AIBU to request petrol money?

(43 Posts)
Glastogirl Fri 15-Aug-14 08:52:08

Going away to today with some friends for a long weekend no kids and panicking.

It's about a 300 mile round trip and I'm driving as I have the biggest car.

AIBU to ask the others for petrol money? None of them have offered any and I'm not very confident so don't know if i can just come put and ask them directly.

I've dropped a few hints but none of them have picked up on it or are ignoring the hint on purpose.

Anyone got a nice way to ask? grin

wtffgs Fri 15-Aug-14 08:58:17

"I've mapped the route on Google and the petrol cost will be £x - so £x each. Can you let me have your share so I can afford to fill up? "


If they don't cough up straight away, leave them behind! grin

HumptyWasPushed Fri 15-Aug-14 08:58:43

I'd just ask upfront...'Are we splitting petrol costs?'

If they're real friends they won't have a problem with this.

PumpkinsMummy Fri 15-Aug-14 08:58:44

drop a text saying " Hi all, really looking forward to our trip, hope everyones packed?! I will be filling up with petrol on the way up, and imagine it will be around £xxx so it will be about £x each to put in the kitty. Haven't got enough in my card for the whole thing so if we can pay in cash that would be great. Love x."

Middleagedmotheroftwo Fri 15-Aug-14 08:58:56

Just tell them when you get in the car that you filled up before you left and their share is xx. And make sure you fill up at least once during the journey and ask them for their share, and again just before you get back home.

It wouldn't cross most peoples minds NOT to share cost - perhaps they plan to pay for other stuff in lieu? (Eg food/drink/hotel/....)

You sure they won't just dash in and pay when you fill up? Whenever I take friends somewhere I tend to find that's what happens

appealtakingovermylife Fri 15-Aug-14 08:59:56

Hi, I'm surprised nobody has offered to be honest.
I would give them a small window of opportunity to mention it to you first then make the point of going to the petrol station to see if anyone offers.
How many friends are going?
You could casually mention that although you have to pay for petrol ( you as in collectively) it would have been much more expensive to travel by coach/train etc times x amount of people and that this is a cheaper option, obviously assuming it is!
I would definitely offer petrol money for this, surely your friends will too.

HumptyWasPushed Fri 15-Aug-14 09:00:06

But wtf wording is better. smile

Keep it breezy like:

Oi you lot wink how about £20 [cost of fuel,I don't drive so ?] each for petrol, come on tight arses, cough up.

It's a cheek that they haven't offered so you'll have to.

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 15-Aug-14 09:00:36

You'd have the same petrol costs if going alone so I'd wait for them to offer. They likely intend to or pick up another cost of the weekend.

redexpat Fri 15-Aug-14 09:02:41

YANBU. How much will it cost you in total?

Everyone since I'm doing all the driving would you mind making a contribution to the petrol?

redexpat Fri 15-Aug-14 09:03:45

Ignore mine, gives them the opportunity to say yes actually we do mind.

fairylightsintheloft Fri 15-Aug-14 09:06:12

Daisy I really hate that argument. She isnt going alone. They are all benefitting from her driving. They can relax,do stuff during the long journey, she is doing approx 8-10 hrs of driving (in total). She can't know they are going to pay and it will be harder to raise it after the fact. OP just make sure you pick them up, then go to the pump and as you pull in say, right, so two tanks will be xx so thats x each ok? Have you got it on you now?

weeblueberry Fri 15-Aug-14 09:08:43

I'd be inclined to say 'would you rather give me the petrol money in advance or just go halfers when it's time to fill up?'

Then they're not really in a position to do anything other than split it.

LizardBreath Fri 15-Aug-14 09:12:19

If I were being driven by you I'd always offer petrol money when we were in the car on the way, or on way back. If you sent me a text calling me a tight arse before the trip (as suggested above) I'd be a bit miffed!

OddFodd Fri 15-Aug-14 09:14:12

I'd just email and ask how people want to split costs? So maybe suggest that as you've paid for the petrol, someone else can pick up the tab for shopping and you'll split the difference at the end of the holiday? I'd always assume petrol costs are a general kitty thing - assume you're all going in one car as it's cheaper, not that you're subsidising everyone else!

HappyAgainOneDay Fri 15-Aug-14 09:18:53

DaisyFlowerChain It might cost more to have a carful of people because there'll be extra weight with bodies and their luggage. It would still be cheaper than by coach or train or flying so the passengers ought to stump up a share per person.

Joysmum Fri 15-Aug-14 09:19:50

I personally would let people know that you've been thinking about the fairest way to split petrol costs.

The easiest way is for you to fill your car to the brim before you start out and then to fill to the brim once you get back so you'll know exactly how much was used and that to be split X ways with no additional allowance for any other costs to be made.

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 15-Aug-14 09:21:20

Of course you are not being unreasonable to ask for a cost to be split; I'd ask for it to be split between them as you are the one driving.

I'd possibly go to a petrol station and ask how they are splitting the petrol costs and if there were arguments they would be driven straight back home again.

DaisyFlowerChain Fri 15-Aug-14 09:25:02

Lizard I'd be miffed too, especially as the OP seems to have mentioned it several times already via hints.

She won't know the true cost until she's been there and back and it will be less than a tank full anyway if the whole journey is 300 miles.

Maybe I just have friends that don't not pick over every penny and we just get on with it. We always do it fairly without looking mean

helpmesolveaproblem Fri 15-Aug-14 09:25:08

i once went on holiday with my husband. he invited his friend and his wife.

we hired a car as well as taking mine....boys fishing in my car, us in the hire car sightseeing. I drove everywhere, every day. i bought all the petrol and everything.

at the end of the holiday the hire car had been damaged, and they wanted £350. they all stood there and let me pay. (i was the only one with any means to pay -credit card)

they never offered. i was so offended i never asked. Havent spoken to either of them for 10 years since the trip.

It was no loss to us (freeloaders asked DH if they could come away with us again...!)

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 15-Aug-14 09:26:09

You'd have the same petrol costs if going alone so I'd wait for them to offer.

She would probably not be going on her own and if she was, would have costed the full cost of fuel into her calculations.

ZenNudist Fri 15-Aug-14 09:28:57

Yanbu can you go and fill up as you go out and get them to pay then fill up on way back and ask for money again. Don't feel guilty if it's a bit over as you have done all the driving it's only fair.

IDontDoIroning Fri 15-Aug-14 09:33:47

Are you going to be sharing good or other bills ? If so you could suggest a kitty for the petrol food etc.

Saying that the others MIGHT be planning to pay for something tale is a bit of a stretch if it hasn't been discussed. And anyway a bottle of cheap plonk or a cream tea probably won't be anyway near the costs of the petrol for a long round trip like that in a large fully laden car.

So how about a text - how are we splitting the costs do you want to have a kitty for the food and the petrol etc £xx each to start out as I've got to fill the car or do you just want to split the petrol ? Let me know before we leave as I'm going up fill up after I've picked you all up.

I think the she's going anyway argument is false because the others would still have had to drive/ bus /train and the OP said she's cm driving as she's got the bigger car so I assume the others have also got cars so could go by them selves.
Also you have to concentrate you can't doze off read a book play on your phone etc when driving so it's not as relaxing.

ScrambledEggAndToast Fri 15-Aug-14 09:38:59

Whatever you do, don't fill up and ask for the money afterwards. Inform them how much it will be and that you will be going to the
Petrol station. People are notoriously forgetful when it comes to handing over money in my experience.

rollonthesummer Fri 15-Aug-14 09:39:17

Is it this weekend? Get it sorted now, before they set foot in your car. Once the weekend is over, you won't get it back.

Glastogirl Fri 15-Aug-14 09:41:03

Exactly! And no we're not splitting any costs... All paying for everything ourselves! We'll meet with more people when we're there over the weekend (it's a work wedding). Most are sharing hotel rooms but I paid a bit extra to have my own!

ramrod757 Fri 15-Aug-14 09:52:49

She won't know the true cost until she's been there and back

Why not? She should know roughly what kind of fuel consumption she'll get on a run and work it out. It's not rocket science! Without even knowing what car it is I can make a rough estimate of £45. I could tell you within a couple of pounds what either of my cars would cost to complete a particular journey.

fairylightsintheloft Fri 15-Aug-14 09:53:11

In that case definitely be up front and specific about splitting the cost - and as the driver I'd be pretty miffed if they didn't shout me a coffee / lunch on the way as well. There is no embarrassment about this - why on earth should you meet the cost by yourself, or be "compensated" by a couple of drinks at the wedding?

rollonthesummer Fri 15-Aug-14 09:55:23

If nobody is going to contribute then say you're getting the train, at least then you can read a book all the way!

Preciousbane Fri 15-Aug-14 10:01:04

I'm going away for the weekend once the dc are back at school with a friend. She has a brand new top of the range Audi, She is driving so I get to sit in fabulous luxury but I offered petrol money immediately. If people have manners they would offer straight away.

Just work out how much petrol is and ask for the cash. I would be hugely grateful that your driving.

Then again some people are arseholes. An ex colleague of mine asked me if I wanted to go with her to see her BF play in a football match. It was 1.5 hours drive, she didn't drive and she wouldn't have offered petrol. I had been taken advantage of by. her before with lifts to work.

rollonthesummer Fri 15-Aug-14 10:15:24

When is the wedding, OP? How many are fitting in the car? Are they reliable friends who have pId their way before? What do you estimate it will cost?

If you don't feel comfortable asking for money, could your car have to go in for an emergency repair? Ring all the others and explain and say that you are desperately sorry and if anyone can drive-of course you'll pay £15/30 petrol (as that's what you'd estimated it to be) or you'll be getting the train.

Please don't just drive anyway, but not ask for money-you'll be really pissed off afterwards.

Tinkerball Fri 15-Aug-14 10:18:21

Of course people should pay petrol money! It's extremely rude of them not to offer, don't even ack if they are going to give just work it out and divide it by the number of people. Use a fuel economy site or Michelin route planner, you can put in miles, size of engine etcetera, we did a road trip to Italy this year and it was very accurate.

LAlady Fri 15-Aug-14 10:19:49

I go away with friends in September and one drives to the airport about an hour away. We all give petrol money - it would be rude not to. We put it in an envelope in her bag - she doesn't and shouldn't have to ask.

DamonAllbran Fri 15-Aug-14 10:20:22

I go kayaking a lot & have a car full - I've never yet had anyone fail to offer.

I tend to fill up before we go, when we get there top the tank back up to full & double that cost - that's how much you've got to split between you.

Normally I don't end up paying for fuel at all as I'm doing all the driving and the ferrying around while we're there....

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals Fri 15-Aug-14 10:22:11

I wouldn't discuss it with my friends until I'm in the car. I just ask how much they want when we're on our way.

No need for it to be a thing and they'd be incredibly presumptious to assume that you're lumping the cost - unless you're all loaded.

BloodyNaffedOff Fri 15-Aug-14 10:23:35

I would text them all today and say 'Are we okay splitting the petrol costs x amount of ways? I reckon it will work out at about £10 (eg) each, is that okay? xx

Then it's a direct question that needs an answer and if they don't want to pay they will either say so or ignore it - if anyone ignores then you an send a follow up text saying 'We are okay splitting the petrol cost aren't we? I can't afford to fill up myself!! xx'

rollonthesummer Fri 15-Aug-14 10:26:03

The thing with texting is that all of them could ignore both texts and then you are none the wiser and it's an unspoken 'issue'. Only you know what they're like though, OP.

Can you ring?

Boobsofsteel Fri 15-Aug-14 10:30:55

Boring but true, the difference in MPG in my car with just me and DD vs with 2 extra passengers can be up to 20 miles.

I don't think it's rude to expect people to pay the difference on a journey that long.

ramrod757 Fri 15-Aug-14 10:31:52

She has a brand new top of the range Audi

A V10 R8 Spyder - nice!

ramrod757 Fri 15-Aug-14 10:34:00

Boring but true, the difference in MPG in my car with just me and DD vs with 2 extra passengers can be up to 20 miles

20 miles per tank maybe but not 20MPG.

HappyAsASandboy Fri 15-Aug-14 10:42:27

300 miles is less than a tank in my car.

So I would send a text now, bright and breezy, asking whether they'd rather you worked out an approximate petrol cost from a google map distance, or whether they rather you started the trip full and they split the cost of refilling you at the end of the return journey.

To those saying to get them to pay for a full tank at the beginning and end, that would mean her friends double paying! The right thing to do is for them to put her back in the same position at the end of the trip - easiest if the start and end position is a full tank. But the friends only contribute to the second fill up!

Drquin Fri 15-Aug-14 10:54:34

Me too Sandboy - it's about 3/4 tank for me, about £42 so I'd look for maybe a tenner per person for the trip.

To be blunt, I'd have sorted it out before now if you're truly fussed about it - if only because if I wanted to NOT take the car, either on principle or genuinely couldn't afford the petrol, it'd cost me more than the £42 on a train fare for the same distance at this short notice.

Depends on your relationship with the friends how you address it now - there's some I'd take a "oi tight arse ...." text from, and plenty I wouldn't ;-)

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