I've hit 21 and a half stone. I am ashamed of myself.(119 Posts)
I need to change; I'm tired, irritable and am avoiding seeing my family due to my size. They have all told me that if I carry on I will be 'the size of a house'.
I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.
I need a diet where the amount of food is measured for me and I know what to eat when to eat.
I'm getting heart palpitations and severe pain and fatigue.
I am ashamed, I don't want to go out because I feel judged and everyday tasks are such a struggle.
This is me asking for help, I don't know why I have posted it on here I'm just at such a loss about myself.
Hi Babs. Can I ask, what help have you had (if any) so far?
You are brave to ask for help and I know there are loads of people on here with good advice and experience.
Well that's the thing isn't it? You never really notice weight for ages, somehow you can be blind. Then all of a sudden you see it. And your shocked sad upset embarrassed angry defeated hopeful and everything all at once.
I'm starting ww. I have several stone. I'm sorry (?!) but not as much. It's baby weight, 2 babs in 3yrs. Sugar is my downfall. I don't care how you choose to but maybe we can keep in touch and try to lick the extra a bit?
Frankly a stone would make me kiss the floor....
I think it's great you've decided to do something about it. I don't know the details of the individual diet plans but what about Weightwatchers or Slimming World? I think the weekly support would be great for you. Keep going, you want to change so I think you're on the right road now. A friend has lost a lot of weight in the past year by walking 5 miles a day, rain or shine.
Thank you for replying.
I have been to slimming world and weight watchers but was too ashamed to go in the end as I was by far this biggest one there.
I have anxiety issues so I find it extremely hard to talk to people and going to another group gets my heart racing just thinking about it.
I'm an absolute mess.
Well, good on you for getting started! There's a weight loss forum on here, don't know how to link on my phone, sorry! I'd definitely recommend MyFitnessPal, set a goal for yourself and put in everything you eat. It tells you how much a portion should be too, so don't make any more than that. Maybe try to speak to someone about your emotional connection to food?
Sorry, I'm sure someone much more helpful than me will be along soon, good luck though!
I tried slimming world which was great but have decided calorie counting is the best way for me.
Have you spoken to your GP?
What about one of those diets when they send you the meals, so you know you can't get portion sizes wrong?
Well done for facing up to it & wanting to do something about it. Slimming world is great as you're not measuring too much & can generally eat as much as you like as long as you're on plan. You never feel hungry as generally you fill up on vegetables & fruit. It's really just a healthy eating plan, although obviously you need to limit the unhealthy stuff (chocolate, alcohol, bread etc etc).
Have you seen your GP? They may be able to offer advice on what would be most suitable for you.
Good luck - I'm sure you'll do well.
Cross post - just seen you're not a big fan of SW. Whereabouts are you? I go regularly in the Midlands so happy to go with you & my group is lovely & supportive.
Pmd u. Maybe we can be a new group? I can do 7lb but get cocky and fall off again.
No need to be embaressed going to WW, everyone is there for the same reason and they are so encouraging.
At my heaviest I was 19 st 7, I'm 14 st 10 now, I thought I'd never be this weight again, but it can be done.
I have done WW before but can't get to regular meetings now so just eat healthy foods and calorie count.
I'm sure someone local to you on here would be willing to go with you.
I have thought about the diets where they control your portion size, I definitely need something like that but I end up being told that I am not eating enough for my weight and so I go back to over eating.
I've been through a lot and food has been my comforter but it is also ruining my life.
I haven't been to see my GP, I'm not sure what they could do.
I lost 2st using WW on-line. It was great and the community forum is so supportive. People have lost loads doing WW -it really works.
If you are over 40 and over a certain BMI then the GP can refer you to WW and you can go for free too, if you change your mind. The GP could be a good starting point anyway.
Would you be suitable for a gastric band on the nhs? That would help with portion size and you'd then get used to smaller portions.
Hi Babs. I understand where you are are coming from. I'm around 19 stone 10 myself. At my heaviest I was 22 stone 5. I need to change too. I want to start Slimming World, but feel quite ashamed to go and I keep putting it off. If you're anywhere near me I'd be happy to go with you and we could start together? I'm in West Yorkshire.
I'm in my early 20's if that helps.
I think you've made a great step forward by posting here.
I would suggest you going to your GP & seeing what help they can give you.
I'm in the south east but thank you for your kind offers.
I have no family or friends so I have to bring my 2DC wherever I go which isn't ideal for them.
What does your typical daily food diary look like?
Could you be super honest with yourself and write down everything you eat or drink through the next week. Start tmz maybe. Plus any excercise you do
Then take a look at it and see where you could easily change. Do you actually eat regularly through day then snack during the evening for example.
I think the best thing isnt all those faddy diets. It's a regular healthy day of food and excercise. Can you do the food diary for a week as mentioned then look and see what items/ kinds of food you can change
Then write yourself a meal plan for the week based on 3 meals and 3 snacks a day. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. You don't want to start something faddy which is unrealistic and leaves you hungry and them tempted to not follow.
Work out what healthy snacks, meals etc you like and only buy in the ingredients for them. Give any junk food to food banks or bin.
OP you can turn this around I have a friend who has lost 6 stone and it has changed her life. She is like a new person confidence wise. She has had many setbacks (putting it on and then off again) but with a lot of determination she has eventually got there. You can do it, please do not be embarrassed about going to WW or SW that is what they are there for and no one cares how big you are. People just attend for their own personal weight issues not to gloat or judge and the groups are very supportive. You will never look back, it is now the time for you to put yourself first and care about you. Good luck.
It's awful when you hit the realisation that things have to change but the concept of making the change is just so daunting. Been there so many times .
I think this could be the start of something wonderful for you. I'm also currently trying to lose weight and would be happy to hold your hand along the way. I totally get the psychological aspect of being overweight too and you will never hear the old eat less move more bullshit from me because I know it's so much more than that.
I would recommend Slimming World as at first you don't have to control portions, you can just get used to eating the right things in big portions and then you will naturally reduce how much you eat. If you cannot face going to a group, you could do it online and we could provide the support
I used to be 21 stone and lost 10 stone with SW in 2002/03. I lost a stone a month for 7 months and it took a year to lose the last 3.
Last August I was 16 stone 10 im now 14 stone 7 im back at SW. it takes a lot longer to lose the weight now im in my 40s. And ive HAD to cut the portion sizes I no longer have pasta OR diet coke.
And please PLEASE don't lose the weight too quickly. I will link a thread in here to explain why.
I think good on you. You know you have a problem, you've identified the root - the portion sizes so actually that is further on than many. What Michael Winner used to do is not change what he ate but halved everything. So start by putting what you would normally eat on a plate then chop it in half and throw the excess away so you can't go back. Today I saw in Tesco some normal utensils like kitchen serving spoon, ladle, slice, etc that were called 'one portion' so using them would portion out the food for you.
Another idea. My son has to carb count everything because he is diabetic and we have a brilliant book and ap called carbs and cals. It shows photos of different portions of food, ie, mashed potato with the carbs and cals so you get a page of six portions of mash with the amounts. Takes a while to start off with but after a while you just know what the amounts are. This type of visual cue might really help you because weights and measures are too abstract and too much of a faff.
You will lose weight. Cut out all fruit juice and fizzy drinks. Drink lots of water. Cut out all takeawys. Add in colourful food. If your food is brown that's not too good. Ensure there are patches of green on the plate.
You can do it. Now...can you motivate me?
Hi Babs. I have been where you are. I was always bigger than my peers, and remember being weighed at the doctors when I was 14 and I Was 14 stone. I met my hubby when I was 17, and was a size 16-18. My weight went up and down and I was a size 16 when we married. I ballooned when I was pregnant. I ended up a size 24. I then lost 4 stone with ww to become pregnant again, and after the birth I was again a size 24 and 21 stone. I started ww again when he was 2 weeks old just myself at home, and returned to classes a few weeks later. I was very determined and lost weight every single week and a year and a bit later I weighed 11 stone 10 and was at target. I dropped down to 10 stone 10 at my lightest and have since stabilised at around 12 stone. This was 5 years ago, and I have had a baby since.
I still obsess about my weight if I am honest, and am always on a diet but I am so happy. My life has changed unrecognisably since then, I even gave up work to pursue my dream career which I am doing very successfully so far. Until then, I had terrible self esteem and thought I could never achieve anything. Now I feel I can do anything I put my mind to.
I suppose I am saying if I can do this, you can - I promise!! You need to focus on your motivations and break it down into little chunks, I never ever thought beyond the next half stone. Even losing a couple of stone will do a huge amount for your health. Try and get more active too. At first I just parked further away from work, took the stairs instead of the lift, spend more time cleaning the house etc with good music on! I built up gradually and now I cycle my commute everyday and go to the gym twice a week. Just build up a bit at a time x
You can do WeightWatchers online so you don't need to go and register. Or you can do something like dietchef where pre-prepared meals are delivered.
Or something like lighterlife or the Cambridge diet where a lot of it is shakes and you're supposed to lose rapidly.
What happened to me is in this thread here.
I lost it too quickly and became ill as a result.
If you are on facebook search for HOOP (Helping Overcome Obesity Problems) they have a fantastic closed support group which is full of people facing similar battles and at different points in their battles so is a great source of support.
having admitted you have a problem is half the battle. I agree with going to see your GP depending on area they can access a variety of different support.
It is hard to chance, and ultimatly only you can make the change but take any help and support you can to get there. See it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet and even if it is a case of making one small change at a time its steps in the right direction.
Yes airmingers And develop gallstones as a result
Hi babs you can do this. I lost alot of weight on ww. First going to meetings but then online. I have a stone left to go. You "might" be the biggest person at that meeting but you know what? everyone else there was probably the "biggest" person there on their first week. Everyone will know how you feel but they were all in the same boat as you.
I remember hiding outside terrified my first week and sneaking in at the end to be weighed. But once I started seeing the numbers and watching the lbs drop away I got more confidence and starting going to the start and sitting through the talks. We would never dream of being mean to a new person because that was us once!
The sooner you start the sooner you turn your life around. Now I can eat a piece of chocolate AND put the rest back in the fridge for later. I never thought I could do that!
Pretty I do that too. Now I only eat choc on special occasions so I had some at Xmas and then at Easter. The next treat is my birthday cake in June
I know how you feel op. The doc told me its make or break regarding ny weight. Im going to need the cpap machine for sleep due to sleep apnea and may need oxygen long term because im so nig.
all this can be solved if I lost weight.
I too need someone to tell me what to eat and when. We dont have a diet chef thing where we are. If you need a bud im here! Im going to start this week. I know drastically changing wont work so im going to redyce my portion size, meal plan and NOT EAT TAKEAWAY!!! For one week. Here goes!
Calculate how much calories you eat ATM and then cut 300 calories down. Once you get used to that cut it down slowly another 300 calories until you eat the recommended calories.
I find that suddenly cutting 1000 odd calories a day will leave you feeling hungry.
Drink masses of water. Eat plain yoghurt and small amounts of fresh fruit, regularly.
Have breakfast daily - whatever you want. But the rest of the day, fruit and yoghurt and water. If you're desperate, porridge.
Walk. It won't be far or fast at first but do it anyway.
I have many physiological problems which are associated with food.
I eat the same thing everyday but what I eat would honestly feed a family if not more.
I eat processed foods, ice cream, crisps, drink fizzy and carry on like this all day. My only motivation to exercise is walking to the shop (down the road) to buy it all.
I don't feel full, ever; I can eat and eat and not feel any effects. After about half an hour I'm eating again.
Just putting socks on I am sweating.
I can't believe I am admitting it on here but I find life so hard now, I have no influence on the world at all except the supermarkets profits.
Babs well done in admitting you have a problem it's the first step.
Start by cutting out pop then. Or only have one glass with meals (not snacks, just your main meals) drink water instead.
Can you cook?
How far is your walk to the shop? For now try to just walk a little further each week. Build it up slowly. Its not a race, and long term change will take a while to establish
I have lost 5 stone nearly in the last year, I know it is hard to get started but it will be worth it. Take a photo of yourself tonight to be your "before" photo, that way you can see the changes as you lose weight and it will hopefully keep you going.
Hi babs you mentioned you have not yet seen your GP, and arent sure what they can do to help.
I would recommend starting your "new me" project (thats what it can be!) by making an appointment with your GP. This is about your general health and to get support to start the ball rolling. For a start they can take some basic stats like blood pressure and pulse, because what you will find as you improve your eating and hopefully increase exercise even if doing extra walking (as I know you need to care for your DCs as well), your general welbeing will improve and your bp and pulse will also change for the better. That can be a good morale booster.
Don't feel ashamed or give yourself a hard time, better to take some positive steps and be kind to yourself, its no crime being overweight, you will soon crack it, with all the support you get on here!
Also do it for the long term. No crash diets or faddy stuff. Your GP or practice nurse can give a basic food list, then you can use this as a basis to think about some healthy options. I know it sounds daft but dont call it a diet, as that has associations with being hungry and being deprived of nice stuff. Just see it as a new way of life!
Keep us posted!
Babs go to your doctor. Tell them you are ready to loose weight.
I weigh more than you. For 12 months I have been seeing a dietitian and a psychologist after a referral from my doctor.
They are all about the long term and are like cheerleaders if I lose a pound.
Also, in my experience the key to keeping it off is in your motive. If you lose weight for a wedding/holiday then you will gain it back after that event. Much better to focus on your health for motivation then there is no end date to the healthy eating if you see what I mean.
Ive lost 2 stone since last August. My weight loss is quite slow this time. Ive dropped a lot more in inches though. A 22 to a 16.
In fact I was so concerned that it was so slow I went to the GP.
She told me she hates slimming clubs and this is one of the reasons why. She told me slow and steady is the best way to go. In fact after my experiences im thinking of starting a campaign to have slimming consultants undergo medical qualifications before they can run a group. You wouldn't have a drug or alcohol counsellor who had no proper qualifications I do not see why this should be treated any differently.
You've taken the first step by admitting to yourself you have a problem. Don't underestimate how far you've come simply by doing that.
You say if you eat healthily you don't control your portions, but if you eat genuinely healthy foods larger portions will not matter so much. I suspect your idea of healthy eating can be improved on. So tell us honestly, what one days healthy eating would look like for you. I'm sure we can help.
Dear Babs, sorry to hear you feeling so low. You have taken the first step by posting. Now let's think about how to help.
Would you consider low carb? There is another bootcamp starting in a week and the support is AMAZING. you can eat lots of v tasty food, you feel full and you get good losses. I can't link on my phone but if you search bootcamp or the poster BIWI you will find it.
Take care and good luck. You are on the way yo a new healthier life. Well done and very best wishes.
HeyA, I am 25 and just over 20 stone. I have started ww this week because I hate myself at this weight.
It took a long time to admit any of this to myself let alone anyone else. I went to my dr and have been referred for 12 weeks for free to weightwatchers.
I have been 'on plan' for four days and I'm doing ok. After the first two it feels normal Ish...
I don't agree with all they say as it's very low fat focused and you can have fizzy. But I have given myself the week of doing it properly to see how much I could lose.
Pm me if you have any questions
Babs don't be so hard on yourself . There is some good advice on here as ever - first stop your GP I agree.
Babs you can probably get away with eating larger but healthy portions and still lose weight You are only in your early 20s When I was 29/30 I got away with eating larger portions too.
its only now im older (40) that I HAVE to drop portion size or I don't lose.
Hi Babs - I did WW online, you don't have to go to meetings. I never did! If you have an iphone or iPad then there is an app, alternatively just use the website.
My best mate has problems with her weight, she is size 22 and is desperate for a baby so she is on diet chef and swears by it.
Babs - if you're interested, the next Bootcamp starts on 5 May
I'll be posting tomorrow about how to plan for it, so there'll be lots of general info about food, meal planning, what you can/can't eat, etc.
You would be very welcome to join us. The support is amazing, and is really what keeps people focused/on track, I think.
You can expect to see a couple of weeks of fairly significant weight loss, and then after that it will be slower - but as Darkesteyes says, it's slow weight loss that you're after for a longer term and sustainable benefit.
Feel free to PM me if you want to know more/chat about it.
Babs I have no words of wisdom, I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck. You've taken the first step in admitting you'd like some help, so for you. I definitely think you should see your GP as they may well be able to help you x
So pleased to see BIWI here. Please have a read. The way of eating is eminently do able and the losses are great. The threads are hugely supportive and welcoming. We can post our weight / losses but many posters prefer to start with an anonymous weight and just post losses. You'd be very welcome. Worth a thought?
Poor you. I must say that reading you, I think you are eating to fill a psychological pain/void rather than for anything else, hen the never satisfied feeling.
Eating numbs the pain in a way.
I would ask my GP for counselling before embarking on any strict diet.
As others said go to GP to see what support is available. 'diets' don't work but making workable, permanent changes to your lifestyle and diet do.
babs - can i recommend "my fitness pal" its a phone app and its free. I lost a stone on it - i have slipped off the wagon but am maintaining, i have another four stone to go - i'm 5'2" and now weigh 14 stone. I started to get really bad heartburn and it scared me - so i changed my eating habits completely.
I honestly believe the processed foods are your worst enemy here - it was the same for me, i got into a habit of eating utter shite. Mcdonalds, fish and chips, dominos - and not just once in a blue moon - all totally calorific but hardly touch the sides, i mean, i can eat a whole large dominos pizza to myself - i would eat it until i felt sick . This was probably 8 weeks ago now. So not that long. There is a website by the NHS where there is a 12 week diet plan, you don't need weight watchers and you don't need slimming world or any other gimmicky bullshit plan that actually wants people to fail (or lets face it, they would go out of business) The nhs site says that it takes about 12 weeks to form a habit - i have changed what i eat, i discovered i like cous cous and quinoa, i have always enjoyed salads, bulk out on veg, cut back on bread and processed carbohydrates, limit fat - but make sure you find nice things to eat. I am actually enjoying food alot more now. I think controlling portion sizes is a good idea too, but if you are bigger you will need to eat more - if you starve yourself you will be counter productive because your metabolism will slow down. drink plenty of water - change to diet drinks if you can, i used to hate diet coke so stopped completely, have now had the odd can of diet coke and you know what, its ok - i think if i made a direct switch it would have tasted vile as its not what you expect when you have coke.
Please don't be put off going to ww Babs because you think you're going to be the biggest one there. You probably won't be and the whole point of everyone being there is to get the weight off.
If you've been before and didn't find the meetings helped perhaps you need to find a different meeting, there's usually several within a few miles of one another.
Find a good group - if you go in the day time you'll probably find other young mothers who bring their DC- make a start and when the pounds start dropping off you'll feel so much better and it will change your life.
Be kind to yourself and good luck.
oh and yes, do go back to your dr, ask for an exercise/weight loss referral - you will have access to advice and potential reductions on gym use.
Have to rush out so haven't read all thread - just wanted to say please don't be ashamed.
You have got it a bit wrong but you can sort that. We all screw up a bit sometimes. No shame please. You haven't cheated or double-crossed someone - or stolen or lied about someone - or done something that will damage someone whilst you profit. You just got your eating a bit out of balance for a while.
It'll be ok, (not easy - but it will)
Cricket I am going to memorise your post. That was lovely
Babs - I would thoroughly recommend the bootcamp BIWI linked to a few posts above. I lost over a stone on it, and that was with several slip ups. The next one starts on May 5th, so you could have a week of cutting down your carb intake ready for it. I found it's great for people who can't stop binging - the cravings all but disappear after a week. And there is so much support and advice on the chat threads. I'm starting again on 5th May, it would be great to see you there
Babs - You really are en route to that weight loss by admitting your problems here.
You have taken such a huge step & there is lots of advice about where to take the next step.
You don't have to do it tomorrow - you might be better to look at all the links & advice tomorrow & see what suits you.
You really are brave to have posted all of this & I am sure you will now succeed in losing weight.
Please don't do the Cambridge Diet or any meal replacement milk shake stuff. My friend yo yo dieted for 30 years doing those and each time ended up bigger.
All the other advice is good.
Lose the weight slowly and steadily.
You can do it.
best wishes to you.
Agree with PP about myfitnesspal - I downloaded it this week and have lost 5 lbs having not managed to lose anything since Feb! It really makes you realize what you take in and use up calorie wise. And it's obviously private. If you are bigger you will be amazed at how much of a difference small changes in your life will make - walk to the shop that's a bit further away, or read/watch TV for an hour and not eat anything. Sit in the bath for ages! Once you start you will get more confidence to carry on. Best of luck - you have so much support here.
Babs, you can do this! <dons cheerleading outfit and picks up pom poms>
Try the weight loss support threads on here. Personally, I did BIWI's low carb bootcamp and lost 2 stone, but you could pick anything that appeals to you. The important thing is that you can post at midnight that you're craving chocolate and there'll be someone to hold your hand and keep you right. It's totally anonymous so you can say anything without being judged, and the support is amazing. It helps immeasurably to have 24/7 support! Real life classes didn't come often enough for me, whereas MN was always there.
yes, myfitnesspal is good - the only problem i have with it is that the actual calorie counts are added by users and they can be broad - to say the least! so long as you bear that in mind then its great. Am going to be starting that again soon.
Samstarman - breakfast then no meals for the rest of the day except yoghurt and fruit that's quite drastic..
Well done for posting I started ww at 17. 5 and have been slow and steady with weight loss. Take each meal at a time and you will do it.
I would encourage you to look at low carb bootcamp. I was about 5 stone overweight, but I ate well, just too much, and I hated being hungry because of past emotional issues. Low carb has changed my life - I simply don't feel hungry and eat small portions because it chemically affects you to do that. It might look hard, but if you have an idea what to replace carbs with, it's so easy. I am 22lb down in 8 weeks so far and I don't have to think about it, and I don't feel hungry. If my kids are having potatoes, I have mashed cauliflower, I have omelettes instead of pasta and enjoy many foods I haven't eaten for years because they were fattening! For years I have felt I would never be able to change, but now I KNOW I will lose this weight. It feels fantastic
Have a look at the threads x
The amazing adventures of diet girl is a good blog and a great book
I could have written your post Babs. You are so not alone.
please don't be ashamed of asking for help - that is a brave step. You cannot solve a problem until you recognise it.
you know that all the rubbish you eat is killing you. whether it is physical or psychological issues that are making you eat it doesn't matter - but you need proper help. Please not faddy diets or scammers, and do not expect a quick fix. But there IS a way out.
please start with the GP and ask for a referral for the help you need, and a nutritionist who will help you understand what your body needs.
For me this mantra worked:
Losing weight is hard, being fat is hard. Choose your hard.
There is no easy way to do it, it will need you digging deep and not having the food you want. It'll mean not eating what your friend/husband/sister is eating and feeling hungry some of the time. I repeated that phrase over and over every time I reached for the biscuit box which was v v often.
But I promise you that once you get going and see the lbs drop it'll become addictive. I had an app that I recorded my weight on every week, it calculated my bmi as I went and seeing it edging towards just "overweight" from obese, and then into "normal" was so so motivating.
Good luck! It will be hard at times but it will be so, so worth it. I promise.
OP you CAN change as you care about your weight/situation. Good on you for asking for help.
I wanted to lose some weight earlier this year and used the Livestrong 'My Plate' calorie and exercise tracker. Works well for me as I can 'see' what Im doing and know the calorific value of everything. & Im someone who never ever believed in calorie counting but it works for me. I exercised at home as couldn't face going to the gym - you tube was my best friend, loads of exercise clips on there and some are short ie 15 mins so you dont feel intimidated before you start by knowing you have to slog away for 1 hour. Id space out exercise during the day. Not sure if you or anyone else on this post has used a Rebounder (mini trampoline) but I was shocked at how quickly using it daily made me use weight. Even when using it whilst watching tv. & its easy on your joints. Im talkng about home exercise as you mentioned you have young DCs OP, so may not be so easy for you to get out and about.
In between all that I looked at the weight loss threads on here, I found lots of good tips.
Thank you for your kind replies.
My weight has been a problem for me my whole life.
I have had a bad childhood, a DM who wasn't interested in me and a DF who abused me. My weight has been increasing since my early teens. I hid food under my bed because as soon as I ate I was happy and for that moment I could forget about the wrong in my life. I was raped twice in my teens and I was bullied at school which made me eat more . I met my EX and had never felt happier, he walked out on me and I lost all of my friends so the only thing that made me happy in the evenings while my DC's were in bed was food and for an hour or so I could block out everything.
It is such a huge part of my life and it always has been, this must sound crazy to others but it is like an addiction which I need in order to make me happy.
Now after I have eaten I feel so depressed because of my mobility and mood swings. I've lost everything and I guess I'm scared of having to lose the one thing that has been a constant in my life but I want to be around for my DC's.
I'll definitely join the boot camp, it sound like a lot of support which I definitely need. Thank you.
Im going to be honest here. Cutting my portion sizes down it took my stomach a full year to get used to it.
And I cant eat citrus fruit because it gives me colic so its not easy when some healthy foods cause problems.
It does take a while to get used to it I find it helps to focus on other things. A raunchy novel helps no end
I struggle with portion sizes too. I suddenly realised that when I or dh were dishing a meal, our plates would be the same size. I am 5' 5'' and a smallish build (although overweight) and dh is 6' 2'' and built like a house...no wonder I was overweight really.
The only 'diet' I have ever done that has worked (and i'm still doing it currently) is the 16 8 fast.
There are no restrictions on food, no calorie counting, the only rule is that you can only eat for 8 hours out of 24, then 'fast' for 16. It sounds really difficult but for me it has been amazing in reducing the amount I eat, considering I struggle with portions. It is also supposed to burn fat as you go into temporary ketosis during hours 12-16, but not enough to put you in starvation mode.
I eat between 1.30pm and 9.30pm, and fast between 9.30pm and 1.30pm the next day. The only thing you are allowed during your fast period is water, or black coffee or tea.
Typical day for me is: 7am - black coffee
Until 1.30pm - Water (and lots of it)
1.30pm -Lunch - A salad, with boiled eggs, chicken, tinned sardines or tuna. Sometimes I have soup and a sandwich instead.
5.30pm - 'Breakfast' - Porridge or muesli and fruit, sometimes natural yoghurt.
9pm - Dinner. Cooked meal, like spag bol, chicken dinner, stirfry etc.
I find that because you're eating your 3 meals in a short space of time, you just don't get hungry in between or have time for snacks. So far i've lost two stone since 1st Jan, and I have one more to go to my target weight.
I'm normally very sceptical of 'fad' diets, I hate herbalife and the like. This isn't a diet to me though, it's just a schedule of eating that is easy to maintain and as a bonus, you tend to lose weight from it.
Shit Op Just caught your post at 21.37 Im so sorry you've been through all that. Have you talked to your GP about it
Babs - good luck. You can do this. And ask your GP about a dietician and counselling too. You can do this!!
Samstarman - breakfast then no meals for the rest of the day except yoghurt and fruit that's quite drastic..
Don't forget the emergency porridge. Breakfast must include protein and should be a hot meal. You could have vegetable soup, later, too, if you wanted to.
Have you had any counselling for this? I can promise you that you will have fantastic support and understanding on the Bootcamp threads - but I'm not sure that even that will be enough.
Samstarman if I did that I would be incredibly constipated. Sorry but it sounds like eating disorder territory to me.
Samstar - have you lost weight doing that? Is it kind of low carbing?
I agree re just breakfast, yoghurt and fruit being eating disorder path. Not a balanced diet and OP will be starving so just return to bad habits.
So sorry about your past traumas Babs, I would say the need to get to your GP is even greater given your history.
Babs I notice from other threads that you are living in a hostel with your DC at the moment. Do you think that your problem with weight and food could be because of other problems in your life at the moment?
I agree with what others have said, Slimfast etc are only good as a short term fix, you need to learn to change your entire outlook towards food. I know how very hard it can be. The problem with dieting is that no matter what, you have to eat something every day.
What I especially hate is the way that people treat the over weight like they have no idea that they are overweight or what it is that they eat that is bad for them. No one is under the illusion that chocolate, cake and Maccy Ds is healthy.
System - I am going to try that tomorrow.. Do you sleep okay having a meal at 9pm, guess I could swap it about a bit!
Op- I am single mum and eat when my children are in bed I am trying to make better choices like few slices of brown toast with microwaved mushrooms on, or cereal.
Sometimes I clean my teeth early and it stops me completely!
Please make an apt to speak to your gp
I think the first thing to work on is your self esteem.It is no crime to be overweight it is not 'disgusting' or 'shameful'.You are no less of a person(figuratively ) and no less worthy of respect whether you are 7 stone or 27 stone
You're not moving a mountain, you're moving a big pile of stones. Start with one small thing and keep going. Good luck x
Babs, you said earlier that you eat and eat and never feel full. That's so likely to be because you are eating foods designed by the food industry to make you crave them.
Truly, to give yourself a chance, start by eating healthily in a way that you really could sustain for life. Add exercise - might be very light for now but you'll be able to increase it.
What are some of your dreams for your life - whether connected to losing weight or not? Are there things you'd love to do with your life that could give you that buzz of happiness which food has given you until now. You will need something to replace food if you have a life long dependency on that buzz. What could make you truly happy, instead of just momentarily sedated by sugar?
ChocolateSpiders...yes, I sleep fine. But my natural eating schedule has always been to eat late at night (not quite that late in the past).
You can do your 8 hours at any time, whichever works best for you. I choose 1.30-9.30 because i'd rather get the 'hard bit' out of the way in the morning, then be able to eat for the rest of the day. I know some people who enjoy a big breakfast, so eat between 7am and 3pm and still get excellent results...for me that would be a nightmare though, i'd never last from 3pm - bedtime.
I found the first few days I was absolutely starving by 12.30pm and counting down the minutes...then your body just adapts and now i don't even think of it. I sometimes get to 2ish before I even remember. I'm also hardly ever hungry now, I really think it must do wonders in shrinking your stomach in a fairly short space of time.
I am on BIWIs bootcamp. Definitely come join! The more the merrier, no more starving and easy to cut down on portions. X
Last year I lost 5.5 stone in 9months, using my fitness pal. Today I finished a 10k race as fastest (ahem), Vetran and was actually the 3rd lady finisher. You can do it. Truly. And I say that as a complete glutton.
Monty that is amazing achievement... After losing a few stone I started the Nhs couch to 5k and I have done 4 5k runs now (parkrun) it feels good
babs I am going to do bootcamp too, yoive inspired me
I find it so hard. The root of my problem is that I get a kick from some foods esp sweet/creamy/chocolate and it is a drug.
I am in SE too. East Kent. If you are local it would be nice to have a friend (have no friends locally)
Haven't read all the advice here, but maybe you need to deal with your anxiety and depression too. I live in Mexico and a dear friend of mine goes to Overeaters Anonymous and loves it as well as having made great friends there.
But on top of that she is on anti-depressants and recently had her prescription changed and her psychiatrist said that the new medicine would also treat her obsessive eating, which it did and she is slowly but surely losing weight.
One thing to point out is that for us, in the Western world, when we feel hunger it is very rarely because our stomachs are truly empty. Feeling hungry is controlled entirely by our hormones. Eating a high level of carbs in a short period of time dumps a load of sugar into the blood stream, and so the body has to release a huge amount of insulin to deal with it. Trouble is, the very quick drop in blood sugar that this provokes makes us feel hungry.
It's why you feel hungry, typically, at 11am and 3pm - because our 'typical' breakfast and lunches are high in carbs - cereal, toast and fruit juice followed by a sandwich, packet of crisps and a biscuit/chocolate bar.
Leptin and grehlin are also important hormones that are involved in hunger.
Hi Babs I have only skimmed this thread but just wanted to say that I've had a gastric band and its the best thing I ever did.
Go and ask your GP if you qualify for one and if you don't then please consider going private. I went to a very well respected surgeon in Belgium and after the exchange rate my band cost £3500.
This seems like a lot but when I added it up, I was spending that on food, snacks, junk, drinks, meals and takeaways anyway over the course of a year.
What i'm saying is, even if you have to fund it yourself, after a year you'll have saved that much anyway.
Babs, you never feel full because you try to fill a gap with food that food will never fill. The gap is a happy childhood, loving, caring parents, a happy relationship.
I think you have to address the issues in your life you try to smother with food. They will not go away.
Your GP can get therapy for you. Have you ever talked about it?
You are self medicating with food. A diet without counselling or therapy will not have a lasting result.
You are at a point where you want to change. You can change, but you need to accept help. Good luck, you can do it.
Sorry to hear.
I am a very big problem with food, eating healthy doesn't help me because I cannot control my portion size.
I eat processed foods, ice cream, crisps, drink fizzy and carry on like this all day. My only motivation to exercise is walking to the shop (down the road) to buy it all.
I don't currently have a weight problem (a recent thing) but have other health problems and am convinced that processed foods are the culprit. I have a very good meal time diet, but supplement those with salty snacks, specifically crisps. trust me, you are not the first person to open a large pack of crisps and finish it. They are SUPER addictive. I used to smoke (when a teenager, but not very heavily), and I think quitting smoking was easier (I still eat crisps all the time!).
I agree with other posters that reducing your crisps etc and fizzy drinks is probably the starting point, because it sounds like it will make a massive difference, not just to calorie intake but also to your energy level and your mood. I think this is at odds with advice to reduce meals at meal time. From my own experience, small meals lead to more snacking and my meals are much healthier than my snacks. I once tried to diet by reducing meal sizes and I just ended up eating more crisps in between meals.
it also sounds from your post that you are trying to tackle this problem alone. Having a friend/family member who can support you could help a lot. Good luck.
I lost 3st with ww two years ago and because of emotional eating it's been creeping back on. Breaking point 2y ago was when my scales went all the way around, back to zero and I was just under 19 stone. I have been doing ww again for a week now and I'm down 2lbs. It can be done (if I can, anyone can). I would never have gone to ww meeting by myself but a friend asked me to go with her. The group was so supportive and funny, I looked forward to meetings each week. Don't be put off by seeing people much thinner than you as most in my group started really big and were there to maintain their loss.
take a look at NHS choices for advice, then consider trying again to go to slimming world or have a look at one of their magazines online for inspiration. I have lost 2 stone with them recently and still have a long way to go but it really does not limit portions just some things making a drastic change to eating habits won't work for you, you need a plan for life really, slow and steady give it a go and when the weight starts to come off you will feel so much happier than you sound now. good luck, don't despair it can be done, there are lots of success stories out there that prove it. No reason why you can't be one of them if you want to, you are the only person stopping you. Just think as you enter the door that this is the last time you will be the weight you are when you start, and take it day by day.
Your GP may be a good place to start, a lot run good weight management courses in local hospitals. I personally opted for weight loss surgery after researching long term outcomes of successful dieting over surgery and decided surgery was my best option. I have absolutely no regrets.
I understand the feeling of not knowing where to start, it is very hard.
How has today been Babs?
I'm 22 stone and know so much how you feel. I need to re - start weightwatchers as I lost 4 stone on it but gave up too easy.
It's so so hard and we need to be strong Babs
Let's do it!!!
How is it going OP? Have you had any thought about how you can get help?
I agree with PP. I gave up a 30-40 a day smoking habit nearly 5 years ago with not a patch nor gum stick to help. But I cant stop eating.
If you feel comfortable, swimming is good exercise if you're overweight - it isn't weight-bearing so it won't put pressure on your bones in the same way something like running can. I see people of all shapes and sizes when I go, and some of them swim like fish and some of them (like me) are fairly weak swimmers and end up panicking if their feet can't touch the bottom. If you feel self-conscious, you could go early on in the day, and pop a T-shirt over your costume.
How are you feeling this week babs?
I think you've done really well just to post this. It's clear you need some counselling, even if it doesn't focus on food at all, as having been abused you have so much to deal with
It must be tempting to do an extreme diet but I fervently agree with those who've said it's a bad idea. Gradual changes won't lead to massive fast weightloss but it will be much more sustainable.
I have a lot of weight to lose too. I am taking a positive approach though, and aiming simply to nourish myself and increase the proportion of good healthy whole foods.
You could make say one small change a week, so you have time to get used to the first one before you add another. For example:
Walking past the shop for an extra five minutes, then turning round and coming back via the shop. You could gradually increase the amount you walk before getting back to the shop - maybe look on google maps and plan a route round the block.
Cut down fizzy drinks to mealtimes only as a pp said - then after a whole down to once a day, and then when you aren't so hooked on them (believe me I know how addictive they are) promise yourself you will no longer have them in the house and only buy them occasionally when out (I only have coke when out for a meal now - and I REALLY enjoy it)
Switch a white carb for a wholegrain carb (like bread)
Change breakfast - I was totally hooked on sugary cereal but one day I just decided to swap to eggs instead. I love it now. Just two boiled eggs with one slice of lovely toast.
Add an extra veg at each meal - even if it's just cutting a few slices of cucumber.
Are you getting enough sleep? Tiredness leads to hunger and cravings. You could set yourself a bedtime and stick to it.
Carry a bottle of water everywhere. Before every meal or snack, drink a good glass' worth.
Get a mini exercise bike (they are basically just pedals on a little stand) and do it for five minutes a day while watching telly (gradually increase it)
Apologies for the waffle, I hope there's some things in the list that feel achievable. The thing is, IME thinking "I need to lose weight" is incredibly scary and overwhelming because it really does feel like an impossible mountain to climb doesn't it? But by breaking it down you can actually shift the focus onto much smaller, truly doable goals. I haven't weighed myself for a few months now, but I know it's coming off as I've had to buy new smaller clothes! And I'm not really thinking "I need to lose weight" anymore - all I am thinking of is one tiny change, like those in my list above, at a time.
Hugs. You CAN do this.
Hi Babs. Please don't feel ashamed of yourself. Admitting you have a problem and deciding to do something about it is something to be proud of. If it was easy to see a problem before it became a problem, there would be no one overweight in the world.
I think trying to find the right diet, or find ways of controlling your portions is not the right route for you. You are already aware that the cause of your problems with food are psychological. Therefore the solution lies in the same place. I think finding a counsellor (even better if you can find one who specialises in eating disorders) would be the single most effective thing you could do to regain control over your eating habits.
Best of luck with it all.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I would agree with the PP who suggest going to your GP and asking for counselling; you've been through a hell of a lot and so its not surprising that eating may have become one of your coping mechanisms.
I would suggest that you focus on being kind to yourself and looking after yourself as I don't get the sense that anyone has really looked after you. Feed yourself good healthy nutritious food because you love your body and you care for yourself. Eating sensibly and healthily is a way of being kind to yourself.
I am overweight and was heading towards morbid obesity if I didn't stop. I am starting to recognise that the things I thought were comforting me (chocolate, cake etc) were actually contributing to my feeling down. They might have made me feel better temporarily but they weren't solving the underlying problem. A simple example is that I would eat in the evenings when I was tired to get an energy boost - now I go to bed instead and stop trying to work against what my body really needs (if I haven't finished everything I go to bed extra early and get up a bit earlier instead). I am on a "diet" to lose weight but I see this as a mechanical process and a time to reevaluate my eating habits. I know the real focus is on making long term sustainable changes and dealing with my eating triggers.
Babs I've read your posts and skimmed the rest and TBH whilst you are overweight I don't think weight/size/food is the issue. You said you were addicted to food and explained the awful things that happened to you but that food helped you to feel better - for a while. To me I think you need professional help from either counselling, hypnotherapy or CBT to help you tackle what's going on the inside before you begin to think about anything else.
I would say your first step needs to be see your doctor and explain you need more than a dietician and can they arrange some therapy for you.
I don't know if you have the funds yourself but it may be a lot quicker to arrange private counselling if you can afford it.
So often food is used as a crutch to help people get through tough times and then it becomes an addiction. It's a common story so please don't feel you are on your own with this.
Please go and see your doctor so you can get help with the psychological causes/aspects of your over eating, rather than just the physical results.
I dietitian or counselor may also be helpful.
In terms of what you can do from home, I find myfitnesspal is fantastic for helping me keep track of food in = calories burned.
Well done for acknowledging your problem, and good luck!
I'm sorry i haven't read the whole thread.
I too have an issue with portion control. Things like SW just don't work for me in the long term. They are far to vague.
The things that have worked best for me are WW (a few years ago) and currently I am using My Fitness Pal. Both ways you choose what you want to eat but stop when you hit your daily allowance whether its WW points or calories.
Obviously healthy foods are lower in calories/points so you get more food for your allowance.
Good luck and well done for making the first step.
Babs I'm also in the southeast and overweight. I was over 21st last year but I'm well on my way to 16 now. PM me and hopefully we might be close.
I had to give up the crap as I was pregnant and had GD and I've had a binge since she was born but I'm now back on track. Find something to do in the evenings when your DC are in bed. I make hair bands and little bits for my girls.
I really want to join bootcamp as I've seen some amazing results from mums at my DC's old school.
I've also just started running. I'm doing the couch to 5k, I've never run before so it's a huge challenge for me.
Well done for posting on here.
In case it helps...
My DH really struggles with his weight. He seems to only need to look at food to get heavier, and he has a busy, physical job. He can easily eat a medium, deep pan pizza in one sitting and still have room for dessert, so portion size has always been an issue! Over the years, we've found some things that work for him. They might be of use to you...?
- Taking a multivitamin tablet daily (if you like processed food, you are likely not to be getting enough nutrients. So your body is driving you to eat more and more and more, so it can get enough of everything it needs).
- Going swimming. It's cardiac exercise, which doesn't stress your joints. There are some very large ladies and men at our pool, and they are slowly making progress, getting fitter and slimmer. Exercise that gets your heart rate up, makes you feel good about yourself, and obviously burns calories!
- Having a strict food budget and buying only healthy food. So we don't have anything unhealthy in the house, and what we buy on a Friday, has to last until the following Friday. It's meal planned, and he doesn't have access to his card mid-week (it's in my purse - his choice!). So he can't buy any more food, and the only choice for snacks is fruit. If he overdoses on bread at the weekend, he'll be eating salad for lunch for the rest of the week. He knows what's in the fridge/cupboard has to feed the rest of the family too, so he's careful.
- Having a low-calorie drink when you feel hungry. Fills you up, and you might well be confusing thirst with hunger anyway. We have diet squash and tea in the house.
Babs i have just read the whole thread and what you are going through has really resonated with me. I felt so sad when you said that you have no influence on anything in this world. You are a mother of two young children, they will have no greater influence in this life than you.
I think some form of counseling could be a good idea because it sounds like your weight is just a symptom of a bigger issue. I think starting this thread has been a great step for you and hope that you can keep making positive changes in your life.
I think this is your lightbulb moment Babs, the moment that will change you forever and I know that you will do this.
Do you know how I know this?
Because the title of your OP says 'I am 21 stone'. Not 'I am morbidly obese' or 'I am over weight' or 'I need to lose a few stone'.
You've identified it, you've acknowledged it and you've said it. You know you need to change it.
It will and can be done. It's a cliche but YOU are worth it, you owe it to yourself to lose this weight and take care of yourself. It will make you happy and you will have the life you want. You will be a confident woman who looks forward to going out and meeting your friends and family, not hiding away. You are so young and have so much ahead of you. Do it now, and don't waste any more days of your life living like this
You've made a start by writing it down and facing up to it, and that's probably the hardest thing to do. As has already been said start with your GP, with them on your side you can get yourself to where you want to be.
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