AIBU to think that he should not be working with people who have disabilities?

(63 Posts)
MilkandCereal Tue 08-Jul-14 14:07:10

I don't think I am being unreasonable,but I need to vent/rant anyway.

I volunteer,and I met another volunteer this morning at a meeting, who works with people who have PMLD(Profound and multiple learning disabilities). He's volunteering for the charity to gain some work experience in organising events.

We were discussing events that the charity runs,at break,and he said that he doesn't see the point in taking 'them' that is people with learning disabilities,on outings,as it's just a waste of time and money,and that they get nothing out of it. He said the same of the clients he looks after at a carehomes, that he hates taking them out,says its like a circus parade,and feels that they're better off in their roomsc He went on a little on this theme. The other 2 volunteers who were present went out for a smoke break.

I was so taken aback that all I could say was everyone needs and deserves fresh air,new experiences,and interactions,and that he'd feel differently in their situation,or if it was a close family member.

I really don't feel someone with that attitude should be working with people with disabilities,or volunteering with them. Can I express my concerns to the volunteer coordinator re him volunteering,or should I say nothing?

ICanSeeTheSun Tue 08-Jul-14 14:11:03

I would flag it up.

MrsWinnibago Tue 08-Jul-14 14:11:16

I would. He sounds awful. sad How does HE know what the people get out of their trips? The arsehole.

Ilovexmastime Tue 08-Jul-14 14:12:38


Shakirasma Tue 08-Jul-14 14:19:06

What a cunt! Please flag it up :-(

Aeroflotgirl Tue 08-Jul-14 14:23:40

Please report him to a superior, he should not be volunteering with this attitude. How does he know that the people get nothing out of the trip, has he asked them! (I meant this sarcastically as many are not able to speak but you can tell by non verbal communication sometimes). He is embarrassed by them! No this charity don't need people like that!

Rafflesway Tue 08-Jul-14 14:28:31

Wow - no YADNBU!! My adult dd lives in her own apartment which forms part of a complex for young people with SLD and you should see how giddy she gets when she knows she is going out in the car/on the minibus. (Thankfully she does this several times per week but still loves it.)

To say this person is totally unsuitable to be anywhere near people with SLD is a polite understatement. I would rather repeat the sentiments of shaki to be frank!

Theodorous Tue 08-Jul-14 14:30:42

God none of you have clearly ever worked in elderly care. I agree he is a shit but in all my years of caring and nursing, genuine people who were in it for the job satisfaction rather than the rule. Report him and let's hope Panorama continue to do the work that the cqc find impossible to achieve.

Flowerfae Tue 08-Jul-14 14:46:07

I can ever so slightly see where in his head..he may be coming from (don't agree with it though) people do stare.. which might be what he meant with the 'circus' comment, however so what? people stare at my little boy... but I wouldn't dream of keeping him locked up in a house, people are not meant to be kept inside and need the outdoors.

I agree he doesn't seem to understand and either needs educating or another job.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 08-Jul-14 14:46:24

I have worked with adults who have severe learning disabilities for a number of years and have a dd with ASD and dev delay

seriously1984 Tue 08-Jul-14 14:54:01

I'd keep your nose out, he was probably just having a rant and meant nothing by it - We all hate aspects of our jobs sometimes and daytrips are obviously not his thing. He may even have meant that some of the trips are unsuitable for some of the people, which they may be (no idea?) and is just not very elegant with his words.

MilkandCereal Tue 08-Jul-14 14:57:48

Apologies for drip feeding,but I didn't want to include every detail as it may be upsetting for some,but he made it quite plain that he's embarrassed to be seen with the residents,'or freak-show he also referred to them as, when out,and it's not just day trips he doesn't see the point in taking them out of the home,ever,anywhere. Even a ten minute trip to the shop.

What a bastard. Please tell whoever is in charge of him.

Honsandrevels Tue 08-Jul-14 15:03:49

Report him.

dawndonnaagain Tue 08-Jul-14 15:16:20

Nice first post seriously1984. hmm

Pheonixisrising Tue 08-Jul-14 15:23:48

seriously1984 you are joking ?

OP report ! Report! Report !
You can not work with vulnerable people , actually any people and refer to them as a freak show

I think I would have ripped their face off

Do they think they are second class citizens or something , bloody hell

Aeroflotgirl Tue 08-Jul-14 15:56:43

It's attitudes like that, which can lead to abuse if vulnerable people. If he views them so negatively, how can he do the job properly. Sorry this charity dies not need people like him.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 08-Jul-14 15:57:18

Yes I would tell my supervisor or manager.

seriously1984 Tue 08-Jul-14 16:04:46

On the basis of the "freak-show" comment alone I would also report. My previous post was ensuring he wasn't just having a moan (as we all do with our jobs from time to time)

Kundry Tue 08-Jul-14 16:06:57

It's important that you report it. An organisation does have a responsibility that it's volunteers are properly trained and follow a code of practice.

Managing volunteers can be a nightmare as they often feel the organization should be 'grateful' to them - but it doesn't give them carte blanche to behave badly.

I once reported a volunteer for racist language. He had been volunteering at the organization for longer than any staff member had worked there and all hell broke loose as he had come to believe he was running the place. But I got huge thanks from management as they need solid examples in order to confront people about poor behaviour.

Owllady Tue 08-Jul-14 16:08:20

Report him

hazeyjane Tue 08-Jul-14 16:14:23

Please report him. There is no excuse for attitudes like his. It makes me despair.

Darksideofthemoon88 Tue 08-Jul-14 16:15:48

I once reported a nurse I dealt with as part of my job who referred to one of her residents as 'not like a person' due to her dementia sad. I thought that was a bloody awful thing to say - imagine that was your mother she was talking about! Report him, OP.

Puzzledandpissedoff Tue 08-Jul-14 16:44:51

Totally agree about the risk of abuse with views like this. I'm not suggesting that this particular staff member would harm someone, but given his poisonous attitude, would he flag up anything else he saw, or just regard it as being of no consequence??

For pity's sake inform the volunteer co-ordinator ^at once^; you really don't want this on your conscience if the worst happens

Flowerfae Tue 08-Jul-14 18:26:15

if he is referring to the people he is working with as 'freak shows' he needs reporting

MickiJohn Tue 08-Jul-14 18:32:21

Report him. I wouldn't want him working with any Family member of mine with that attitude.

Why is he volunteering with that attitude? Surely no-one is forcing him to do this job?

MiscellaneousAssortment Tue 08-Jul-14 19:35:04

Report report report, and do not let this be swept aside or minimised.

He obviously thinks its fine to have these views or he wouldn't be sharing them with others.

If someone genuinely believes that certain type of people are freaks and it doesn't matter what they experienced... How do you think he will treat them? Where is his line?

Abuse of disabled people isn't a rare thing. It's all too frequent, so I wouldn't be thinking 'oh he's probably not that bad'.

Nomama Tue 08-Jul-14 19:46:09

Report him. In my previous career I dismissed a paid employee for similar comments. He made our clients fucking miserable. Even the most uncommunicative of them picked up on his nasty negativity and became noticeably brighter when he left.

Such people need to be kept as far away from 'the freaks' as possible. Once someone feels it is OK to say such things out loud they are beyond saving.

Give the manager the opportunity to get rid of him, now!

YouTheCat Tue 08-Jul-14 19:54:53

Definitely report.

I wouldn't want him anywhere near my ds.

annielouise Tue 08-Jul-14 19:59:28

You must report. He shouldn't be volunteering in that position.

MiscellaneousAssortment Tue 08-Jul-14 22:08:19

I don't have learning difficulties but am now substantially physically disabled, and am vulnerable to people like this man. 'carers', volunteers and various services... It's terrifying.

I'm a grown adult with a degree and a professional job... Yet I've been forced to have people in my own home, neglecting and abusing me. It's terrifying, and soul destroying. And it's a constant worry. I've escaped from the worst abuses, but this weekend I found out someone's been stealing from me again.

So imagine if someone didn't have the cognitive ability to understand what's happening or how to raise the alarm. it's awful.

It's everyone's job to be aware of people like him, and protect those who can't protect themselves. It's when people turn a blind eye, or pretend its not happening, that the real damage is allowed to happen.

I'm very glad you are worried and hipefully will do something, now this man has told you who he is.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 08-Jul-14 22:11:03

miscellaneous sad,how awful.

MyFabulousBoys Tue 08-Jul-14 22:41:27

Oh please report. He is using this role to further his career and standing but showing vile attitudes and disrespect. Please stand up for these people and their loved ones who trust that the carers are kind and not abusive.

manicinsomniac Tue 08-Jul-14 22:44:32

I wouldn't report.

But I would say something along the lines of, 'your opinions are both wrong and disgusting. If you ever say anything on those lines to me again or if I see any hint of your thoughts coming across in your treatment of or attitude to your service users then I will report you.'

I don't report without giving prior warning or seeing evidence of harm.

SpiffingGalore Tue 08-Jul-14 22:47:30


SpiffingGalore Tue 08-Jul-14 22:48:53

Please please report this man. My sister has PpMLD and I would be appalled if someone with that attitude were anywhere near her sad

MilkandCereal Tue 08-Jul-14 23:01:44

I have reported my concerns. What the volunteer coordinator will do with that I've no idea,but we'll see. If he was just going to be based in the office it,the situation,wouldn't be so worrisome,though his attitude would be equally so,but he will be interacting closely with clients/service users who work with the charity.

How can he appropriately support them,or advocate for their welfare if he thinks of them as less than human?

Besides,selfishly,I don't want to volunteer alongside someone with such attitudes. I don't want to listen to that.

Deathraystare Tue 08-Jul-14 23:03:23

How can he say that??! I have often seen people as you describe above on outings. Most of those whose noises/movements I could understand seemed always to be enjoying themselves. They deserve outings as much as the rest of us do. He finds it too much rouble or gets embarrassed when out with them I guess. He is volunteering in the wrong place. Nob end.

SquigglySquid Wed 09-Jul-14 03:16:32

Yes. Report it.

There are other organizations he can volunteer at to organize events that don't involve working with vulnerable people.

macdoodle Wed 09-Jul-14 07:06:10

How horrible, he doesn't see the people he is supposed to be helping as "people" does he? How on eartt cab he interact meaningfully with them never mind safely. Well done for reporting.

Puzzledandpissedoff Wed 09-Jul-14 08:36:10

How can he appropriately support them,or advocate for their welfare if he thinks of them as less than human?

How indeed? And VERY well done for mentioning it to your supervisor

Mrsjayy Wed 09-Jul-14 10:06:47

He sounds a dick report him he is looking for something that looks caring and worthy for his cv those are just the worst yanbu, I reported a woman for being patronising and down right nasty about the people we work with I had a wobble about reporting it had a thread and was reassured but this lovely lot I did the right thing, tell somebody

Mrsjayy Wed 09-Jul-14 10:09:23

Good for you, I didnt read on

hazeyjane Wed 09-Jul-14 10:10:31

Well done for reporting.

Happydaysatlastforthebody Wed 09-Jul-14 10:17:03

What a cunt. Report him. Once carers cease to empathise with their venerable clients they easily cross the line to rough speech/actions/abuse.

Horrible man.

Firsttimer7259 Wed 09-Jul-14 10:18:09

My dd is disabled and I beg you to let a supervisor know about this. People like her are so vulnerable and open to abuse and bad treatment from people who think her life and comfort isn't worth care attention and respect. I can feel my heart racing at the thought of her being looked after like this

Happydaysatlastforthebody Wed 09-Jul-14 10:18:40

Oh see you have good for you op.

ScouseBird8364 Wed 09-Jul-14 10:19:17

Ooh, I'd complain to one of the superior's, he should NOT be working in this environment and obvs has no passion to be there anyway shock

Mrsjayy Wed 09-Jul-14 10:20:14

Thats the negative side of volunteer work I think folk see it as a way to get on have a nice cv or whatever and dont give a fig about the organisation or people in it

Firsttimer7259 Wed 09-Jul-14 10:21:21

If the volunteer co ordinator does resolve this please go further up the chain , just please stop him

Happydaysatlastforthebody Wed 09-Jul-14 10:35:30

Mrsjayy totally agree with that.

My oldest ds was told he had to volunteer to recieve benefit, he's waiting to join the forces, a job centre staff member told him volunteering with the disabled and mental people would look good in his CV.

He was appalled. It seemed to be equated with shelf stacking in ASDA.

Mrsjayy Wed 09-Jul-14 10:41:08

That is disgusting shows what disregard even the jobcentre has for vulnerable people dont get me wrong volunteering does help with getting a job a uni application etc but you have to bloody care for the people you are working with or go and work in a charity shop

MilkandCereal Tue 22-Jul-14 10:14:08

I thought I'd let you all know that the volunteer will not be back as he has apparently found a more appropriate placement.

DownByTheRiverside Tue 22-Jul-14 10:26:33

Fantastic that you bothered doing something about it, and that action has been taken. I hope it's on his record somewhere, so that he's never inflicted on anyone vulnerable again.

cardibach Tue 22-Jul-14 10:35:28

DD volunteers with a disability sports group and had to do a course about acceptable language etc (quite rightly) before starting. She is 18 and has been volunteering for just over a year - the course didn't teach her anything she didn't already know as she is an aware and sensitive young woman who takes people as she finds them without making random judgements based upon their appearance/sexuality etc. <proud>
This man is a twat, I'm glad you reported him and I hope he never has the opportunity to work with vulnerable people - he might be taught to say the right things but those attitudes will not easily be educated away.

dawndonnaagain Tue 22-Jul-14 10:55:14

Well done Milk and Thank you!

MilkandCereal Tue 22-Jul-14 12:02:13

I didn't really do much. I just reported my concerns. The volunteer coordinator did the rest,but I'm glad that he's gone.

thereturnofshoesy Tue 22-Jul-14 12:19:18

good, well done op for telling them

MiscellaneousAssortment Tue 22-Jul-14 20:02:07

I'm so glad. well done. I know you said you didn't do much, but you did enough.

Hedgehog80 Tue 22-Jul-14 20:08:06

Well done op. He sounds like an a hole, how on earth could he know what people do/don't get out of visits out.

MyFairyKing Tue 22-Jul-14 20:12:21

It may not seem like much but it was. You did the right thing.

FlossieTreadlight Tue 22-Jul-14 20:13:56

Thank you for reporting - it was brave. My sister has learning disabilities and I hate the idea of turds like that being anywhere near her. Hope you enjoy the rest of your volunteering.

unrealhousewife Tue 22-Jul-14 20:17:03

Thank you for sticking your neck out for disabled people. This has not just prevented a prejudiced man from working with disabled people, lots of people will hear about what has happened and it will make them check their own attitudes and views. I'm so glad the organisation acted on this and didn't just 'have a word' and forget about it.

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