I think Dh is being a dick. Aibu?

(36 Posts)
Cluffyflump Mon 01-Sep-14 16:42:41

I'm ill.
Rotten bug that started as a cold, then a sick bug yesterday I couldn't move without throwing up and couldn't stay awake. I spent the whole of Sunday sleeping and vomiting envy
Now I'm a bit better today. Have kept some water and dry bread down but passed out earlier and having bouts of dizziness and sickness.
Dh had to go off to work and we have 2 smallish dcs at home (6&3) so I've had to look after them. I've basically slumped on sofa and crawled to the kitchen to get them junk food.
I asked Dh what time he could get home as I can't really do dinner and he went mental at me!
He has form for being arsey when I've been unwell before.
I think I've done very well today and if anything he should be being nice.

Twitterqueen Mon 01-Sep-14 16:45:10

He is being a dick.

sorry you're not feeling well. Even at 3 and 6 though, children do understand that 'Mummy is poorly ' and will try to behave. They won't mind to much as long as you're there - even if incapable of doing much.

Lilicat1013 Mon 01-Sep-14 16:47:23

He is being a dick, make sure he gets to clean up the sick when the children get it.
I hope you feel better soon.

MrsHathaway Mon 01-Sep-14 16:48:33

Get well soon. I have a 6 and a 3 and that's challenging when you are well.

He won't help. Give them Coco Pops and ice lollies for tea - they'll be fine - and go to bed when they do.

KneeQuestion Mon 01-Sep-14 16:48:59

He is a dick.

MagpieMama Mon 01-Sep-14 16:49:59

He's being a dick!

CromerSutra Mon 01-Sep-14 16:50:38

Yanbu he is being horrible. I hate to hear about partners who are nasty when the other is ill, it's so unkind. Hope you feel better soon darling xx

LineRunner Mon 01-Sep-14 16:51:03

My ExH was like this. To be ill is to be lazy, in his self centred world.

It's bloody awful. Sorry.

On a practical note, make toast. Or just given them juice and biscuits, or bread and milk.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 01-Sep-14 16:51:28

Unless he gets it and appreciates the severity of it, he doesn't sound likely to be sympathetic. It wasn't self inflicted and it's hardly a lovely day off so he's not being fair.

CromerSutra Mon 01-Sep-14 16:52:15

Oh my god! I did not mean to write "my darling"! Sorry, I was thinking of my dd while typing! Sorry!

DialsMavis Mon 01-Sep-14 16:53:32

Ex DP was vile when I was Ill (extremely infrequently, I am exceptionally stoic), why are they like this?

Pobblewhohasnotoes Mon 01-Sep-14 16:54:11

What a dick. How utterly selfish and uncaring.

Vitalstatistix Mon 01-Sep-14 16:56:05

I think it's sad that you even have to ask if you are being unreasonable to think that your husband ought to care about you when you're ill and want to help you.

No, you are not being unreasonable.

AlpacaLypse Mon 01-Sep-14 16:58:56

Isn't there a bit in the BCP marriage service about In Sickness and in Health?

Definitely he's being an arse.

LineRunner Mon 01-Sep-14 16:59:15

DialsMavis, good question. Is it a control thing? Tied in with selfishness maybe.

My new(ish) OH is so sweet when I am unwell. I am still shock at his solicitations.

Cluffyflump Mon 01-Sep-14 17:01:46

I knew it!
I was half expecting everyone to tell me to woman up and ask if I wanted a medal for looking after my own dc I do.
I am so truly fed up with his attitude.
He phoned not long after I posted and said sorry.
I am still hacked off despite his apology. Yesterday I felt worried about being unwell because I could predict his reaction.
I can't understand it. I'm not some sort of hypochondriac, nor am I ill often.
Dc have been so lovely today so I have been lucky. Shame about their father angry

Cluffyflump Mon 01-Sep-14 17:05:44

I quite liked the 'darling' bit! <grabs any bit of kindness going> grin

seasavage Mon 01-Sep-14 17:05:53

He is being a dick.
Passing out is a worry. Are you improving?
Have you managed any fluids.

DialsMavis Mon 01-Sep-14 17:12:14

Control and seeing their partner as an appliance maybe, I get pissec off when my vacuum cleaner plays up mad doesn't serve me in the manner I expect it to. I hope ypu feel better soon Cluffy. The lovely DC will enjoy being fed crap for a day.

CromerSutra Mon 01-Sep-14 17:13:42

Ok then darling, take care and feel better soon! X

SanityClause Mon 01-Sep-14 17:20:12

Could you manage beans on toast for them?

I bet your 6yo could do most of that, themselves, with a bit of supervision.

That doesn't mean I don't think your H is being a dick. He is. And he should be rushing home to make them dinner, and to look after you. That would show he really meant his "sorry".

SocialMediaAddict Mon 01-Sep-14 17:23:12

Order them a pizza. Hope you feel better.

LumpySpacedPrincess Mon 01-Sep-14 17:23:30

I have what you have and feel your pain, last night was horrible. Dh had to work but has just got back and made me a nice cup of tea, he's also popping out to get tomato soup and crackers. He left for work at 4 this morning. Ex h used to react badly to me being ill.

The fact that you could have predicted this reaction hints that he isn't just having a bad day.

Sabrinnnnnnnna Mon 01-Sep-14 17:24:38

I had a similar thing last week, felt like I was at death's door.

Thankfully, dc are a little bit older, so were basically able to be feral for the day, helping themselves to (god knows what for) lunch etc. Dh left work early, sorted dinner ordered pizza for them, and cleaned up a bit. I was so, so grateful - but this really is/should be the norm when a partner is ill, isn't it?

YADNBU. Your dh is a dick. Hope you feel better soon.

Throw up in his favourite shoes. He deserves it.

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