To be fed up with selfish changing room behaviour

(50 Posts)
Lambzig Wed 26-Mar-14 13:24:21

I expect I am, but it is giving me the rage.
The changing room at our swimming pool is communal with lots of smaller than a toilet sized cubicles .

There are just two larger changing rooms which are labelled as for users with disabilities and for families. These are the only ones with a baby changing drop down area or bench. There are no bench areas outside of the cubicles, so its the cubicles or nothing. There are signs saying disabled users should be given priority, fair enough.

I take DD3 for her swimming lesson and take DS, 16 months swimming at the same time every week. Every time I go now, the 2 larger changing rooms are open, but reserved by towels and clothes being left all over the surfaces and baby changing area and pushchair in the middle. I am pretty sure it is the same two culprits who seem to be in the pool for at least an hour each week, with their children in lessons, leaving the rooms unusable by anyone else.

Yes, I know its murderous trying to change two children and yourself in one of the smaller cubicles and obviously I do not know if the people reserving the rooms have a disability, but I think its unutterably selfish of any user to occupy the rooms for an hour and stop others using it.

Other people are really fed up with it too.

I complained to staff, and they agreed that it was not OK to do that, but didn�t feel there was anything they could do about it other than put a sign up which is ignored.

I know the centre should have better facilities too, but it�s a local one and unlikely to get massive funding any time soon.

I am so tempted to just grab their stuff and shove it in one of the lockers not accidentally dropping it in the wet part of the changing room floor and just use it. AIBU?

SuperStrength Wed 26-Mar-14 13:27:15

Maybe complain again & suggest that they remove the items.
When the owners then come looking for their things, they have the opportunity to address the the issue face to face

Just use the room when you need it.

If they come back they can wait.

Just use it. Why wouldn't you? If they come back, disingenuous smile and, "I thought there must be a mistake, these are for everyone, right?".

fluffyraggies Wed 26-Mar-14 13:36:03


Just shove all their stuff up one end/in a corner and use the room OP. maybe fling some talc about a bit? Not your fault if their dark clothes get a sprinkling ...

There's another thread about this at the mo.

eveylikesv Wed 26-Mar-14 13:37:09

Take pushchair out, put towels on it, use the cubicle. Ask staff to put a note saying: 'Cubicles can not be reserved'. Simple. I wouldn't even think twice about doing it.

pigsDOfly Wed 26-Mar-14 13:38:28

I'd just gather all their stuff together, dump it in the pushchair and move the pushchair somewhere else. And if I was feeling very brave I'd also accidentally drop some of it on the wet floorsmile

This sort of thing really annoys me.

pigsDOfly Wed 26-Mar-14 13:39:15

Cross post with eveylikesy

pigsDOfly Wed 26-Mar-14 13:40:03

Oh for gods sake eveylikesv

pigsDOfly Wed 26-Mar-14 13:41:20

That for gods sake was because of my typo not at your post eveylikesv smile

Objection Wed 26-Mar-14 13:42:55

I'd move their stuff if it's clear they are not coming back anytime soon.

Artandco Wed 26-Mar-14 13:45:25

I would just take a travel changing mat and change your ds on communal changing room floor tbh. Surely you don't actually need it more than they do if they have children also?
Less chance of your toddler falling off table also if on the floor

Inkspellme Wed 26-Mar-14 13:52:55

When this happens in my local pool the stuff is gathered by staff and minded in reception. When the owner comes back they usually head to reception to "complain"that their belongings have been stolen. staff have then handed the stuff back with a firm reminder that cubicles can not be reserved. system works a treat.

I would add that there are warning notices up about no cubicles reserving. there are lots of lockers including wheelchair accessible ones so no excuse to reserve much needed wheelchair and buggy accessible cubicles.

Art they don't need the room while they are in the pool though, do they? Potentially lots of families could use the room while they are not.

Famzilla Wed 26-Mar-14 13:56:46

Just chuck their stuff out. Don't see why you haven't already tbh!

Nomama Wed 26-Mar-14 14:03:24

The fact that they have left you a very hand receptacle for slinging their stuff into is great!

Bung it all in the pram. Use the cubicle, bung the pram back in when you have finished. Their stuff won't be less safe cos it's the other side of curtain!

Sod 'em. Practice the look that goes with those words......a haughty, Boudicca thing!

snakeandpygmy Wed 26-Mar-14 14:04:45

Gather up their stuff, take it to Reception and say 'Somebody left this in the Changing Room' leave it with the staff.

StrawberryGashes Wed 26-Mar-14 14:10:20

I need to take my son into disabled changing areas, I wouldn't dream of leaving our stuff everywhere and 'reserving' the space though. Put all their clothes onto the buggy and wheel the buggy outside the changing area.

Yamyoid Wed 26-Mar-14 14:12:20

Art, have you tried helping one child get changed/dried while stopping a toddler running off in a wet and slippy changing room?
Our swimming pool had the same policy as a pp mentioned. Any belongings left in cubicles get taken away by staff. There are signs all over.
What annoys me is when a family of 1 adult and 2 children, clearly old enough and able enough to get themselves changed, use the family cubicle meaning I'm stuck in a tiny space with a screaming toddler trying to help older ds.
I should add, this is for swimming lessons where there isn't the time to wait for the family cubicle to be vacated.

PrimalLass Wed 26-Mar-14 14:13:23

I would just load it all onto the buggy and push it out of the cubicle.

ikeaismylocal Wed 26-Mar-14 14:15:18

I'd just bundle it up and put it on the floor in a puddle outside the changing room. If they come back whilst your changing and ask you if you moved their stuff just say no the changing room was empty, someone else must have moved it, give them some friendly advice that if they use the lockers provided no one will be able to move their stuff.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 26-Mar-14 14:16:09

Just put it all in the pushchair and leave it in the corner.

I move things when people do this. One women spends ten minutes washing her daughter's hair, and always leaves stuff in one of the few double sized cubicles - essential for me when I've got toddler DS2 with us.

The time I moved her stuff, she came spluttering along saying 'oh those are ours, blah blah', I just replied 'yes but I want to use this cubicle now' smiled sweetly and handed her her bags.
She went off muttering.

Her daughter is actually 12/13 and to my mind should be capable of getting herself changed without Mummy needing to be in the cubicle with her. Completely ridiculous and selfish.

PrincessScrumpy Wed 26-Mar-14 14:16:24

I take 2 toddlers swimming and would never do that. Definitely pile it up on the buggy and move the stuff out - our swimming pool staff put stuff in lockers and you have to request the key/find our where your stuff is if you leave it in a changing room.

NoNoNoNoNoYabu Wed 26-Mar-14 14:17:27

That is just awful behaviour - I agree with everyone about bundling their stuff up and taking it to reception.

I bet the staff are eager for a customer to "take it into their own hands"

WitchWay Wed 26-Mar-14 14:18:28

Yes, chuck out the stuff - take it to reception if you're feeling benevolent

steff13 Wed 26-Mar-14 14:19:14

I would just load it all onto the buggy and push it out of the cubicle.

This is exactly what I would do. I wouldn't throw their stuff on the floor, no matter how much I might want to but I wouldn't hesitate to stack it all on the stroller and sit it outside the cubicle. When they get out of the pool, they can use the cubicle. They don't need it while they're swimming.

StrawberryGashes Wed 26-Mar-14 14:21:53

Ali maybe they're in a similar position as I am and her daughter has a disability of some sort? I can't imagine a nt 13 year old wanting their mother to change her.

JohnCusacksWife Wed 26-Mar-14 14:29:12

Can't believe people actually do that! I'd pop it in the pushchair and park it outside. Hell mend them.....

Mintyy Wed 26-Mar-14 14:30:27

Didn't we have this same question yesterday?

Buckteethjeff Wed 26-Mar-14 14:38:48

I work at a Lesuire Center and this goes on allllllllllllll the time!

Just move it.

Cubicle wars, lane swimming wars, shampoo wars, locker wars it's endless!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 26-Mar-14 14:48:48

Strawberry there are disabled changing rooms if that is the case, and I don't think I have ever seen them all full.

I don't think she has SEN, she washes her own hair in a shower cubicle with a door - her mother stands outside and shouts at her through the door and opens it occasionally to tell her to hurry up.

Artandco Wed 26-Mar-14 14:52:13

Yam - yes of course I have. Have x2 ds's 16 month apart. Plonk eldest down, change youngest, swap.
I understand its annoying but it isn't the end of the world. Most countries I travel to haven't even got a changing table in any toilets/ pools/ shops. The whole country seems to survive.

balenciaga Wed 26-Mar-14 14:54:43

Yanbu I'd sling all their shit out and use it, but I'm mean grin

Piss takers

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 26-Mar-14 14:55:10

Art what does the other one do while you change one? My two would both have made a dash for the door/side of the pool. Utter non-starter.

Lambzig Wed 26-Mar-14 15:01:12

You have all given me bravery. I shall move their stuff next time. Might make them think twice.

There is no communal area to bung them on the floor. There are corridors with lockers on one side, cubicles on the other, so you end up with them in the cubicle, you sitting on the floor outside in the corridor, getting them dressed on the towel (fair enough) while they both try and charge off and people try to get past you. Its then you have to squash them up in the cubicle while you get changed and they try to escape, scream, try to roll around on the wet floor etc. All doable, but flipping annoying when there is an empty changing room with a toddler chair, a changing mat and a bench which is technically empty.

Sorry if this is a repeat of one yesterday. Seems there are selfish individuals everywhere.

Lambzig Wed 26-Mar-14 15:03:07

oh and DS has run off and jumped into the paddling swimming pool while i was wrangling with the eldest. He doesnt do standing still atm.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Wed 26-Mar-14 15:05:40

Please move it and then come back and tell us what happened.

Changing cubicle threads - the younger sibling of parking threads: smaller but often just as enjoyable. smile

icanmakeyouicecream Wed 26-Mar-14 15:12:34

I would put their crap in a locker, absolutely.

Yamyoid Wed 26-Mar-14 15:16:45

Art, my point is the same as Ali, I agree that a changing table isn't a necessity, but having the space to lock a toddler in with yourself and other dc/s is.

drspouse Wed 26-Mar-14 15:49:38

Oh and don't get me started on people who think that their shoes are pristine and clean but that other people's shoes are dirty and horrid.

This leads to the conclusion that they couldn't possibly take off their shoes at the entrance (in case they have to walk on the floor where other people have walked in shoes, in their bare feet - oh wait - everyone has to do that to get to the swimming pool).

MaryShelley Wed 26-Mar-14 15:55:01

And don't get me started on the 'I've got my blue shoe covers on,but still wheel the muddy pushchair around' brigade. Makes the communal changing area disgusting for the rest of us. When my children were little I left the pushchair outside or didn't bring it!

Oldraver Wed 26-Mar-14 16:30:53

Leaving the pushchair in there will make it easier for you to get rid of the clothes out of the changing room.

You have to do it or thye will never get it...I actually cant believe people just walk away when they see clothes in a changing room...just move the clothes

Smilesandpiles Wed 26-Mar-14 16:49:33

I used to have this problem to but after reading several threads about this exact same thing I gathered the courage to take the clothes and dump them outside.

The woman came back with her kids while we were getting changed, bangging on the door shouting at me that "I don't touch her stuff" so I shouted back " You don't reserve the changing rooms".

She went to complain about me but ended up getting a lecture from the managers about leaving belongings in places where they shouldn't be. (overheard as she was still outside the door).

I was shaking afterwards as I HATE confrontation and the kids were nervous about it too but I felt better for it and I've never had to do it again.

Gracelo Wed 26-Mar-14 16:57:03

Someone does that at our local pool, same situation, only 2 family changing rooms available. I take the dc swimming Sunday mornings and it's the same family that leaves their stuff in one of the changing rooms.
Two Sundays ago I get there after the shower and there are 2 more families waiting for a changing room, one room was in use the other with the stuff of 4 people piled on the benches. I was so annoyed I stormed in there and swiped all their stuff to one side, luckily noticed the two sets of glasses on top of the pile of clothes, didn't really want to break their glasses, and we got changed in there nevertheless. The dc were really worried the people would come back and be angry but I was so ready for a fight, I was quite disappointed they didn't make it back before we were done.
I just don't understand why they think this is right and what the row of lockers is for.

Lambzig Wed 26-Mar-14 19:27:13

Ok, next Tuesday I will put my "don't mess with me" face on and move their stuff. I will report back, I promise.

I genuinely don't think I need it more than anyone else and if others are in there, fair enough. But I don't think anyone should get to tie it up unused for an hour, particularly as it's a shared facility for those with a disability and leaving used nappies around is horrid behaviour.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 26-Mar-14 20:32:08

AFAIK there isn't a quota on disabled people at the local pool, more than two are allowed so it would usually be unreasonable for them to keep their own personal changing rooms.

I agree with the advice to put their stuff in the push chair and then eject it, taking it to reception if required.

HelenHen Wed 26-Mar-14 21:32:59

I'd actually enjoy moving it! Like on holiday, I went to the beach and all the chairs were taken up by towels with no people around. I took that to mean I could have my pick of them smile . Once somebody came back and said 'that's our toweo'clock and I just llooked at them like they were idiots and went back to my book. It felt good!

HelenHen Wed 26-Mar-14 21:33:51

Not sure where the o'clock came from lol. They said 'that's our towel'

Lucylouby Wed 26-Mar-14 22:39:56

I remember this happening where we used to live. Dds swimming lesson, the same family used to leave their stuff in the family changing room for the duration of their lesson. There was no where else to change dd so I thought stuff them and went in the cubicle, didn't touch their stuff, but changed dd. while we were in there they came back and I made them wait. The mother was fuming as she couldn't get to their stuff, but their was always a queue for changing rooms and she just didn't get why she shouldn't leave her stuff in the cubicle. The next week she left her stuff in the cubicles again and having seen me annoy her, other people started to use the cubicle too and after a few weeks she got the hint and started using the lockers like everyone else.
YANBU to move her stuff and use the cubicle.

Iggi101 Wed 26-Mar-14 22:51:45

Full of righteous indignation from reading such threads on mumsnet, I was once about to go into a changing room full of stuff and liberate it - the woman and dcs were literally a foot in front of me getting the rest of their stuff out of the locker blush I managed to back away before she noticed (I hope).

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