancy seemed to take forever? Time plays tricks and I have every confidence you'll be in your new house in plenty of time to welcome your firstborn
Thanks for the update on hypnobirthing Princess and for the NCT info Eleth. I'm glad we've got NCT booked even though it's a while away, one thing less to think about, but I might get hold of a hypnobirthing book/CD anyway. The only tuition I could find here was 1:1 and while it sounded great it cost £400+ so we went with NCT which was half the price and involves meeting other people, which I think we need. Though I figure the more relaxation tools at my/our disposal the better even if they do involve rainbows!
Heart I'm glad it's not just me with maternity wear trauma! I've had some online ordering success, mainly from Seraphine, but 70% of what I've ordered has gone back. For now I'm doing OK with non-maternity empire line dresses and tops in a size bigger than I would normally wear. Despite general weight gain I'm still not showing to the extent that anyone would guess which is worrying me a bit at 18 weeks. Shouldn't I have a bump by now?! I have had bad experiences with bra fitters in M&S, I don't honestly think they know their stuff, if you're uncomfortable they probably have not fitted you properly. I was sent this link by another lovely mumsnetter which is really helpful on how bras should fit - though it is very disparaging of M&S!
On weird changes the main thing I'm getting is itching. My skin's gone really dry and my limbs and torso itch like mad - worse when i get in bed and am not distracted from it. On the plus side my hair is less greasy! Haven't noticed any lack of leg hair unfortunately. I think the other things probably await me a bit further along.
How are you all feeling about mother's day? I'm very about it, partly because I have several friends who have lost their mums, one very recently, and also because I've spent so many mother's days being at not being a mum and really feel for others in that situation. Being pregnant actually hasn't made all that go away. We are not counting any proverbial chickens until they actually hatch so i just don't feel it applies to me. Last week me and Mr A had the following conversation:
Mr A: it's mother's day soon
Me: yes I know
Mr A: Too early for you this year
Me: I know
Mr A: Next year I'll have to go to the shops and get you a card and say 'It got you this'
Sometimes I find it hard to remember Mr A is actually a romantic!
Right, back to the report - not complaining though - I'm freelance and know from past experience that I'm always overstretched at the financial year end. If I wasn't it would be time to worry!
Love to everyone, hope you are all OK.
Eleth forgot to say great news about your scan, really good that the problem has resolved itself and it will be nice and reassuring to have another scan lined up too. My 20wk scan is about 10 days away and I can't help being anxious about it.
Art thanks for the bra info. Got remeasured today in John Lewis and got given a different size so will try that out for a bit. She said I should go back in 6 weeks to get measured again. Honestly all these bras are getting expensive! Glad you got a few maternity bits online. You may find your bump appears really quickly quite soonish. Mine only popped out properly about 18-19 weeks if I remember correctly. I was ok in normal jeans till then, they just felt a bit more snug than usual. And then bump grew quite quickly.
Mothers Day. I actually had a little cry in the morning thinking about the baby I lost, it would have been our first Mother's Day. Bubs would have been 7 months old. I'm so happy to be pregnant and can't wait to meet this baby. But I won't forget the one I lost.
I have ordered the natal hypnotherapy book and cd so will let you know how I get on. Every little helps I guess!
About the itching - I really really recommend aveeno cream. I suffer with dry skin and eczema and I think this is the best cream. Your GP will prescribe it for you if they are nice
(Some wont as is a bit expensive) or you can get it in sainsburys and boots etc. Otherwise there are other prescription moisturisers they can give you that are loads more effective than the normal ones in the shops e.g. doublebase / oilatum. Don't suffer with it, itching is unbearable and the last thing a pregnant lady needs is something else disrupting her sleep
Hope everyone has a good week x
Well I'm sat here bouncing and rocking on my birthing ball and listening to my "birthing" playlist - I thought I'd start putting it together so I've just something I can stick on and guarantee I'll like. It's all very soothing and not really conducive to working . Still, the third trimester doesn't seem to be treating me very well (28 weeks yesterday) - I've had a bad back since Paris and I'm also contending with insane tiredness and the return of morning sickness. Baby is getting very strong and belting me regularly. It seems to find puke time particularly entertaining and seems to like sticking one if its feet / shoulders / hands right into me when I'm over the bucket! As if to say "yay, mum...fun...more....more....!" Maybe I'll return the favour in 18 years time
Besides this everything is fine and they are mere niggles in the grand scheme. Also reassuring to have a very active baby. I did have a morning of no movement a couple of weeks ago, which is very unusual, so I drank a big glass of icy water and got a lot of response. A bit like putting the poor little bugger under an icy shower I guess. My siblings thought it to be particularly cruel and then made me feel very guilty! "Aw...I bet he was having a lie in and was all snoozy and warm and you went and doused him in freezy water".
So, hypnobirthing is going ridiculously well. Last session next week. I'm so happy we decided to do it. It's great to have Mr P so on board with everything. We are now contemplating home birth.
I'm not going to mention the house because it's a continuing source of stress and I'm just trying to focus on the positives in life
read as had major strop and tantrum over the weekend triggering migraine and causing Mr P to be very upset
Hopefully you are all feeling well and blooming
Heart I had the same twinges on Mother's Day but had had some tears a couple of weeks earlier about the babies that are not here. It's really hard but I do feel at peace - I guess so much time has passed now. It would have been my 4th Mother's Day as a mum if they had worked out. Craziness.
Ele hope the last few weeks of work are going well / fast. Glad that the notching has rectified itself - good news indeed.
Art That's very sweet of Mr A. Mr P was also when I mentioned that some people get a card from their bump. I clearly said that I didn't want one as felt it was a bit creepy (I'm just superstitious). Next year however, I expect breakfast in bed, card, present and lunch . Mr P was like, surely you get a card when the baby is big enough to get you a card itself. I'm not liking where this is going! When I mentioned Father's Day and how he wouldn't be wanting any sort of present or special treatment he decided to have a little rethink about the situation!
Right back to work. 40 days of work left and counting down........ Waves to all.
Princess - I've also been doing a 'labour playlist' this week - my DH made one up for me the last time, which was cool, but this time I had a few tunes in my head I wanted so I sent him a list (which he then added to) will probably delete a few of the ones he's added, but some I'll keep :-)
I'm not really going for the 'relaxing' soundtrack though, more hi energy and singalongy (the midwives are just going to have to cope with my appallling singing like they did last time :-D
Would love the idea of a homebirth though (sadly too high risk) are you going to hire a birthing pool?
I feel absolutely rubbish today. Spent all of last week nursing poor DS who picked up an awful cold/cough, whilst praying that i wouldn't catch it (I normally (outside of pregnancy) have a really good immune system and am rarely ill) but this week it started creeping up on me, and last night it hit me! I have sore eyes, ears, throat, horrible painful hacking cough and congestion, and of course my heartburn is almost constant which isn't helping matters. I feel appalling bad - and quite frankly a couple of paracetamols every 4 hours isn't having any impact on the pain/discomfort at all.
I urge you all to keep away from the germ-laden as much as you can during pregnancy - having a cold when you can't drown yourself in good drugs is awful (I thought I'd already had my quote this pregnancy when I had a bad cold at 11 weeks, but clearly the gods have decided I need to suffer more!)
I'm 30 weeks pregnant this week (3/4 of the way there :-) and have an appointment to get my whooping cough jag tommorow. Have heard of lots of women having painful local reactions to it, so just keeping my fingers crossed I won't be one of them (last thing I want right now!)
I have 5 weeks of work left (well, if you ignore tommorow, which I do, as I'm off ill just now) until maternity leave starts and have a feeling the last few weeks might just fly by.
Art love your conversation with Mr A about mothers day - definitely a romantic at heart :-) One thing I hadn't really thought about is that, as well as your bump giving you a mothers day card in the future (when they arrive) they will also be sending cards to grannies/cousins/aunties etc for birthdays (long before they're capable of writing!) had to keep reminding myself that family members would expect a card from DS on his own, and I couldn't get away with just adding his name to our cards!
heart you've reminded me that I've not actually listened to my natal hypnotherapy CD at all yet (although i have read the book) really need to get it out and give it a go - have you listened to it yet? If so, how did you find it?
I hope you're all doing well (and not immersed in the lurgy like me!)
Lots of waves to anyone I've not name-checked!
Morning Ladies. Been rather off the radar recently. We had the 20wk scan this week, well, wk19 apparently so they are sticking to 13 August as due date. Got quite a wriggler here, and somewhat stubborn because it was hiding from the sonographer and it's Daddy.
Found a couple of hypnobirthing practitioners here and am that MrTeu is agreeing. He is usually resolutely anti anything woo. I think he is feeling very unnerved by us being half way in something that he wasn't that fussed about. Not helped by me having awful second thoughts, I guess I'm just scared, but I really didn't think we'd get this far. To my surprise I'm definitely not one of those that enjoys being preggo and revels in the whole 'womanliness' of it. I find it disturbing on a daily basis, feel horribly ungrateful for this wonderful blessing and really don't understand why everyone else is so excited. I have no inclination to look at any kit and the next 20+ years terrify me. I'm sure it's all normal
Sorry for the splurge.
Hope eleth is feeling a bit better.
Waves to everyone, hope you are all well.
Hope everyone is well. Princess at the return of morning sickness, that's supposed to be over by now!
Princess, birthing ball? I have yet to encounter one of those beasts, how do they work? . Really glad the hypnobirthing is going well. I can definitely see the appeal of a home birth but I think on balance I'd be too anxious. I guess much depends on having good midwife support and ours seem hopelessly overstretched. Hang in there with the house. You'll get there and it will be worth all the stress
Heart thanks for the recommendation for itching. It's eased off a bit this week but I will definitely go to the doctor if it starts again. It might have been down to a growth phase - my bump suddenly popped out last week, seemingly overnight, at bang on 19 weeks just as you said yours did. I wonder if the itching was my skin protesting at having to stretch!
Given that it's getting difficult to hide, I've had to get on with coming out of the closet. All my main work contacts know now, I've only had one negative response, and even she came round after an hour or so and managed to say congratulations as though she meant it. My mum has had a field day telling family. So I am getting a bit more used to the idea of being an 'out' preggo. We had the 20 week scan this week too, at 19+5, it was reassuring to see the baby disco dancing as I haven't felt it yet bar one episode of fluttering about four days ago. It was a major relief to find that everything was 'as expected'. Going to try to curb my anxieties now and stay in a more positive frame of mind.
Ele hurrah for the last few weeks of work! sorry to hear you've been ill. I've also had a cold and chest infection I just can't shake, it's been lingering for weeks now. Doesn't pregnancy bugger up your immune system? I guess with a young child you'll be even more exposed to all those lovely germs. I'd not even thought about labour playlists, will probably quite enjoy doing that. It may lead to disagreement though. I told Mr A that the baby can probably hear by now so he's decided it's never too early to start its musical education and went to get his Black Sabbath records just as I reached for my ukulele
Mellow hope you're settling into the new home nicely. Beryl, how is the wedding planning going? Exciting times
Teu I'm sure those feelings are completely normal. I'm also finding the physical changes weird rather than celebratory and I'm not excited either. Everyone else seems to be and I just sit in the middle of it and wonder why I'm the only one that can't join in. My mum is beside herself, I'm finding her quite difficult as she seems to think there is something wrong with me for not wanting to talk about it all the time... I also have a friend who is mega excited and threatening me with a baby shower even though i have told her repeatedly I would rather gouge my own eyes out with a rusty spoon than put myself and any of my friends through that. I think I'm past my 'what have we done' type wobbles (not sure Mr A is ) and am looking forward to August but not in a bouncing-off-the-walls excited kind of way. I don't want to shop for baby things. I am mostly concentrating on trying to get my work done which is pretty much the normal state of affairs for me, just with a fatter belly than before .
Speaking of not wanting to buy things, can anyone offer advice on how to deal with in-laws who want to inundate us with
a load of crap baby stuff they keep finding in charity shops and cheap discount stores? When we first told them they said we should just ask them if we needed anything. My mum said the same - I asked her not to buy us anything for the baby yet because we want to wait until later then spend some time researching and deciding what we need. It's going to be our only child, we're the ones that are going to be using this stuff day in day out, and i want to have things we have chosen and that we like. Except since then I have had several calls from the ILs along the lines of 'We found this high chair in Aldi, it's the last one in the sale so we're getting it for you', to which I reply 'well I'd like to see it first, and we won't need one for a long time so please don't' but they ignore me and buy it anyway... More alarmingly there is a cot that the daughter of some random neighbour down the road doesn't need any more complete with used mattress - frankly, UGH - and God knows what other stuff they have been picking up from charity shops and the like that I hear about via garbled texts to Mr A. Their house is absolutely chock-full of random useless crap and I dread them turning up with a carload of the same. I don't know how to stop them and he will not have a conversation with his parents about anything, never mind this. Any advice? They are used to buying things for their daughter who is bringing up 4 under-fives on benefits (the Daily Mail would have a field day) but we are not in that position and I don't know how to explain my feelings tactfully. Aside from anything else I don't want them wasting money on things we don't want and might not ever need. Am I just being a horrible middle class snob?!
Better go, I've written far too much again and have a big report to be getting on with. Hope you are all wrapped up against the cold and staying indoors - we have quite a bit of snow here today so I'm thankful I don't have to try to drive anywhere, the furthest I might go today is the swimming pool down the road.
Love and waves to all
Well I've had badd-ish news for the first time in the pregnancy. I had my glucose test results back yesterday and they are slightly elevated, so I have to go back for a more controlled test on Tuesday (god knows why the test isn't properly controlled in the first place). So I had a big wail yesterday as I stupidly googled gestational diabetes and freaked myself out. Turns out if it's something I have developed (and I wouldn't be surprised as it turns out to be a hormone linked thing - and my hormones are notoriously wonky) it can be controlled with strict diet and exercise. So I'll be back on some sort of no sugar, brown diet once again. At least I'm well practiced. The buggar is the extra monitoring - it will not help with my anxiety levels and I'll just have to hypn-breathe through it. It just seems so unfair as I have for the main part I've been eating really really healthily and taking good care of myself with the only very occasional treat thrown in
plus Mum has send the most gorgeous lemon easter cake, which I now can't have. Harumph. It's also made me wobble about the possibility of producing a super sized baby, having to have a caesarian and not being able to breast feed. I kind of thought what with all those years of TTC behind me and bad morning sickness aside, I'd at least be able to have a smooth pregnancy and birth. I hate the way I fly off the handle bar and I'm trying to be calm but it is worrying me.
Artemis I feel your pain. MIL regularly comes into my office area to tell me that she has found things such as a £10 moses basket in the Sally Army, which is in perfect condition, is very cute and would she like me to buy it next time she's in the village. Well, this is how I dealt with it. "Thank you very much MIL. However, I've found an organic moses basket that comes with the mattress and bedding. As I'm desperate to have a non toxic matress that doesn't contribute to allergies the baby may have (MIL's family are prone to horrific allergies) it actually works out cheaper to buy the basket, mattress and bedding bundle than just ordering the mattress. If I had the cheap basket I would have to order a bespoke mattress and they are lots more - so it would end up more expensive" At this point MIL looked and said, well it sounds like you have it under control. Yes, I do. I don't want my baby in a charity shop bed! I wouldn't expect them to buy their mattress from a charity shop! And I say this as someone who is happy to up-cycle furniture and nik naks from charity shops, just not key baby items. The problem we have is that they listen into our conversations and there have been a few about costs on the house mounting. It's tricky not to offend though. I've gently snubbed a few things already, so they've kinda stopped mentioning to me and go via Mr P, who then say's, "ooh, I'll run it past management" and nothing more is said. The other thing to remember is that all cots and beds should have a new mattress per child. So you could always pull the "oh it's easier for us to buy a new cot and mattress together". I think my PILs see me as a snob anyway, there are regular side swipes about our 'organic' posh foods.
Teu Enjoy the hypnobirthing. The founding principles of it are not woo at all. It's just about releasing fear so that your body can create the right hormones to enable your muscles to do what they need to do. If you stop producing the birthing hormones and get scared, you go into fight or flight, adrenalin takes over, your body tenses up and sends blood to vital muscles for fleeing and away from the uterus, which then clamps up because your body is telling it that it's not safe to give birth and the whole process can become very painful. But keeping relaxed and calm and learning to encourage the release of endorphins and feelings of safety, the idea is that your uterus can work to open up your cervix easily and the baby can move down and out easily. The methods to relax can be a bit woo, but you can take from it what you will. And you will find something in there that works for you. There are 3 distinct breathing techniques to learn. I'm finding a couple quite challenging but practicing every day. I've watched several hypnobirths now and the overriding impression is that the birthing mum seems really in control and not at all in pain, there is no screaming or red facedness or eyes clamped shut or squeezing, pushing, panting etc and the babies seem to pop out easily and come out really calm. The stuff for the birthing partner is also fab and Mr P feels really ready for it all and has lots of things that he knows he is in control of - such as dealing with medical staff, helping me with breathing and knowing what our birthing preferences are so that I can relax and let my body get on and he can deal with any admin type matters. It's been a massive education for both of us and I'm really pleased we've done it. For example, I had no idea that the ideal way for a baby to come out was face down. I always imagined that they came out face up. This is just one small thing I've learned during class! Oh and a birthing ball is just a big gym ball, which helps your posture and position you correctly so that the baby hopefully gets into the correct position.
Ele hope your flu jab wasn't painful today. 5 weeks left woo hoo! Sorry you feel poorly. After much deliberation and with the possibly GD scare, we've decided that we'll go to hospital, but we'll leave it as late as we can (unless I need a caesarian). We watched a hypnobirth in a birthing pool at a hospital this week and it was really calm. I also spoke to my friend who recently had her baby at home and because she didn't appear to be in any sort of pain, the midwife came and then went without examining her and a couple of hours later, she was in the last part of the second stage and they had to call an ambulance because the midwives couldn't get back soon enough. She ended up with a third degree tear because she panicked at the end and because she only had paramedics to help. She also said that when she was in hospital (2 days for the tear) the midwives were much more helpful with establishing breast feeding and that it was a really nice atmosphere and not at all like regular hospital. I'm glad that I've got friends who've been through it because it has made me feel like hospital birth isn't the terrifying medicalised thing that I thought it would be. Plus I may need extra monitoring and I have to put baby first. Maybe next time (if I'm not a GD mum) I'll see how I feel about homebirth.
Right, that was rather epic! Hope you all have nice Friday's and lovely weekends. I'm off on Monday for Mr P's birthday, so I'm hoping today goes quickly! And I'm staying away from googling medical things and focusing on buying stuff for the house (and baby)!
Luffs to you all xxx
Great to see how you're all doing.
I'm still feeling spectacularly awful, and had phoned my GP practice this morning to see if could still get the whooping cough jab if I had a bad cold, and they said not to bother coming in and have rescheduled it for next week - which I'm really pleased about as the weather outside is cold and wet and I really didn't fancy the walk!
art - sympathies with the in-laws. It's a shame Mr A won't speak to them as I think the best way to deal with inlaws is for their biological offspring to have all the hard conversations as they take it a lot better than from their daughter-in-laws.
With DS (who we also thougth was going to be our only child) we also wanted to buy things ourselves, so Mr E told his in-laws we didn't need anything at that point and that we could buy it ourselves. Later on when they were desperate to buy something, we said we could do with some cot sheets so they bought them instead. The bottom line is, there's no point them offloading crap to you as you'll just ditch it. You might want to play on the 'this is our only child' line and you want to research and plan and buy stuff, and if they want to contribute you can make suggestions for them to get you, but you want to be choosing it - and you don't want to be rushed into making decisions about high chairs when your baby hasn't even been born (grandparents go mad about babies - don't really understand it!)
We borrowed a moses basket off of one of Mr E's cousins (at his mums suggestion) but I was happy to do that, as they're only in moses baskets for a few months, and we bought our own matress for it and MIL washed it all for us, so I had no concerns about cleanliness or germs. We're actually borrowing it again this time.
Sometimes you just have to be harsh and spell things out - noses might get put out of joint in the short term, but anyone will understand how you want to buy stuff for your own baby.
Teu i agree with Art and I think the feelings you have are perfectly normal. I was plagued with doubts with DS about what kind of a parent I was going to be, I was never maternal beforehand and never oohed or aahed over babies. Fortunately, I knew Mr E was going to be a natural and we discussed how if I was really shite, he'd have to step up! I also don't really enjoy pregnancy (with both pregnancies I had extended morning sickness, constipation, piles, bad colds and felt crap). I mean, I love feeling the baby kick, but it is odd when your body is overaken by an alien, so I think it's perfectly natural. What I would say, is despite all of the above, the moment I first clapped eyes on DS I did the textbook thing of immediately falling in love with him and all those worries and doubts and fears just melted away. Pregnancy is a huge big scary thing and I think its healthy to acknowledge those fears and know that deep down, a lot of your fears are shared with other first time mums, you're not alone.
princess sorry about the GD scare. But at the moment it's just a scare you wont' know until you do the full on glucose test so try not to worry about what it might mean just now, because if you do end up with GD you'll have plenty of time to worry about it then (if you know what I mean!)
If it's any consolation, I'm on another site where a lot of women either have diabetes or GD and they're all doing absolutely fine. GD can lead to a big birthweight baby, but not always, and if you do have it, you'll get lots of growth scans (which totally breaks up the last 20 weeks) and extra support which is a good thing, you know they're monitoring your baby and I think that's reassuring. Even if you end up with a section (which could happen to any of us) you can still breastfeed, babies still have a suck reflex and you can still get 'skin to skin' contact as soon as the baby is born.
I had a 'hospitalised' birth with DS as I had severe pre-eclampsia and whilst it goes against all the stuff you learn about in hynobirthing, the support you get afterwards from midwives was great and I didn't have any issues getting breastfeeding started and don't have any complaints about my stay in the post-natal ward.
This time round (given that I wouldnt' be surprised if I get pre-eclampsia again) I'm preparing myself for another hospitalised 'drip' induction, but I aim to go into it with a lot more positivity. My bottom line is that while a watery, lovely hippy birth would be my ideal, as long as I get a healthy live baby, they can (quite frankly) do what they want to me :-D
Right, took the paracetamol an hour ago and still no improvement (I think I've got the placebos reported in the news this week!)
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Thanks for the pep talk ladies. Eleth MrTeu is the natural too. I'm avaoiding cuddles with all the newborns I know in case they scream and it taps into my inadequacy fears.
princess If it helps a friend of mine developed GD, had a CS for medical reasons and breastfed from the get go, you are in good hands. Hope the sickness is abating too. Thanks for the run down on the hypnobirthing. Sounds really good. I watched the One born every minute series and there was a couple, both hairdressers
cue judgemental attitudes who must have done hypno, I was really impressed with how she birthed. Totally altered my attitude to them. Now who sounds like a snob?!
Artemis You are not being a snob. There are somethings that are nicer bought new. Our prospective grandparents have been really good, and both sets have suggested chipping in on the big ticket items like a pushchair/pram when we make a decision on what we want. Perhaps you could take that track, 'we really appreciate that you want to help us kit out, perhaps you'd like to help towards X.'
waves, hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.
Teu I think we're cut from the same cloth :-)
All my life I've avoided holding babies primarily as they either a) puked on me or b) started crying or c) I had no idea how to hold them and they always made me feel inadequate.
In fact, I remember the week before DS was born, a girl in our antenatal class had had her baby and we all went out for lunch to meet up with them. Everyone there (all the blokes included) all had a 'wee hold' of the baby apart from me, all i could think was:
What if I drop it?
What if it cries?
What if I don't support it properly and it flops about?
Is there really one of them inside my belly????
Going home that day, I remember telling all my fears to Mr E who kindly pointed out that it was really a bit late now to be worrying about it, and it would be fine as he would be there and was willing to do whatever it took (this made me feel so so much better at the time - as even though I knew he was there, it was so reassuring to hear him spell it out to me)
Just wanted to say that even a dysfunctional like me, still managed to eek out some kind of maternal instinct when I needed to :-D
Thanks everyone for the advice on coping with the in-laws. They've been quiet lately, I'm bracing myself for the next call and rehearsing my speech in my head - thanking them for the generous thought but asking if they'd put the money aside instead until we've decided what we want. Mr A raised a sceptical eyebrow but fingers crossed. Seriously, their house is like a 1970s public information safety in the home advert. They actually store stuff on the stairs. When I get to the point I can't see my feet I'm going to have to get Mr A to clear me a path to the bathroom whenever we go round there
Princess, how did your glucose test go today? I hope you had better news and that the previous one was just a blip. I'm sure you won't have GD, you surely can't be in the high risk bracket, but whatever they say you are still doing the best you can to manage the situation by practicing the hypno techniques and I'm sure that will help you deal with any anxieties. And your iron willpower is well practiced at the diet thing - I'm sure if you do still have elevated glucose you're more than capable of controlling it that way. Eleth is right, any one of us could end up having a section irrespective of GD or not, and even if you do there is no reason why it should interfere with breastfeeding unless there are other complications. Do let us know how you got on today and I'm keeping everything crossed it's all fine.
Teu I still can't watch OBEM. Even the trailers make me break out in a cold sweat. There seem to be a lot of 'having babies' programmes on at the moment. I'm in denial. I'm still not showing very much, I cannot imagine ever being the size of the women you see at 40wks
Eleth your reaction to babies exactly describes me too... maybe that's why I've left it until I'm nearly 40 to have one of my own . Every baby I've ever met has either dumped its lunch down me or started wailing the second I clapped eyes on it so I have learnt to avoid. I'm already worrying about whether I'll be able to cope with a newborn simply from a practical point of view of holding it the right way up, not dropping/breaking it and knowing what to do when it cries (which I imagine to be ALL THE TIME)... Mr E was right though, too late now! I'm glad it's not just me . How are you feeling now - any better? I've not fancied going out much in the rotten weather, I'm rubbish enough in snow and ice even without having my centre of gravity disturbed, so I hope it's not too bad where you are. Have you gone into work at all or just started your ML a few days early?
All fine here I think. I'm trying not to get
any more anxious about not feeling any movement. I felt some fluttering last Monday but baby has been silent since then. It was a relief to see it wriggling away on the screen a few days later and I have to keep reminding myself that just because I can't feel it yet doesn't mean it's not there. My bump seems to fluctuate too, some days it's quite obvious but others you still wouldn't know I'm pregnant not sure if that is related to how much cake I've eaten on any given day. From anxious googling it seems 21 weeks is not unusual to not be feeling much with a first baby - hope so anyway. I daresay I'll be nostalgic for the peace in a few months when I have a foot kicking my bladder and an elbow jammed in my ribs!
Best be off, I'm meant to be working - I hate financial year end, I am up to my eyes in reports and it looks like being a long week. Hope to have the Monday bank holiday though, and then it's only another 4 days until a week off .
Waves and 10+ style tail feather shakes to everyone, hope you're all OK.
Waves to all. Ele hope you are feeling better now? It's rubbish not being able to take anything at all to ease things when pg. I have succumbed to about three paracetomol doses at a few points during the pregnancy. I know it is supposed to be safe, but I feel bad taking anything. I even talked myself out of using olbas oil as there are mixed reports on t'net about whether it is safe / tested or not. And it's only flippin' eucalyptus oil!! One thing about this cold weather is it is keeping the hayfever at bay for a while, which is a blessing for me, as I think antihistamines are out too.
Princess hope the GD test was ok today. If not, don't worry too much. I know of people who have vaginal births with GD and also several people who have had sections that had no problem at all breastfeeding. As Art said, you know more about healthy diets than most, and you know you can do it when the need arises, for you and your baby. You could give lessons! And it's really not long to go now.
Teu mixed feelings are normal. I'm starting to feel real happiness for the first time in over two years (TTC / endo / surgery woes) and yet I still get panicked when I read the nightmare threads on the parenting section of mumsnet. I've banned myself from going over there actually, and try and keep thinking of how many people I know that manage bringing up children just fine. It is bloody scary though. I think everyone just makes it up as they go along, and also babies / kids are all different.
Art sorry about all the charity shop junk! You aren't snobby. I have noticed this a bit too, although not quite to the same extent as you. People are trying to help, but it is awkward I know. I was offered old sheets and blankets from a friend, and I know there is nothing at all wrong with them, only that I don't have second hand bedding myself, so why would I have them for the baby, when money isn't that tight? We aren't rich by a long way, but we can afford our lifestyle and we have money saved for this time
-for too long. One trick I have used is to say that you have already been offered the same item by another friend, or have already bought it. This way you don't have to have the 'I don't want second hand' conversation, and thank them for their offer, then you can buy what you like later on. Nothing wrong with second hand of course - we are borrowing a bedside crib off a friend as it will only be for six months and I'm fine about used baby clothes from friends if they are in good condition. I'm looking on ebay for a used sling as I will want a soft one to start with and then a more structured one a few months later, so no need to pay full price. But it means I can do my research and choose what I want for me and the bambino. I have wanted new things for the first clothes though. My mum kind of assumed that she would buy all the first clothes for the baby to help me out (I'm her youngest child and she still sees me as a baby I think) and seemed a bit disappointed that I didn't need / want her to. She wanted to help and she was excited and wanted to shop too - but I wanted to pick these first few things out for my long awaited (and probably only) child. Shopping is about the only vice I have at the moment and cake!
I'm doing ok, coming up to 28 weeks and I am ENORMOUS. I have only put on a stone which I think is ok by this point, but the bump is huge. I can't see how it can get any bigger! I have a waddle now and going up hills is a struggle, but feeling mostly ok. Trying to think of names is stressing me a bit though, I like a few names but can think of things that are wrong with all of them. I don't think anything will ever be perfect so I just need to choose one. DH and I have mostly similar taste though which is nice, we have vetoed a few of each others but have a few that we both think are ok. Just ok though!!
right best be off. wishing you all happy easters and hot cross buns (in the oven)
Well, after feeling rubbish over the weekend I went to the docs on Monday and was diagnosed with a chest infection and given antibiotics. So, been off work this week struggling on with the chest infection and the cold (blocked sinuses being by far the worst bit!). I feel things are improving (and I'm managing some sleep now) but slowly and I'm cursing my crappy pregnancy immune system most days!.
On the bright side, it means that when I go back to work on Tuesday I'll only have 4 weeks work left (which works out at about 15 days of work when you take off booked leave and maternity appointments). So, that's made things seem a whole lot closer (which also brings the 'business end' a bit closer, but like Art was doing earlier on, I'm a bit 'la la la - can't hear you' about that at the moment :-D.
Worst thing about this ailment is that it seems to have brought back a bit of the nausea (I sympathise with you princess) and can't really drink that much water again (which is rubbish) and my heartburn has been horrendous - I'm having to hold back from guzzling a half litre bottle of gaviscon a week (trying to eek it out to 12 days before getting renewals from chemist so it doesn't look like I'm selling it on or anything!)
Art re movcement - I remember not getting much movements at about 21 weeks and being surprised as I thought I would feel them earlier this time (so they say). At my 20 wk scan, the sonographer had said, oh you'll be feeling him/her move a lot now - and I was like, no, not really - and she looked surprised, saying the placenta was out the way and the baby was in a good position (and was active during the scan). Anyway, it was probably a good few weeks after that before I felt it move regularly. Right now (at week 31) it's squiggling about quite a bit and have had a few hiccuping sessions recently too :-)
heart I think at 30 weeks I'd weighed myself and I'd put on 1 1/2 stone - so 1 stone at 28 weeks sounds fine (mind you, I always think I'm not going to worry about weight in pregnancy - rest of my life to work it off!) and it sounds like its all bump! I've not got any stretch marks yet (I will get them, got them overnight at £35 weeks last time) but I keep thinking (and Mr E keeps saying) my tummy is going to get bigger but how??? (surely there's no more room in there???)
Sadly, due to cold I have very little sense of taste/smell just now so can't really enjoy chocolate or cake so looks like a miserable easter ahead for me :-(
Hope you're all doing well!