To want to say what I really feel hear goes?anyone else care to share

(287 Posts)
mummybegood Mon 01-Feb-10 21:04:00

Fil & Mil no I dont want you phoning me everyday and checking up on the kids telling me what best for my children and no I dont want you to just tell me your coming over now without asking its not convient.
I really need to grow a backbone and say how I feel to people but in a nice way instead of being walked over like I do aibu.

compo Mon 01-Feb-10 21:05:31

dear work colleague - I am not interested in the tedium of your life, now go and do one

ah, that's better grin

heQet Mon 01-Feb-10 21:08:38

"I don't care."

That pretty much covers anything said to me by anyone, the vast majority of the time. blush

lol heQet

mummybegood Mon 01-Feb-10 21:12:37

Glad its not just me then lets all get it of our chest blargh blargh grin

squashimodo Mon 01-Feb-10 21:13:18

Dear social worker, you have already carried out a care asessment on my autistic sons, why do you have to redo it now? If you need to change it because you can't find anyone qualified enough, the answer is to employ someone who is qualified enough!
Dear ds2's head teacher, I wish you would just do one, am sick of your tedious excuses, you think that because you say it with a smile, that makes everything alright. I am leaving it now, but I will ask you at the iep meeting in front of autism outreach, then we will see.
Dear neighbour, stop puting teabags on my car you fing weirdo, I saw you, you childish prick.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying Mon 01-Feb-10 21:16:06

dear next door but one neighbour

get a life you boring weirdo

stop interfering with mine

and explain one thing to me, why did you not bother us when neil was alive?


hahah! Squahimodo - I hope you're taking them off your car and putting them on his doorstep??!! How strange your neighbour must be - so strange in fact, you could almost live on my road!

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 01-Feb-10 21:18:52

Darling, darling client we provided the information and pricing you requested to your exact specification. We gave you a fantastic price and you said you wanted to go ahead. Please stop wasting my bloody time and that of all my colleagues by whinging that you now want changes and a shorter term. The deal is the deal. Take it or leave it.

And, I DO NOT CARE if you are a big and important customer. That is no excuse for not behaving with consideration and respect to other people.

Phew - that's better.

thesteelfairy Mon 01-Feb-10 21:24:10

Friend - Stress? Tired? Problems? You don't even have any kids wtf do you know about these things. Your problems are trivial and I can barely keep from laughing in your face when you moan on about how much you miss your dog since you walked out on your wife.

thesecondcoming Mon 01-Feb-10 21:27:05

just a quickie to let you know my daughter would like to return home. Kindly fuck off from interfering in future-and unless you unreservedly apologise then you can fuck off seeing us or the kids again.

14hourstillbedtime Mon 01-Feb-10 21:28:56

thesteelfairy - I'm so with you!

If you have kids + problems, I am prepared to listen... If you have no kids + problems then YOU DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS... plus you have EVENINGS and WEEKENDS to sort them out, if you still insist that you do have problems....

Ah, that felt better grin

CheeryCherry Mon 01-Feb-10 21:32:41

Friend - you shouldn'd have got a bloody puppy if you are sick of it already,chewing and whining and pissing everywhere, THATS WHAT THEY DO! Stop whining yourself!
MIL - no we don't want to see all these theatre shows you keep sending leaflets on, they are not our thing, and stop playing the martyr everytime we say no.
Two colleagues - stop fucking moaning ALL THE TIME. If you hate it that much, piss off and find a new job.

Am surprised at myself, all this pent up anger!

Bleatblurt Mon 01-Feb-10 21:34:50

DH, it's only a flat pack piece of furniture. The white hot rage that building it has caused is so OTT I will be forced to smother you in your sleep. And I built the same thing while heavily pregnant without so much as a single whinge. Stop being such a knobber.

PiratePrincess Mon 01-Feb-10 21:36:54

To DH:

Don't work from home and mess the house up angry and no, it's not my time of the month hmm

havoc Mon 01-Feb-10 21:38:28

MIL - try to remember that you have three grandchildren, not one. The relationship (or lack of) you have with DC are because of your actions, not their personality traits.

Litchick Mon 01-Feb-10 21:39:11

DH - stop getting weighed every fecking morning. I am very pleased that you are finally looking after yourself, have stopped free basing lard and are losing weight, but am uninterested in whether you have gained half a pound over the weekend.

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 01-Feb-10 21:40:06

And, to Mr You Know Who You Are, stop talking about how much you care about me and what a good friend I am and how much you love me but accept that it will never be more. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANY MORE.

I'm sorry I don't fancy you. I'm sorry you have a saggy, old man's bottom [only seen fully dressed for anyone wondering]. I know you are only six years older than I am; I know you make me laugh; I know you are a nice man but I DO NOT FANCY YOU.

Now, if I wanted you for your money, we'd probably both be happy. But I don't. I wish I did!!

compo Mon 01-Feb-10 21:40:56

oh my god 14hourstillbedtime, can I put that on my facebook status?!!! I wish I had the guts to do that, so many student friends on there 'oh god it's 10am and I'm soooo tired, how will I get through the one lecture I have today' hmm

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 01-Feb-10 21:41:59

I'll have the Porsche though, if you want to gift wrap it with no strings attached grin

MrsWillis Mon 01-Feb-10 21:42:49

H - When you leave me and move in with her the next day then yes you have left me for someone else no matter how much you try and tell me you haven't.
If you keep pissing me about with regards to access for the kids and texting and ringing her when you are supposed to be looking after them then I will stop all access and you can take me to court.


Thanks, that feels better.

PandaEis Mon 01-Feb-10 21:44:29

to best friend- NO the man you were having an affair with is NOT going to leave his girlfriend, he also shouldnt be relied on to NOT sleep with whatever slapper comes along and offers it on a plate. this means that when he DID sleep with the slapper YOU WERE NOT CHEATED ON!!angry i pity his blindly naive girlfriendsad

phew thats bettergrin

Dear DSIS,

No you being a size 18 at 42 is not the end of the world, that does not mean that my being a size 12-14 is a bad thing nor does it excuse you being rude because i still have a belly after having DS2 2 yrs ago...I am not particularly bothered by it so why are you??

Dear DP

i am doing my dammed hardest to get ds2 to go to sleep earlier in the evening. turn the fuckin tv down and don't pick him up for a hug when he cries, thats why he keeps doing it, When you are not here he settles easier.

thesecondcoming Mon 01-Feb-10 21:52:01

TLES-i don't know how to reply to you but thank you for your kind thoughts. xx

Darling boyfriend

You have been a total TWAT this weekend and no, you are not forgiven.


My problems are more important than yours because I am doing something about mine.


Get a job or move out.

Woman at nusery

I will pay my nursery fees when and only when it suits me. I am skint right now, so please fuck off ringing me until I get my tax credits on Thursday.

Woman at work who is on maternity leave

Please do not come back, I like your job too much and would like to stay here thank you very much.

My good friend

Please stop commenting on EVERY status that I put up on FB - you do not look clever and everyone thinks your weird.

Hmm, I think that's everyone

Thanks for that

Antdamm Mon 01-Feb-10 21:54:18

Dear SIL - stop trying to get one over on me by claiming you have fantastic parenting skills - its not a competition! Also, please stop playing the martyr and manipulating everyone around you

DP - next time you make a life altering decision, please let me know before you tell every one of your work mates and your entire family. It might be important for me to know also... and sometimes I would like to be involved in the decision making - if its not too much to ask.

SixtyFootDoll Mon 01-Feb-10 21:54:27

NO I dont want to set up a direct debit for a bloody dog charity, there's just been a bloody earthquake for fucks sake!

Dear DD3's friend's mom.

I do not care what ORT book your PFB is on. I know she is advanced (you've told me often enough), but my DD3 will have better teeth! wink


TSC YVW shhh don't let ppl know i am nice lol wink

Mmmcoffee Mon 01-Feb-10 21:57:12

Dear friend, I am NOT your personal problem-solver. Next time you have a desperate life-or-death hmm crisis, like your electric goes out, or your computer crashes because you clicked a stupid link and got a virus, or your daughter feels a bit sick at school, ring your bloody husband who fucked off to America for a year. Ring your dad who lives half an hour away from you. DO NOT ring me and cry and say life is so hard for you and ask me to drive forty fucking miles to your house to fix things up.


Darling Cousin with Marvellous Partner and PFB...please stop telling me how unreasonable I am to have no faith in our LEA...your baby is one year old, so what would you know? Mine is nine. Yes, I might be a bit jaundiced about the educational provision in our borough, but you my dear still have rose tinted specs firmly welded on.

It does not make me hysterical. Grhh.

Antdamm Mon 01-Feb-10 21:58:50

Dear SIL (again) please stop dressing like a 16year old - you are 25 and a mother of two - it doesnt suit you, its actually quite embarassing.

DP - (again) the next time we have a 'family' discussion and you answer no - I would like an explanation as to why this is your answer - its not much to ask for

BicycleBelle Mon 01-Feb-10 22:01:07

Dear DM, I do not phone you because every time I speak to you you moan at me, criticise me, and undermine me. I do not bring the kids to see you because you appear to dislike them as much as you do me, and I will not have you being as nasty to them as you are to me. My working full time is not about neglecting the kids and failing to be a good wife, its about paying the bloody mortgage. So, either f* off and leave us alone or learn to behave better. How come most mums love their kids / grandkids and its beyond you?
Wish I could say it in RL!

Dear DS1's biological Grandmother, i do not care if you have been having a hard time since your second husband died, he is the person who yelled at DS1 and told him neither of you wanted anything to do with deal with it! He is not that little boy of 5 who phoned you because he had just lost his grandad he is now an 11yr old and knows what arseholes your family are.

Dear DS2's biological grandmother, realise one thing you are missing out on a grandson all because 6 yrs ago your son left his partner of 22yrs. how is that any different to what you did???

DS2 is not missing out because he has no idea who you are you stupid bint

bicyclebelle, i would love to say the things i have said here in RL as well lol

DuelingFanjo Mon 01-Feb-10 22:06:17

We have been trying for two years actually, but because of my age one miscarriage is about all we've been able to manage and no, I am not really that interested in seeing pictures of our scan your positive pregnancy test, your scan and your bump on facebook.

LilyLovesSid Mon 01-Feb-10 23:22:54

DP - while in many ways you are the perfect partner, your occasional complete thoughtlessness sometimes makes me want to scream. And no, I have not forgotten about that time when you mortified me in front of all my friends when I was 7 months pregnant with DD2, nor will I, so if on the odd occasion it gets brought up do not tell me to forget about it. Oh, and while you're there, 8 years and 2 kids - still not enough to get off your arse and ask me to marry you huh?

DBIL - I know you have depression, and I'm sorry you are so low at the moment. I also know I'm not a qualified counsellor. I'm sorry I do not have all the answers. I have advised you to talk to your GP and get some help, but that's all I can do. Please, I have no problem in talking to you, but I can't solve your problems for you.

MIL - no, I'm not going to stop breastfeeding because you are uncomfortable with it. And, if you offer to look after the kids, please could you make sure you actually do the basic things they need, like put them down for a nap (just because DD1 is running around doesn't mean she doesn't need a break) and feeding them proper food (crisps and biscuits are not a substitute for lunch when DD1 won't eat her sandwich, and a bottle of EBM is not in any way gross, so bloody well give it to DD2 when she's hungry).

Wow. This is cathartic!

This should become a regular thing!!!

Dear DS dad
Stop using the fucking roasting tin to cook DS' fish fingers in. Use the fucking baking tray like I told you to.

Strawbezza Mon 01-Feb-10 23:31:22

'Sorry, you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck'

Comewhinewithme Mon 01-Feb-10 23:32:04

Dear woman at school
Please take better care of your daughter and send her to school in something that fits.
Also please stop letting her walk home alone she is six FFS you are sat on your ass at home while your little girl crosses roads to get back to you.
I know your life is shit and you have stuff to deal with but it is breaking my heart everytime I see her.

coldtits Mon 01-Feb-10 23:35:18

You know who you are

I love you more than I can possibly admit to you, and if I'm sometimes a bit flippant and offish it's because it's that or borderline obsessive.

I give a facade of being totally trusting and easy going, whereas in fact, if I can't get hold of you on the phone when i think I should be able to, I almost fall to bits and can't sleep that night, or at all until I speak to you - but you'll never know this because it's weird.

I'm actually struggling with the distance part of our relationship, because I miss you really badly in the week. However, the distance part is a good thing, as it's stopped love developing into full on stalking.

Hopefully you'll never find out how strange I am inside - but knowing you, you'd think it was funny instead of disturbing because you tend to be awesome like that.

And I actually like the smell of your armpits, stop covering them in Lynx. It makes me sneeze.

junkcollector Mon 01-Feb-10 23:41:36

Dear Dad, You are turning into a horrible bitter, racist, lazy old man and I fear for your future. You are in the situation you are in because YOU put yourself there. Make friends with your sister so you can go to your niece's wedding. DO NOT drink too much. DO NOT offend everyone. STOP flaking on every arrangement. START living!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tortington Mon 01-Feb-10 23:43:47

Allan. fuck right off.

blinks Mon 01-Feb-10 23:45:20

well, youasked for it.


i will never forgive you and even though i love you, i never want to see you again as long as i live. i go to sleep hating you.


it's all about you, you fucker. you're a creepy perv and you made my adolescence hell. if you come anywhere near my children i'll kill you.

TimothyTigerTuppennyTail Mon 01-Feb-10 23:47:28

Dear Everyone,

I hate my husband, stop trying to pretend I don't. He is a prick. Yes he does have a few good points, but believe me they do not compensate for the bad. You only see the 'public face'. So just accept it please.

Thank you.

blinks Mon 01-Feb-10 23:48:09

oooh this is goooood.


having threesomes infront of your child is fucking child abuse and i hope you rot in hell.


you're not worthy of your son's love.

JeMeSouviens Mon 01-Feb-10 23:50:19

Dear Acquantince that has just had a baby girl, you are not a "new mom", you are also the mother of a 3yo little boy, don't forget about him, now you have the girl that you always wanted angry

momofnearly2 Mon 01-Feb-10 23:51:46

Friend - If you insist on weaning your baby at 12 weeks old then please stop complaining when he isn't sleeping at night because he's got such tummy ache he is curling himself up in a ball. If you wish to stop his tummy ache's then stop forcing solids down his throat.

(I know it's a mothers decision when to wean her child but seriously you can tell this child is in distress everytime his mom goes near him with a spoon)

Mom - I'm pregnant blush

BicycleBelle Mon 01-Feb-10 23:52:08

Blimey !! shock. Suddenly, having critical parents doesn't seem quite so bad!

blinks Mon 01-Feb-10 23:56:37

my job is done then BB

MagicNappySack Tue 02-Feb-10 00:05:34


I will be off like a shot when my novel is finally published.


Stop being mad at me any more for having gotten so drunk on friday. I hardly go out at all since DS and I've forgotten how to behave myself blush


Sorry i don't love you as much now that DS is here.


STOP laughing at me when I tell you off.

MumGoneCrazy Tue 02-Feb-10 00:07:35

Dear MIL - just because my DD caught nits twice in 2 months from nursery does NOT make me a bad mother and does NOT give you a good reason to phone social services on me. Also dont bitch about how DP and i live our live, bring up OUR children and split our chores just because its different to the way you do it.

If i wanted to be as big a bitch as you then i could list quite a few things about you that make you a million times worse than me [insert middle finger smiley]

Dear sperm donor that made my DS - you DO NOT tell a 8 yr old boy that you take steriods when you go to the gym, you also DO NOT meet him once, phone him twice and send one letter then never contact him again just because i turned you down.

YOUR AN ARSEHOLE, he's happy without you and he has a daddy who loves him and respects him [insert another middle finger smiley]

To DH - I'm giving you one last chance. But listen mate if you want this to work, I don't want any of your stinky dope smoking friends thinking they own the house. Oh and please stop talking about my "middle class upbringing". I had a great childhood, you didn't, its not my fault..

To mum and dad - yes, I'm sorry, I'm giving him one more chance to prove himself.

To older brother - yes, you were one of the reasons our dad's business has gone under. You are living in their house having a fantastic rent free life, whilst they've bailed you out yet again and are now sad and lonely on the other side of the channel. I love you and I love my nephews but just for once help our parents rather than helping yourself...

Spleen vented, thanks for this thread!

mablemurple Tue 02-Feb-10 00:10:53

I know it's not in the spirit of this thread, but I really hate the no-kids-therefore-no-problems shit spouted earlier. You don't have a monopoly on worry just because you have children.

cariboo Tue 02-Feb-10 00:22:51

dearest dd, I love you my little sweetheart & it hurts me to have to fight over doing your homework every night & weekend. I see you're exhausted; Daddy & I have made a mistake with your education. And yes, you did have a seizure 2 hours ago. I want you OUT of that place; it's not for you.

dh, please wake up & smell the coffee - your dd3 is too young to be leaving the house at 7:06 every morning on the bus to be at school for 8. Then busting a gut all day trying to assimilate stuff she should be learning in like maybe 5 years from now when she has at least some grasp of history and politics. Coming home in the dark, straight in the house to start homework. Dinner. Bed. And on it goes. She has a pain in her chest & tummy - can children get ulcers?

Winter, we've all had enough of you. Get thee gone!

Kitkatqueen Tue 02-Feb-10 00:23:42

mable, yes you are right, but when you have children your life is not your own, your problems are, but you have multiple others to do so much for that its very hard to sort your own problems out. Believe me it one of those situations where you can't believe the difficulty of it until you are in the situation.

You also have the added bonus of additional worry because your children rely on you so wholly.

I'm afraid its not comprehensible until you've had kids....It wasn't to me at least.

Which leads me to my spleen vent

scaredoflove Tue 02-Feb-10 00:27:20

To parents and siblings - I am grown up, stop treating me like I'm 5, I am quite capable to run my life and do, without any actual input from any of you. Critisising me isn't input

To friend - walk away before he kills you. You are losing your children, they hate him, one day they will hate you too

To other friend - stop, it's hurting people

To children - I am not a personal bank, I am not stupid, I was a teenager once too

sparkle09 Tue 02-Feb-10 00:28:26

dad - its really lovely that your back in the uk for two weeks - but its not bloody good enough that i only see you on the first day while your busy with the house (updating their house for new tenants) and then not see you until the day before you leave because you to bloody busy doing whatever you please!

i may be 26 but the kids and i would like to see you more the bloody twice!!!! angry

much better now, cheers op.

Vallhala Tue 02-Feb-10 00:31:07

Dear forum owner,

Please don't patronisingly pm me to 'thank me for understanding' that you removed my post asking for others to consider donating their supermarket charity tokens to the particular one I support because I don't, not least because you didn't give me a reason. It would have cost you nothing to leave the politely made request there. Given that your forum consists entirely of people who all support the same main cause it hurts only the potential beneficiaries and doesn't take from other member's chosen organisations as they are not part of this supermarket's campaign.

Your actions are childish and spiteful and you are denying a charity the chance of funds because you appear to have fallen out with the charity's owner over a totally unrelated matter.

Now stop playing god and grow up!

GrumpyWhenWoken Tue 02-Feb-10 00:34:28

To my two lovely little sons: I'm sorry I'm so shouty and horrid at the moment, maybe it's giving up smoking that's making me this way, but I don't mean to take it out on you, I love you so much and you don't deserve me being so mean.

EcoMouse Tue 02-Feb-10 00:38:13

To friends P - You are perilously close to over stepping the mark and when you do, don't be so arrogant as to assume I wont tell!
You're a sniffer, not quite as bad as an active knobber but I don't think you are worthy of her trust. Please prove me wrong.

To a friend - Leave me alone, for now. You've caused a rift and I'm not ready to discuss it with you, I have a world of real and immediate problems on my plate. If by the time I'm ready and able, you've turned your back, so be it ...but your daily nagging is really bugging me and I have asked nicely.

tw1nkley Tue 02-Feb-10 00:49:39

no my baby is not an "it"!!!

To my Mother. In many ways you are lovely, but I wish you to know,

I am perfectly bloody capable of juggling 4 under 5's and don't want any help, on the odd occasion I do need help I will tell you, please stop ringing me 20 + times a day you are stressing me out because I spend all my time answering the phone when I would like to spend some quality time with my children.

Just because I don't "work" like my sister does not mean I am not busy!

Also, its ok for children to spend some of their waking day not being constantly stimulated, children need chill time too especially when they are 2 and are used to having a nap. I am not neglecting my children if they have spent a whole 10 minutes in their day not covering things in glitter!

and it is more than slightly mad to time the amount of time you spend with my children so that you can spend the same amount of time with your other grandchildren. No-one else cares. I don't know why you do!

Finally, fgs, your children have grown up and left. Put your husband 1st. He needs you.

Thanks op

MumGoneCrazy Tue 02-Feb-10 00:58:37

To DB - You made the mistake, you did time, im now paying for your mistake, so grow the fk up, act your age (24) and stop doing the same shit over and over again and expecting us not to have something to say about it.

P.S Your girlfriends a bitch we all hate her BUT she's pregnant with your child so stop cheating on her, if you didnt want to be with her anymore why was you having unprotected sex with her angry

You already have one child you cant have contact with and now you've made another, it's the kids i feel for and mam and dad who are now going to be missing out on 2 grandchildren because your a dickhead.

darksideofthemooncup Tue 02-Feb-10 01:21:02

To DB please be a father to your DD, she needs her daddy and moving 250 miles away was the wrong thing to do. Oh and get a job you lazy fucker, you don't have a mysterious 'syndrome' you drink too much and still think you are 25 (when you are really 45).
Mum please stop indulging him, you are nearly 70 he is not your little boy anymore.

CardyMow Tue 02-Feb-10 01:34:13

To DD's sperm donor - asking for a DNA test to get out of paying maintenance is NOT a good idea to try to endear yourself to your almost 12yo daughter. Despite me having spent this long telling her a bucket full of crap nice things about you, she now sees through you and never wants to speak to you on the phone again, let alone see you. Well Done.

To Ex-H - If your 7yo son is wanting his hair long, it does not make him gay, and does not give you the right to mortally upset him by shaving it all off, it just means that I have to deal with a very upset 7yo who now wants me to buy him a wig. If you don't want your new baby to get nits, then try TREATING your 4yo stepson's hair fgs.

To DP - If you keep insisting on moaning/crying/shouting about all your problems, and they are depressing you, then try to get up and do something about them, I have tried to help, but I cannot march you into your GP's surgery and make you tell him the truth about how depressed you are.

To my mother - I will NOT forget the things you put me through as a child. Pretending that things didn't happen does NOT mean that you can erase history. The reason you will never be allowed unsupervised access to my children is because you can't be trusted not to get drunk for even a 6 hour period. You are my only living parent, and I will make allowances for what has happened to you in the past, but seriously, it was 20 years ago, and things just as bad happened to me, so get over it already. You do not have to be miserable forever just because a BAD THING happened a long time ago. And you do not have to blame me either, when I was only 5 years old at the time.

Gosh, that really IS rather cathartic!

CardyMow Tue 02-Feb-10 01:40:33

As an addendum - MIL - While I accept that you were expecting your precious baby boy to live with you forever, and that the real world was far too nasty a place for him, and I was damaged goods when I met him because I already had DD, Even he feels that 32 was more than old enough to move out. And I did NOT steal your baby from you. It is ME who nags him to phone you/visit you/ take DS2 to visit you. Despite all the many ways you have tried to upset me, I will not let you split us up again. I DO feed him well, I do look after his health, I am just not as much of a neurotic hypochondriac as you. If he is genuinely ill (which a little sniffle does not count as when you are a father and 35 years old), I will send him to the doctor. Ignoring my other 2 children because they are not your blood relations is unkind, narrow minded and hurtful to them. They notice this. Please desist.

DP-No it's not acceptable to let DD2 fall asleep at 6:30pm without any tea cos you have a cold and couldn't be arsed. She WILL wake up at midnight feeling hungry and will demand food, and I will not be very happy. You wanker!

MumGoneCrazy Tue 02-Feb-10 01:45:34

Loudlass - for a moment there i thought we had the same MIL grin

Lovecat Tue 02-Feb-10 07:13:07

To the world at large - No we are not having any more children, I am forty-fucking-three and going through early menopause, plus it took us 10 years, £9k and 2 failed IVF/ICSI attempts to get DD so WTF makes you think you can tell me 'oh, you should have another, it's not fair on DD' when you know NOTHING of our circs???

SIL - I am not the same size as you, you deluded bint, so stop trying to give me your clothes you don't want anymore. We already have a tent. Oh, and your 'baby' is now 9. Stop spoiling him to the detriment of your other, lovely, children and making excuses for his ridiculously spoilt, aggressive behaviour in and out of school because he was 2 months premature. Yes, I know it was awful at the time but don't you think he might have caught up by now?

Dear friend - I know you lurrrve your new man so much and he lurrrves you but please can you keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes to I can talk to you or him alone(and given he was my friend first and there are issues I sometimes need to discuss with him without you hanging off his neck it really pisses me off!)? And no, I don't want to hear how good he is in bed.

Mum - I am never going to forgive you for lying to my lovely maths teacher telling him I was afraid of him when it was actually my dad I was terrified of and was making me physically sick every monday morning in anticipation of failing the friday maths test and beign kept in after school. You made me out to be an idiot, really upset and confused my lovely teacher and denied my feelings/your bloody awful husband. I'm still pissed off that you're still defending him and making me and my sister out to be liars even now.

Brother - for christ's sake, wash! You smell and it's fucking unpleasant! Cut your hair, take some exercise and get a bloody job - and eat some fucking vegetables, move out from home and stand on your own two feet, you are FORTY FIVE and the world does not owe you a living! Just because mum humours your 'I have a degree, I can't possibly do anything other than a managerial role' stance doesn't mean anyone else will and if she keels over from the stress of managing Dad's alzheimers you are up shit creek, mate, because my sister will sell that house from under you in a new york minute to get her share!

Oh, and DH - stop smoking in the house. I don't care if it is only in one room (which it isn't, you childish fucking LIAR, I know you smoke in hte downstairs loo, fag butts don't flush and the smell is disgusting!) with the window open, it STINKS and so do you, and if you had any thoughtfulness in you at all for myself or DD you would stop it but no, you enjoy it, so we can all cough uncontrollably but that's got nothign to do with it, has it?, because despite being an intelligent man your head is so far up your arse on this matter you won't entertain any evidence about the harm it does. You always have a counter defence or else get aggressive or go into sheer denial and it drives me INSANE! Also you seem to think it's okay to sneak off for a fag while leaving DD to her own devices and then act surprised when she falls off the furniture.

Oh, and getting up with her on Saturday so I can have a lie in is lovely, but why can't you dress or feed her? Why do i come downstairs and find you snoring on the sofa with Spongebob blarign while she's running round in nothing but a vest complaining she's hungry?

Coo, that was cathartic!

racmac Tue 02-Feb-10 07:32:35

SIL - you are a stupid thoughtless bitch and i hate you but i will keep playing the game and pretending we are best buddies even though you made a crap excuse not to come to our wedding party and cant even remember. Stop telling my fucking kids off - they have a mother and father to do that.

MOTHER - you are turning into your dad please stop with the narrow minded bitchy comments about anybody that is slightly different to you

DH - stop fucking moping round the house yes i know that you had a bad weekend but it is not my fucking fault - snap out of it and start making an effort with people and why we are on the subject - you are a complete knob when you have had a drink - no wonder no one wants to talk to you aarrrgghhh

mablemurple Tue 02-Feb-10 07:52:10

kitkatqueen - "but you have multiple others to do so much for that its very hard to sort your own problems out" can be true for the child free too!

BTW, I am a parent.

ssd Tue 02-Feb-10 08:11:16

ds and db, no mum isn't "fine". she's 82, needs a lot more care, isn't coping anymore, has become withdrawn and depressed and relies on me far too much and I'm stressed to high heaven with it all. don't tell me you'll visit soon when you've got no bloody intention, I've given up on soon long ago. I wish you'd both never been my siblings, I'd have been better off being an only child, them I wouldn't have expected any small bit of support with my mum. just fuck off the both of you.

ssd Tue 02-Feb-10 08:15:04

and BTW, quit calling me darling when I do actually speak on the phone, its so effin patronising, I'm the one who looks after your mum, holds her hand when she's getting rectal examinations, cleans up her sick clothes, then you call me darling and patronise me just because I'm the youngest, I'm also the most responsible one in the family doing all the shit and leaving you two to your "busy" lives, stop thinking I'm still a 21 yr old gadding about, I'm 44 with 2 small kids and an old mum and absolutely no help in between with either of them so piss off with the "darling" will you.

Bucharest Tue 02-Feb-10 08:25:24

Dear MIL,

I hate myself for it, but I swear to God I will dance on your grave when the time comes for what you did to me. And your children, through their crocodile tears, will feel liberated finally. You have wasted your life in bitterness and regrets and tried to live it through bullying everyone around you. I could maybe feel sorry for you, because you are have to be the most damaged, fucked up person I have ever had the misfortune to meet, but I can't.

Dear upstairs neighbours. No, 4am is not a sensible time to put the fucking washing machine on.

Next door neighbours. You have marble floors. Take your fucking heels off.

Best friend- I think you may have Munchhausen's by Proxy. Get help and stop taking your children to the doctor's. By the way, someone who knows has told me your doctor's kids are in psychiatric care for the way they've been brought up. Think about it.

Goodadvice1980 Tue 02-Feb-10 08:27:20

To all the emotional vampires in my life, here is a New Year message ....

"Good morning, how may I best dispense with you today?"


TrippleBerryFairy Tue 02-Feb-10 08:30:06

friend, stop bloody phoning me at 7.40am just before getting into work just because I mentioned I get up that early. I do not want to listen to your drivel and I am NOT going to pick up my phone until you get the hint!

same friend, stop asking me to edit your assignments - they are your business not mine and if you can't write then maybe you should be taking English lessons instead of studying.

same friend, stop phoning me 5 times a day and stop giving me detailed account of your day - I don't have time to listen to all that!

Oh fucking lodger, just fuck off and get out of my face, no, I don't give a sh* how your night at work was! You stupid twat and alcoholic and I cannot stand you. I am sick of you.

MIL, you are a nice woman but please don't lift your skirt to show me the warm tights you're wearing... And I don't need to see your back teeth that need fixing. Please.

maristella Tue 02-Feb-10 08:32:06

to my former friend: you stabbed me in the back when i was at my most vulnerable, you decided that you deserved better than our friendship, you kicked me when i was down.
kindly stop trying to wheadle your way back into my life. i do not like or trust you in the slightest. i have absolutely no desire to stand up for you when you piss people off with your nasty attitude, so don't ask me to. i laugh every time you create yet more social problems for yourself by being a very unpleasant person, i laugh because you cannot manage your tenancy because your housing manager will not give you the 'respect you deserve', i laughed my ass off when you caught an std from your latest loser. i'm not laughing about the way you fail your dc, and blame the world and his wife for their behavioural problems, the problems exist as a direct result of being dragged up by you.
now keep your shit away from me!

i enjoyed that!!

sarah293 Tue 02-Feb-10 08:40:16

dear in-laws, no I don't want to hear about your endless weekends away and holidays. And then you telling me you are broke. We haven't been on holiday for 10 years and are never likely to go again because of caring for dd. Its tactless and painful.
To people out and about. No, there is nothing wrong with my dd. She has cerebral palsy. Please stop asking what is wrong. You think its just you but I've just had 15 of the same enquiries.
And those who stare. We are not the entertainment. Unpeel your eyes.

timelordvictorious Tue 02-Feb-10 08:44:53

Mum, we don't ask you to babysit because you are a drunk. That's right, until you can prove that you can spend a day without a drink you will never be left in sole charge of my daughter.

And even though I pretend everything is fine between us, just thinking if you and the way you behave makes me angry.

Bloke. I love you. Utterly, desperately, completely. When you go away it terrifies me in a way I can't admit to myself, let alone you.

tabbycat7 Tue 02-Feb-10 08:46:43

Dear older people who do not have 3 kids under 5:
Quit telling me that it's "alright" that I "only" have to get up once in the night to feed DS3!! I don't just wake up once but umpteen times you stupid people - bad dreams, cold, poorly, lost dummies, lost teddies, snoring etc etc. And don't tell me it doesn't matter if DS3 has a 3 hour screaming fit in the evening or won't sleep much in the day beceause he sleeps relatively well at night.YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TIRED I AM!!!! And I do not care about how many times other people are up in the night when they have less kids and people running round after them. I COPE BECAUSE I'M NOT A LOSER OR A DRAMA QUEEN SO LEAVE ME ALONE UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO EAT YOU!!


sarah293 Tue 02-Feb-10 08:47:00

Dear Dave, you promised to come visit me in front of the whole of mumsnet, no I don't want a phone call from Anne Milton, I want you to keep your darn promise.

sarah293 Tue 02-Feb-10 08:49:19

the next person who tells me special children are born to special parents is getting a thump. I am more exhasuted than you will ever know and unlike you, my child will never grow up and leave home so I have nothing to look forward to either. Its shit not special.

MitsubishiWarrioress Tue 02-Feb-10 08:51:08

I miss you. Badly. It hurts sometimes and I am trying to be OK about it. But I think of you loads and hope I never embarrass you.
I wish I'd had the courage to reach out, but am just not sure of myself enough.
I dream of you......
Always wishing you well........ xx

mummyflood Tue 02-Feb-10 08:52:27

DH; I have opinions and beliefs of my own. Just because they don't conveniently fit with your own, and how could they when you keep changing the goal posts, at least show me some respect. And yes, they are MY opinions, not just a continuation of those of whom I may have visited/spoken to.

DS1: 16 you may be, but you are still a CHILD who needs to be parented. You may NOT do/say as you please and expect us to all come running after you a couple of hours later when you think we have forgotten your attitude. You really are your Father's Son!

DM: you made your bed, so lie in it. Just because you choose to live in your depressed bubble, some of us choose to live our lives, you are in the minority most of the time, not the majority with your extreme opinions. Oh and to you both, 'Grandparent' is just a title - needs to be backed up by actions to mean anything.

Friend; you will reap what you sow. Take a look at your kids, what they are getting up to, and try to get a grip rather than being 'cool mum'. You're not actually being cool, you're just being lazy. I think you are just pushing buttons, and you will realise what you should have done when it's too late.

Grrrr! grin

sarah293 Tue 02-Feb-10 08:54:11

this is all very carthartic
Dear dd1, you broke my heart when you ran away and I miss you every single minute. We will never get those years back. I wish we could rewind it all.
Dear dd2. I am so so sorry I insisted on a homebirth and damaged your brain. I will never forgive myself and I don't know what I'm going to say should you ever ask. If you ever can.
Dear MIL, no dd isn't better off dead just because you think walking is the epitime of existance. Good luck with your Exit membership. Can I be first in the queue to help?

mummyflood Tue 02-Feb-10 08:56:48

Dear DS2 - we will always be here for you no matter what, but we want you to stand on your own two feet so you have the best life possible. Please find some confidence in yourself to reach out for what you want. You are a brilliant lad who is going to be the most amazing young man. We are inspired by you.

RonaldMcDonald Tue 02-Feb-10 09:01:21

no, I will not get my children christened as a I don't beleive in God
b I don't attend church
c It's none of your business

gypsymummy Tue 02-Feb-10 09:04:33

to DH: Sometimes I so HATE your parenting methods -although I don't fully trust mine either- but yours annoy me so much and( many others who have witnessed it by the way)especially cause your attitude reflects the way your father brought you all up and we both know I can't stand your father..growl!Just learn to play with your kids instead of focusing on discilpining them..for pete;s sake they are not eve old enough to dress themselves! i can tell you were never really a child or else why can't you be one with your own children just treat them so rigidly and when i see how other dads play with their sons I feel like banging my head on the wall.. as for DS2 he is totaly invisible to you which makes my blood boil..just because he is a bit more difficult and stubborn does not mean you should give up on him..why do you bloody think they are so attached to me?
to FIL: get alife and stop thinking it is all about you can take your money and Bleep bleep bleep it..we don;t owe you anything and if you can't tell hardly anybody likes you ..they just ca't face you cause you are so darn diplomatic and can't love anybody you just want everyone to be idnebted to you so you can reign them in..well you know that won't work with go jump and don't come bouncing back..

EmiAbi Tue 02-Feb-10 09:09:43

Dearest Friends,

Just because I don't whinge about it doesn't mean my labour wasn't damn hard work.

Just because I don't feel the need to moan constantly about my lack of sleep and how knackered I am doesn't mean I'm not done in.

AND just because I stay at home doesn't mean I don't do anything or have nothing to do!

Wonder Woman is a fictional character!

cory Tue 02-Feb-10 09:10:43

Mother, when I ring you to tell you that dd is school refusing and self harming and that Social Services are involved, what I do not want it is a string of cheery little anecdotes about how my nephews get themselves dressed and out of the door in 5 minutes flat! There are many ways in which you can support me, but this is not one of them. I am pleased that my nephews are such little wonders (no seriously, I do like them). BUT THIS IS NOT THE TIME AND PLACE.

BigBadMummy Tue 02-Feb-10 09:14:21

Dear School

My 3 DCs have been with you since you opened five years. You cost an arm and a leg.

Would you please concentrate on teaching the DCs, not telling them off for:

a) looking at the head teacher in a disrespctful way

b) appearing to be wearing eye liner

c) wearing a scarf that should be navy blue but is, in fact, black.

d) expelling my DS for the most pathetic reason EVER, nine days before the end of term. We promptly removed him and got him into a much better local school where he is thriving.

Maybe if you concentrated on keeping your staff instead of upsetting my DS by giving that class four teachers in a year; or my DD who is now on her third science teacher this term I would be a bit more appreciative.

My DD is doing her GCSEs at the moment and you have caused yet more disruption to her triple science teaching. This is the qualification she needs to get into sixth form college and then to get into Uni for her medical degree and future career.

THe current chemistry teacher has never taught science, but is a DT teacher.

So I am, quite rightly, fucked off.

Oh and I am now paying a tutor an additional £150 month for science tuition at the weekend to try and repair some of the damage your fuckwittery has caused.

Needless to say at Easter notice will be served for removal of other DC.

And as for you Mrs Head I think you are an arrogant, self centred witch.

Needless to say when we do leave I WILL be going back to the national Sunday papers who were interested in interviewing me when the school opened, to do a follow up. I will tell them exactly what I think of your shower of shit school. Let's see what that does for recruitment.

In the meantime, God that felt good.


DB & DP (his not mine) stop acting like twunts, yes you are moving out of mums, you have lived with her rent free/bill free and responsibility free for 3 yrs now. you have stopped her having her grandchildren there, you have smashed up her home in your temper tantrums DB and i have had to hold my tongue. So now you are moving out stop with the pretend guilt, you are both grown men go and act like it. Mum is 63 yrs old she does not deserve the crap you are dishing out to her. if she comes to see me and is 10 minutes later home than she said so fucking what she is an adult, and is allowed out. You need to realise that she is not reliant on you but you on her. Mum asking you to buy her one pot of paint out of your decorating allowance is not a crime, think of all she has done for you both and just buy it, it would mean a lot ffs.

Dsis, me moving out of london because i want a better life for my 2 ds's does not mean i am walking away from you and my nephews. I have told you to look into moving as well. Your DS's deserve more as well, and saying i still need to work to live the way i am used to is crap. Tell your DH to stop buying xbox, wii,psp,ds games every month and start contributing to the household. Also while we are on the subject tell your DH that letting your 9yr old watch lee evans and other adult dvds is not funny, it is disgusting!!!
Also Dsis, While you can find your way to your mil who has ignored you for 6 yrs until last yr just before xmas please remember your own mum, she needs you as well. If i was not moving with her she would have nobody. You only want mum when you need someone to look after your DS's, yes she enjoys spending time with them but not when the youngest is calling her stupid FFS, he is 6 stop it now. Mum is too old to be at your home by 7.30am to look after your children, between you and your DH you need to sort your jobs out or pay someone to look after them, mum works as well so her weekends/holidays are just as important to her.

DP get your butt out of bed and lets do something arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ahhh thats much better!!

kinnies Tue 02-Feb-10 10:24:27

Dear Mum,
You are a selfish cow and always have been.
You didnt let me have a childhood and put your abusive BF before me and my sis.
Your twisted forms of emotional abuse are shocking to those whom I confide in and in the lats few years I have seen you for the wast of space you are.
Stop trying to get symathy from my nan & grandad. They are totaly supportive of me and after I shared a few highlights of your twatishnes, couldnt give a sh1t about you and your self pittying tripe.

Dear sis,
You are about to have your first baby.
I wish you all the best.
I feel bad that whilst I really do wish you well, I cant help thinking that it would be good if you realised now how bloody horrid it was to have you and your Dh being arseholes to me just 10 hours after I had given birth to Dd.
You are not a nice person so I have no contact with you.
I hope you manage to stop being a bitch and bring up your child well.

Needed that!

LilyLovesSid Tue 02-Feb-10 10:28:52

Thought of some more..

FIL - I am totally and utterly fucked off with you for dying.

You were a waste of space when you were alive, blaming everybody else in the world for your alcoholism and making your kids lives hell. You hurt your kids more then I ever thought possible, and even when you had the chance to rebuild what you had broken you had to fuck it up by celebrating 3 weeks of sobriety by getting wankered.

You slagged me off to all and sundry, accusing me of stopping you seeing your grandchild. The reality is you were so pissed you forgot you had a grandaughter until you saw me at a football match with DD1 when she was 3 months old, and then you only poked your head under the raincover on the pushchair, said hello then staggered off. So yes, I did stop you seeing her. It's not my fault you were never sober enough to hold your grandchild.

And then you died. And my DP had to find out by being told by your neighbour that you'd been carried out in a bag. No-one knew you had died until the police broke in after complaints about the smell. So know my DP and his siblings have to live with the guilt, wondering whether they could have saved you if they'd just gone to visit you over the weekend. No-one could have saved you. You drank yourself into your grave, no-one forced you into it.

MIL - I will never forgive you for making me tell your children that their father had died. And to not go and hold them as they cried was even more unforgivable. You truly are a cold bitch.

You know who you are - Believe me, I will never, ever forget what you said during our heated phone conversation. And driving up to yours and beating the everloving shit out of you is always an option. I would happily do time for you sweetheart.


MrsBrendanCole Tue 02-Feb-10 11:02:18

DB - Sort your head out and if i find out you are lying again, i will punch you.

Mum - I love you.

Dad - SHE will never be my stepmum and you've changed sooo much since you've been with her. I dont like it.

DH - I do love you but you are rather annoying at times.

DS - I love you more than words can say and if it turns out you have autism, then nothing will change my darling.

L - Im confused, leave me be. Let me make my own decisions.

J - Not one day has past when my feelings for you have changed, I wish i could tell you that.

Cousin - i dont want to be your bridesmaid now you spoit, selfish little bitch!

That was good.

MrsBrendanCole Tue 02-Feb-10 11:05:22

Nan - i miss you more each day and i wish you were here right now. I need you. We all need and miss and love you so much.

slug Tue 02-Feb-10 11:21:08

Students - You are intelligent. You are at one of the best universities in the country. So how difficult is it to read your emails!! Don't come complaining to me that you have been cut off from online resources. You have been notified multiple times that this will happen. You have been told how to rectify this. I've told you, Registry have told you, your tutors have told you, everyone has told you!! You manage to send emails. I do you the courtesy of reading and responding to what you've written. Please do me the courtesy of reading what I and everyone else has written to you. (and writing in intelligable English would help too) <<and.......breathe...>

Jon- You drink too much

Ohforfoxsake Tue 02-Feb-10 11:21:39

Dear Mum

Your four grandchildren are fine. (Though they do ask when they can come and visit you).

My wedding plans are really coming on. Dress and shoes bought, venue booked, decorations sorted. Invites going out soon.

We've put an offer in and moving to another part of the country. Do you want to see the house details? Do you like it?

I'm OK.

Thanks for asking.

I suppose I'll see you at the wedding?

Would you please be my mum and treat me like a daughter? Would you please acknowledge me and my life? You have 3 daughters you know. And four grandchildren, not just DSis2's first due in a few weeks. They want you to be part of their lives. Why won't you? Why don't you call and ask how they are? Why the fuck don't you care?

I don't know what to say about you in my wedding speech. Thanks ... for what? For all your support? your help? I can thank DPs family. I can thank my DSis1. I can thank my friends. What do I say about you? Thanks for being there on the day, when you really didn't particularly want to be?

bollocks, that's opened a can of worms

changequick1 Tue 02-Feb-10 11:25:03

I do love you, but I'm really scared because you've hurt me in the past and I'm worried about what will happen if I do step into anything more.
You are very special to me. I wish I could talk to you about it, but I'm worried that it will ruin everything.
Please don't think that I don't feel anything, I'm just confused I guess.

ChrisBigginsFagHag Tue 02-Feb-10 11:30:24

Dear dad

You have torn my world apart by finally confessing recently that last year you were convicted for possession of child pornography.

You are about to be sentenced and will probably go to prison.

I don't know how I will tell the rest of my family, my friends who all know you, some of whom are friends on your FB profile.

You promise it was only ever on the internet and did not involve the children and I believe you but will my friends?

For that, I hate you.

I hate that I cannot talk about this in RL. That I cannot tell friends what is wrong when they ask me why I am so quiet.

And what will tell the children when their grandfather "vanishes" for maybe months or a year. What will I tell their schools? Will you be allowed to see them when you come out? You have signed the Sex Offenders Register so you cannot do school runs for me anymore.

You didnt think about any of this, did you?

I love you as my dad, but right now as a human being I hate you.

McSnail Tue 02-Feb-10 11:33:21

After reading all these, I find that I have nothing to complain about.

Not really.

babyicebean Tue 02-Feb-10 11:45:41

S - What are you a YoYo?Either leave him or don't.He is a knob but then so are you.Why is it not ok for him to go out but it is for you?Constantly leaving to go to your mothers is irratating.He will not leave as he knows you will be back.

M - Your children do not have problems, they are the problem.

P - Your daughter is not 'lively and spirited' she is a spoilt brat who has worked out stropping will get her what she wants.And if she speaks to mine like that again I will wash out her mouth with soap.

Youngest child - STOP LICKING MY SHIN

Dear mum of dd's friend; please clean your house, it's revolting and it's why my kids don't play with yours anymore..... and stop treating your newborn like a toy and try actually giving her some love and affection. Being a young mum doesn't give you the right to behave like an 8 year old girl playing 'mummies and daddies' with her dolls. You're an unpleasant, gossipy, childish person and my heart breaks for your neglected kids as they haven't got a chance in hell with a mother like you sad

Dear parents; no dd is not the best grandchild you have, she's not cleverer and prettier and more fabulous than her brothers... to be perfectly honest she's the exact opposite of all those things. ds1 adores ye and gives ye so much more love yet ye openly favour her and upset him so badly sad and soon it'll be the same with ds2 as he'll start to notice that she's loved more than him

dp's family; you utter fucking selfish horrible knobs....... get your heads out of your arses and show a fucking interest. BOL.... you have two nephews you've never even met and a niece you haven't since since her christening..... you do remember being godfather right? I know it was an inconvenience to you and all but you did fucking agree to do it so maybe you could SHOW A FUCKING INTEREST YOU ARSE.... your friends won't fall off the face of the earth if you miss one night out with them to visit you family, your niece and nephews don't even know who you are fgs! And FOL..... you drunk old git..... you've wasted your entire life and phychologically damaged your own kids with your abuse and drunken ranting.... if you set foot in my house drunk one more time i'll kick you into next week you arsehole and dp won't be inclined to stop me after everything you've done to him!

arolf Tue 02-Feb-10 11:53:01

dear DS,
please try and feed with your mouth, not your fingernails. my nipples are not amused, even if your dad is.

dear sis1,
yes I'm tired, I have a 4 month old. expecting me to visit you when he was 10 weeks old so you could meet him was beyond selfish. especially since you have spent the last 4 months driving up and down the country for your new dull boyfriend - 1 day trip to meet your nephew would not have killed you. and bleating on about how hard your life is because you only get 2 days off a week does not endear you to anyone. it's called being an adult. oh, and by not coming to my wedding, you are making yourself look foolish, not me. 7 months notice is fine, stop your bloody whinging. and stop telling me I have PND because your nasty accusations made me cry. and if you mention weaning DS off the breast soon so he doesn't get spoilt ONE MORE TIME i'm going to spray you in the face with my milk.

dear dsis2 and dbro - get a job. that's how you make money. seriously, mum and dad are not made of money. you're 22 and 20, grow up a bit. and dsis2 - you are a very talented artist, yes, but until you sell a piece of work, you're not really running your own business, are you?

(and breathe)

mummybegood Tue 02-Feb-10 12:05:47

Thought this would be a nice thread to get everything of our chest. I've been reading all the threads and laughed,cried some of them has really touched me and our very sad sometimes it helps to share a thought,problem I hope I helped only sorry I cant put it all right sadthank you everyone .xx

DontWantToEmbarrassDD Tue 02-Feb-10 12:10:04

Stop messing about wasting time and clean your house you messy parent. Why should your kids have to be embarrassed by your laziness?

trefusis Tue 02-Feb-10 12:16:28

Dear sis2

Despite the fact that you've now convinced our 80-yr-old mother with your martyred, heartbroken act, I'm still never going to want to "sort out our relationship". In the five years since we were last in touch, I've realised that - not only do I not miss you - but I still feel relieved not to have you in my life any more. Not having to be involved with you any more means that it was almost worth going through all the upset you caused everyone. If it had just been me you upset, it would have been worth it. But it was also my children, you nasty, selfish bitch.

The emotional blackmail through Mum won't work, because deep down she does understand. I don't care that you've now cast me as the baddie. In fact, if you push me, it's a role that I will adopt with relish.

MollyRoger Tue 02-Feb-10 12:19:12

to my 'friend':
I know everyone needs to let off steam in their work, but why the fug did you train to be a teacher if you hate children so much? You can't pick and choose just the 'good' ones, so get over it. My child is one of the annoying ones with SEN who mess up your results and need extra help. You blame the parents...well how can we continue to have a friendship with attitudes like this? Oh but of course, you're not talking about children like ds, just those 'other' children. Get some empathy. And god forbid, when your dc starts school that she has a problem....

cheeset Tue 02-Feb-10 12:19:48

Cousin. I will never forgive you for saying NO to me & my little girl attending your wedding.
I tried to get a sitter organised for your wedding; i managed to get one for DS but couldn't for DD 2 at that time.

You are my age, we grew up together, I saw you every day and out of all the cousins (many) your wedding was the one I most wanted to attend-to see you'd finally settled down with a nice man.

I spoke to you the day before the wedding and I tried to make out I was cool with it being as it was YOUR DAY.

When I was finally forced to attended the evening doo by the family, you came up to me and said 'Sorry, I couldn't have any old fucker turing up at my wedding'

Let me tell you, I'm not any old fucker, I loved you and that hurt SO much I spent that day in a haze on my own as ALL our family were at your f**king wedding.

When my mum linked both our arms at a family birthday a couple of years ago in an attempt to heal the rift, I could have smacked you in the mouth.

I will never be your cousin again and to the family who keep bloody suggesting you as a friend on facebook, STOP!

mosschops30 Tue 02-Feb-10 12:22:12

ooh i do enjoy these threads

dear mumn

I now realise that you are a narcisist and that youre behaviour is not normal. I am enjoying keeping you at arms length because it makes my life a much easier ride.
You are possibly the most selfish person ive ever met. I will never tell you this but I will never forgive you for the way you treated my father through his illness, and yes I do blame you, and yes you are lonely now after dreaming of being alone for so long, and yes you did have it really good and now youre in the shit!

Thankfully my dh and dcs are beautiful and well rounded and I will never EVER become you

MollyRoger Tue 02-Feb-10 12:24:03

to my father.
Go and look up Unconditional love.
Now, if you can tell me what your grandchildren are called, their birth dates and one, just one, simple fact about them - favourtie food/colour anything then I might consider getting back in touch with you. Is that a bit tricky, given you haven't bothered to see them in 12 years? Let's try an easier question, shall we?
My favourtie colour? Fave book? Food? Music? Anything??
Ah thought not.
Oh. And let's not forget, it wasn't ME who emigrated to another country and didn't tell YOU, now was it? so don't get all martyrd with the ''my daughter never contacts me' crap. Your decision.
Now please don't ring me again. I have a life. And,a perfectly lovely step dad.
you are surplus to requirements. off you fuck.

MollyRoger Tue 02-Feb-10 12:25:07

Damn. That felt GOOD!

cheeset Tue 02-Feb-10 12:29:00

MollyRoger 'off you fuck' Love that!grin

VinegarTits Tue 02-Feb-10 12:32:38

Dear sexy work collegue, please noticed me and ask me out so we can begin to have rampant sex on a regular basis (even if i am 10 years older than you)

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion Tue 02-Feb-10 12:36:41

Dear SIL.

You have one child who you only look after on your own for two days a week. You don't work and have no money troubles. You have a beautiful home and a family who are incredibly supportive and love you very much.


It is insulting, depressing and really bloody irritating.

Thank you.

bonkerz Tue 02-Feb-10 12:44:39

DEAR MUM....I miss you, nearly 5 years now and it still hurts.

DEAR DH.....I work too...what gives you more right to have lie ins than me? Im feeling neglected and low right now and you are failing to support me yet you expect support!

DEAR BOSS....i need that £300 that was put in the work account back in OCT, its MY money not yours and I NEED IT please GIVE IT BACK.

DEAR DCs...i feel like im failing you, im working, studying and trying to do everything and feel like im failing miserably, i promise to address this balance and spend more time with you!

serajen Tue 02-Feb-10 12:48:09

Dear ex, father of my daughter

Why, why, why did you never develop a conscience and help me with our child, why did I allow you to get away with the £20 a month CSA 'awarded' me as you convinced them you earned so little when I know you were wealthy, why didn't I seek legal help, when I was living in that tower block, scared, alone, working full-time with our little girl in a lovely nursery, she was fine and I kept the facade going, but struggling forever and still am now and house on its way to being repossessed, climbed out of the sink estate, it was tough, have such a demanding job but underneath I'm in bits, why did you believe it was ok not to help in any way

curryfreak Tue 02-Feb-10 12:55:41

Everyone who has a facebook,- get a life and some real friends!

VinegarTits Tue 02-Feb-10 12:56:46

fuckoff curryfreak

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion Tue 02-Feb-10 12:56:47

Curryfreak that is a ridiculous thing to say when you are posting on Mumsnet. Crazy person.

Igglybuff Tue 02-Feb-10 12:58:52

Dear FIL. Stop making those bloody crazy frog type noises at DS to get his attention. He's a baby not a frigging horse.

Dear MIL. If DS cries when you're holding him, he's hungry or tired like I said. He's not "rejecting" you FFS. He's only 4 months old, Christ alive!

Dear Mum, I will never bring my DS to visit you for the simple reason that your fuckwit husband is a violent angry man. Look at your hand, you're missing part of your finger because of him. My half brother and sister are messed up because of you not leaving him. Also my sister has (I suspect) fetal alcohol syndrome because of you.

Dear Mum's husband, I hate you. You're a violent coward.

Wow that felt good grin

pooexplosions Tue 02-Feb-10 12:59:25

people who slag off facebook can all go fuck themselves.
(and have you thought that people talk to their real friends on facebook? Moron)

totalmadness Tue 02-Feb-10 12:59:40

Dm - your life isn't how u want it I kno but it's not my fault. And no you can't hijack mine. It maybe your dream to live next door to us but it isn't ours. You can't do everything yourself, this isn't your fault but you need to accept it. Living on your own isn't healthy, safe or clean, your cleanliness is the reason we don't offer to let you hold the baby as much as you'd like. Also stop phoning and leaving a great long pause before saying 'it's me' I have ab iPhone I know it's you.

One more thing STOP commenting on everything I put on facebook I'm not putting stuff up for your enjoyment.

Mil it's fabulous you live in Canada with your wife and sil and have made your new lives there but don't forget you have a son back here and 3 grandchildren.

Dh I want a car, I don't care if it is more than we can afford i'm fed up of the bloody buses.

Cor blimey that's good

curryfreak Tue 02-Feb-10 13:00:42

Ah, but royalty, I have some real friends. That's why I dont spend all my time posting on here!

VinegarTits Tue 02-Feb-10 13:02:01

dear xprick get a job and start talking some finacial resposibility for your son, oh and 'my gf has dumped me' is not a good excuse to stop seeing your son at weekends, arsehole

RoyaltyIsMyOnlyDelusion Tue 02-Feb-10 13:02:21


<backs away from shit stirrer crazy person>

SleepingLion Tue 02-Feb-10 13:04:34

Dear certain U6 students

I don't know how to say this in any other way: I have tried being reasonable and logical and calm but it's clearly not working so here goes:

YOU WILL NOT GET AN A GRADE JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT ONE. If you want a good grade, get off your lazy fucking arses and work for it! The world does not owe you anything and your smug sense of entitlement makes me rage inside.

VinegarTits Tue 02-Feb-10 13:04:57

so people who post on here and have fb accounts dont have 'real' friends then curryfreak? how did you come to that conclusion einstein?

Not the hottest chilli in the currypot are you dear

coolma Tue 02-Feb-10 13:07:01

To my ex 'best' friend: 'e mailing me and telling me that you no longer felt you could 'deal' with my mental breakdown when I was slap bang in the middle of it and patronisingly saying I was 'in denial' about my drinking was probably the most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to me. I wish I hadn't wasted three years of my life dropping everything when you 'needed' me in the midst of your pathetic little traumas. Added to which I really don't think it was very nice of you to tell other friends that I was manipulative and nasty when I was actually very unwell. As someone who professed to have had alcohol problems and mental health issues yourself, I will never understand how you could have been so vile. I would like you to know that I have been 'dry' since last January, have got an amazing job now and am extremely happy. Unlike you, whose mummy has put everything in your spoiled little lap, we have used our own money and seriously hard work to purchase our house cars and lifestyle. I wish I could say I wish you no ill, but actually I do.'

bonkerz Tue 02-Feb-10 13:08:27

DEAR INTERNET FORUM POSTER CURRY PERSON.....just cos i spend time posting on facebook and MN does not mean i have no RL friends, It does however mean that i can keep in contact with these RL friends when there is just no time to actually meet up! it take minutes to post on FB and MN and atleast shows i still care and think of my RL friends, i have minutes to post between hoovering, cooking, working, studying, shopping, looking after DCs....i dont have hours to meet up every day and drink coffee!

curryfreak Tue 02-Feb-10 13:09:05

Did I hit a nerve vinegartits?

Some of these posts are so sad.
The OP said "To want to say what I really feel..." I really feel so damn lucky that I have grown up with relatively few problems, I love the fact that I get on very well with my family, my 2 sisters are quite literally my best friends. My DS is such a polite, smart, funny, beautiful little boy. My DD is an absolute angel and I dont care if she wakes in the night for a feed, she is only 7 weeks old for christs sake and no she wont need to be weaned earlier!
I feel so lucky to have a wonderful husband that put up with my depression and drinking problems when we were first married. He is quite literally my life.

I havent wrote these things to be smug. I really do feel those things. Im most likely still in my postnatal blissed out hormones phase, so ask me in a few months time when DD is teething, DS has grown bored of his new sister and DH is doing loads of overtime and im sick of being cooped up in home all day!! grin

Igglybuff Tue 02-Feb-10 13:11:39

curryfreak what's wrong with facebook?

To those who slag off facebook, get over yourselves.

I am BORED. Bored of worrying about money, bored of trying new things to get my business making money again,bored of tying myself up in knots about what people want/don't want when they come here. Bored of worrying about leaky roofs and peeling paint and blocked gutters.

But most of all I am bored with trying to pretend to all my staff and customers that I am the most enthusiastic and motivated person here.

Kaloki Tue 02-Feb-10 13:12:40

Dear best friend of 10 years, fiance, brother et al,

As I have you on facebook you are only imaginary friends, curryfreak says so.

Note to self... Must leave message to all my friends on facebook informing them that I am not real... I am in fact a robot.

VinegarTits Tue 02-Feb-10 13:22:41

<pats curryfreak on the head>

Why dont you go and play with your real friends dear

maristella Tue 02-Feb-10 13:26:34

good one bonkerz and kaloki

DuelingFanjo Tue 02-Feb-10 13:29:48

Although I appreciate it's neccesary I really hate the fact that you have to prep me for every pregnancy announcement from your friends. It doesn't stop it from hurting, and knowing that people are talking about how to handle me makes it all so much worse.

elmofan Tue 02-Feb-10 13:36:52

stop popping in whenever it suits you & staying for four hours at a time , even when i am in the middle of dishing up dinner , & have me chasing around after your dd while you relax .

Lancelottie Tue 02-Feb-10 13:39:13

do I know you? blush
DD is lovely really...

elmofan Tue 02-Feb-10 13:48:47

grin lancelottie .

Undutchable Tue 02-Feb-10 13:50:02

Dsis. I would never admit it in public, but was very sad you told everyone about my son's premature arrival on (I'm tempted not to say it) Facebook. I love FB and it's great, but <random girl who I don't like that much> saw it first and told some of my 'real' friends. That was a bit shite.

Ex-F. Everyone knows what you're like. You're fooling no-one. On a one-to-one basis you're fab company so why be such a bitch? I'm fairly hard to make enemies of, but you managed it. Think about it. Oh and you drink way too much, and if you want a second IVF baby at over 40 years old after numerous attempts for the first one, you need all the help you can get. And no-one cares what your husband earns - he's a nasty piece of work too.

That feels better. Thank you.

Peabody Tue 02-Feb-10 13:54:53

To my friend:

Stop comparing your life to other people's. Stop saying 'If only I had...'. You think that everyone else's problems are easy and you have such a hard life. You don't. You have an easy life, but you find it easier to moan about how unfortunate you are than address any of your many issues. Take some responsibility for your own happiness.

Oh, and by the way. I appreciate that I am never allowed to moan about anything in my life because I am so lucky compared to you. But you know what? it's not that easy having two small children and an evening job. In fact, my love, YOU COULDN'T COPE WITH MY LIFE, YOU MOANER.

You know, I do feel better!

Parents of kids I mind pick up time is pick up time not time to sit your fat arse on my sofa and tell me the woes of your "hard" day at the office where you do a shitty job that I used to do and could still do with my hands tied behind my back and who are you trying to kid? You havn`t lost 4 pounds let along 4 stone you fat slob.
DH please please please stop coming in from work and moaning at the noise the kids make after 15mins. WE have 4 and yes they make a noise but I listen to it a lot longer than you and I also work. Maybe from home but IT is a job and no it doesn`t mean that I get paid for doing housework. THAT happens later when my working day has finished BUT I dont get to just sit and do sweet FA for the rest of the evening like you do. And yes it does bother me when you book a Saturday off work so you can go out with BIL and nephew and not spend it with your own DC.
PIL yes it does piss me off when XMAS and BIRTHDAY pressies are not here for my kids on their BIRTHDAYS and Xmas. sort it out!!!!!!
God I feel so much better now!

Oh and girl from school who I havn`t seen for 20 years but swapped an email or 2 with via FB STOP contacting my hubby and friends who you dont know and asking them for my number. You have a fucking nerve. If I wanted to get in contact again I would e-mail you. Leave alone you freaky stalker!!!

MitsubishiWarrioress Tue 02-Feb-10 14:30:44


The reason I walk and live and breathe is because for some reason, you managed to get me to listen and do what was best.

I never ever forget, and though the last few years have been a nightmare that I wouldn't have believed possible, there is always something at the back of it all that reminds me that there is so so much to live for.

And on my darkest, loneliest and saddest days, it will always be the thing that kicks me in the butt and finds another reason, however small, to keep on keeping on. It is like swimming up from deep deep water and hitting the surface and taking big gulps of air, it gets heady
but it is always the best breath of the day.

If it seems that in 17 or so years I have not done anything extraordinary with the chance that I got, then forgive me. I am not or ever was, an extraordinary girl, I won't climb mountains, or swim the channel (well....who knows on that!), but in my quiet way, I try to do justice to the amazing opportunity that I believe being on this gorgeous planet really is.

So in the mizzly rain, chilly and grey, I saw the sun peep through the clouds briefly and bathe the hill tops for a moment in a pale golden glow...and that was good enough for me.

I will paint and sing, I will run and cycle, I will cry and laugh, I will always love, but I will never forget..


cyteen Tue 02-Feb-10 14:31:49

Best friend's boyfriend: it's sad that you feel threatened enough by our longstanding friendship to act the twat toward us both during the first weekend we've spent together in ages. You looked like a big, sulky child. It's not sexy so if you want to hang onto her (and you should), get your shit together and start taking an interest in her life outside the narrow sphere of your influence.

Dear Curryfreak
You haven't posted your usual malicious bile recently.
it's been really lovely without it.
So go and annoy someone else.

GetOnYourDancingShoes Tue 02-Feb-10 15:45:00

DS1 - get your head out of your butt and realise that I am a real person and deserving of some respect, if only as another human being. Your DW is a lovely girl but does have her faults, as we all do. I am proud of the young man that you have become and would just like the odd acknowledgement of the role I played - please have a bit more consideration for my feelings!

DS3 - just go to college and finish your course!!

DD - hormones suck! I do understand, honestly! Please just try not to answer everything that is said to you in such a stroppy manner. You are only 10 and I'm already dreading the teenage hell that is to come.

DS4 - clean your teeth!

DS3 - why did you take your own life? WHY?!?

To you all - I love you all so much and have only ever done my best for you. I appreciate that it is anadequate at times but I have tried to be a good mother. I will continue attempting to do so.

PandaEis Tue 02-Feb-10 15:50:00

curryfreak i do believe the irony of your own post is entirely lost on youhmm

i have friends on facebook who are, in fact, real live walking talking human beingsconfused i do believe that you are quite sad and obviously have so little friends that a FB account would prove redundant for youhmm

dawntigga Tue 02-Feb-10 15:54:37

Here's my mobile phone, I'll look up the Samaritans number for you and you can phone them.


Because they care.


Jacksmama Tue 02-Feb-10 16:01:44

<waves at coolma>

"Dear friend, you haven't shred one of medical knowledge, whereas I do (not bragging here as you always introduce me to people as "your friend the HCP")... so why is it that, when your tiny DD had a virus recently, you scoffed at my advice (which was to keep breastfeeding her as that's what's best for tiny babies with tummy bugs) and followed your MIL's advice? Yes, I know she was a nurse but she's been retired now for a decade and she trained 45 years ago!!! And then, when the midwife reamed you out for giving your DD corn syrup dissolved in warm water, you complained to me that nobody had told you that you should have breastfed her... sorry, I love you, but sometimes, you really are a twat!"

AbiAbi Tue 02-Feb-10 16:08:40

DS - I miss you so much sometimes I cant even breathe. I think about you every minute of every day and will never, ever forget you. I'm so sorry I couldnt save you, and if there was anything I could do to hold you again or tell you these to your face I would.


curryfreak Tue 02-Feb-10 16:09:57

Ah, you're missing me already. Xx

curryfreak Tue 02-Feb-10 16:13:14

That was for hobnobs btw.

dawntigga Tue 02-Feb-10 16:14:53

DP - Thank you for showing me how I look through your eyes. Maybe one day I won't think you are delusional.

DS- You are 10 momths old and sat on my knee as I type. You scare me, I use to have boundries I wouldn't cross. I use to have walls that couldn't be broken and then you came. Now, they are gone and I'm scared of what I will do to protect you. I love you so much it hurts. I may not give you what you want through life but I'll be damn sure to give you whatever you need. I love you more than you'll ever know until you have your own child and that's just how it should be.

Father, you were emotionally abusive to me my entire life, I forgave you for that a long time ago. I don't love you anymore and I don't wish you any ill will either. I hope you have the life you don't deserve, I've let go.

Mother, you were never very strong. I've learned from your mistakes and will be the best damn mum I can possibly be. Thank you for showing me how not to do it, I forgave you as well. I told you a long time before you died that you were forgiven but you chose not to hear that, that was your choice and I no longer think I could have done it differently. I've let go.


generalunrest Tue 02-Feb-10 16:15:55

You are an arrogant, self-centred, vindictive person who likes to think they're family orientated when in fact you've fucked up your family. Your love is conditional and I don't accept the conditions you put on it. I'm actually sad to say that I haven't missed or cried once about not seeing you for two years.

You claim to love your GD1, but not once in those two years have you tried to build any bridges, and your GD2 is now five weeks old and you still haven't met her. What you've done to try and ruin my relationship with my DD1 after your death is not something I can get past, and for someone who claims to love her why would you want to do that to her??

I'm now left worrying that if you do die while we're not in contact that I wont give a fuck.

(Thanks for that OP, I've been wanting to say that for a while smile)

junglist1 Tue 02-Feb-10 16:18:59

Bollocks to everyone who has ever flamed me on here, or ever will. May you be struck down with bad breath and nits forever.

Undercovamutha Tue 02-Feb-10 16:27:09

DH - I DO know what it is like to work full time thank you very much - I did so for 8 years so think I have an idea of what it entails.

DD - you are messing with my mind with your 3yo emotional rollercoaster of a life. However, you are VERY funny, and should be on the stage!

DS - you may think that you are melting my heart by babbling 'mummy' and clapping after doing a naughty thing - and you'd be right you little cutie (but just don't tell your daddy as I'm trying to maintain the illusion that I'm strict wink).

wannatalk Tue 02-Feb-10 16:28:55

friend one - get a fucking grip, you have problems, we all have problems, they are as enormous to each of us as we can each stand, it is not for you to judge who is having the hardest time at the moment - and if it was you should be able to see that it isn't YOU

Parent - I want to shout at you every time you open your mouth, you shouldn't lie so much - you should admit what you did and how you treated us was wrong and from that admission we could move on - but whilst you insist you were a practically perfect parent - you will always make me angry with you.

PiL - just because you did things better with your son than my parents did doesn't mean that you are perfect - and how the fuck do you think it was going to work ordering a desert for one of your grandchildren and not the others - of course the others were cross and upset!! they are not spoilt they were treated unfairly!

MitsubishiWarrioress Tue 02-Feb-10 16:33:37

Oh, and Grandad, in your quiet, understated way you were amazing and inspirational. smile

As proud of me, that you used to say you were, for no particular reason, I was and am proud to have been your Granddaughter. I miss our phone calls but you are always in my heart.

I only ever made you cross once when I 'scratched' my name into the lacquer of one of your beloved cars and I am still sorry I did that.

Give my love to Gran, who I loved equally but for so many different reasons. I am glad you did not see me go through the last few years. It would have broken your hearts. But I am going to be OK, and look at your photo every day. It makes me smile.

LimburgseVlaai Tue 02-Feb-10 16:50:46

SIL - I love you very much but I have a few things I'd like to say to you.

Having a puppy is no way the same as having a baby.

You don't know the meaning of the word 'tired'.

You don't know the meaning of the word 'broke'.

You live in an enormous house, have three cars, have a cleaner and a gardener, work a couple of hours a day for pin money, and go on holiday to expensive places at least twice per year. You are not busy and you are not tired.

I am truly very sorry that you and your husband have not been able to have children of your own. But you must understand that your dogs are not your children. You do not need to take them to the vet every time their farts smell funny.

DuelingFanjo Tue 02-Feb-10 17:16:12


DH - I'm sorry its taken me so long to accept that I can't keep putting off getting counselling about my family, and I'm sorry we've been making each other's lives difficult recently. And I'm proud of you for stepping up and being the first one to get counselling, and not putting it off.

Parents and siblings If you can't see that despite everything I'm actually the least fucked up one of you after the crap you have all pulled over the years you're crazier than I thought. Accept that mental illness is not a free pass to be an evil bitch.

And DB - stop kidding yourself - they're still the people you said they were for the years you hated them. Just because you wanted someone to support your cheating bastard ways and your new family isn't an excuse to claim you were bullied into saying those things. You're the bully.

blinks Tue 02-Feb-10 19:22:12

<major hugs for AbiAbi>

Duritzfan Tue 02-Feb-10 20:38:41

Dear Dh

I love you more than anything, but you are not being fair to me right now.. I am having a really hard time and you have not been there for me .. I know you were hit hard by being made redundant a year ago and you are still getting over it - but now you have a great new job which you love I feel like it should be time for me to get some support from you ...
I have had the most awful sad year ..and I need a break ..

Dear ds

please please stop throwing away your future and stop fighting us ..please understand how much we love you and how lucky you are .. let us love you .

Dear dd

you are the bravest kindest little girl I have ever known ..what you deal with on a daily basis is more than most people deal with in a lifetime .. I love you so much and will always do everything i can to help you and look after you ..and I really dont care if you have failed your 11 plus - you will go far my sweet girl..

Dear sil, bil, mil and fil..

fuck off and leave us alone.. *leave my dh alone* - if you want to have a relationship with us then treat us like human beings.. remember you have five grandchildren ..not just bil's three and stop belittling your son, my dh .. he is close to breaking point and most of that is your fault...

Dear sil

I was there for you - when you had cancer while your hubby was screwing that woman from the how come when I get a life threatening illness and lose our baby we don't see you for dust ?
oh and stop obsessing over your plb ..precious last born ..shes a fucking baby - not a miracle born only to you ..

Oh and.. stop being pathetic - we all know damned well you were frantic for a stop being bitchy to others when they have the child of the sex they really want

so there !!

wow..this is cathartic.....x

TrinityIsFuckingTrying Tue 02-Feb-10 20:39:50


truly I want you to be happy
your dad always wanted you to be happy
but we had to teach you about real life

you are angry at the world and that will not make you happy
you have alwasy been like it since you came to live with us

you need to grab life and live it

stop being lazy, nasty, lying and trying to make other people unhappy

you will end up alone

and seriously, think about the way you are acting right now

your dad would be very angry with you
surely you dont want that

TrinityIsFuckingTrying Tue 02-Feb-10 20:42:05

this is very cathartic

I would like to make very very clear that dss1 is the other stepson

craig who is amazing and will go far and unreservedly loves and helps me and my children is dss2

he is amazing

but dss1 is a year older and has never grown up
its very sad
but we tried for years and years and now I cant do it anymore

Missing you like I'd miss a bad case of piles Curryfreak. Run along now I'm sure some of your real friends are waiting for you to come out to play.

GrumpyWhenWoken Tue 02-Feb-10 21:29:40

<waves at coolma and jacksmama>

Mum I miss you every day, but I'm getting stronger and trying to be more like you and less shouty.

ex-dh you are an abusive nasty waste of space, you don't deserve the lovely children you have, I wish you'd just fuck off and leave us alone. They really would be better off without you in their lives. It cost me a fortune to pay you out of the house and I wish I'd got you bumped off instead, it would have been cheaper and less hassle in the long run.

Yes, feels much better

pooexplosions Tue 02-Feb-10 21:32:06

dh we're done. who's going to say it first?

ScotsBird Tue 02-Feb-10 21:33:34

BiL - you are bleeding your mum and dad dry with your pathetic, childish, selfish refusal to partake in anything resembling a normal life. You're 26 ffs. Stop fucking taking heroin and crack, sponging money from your mum and dad to pay for so-called film courses which promise to proffer a job "with Film 4" at the end of them, and go and earn some honest money. Take your methadone, get yourself on anti-depressants, make a fucking effort to attend Christmas Day dinner with your family when we are all having a lovely day upstairs. Adult life is about taking responsiblity for yourself and not lying in bed in your own wing of your parents' house, smoking weed and heroin, and only coming upstairs occasionally to scrounge the fridge full of Waitrose food they have bought in an attempt to make you feel happy.

MiL - kick ... him .... out. You're selling your gorgeous home in the country that you bought for your retirement because he is costing you thousands a month. His dad MIGHT leave you if you kick BiL out, but surely your primary responsibility is to your son??? Grow a backbone.

FiL - wake up and smell the fucking coffee. BiL is LYING to you every day and you make yourself believe his lame reasons for needing money because you feel so bad about the crippling depression you suffered in your 20s and think you are empathising ... you're NOT.

Oh, and, MiL, BiL has "borrowed" hundreds of pounds from DH that FiL knows about, but hasn't told you about ....

And finally, just because I am a drugs counsellor does NOT mean that i can cure BiL, so being angry with me is totally pointless.

Phew ......

Manda25 Tue 02-Feb-10 21:39:20

Dear DS1 i am so sorry that i was a crap mother - forgive me. Having you when i was 17 was hard and i made many many mistakes. I promise you that your brother will not and doesn't have to go through what you went through. I am extremely proud of what you have achieved despite having me as a mother. You inspire me every day.

Dear DS2 - Thank you for being born and giving me the opportunity to redeem myself as a mother . Your brother loves you.

DP Thank you for being you

Old Friend 1 - seriously i can not stand being around you - and will never again answer your calls or texts. You are older now and should know better...please stop having these kids and then just leave them for are cruel and you make my skin crawl.

Friend 2 - he is never going to change - please leave him

Other friends - you are in my heart

Mum - you should have told me about sex

SpringHeeledJack Tue 02-Feb-10 21:46:15

cor Trinity I'm glad you did the second post to clarify- I was reading the first one like this shock


Vallhala Tue 02-Feb-10 22:00:21

Dad, I tried, I really did, but you're a weak man and won't stand up to stepmother's manipulation and control-freakery. I'm sorry it had to end as it did, but you acted as judge and jury in a kangeroo court and diidn't allow me to have my say in my own defence because S-M had already decided I was in the wrong and you hadn't the guts to challenge her. We will never meet again and now I'm resigned to that but I wish it could have been different. We had so many years to catch up on and have both lost not just the past but the future too.

Step-mother, when you marry a man with DC from other marriages it's immoral and cruel to threaten him with homelessness if he sees them just because you don't like them. We did nothing to deserve that. You use people, you wanted us when you fell out with Dad and rejected us when we got too close. True family is more than just your own little unit.

Step-sister. I helped you when you came to me with depression, suicide attempts, cutting and anorexia. I never betrayed you, I loved you. You used my expressions of fear, frustration and exhaustion caused by sleepless nights and twisted it to cause a chain of events that you wanted but dare not act upon and lost me my father forever as a result. Although you were wrong I don't blame you, I don't hate you for it though I did at first. I know now that often people in your situation turn on the one they rely on if they fear that that person has others in their life who might take them away from you. I hope that you have overcome your problems and that you are safe and happy now.

TrinityIsFuckingTrying Tue 02-Feb-10 22:25:35

lol as soon as I had posted I thought
shit that might confuse people and I definitely dont want people thinking I am talking about craig

SpringHeeledJack Tue 02-Feb-10 22:26:54


he sounds such a good lad- for a minute my faith in humanity was shattered

SpringHeeledJack Tue 02-Feb-10 22:39:44

ds- if you ever say "I'm not going to live on an estate" again in that snotty little voice that I don't recognise, I will not just tell you off- I will go through you like a dose of salts angry

Jacksmama Tue 02-Feb-10 23:32:13

GrumpyWhenWoken please come visit us over here!

<apologizes for hijack>

To all those people who keep thinking they need to share any news with me about the couple who ran the clinic where I worked when I first moved here: "I don't give a flying fuck. They were horrible to work for. I am happy not to be there. I don't need news about them, not even that he's had his vasectomy reversed and she's now pregnant again. Why would I care? Thank you."

ItsGraceAgain Wed 03-Feb-10 00:39:30

Dear Mum,
I know you are quite desperate to be loved. You're an old lady now and I wish you happiness - but I can't quite manage the sparkly adoration you require. And I'm not prepared to pretend any more. Sorry. I've respected your fantasy that you 'rescued' me 3 years ago, when in fact you trapped and controlled me, to make yourself feel better. You set my recovery back but I haven't told you that. I'm using this inspired thread to tell a bunch of strangers that I'm ANGRY at your neediness, your self-delusion and your vanity. At the end of the day, though, I'm a stronger person than you. And I don't pick on those who are weaker.

Dear DB1,
We used to be glittery, successful people having lots of fun together in expensive restaurants. I'm very sad that now, when I'm dirt poor and struggling to put my life back together, you feel uncomfortable around me. Also, I'm sorry for raising issues from our childhood that have made you feel bad. If I'd known how much unhealed hurt was still inside you, I'd have tried to soften it for you. I have just realised I need to write this in a proper, handwritten letter to you. So I will. I hope I don't hit the wrong spot again. All my love

Dear Friends,
Why the fuck are only TWO of you still happy to spend hours on the phone with me? I had a breakdown, not a lobotomy! Get over yourselves.

Dear People In Mumsnet Forums,
You. Are. Amazing.

ItsGraceAgain Wed 03-Feb-10 00:46:48

Dear Donald Trump,
Please fire that conceited fat bloke with the glasses.

Ah ... Thanks, Don! grin

JjandtheBeanisaTwislut Wed 03-Feb-10 00:52:46

SIL- stop fucking copying every single pissing thing i do, get, say about my kids, SO WHAT my 2yr old sayes less than your fing one year old, atleast mine calls me mummy and loves me deeply!

MIL- just stop.

DP- get the fuck off MY laptop and use your shitty pc

MUM, your my mum, act like it and stop complaining

Childless friends- your not fing skint if you can eat out 3 times a week, have 2 new cars and but a wii and wii fit!!!! OH AND YOUR NOT TIRED EITHER.

General public- HES A BOY, baldy is the girl.

and breath

Dear V
I'm sorry I haven't come to look for you ever. I'm not sure I ever will. That doesn't mean I hate you or haven't forgiven you. Maybe I'm just lazy, maybe I can't face the huge upheaval it would cause so many people. But I do wish you well. And thanks. You didn't have to.

coolma Wed 03-Feb-10 07:06:21

<waves back at jacksmama and grumpywhenwoken>

dawntigga Wed 03-Feb-10 07:38:17

Dear friend.

I love you and always will, you were there for me when I split from ex-h and helped me through a very bad time. I was there for you when you split from R and helped you.

Yes, I moved on and moved out - so did you. I grew and became the person I always thought I couldn't. You haven't changed a bit, you still think that everything is set against you. You still think that emotionally draining people is the way to make yourself feel better. You still set ridiculously high standards for you boyfriends they can't possibly live up to and are then surprised when they fail. You continue to live your life in exactly the same way you always did and seem surprised that nothing changes.


I wish that telling you this made a difference.


DuelingFanjo Wed 03-Feb-10 08:38:05

it was a dig and so I think 4 minutes of stomping immediately after was well within my rights.

Shodan Wed 03-Feb-10 09:11:12


You know, maybe you should think about what DB said to you the last time he saw you. Sadly you weren't the excellent mother you say you were- 6 children can't all be wrong.
And stop saying nasty things like 'if you'd been a boy you'd've been adopted' to me. It's cruel and unnecessary.


You're a snob. And dumping me as a friend simply because you'd found a husband was shitty.

happystory Wed 03-Feb-10 09:38:07

Ds: Please don't think dad and I have forgotten what it's like to be teenagers.We will miss you like hell if you go away to uni.

Dm: The world doesn't revolve around you. There is no conspiracy. People who do things differently to you are not doing it to spite you.My dh is wonderful and you should be grateful we are happy. Please be nice to him

Dfriend: I listened and listened and listened. Does it occur to you that now that I could do with a friend, your silence is deafening? With your new man, I feel you have no time for me- your friend of 25 years....

SnotBaby Wed 03-Feb-10 12:26:39

Just a few things for the world at large:

Please stop telling me I am doing too much for others and running myself ragged if you are going to immediately follow that with "I miss you, I haven't seen you for three whole weeks, what about ME, when is it MY turn!!!"

Stop telling me I should be less proud and share my problems with you. In fact I have a handful of precious people who I lean on very heavily when I need to. If I am not confiding in you it's because you either just talk about the time you had it worse and handled it better, or you have a track record of gossiping. I am sorry that I cannot reassure you that you are helpful and reassuring; if you prefer to see it as me being stubborn and proud, then be my guest.

No, coming round to eat my dinner and then needing a lift home does NOT constitute "I went round to help with the baby."

And finally, dear family of origin, the buttons don't work any more because I have disconnected the keyboard. It is a scream to watch you resting both forearms on it and getting yourselves wound up. I know where yours are too, but I have made a conscious decision not to press them any more. I know it sounds sanctimonious, but really, there are kinder ways for families to relate to each other and I think we owe it to ourselves to try


TippyTumbles Wed 03-Feb-10 13:35:53

Dear user friend

No, I will not stay in touch with you when I move house

No, I don't give a toss about your "illness", oh and btw were you aware that your perfect DH is screwing the sister of one of his employees?

justsue Wed 03-Feb-10 14:08:58

Dear Dad,

I am truly sorry that you are now getting old and need my help. I am not sorry that I dont love you as a daughter should love a father because we never were. I will help you but I will never love you.

Dear Mum, I miss you every single day and I talk to you every day. I am so happy you are not in pain and have found peace

blinks Wed 03-Feb-10 14:21:01

to my big fat stomach: FUCK. OFF.

Yzzil Wed 03-Feb-10 14:40:01

DH - I am going quietly insane spending my days washing and cooking. I know DS is a very chilled baby and you're busy with work but it doesn't mean I have to do all the chores. I'm seriously thinking about going back to work full time before my full Mat Leave is up....

ADealingMummy Wed 03-Feb-10 15:43:35

Dear Friend -
1.Stop fucking your married colleague after work.

2. You are also one of the crappiest mothers I have ever met. Just because you had a crappy childhood, why repeat the cycle with your two lovely boys.

3. When your married man's wife finds out the dirty little secret, you will not be able to handle the fallout.

(Vinegar tits , your post really made me laugh re ''not the hottest chilli'')

bratnav Wed 03-Feb-10 16:30:16

Mum - I am so upset with you, I can't believe you thought it was a good idea to bring THAT MAN into our house at Christmas. For you to then throw a hissy fit and swear at my husband when he asked him politely to leave is inexcusable.

Dad - you are a total c*nt and I hate what you did to me and my sister when we were young. I know that we disappointed you by being female, but there was no need to treat either of us like crap because of it. Also, you invested money into a business with exH and I, YOU, an adult. I am sorry it failed and you lost money, but I can't believe you still blame DD2 for being born and distracting me from the business hmm angry DS is beautiful, he is 5 months old, what a pity you have no interest in seeing him or any of your other GCs.

DSis - you cannot keep messing your DP around. Don't keep him hanging on just because you are afraid you will be broke and can't cope with your DS, it's just not fair.

DH - love you so much, but please try and get better soon, I don't know how much more I can take x

bratnav Wed 03-Feb-10 16:35:27

Oh and Mum, you are NOT a social drinker, you are an alcoholic sad

2shoes Wed 03-Feb-10 16:35:31

Dad, can't believe it will be a year on Sunday, I still think you are sitting in your house and that I can phone you,xx

Ispy Wed 03-Feb-10 16:58:31

Sister - stop being such a hardhearted cow and just reply to my email.

MIL - You are a grandmother. I am the mother of my three children and I know best when it comes to them.

MIL - No, baby powder does not make nappy rash 'worse'. (besides the fact that you should shut the fuck up because it's your fault that he got nappy rash because you didn't change him and blamed dd for not letting you know that he had a poo hmm

MIL - It's not ok to say when I come in the door after a 4 day break away, that I should have got my ds2 a car rather than a book as a present.

MIL - Stop taking over my house, my kids and my kitchen when you come to my house. Sit down and be quiet.

MIL - You have no idea how to behave. I believe it's termed as having no class.

cyteen Wed 03-Feb-10 17:03:30

Dad: stop hiding your grief and pain in 'safe' subjects and start dealing with your anger. I know it's not directed at me but it's really unpleasant seeing the fun, loving man you were start to morph into the bitter, brittle shell your father was. I know it will break your heart to end up like him, but you don't seem to realise it will break mine too. You're all I have left now; my son, your darling grandson, needs you in his life, not ranting away into emptiness. Please get help. I love you.

daisy5678 Wed 03-Feb-10 20:23:43

To the MN poster who annoys me beyond belief: stop lying. You get (and should do) enough sympathy without making stuff up too. Or at least lie well and don't contradict yourself. Thanks.

To mum and dad: you were shit parents to us all and you know it. Mum, stop trying to re-invent the past. Accept you were crap instead of trying to justify it all. It would be also nice if you could make more effort with my lovely boy.

To sister: Grow. Up. You are nearly 30. I have enough to deal with without being your second mother. I've done it for years but I can't do it any more.

To brother: she's turned you into something you're not and I miss who you were.

To friend: admitting your life isn't perfect isn't failure. Pretending your life is perfect when everyone, including you, knows that your dh is cheating on you and you should have waited a bit to have kids, is sad because it's like you're ashamed (and shouldn't be).

To my beautiful boy: I chose to have you in every sense. I hope that my actions haven't caused any of your problems, but suspect that I could have done a lot of things differently and I can't express how sorry I am for that. I will keep doing my best and I just hope that you will always know how much I love you, more than anything. I wish I could stop smoking for you. One day, maybe.

And my lovely lady in heaven: I miss you every day. I love you so much and I wish I had been there on your last day. I am so sorry that I wasn't and hope you understand. Me and my boy know you are looking down at us. Can you hear him shouting 'love you!'? I think you can. Thank you for showing all the love to me that nobody else did when I was a child.xx

Lovecat Thu 04-Feb-10 00:02:18

To J - I miss you so much, lovely boy, and I so wish you could have been here so that DD could know what a fab uncle you'd have been. I hope your bastard murderer rots in Hell.

To D - I never replied to your abusive text because I knew that's the thing that infuriates you the most, having your messages ignored. But where the fuck do you get off ending a 10 yr friendship (well, a 10 yr emotional vampirism on me anyway) with a rude text because I didn't ring you when I said I would? If I had been bothered to text you back I would have said (and would have told you if you'd bothered to ring me instead) that DD had chickenpox, was dangerously ill with it and I spent the day (and much of that weekend) worrying over her instead of thinking to call you on your return from holiday. But never mind, I didn't call you therefore I'm the bitch and our friendship is over? Quite frankly I'm well rid. Oh, and the reason you keep having shit relationships is because you're an insanely needy, overly aggressive arse who expects the moon on a stick and gets abusive when it doesn't materialise. Why you latched onto me I'll never know, but by God it feels good not to have to see you anymore!

To my horse - you are special and I miss you but I'm never going to ride you again - you're too big for me, too stroppy and your current loaners love you more than I ever will now that I have DD. Sorry.

To V - for christ's sake stop with the pity party, you are becoming embarrassing and I do not want to be the last one you have as a friend, which is becoming increasingly likely the way you're going on. Your relentless negativity is doing my head in and dragging me down, please for both our sakes stop it.

To a different J - your husband is slow, slow, slow and I hate watching telly next to him as he always laughs about 10 seconds after the rest of us. He's also arrogant and pompous and the fact that you were his fourth affair that led to divorce means we're all worried the git will do it again and leave you and your baby. Your mother hates him but won't tell you. Okay, he's relatively sane compared with the others in your past but you could have done sooo much better....

To A - please, please stop assuming I know everyone you're talking about. You haven't told me. I don't know. It's not obvious. We live 250 miles apart these days, I am not up to speed with every passing acquaintance of yours!

DaniellaC Thu 04-Feb-10 00:13:02

I might be 18 now but it doesn't mean I want to work over 65 hours a week because you charge me a stupid amount of rent and expect me to buy food on top. I know you want me to move out and I'm trying but starting to rent a flat is hard work.
Please just give me a little bit longer to sort things out and I'll be gone. I promise.

Mumcentreplus Thu 04-Feb-10 00:24:28

Dear Best Friend,
He is using you..and you need to tell him to fuck off..dont speak to him (unless you have to because you work with him but thats another story and he's 24 and you are 33 but his OH is like fifty... anyway) and certainly dont fuck him until he has made his choice..he's turning you into a woman you never were and it sucks..dont let him mess with your mind..I love you x

dear DH...we seriously need to decorate!!!..its making me fucking depressed..its wrong to use velcro and super-glue to stick up our living room curtains <cries>

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Thu 04-Feb-10 00:30:51


babyicebean Thu 04-Feb-10 00:32:58

Cat - Shut up, stop miowing,chirruping,squeeking and so on.When you sit on the windowsill or in the consevatry and go to hunt the birds in the garden you will hit the glass, everytime.Go out if you want to hunt.I have shown you the glass, you have bounced off the glass, you will get concussion if you carry on.

Boychild - STOP. LICKING. ME. ON. THE. is horrid.

If i could just go back in time and change all the things i did as a teenager which hurt you I would. I have never felt pain the way i have since you left me, Holding your hand those last few minutes were the worst moments of my life. Did you somehow get the nurse to give you the extra painkillers?? Daddy, my heart broke that day for the second time in my life and i am fearful of trusting anyone without you here. You taught me to be strong but without you by my side i just can't keep doing it. Daddy, DS2's middle name is your first name because that is all i have to hang on to you.

You left me without saying goodbye, I asked you if what they all said was true that you wanted to die, and you told me "i didn't understand and you didnt want me to" I have lived with the wonder of what you didn't want me to understand now for 8 yrs, and it haunts me everyday. Did you really want to die? had you really had enough of the pain and suffering? Why did you listen when i was there with you and then the day before i was coming to see you rip all the tubes out? why Grandad? you promised me you would always be there for knew me better than anyone, you knew how to make me laugh what to do when i was sad. You knew every part of me inside out you knew what hurt me. you knew when murphy raped me and you told me you promised me it would all be ok and that you wouldn't let anyone else ever hurt me. Grandad, you were the first person to ever break my heart and it has never mended.The last few months of your life you and i had some fun times while i was helping look after nanny, but nothing can replace you, your smile or your laughter.
I know you were in pain with your hands you never failed to make us laugh as children but making your fingers shake....and then in turn you showed DS1 the same,it was your way ofstopping us being scared, but i was never scared of you i loved you with all my heart.
You told nobody that you loved them, but you did tell me and sometimes at night i still hear you say it. Christmas day and Valentines day will never be the same in fact i really hate them. You would love DS2 he is a mini me and you know how you loved to tease me!!

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Thu 04-Feb-10 00:41:41

Sister - Stop being such a fucking stereotype. You know you can take good care of your DS without your friends looking down on you. You know you can cope with him. You know you don't have to lower yourself to the lack of standards that the InLaws seem to indulge hmm . Fake tans and holidays to the Algarve do NOT a good Mother make

Also - your boat phobia is BS.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Thu 04-Feb-10 00:42:25

Mum - PND is real. Deal with it.

this is something i have needed to get off my chest for many years now, so please feel free to skip it if you see it.


I did all i could to help you while you stood on the streets begging and trying to sell the big issue, i would walk from home to college so that i could buy you a sandwich and a coffee at lunch time. I was 18 yrs old and had done all i could even bringing you old clothes of friends so you had something different to wear. You seemed grateful for the help i did. I was the perfect lady towards you polite, helpful and caring, but i meant nothing by it.
You never said thankyou in anyway that i actually want to remember, i wish to god i could forget. but every day i have a reminder of you and what you did to me. Your thanks was to pull a knife on me and abduct me, you locked me up and you treated me like a piece of fucking shit. you scared my body and mind in ways that can never be erased, i fucking hate you you bastard i wish you would rot in fucking hell!!! why the fuck did you do that to me i did nothing to you. but you told the psychiatrists you loved me, loved me then why the hell did you cut me and rape me? i was a 18, studying and looking forward to my future, YOU fucked it all up, you screwed my head up. i fucking wish you were dead. but no as if that was not enough you then escaped from fucking prison and came looking for me....why? had you not done enough damage? you managed to get within 10 minutes of my home before you realised you were being hunted and fled to ireland and some poor woman had to fucking suffer at your hands. Murphy i really never felt i would feel hatred the way i do for you, you are not a man you are fucking scum, lower than scum.
you have fucked my life up for the last 17 years and i do not know how to change it, i hate seeing the scars from the knife, i hate the bad dreams which still haunt me at times and i fucking hate you!!!!!!

SORRY blush i went off on one there blush

Lovecat Thu 04-Feb-10 00:55:10

{{{{{TLES}}}}} (I know it's not the done thing but so fucking what, you deserve a hug)

Mumcentreplus Thu 04-Feb-10 00:55:53

it's GOOD thelady...let it all out

Mumcentreplus Thu 04-Feb-10 00:58:18

Lovecat, i love to hug and I'm not ashamed...I'm a hugger toosmile

Damn it i have not cried over this in 17yrs and now i am sitting here sobbing like a baby! I am so ashamed that i lost it like that then even if it is just typed...

on a brighter note i am a hugger too...

Mumcentreplus Thu 04-Feb-10 01:15:21

its important to heal from something so matter how long it takes..I think you are super tls! let it out <<hugs>>

coldtits Thu 04-Feb-10 01:17:10

To my friend

there is no problem in your life. Leaving your husband, moving house again and again, saying 'this' is making you ill, and 'that' is making you ill, and 'he' is making you ill and 'she' is making you ill, freaking out when your children do normal children things - NOBODY is making you ill. NOTHING is making you ill. YOU'RE NOT PHYSICALLY ILL.

The man who abused you is dead, and I know you say you're relieved, but you never really got any closure on that, I know. If I knew where he was buried I'd piss on his grave, he never even went to trial, did he?

But the things he did, in the past - they are the problem. It's not your children, and it's not your house, and it wasn't your last house, and there were no ghosts in it, it's not your neighbours, or your brother's girlfriend, or your cat, or your husband, and your new boyfriend isn't trying to emotionally suffocate you, and the teachers are not picking on your children. They are making normal demands of you. I understand why you sometimes react abnormally but they won't and don't.

you need to go back to the councilor. they pry for a reason.

MCP, for years i held myself together because of my parents who obviously this affected badly, then i held it all together when my dad died because i couldn't show how i felt about anything as mum needed me.but sitting here tonight i was looking through my saved websites and came across the one about him and i just exploded inside and had to get it out.

and even then i stopped myself before i went too far with it.



my interview 2009 blush

Lovecat Thu 04-Feb-10 01:47:18


Oh, sweetheart, don't apologise for letting it out. It obviously needed to come.

Wishing you health and happiness (and lots of hugs!)

CardyMow Thu 04-Feb-10 01:53:28

TLES I am in awe of how strong a person you are.

To the man who has destroyed 2 generations of my family - I have broken the circle. I may not have spoken up yet, but your time will come. My gran is very frail, and very soon, what I have to do to get justice for myself and my Dad and his brothers and sisters will be possible. You systematically ruined each and every one of those 5 children's life, and then tried to ruin mine. I am strong. You will not affect my life and you will NEVER even know that I have children. You will not be allowed to continue to do what you did to me and my Aunts and Uncles. I hope you die in a very long drawn out fashion, very painfully. Because of what you did, My Dad took his own life when I was just 10 years old. Just a week after I told him the truth about what had happened. I now know that was NOT my fault. It was yours. You will not control my life like that. I am somewhere you will never find me.

Queenbuzz Thu 04-Feb-10 02:37:19

The ladyevenstar, reading what you went through puts all minor things/irritations into perspective.

I cannot believe how incredible you are, so kind and trusting and then having something so awful happen to you because of it.

I really want to send you lots of hugs to help make you feel better because I can't bear that your kindness brought you so much pain and suffering.

So here goes hugs 0000000000000000000000

I hope they reach you x

BaconWheatCrunchies Thu 04-Feb-10 05:43:08

This has taken me all night to read, but thanks! Not sure I could add after TLES...

BaconWheatCrunchies Thu 04-Feb-10 05:49:18

Brave lady

LittleMarshmallow Thu 04-Feb-10 09:15:00

Lodger - Call my ds a bastard one more time and I will kick you out. You are not my mother stop acting like it.

to the doctor I saw yesterday - you are a twit and have no right to make me feel like i was being a burden on you.

Mum - No i wont forgive what you did those years ago and yes you were at fault.

xh - I am sorry we werent civil before you died, I wish we could have been but it was not meant to be.

feel better now

GrumpyWhenWoken Thu 04-Feb-10 11:14:54

TLES you are such a brave person, I've sat and cried over your terrible ordeal.

I don't know how anyone could ever get over something like that.

I'm humbled by some of the posts on here, puts my life into perspective for sure

littlestmummystop Thu 04-Feb-10 11:52:04

TLES- Am humbled by what you shared...

To DD's dad- I'm so glad you married a total nutcase. You didn't deserve to land on your feet with anyone nice after dumping me with our new baby.
However I think you should have start paying me proper maintenance before having another kid. Plus having a new one with a nutcase wife is bound to cause fireworks.. You've got a rough few years coming and hope DD doesn't lose out any more than she already does.

To DD's new step mum- I know you are jealous of me, of your husband's DD and insecure. Get over it.

To ExP- I think you're a real weirdo. I only realised after moving in with you. I think you might have Asperger's.
I know you can't help it but I can't help still being angry at the way you made me feel.

To Mum- Please stop saying: 'Parents only do their best at the time.' We both know you didn't and it's cost me £2k in therapy.

To my Dad's sister- Not sure why you promised him you'd be a better Auntie to us as he lay dying. Haven't heard from you since.

Gosh realised these are all really depressing!

FranSanDisco Thu 04-Feb-10 11:57:39

To MIL :

Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up ...

victoriascrumptious Thu 04-Feb-10 12:18:38

Dear work collegues,

You are a boring and irritating I am so glad to be on maternity leave and I fully intend to use my 'keeping in touch' days to come back into the office to fuck with you before handing my notice in.


indie37 Thu 04-Feb-10 12:23:46

How stupid are you exactly? It's not difficult to file things in a logical way so other members of the team can find them. When are you going to be leaving to join clinical coding, I do hope it's soon.
I hate the way you and other colleague act as if you know everything just 'cos you've been here longer than I have. I have been doing this job a while you know, yes it was on a different site, but I still did it.
And yes other dear colleague, I know you've only got 3 more days before your maternity leave, but you are actually being paid for those days, so trying doing a bit of work.

victoriascrumptious Thu 04-Feb-10 12:24:06

You put your needs before my safety. I was only 8 and I didnt understand why I was being screamed at and threatened . I've spent years not blaming you but now I have children I can see what a useless selfish prick you were.

dawntigga Thu 04-Feb-10 16:20:50

theladyevenstar I have some idea of what you went through, now go back and take that fucking blush out! You shouldn't be even the slightest bit embaressed, you should be VERY proud of yourself that you've pulled yourself together after this terrible thing was done to you. Huge fierce non mny hugs.


PS typing a bit sloppy due to tears

TLES: sending you good wishes for the future. You are very brave and very strong and that awful man HAS NOT WON. You have.

Dear all of MN'ters on this thread

I am sorry i can be a PITA at times, i don't mean to be but i get defensive at times.
I wish you could all realise how much i appreciate your kind words on this thread to me but at the same time understand that i am and do get embarassed by such things as i feel i have let my guard down and thats not me grin

havoc Fri 05-Feb-10 10:56:57

oh TLES your post has sent a shiver down my spine. I remember reading about your ordeal. It changed the way I behaved with strangers and acquaintances.

Stay strong.

And you are allowed to behave like an arse now and again. smile

nevereatbrownsnow Fri 05-Feb-10 10:57:55

Sil, the likes of you should not pro create, your 4yr old dd spits in your face and tells you to shut the fuck up, why the hell have you got pregnant again. Idiot.

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 05-Feb-10 11:24:38

Work colleague, you have wind - at 12 weeks pregnant your baby is the size of a bean and is not kicking you.

CillySunt Fri 05-Feb-10 11:44:00

Dear everyone and anyone,

You know, as much as I think my life is shite, as much as I think that I cannot go on, and as much as I think 'I don't want to wake up in the morning' I realise that there are much much worse of people out there than me.

I may not be the best person in the world, but I am certainly trying my best.

Dear ExBf, why did you report me to SS? What had I done in our 'fallout' that was so bad that warranted me possibly having my dc taken from me? You know they are my world, and that I would be forever lost without them.
I am sorry for being an arse with you just before we stopped talking. I was depressed and had just had a mc and didn't want to trouble you with all my worries because I know you were depressed too. I know I made excuses to not meet up, but it wasn't anything to do with you, it was all me. I couldn't face going anywhere with anyone.

Dear ExP, I know you are a good dad, but you are not a perfect one, so please don't criticise me on being a mum. Our kids eat plenty of fruit and veg so the occasional biscuit or packet of crisps is not going to harm them. I know I don't go out with them as often as I should but you try taking two young children out, one of whom won't go in a pushchair and wont hold hands when walking, whilst trying to push a pushchair, without a car, and see how bloody far you get.

difficultdecision Fri 05-Feb-10 12:18:17

Dear DS, I'm sorry there's a lot of upheaval at the moment, I know being a new big brother is hard and I'm sorry I shouted at you this morning when you were just being mischevious not really naughty. Mummies don't get it right all the time either but I promise I'm trying really hard. I love you so much and sometimes I wish it was just the three of us again too - but DS2 is part of our life now and I know that in a few months you won't remember life without him.

ps. Seeing you kiss your baby brother makes my heart melt.

Dear DS2, I love you too but its going to take time to get to know you. Letting me sleep occasionally would go a long way towards making friends confused.

Jacksmama Fri 05-Feb-10 14:43:24

Darling sweetest most adorable DS - stop twiddling my other nipple when yoiu feed!! It hurts!! Otherwise, carry on as you are

Lexilicious Fri 05-Feb-10 16:03:54

Dear boss,
Seriously, hair-flicking? In front of a Rear Admiral? The giggling didn't work either. Tell you what, invite him round after work to see your my little ponies.

shockers Fri 05-Feb-10 16:15:54

Mum... shut up with your conspiracy theories and get some help for your drinking. Oh, and by the way, you made the period of time when our foster daughter and son were being adopted absolutely horrendous for me. I was in bits and needed your support not your nasty drunken phone calls at 2am. Furthermore, you will lose your son if you don't learn to love his beautiful new wife and I know that you do care really so stop saying you don't.

Sister... stop encouraging Mum.

I feel cleansed....

shockers Fri 05-Feb-10 16:20:01

TLES.... I hope one day soon your nightmares will stop. X

Runfaster Fri 05-Feb-10 16:20:03

This is the best thread ever...

Mother: I will never forgive you for telling me that you had got a new lover 6 weeks after my father died. You STOLE all the money that DSis and I were supposed to get from his estate, you monster. Stop selling off everything the family ever owned to fund your first-class travel, champagne, shooting-and-fishing lifestyle. Why do you have to be such a self-centred bitch? Telling my sister that she's going to be sponging off you forever when she'd just lost her job was nasty, and telling me I was too fat to get married was horrible (and untrue). And how DARE you tell your 93 year old mother that she can't travel when she needs to because it's not convenient for you as you want to go on holiday? You haven't even made plans yet. And how DARE you tell me not to take her into account and to move to NZ with DS because she could 'go on for years yet'. She ADORES DS and if he ever turned out like you and acted towards me like you act towards her, I'd shoot myself.

MIL: Did you know that we have a two year old son? Oh yes, I remember, you sent him a card once about a year and a half ago. Are you interested in meeting him at all? Because we are not interested in begging you to come and stay to see him any more. We're fed up. Come or don't. Up to you. Meh.

Step sis: We all hate your husband. He's a pompous, misogynistic, arrogant tosser. Leave him.

Step bro: Your wife is the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't fuck up. And don't listen to your appaling mother who hates her because she's not from the 'right sort' of family.

Friend: Yes, I do think I'm more intelligent than you, and it hasn't got a bloody thing to do with me having a DPhil from Oxford and you having a 2:2 from Bournemouth. It's beacause I read things other than Hello and I talk and think about things other than celebs.

Scorps Fri 05-Feb-10 16:35:56

Nan - I miss you and I need you right now. You were the bravest lady walking this earth, in my mind. I need you to reassure me.

K - despite everything - I love you. You complete me. I'm sorry it has come to this. I hope you sort out your problems and have a peaceful happy life, that I'm sure I can't be a part of. The day we are divorced will be the worst day of my life.

J - you are the truest friend I will ever have. You're amazing and I hope I can repay you one day.

Mum and Dad - the best people I know. You are wonderful people and I thank god you are my parents.

DollyPS Fri 05-Feb-10 17:07:38

to mum you are a narrissitic bitch and dont care about anyone but yourself. Stop phoning me to moan and bitch about others. Stop thinking you have become the best grandma since sliced bread she isnt your grandchild and her mother will do her damnest to drain you maybe you are suited together after all. ASD does exist and no it isnt cos I raised him alone for a few years. Now that was nasty.

Step dad-you are a pervy wanker and will never never be left with my children. I would kill first.

Sperm donor - you have grandkids remember oh thats right your too busy shagging everything that moves to care.

bro- get a life and stop being a bully to everyone it isnt big you know and no I wont leave the kids with you. Oh and my youngest doesnt need a slap when he goes into meltdowm thanks.

wee bro love ya's your the best.

Friend 1 love ya and your family as always

Friend 2 love ya too

Friend 3 well you turned out to be a surprise thats for sure and you shat on me cos of friend 1 cos you didnt like her so fucking what take it up with her not me and stop bitching about her as it isnt pretty and its all about you isnt it and if others dont toe the line you dump them. Well your loss mate.

ExH stop with the woe is me crap to our daughter as its pitiful and she knows its crap and will stop comong to visit

H will you finish one fucking job before doing another or I will get folks in to do it for you. Oh thats right it isnt benefitting you is it. Oh and stop with the name calling it isnt funny any more you know so stop already. Oh and another thing the dog is old stop being a wanker and have him put down. Oh and how about this as well switch your fucking phone of at night you do have a family or are we invisible these days or what maybe one day we might be invisible for the rest of your life wanker.

Oh that felt really good getting that off my chest

SleepyDopeyGrumpy Fri 05-Feb-10 17:55:35

Mum: Yes i love you but no i will not just say poor you what a terrible life you have. You lie in bed all day on your computer and stay up until 3am you do not work and you just wallow in self pity at what a boring and skint life you have. You have one son who disowned you for choosing a pervert over your children and grandchildren and your only daughter out of 4 children who actually speaks to you does not want you to criticise her life when yours in a pit of selfish and lazy shame.

Db's: Hi im your sister im the one you all come running to despite being the youngest, im the one that picks up the peices when you fuck up and i am the one you all ignore when your lives are going great and mine is shit. Would it kill you to come and see me once in a while for me?

ds1's dad: Ok so its been 5 years and you are finally stepping up to the plate and have agreed to get to know your son but no being in the forces does not excuse you for seeing him once and then leaving it for months on end. Also no i am not going to sleep with you and if the only reason you are meeting your son because you think you can get a free fuck out of me then you can piss right off.

ds2's dad: you left me when i was 6 months pregnant and you have seen your son once when he was 3 months old. You have a new son now he looks just like ds2 as a baby how can you kiss him at night and not feel guilty for the son you dont want to know. Also you may move and change your number but i can garuntee you that the CSA can and will find you if you ignore my last attempt to contact you.

DS's: Im so sorry im such a shit mum im trying my hardest and everyday i promise you i will be a nice person and not shout at you and everyday i fail and make you sad. Im so sorry i love you and i will try harder.

Dear nursery staff: Thank you so much for helping me out by giving me 2 free days at nursery for ds1 you will never know how much you have helped me by giving me time to myself to get on top of the house and go to college to study.

Dear school secretary: Fuck off you snide bitch, yes i am often late, i am unorganised and deppressed and i dont sleep anymore butits never more than 15 mins and "OH DEAR MUMMY IS YOUR ALARM CLOCK BROKEN!?" makes me want to slap you in your smug face.

Dear mumsnet: Sometimes i think i wouldnt be hear at all if it wasnt for you. Thank you.

God that felt good!

Rhinestone Fri 05-Feb-10 18:38:38

Brother - you are in your mid-twenties, time to put the 'man-suit' on and stop getting Mum and Dad to do everything for you. Oh, and if you could stop being such an attention seeking self-absorbed prick that would be great.

M - Do not marry D. You don't love him and the reason I know this is because you have told me you don't love him on numerous occasions. And he is odd and has no sense of humour and we can't stand him and he doesn't act as if he loves you either. I know you are scared of having no-one but you will be lonelier with him than without him.

Friend's husband - you are a total cock and a bully. I have wanted to tell you to shut up numerous times for the way you speak to my friend. You are a very sorry excuse for a man.

Grandpa - The reason I never visit you is because you have never ever showed the slightest interest in me and you have been rude to people I love.

That felt great!!!!!

Eve34 Fri 05-Feb-10 19:03:33

I hate you with every fibre of my being. It has been a year and you never once gave us a chance you kept crawling back to her.

You are a spinless slefish little man and you never put our son before your own needs.

I hope you get what you deserve.

shockers Fri 05-Feb-10 19:16:21

I know all about your secret. It will catch up with you one day. It would be better for your daughter if you came clean to her and your wife about your son but I don't suppose you can see that from your murky little viewpoint.
I'm so glad I didn't let you draw me in to your web of deceipt and I don't think of you fondly anymore since I found out what a horrible secretive little cheat you are. I feel sorry for your wife, daughter and the son you pretend doesn't exist.

AshleyFanjo Fri 05-Feb-10 19:54:36

I don't give a crap that you didn't get much sleep, you haven't eaten properly and you found the journey to and from the hospital difficult and finding somewhere to park ech day stressful

I was in the hospital for a week having our baby you twat! I was in labour, not allowed to eat, unable to sleep as I mentioned, in labour!

Oh, and I'm not in the slightest bit sympathetic to the fact you had back ache because when we moved house I was unable to lift anything due to being 8mnths pregnant and unable to life anything after the birth as I had an emergency c-section. Will you pleasestop whingeing about it.

corriefan Fri 05-Feb-10 20:21:43

Dear parent yes I can see that your child is muddy. The playground is muddy. Get over it.

MarineIguana Fri 05-Feb-10 20:40:51

I feel like you've leaned on me and blackmailed me emotionally since we were children and I've actually had enough of it. I'm not going to fall for it any more and I'm going to stand up to you. (Well I'm going to try!)

I will never forgive you because you don't have a clue and never take responsibility for what you did. Yes I still see you and pretend things are vaguely OK and I know you love me (in your self-obsessed way) but I'm sorry, you were a terrible mum. Oh and btw I don't want to hear about every feckin detail of your new conservatory, OK?

Rhinestone Fri 05-Feb-10 20:50:33

And here's one I forgot -

K - I don't actually want to be your bridesmaid and by the way, we're not in some Jane Austen novel and despite what you say I'm not actually your 'maid'. And no, I will not spend over £100 on the shoes you want me to get. I have a perfectly good pair of shoes and I can't afford new ones. If it's so important to you then you'll have to pay for them and you can even keep them afterwards.

ClaireyFairy82 Fri 05-Feb-10 21:08:26

Dear Neighbour,

Your three cats seem to think that my lovely garden, where I would like to relax of an evening - pref with a glass of vino, is their personal toilet. I'm so sick of clearing up all their smelly crap and will soon start flinging it over the fence onto your overgrown lawn for you to discover come spring. Have a nice day!

Dear 2 bottles of wine,
you are very unreasonable jumping into my glass And while you were jumping into my glass i had to deal with the shots jumping down my throat as well!!!

lollopops Fri 05-Feb-10 22:09:46

Mum. I wish I had had the chance to meet you, just once.

Dad, I wish I had had the chance to meet you, just once

theressomethingaboutmarie Fri 05-Feb-10 22:10:42

Dear Team Member. I am the boss, I know how to write an email. Your unsolicited suggestions about how to respond to an email to my boss are also unwanted. I have been here for four years, have been in business for over ten so yes, I do fecking well know what I'm doing.

That'll be all (I'd like that last bit to be read as if I'm Miranda Priestly)

Havoc, it is really weird to know someone actually read that report when it happened.....kinda makes it too real

Dear sperm donor father: I don't know you, I've never met you. But I never want to meet you. You must have hurt my mum so much for her never to mention you to me in the 20 years I've been on this earth, so don't think if you somehow find me that I'll be all smiles and happy to see you. You will get a door slammed in your face.

Dear mum: I love you so much it hurts. I know I can be the biggest pain ever sometimes, and I know my sight issues have made life interesting, but thank you. If I can be half the person you are, I'll be happy, because you are amazing. And I'll never forget the time I had my eye surgery and you sat by me all afternoon, wiping my tears and telling me it would be OK, and that the pain would go away eventually, instead of how you normally are when I cry, telling me to get a grip You knew when to do both

Dear male species: What is wrong with me? I'm 20, I've had one boyfriend who turned out to be a loon. Why can I not form a relationship with a guy on anything more than a platonic level????

Kitkatqueen Sat 06-Feb-10 03:50:53

tles you are an incredibly brave person. Hugs from me too, as unmumsnetty as they are.


indie37 Sat 06-Feb-10 10:20:14

DH, are you going to ignore me all day? I was tired last night and just wanted to sit down and veg without talking. Have you any idea how tiring it is to work full time and do all the childcare, no of course you don't because you never do it. I don't like being threatened and I don't appreciate being told I'm a crap parent. Actually dd1 and I have a good relationship, how would you even know, you're never here. I'm actually considering leaving you, is that what you really want?

Shiregirl Sat 06-Feb-10 10:26:54

Mum - The thought if you holding my baby fills me with fear. I will never allow you to have a second with baby alone. You will never hurt my child.

Dad & Mothers 'Husband' - The quicker you both drop dead the better. You will rot in hell.

AllSparksWillBurnOut Sat 06-Feb-10 15:36:55

Ex-MIL you are a conniving, deceitful, manipulative selfish bitch who thinks your children owe you. How dare you drag my friend out of a party by the hair because she was flirting with your son (my ex-bil), how dare you run your hands up my ex-H's leg. Really, I think you are a sicko who should have got help ages ago and getting shot of your pathetic son and your disgusting family was fantastic. Even if it cost me a fortune. I wish I'd reported you to social services.

MIL. I love you. But telling you would embarrass the hell out of you. So I can't.

UnquietDad Sat 06-Feb-10 16:06:46

Mum - please stop being a racist old bitch. You know we love you but it is very hard to demonstrate this when you are saying all this shit, and then tutting at us for getting "in a rage" with you because you have spouted BNP/ Daily Telegraph nonsense 99 times which we have ignored, and only the 100th sent us over the edge.

To friend H - you had the affair. Stop blaming everyone else for not being "supportive" (i.e. not endorsing it.)

To the school-gate mums who think they have a hard life when they are at home 6 hours a day with nothing to do thanks to hubby earning all the money - grow up, stop moaning and be grateful. You've effectively retired at the age of 37. Enjoy.

havoc Sat 06-Feb-10 16:18:34

tles sorry, I didn't mean to make things worse. I shouldn't have said anything sad

heathermc Sat 06-Feb-10 16:45:07

MIL - The baby does not need water, no matter how many times you tell me to give it to him. He is breastfed.

DH - I am really sorry your dad died yesterday and when you came home I forgot and asked you if you'd had a good day and could we go out for dinner.


Mumcentreplus Sat 06-Feb-10 16:59:59

Dear Interim are just filling in till the real manager gets in a few weeks we will be on the same level once again...don't let your new position get to your head and start giving written warnings to employees who have been hospitalised really dont have the experience or the authority..I will fight you tooth and nail prepare for your first will not earn your stripes off me love! angry

BTW you are stupid and about as useful as an arse*-*hole on an elbow!

CillySunt Sat 06-Feb-10 17:03:50

'mum' - I was 13, I was 'naughty' I didn't do anything that warranted what you did to me. And as for telling me, at 14, that having my mc couldn't have happened to a better person, well, it just showed me what a horrible cow you are. I have not spoken to you since that day, and I never will again. You will never get to know your two beautiful grandchildren because they deserve so much better than you. I have not since, nor will ever again, call you 'mum'. You are nothing to me, nothing.

'dad' - It wasn't me that did those stupid petty things when I came to live with you after she kicked me out, it was you now wife. She is only 5 years older than me and hated me. Hated that some of her attention had been taken away. Why would I of lied about the things I was meant to of done? I had no reason to. Yes, I did steal money from you when I was 14 and I know that it was wrong. If I could change that I would, but I still didn't deserve what happened.
I wasn't to blame for a horrible paedophile taking advantage of me at 13. Why did you blame me? I was naive and was getting attention from him, I didn't know he was grooming me and what he was doing was wrong. But you wouldn't listen to me would you? You are another that will never get to know your two beautiful grandchildren. But then again, you probably wouldn't want to as golden child has given you four grandchildren already. He has learnt from you hasn't he? You have 8 kids. He already has 4 and he is only 21. How proud you must be.

Brother - The day I left you and said I would come back was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But I had no other choice. I was 17 and couldn't look after a 16 year old. I was still a child myslef. And your social worker threatened to have my flat taken from me if I carried on letting you live with me. I never got the chance to explain and now you avoid me, which I know I deserve.
The sun doesn't shine out of your dad's arse. He used to beat us up yet you always went back to him and gave excuse after excuse. I love you little brother. But I will never forgive your dad.

Havoc, oh hun you never made it worse. I just mean it is really weird. Obviously I know what happened to me but you just don't think others will remember it.....That is actually good that people do remember because it shows that regardless of how awful an experience it was for me, in turn it may have saved someone else having to go through it as well....does that even make sense?

Mumcentreplus Sat 06-Feb-10 17:27:58

tles..thankyou for sharing, you are wonderful brave and special lady (have I said that before?wink) <<hugs>>

LegendLay Sat 06-Feb-10 17:29:50

Tles - you don't know how strong you are, I wish you so much joy and happiness for the future. I hate that you still suffer. You are very brave. Your story really touched me.

lollopops Sat 06-Feb-10 18:34:01

Dear my two best friends.

Yes, you are both about to have mixed race children and become single parents. I would have more sympathy for you if your children were going to be born without a limb or a terminal illness. It's a skin colour FFS!! angry

And dear two best friends, No, I am not an embassador for the black race. I have no idea why these fathers, who happen to share the same skin colour as me; are treating you like shit, anymore than you would have an idea why the Yorkshire Ripper did what he did angry angry

LittleMrsHappy Sat 06-Feb-10 18:37:54

To be absolutely furious at my Dad for choosing to die, 5 years on and its still hurts like the day you passed away.

To DM & DS, I would like a phone call some time, even a visit, its been 10 years and still no visit, I only live 3 hours away, its not so much to ask, mum please remember that you have 4 grandchildren, My DC would like to see more of you, money in a card is not enough!, and when or if I have a next DC, dont think it will be me who travels with a NB to see you, because you could not be bothered!

and to curryfreak, fank fook for FB, due to that site I keep in touch with family! at home.

I do plenty in RL, and have more friends that you could ever imagine!

Oh can I join in please please please???

Dear SIL:
Your new boyfriend is an arsehole. We know you're using him as a sperm donor, but he'll sod off as soon as that second blue line comes up. And if you're dead serious about getting on with your life, then do the decent thing and divorce your DH. And dressing like a 14-year-old who is trying to look 18 when you are 35 is ridiculous. Get yourself a decent bra, add at least three inches to your hemline and for the love of God stay away from the fake tan.


Mermaidspam Sat 06-Feb-10 20:37:46

MIL - Stop being a knob and treating BIL like some kind of china cup you are afraid will break if you dare to say anything to him. It is your fault he has no job or education. Also, do not smoke in my utility room again. As you can plainly see, the ironing was in there and it now needs to be rewashed. Thick bitch.

DD - I will never be able to explain how much I love you and how much you infuriate me at the same time! I wish there was a pregnancy-style test for Asperger's.

DH - I can't explain how much I want another child. It is a longing I will never be able to put into words. We joke about it often, but I wish I could tell you I was serious. It's on my mind every day. If I ever do get pregnant I would know the signs of PND and not shut everyone out of my life for 3 years again. I am so sorry. I feel so guilty for you having the sleepless nights and not me but I never heard her cry, not once. I promise it would not be the same if we were to have another baby.

TLES - If only I could tell you how your story has affected me. I feel so many feelings on your behalf but most of all want to give you a glass of wine, bar of chocolate and a giant (((hug))). (Oops, you'll probably read this grin)

Ta. Soooo much better now

iloveshoesandbags Sat 06-Feb-10 20:53:15

TLES - reading your story has moved me so much. I hope you continue to be strong. You are a role model for others. ((hug))

Soon to be EX-H. Stop putting yourself before the DDS. They come first, not you. I am happier now. I gave you 18 years of my life. You never put the effort in. I am not sorry i left. I will always put the girls first. I don't hate you. I'm pleased you have found someone else. Don't make the same mistakes again.

Soon to be EX-MIL. You are a nasty interfering bitch. You will never be alone with my girls again. You will only see them when supervised. You will never bad-mouth me to my girls. They are happy now. They love me and their father. Your son was not a good husband or father. He now has a second chance to be a better dad. You don't know everything. You never saw my girl run to safety when she thought he would hit me. That was the last straw. Thank goodness I'm strong enough and able enough to live away from him. I will always support them so they can see him and continue the relationship. He is struggling but that's not my fault.

Mum and Sister - I love you. You are and have always been supportive without interfering. I am sorry that I did everything on my own but I didn't want to involve you in this. I chose to do it the way I did because of his temper. I was scared. You are everything to us and we are very lucky to have you.

friends - I have good, loyal friends who I love very much. You have always been there for me and I hope I have repaid that too. I hope some of you find your way, I can't advise you, my situation was different but I will always be here for you if you need me.

DDS - you are my world and I will spend my life making sure you are happy and loved. I could spend all my time with you just playing, talking and sharing time and special moments with you. I love you.

Nan - can I just have one more hug please? I still think of you all the time and I hope I make you proud.

M - thanks, for everything.

havoc Sat 06-Feb-10 21:10:41

TLES I'm glad I didn't freak you out!

And it did help me. I stopped putting myself into potentially dangerous situations. Throughout college and when I first moved to London, I was always up for new experiences, trusting strangers and never thinking that there were evil bastards out there.

I'm truly sorry that you met one of those evil bastards.

GSOH Sat 06-Feb-10 21:25:59

Friend - Why are we the best of friends when I listen over and over to your mostly self induced problems? Why do you think it is ok to bad mouth my children to my face? angry
Why have you showed 0% interest in my new baby? Just f**k off. grin

GSOH Sat 06-Feb-10 22:01:38

Great thread. I have lots of angst need to get out......

Mother - Do not keep sending things in the post for my children and letters filled with self pity and lies. I don not want you in our lives.

Friend - cancelling arrangements that we have made with crap excuses does not wash anymore. You keep telling me you are rubbish at keeping in touch. Goodbye.

Friend - I know you have had your own troubles, don't we all? I was there for you, where are you now?

Friend - yes I am a good listener but I am more, what happened to our night out?

Self - Stop being a door mat and find some conidence.

clankypanky Sat 06-Feb-10 22:02:03

dear flab, will you please just fuck off youre really getting on my tits now

GSOH Sat 06-Feb-10 22:02:37


GSOH Sat 06-Feb-10 22:07:04

blush more....

FIL stop trying to do diy in my house and ballsing it up

MIL shut the f up

happyland Sun 07-Feb-10 14:53:19

Husband - I miss you. Spending six weeks with no adult company is really really hard. I hate being so needy and dull with out you.

To myself - get a fucking grip, you are pathetic. Contact your friends more, drink less wine and be a better mother

To my children - I love you so much it hurts and I am sorry I am a shit mother, I really want to do better by you but mummy is sad right now

To my friend - your h is unfaithful, i should know, he tried it on with me. Twice.

To my mother - we are moving house. Get over it it. If everytime i talk to you, you cry it just makes it harder on everyone

To another friend - I am so so sorry about the mc. I wil try to be more supportive.

I think i could go on and on!

cyteen Mon 08-Feb-10 16:17:27

neighbours - you seem like lovely girls, thanks for being tolerant re. DS's 6am wake-ups and all-the-way-up-to-11 volume setting. It makes me a bit embarrassed to think of you hearing me through the wall as I keep up my constant nonsense conversation with him. I'm sure hearing about his stinky bum bum or how he's the cutest little boy there ever has been gets kind of wearing, so cheers for never mentioning it when we bump into each other on the doorstep grin

knicknack Mon 08-Feb-10 16:31:31

dad - karma has bit your arse because you will never once be alone with my dc's and i have forgiven you for the past but i will never forget like you have.

mum - i pity you, you left me and db for years on end with no contact and now think we have a great relationship. we don't.

Nana - i wish i could spend one more day with you and for you to see how ds1 is getting on and to meet ds2. I love you very much and miss you.

first love - i do still love you deep down and think about you i'm just not going to bother trying again just to get hurt.

everyoneelse - you already know how i feel about you all! grin

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