to think SIL should have stayed away from us?

(26 Posts)
ShadowFall Sat 28-Jun-14 11:57:23

We are visiting PILs at the minute. SIL lives near PILs.

Earlier this week, one of BILs (SILs husband) close relatives was taken ill with bacterial meningitis. SIL has been spending a lot of time visiting him,holding his hand etc n ITU. Relative is responding well to treatment although still in ITU.

Yesterday, SIL came round unannounced to PILs to see DCs (2.10 yrs & 9 months). MIL turned her away at the door in case she passed meningitis onto the DC - SIL apparently wasn't best pleased and said that it was "only bacterial meningitis" but went anyway. FIL, DH & I all agreed that MIL had acted correctly and it would be daft to risk it. Even if it is a small risk.

This morning, SIL appeared again unannounced and let herself into the house, declaring that she was only here to pick up something. MIL sent her home again.

AIBU to think that after being sent home yesterday, SIL might have realised that we don't want her around the DC so soon after being exposed to meningitis and at least have rung before coming round?

Hissy Sat 28-Jun-14 12:02:29

Wtaf does she think she's doing? Good on your MIL for sending her off, many threads on here would have been different.

Madlizzy Sat 28-Jun-14 12:04:25

'Only' bacterial???? Does she not understand that that's the more dangerous one? Stupid woman!

WashingFanatic Sat 28-Jun-14 12:05:10

Er...isn't the clue in the name? 'Bacterial' meningitis - as in caused by bacteria, not viral and not catchable?

MyFairyKing Sat 28-Jun-14 12:05:39

I never knew it was contagious.

MalibuStacy Sat 28-Jun-14 12:07:27

WashingFanatic, bacterial infections are catchable!

Fedupofplaystation Sat 28-Jun-14 12:08:14

It is contagious and is usually worse than viral. YANBU

MalibuStacy Sat 28-Jun-14 12:08:16

… in fact, bacterial meningitis is the worst one to have.

longtallsally2 Sat 28-Jun-14 12:09:01

Washing - bacterial meningitis is contagious - the bacteria live in the throat and mouth, so can be passed on by handkerchiefs, sneezes and kissing

DinoSnores Sat 28-Jun-14 12:10:00

Most bacterial meningitis in adults is NOT contagious (such as Strep pneumoniae) and the types that are contagious are only caught by prolonged contact, what we call 'kissing contacts'.

If the meningitis is a contagious type, then Public Health get involved doing contact tracing.

www.cdc.gov/meningitis/bacterial.html

Humansatnav Sat 28-Jun-14 12:10:51

Stupid, selfish woman. Bacteria Meningitis is contagious, everyone in close contact with the patient will be offered antibiotics. ( personal experience) YADNBU , and neither is your MIL .

DinoSnores Sat 28-Jun-14 12:14:05

"Bacteria Meningitis is contagious, everyone in close contact with the patient will be offered antibiotics."

Lots of different bugs cause bacterial meningitis. It depends on the bug as to the need for antibiotics.

Nomama Sat 28-Jun-14 12:15:52

So her mum told her to go home and explained why and she came back in a snit?

She really does know how bad it is, she has spent time in ITU holding the hand of a grown man who was floored by it.

Thank your MIL and get ready to tell SIL how selfish she was, calmly. She needs a good shake!

Whatsonemore Sat 28-Jun-14 12:16:38

My 11week old contracted bacterial meningitis and we were very lucky that he pulled through - please make your SIL aware of how serious this illness is - it is not
"Just bacterial meningitis". Children and adults alike
Die from this illness daily and those lucky enough to survive often have severe after effects - loss of limbs, deafness and memory loss and learning difficulties to name but a few

everythingisonmurtaghlist Sat 28-Jun-14 12:18:40

It is very contagious...my bf's partner had it and while my instinct was to go to her and hold her hand I could not as have a toddler - she was just about 2 at the time. My fil worked in a hospital and spoke to a neuro consultant and he wanted to know how long it had been since my dd had been around my friend and her partner. Turns out it had been about 4 weeks which the Dr said should be fine but had it been within a fortnight and my dd had ANY signs of illness we should take her straight to a&e advising that she was unwell but had been in contact with someone with bacterial meningitis within the last fortnight.

my friend's partner was put in a medically induced coma and the Dr my fil spoke said if a fit and healthy 30 year old was struggling to fight it off then a child would be in a lot of trouble.

can't believe she would take the risk of passing it on to any of you especially if she's having to watch someone suffer from it. Ridiculously irresponsible.

Olga79 Sat 28-Jun-14 12:24:10

It really does depend on the type of bacteria that caused the meningitis. Two people had bacterial meningitis whilst I was in halls at university, we were given antibiotics after one and not the other because it was a different level of risk.

If they've not given close contacts prophylactic antibiotics, I think it's reasonable to assume that the risk to people in contact with her is negligible.

everythingisonmurtaghlist Sat 28-Jun-14 12:42:49

The sil might have the luxury of knowing the type of meningitis, she might not have needed antibiotics thereby indicating the risk is negligible BUT I would not take even a negligible risk with someone else children.

ShadowFall Sat 28-Jun-14 12:48:26

I don't know how contagious the type of bacterial meningitis involved is, just that the doctors have established that it is bacterial meningitis following a lumbar puncture test. SIL hasn't mentioned prophylactic antibiotics being given to anyone else.

But bearing in mind how serious bacterial meningitis is, I'd rather not chance it, even if it is one of the less contagious varieties.

MyFairyKing Sat 28-Jun-14 13:07:52

No, of course you wouldn't want to risk it. I understand totally and YAsooooooNBU.

I really had no idea that it was so contagious though. Every day is a school day on MN.

redexpat Sat 28-Jun-14 13:39:34

Your MIL sounds wonderful.

How old is SIL? I'm assuming she didn't appreciate the risk, or is she usually selfish?

Luggagecarousel Sat 28-Jun-14 15:49:03

Her husband is in ITU? poor woman.

It depends on the type. It occasionally arises among students at school, If it is the infectious type, everyone from the class is contacted.There are other types which are not catching at all

CuntWagon Sat 28-Jun-14 15:54:02

While I understand your concerns, if I was her I would want some support from my mum not to be told off and sent away!

Heathcliff27 Sat 28-Jun-14 15:56:51

It isnt the SIL's husband thats in ITU, read the OP, its one of his relatives.

phantomnamechanger Sat 28-Jun-14 16:05:02

for once a MIL that got it right. according to many on here, lots of MILs would go behind your back in secret and let the SIL see DC against your wishes.

Does SIL have DC? I'm guessing not? I'm thinking she she's it as her "right" to have access to see the little cuties but does not see her responsibility to protect them from serious infection. All the while she is thinking she's fine/not ill so why the fuss. Just selfish. And to come back the next day and let herself in having been sent packing the day before, well, how thick skinned is the woman. Take the hint you silly moo!

monkeymamma Sat 28-Jun-14 16:08:51

Yanbu and your mil was nbu either. Whatever the risk and I'm no expert, you don't expose other people's tiny children ESPECIALLY after being told no. I'd be livid.

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